Making others flourish

Agenda• Why are we here?

• What are we describing?

• What’s the answer?

• How might we apply it?

• Confessional....

It’s a verb…

“flourish”

“grow or develop in a wealthy or vigorous way”

[source: OED, 2010]

Meanwhile, modernity has killed such poetry, but its essence remains:

“[Good management] is the process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the

accomplishment of a common task”

[Source: M.M. Chemers, 2002]

Ultimately, isn’t it just about human relationships?

How do you and another human being have a

productive, decent relationship?

Consider two famous thoughts about relationships...

“If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it”

Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Harper Lee

“This above all: to thine own self be true,And it must follow, as the night the day,Thou canst not then be false to any man”

Is it all about them?

Or, is it all about you?

What happens when we reflect back on ‘good management’?

So, here’s a question...

Who has been your greatest “mentor”?

Now, another...

Why can you ascribe that

illustrious title?

How do we describe others who successfully influence us into action?

Mentor

Smart

MotivatorLeader

LoverInspirer

GeniusOpinionated

Friend

GuruVisionary

Teacher

What’s just happened?

• You looked inwards

• You reflected emotionally

• You accessed your limbic brain

• Your neo-cortex packaged up your feelings...

But, this isn’t a lesson in behavioural economics...

...though it is about managing others’ (and your own) emotions

The central question is...

Why do you – do we – flourish with these sorts of individual?

A recent survey reveals...

“People flourish when they fulfil their

potential and live in healthy relationships”

[source: CAFOD, October, 2010]

So, the answer is...

It’s All About Them...

How can you have a productive relationship with someone if you don’t think about what they want out of it?

And, how can you have a productive relationship with someone if you don’t think about what they think of you?

Now repeat the process for someone you manage at work:

1. How do they like to feel? (in control? safe? relaxed? Entertained?)2. What do they think are the best things about you & the way you make them feel?3. What habits/attributes of yours really piss them off?4. How does that make them feel?

Now It’s All About You...

What do you want to get out of it?

What is a better relationship from your point of view?

Think about what you would subtitle this session?

Why are you here?

Cont’d...

How to get people to do more good stuff so the agency looks good and I get promoted further?

How to nurture others so I get the warm glow of seeing them develop... And the warmer glow of being loved?

How to make other people be more like me?

Think about someone you know in your personal life who really seems to bring out the best in you

How do they do that?

What are you like when you are being your best?

Think about someone who managed/manages you brilliantly...

How would you describe them?

Mentor

Smart

MotivatorLeader

LoverInspirer

GeniusOpinionated

Friend

GuruVisionary

Teacher

Why?

What do you want people you manage to say about you?

Here’s the thing...

You flourish when your team flourishes – professionally and

emotionally

So what can you actually do?

Some tips and tricks that might help

Generating flourish:

1. Offer inspiration

2. Instilconfidence

3. Delivereducation

fulfilling potential

healthy relationship

A virtuous circle unfolds

PLANNER

Here’s the acronym

Inspiration Confidence Education

...an acronym with generous intent

What’s the key ingredient?

Inspiration

Great mentors inspire action; know when to lean in and when to lean back

‘Inspiration’ will always ask ‘why’...

WHAT?

HOW?

WHY?

‘why’ is purpose; ‘why’ is inspiration’s fuel

Try asking ‘why’ of those you seek to flourish:

Why do you think this is the answer?

You must be able to answer the why for any task...

Give your team a cause – your cause

– and their brains will follow

Behavioural economics (a slight return)

Planners have limbic brains too – appeal to their instinct, through

your own

The ‘power of why’ can be stated simply:

‘I BELIEVE’

implications

But beware...

Thank you; questions