LIONS BY THE RIVER RAFFLE

Tickets: 1 for $2, or 3 for $5 Prizes:

1. $100 Birkenhead Tavern voucher 2. $50 Birkenhead Tavern voucher

3. $50 Sprint Auto Parts voucher

Packages Players

1. The Ranch Sam Fairclough, Rhys Crampton & Daniel Mikic

2. Lee Staple’s Group Lee Staple, Kaden Huynh & James Lunn

3. Daddy Day Care Darcy Ginever, Stefan Thomas & Lyndon Parham

4. Rose Between Two Thorns

Jay Moore, James Cibich & Riley Hemmings

5. Mr. Consistent’s Sam Davoren, Brad Moore & Nick May

6. Boyz From Norff Dylan Olive, Johnny A-B & Jarrad Jones

7. Tall Timber Matt Harper, Karl Muller & Dillon Coates

8. Nice Guys Zac Beecken, Keaton Thomas & Jacob Jolly

9. Half Back Wankers Lachlan Pink, Alex Hughes & Alex Gillespie

10. Rolls Royce Matthew Gates, Nathan Brown & Taylor Parham

11. Wildcards Cohen Mattner, James Watt, Daniel Lees, Aidan Parham William Kwan, Blake Elliot, Sean Sampson, Josh Shepherd, Reece Jesson, Dylan White, Michael Peck, Luke Johanson, every other player not listed & Bluey

Season Launch Player Auction Information

SMOSH encourages generous bidding

throughout the player auction. If successful,

will require a 50% deposit on the day –

with full payment to be made by round 1 of the

season. Best of luck!

Example Payout Guide 2020

$70* – A grade Best On / A grade BnF Winner

$100*

$60* – B grade Best On / B grade BnF Winner $75*

These prices are based

on each package selling for $300 average.

They may vary.

Packages Players 1. The Ranch Sam Fairclough

Pro's: Is Sam Fairclough. Con's: Glacks' forgets your name after you win a BnF, ask Hughesy & M. Cocks - both coaches pets, both win the BnF, both couldn't buy a vote the following year. There's something in that. Fun Fact: Went on holiday to the Virgin Islands once, now they're just called the Islands. Highlights: 2006 SANFL flag at 16 years old, 50+ league games, 2019 SMOSH BnF & association medal, still holds fastest 20m sprint at Port, 2019: 18x A's games.

Rhys Crampton Pro's: Probably won't get a contact injury, takes the piss when he finds himself in the 2's. Con's: Is now 30+ & in the dad club, better at soccer than footy. Fun Fact: Scored a hat-trick in a soccer reserves GF (who cares). Highlights: 2005-2015 soccer participation awards, 2019: 8x A's, 3x B's. If in the twos, will be handed BOG by quarter time.

Daniel Mikic Pro's: Loud, aggressive, scary, big, tells his opponent he is going to kill them, plays on my team, please don’t hurt me Mikic. Con's: Susceptible to yellow cards, lacks finesse, umpire abuse. Fun Fact: Once jumped on someone in an u/18s fight with footy boots on. Highlights: Only 1 yellow card last year, 2019: 17x B's games. Wear’s his heart on the sleeve, which the coach froths on.

2. Lee Staple’s Group

Lee Staple Pro's: Yet to drop a mark or miss a target all pre-season, absolute lock to be Glacks' 2020 coaches pet, rich man's Nato Gregor, best player in the league. Con's: Will have 4 blokes on him all year, has to have 2 other people in his player package. Fun fact: Went to Eagles' Mad Monday whilst playing for Sturt. Highlights: 2011 SANFL flag, played more league games than Fairy, 2020 SAAFL association medal.

Kaden Huynh Pro's: Towel's up the best full forwards in the league somehow, is as reliable as they come, is in Lee Staple's group. Con's: Too nice, long distance running. Fun Fact: Every time he sculls a beer he faints. Highlights: 10th in last years A Grade BnF, 2019: 18x A's games.

James Lunn Pro's: Versatile (ie, can only play forward pocket in the 2's), best mates with coach, is in Lee Staple's group. Con's: Turning circle, old Facebook profile pictures. Fun Fact: Prepared a speech for last years BnF count. Highlights: Played for Eagles 15 years ago, 3rd in last years B Grade BnF, 2019: 14x B's games. Best mate is the coach.

