love and logic - slides
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Welcome to
Love & Logic
Presented by Dr. Jim Scott
A GUIDE FOR PARENTS
Goals of ParentingRaise Children who are:
IndependentAble to think criticallyGood problem solvingKnow they are loved
Secure
THREE STYLES OFPARENTING
Helicopters
Drill Sergeants
Consultants
HelicoptersHover Rescue
As parents you do it all!
Children learn they do not have to be accountable.
Drill Sergeants
Work by command and intimidation
As parents you call all the shots.
As a child you are taught not to think!
Consultants
Offer help when asked.
As parents your role is to help children solve their own problems
As a child you are valued . You learn there are solutions and consequences to their behaviors.
Love and Logic Principles
Adults set firm limits in a loving way.
Childhood mistakes are seen as an opportunity for Learning
When the adult has immediate Control
Enforceable Statements
Choices WithinLimits
Uh, Oh song
Instant Empathetic Response
When the Adult has No Immediate Control
One-Liners to Neutralize Arguing Strategic
Training
Delayed consequence
InstantEmpathetic Response
Restitution
Problem Solving
NUTRALIZING ARGUING
ANTICIPATORY CONSEQUENCES
EMPATHETIC RESPONSES
CHOICES WITHIN LIMITS“UH, OH SONG”
RESTITTUTION
GUIDING KIDS TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS
CREATE ENFORCEABLE STATEMENTS
Neutralize Neutralize ArguingArguing
•Don’t allow your children to control your actions or you!
Two steps to Neutralize Arguing
1) Use Instant Empathetic Responses
The expression of genuine empathy has an amazing ability to soak up emotions.
I understand..
You sound up set
I know just what you mean
Step 2 Neutralize Arguing
Use love and logic one-liners
It is important that you use these one liners over and over.
Famous One Liners
Keep your composure
Listen be reflective
Create Statements that do not allow for control
Respond with Empathy
Famous One linersFamous One liners
• Send “Can do” Messages
• Give only choices you like
• Take care of yourself and set limits
• Use the sandwich technique
To get a free Love and Logic Materials and Catalogue
Call 1-800-338-4065Mon-Friday 7-5 p.m. (Mountain Time)