learning to say how you feel tg - ket education · pdf filethe program deals with many of the...

1 videocassette . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 minutes

Learningto Say

How You Feel

Copyright 1995Sunburst Visual Media,

a division of Global Video, LLC

ISBN 0-7805-4200-2

Executive Producer: Jean Robbins

Producer: Susan Eikov Green

Video Production: Deerfield Video ProductionsHawthorne, NY

Teacher's Guide: Noreen O'Mahoney

TEACHER'S NOTES

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2

Learning Objectives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4

Summary of the Program. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5

Questions for Discussion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9

Suggested Activities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12

Handouts 1-5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

Bibliography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30

Script . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34

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TEACHER'S NOTES

INTRODUCTION

Feelings affect every aspect of people's lives––howthey see themselves, how they see the rest of the world, andhow the world reacts to them.

For middle-schoolers, experiencing a variety ofnew and complex emotions, feelings are the basic buildingblocks of their attitudes as well as predictors of theirbehavior. Feelings are at the core of their personalities anddetermine the uses they will make of their aptitudes andabilities. A youngster's self-esteem, choice of friends,ability to get along with others, and success in school alldepend on feelings.

Yet middle-schoolers often lack the basic vocabu-lary necessary to effectively communicate their innermostfeelings. They rely on broad, general words such as "good"and "bad" to express a variety of subtle feelings. Youngteens do not realize that the more precise they can be innaming their feelings, the better able they will be to under-stand and communicate them and the less likely others willbe to misunderstand them.

All too often middle-schoolers find themselvesembroiled in fights and arguments caused by a misinterpre-tation of their feelings and behaviors. Youngsters need tobe reminded that others cannot be sensitive to their feelingsunless they know what they really are.

Learning to Say How You Feel helps middle-schoolers explore and identify their feelings in words andactions. It shows youngsters the importance of naming their

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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: • Scottie says it's not unusual to think you feel one

way when you really feel something else. Do youagree? Why or why not?

• Have you ever missed out on doing something youwanted to do because you didn't recognize your realfeelings?

THE END

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feelings, accepting responsibility for them and sharingthem with others. And it explains that people cannot beexpected to react appropriately to feelings that are notverbalized.

The program deals with many of the difficultiesyoungsters encounter––misplaced feelings, repressed feel-ings, denied feelings. It shows the negative consequencesof keeping feelings inside and the positive outcomes whenfeelings are acknowledged. And it shows how expressingfeelings––to oneself and others––can help solve problemsand head off trouble.

In addition, Learning to Say How You Feel dealswith a situation common to many middle-schoolers: con-vincing themselves that they do not like a new and unfamil-iar experience, when in fact what they are really feeling isfear. This underlying fear––of failure or looking foolish––often prevents youngsters from taking a chance and explor-ing a new experience. Learning to get past the fear byacknowledging and accepting it, encourages students todiscover activities they might really enjoy.

Learning to Say How You Feel encouragesmiddle-schoolers to think about their feelings in a safe andsupportive environment. The accompanying materials in-cluded in this guide provide individual and group activitiesso that students can examine feelings in a variety of situa-tions. The activities, classroom handouts and questions fordiscussion are thought provoking and allow for creativity.They offer an atmosphere for nurturing an awareness of theimportant role feelings play in our lives.

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SCOTTIE:Well, when I said that I really meant it. It wasn't anexcuse. I thought I hated computers. But what itturns out is that what I really was, was afraid.

GREG:Afraid of a computer? What'd you think was goingto happen? It was going to attack you or something.

SCOTTIE:No. Not that kind of afraid. I was afraid all the kidswould be real smart––you know real computernerds––and here'd be me, Mr. Know-nothing. Butit turns out they're not much smarter than me.

GREG:If that's how you really felt, I don't get why youdidn't know it.

SCOTTIE:I guess it's not that unusual. You think you feel onething, but it really turns out that you feel somethingelse.

GREG:And you don't realize it, I guess.

