LESSON 8

PARENT AND SURROGATE PARENT AUTHORITIES

AND YOUTHS’ COMPLIANCE OR DEFIANCE

Under Construction

2. COMPLIANCE-DEFIANCE SCALE• 1. Explosive, angry, oppositional language, curse words, with extreme protestations and threats and

sometimes with physical violence.• 2. Extensive arguing and rebuttal in angry, loud, resentful tones; sometimes with the accompaniment of

accusations and negative attributions toward the authority. Refusing acknowledgment, complete lack of response with cold or sullen expression, stalking out with a sullen look. This is usually designed to provoke a rage response from the authority as a distraction or in order to extract an emotional cost so high that the parent will never make that command or prohibition again.

• 3. Long winded, aggressive arguments in opposition to the command or prohibition with threats of non-compliance or retaliation if coerced. Sometimes threats of self destruction or self mutilation or self defeating strategies when the subject feels that the threat is involves something the authority eagerly desires for the welfare of the child. "If you make me comply in spite of the fact that I make this self defeating threat, that is proof that you do not care and you are a phony and a bad, uncaring person."

• 4. Trying to manipulate by giving false excuses, veiled threats, resorting to pleas based on self pity and emotional pain, protestations of past inequities, demanding unreasonable trade offs and concessions, promising compliance after a delay or at a later time, especially with no past record of reliability in this regard.

• 5. Offering opposing arguments based on unreasonableness, lack of community consensus, accusations of favoritism, questioning parental right to exercise authority in this case, etc., in order to justify non-compliance. Protests that if only the parent would not ask, demand or prohibit, it would get done, that giving the order results in resentment and resistance that otherwise would not be there.

COMPLIANCE-DEFIANCE SCALE

• 6. Appealing to lack of reciprocity and parental inconsistency in order to invalidate parent's right to command or prohibit in this case. Requesting that parent demonstrate give and take or equality in this case before one complies. Objecting to the manner in which the command or prohibition was given.

• 7. Indicating personal distaste or psychological handicap as a grounds for being excused from the particular duty or restriction. Giving half-hearted objections, expressing annoying statements of resentment and complaints with whining. Endless, unreasonable bargaining designed to irritate and wear the parent down.

• 8. Requesting rational, fair negotiation concerning the what, where, when, and how of the command or prohibition.

• 9. Acknowledging the command/prohibition and suggesting that it will be done but also suggesting negotiation on this issue at `sometime' in the future.

• 10. Conveying the idea that one always does as told, always does one's duty, and therefore does not need to be told. Suggesting that one be given trust and respect for one's record of responsibility.

COMPLIANCE-DEFIANCE SCALE

• 11. Indicating a willingness to go along with the requirements of the authority. Asking for specifics about the requirement.

• 12. Indicating pride and pleasure in complying and serving and also soliciting details about the manner and specifics about the requirement.

• 13. Statement of a strong interest and desire to please and an interest in the job. Expressing a desire to do a good job. Expressing a desire to prove themselves, their competence, or their desire for approval.

• 14. Statement of extreme enthusiasm and commitment to the authority and a desire to make them happy, to be worthy of their being selected to fulfill the requirement or to conform, usually with elated affect.

• 15. Effusive statement of what an honor and pleasure it is to serve the authority, that no request is unreasonable or would be refused.

COMPLIANCE-DEFIANCE SCALE•Levels of responses of compliance or defiance to commands or prohibitions are listed on the following pages. Select the compliance-defiance responses that occur in your situations. Describe the situations or occasions in which these responses are evoked. Describe the persons involved in these situations and their behavior. Indicate frequencies of occurrence of particular levels of compliance or defiance. Add comments or your own version that will help clarify what is happening in this interaction.

________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________