Youth is the gift of nature,but age is awork of art.”

—Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

SOME SHY AWAY FROM REVEALING THEIR AGE, but in each year of one’s life thereis a story just waiting to be told and there are new generations looking up as they find their own paths.As daunting a task as that may sound, in addition to overcoming the hang-ups in the LGBT communityabout growing older, it’s a grand cause for celebration. It’s a beginning all in itself; these 10 individualsshare some ups and downs, from becoming a parent to figuring out their place and just what they’reafter in life—and learning it never hurts to always keep their dreams at eye-level. So let’s see how sweetlife is when it begins at 40.

BY AARON DRAKE

GLENN GAYLORDAge: 47

Location: Los Angeles

Hometown: Youngstown, Ohio

What do you want to be when you growup?: I want to write, direct and produce filmsuntil I have nothing left to say or more moneythan I know what to do with, whichever comesfirst (my first feature, Eating Out 3: All You CanEat opens in theatres in October). I want tomake humanist, character-driven comedies inthe John Hughes, James L. Brooks, CameronCrowe vein, but with a little John Waters meetsTodd Solondz thrown in there to keep things alittle nasty, off-balance and wrong. Just add adollop of my Midwestern-ness to the mix tocomplete the recipe.

A defining moment in the life: I taughtHIV/STD Health Education for four years downat L.A. County Jail. After spending considerabletime face-to-face with some of our city’s mosthardened criminals and learning how to facethem without fear, it was then that I knew I wasprepared for a career in Hollywood.

If you could see one change happen inthe LGBT community in your lifetime, itwould be: That the LGBT community treats itsown with a little more kindness. Know thateveryone—regardless of their age, race, genderidentification, health status or political and reli-gious beliefs—has value. And while we’re at it,use your turn signals more, let other people outof elevators before you get on, don’t yell atfood servers, and for crying out loud, it’d benice to meet another gay who knows the differ-ence between your and you’re! Is that askingtoo much?

The best thing about life after 40: Notgiving a shit who knows your real age. I own it.I’m proud of it. And if you insist on categorizingme as an old troll, then, bitch, at least help meto the bathroom when I have to get up to peein the middle of the night!

RUSTY UPDEGRAFFAge: 51

Location: Los Angeles

If you could see one change happen in the LGBT com-munity in your lifetime, it would be: To see the LGBT com-munity come out of the friggin’ closet to everyone! Stand upand be counted for! You want the freedoms? Then work forthem! Love yourselves and don’t live in shame. Be proud to bewho you are and don’t let your family, friends or anyone makeyou take the back seat and everything will change for the better.

Passion in life: I think it would be comedy. I don’t think mostpeople know that about me. I confess, I was in the Groundlingsand I’ve done stand up at the Improv. Hi, I’m Rusty, and I’m acloset comedian.

The best thing about life after 40: What is so great aboutgetting old, turning gray, getting wrinkles, becoming invisibleand the slowing of your metabolism? Really?! Whoever says thatis lying, unless they have Oprah money. Most people that say,“Oh, 40 is fantastic and the best time of your life,”—they haveOprah money. They should just say “being crazy wealthy is offthe chain.” Got nothing to do with your age but it would surehelp. I need me some Oprah money.

FRANK HELMER Age: 40

Location: Los Angeles

Hometown: Wenatchee, Washington

What do you want to be when yougrow up?: A better (and more prolific)artist.

A defining moment in the life: Themoment I decided to live life and have acareer on my own terms and not bedefined by what people may think orexpect. Which coincided nicely with myfirst tattoos.

If you could go back in time to giveadvice to your younger self: Justrelax already.

If you could see one change happenin the LGBT community in your life-time, it would be: It’s astounding thatmarriage equality is a total possibility inmy lifetime. So when that happens Ihope to see marriage a respected thingentered into with intension and integrityand not frivolously.

Passion in life: Good food, greatfriends and stiff drinks.

The best thing about life after 40:Confidence and experience.

Age: 46

Location: Los Feliz

Hometown: Alton, Illinois

What do you want to be when you grow up?:Who says I have to grow up?

If you could go back in time to give advice toyour younger self: Be fearless in every choice youmake. To all people who make you doubt your dreamsbecause of their own insecurities, tell them to kiss yourbig black ass (or insert whatever color you need to).

A defining moment in the life: Becoming aparent. A legally married parent! And by married I

mean to a man!