SCOTTIE:Yeah. Whatever it was, I'm glad I didn't drop out ofthe class. Come on, let's go to the pool.

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LEARNING OBJECTIVES

This program is designed to help students:

• identify and name their feelings.

• accept ownership and responsibility for their feel-ings.

• learn the value of communicating and sharing theirfeelings with others.

• develop strategies for expressing feelings throughconversation and action.

• enhance their feeling of self-esteem.

• respect the feelings of others.

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I really don't want to quit. Hey, you know what, Ifeel better already.

* * *SCOTTIE:

Hi guys! What's up?

JILL:You sure look happy. Did you get out of that class?

SCOTTIE:Nope, I'm still there.

JILL:How's it going?

SCOTTIE:We're doing this really cool project on CD-ROM.

JILL:Wait a second. I thought you said that class wouldbe torture for you?

SCOTTIE:I was wrong. It happens.

JILL:Well I'm glad it worked out for you. See you at thepool.

GREG:So what changed? I mean today computers aregreat, but a few days ago you said you hated them.

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SUMMARY OF THE PROGRAM

At a party at the town pool, Amy's friends Jill andShari urge her to speak to Billy Randolph, the boy Amywants to invite to the graduation dance. Reluctantly, Amystarts towards him, but then overhears Billy telling hisfriends he'd rather stay home than go to the dance with her.

Humiliated, Amy tells Jill and Shari that she doesn'tfeel well and goes home. She tells her mother that she leftbecause the party was "stupid," but her mother senses thatsomething is wrong. When she presses Amy to say how shefeels, Amy says she feels "bad." Her mother asks her to bemore specific, saying "bad" doesn't tell her, or Amy, any-thing about Amy's real feelings. But Amy insists she feels"bad."

The next day, Jill and Amy have a fight when Amy,still upset, abruptly backs out of a promise to go with Jill fora haircut. Jill storms off. Amy complains to her mother thatJill's lack of sympathy means she's a bad friend. Her motherasks if Amy told Jill how she feels. Amy says that Jill shouldbe able to tell, but her mother points out that Jill can't knowAmy's feelings unless Amy tells her. When Amy says shedoesn't want to talk about what happened, her mother saysthat she doesn't have to. She only needs to tell Jill how shefeels.

Amy catches up with Jill and explains that some-thing happened at the party to make her feel hurt and that'swhy she left early and is in such a bad mood. Jill apologizesfor yelling and says that if she had known how Amy felt, shewould have acted differently. Amy concedes that Jill

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DOUG:She makes me feel confused.

SHARI:So tell her that.

DOUG:Oh sure. How's this sound? "Hello Emily, youmake me feel like a fool." I don't think so.

SHARI:Okay, maybe not. Let's think of something else.

DOUG:Why don't I just tell her to lighten up.

SHARI:That sounds kind of nasty. Don't you think youshould be nicer?

DOUG:I suppose I could just explain that it's hard for meto follow what she wants when she gives me a wholelong list of things to do.

SHARI:Yeah, and you know it never hurts to ask if you don'tunderstand something.

DOUG:You're right. I mean there's nothing wrong withtelling her how I really feel. Okay, I'll give it a try.

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couldn't have known since she never told her. Their fightresolved, Amy goes off with Jill for the haircut. (Theprogram pauses for discussion questions.)

A group of middle-schoolers, who will be volun-teers for the summer at the Nature Center, are greeted bytwo counselors, Hector and Emily. Emily takes a group tothe farm. As they walk into the chicken coops she tells thevolunteers that they must be sure to close the gate wheneverthey go into or out of the area.

At the end of the day, Jill, Doug, and Greg talk aboutwhat a good time they had, but Shari is less than enthusias-tic. The next day when Hector notices that she's unhappy,Shari admits she's disappointed––she doesn't like outdoorwork and had expected to work in the photo studio at themuseum. Hector promises to rectify the problem and tellsShari how glad he is that she spoke up instead of keeping herfeelings inside. He then reminds Keith and Greg about afight they had the summer before which could have beenavoided if the boys had expressed their feelings.

