Meredith BeckCDHS

Lifebook Worksheets:Creating your TREE

Look at the roots of a tree. See how they anchor the tree to the earth, allowing the towering plant to retrieve nutrients and water from the soil in which it is planted. See how the branches and leaves soar toward the heights, collecting sunshine, moving in the breeze, bending in the wind.

Our stories root us to our core values and help our deepest dreams take flight. Our stories – both our personal and family stories, as well as the stories of our multi-faceted cultures -- strengthen our spirits and give us an identity.

Root pages: Starter roots, Lifetime roots, Inspirations rootsTrunk pages: personal informationBranch pages: Experiences, goals, etc.Garden pages: Friends, siblings, teachers, counselors, caseworkers, etc.Sun stamp: People and experiences that made growing happy and funRain stamp: People and experiences that made growing harder and sad

Directions:

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During your visitation sessions, fill out these sheets on your own or ask questions of the people you’re with.

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Guidance for Adult helpers

"Let us not underestimate how hard it is to listen and to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place where they are weak,

vulnerable, lonely and broken. But … our spontaneous response … is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick cure for it.

As busy, active, relevant people we want to [make] a real contribution. This means first and foremost doing something to show that our

presence makes a difference. And so we ignore our greatest gift, which is our ability to be there, to listen and to enter into solidarity with those

who suffer." Henri Nouwen

Reflective Listening

Reflective listening is an active listening process that includes paying attention to a speaker's content, intent and nonverbal communication in an empathic and nonjudgmental way.

When listening empathically, respond to the speaker with phrases such as "I understand what you're saying," "I see your point" or "I've been there myself." You also can respond nonverbally by nodding your head, maintaining strong eye contact or touching the speaker in a comforting manner.  To listen nonjudgmentally, you have to set aside any preconceived ideas and opinions. How you react to the speaker is the true measure of your ability to listen nonjudgmentally. Try some of these  responses:

The simple "I" message. This rephrases the speaker's message in your own descriptive words.

The active "I" message. Use this when you want the speaker to know how you feel.  Remember you're not judging, just giving your opinion

The feeling message. When an "I" message isn't enough, try the following formula: "You feel (blank) because (blank)." This reflects the speaker's feelings and the reasons for those feelings as you understand them.

Open-ended questions. To listen reflectively, you may need to ask the speaker these types of questions in order to further understand what she's saying. Open-ended questions don't have a right or wrong answer, and they can't be answered in only one

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or two words. They also force the speaker to rethink his or her position.

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Worksheet series 1: Fill out the information that you know. Ask your visitor or caseworker to help you if you need to. If you need more

space, feel free to write on the back or a blank sheet of paper.

Organize what you need for your tree!

Who are your “Root” people?

Starter Roots:Biological Mom:

Biological Dad:

Biological Grandma:

Biological Grandpa:

Biological Grandma:

Biological Grandpa:

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Lifetime Roots:

Foster Moms:

Foster Dads:

Foster Grandmas:

Foster Grandpas:

Adoptive Mom:

Adoptive Dad:

Adoptive Grandmas:

Adoptive Grandpas:

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Inspirational Roots:

Very Special people who have had a BIG influence on who you are:

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What sort of things are important to who you are, the core or “Trunk” of you?Examples: Birthdate: ____________________________________________

Hometown: __________________________________________Favorite things to do, places to go, etc.:

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Interests: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Strengths and weaknesses:________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Who and what make up your branches?These are the experiences that are part of your life and goals for your

future.

Experiences: (examples are: school, a day at a friend’s house last year, the time you learned to ride a bike, learning to play the piano, etc.)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Goals Branches: (These are your hopes, dreams, and plans for your life)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Worksheet series 2: Root Page My Mom Root

What do you know about your mom?

Age or birthday?

Hair color?

Eye color?

Height?

Things she likes to do?

Things she doesn’t like to do?

Foods she likes?

Food she doesn’t like?

Hidden talents? (singing, dancing, sewing, fixing the car, etc.)

Jobs she has had?

Schools she has attended?

Does she have any brothers or sisters? If she does, who are they?

Have you ever met her? If you have, what things remind you of her (smells, foods, plants, activities, etc.)?

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Worksheet series 2: Root Page My Dad Root

What do you know about your dad?

Age or birthday?

Hair color?

Eye color?

Height?

Things he likes to do?

Things he doesn’t like to do?

Foods he likes?

Food he doesn’t like?

Hidden talents? (singing, dancing, sewing, fixing the car, etc.)

Jobs he has had?

Schools he has attended?