If you could see one change happen in theLGBT community in your lifetime, it wouldbe: To make sure we take care of our growing sen-iors population. I am fortunate enough to teach anacting class for “seasoned” folks, and I find it to beone of the most rewarding things in my life.

The best thing about life after 40: Not havingto like everybody. Kidding—or am I? Seriously, it’srealizing every single moment is to be savored. Nothanging out in a life that makes you unhappy. It’snever too late to follow your bliss. Oh—and nothaving to like everybody.

MICHAEL SHEPPERD

WOODY STEVENSONAge: 43

Location: Highland Park

Hometown: El Segundo

What do you want to be when you grow up?:Steve Perry. I’ve been obsessed with him since i was 12and for the past six years I’ve been the lead singer of aJourney cover band called Infinity. But, since I probablywill never become him, I would kill just to meet him.

A defining moment in the life: Backpacking for amonth alone in India and meeting the love of my life JulieBreazeale, aka my LOML.

If you could go back in time to give advice to your younger self: I would have taken my talent waymore seriously and been more aggressive about making things happen. I also would have been more frugalwith money when I had some.

If you could see one change happen in the LGBT community in your lifetime, it would be: Addturquoise to the rainbow flag.

Passion in life: Singing, playing guitar in my other band the Black Tales, being a goof and making funof our dogs.

The best thing about life after 40: My monthly visitor seems to be moving out of state and I am now eligi-ble to be a member of C.O.O.L. (Coalition Of Older Lesbians).

ZINO MACALUSOAge: 42

Location: Santa Monica

Hometown: Montreal, Quebec, Canada

What do you want to be when you grow up?:If you had suggested 15 years ago that I would bedoing the most meaningful work of my life, repre-senting actors for the Screen Actors Guild, the pre-miere entertainment union in the world, I wouldhave called you crazy. But here I am.

A defining moment in the life: Foolishly, Ithought that my law school degree would make memore prepared for life’s challenges than my parents’modest education ever could. It was all ego. Itchanged my outlook on life when I learned thattheir knowledge of people and how to get on in theworld was just as important as anything I couldglean from a textbook or a classroom.

If you could go back in time to give advice toyour younger self: I’d say, don’t worry so much.You are going to get from point “A” to point “B”regardless of whether you worry about theinevitable bumps in the road or not. Enjoy the jour-ney a bit more.

If you could see one change happen in theLGBT community in your lifetime, it wouldbe: To make members of the LGBT Communitymore fully appreciate that their movement repre-sents the last bastion of civil rights struggle in thiscountry. Real change now, as in the past, will not beachievable solely through the courts or at the ballotbox. Regardless of your age, you need to take yourfight to the streets to change people’s opinions—even if it means changing one mind at a time.

The best thing about life after 40: The irrele-vant things that seem so life-consuming in yourtwenties and thirties just don’t seem to matter any-more. Now, an end-of-the-day walk on the beachwith my dog, Tiberius, is as satisfying to me asattending the trendiest hotspot in town used to be.My priorities are different and, I think, in a matureway.

HON. JOHN J. DURANAge: 49

Location: West Hollywood

Hometown: Los Angeles

What do you want to be when you grow up?:Well, either a member of Congress or a boytoy for JasonStackhouse on True Blood.

A defining moment in the life: Sitting next to thenSen. Barack Obama and telling him about the civilrights struggle that my community was engaged in—abattle for love.

If you could go back in time to give advice toyour younger self: Ugh. Get sober sooner. So muchtime wasted with hangovers, anxiety, “Jones-ing” andchasing a previous moment of intoxication that was nolonger attainable.

If you could see one change happen in the LGBTcommunity in your lifetime, it would be: Theacceptance that there is no “finish line” to our commonstruggle—only a journey to either participate in orignore.

Passion in life: Politics and law, love and affection,laughter and singing (and beautiful men).

The best thing about life after 40: No longer feel-ing self conscious, awkward, clumsy. Having weatheredthe storms of my 20s and 30s—possessing the self con-fidence of being my own man.

BRADLEY TUCKAge: 45

Location: Hollywood

Hometown: Gibraltar/London

What do you want to be when yougrow up?: When I grow up I want tohave forgotten the regrets.

If you could go back in time to giveadvice to your younger self: I’d say“lighten up, kid.”