In a flashback, we see what caused the fight: Greg ismad at Keith for calling him names and Keith is mad at Gregfor bossing him around and giving him all the hard jobs todo. When Greg explains that he gave Keith the harder workbecause he's bigger and stronger and never objected, Keithadmits that he was bothered and so to get even he picked onGreg and tried to embarrass him. Once each boy under-stands how the other feels, they are able to put theirdifferences aside and work together.

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I did wrong and checking up on me. She alwaysmakes me feel like a loser.

SHARI:Have you been messing up?

DOUG:Sometimes, but that's because of her! It seems likeshe tells me to do a million things at once! I'mdefinitely quitting.

SHARI:You don't really want to do that?

DOUG:No. But I can't take the way she treats me.

SHARI:So bored's not the right word.

DOUG:I guess not.

SHARI:Are you mad?

DOUG:Nah, I don't like what's she's doing, but I wouldn'tcall it mad exactly.

SHARI:Well?

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Hector says that the fight is an example of whathappens when you keep your feelings inside––they don't goaway, they just come out somewhere else. As he walksShari to the museum, he explains that saying how youfeel––especially if you're feeling angry––helps to head offtrouble and solve problems before they get out of control.(The program pauses for discussion questions.)

The next day, Doug, Jill, and Greg bump into theirfriend Scottie, who's very upset because his parents aremaking him take a summer school computer class. He saysit's going to be "torture." When Scottie arrives for the firstday of the class still sure he's going to hate it, he's sur-prised to see that the other kids know as little as he doesabout CD-ROM.

Back at the Nature Center, Doug and some othervolunteers are working on the farm with Emily. As theypass from one area to another, Emily notices that Doug hasleft a gate open. She chastises him and then asks him to runan errand for her. She speaks very quickly, giving him lotsof instructions, all the while checking to see if he has closedthe gates they pass through.

At the end of the day, Shari tells Doug how happyshe is with her new assignment, but Doug says he's "bored"and not coming back. So Shari says he should ask to dosomething else like she did. When Doug replies that there'snothing else he'd rather do than work on the farm, Shariquestions how he can be bored. And she relates a lesson shelearned from Hector: it isn't enough to know how you feel,you have to name your feelings.

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SHARI:Ask if you can do something else.

DOUG:Nah, I like what I'm doing.

SHARI:Then how can you be bored? Are you sure that'swhat you mean?

DOUG:Maybe bored's not right.

SHARI:Then what is it? Listen, Hector helped me a lot. Hesaid sometimes it isn't enough to know how youfeel, you have to name it.

DOUG:Okay. Promise you won't tell anyone?

SHARI:Come on. We've been friends for what…sincekindergarten? What is it?

DOUG:It's Emily.

SHARI:Emily? She seems so nice.

DOUG:Not to me. She's always on my case telling me what

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Doug admits that his problem is with Emily. Shemakes him feel confused and "like a loser." Once heidentifies his real feelings, he and Shari try to find a way tosolve his problem. They finally decide that Doug will speakto Emily and tell her how he feels.

At the end of the week, all the kids meet at the pool.Jill and Greg are surprised when Scottie says that he'shaving a great time in his computer class. Greg asks whatchanged and Scottie admits that when he said he hatedcomputers he honestly thought that was how he felt. Onlylater did he realize that he was really feeling unsure ofhimself. Once he saw that others were on his level, heregained his confidence and now is having a great time.And he's very glad that he didn't back out of taking the class.(The program pauses for discussion questions.)

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EMILY:Ramos and Marcus, when you finish that feeder dothe other one. Are you girls finished with the water?Come on, then. Let's go. Make sure that gate'sclosed. I'll do it. Where was I? Oh, the main office.After you get Mrs. Beardsley to sign the papers, takethem to the main supply house––over there. Yougot this?

DOUG:I guess so.

