listening and giving & receiving feedback

Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self ManagementKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542

January 2016

[email protected]

Manager, Training and DevelopmentOffice of Human Resources

Presented by Kevin R. Thomas

Supervisory Training SeriesListening SkillsGiving & Receiving Feedback


• Name• Where you work• How long you’ve been supervising• How long you’ve been supervising at

Williams

Introductions


1) Program Overview2) Listening Skills3) Giving and Receiving Feedback


1.Acknowledgements2.Structure of the Program3.Structure of Each Module4.Ground Rules

Program Overview


• Thanks to:– Staff Advisory Council– Staff Committee– Gary Bonafilia– Laura Day– Gayle Donohue– Steven Hegarty– Megan Konieczny– Ferentz Lafargue– Angie Marano – Joey McClain– Katie Nash

AcknowledgementsProgram Overview

• And also:– Raymond Torrenti– Liz Chambers and Teresa

Waryjasz


Communication & Self-Management

Supervising Individuals

Supervising Teams

Supervising at Williams

• Listening• Giving & Receiving Feedback• Emotional Intelligence• Difficult Conversations• Time Management & Prioritization

• Hiring• Onboarding• Performance Development• Dealing with Performance Problems• Leaves, Absences &

Accommodations

• Building Effective Teams

• Resolving Conflict

• Professional Ethics• Risk Management


Structure of Each ModuleProgram Overview

Skills Practic

e or Case Study

discussion

Overview:

“Least you

need to

know”

Who to call

Course web page

with all materi

als


• Confidentiality• Participation• Listening• Judgement free zone

Ground RulesProgram Overview


1.The Listening Container2.The Listening Stance

Listening Skills


• Privacy• Freedom from

Distractions• Time Limit• Setting Ground Rules

The Listening ContainerListening Skils


• Confidentiality• “I” statements• No name calling or pejorative

language• No interruptions• Volume and gestures

moderate• Time outs

Setting Ground RulesListening Skills Listening Container


• Minimal Encouragements• Open Ended Questions• Mirroring Statements• Empathic Statements

The Listening StanceListening Skills


• Echoing words or phrases

• Verbal cues that you are listening “Oh?”, “Mm hmm”, “Right.” etc.

• “Is there more about that?”

• Silence

Minimal EncouragementsListening Skills The Listening Stance


• Questions that encourage the speaker to explore the whole landscape of the topic.

• Cannot be answered “yes” or “no”

• Beware of advice posing as a question:“Have you considered doing x?”

Open Ended QuestionsListening Skills The Listening Stance


“You know how advice is.You only want it if it agrees with whatyou wanted to do anyway.”— John Steinbeck


• Statements that summarize what the person has said.

• Helps the other person know you are hearing them.

• Follow with “Have I got that right?”

Mirroring StatementsListening Skills The Listening Stance


Empathic StatementsListening Skills The Listening Stance

• Sharing your guess about what the speaker may be feeling:“Based on what I’m hearing, I’m guessing you’re really angry about this.”

• Demonstrates concern and respect for the person’s feelings.

• Follow with: “Am I right about that?”

• Don’t be afraid to ask “How are you feeling?”

• With sincerity, validate feelings:“That makes sense to me.”


“Anything that’s human is mentionable. And what’s mentionable is much more manageable.”— Fred Rogers


1.Pair up2.5 minutes each way3.Speaker: talk about a professional challenge

you’re facing right nowListener: Adopt a listening stance. No advice!

4.Switch!

Your Turn!


1.Giving Feedback2.Receiving Feedback

Giving and Receiving Feedback


• Principles• Positive feedback• Constructive feedback– Directive– Collaborative

Giving FeedbackGiving and Receiving Feedback


• Our brains are wired to notice what’s wrong• Train yourself to provide positive feedback• Feedback works best when it is:– Immediate– Specific– Behavioral– Supportive

Principles


Labeling the Person vs. Describing Behavior

Giving and Receiving Feedback

Principles

Labeling the Person

Describe the Behavior

Bad Attitude • Uses sarcasm• Crosses arms, frowns, avoids eye contact• Makes comments that undermine morale

Lazy • Delays or ignores certain tasks• Disappears and cannot be found• Arrives at work tardy, returns late from

breaks.• Takes longer than needed to complete

tasks• Performance suffers without frequent

direction and oversight• Ignores obvious problems• Leaves work for the next shift


Positive FeedbackGiving Feedback

Behavior

Impact

Best chance for repeated

behavior


Constructive Feedback: DirectiveGiving Feedback

Behavior

Impact

Positive

Future

Alternative

Best chan

ce for

changed behavio

r

• Use for simple, minor situations, as a first attempt to solve a problem.


Constructive Feedback: Non-directiveGiving Feedback

Behavior

Impact

1. Use behavior + impact to describe what you are seeing

2. Ask if they have additional information you should know. Listen.

3. Ask them for their interpretation. Listen.

4. Ask questions to ensure they are taking ownership of the problem.

5. Brainstorm solutions, negotiate, set a time to check in on progress.


1.Think about some constructive feedback you’d like to give.

2.Complete both sides of the worksheet.3.Pair up.4.Quickly set up the situation and role play

giving the feedback.5.Switch!

Your Turn!


• Adopt a listening stance• Ask questions to:– Get them to focus

on behavior + impact

– Drive towards a negotiated agreement about future.

– Set up a time to check on progress.

Receiving FeedbackGiving and Receiving Feedback


Links coming via email:

Contact Kevin Thomas at 413-597-3542or email [email protected]

Supervisory Training SeriesCommunication & Self-

Management

Questions?

• Course page link to all course materials• Program evaluation link, feedback welcome

listening and giving & receiving feedback

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