Does he have any brothers or sisters? If he does, who are they?

Have you ever met him? If you have, what things remind you of him (smells, foods, plants, activities, etc.)?

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Worksheet series 2: Root Page My Grandmother Root

What do you know about your grandmother?

Age or birthday?

Hair color?

Eye color?

Height?

Things she likes to do (or used to like to do)?

Things she doesn’t like to do (or never liked doing)?

Foods she likes (or liked)?

Food she doesn’t like (or didn’t like)?

Hidden talents? (singing, dancing, sewing, fixing the car, etc.)

Jobs she has had?

Schools she has attended?

Does she have any brothers or sisters? If she does, who are they?

Have you ever met her? If you have, what things remind you of her (smells, foods, plants, activities, etc.)?

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Worksheet series 2: Root Page My Grandfather Root

What do you know about your grandfather?

Age or birthday?

Hair color?

Eye color?

Height?

Things he likes to do (or used to like to do)?

Things he doesn’t like to do (or never liked doing)?

Foods he likes (or liked)?

Food he doesn’t like (or didn’t like)?

Hidden talents? (singing, dancing, sewing, fixing the car, etc.)

Jobs he has had?

Schools he has attended?

Does he have any brothers or sisters? If he does, who are they?

Have you ever met him? If you have, what things remind you of him (smells, foods, plants, activities, etc.)?

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Worksheet series 3: Trunk Pages

Self-concept activity page

Fill the next page with who you are. This will help you understand what you focus on when you evaluate your self worth. Consider all of the things in your life that you are using right now to evaluate yourself as a person. Identify the different aspects or domains of your idea of self and represent those aspects or domains on the page in any way you’d like. Use the size and shape of the representations to show the importance of the aspect or domain in your overall assessment of your self-worth. Things you might include:

Personality Hopes and struggles Size, shape or weight Capabilities Passions and dreams Appearance Artistic ability Vocational interests Relationships Athleticism Emotional sensitivity Spirituality Role as a sister, brother, partner, friend, daughter, son,

worker, creator, mentor, learner Achievements Morals and beliefs Personal qualities like honesty and trustworthiness Your knowledge in certain areas School achievements Talents Intellectual ability Anything you think is part of how you evaluate yourself.

ACTIVITY

On the back of this sheet, construct your self-concept through drawing, words, shapes, colors. This is your creation, so there is no right or wrong way to do it.

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Worksheet series 3: Trunk Pages Dear Self

(From No Body’s Perfect: Stories by Teens About Body Image, Self-Acceptance, and the Search for Identity, By Kimberly Kirberger)Dear Self,

This is a long overdue letter, and for that I am sorry. In fact, a lot of what I want to say in this letter is about apologizing. I never made a conscious choice to hurt you. And yet I have—in so many different ways. Strangely enough, my motivation for doing most of the abusive stuff I did to you was about trying to make me—us—feel better.

From as far back as I remember, I never felt completely normal, or at least what I thought was normal. I would look at other girls and they just seemed better, smarter, and basically more together, I realize now that we all struggle and probably feel like everyone else is more blessed with something that we didn’t get.

I am sorry for the way I treated you. I am sorry for the things I have said and for the complete lack of faith I have had in you at times. I apologize for not regarding you in the way you deserve, and most of all for not placing your needs above all others. I have looked everywhere but to you for the love I need. I have done things and acted in ways that are shameful, all in the name of earning someone else’s love, when all of the time there you were just waiting for me to look inward.

I know you know that our journey will be a long one, and it will be far from easy. I am afraid that I will fail again, and there is a voice that speaks loudly warning me to not even try; that I am only asking for disappointment. But you deserve a hundred more attempts at getting it right and if that is what it takes, well, a hundred more it will be.

I know, as you do, that the journey will be filled with steps forward, followed by steps back. But that is okay. Each day I will wake up with a renewed effort and a humble prayer for the guidance I need to get back to you and to the spirit that is truly me.

I know you forgive me and I am so grateful for that. Today is a new day and, with your love and support, I will take those small, but very important, steps forward.I really do love you, Me

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Use the space below to write yourself a letter. It does not have to be like the one on the previous page, but you may use that version for inspiration. You may want to write a letter to yourself at a younger age, or maybe your future self. Maybe you want to write more than one letter. Think of this as an opportunity to be open and honest with yourself, to provide care and support for yourself, and to remember that you are never alone when you believe in who you are.

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Worksheet series 3: Trunk Pages

Portrait Poems Poetry deals with the emotions, just as music. An autobiographical

poem is personal—it reveals something about the person writing the poem. It does not have to rhyme. Below is a simple plan to write your

own autobiographical poem. Just follow the steps and—before you know it—it’s done.