EMILY:Give the papers to Jim––he's in charge of supplies—you know who he is, right? And make sure he signsthem, too. We don't want any goof ups. Here. Besure to get both signatures—Mrs. Beardsley andJim. Got it?

* * *SHARI:

Doug, wait up. I feel so great. This afternoon wasgreat. How about you?

DOUG:I don't think I'm going to come back tomorrow.

SHARI:What?

DOUG:I'm fed up. It's really a bore.

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QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

(Questions 1-6 appear on screen in the video)

(1) How does naming your feelings help you under-stand them?

(2) Jill says she wouldn't have gotten mad if she knewhow Amy felt. How can saying how you feel changethe way someone treats you?

(3) What can happen if you keep your feelings insideand don't express them? What might have happenedif Shari hadn't said how she felt?

(4) Do you think telling someone how you feel is a goodway to handle angry feelings? Why or why not?

(5) Scottie says it's not unusual to think you feel oneway, when you really feel something else. Do youagree? Why or why not?

(6) Have you ever missed out on doing something youwanted to do because you didn't recognize your realfeelings?

(7) The program opens with the young teens from thevideo describing a variety of feelings. What otherwords descriptive of feelings can students add to thelist? Do students find themselves saying "I feel bad"or "I feel good" rather than describing their feelingsmore fully? Explain why.

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SCOTTIE:Hey, I guess these guys don't know anymore aboutCD-ROM than I do.

MR. BARROWS:So everyone's just about at the same level. Great!Come on up. I have a disk for everyone. Take oneback to your seat and we'll get started.

* * *EMILY:

Doug, did you get all the eggs?

DOUG:I think so.

EMILY:There are two you missed up there. You have to bemore careful. Get them and let's go. Doug! Youforgot the gate. Remember what I said? Howimportant that is? It's very important. Really.

DOUG:I'm sorry.

EMILY:Oh, I almost forgot. These papers have to go up tothe main office. Would you take them up to Mrs.Beardsley?

DOUG:Sure.

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(8) Amy describes the pool party as "stupid" and latertalks about Jill wanting to get her "stupid" hair cut."How would students define "stupid"? Do they agreethat it is a useful word to describe one's feelingsabout things? Why or why not?

(9) Amy's mother points out that "bad" can mean manythings. What are some of the feelings that the wordmight describe? Discuss why these words give amore accurate picture of feelings.

(10) Amy broke a promise to Jill and then refused to saywhy. What kinds of feelings do students think Amywas having at the time? Can students recall occa-sions when someone did the same thing to them?Ask them to describe how they felt and what hap-pened.

(11) Amy's mother tells her that people can't read hermind, that she needs to tell Jill how she feels. Amythinks that Jill only needed to look at her to knowhow she felt. Do students agree with Amy's reason-ing? Why or why not?

(12) What reasons did Shari give for not speaking upabout working in the photo studio? What did shemean by not wanting to make "a big deal"? Whatwords might describe her feelings when she wasn'tspeaking up? What words might describe her feel-ings after she did?

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SCOTTIE:Hey, why don't you rub it in. I've got to go. It's mylast day of freedom. Tomorrow starts ComputerHell.

GREG:Hey, we'll see you at the pool over the weekend.

* * *MR. BARROWS:

Welcome. I'm Mr. Barrows. I hope you're alllooking forward to this course.

SCOTTIE:About as much as getting run over.

MR. BARROWS:Did someone say something? Well, we'll be doingsome exciting things. Now I know it's the summer,so I'll try to make this not only educational, but funtoo.

SCOTTIE:Yeah, a million laughs.

MR. BARROWS:Did you want to say something?

SCOTTIE:Me? No. It's a cough. Probably an allergy.

MR. BARROWS:Well why don't you come up here. I'm just about tostart. How many of you are familiar with CD-ROM?

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(13) Hector tells Shari that keeping one's feelings insidedoesn't make them go away, that they just come outsomewhere else. What does he mean?

(14) Hector helped Keith and Greg resolve their disputeby getting each of them to say why he was angry.How does describing your feelings help in resolvingproblems?

