level one lesson 9 - wholebeing institute

Class 9 Notes

Whole Person Posi,ve Psychology Coaching Level One

Class 10 Pre-‐Work

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Lynda Wallace Course Leader

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What We Know: Posi,ve Psychology Research Refresher

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Adapted from Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness

1.  Enhanced sense of purpose and feeling of control over our lives.

2.  Increase in self-‐esteem and self-‐efficacy.

3.  EmoEonal boosts every Eme we make progress toward the goal.

4.  Greater sense of structure and meaning in our daily lives.

5.  Improvement in pracEcal life skills, such as focusing and using Eme effecEvely.

6.  Enhanced coping skills, and greater confidence in our ability to cope.

7.  Engagement with other people along the way toward the goal.

Benefits of CommiGed Goal Pursuit Happiness-‐Enhancing Goals

Intrinsic: Personally involving and rewarding rather than simply reflecEng what others approve of or desire for you.

Authen,c: Rooted in one’s lifelong, deeply held interests and core values.

Approach: Approaching a desirable outcome rather than simply retreaEng from an undesirable situaEon.

Harmonious: In balance with your other prioriEes.

Ac,vity-‐Based: Focused on doing something differently or doing something new, rather than simply changing your circumstances.

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Tal on Goals and High Expecta,ons

Tal on Goals Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain, nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain. Happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak. It’s not about the arrival, and at the same Eme, it’s not about having no arrival and aimlessly wandering. It’s about having a goal, an objecEve, a peak -‐-‐ and then, one step at a Eme, going toward that peak. Tal on High Expecta,ons Having high expectaEons contributes to our well-‐being and self-‐esteem even if those high expectaEons lead us to experience more failure. When we have high expectaEons and we cope, when we invest, take risks, work hard, put ourselves on the line – this is when we increase our self-‐esteem and happiness over Eme. It’s not when we lower expectaEons, when we avoid, when we don’t try.

Here’s why:

1.  Self-‐percepEon theory: If I see myself trying hard and pursuing my dream, I conclude that I am courageous, persistent, and the kind of person who is likely to succeed.

2.  The pain of the fear of failure is o\en worse than the pain of actual failure.

3.  More trying leads to more success.

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Coaching for Goal Clarity and CommiGed Goal Pursuit

Desire Hope Op,ons Commitment Ac,on Persistence

Richly imagine a desired future, and nurture the desire to move toward it.

Develop self-‐efficacy and grounded hope that posiEve change is possible.

Expand and explore a range of opEons for moving toward the desired future.

Commit to a clear goal for posiEve change, and an adaptable, big-‐picture plan to pursue that goal.

Immediately and consistently take manageable steps in pursuit of the goal. Build on what works.

Respond to setbacks and changes with resilience, self-‐compassion, and persistence.

Note: This journey is not nearly as linear as it appears.

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Coaching Objec,ve Desire Richly imagine a preferred future, and nurture the desire to move toward it.

Hurdles •  Fear of failure •  Concern about impact on others •  Fear of being overwhelmed, too much to do, too much change

Teaching Concepts •  Benefits of high expectaEons •  Benefits of soluEons focus

Coaching Tools •  Best Life exercise •  SoluEons focus: Miracle quesEon •  Peak experience stories •  AppreciaEve Inquiry into strengths, pleasures, values, resources, and what is working

•  Engaging the elephant: nurture an emoEonal connecEon to the vision of a preferred future

•  Small steps to make life beaer now


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Coaching Objec,ve Hope Develop self-‐efficacy and grounded hope that posiEve change is possible.

Hurdles •  Sense of powerlessness or inadequacy •  PracEcal roadblocks and concerns •  Dominant stories

Teaching Concepts •  Growth mindset •  DecepEve Brain Messages and neuroplasEcity

Coaching Tools •  Strengths Assessment •  Strengths stories: listen empathically and with a growth mindset, appreciaEng effort, risk-‐taking, learning from experience

•  AppreciaEve Inquiry into pleasures, values, resources •  Grounded posiEvity •  SoluEons focus: Where are you on the scale now? •  ExcepEons to dominant stories •  Commitment to take specific acEons that are contrary to the behavior prescribed by dominant stories


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Coaching Objec,ve Op,ons Expand and explore a range of opEons for moving toward the desired future.

Hurdles •  Problem focus •  Insufficient understanding of possible paths forward

Teaching Concepts Sources of addiEonal opEons/paths forward and informaEon about them: •  Self-‐inquiry •  Other people (who do you know who might know someone?) •  Research sources (internet, books, courses) •  Experience (finding ways to try new things)

Coaching Tools •  SoluEons focus: What would one step higher look like? •  AppreciaEve Inquiry into resources •  How can you build on what is working? •  How would you move forward if you knew you would succeed? •  Empathic listening •  Challenging basic assumpEons about what cannot change •  Client commitment to specific ways of researching addiEonal opEons/paths forward and informaEon about them


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Coaching Objec,ve Commitment Commit to a clear goal for posiEve change, and an adaptable, big-‐picture plan to pursue that goal.

