LISTENING SKILLS

Why do we listen?• To gain information.

• To get feed back.

• To participate in another’s story.

• To hear of their experiences and insights.

• To be in control(information is power)

• To broaden our horizons(to learn)

• To create a relationship.

• To respect and value others.

Why don’t we listen?

• Hearing is by ears and ‘listening’ is by mind.• Impediments to listening: Filtering -gender,age,size,invasion of body space, foul

language,lack of, education,hostility,timidity bad grammar,poor enunciation,body odor, poor table manners, rudeness,laziness etc.

Imprecision -administrative aide to set up a computer spread sheet but added research data also.

Inattention -vagabond mind,reasons-anxiety,boredom,variations in speed,other priorities.

• Mismatching –failures cut both ways,the speaker fails to match,the listener fails to grasp and responds inappropriately.It takes two to fail at a conversation.Age difference leads to vocabulary mismatches, different aims, conceptual differences.

• Inflexibility-when you listen, you don’t talk.• Other negative listening behaviours.• Closes eyes• Glazes at the wall or ceiling• Glares at the speakers• Clicks the pen up and down• Uses cell phone• Whispers

Listening techniques that work

• Listen to body language and other non verbal cues .

• Listen precisely- avoid paraphrasing the message and seek instead to preserve and record the speakers exact words. It ensures accuracy, fosters civility, increases vocabulary,enhances retention,provides permanent records, focuses attention,helps follow structure, clarifies direction,enhances your professional stature.

• Repeat – let me repeat exactly what you said , this will help us serve you better, you seem to have said.

• Empathize- means identification with and understanding of another’s situation.You don’t judge, advise, or instruct but reflect sympathetically. Focus on the feeling of the speaker.e.g..you seem so distressed, that must have upset you.

• Clarify – clarification questions go beyond repetition. They seek expansion of the message heard. Please explain what does empowerment mean? This term productivity needs explanation.

• Probe – for additional information.please give me the details,what, who,where ,when.

• Listen Instructionally- responds to direct the discussion while validating the comment.e.g. thank you for raising the issue of empowerment

• There is communication even in silence - how to listen, when to listen.

POSITIVE IMPACT OF POSITIVE LISTENINGAccentuate the positives

How do you feel when someone really listens to you?

Respected

Cared for

That you’ve gained rapport

Rewarded

Satisfied

Sense of achievement

Positive feelings:

Increased productivity

Stronger working relationship

Better quality of work

Greater customer satisfaction

Repeat business

Easier and better problem solving

Greater cooperation and team work

Less stress

Listening is a powerful means of communication that can increase your effectiveness on the job.

THE THREE STAGES OF THE LISTENING PROCESS

Stage one - receiving: you take in the speakers message through your senses, hearing and seeing.

Stage two - processing: this activity takes place in your mind and involves analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing. Great deal of concentration is needed. “What does the speaker mean?”

Stage three - responding: the speaker sees and hears what the listener does. The speaker feels respected and understood by the listener, connection is made and productivity goes up.

DO’S• Do –concentrate on what the speaker is saying • Maintain eye contact• Smile and nod appropriately • Concentrate on speakers main idea• Don’t antagonise the speaker• Leave your emotions behind• React to ideas not to persons• Avoid hasty judgements• Ask questions• Avoid jumping to conclusions• Recognise your own prejudice• Give accurate feedback• Listen more talk less

PITFALLS

• Appearance and delivery

• Separating ideas from facts

• Interrupting

• Pretending

• Distraction

• Switching off

• Doing something else

• Sarcasm

• Dishonesty