(15) Scottie's upset because his parents are making himtake a summer computer course. What is the realreason he doesn't want to take the course? Why doyou think he didn't recognize his real feelings?

(16) Doug is unhappy about how Emily treats him, buthas trouble naming his feelings. Why is it importantto identify your feelings as a first step in understand-ing them?

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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: • What can happen if you keep your feelings inside

and don't express them? What might have happenedif Shari hadn't said how she felt?

• Do you think telling someone how you feel is a goodway to handle angry feelings? Why or why not?

* * *DOUG:

Hey Scottie, what's up?

SCOTTIE:What's up? I'm buying notebooks. It's summer andI'm buying notebooks!

JILL:Why?

SCOTTIE:Because my mom's making me take a dumb com-puter class. Six weeks sitting in a stupid classroomworking.

DOUG:Doesn't sound so bad to me.

SCOTTIE:Well to me it sounds like torture. I'm so mad.

JILL:Too bad you can't work with us at the Nature Center.

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SUGGESTED ACTIVITIES

(1) This activity encourages students to identify andname a broad range of feelings. Begin by writingthe dictionary definition for "feelings" on the board.Then ask the students to compile a list of all thefeelings they can think of and write them on theboard also. See how many different feelings theclass can name.

Once the list is complete, ask the students to groupsimilar feelings together and make up a name orlabel for each group. For example humiliated;discouraged; disappointed; pained might be la-beled "feelings that can hurt." Excited; enthusias-tic; energetic; exuberant might be labeled "bubblyfeelings."

Once students have found the similarities betweenthe feelings, ask them to discuss the differencesbetween the words in each group. For example, howdoes "energetic" differ from "enthusiastic."

Finally, have each student write his/her own defini-tion for "feelings." Talk about how the students'definition differ from the dictionary's.

(2) Using the list below, ask the students to take parts ofone or more of the words and combine them toinvent a new feeling. Then ask them to write adefinition for their invented feeling and a short storyor poem about it. For example: Thoughtpathetic.

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KEITH:Well I do care, and it made me mad. That's why Iwanted to get back at you.

HECTOR:Alright guys. See what we've got here? Can we getover this? Now shake hands and let's get back towork.

GREG:Want a hand with that?

KEITH:Sure

* * *HECTOR:

See, that's what happens when you just go aroundbeing mad and don't say how you feel. Problemsdon't get solved, they get out of control. So Greg,why don't you keep working here and I'll walk Shariover to the museum.

SHARI:Thanks a lot Hector.

HECTOR:I'm glad I could help. And I'm really glad that youtold me how you felt instead of keeping it inside andletting it sit there. Now we can work it out. I wishall problems were this easy to fix.

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Definition: Understand how another a person thinks.Or Helpish. Definition: Want to be helpful. Com-binations may be determined by random selection(seeing what words might go together) or by assign-ing numbers and forcing the relationship of thewords selected.

happy throbbing shockedsmile soul-stirring excitedsad indifferent enthusiastichelpful careless sympatheticinteresting understanding livelyunconcerned heartfelt foolishflutter angry impressedstupid blushing sluggishthrilled romantic spiritlessglowing suffering stimulated

(3) Even though feelings are intangible, they take onphysical properties in people's minds. Ask thestudents to choose four different feelings that covera range of emotions such as: anger, loneliness,happiness, jealousy. Then ask them to write howthey think each of these feelings would feel, look,taste, smell, and sound.

(4) Body language is a very effective means of commu-nication. As people experience different feelings,their bodies assume different positions and atti-tudes. Ask the students to describe and/or demon-strate the body language they associate with differ-ent feelings, such as: embarrassment, nervousness,excitement, boredom.

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GREG:I do not.

KEITH:Yes you do!

HECTOR:Stop! Let's see what we've got here. Keith, you'reupset with Greg because you think he's not pull-ing his weight. Right?

KEITH:Yes.

HECTOR:And Greg, you're mad at Keith 'cause he's callingyou names.