I AM Poem

FIRST STANZAI am (two special characteristics you have)

I wonder (something you are actually curious about)I hear (an imaginary sound)I see (an imaginary sight)I want (an actual desire)

I am (the first line of the poem repeated)

SECOND STANZA

I pretend (something you actually pretend to do)I feel (a feeling about something imaginary)

I touch (an imaginary touch)I worry (something that really bothers you)I cry (something that makes you very sad)I am (the first line of the poem repeated)

THIRD STANZAI understand (something you know is true)

I say (something you believe in)I dream (something you actually dream about)

I try (something you really make an effort about)I hope (something you actually hope for)I am (the first line of the poem repeated)

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Portrait Poem 2

Follow these steps:Remember to end the first and last lines with a period (. )End allother lines with a comma (, ). All first letters of each line arecapitalized.

Line 1 Write your first name.

Line 2 Write four (4) words about you,

Line 3 Write Brother or Sister of and then list your brother or sister'sname, (If you don't have brothers or sisters, write no one.)

Line 4 Write Lover of and then three (3) things you love,

Line 5 Write Who feels and then three (3) things and how you feel aboutthem,

Line 6 Write Who needs and then three (3) things you need,

Line 7 Write Who gives and then three (3) things you give others,

Line 8 Write Who fears and then three (3) things that scare you,

Line 9 Write Who would like to see and three (3) things you want to see,

Line 10 Write Resident of and then the city you live in, then your street

name,

Line 11 Write your last name.

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Portrait Poem 3

L1- first nameL2 - four adjectives that describe youL3 - tells where you are in your family and gives your parents' namesL4 - names three things you likeL5 - tells how you feelL6 - tells what you are afraid ofL7 - tells what you would like to seeL8 - last name

Portrait Poem 4

I was... (a series follows describing yourself as a younger child)

I am... (here the series describes you as you are now)

Portrait Poem 5

Just Because...

Just because I'm Doesn't mean Doesn't mean And doesn't mean Just because Doesn't mean Doesn't mean Doesn't mean Just because Doesn't mean Doesn't mean Doesn't mean Just because (Question)(Question)(Question)(Statement)

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Worksheet series 3: Trunk Pages

You have published your autobiography, or produced an autobiographical music album, or given an interview about yourself. Design the cover of the book, CD, or magazine below. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this – you can draw, doodle, cut pictures or words from newspapers and magazines, or describe the design in words. You may also decide to write an excerpt from the book, some of the song lyrics, or a few quotes from your interview.

Another way to do this is to use a shoebox and decorate the outside with what the world can see about you and decorate the inside to reflect who you are on the inside. This box can then be used to keep special mementos.

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Worksheet series 3: Branch pages

MY COPING SKILLSCoping is the process of managing stress, keeping you safe, and getting through tough times. You use different skills t solve or

minimize problems and tolerate stress and conflict. There are some suggestions below for common ways to cope. What are some other

ways you might help calm yourself?

Deep breathingJournaling: writing or drawingListening to musicTalking to peers or safe adults

List safe and healthy ways you can choose to make yourself feel better:

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Worksheet series 3: Branch pagesUse the boxes below to draw the window to your life. What do you see for your future? What do you want for your future? You choose how far ahead in time you’re looking, and use words, drawings, photos, or any other materials to help illustrate what you see for yourself.

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Worksheet series 3: Branch pages

Life TimelineIn the spaces below, beginning with the year you were born, enter a year in each space up to the current date. In the spaces next to the years, write something that you remember, may have heard stories

about, or associate with that time period.

YEAR EVENT, MEMORY, EXPERIENCE

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Worksheet Series 4: Garden Pages

Your Garden

There are many people in your life who inspire you to grow, protect you, teach you, learn from you, care for you, whom you care for, and

people who influence your life. These people make up the garden that surrounds your tree. Use the following interview pages to learn more

about these people, or fill in what you already know. You may add anything you want to each person’s page, and feel free to make extra

pages as your garden grows!

People to consider including in your garden:

Sisters or brothersCousinsNeighborsTeachersFriendsCoachesCase workersHeroes

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Worksheet Series 4: Garden Pages

Interview RecordsYou may choose to paste a photo of the person, draw the person, or

include a memento from this person somewhere on this sheet!

Garden Person’s Name:

Garden Person’s Birthday:

Date:

Favorite thing about this person:

Reason this person is in your garden:

Memory with this person:

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