3. Daddy Day Care

Darcy Ginever Pro's: SMOSH Junior product, old man is extremely good value, can

Stefan Thomas Pro's: Work rate, rig, effort, hunger, tackling pressure, disposal count,

Lyndon Parham Pros- can stand up in the deep end. Cons- supports Arsenal and is the

play anywhere on the ground. Con's: Related to Brad Jones, lack of sleep from twins, likely to hamper on field performance. Fun Fact: This is the closest Brad Jones will ever come to having his name in a player auction group. Stop smiling Brad, no-ones buying you mate. Highlights: North Adelaide 2019 - 16 reserves games, Port Adelaide 2018 - 7 league & 10 reserves games.

taught Keats everything he knows. Con's: Ball drop, doesn’t drop the ball well, dropping of the ball needs work. Fun Fact: Sleeps in the plank position. Highlights: 2019: 15x A's, 3x B's games of which 1 was a BOG & 1 was a 2nd best - value!

third best Parham. Speciality- being the only Parham to put size on. Playing highlight- multiple years as leading goal scorer and ex captain. If in the twos, his opponent will be playing in the 3s the following week.

4. Rose Between Two

Thorns

Jay Moore Pro’s – Hard as nails and very good in and around the pack. Con’s – Worst footballer in his family. Specialty – has lived in London and now calls himself a Londoner. Grow up idiot you look like the biggest bogan going around. Playing Highlights – consistent A grader pre London move. Looking to claim his spot back or take the piss in the 2’s

James Cibich Pro’s – fastest man at SMOSH W/L. Con’s – pre-season attendance. Specialty – quickest bloke to the interchange bench when the runner advises him. Need a fence to catch him as he’s moving too quickly Playing Highlights – 2007 A grade premiership player. Hasn’t lost his touch. 3rd in BnF 2019.

Riley Hemmings Pro’s – Fit as a fiddle and has great skills. Con’s – Cannot handle himself on a night out on the beers. Specialty – only bloke at SMOSH W/L who is a qualified SANFL umpire. Playing Highlights- SMOSH W/L Junior who has impressed at senior level, consistent B grader who will push for A grade this year.

5. Mr. Consistent’s

Sam Davoren Pro’s – gun footballer, silky skills and is hard at it. Con’s – has the body of an 80 year old. Specialty – only bloke I know who’s torn a calf while taking a piss on a slight hill during a wine tour while pissed.

Brad Moore Pro’s – the lead by example skipper of the club, commands his troops and leads from the front. Courageous and determined. Con’s – brother of Jay. Specialty – can fix your air-conditioners if you ask him nicely. Playing Highlights -2018-date SMOSH

Nick May Pro’s – known as the trapper, runs all day, and occasionally suffers from leather poisoning. Con’s – prone to falling into fires and burn his hands when out on the piss. Specialty – does stomach crunches in his sleep. Playing Highlights – 2017-2019

Playing Highlights – Henley Sharks Div 1 A grade player premiership player. Quality recruit.

W/L A grade Captain. His courageous efforts are known to attract votes from vote givers.

consistent half forward in the A grade. If in the twos, takes the piss.

6. Boyz From Norff

Dylan Olive Pro’s – quick, whippy and loves a goal. Con’s – temper and training attendance. Also loves a party pie. Specialty – can kick a goal from anywhere on his left. Playing Highlights – nearly broke a bloke’s jaw and didn’t even receive a card. Received 6 weeks in the mail a week later though.

Johnny A-B Pro’s – hard, tough at the football. Brings a bit off mongrel to the table. Con’s – bad Knees Specialty – lived with JJ and is still sane. Playing Highlights- first game for SMOSH W/L, kicks a goal in the 1st minute. Then does his ACL in the 2nd. Definitely one to watch in 2020.

Jarrad Jones Pro’s – knows his way around the kitchen Con’s – too many well below average tattoos. Specialty – breeds Shar pei’s (dogs). Playing Highlights – good on the field, but better off it, rents a house 100m from the Rammy and loves to host kick-ons, just installed a fire pit for the 2020 season.

7. Tall Timber Matt Harper Pros: his ability to tap the ball in the exact spot during a ruck tap. Harps also loves a big pack mark. Cons: kicking a football. Specialty: taking up the extreme sport of electric scootering and scooting to work everyday. Player highlights: Harps ended up finishing 5th in the clubs BnF last year and is one of Glacks’ golden childs. Somehow kicked the footy backwards during a cold wet day against Mitcham. 5th in 2019 BnF.