GREG:Yeah, I feel like he's always trying to embarrassme. Make me look bad in front of the other kids.

KEITH:Well, I feel like you're always taking advantage ofme––giving me all the hard work.

GREG:I leave the heavy stuff for you because you're biggerand taller than I am. You never said it bothered you,so I figured you didn't care.

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(5) This activity gives students the opportunity to sharetheir feelings and express empathy for others. Eachof the questions below describes a situation thatwould cause people to have strong feelings. Askinterested students to respond.

What would you say if: • you were given an "outstanding player award"? • a person in this class broke his/her leg? • you were sent to the principal's office for some-

thing you didn't do? • a person in this class had his/her picture on the

front page of the paper? • you got an invitation to a party and your friends

didn't? • a person in this class had to go without his/her

lunch? • a person in this class had his/her dog hit by an

automobile? • a person in this class won a new 10-speed bicycle?

(6) It is important for students to be able to communi-cate their feelings without attacking the other per-son, especially when they feel uncomfortable, an-gry, or irritated.

Explain that "I" Messages allow you to say howyou feel in a positive way: An "I" Message has fourparts: 1. I feel…… (state the feeling) 2. When you……(state the other person's behavior) 3. Because……(state what you want to happen) 4. I need……(state what you want to happen)

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GREG:I've had it with him and his big mouth!

KEITH:My big mouth! Look who's talking.

HECTOR:Okay, okay. Calm down. Let's talk. One at a time.

GREG:He's always putting me down and calling me "Egg."My name's not Egg, it's Greg and he knows it. Idon't have to take that.

KEITH:Can't you take a joke?

GREG:It's not a joke and you know it. You're doing it tomake me look stupid.

KEITH:Yeah, well how about you. Always telling me whatto do. Bossing me around like you own the place.

GREG:Hector put me in charge.

KEITH:Yeah, well Hector didn't tell you to take all the easywork and make me do all the hard stuff!

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Review the following examples with the class:• Someone in your home goes through your things.Response: I want you to know that it is not okaywith me for you to go through my things. I feel hurtand I feel my privacy has been violated. The nexttime I'd like you to please ask me before you gothrough my things.

Divide the class into small groups or pairs and askeach set of students to choose six situations fromthe list below, or have the students make up situa-tions of their own. Using "I" Messages, ask them towrite a response for each situation that states theirfeelings, but does not attack the other person. Thenask the groups to read their responses and sharethem with their classmates.

This activity is intended to encourage students tobe conscious of a wide variety of emotions and tolearn to deal with them in socially acceptable ways.It is important that students never be forced toshare thoughts or feelings that would make themuncomfortable. Students should always be giventhe right to "pass" or not to share.

• Someone lights up a cigarette near you and thesmoke burns your eyes.

• A teacher embarrasses you in front of the wholeclass.

• One of your parents criticizes you in front of yourfriend.

• The driver of the car you are riding in is driving toofast for comfort or safety.

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somewhere else. Right guys? We learned that lastsummer.

KEITH:Oh yeah……

* * *GREG:

You take the logs and stack them up there. I'll putthe wood chips in the bucket.

KEITH:Sure thing, Egg.

GREG:Quit it.

KEITH:Quit what, Egg? You're really getting edgy.

GREG:What was that for?

KEITH:What was what for, Egg?

GREG:Quit it!

KEITH:Quit what? This…this?

HECTOR:What's going on?

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• Your brother lets your cat escape as he leaves for theevening.

• Someone you have confided in tells your secret. • Your neighbor repeatedly refers to you in a demean-

ing manner. • A friend you trust lets you down repeatedly. • Your lab partner loses the lab notebook you have

lent him/her.

(7) a) Some people feel one feeling more than others.Write the following list of feelings on the board andask the students to rank by secret ballot the feelingthey experience the most as #1 and continue rankingthem in order until the feeling they experience lestoften is #10. Tally all of the ballots, put the rankingson the board, and discuss the results.

