lesson 4 peer review: revising & editing - for...
TRANSCRIPT
Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014
Lesson 4 – Peer Review: Revising & Editing
Grade/Age Level This lesson is intended for Grade 10 students (ages 15 to 16) in a regular
classroom setting.
Subject Area This lesson is designed for an English-Language Arts 10-2 class.
Length This lesson will take place in two 80 minute blocks.
Lesson Description In this lesson the learners will familiarize themselves with two aspects of the writing process: revising and editing. This lesson shows students how to
complete the third and fourth steps of the writing process as well. Here they will learn 1) how to peer edit effectively (using comment coaching) and 2)
how to improve and correct a rough draft until it becomes a polished piece of writing.
Provincial Learning Outcomes (Alberta Government) 4.2 Improve thoughtfulness, effectiveness and correctness of
communication 4.2.1: Enhance thought and understanding and support and detail
Identify controlling idea for clarity & purpose Review accuracy, specificity, & precision of details intended to
support controlling idea & add details as needed to provide sufficient
support Assess own critical/analytical responses for consistency,
completeness and relevance of evidence & strengthen reasoning to provide reliable & pertinent evidence & make effective arguments
4.2:2: Enhance organization
Assess beginning of a text in progress & revise it when needed to establish purpose
Review organizational components of text in progress—paragraphs, scenes, steps in process & revise as needed
Review closing of a text in progress & revise it to strengthen
relationship to purpose & establish developed understanding Assess relationships among controlling idea, supporting ideas &
supporting details & strengthen relationship as needed Assess transitions & transitional devices & revise as needed to
strengthen coherence
Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014
Instructional Objectives Assess and revise various transitions or transitional devices in essay
Assess essay (quality) and revise as needed based on purpose and/or peer feedback
Develop and deliver a five paragraph essay
Instructional Procedures Lesson Set – Transitions: Connecting Words Start the lesson by looking at what transitions words are as well as their
purpose. Project the Transitions Graphic on the SMARTboard. Ask students what transition words are, and why writers should use them. This should help them recall prior knowledge from Grade 9. When done, have
them view the video: Powerful Transitions (on YouTube). This video answers the two questions asked above. When the video is done ask students to
discuss the question again. Examine how “close” they came to answering the question the first time … The video also emphasizes the “transitions” used in the graphic.
Next, access the essay titled: “The Hazards of Moviegoing” (sic)
http://goo.gl/NJXeJY. This essay has been placed on a Google document. Find at least 4 “transition words” and record them. Which transitions are effective? Which ones could be improved and why? Suggest “changes”. Refer
to the Transitions Graphic or the Smart Words website for help. FYI: More questions have been added to the Google document itself.
Once students have recorded their answers and suggestions on paper, give
them time to “compare” their responses to their classmates. Lastly, ask students to examine their own essay for transitions. Have them
add and/or improve the transitional words or phrases in their paper. Students may use the Transitions Graphic as well as the Smart Word website
to help them. They must add at least 4 transitions to their paper. These words should be highlighted and shown to the teacher when done.
Techniques and Activities: Peer Review What are the 3 Steps to Comment Coaching?
To begin this step, the students will view/read the Google Presentation on comment coaching. After reviewing / discussing the information provided, students will test their knowledge by taking the Socrative Space Race Quiz.
This online quiz allows students to work in teams to win the race. The team who “goes” the fastest (by answering the most questions correctly) wins.
Socrative Space Race Quiz (Multiple Choice Questions) Students may use the Socrative App or visit m.socrative.com online in order
to participate in the quiz.
My Room Number is 462087.
Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014
Quiz Questions: What are the three steps to comment coaching? Why should you point out positive elements first?
An important aspect of comment coaching is to help your partner improve h/her writing. What is the best thing you can do to ensure
your partner improves h/her writing? It is not your job to “fix” your peer’s paper. However, there are four
things you can point out to your partner in the last step of comment
coaching. What are these four things? FYI: Answers are included on an Excel document that is uploaded to my teacher
account on Socrative. Socrative supplies an Excel template that teachers use to
make their quizzes.
Real Time Comment Coaching Activity (Revising stage) After the quiz is finished have the students pair up with a peer editing
partner to complete the Comment Coaching Activity. Each student will share their rough draft (Google document) with their partner. Remind students to choose the right sharing feature (can comment). The partners may sit side
by side but they are not to talk during this activity. All comments are to be made on their partner’s rough draft using the Comment feature in Google
documents. Using the first two steps to comment coaching as a guide, peers should focus on specific details in order to help their partner clarify
meaning and strengthen the paper’s argument/details. They should focus their attention on the following: ideas (thesis and main points in each body paragraph), organization (essay structure), and evidence or supporting
details (PEEL). These items are highlighted on the Writing Checklist / Menu Graphic. Students may refer to this graphic to make sure they examine the
right details in their peer’s paper. Their Expository Essay Tutorial Rubric can also be used to guide students through the comment coaching exercise.