Karl Muller Pros: plays regular season games. Cons: played finals for another team. Specialty: Can sing every word to “Joel Turner - These kids”. Player Highlights: x2 time premiership player for Woodville West Torrens Reserves. Weapon in the ruck, up front and down back in 2019.

Dillon Coates Pros: can still live in a cubby house and has muscly arms. Cons: having to put a booster chair on the drivers seat so he can see over the steering wheel. Having his own name spelt wrong from birth. Speciality: getting his Nanna to wash his clothes. Playing Highlights: winning the 2019 reserves association medal and coming runner up in the B grade best and fairest. Genuine vote getter.

8. Nice Guys Zac Beecken Pros: has no fear and will see ball get ball. Cons: spends more time getting his body taped up than out on the

Keaton Thomas Pros: has 2 first names so you can’t get his name wrong and plays both ends of the field. Cons: Lee Staple signing at the Den

Jacob Jolly Pros: lightening quick and not afraid to go get it. Cons: having longer hair than my sister.

field. Specialty: is never a single man, always has a girlfriend #ladiesman. Playing Highlights: getting 4th best first game back in a semi final after missing half a season with a broken collarbone. Consistent A grader.

and playing CHB. Specialty: table tennis, darts, cards, bocce, beer pong and cards after midnight at Moorey’s place. Playing highlights: taking a specky first game back after his European holiday and then kicking it out on the full. Consistent A grader.

Specialty: starting fights with blokes double his age then telling them to stop fighting 17 year olds. Playing highlights: debut into the A grade last year and will be strong contender this year. Came 4th in the 2019 B grade BnF.

9. Half Back Wankers

Lachlan Pink Pros- delivers on a Saturday better then your postman ever will. Cons- isn’t your postman. Speciality- dressing up as a female. Playing highlight- never played a B grade game, Gaelic state player. Big time playyyyaaaa ;)

Alex Hughes Pros- under 10% body fat, beating Jay Moore in runs, fittest his ever been. Cons- has never bought a carton for after the game and F45 stuff. Speciality- staying at home on weekends. Playing highlight- 2018 BnF winner, being a genuine vote getter.

Alex Gillespie Pros- plenty of self-love, doesn’t lack confidence and is the BF to Charlotte Tito. Cons- only in here because he made us do it. Speciality- playing every week only missed one game last year. Playing highlight- ran from back pocket to forward flank in dying seconds of CBC game to mark and kick the game winner from about 45 out on a tight angle against a 5 goal breeze... just ask him.

10. Rolls Royce

Matthew Gates Pros- can spin on a dime and sell candy. Cons- ^^will apologise after doing it^^ Speciality- sinking a pint in 2 seconds flat. Playing highlight- a lovechild of the coach, top 5 in the BnF in the pasted 3 years. 4th in 2019 BnF.

Nathan Brown Pros- aging like a good bottle of red. Cons- we have recruited better players so not the coaches pet anymore. Speciality- ducking his head to draw a high free kick. Paying highlights - oldest playing player since last As premiership, 2x BnF winner.

Taylor Parham Pros- run and carry. Cons- hasn’t seen the inside of the club. Speciality- polling votes in league medal and club BnF. Playing highlight- winning a league medal and 7th in the A grade BnF last year.

11. Wildcards Cohen Mattner Pros: can kick a goal from

James Watt Pros- Is an absolute jet and will take

Package Players Cohen Mattner, James Watt, Daniel

anywhere, lightening quick for his age. Cons: he can give you a speeding ticket for driving too fast. Specialty: always being the first one with his kit off and in the showers. Playing highlights: Kicking 56 goals in the 2019 season and coming 6th in the BnF, kicking a goal in round 5 after the siren to win us the game.

the piss in Div 4. Inside mid. Gun. Wear’s a helmet, therefore attracts votes. Cons- same height as D Coates. Speciality- doing weird things when he’s on the cans with the boys. Playing highlight- played league footy for Stuart and Central Districts. Played for the Den when we were in Div 2 and shook every tag thrown his way.

Lees, Aidan Parham William Kwan, Blake Elliot, Sean Sampson, Josh Shepherd, Reece Jesson, Dylan White, Michael Peck, Luke Johanson & Bluey. Every player not listed.