Hurdles •  Fear of failure •  Reluctance to change

Teaching Concepts •  Benefits of failure •  Permission to change

Coaching Tools •  Envisioning success, and a path toward it: Imagine yourself in the future, looking back on this coaching experience. You conclude that the experience and what you did with it have been a great success. •  What does that future look like? •  What are you doing differently in that future? •  By when? •  How did you get there? •  What were some of the most important steps along the way? •  When did you achieve those most important steps?

•  Power of visuals, put the big-‐picture plan on a paper calendar •  Acknowledge and address fears •  Compare two futures to consider the risks of not acEng •  Systems thinking: whole person, family, life


Coaching Demonstra,on: Goal Commitment

My notes:

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Coaching Objec,ve Ac,on Immediately and consistently take manageable steps in pursuit of the goal. Build on what works.

Hurdles •  Uncertainty about what to do •  Discomfort moving out of the comfort zone •  SituaEonal press (other commitments, lack of support)

Teaching Concepts •  Benefits of commiaed goal pursuit •  The stretch zone

Coaching Tools •  SoluEons focus •  What will it look like/take to be one step higher •  What’s the first thing you would do toward that step? •  How would you do that, and when? •  It sounds like you’ve found a way to begin. •  Is that a commitment you want to make to yourself?

•  Empathic listening •  Daily commitment to acEon (e.g., 15 minutes/day, best Eme of day) •  If/then plans •  Accountability at every session, and perhaps between sessions •  CelebraEng both effort and progress •  AppreciaEve Inquiry into what is working •  Finding support outside of the coaching relaEonship


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Coaching Objec,ve Persistence Respond to setbacks and changes with resilience, self-‐compassion, and persistence.

Hurdles •  Setbacks •  ProcrasEnaEon •  Dominant stories •  SituaEonal press

Teaching Concepts •  Self-‐percepEon theory •  Self-‐compassion

Coaching Tools •  Gain psychological distance (1000 miles away or five years from now) and ask: What do you want to do about this setback?

•  Mental contrasEng (present/future, alternate futures) •  Tracking progress made, not just distance to go •  Acknowledgement of effort •  What is working that you can build on? •  What isn’t working that you can stop or change? Is a course correcEon in order?

•  Where can you find more support? •  Five-‐minute take-‐off •  C.A.R.E.: Catch, Acknowledge, Request, Encourage


Journal Reflec,on: Your Coaching Vision Please complete in advance of your peer prac,ce session.

In this journal reflecEon, you’ll develop a rough sketch of your coaching vision. Step one is opEonal. 1. OpEonal warm-‐up: Quickly write several ways to complete these sentence stems.

•  Some of the most valuable character strengths I bring to coaching are . . . •  Some of the most valuable knowledge I bring to coaching is . . . •  Some of the most valuable experience I bring to coaching is . . . •  Some of my most valuable coaching skills are . . .

2. Okay, those were opEonal; this one isn’t. Go ahead and take a few minutes to consider and respond to it. •  As a coach, I believe I can help (whom) to (what).

3. Now for your vision . . . Imagine yourself in the future, looking back on how you’ve put your strengths, knowledge, experience and skills to work as a coach, either as a means of livelihood or in other ways in your life and work. You conclude that what you’ve done has been a great success. What does that future look like?

COMPLETE PRIOR TO CLASS 10 (12/17) EsEmated Time: 30 minutes

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Please consider pulng together a one-‐minute (or so) summary of your coaching vision to share with the class on December 17. I will be very grateful if you choose to share your vision with us.

Thank you!

Peer Prac,ce Session Goal Commitment and Ac,on

In your journal reflecEon this week, you began to describe a goal for how you will put your strengths, knowledge, experience, and skills to work as a coach, either as a means of livelihood or in other ways in your life and work. In this session, you and your partner will coach each other through further commilng to and taking the next step in pursuit of that goal. Begin by asking your partner to describe the preferred future he or she wrote about in this week’s journal reflecEon. Then use the tools for coaching for commitment and acEon that you think might be most helpful to your partner. Here are some quesEons you might want to include.

Goal Commitment •  What are you doing differently in that future? •  By when? •  How did you get there? •  What were some of the most important steps along the way? •  When did you achieve those most important steps?

AcEon •  What will it look like/take to be one step closer to that future? •  What’s the first thing you would do toward that step? •  How would you do that, and when? •  Is that a commitment you want to make to yourself?

COMPLETE PRIOR TO CLASS 10 (12/17) EsEmated Time: 75 Minutes

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CHOICES AND

ACTIONS

COACHING RELATIONSHIP

SELF-‐INQUIRY

Partner Coaching Session Feedback Notes

Date: ___________________ My Partner: __________________________

Feedback to My Partner Three things I found helpful 1. 2. 3. Two construcEve suggesEons 1. 2.

Feedback from My Partner

Three things my partner found helpful 1. 2. 3. Two construcEve suggesEons 1. 2. My reflecEons on the feedback I received One intenEon for next week’s session

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level one lesson 9 - wholebeing institute

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