Modelling the 3 Steps to Comment Coaching Before the students start the actual comment coaching activity, the teacher
will model “how to comment coach” with a sample essay. The class will help the teacher “practice” the following components: compliments, suggestions and corrections. Once this is done the students will complete the activity on
their own (with their peer’s paper). The sample essay is: Training Paper #6.
Revise Essay Based on Peer Feedback (Revising stage) After providing feedback to their peers, each student will revise major sections of their rough draft. If evidence is missing – add it in. If something
doesn’t support the main idea – take it out. If something doesn’t make sense make it make sense! This stage is probably the most important next to the
Editing stage. It’s very important that students make serious changes to their rough draft at this point. Each writer should take their peer’s feedback seriously. At the same time, their peer editing partner should also take their
comment coaching seriously. They should avoid giving an “automatic stamp of approval”! If their partner isn’t thorough, the writer will not improve!
Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014
Peer Review: Editing Stage [Block 2] Review last day’s lesson on “revising and comment coaching”. Link last day’s lesson to today’s lesson by comparing the “revising and editing” stages.
Examine the Writing Checklist / Menu Graphic, and discuss this question: What is the difference between the two stages? Today’s lesson will focus on
the Editing stage. Using their peer editing partner from the Revising stage (last day’s lesson),
have the students share their rough drafts (via Google Drive) again. Each partner should closely examine the writing in order to find: poor sentence
structure, spelling, punctuation and grammar errors. The peer editing partner isn’t supposed to fix the other writer’s errors – he
or she simply points out the errors using the highlighting legend below: Highlight sentence fragments and/or run-ons in light blue
Highlight spelling errors with yellow Highlight punctuation errors with a light pink Highlight grammar errors with a light green
WHICH colour shows up the most?
In order to fix these errors visit the Editing Checklist section of the following site (please scroll down to find it): http://goo.gl/CAzK0R . Have students
examine what the site calls “Personal Grammatical Issue”. Which types of errors do they need to learn more about? 1) Sentence errors (fragments and run-ons)
2) Spelling (rules) 3) Grammar (verb tense, subject-verb agreement, plurals & possessives)
Each learner should study the areas that apply to their writing, and make corrections based on their highlighted errors and what they learned from the
website.
Lesson Closure – Good Copy / Publishing Stage After revising and editing their paper, have the learners complete a good copy of their essay and share it with the teacher using Google Drive /
Documents / Submission Form.
Adaptations for Special Learners The EA will guide the ELA10-4 students through the transition activity.
Having access to the Transition Graphic and Smart Word website should be sufficient. They should be able to identify the transitions and add them to their essay.
The Space Race Quiz can still be played by the ELA10-4 students. They could
compete against each other (in a different Socrative room), or they can be assigned to different teams (not by ability) and play that way. Either way, they will play!
Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014
For the revision / editing activities, the ELA10-4 students could be assigned a specialty. For instance, a student who is very good at identifying the PEEL method in the body paragraphs could comment coach each 10-4s “body”
paragraphs (eg. evidence or supporting details). While another student could focus on highlighting sentence errors and / or punctuation errors during the
editing stage. Yet another could focus on introductions and conclusions, and so on. By divvying up specific jobs, the learners will not feel overwhelmed. Each editor could also be given a catch of the day limit … Eg. Find 4 sentence
errors only (run-ons / fragments) and highlight them in each person’s paper; OR Find 5 spelling errors and highlight them in each person’s paper.
If a student is really struggling with this process (revising or editing) the EA can work one on one with that particular student. The two of them could take
turns comment coaching on another student’s paper.
Supplemental Activities If students require further understanding of what transitions are and why
they are important, they may watch the Flocabulary video on Transitions. This video explores the history of video games but highlights specific transitions throughout.
Assessment Formal
Good Copy of Essay (use rubric listed below to evaluate essay)
Informal Rough draft – comment coaching: peer revising and editing process Rough draft – transition words or phrases
Learner Products Peer Review – comment coaching Google document (rough draft) Good Copy of Essay
Lesson Resources Chromebooks / PC Lab
Transitions Graphic: http://goo.gl/SJuvY1 Powerful Transitions video: http://goo.gl/ATRonT
The Hazards of Moviegoing (sic): http://goo.gl/M04nBK (original site) The Hazards of Moviegoing (sic): http://goo.gl/NJXeJY (Google document)
Flocabulary Transitions video: http://goo.gl/z2pCaH Smart Words (Transition Words): http://goo.gl/wWfQzE 3 Steps to Comment Coaching: http://goo.gl/XC1veB
Comment Commenting Demo Essay: http://goo.gl/gh6Np0 (Training Paper #6)
Socrative: http://www.socrative.com/
Writing Menu / Checklist Graphic: http://goo.gl/SEyZEx Editing Checklist: http://goo.gl/CAzK0R (scroll down) Expository Essay Tutorial Rubric (handout)
*Lesson plan template adapted from: Preparing to Use Technology: A Practical Guide for
Technology Integration.