If you could see one change happenin the LGBT community in your life-time, it would be: It would be lessemphasis on the shallow, hedonistic pursuitof beauty, and a greater emphasis on whatwe as a community can do for others, notjust in our community, but for those peo-ple all around that need help. Even thosethat don’t agree with our lifestyle.

The best thing about life after 40:Knowing that you're able to speak fromexperience, rather than relying on theexperience of others.

MICHAEL KRICFALUSIAge: 50

Location: West Hollywood

Hometown: Toronto, Ontario

What do you want to be when yougrow up?: I want to be just who I amnow, someone free to make my ownchoices and flexible enough to move onif something isn’t working.

Passion in Life: Besides my children,it’s surrounding myself with talented,creative people who help motivate me tocontinue pursuing my dreams.

If you could go back in time to giveadvice to your younger self: Followyour dreams right from the beginning.It’s a better life to have lived it doingwhat makes you happy than to havelived for others.

A defining moment in the life:The births of both my children.

The best thing about life after 40:You no longer feel the need to proveyourself over and over again. You alsorecognize that things don’t have to beone particular way.

Age: 40

Location: Hollywood Hills

Hometown: Colorado Springs, Colorado

Sign: Aries

Single or Taken: Single

What do you want to be whenyou grow up?: I’m a little bit of ajack-of-all-trades, I’ve had so manyjobs in my life. I’ve made furniture, Ipaint, I’ve redone kitchens, I’veredone bathrooms, I owned a restau-rant in Miami, I’ve cooked, modeledfor Armani, I did a lot of things andnow I’m finally doing what I wantand that’s Chinese medicine.

Accupuncture sounds intimidat-ing. How did you get into it?: I’vealways had migraine headaches. Theywere getting worse, like two days outof the week I couldn’t do anything,and I had to sit in a dark room. I’vealways been sensitive with drugs, I’mpretty holistic. Before I knew it sixmonths had passed without aheadache, a year, five years since I’vehad a migraine. That’s one part ofwhat got me there—the other part iswhen I met the Dalai Lama. He cameto do a teaching at this temple andhe wanted to greet the people whovolunteered. He comes in, greets eachone of us; he got to me and said,“You’re a student?” I said yes. Hesaid, “What are you studying?” I wasthinking, am I really gonna tell himthat I’m gonna study Chinese medi-cine? Then I thought, I’m not gonnalie to the guy. So I tell him and hestarts cracking up. And then hetouched my head and said “Tibetanmedicine is better.” But it was withtotal approval. Then I enrolled thenext day. Every job I had, I never hadinteraction with people. I never hadto touch people. But with accupunc-ture you have your hands on peopleand it opens you up. My cases areheavy duty—I have a whole gamut ofdiseases and issues from cancer toinfertility to insomnia, panic attacks,depression. Little kids who’ve losttheir hearing because they arestressed out, or perfectly healthy-

looking women who are getting readyto have a double mastectomy. It’sreally rewarding just to be able tohelp these people and hear their sto-ries.

You’re a cowboy? Yeehaw!: I’mnot a real cowboy, I guess I’m kindaa wannabe cowboy. I don’t wear cow-boy boots or my cowboy [outfit] any-where except two-stepping. Eventhough I’m from Colorado I neverlearned how to two-step. It’s thistotally L.A. thing. Yes, I’m very shy,but two-stepping has brought meout of my shell a little bit. I have noproblem getting out in the middleof the dancefloor and doing my linedances and two stepping and total-ly f-cking up.

A defining moment in the life:When my mom told me that I didn’thave to go to a church to be close toGod. She said, If you want to go tothe mountains or if you want to goto the basement, you can go wher-ever you want to be close to God. Donot feel you have to be in a churchwith some name on it to be close toGod. I studied a little bit of every-thing—it’s all saying the same thing,usually in a different book. Being ableto incorporate how to be a spiritualperson in this world is probably oneof the biggest things that’s affectedme consistently throughout my life.I’ll always bounce back to that.

If you could go back in time togive advice to your younger self:When I was a little kid I was not shyat all. I was very active and some-thing happened where I stopped. IfI could go back, I would say you don’thave to stop. That’s one of the thingsthat’s held me back the most. Maybewhat’s going to happen is the olderI get I’ll rediscover that little kid in meor maybe I’ll discover it in my ownkid, who knows.

The best thing about life after40: When you turn 40 you can actu-ally take what you learned when youwere in your 20s and 30s and actu-ally apply it.

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NOEL BUSBY

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