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  • Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014

    Lesson 4 Peer Review: Revising & Editing

    Grade/Age Level This lesson is intended for Grade 10 students (ages 15 to 16) in a regular classroom setting.

    Subject Area This lesson is designed for an English-Language Arts 10-2 class. Length This lesson will take place in two 80 minute blocks.

    Lesson Description In this lesson the learners will familiarize themselves with two aspects of the writing process: revising and editing. This lesson shows students how to

    complete the third and fourth steps of the writing process as well. Here they will learn 1) how to peer edit effectively (using comment coaching) and 2)

    how to improve and correct a rough draft until it becomes a polished piece of writing.

    Provincial Learning Outcomes (Alberta Government) 4.2 Improve thoughtfulness, effectiveness and correctness of

    communication 4.2.1: Enhance thought and understanding and support and detail

    Identify controlling idea for clarity & purpose Review accuracy, specificity, & precision of details intended to

    support controlling idea & add details as needed to provide sufficient

    support Assess own critical/analytical responses for consistency,

    completeness and relevance of evidence & strengthen reasoning to provide reliable & pertinent evidence & make effective arguments

    4.2:2: Enhance organization

    Assess beginning of a text in progress & revise it when needed to establish purpose

    Review organizational components of text in progressparagraphs, scenes, steps in process & revise as needed

    Review closing of a text in progress & revise it to strengthen

    relationship to purpose & establish developed understanding Assess relationships among controlling idea, supporting ideas &

    supporting details & strengthen relationship as needed Assess transitions & transitional devices & revise as needed to

    strengthen coherence

  • Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014

    Instructional Objectives Assess and revise various transitions or transitional devices in essay

    Assess essay (quality) and revise as needed based on purpose and/or peer feedback

    Develop and deliver a five paragraph essay

    Instructional Procedures Lesson Set Transitions: Connecting Words Start the lesson by looking at what transitions words are as well as their

    purpose. Project the Transitions Graphic on the SMARTboard. Ask students what transition words are, and why writers should use them. This should help them recall prior knowledge from Grade 9. When done, have

    them view the video: Powerful Transitions (on YouTube). This video answers the two questions asked above. When the video is done ask students to

    discuss the question again. Examine how close they came to answering the question the first time The video also emphasizes the transitions used in the graphic.

    Next, access the essay titled: The Hazards of Moviegoing (sic) http://goo.gl/NJXeJY. This essay has been placed on a Google document. Find at least 4 transition words and record them. Which transitions are effective? Which ones could be improved and why? Suggest changes. Refer

    to the Transitions Graphic or the Smart Words website for help. FYI: More questions have been added to the Google document itself.

    Once students have recorded their answers and suggestions on paper, give

    them time to compare their responses to their classmates. Lastly, ask students to examine their own essay for transitions. Have them

    add and/or improve the transitional words or phrases in their paper. Students may use the Transitions Graphic as well as the Smart Word website

    to help them. They must add at least 4 transitions to their paper. These words should be highlighted and shown to the teacher when done.

    Techniques and Activities: Peer Review What are the 3 Steps to Comment Coaching?

    To begin this step, the students will view/read the Google Presentation on comment coaching. After reviewing / discussing the information provided, students will test their knowledge by taking the Socrative Space Race Quiz.

    This online quiz allows students to work in teams to win the race. The team who goes the fastest (by answering the most questions correctly) wins.

    Socrative Space Race Quiz (Multiple Choice Questions) Students may use the Socrative App or visit m.socrative.com online in order

    to participate in the quiz.

    My Room Number is 462087.


  • Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014

    Quiz Questions: What are the three steps to comment coaching? Why should you point out positive elements first?

    An important aspect of comment coaching is to help your partner improve h/her writing. What is the best thing you can do to ensure

    your partner improves h/her writing? It is not your job to fix your peers paper. However, there are four

    things you can point out to your partner in the last step of comment

    coaching. What are these four things? FYI: Answers are included on an Excel document that is uploaded to my teacher

    account on Socrative. Socrative supplies an Excel template that teachers use to

    make their quizzes.

    Real Time Comment Coaching Activity (Revising stage) After the quiz is finished have the students pair up with a peer editing

    partner to complete the Comment Coaching Activity. Each student will share their rough draft (Google document) with their partner. Remind students to choose the right sharing feature (can comment). The partners may sit side

    by side but they are not to talk during this activity. All comments are to be made on their partners rough draft using the Comment feature in Google

    documents. Using the first two steps to comment coaching as a guide, peers should focus on specific details in order to help their partner clarify

    meaning and strengthen the papers argument/details. They should focus their attention on the following: ideas (thesis and main points in each body paragraph), organization (essay structure), and evidence or supporting

    details (PEEL). These items are highlighted on the Writing Checklist / Menu Graphic. Students may refer to this graphic to make sure they examine the

    right details in their peers paper. Their Expository Essay Tutorial Rubric can also be used to guide students through the comment coaching exercise.

    Modelling the 3 Steps to Comment Coaching Before the students start the actual comment coaching activity, the teacher

    will model how to comment coach with a sample essay. The class will help the teacher practice the following components: compliments, suggestions and corrections. Once this is done the students will complete the activity on

    their own (with their peers paper). The sample essay is: Training Paper #6.

    Revise Essay Based on Peer Feedback (Revising stage) After providing feedback to their peers, each student will revise major sections of their rough draft. If evidence is missing add it in. If something

    doesnt support the main idea take it out. If something doesnt make sense make it make sense! This stage is probably the most important next to the

    Editing stage. Its very important that students make serious changes to their rough draft at this point. Each writer should take their peers feedback seriously. At the same time, their peer editing partner should also take their

    comment coaching seriously. They should avoid giving an automatic stamp of approval! If their partner isnt thorough, the writer will not improve!

  • Nona Barker | EdTech 506 |Spring 2014

    Peer Review: Editing Stage [Block 2] Review last days lesson on revising and comment coaching. Link last days lesson to todays lesson by comparing the revising and editing stages.

    Examine the Writing Checklist / Menu Graphic, and discuss this question: What is the difference between the two stages? Todays lesson will focus on

    the Editing stage. Using their peer editing partner from the Revising stage (last days lesson),

    have the students share their rough drafts (via Google Drive) again. Each partner should closely examine the writing in order to find: poor sentence

    structure, spelling, punctuation and grammar errors. The peer editing partner isnt supposed to fix the other writers errors he

    or she simply points out the errors using the highlighting legend below: Highlight sentence fragments and/or run-ons in light blue

    Highlight spelling errors with yellow Highlight punctuation errors with a light pink Highlight grammar errors with a light green

    WHICH colour shows up the most?

    In order to fix these errors visit the Editing Checklist section of the following site (please scroll down to find it): http://goo.gl/CAzK0R . Have students

    examine what the site calls Personal Grammatical Issue. Which types of errors do they need to learn more about? 1) Sentence errors (fragments and run-ons)

    2) Spelling (rules) 3) Grammar (verb tense, subject-verb agreement, plurals & possessives)

    Each learner should study the areas that apply to their writing, and make corrections based on their highlighted errors and what they learned from the


    Lesson Closure Good Copy / Publishing Stage After revising and editing their paper, have the learners complete a good copy of their essay and share it with the teacher using Google Drive /

    Documents / Submission Form.

    Adaptations for Special Learners The EA will guide the ELA10-4 students through the transition activity.

    Having access to the Trans