It’s truehard work never

killed anyone, but I figure, why take the chance?

It’s notcalled stalking...

it’s called“passionately

following”.

I thoughtlacrosse was

what you find in

la church.

After all, you only find out who is

swimming naked when the tide

goes out.

You see much more of your

children once they LEAVE HOME

I never hateda man enough

to give him diamonds back.

Life’s too short. Start with

dessert!

_____________Ronald Reagan

_____________Claire Danes

_____________Robin Williams

_____________Warren Buffett

— LIFE — is something to do

when you can’t get to sleep.

_____________Fran Lebowitz

_____________Lucille Ball

_____________Zsa Zsa Gabor

_____________Barbra Streisand

Procrastinate

NOW,don’t put it off.

Don’t cry over spilled milk. By this time

tomorrow, it’ll be free yogurt.

At my ageflowers

scare me.

a_____________George Burns

_____________Ellen Degeneres

_____________Stephen Colbert

Life is hard.

After all, it

kills you.

I went to a fightthe other night,

and ahockey game

broke out.

In America, anyone can

become president. That’s

the problem.

You know you’re GETTING OLD

when the candles cost more than

the cake.

Everybody talks about the weather,

but nobodydoes

anything about it.

I cook withwine

sometimes I even add it to the food.

_____________Katharine Hepburn

_____________Rodney Dangerfield

_____________George Carlin

_____________Bob Hope

_____________Mark Twain

_____________W. C. Fields

There is noangry way to

say bacon.

Living with kids is like living in a frat

house... everything’s broken, nobody

sleeps, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Adults are just

outdatedchildren.

You’re not famous until

- MY mother - has heard of you.

I keep hearing in my head “you are the Messiah, you are the Messiah”. I think there’s something wrong with my headphones. >>> Russell Brand

Life issupercalifragilisticexpialidocius

<<< Julie Andrews

It’s

deja vuall over again.

Insanity runs in my family. It

practically gallops.

_____________Tyra Banks

_____________Ray Romano

_____________Dr. Seuss

_____________Jay Leno

_____________Yogi Berra

_____________Cary Grant

It’s not the men in your life

that matters, it’s the

life in your men._____________

Mae West