____ jealousy ____ depression____ loneliness ____ fright____ love ____ happiness____ sadness ____ unwantedness____ like crying ____ anger

b) Some feelings are more difficult to deal withthan others. Again, by secret ballot, ask students torank their ability to express or deal with the follow-ing feelings using a scale with

1 - very easily 2 - easily 3 - okay 4 - difficult 5 - very difficult

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SHARI:No, it's just that I'm kind of disappointed.

HECTOR:Oh really, why?

SHARI:Well, I really don't like all this nature stuff. I meanit's okay, but when I signed up Mr. Kramer said Icould work in the photo studio at the museum.

HECTOR:Oh, there must have been a mix-up. Why didn't yousay something yesterday?

SHARI:'Cause I didn't want to make a big deal––and then Ifelt guilty, like I'd be letting you guys down. Youknow, leave you shorthanded.

HECTOR:You don't have to worry about that. We have a longwaiting list. Someone will be thrilled to get yourplace.

SHARI:That's a relief.

HECTOR:You were smart to speak up. It's good to say howyou feel. Better than keeping your feelings inside.'Cause they don't go away. They just come out

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• anger ____• jealousy ____• sadness ____• loneliness ____• depression ____

Tally the ballot and discuss the results. Were thestudents surprised at the outcomes? Why or whynot?

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JILL:How about you? Did you like it?

SHARI:Fabulous. I must have planted a gazillion seeds.

JILL:Well, I had the best time. Look at the rock I found.

DOUG:Yeah. This is going to be the greatest summer.

* * *JILL:

Have you guys been down to the lake? There's thisenormous frog.

SHARI:Frogs? Ugh!

HECTOR:What's wrong?

SHARI:Nothing.

HECTOR:Something's the matter?

SHARI:Nah, it's nothing.

HECTOR:I don't think so. You don't look very happy. Youmad at someone? Not me, I hope.

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THE HANDOUTSON THE FOLLOWING PAGES

MAY BE COPIED ANDDISTRIBUTED TO THE CLASS

EMILY:So, do you guys have pets?

DOUG:Oh yeah. I have two dogs. I love animals.

AMY:Me too.

EMILY:Great. What kind of dogs do you have?

DOUG:Two German shepherds.

EMILY:Well, here's where we'll start. Come on in and I'llshow you around. Before we do anything, I justwant to tell you that whenever you go into or out ofany area, be sure to close the gate behind you.Understand? I can't emphasize how important it is.Got it?

ALL:Sure.

EMILY:Good. Come on. I'll show you around.

* * *DOUG:

That was fun, but am I tired.

GREG:You know it.

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HANDOUTS

Handouts 1- 4These handouts ask students to explore their personalfeelings. They are not necessarily intended to be sharedwith others.

Handout 5This handout is a puzzle. Students unscramble the wordsand reveal a message.

Answers:Surprised; Anxious; Sorry; Frightened; Proud;Worried; Angry; Annoyed; Curious; Confident;Miserable; Excited; Lonely.

Message: Say How You Feel

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• Jill says she wouldn't have gotten mad if she knewhow Amy felt. How can saying how you feel changethe way someone treats you?

* * *DOUG:

I'm so excited about working at the Nature Center.

JILL:Where do you think we go?

GREG:Follow me.

HECTOR:Get your seats. Welcome to the Nature Center. Myname is Hector.

EMILY:And my name is Emily. And we're going to have agood couple of weeks.

HECTOR:We'll have some fun down at the lake…

EMILY:And we'll have some fun down at the farm, too. Solet's get started.

HECTOR:How you doing Greg? Hi Keith. Nice to see youguys again.

-46-

JILL:And that's why you're in this rotten mood?

AMY:Yeah.

JILL:Gee, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?

AMY:Nah, I just want you to know and I don't want you tobe mad at me.

JILL:Listen, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I thought you werejust blowing me off. If I'd know how you felt, I'dhave kept my big mouth shut.

AMY:Well, I guess you couldn't know if I didn't tell you.

JILL:Well, I'm glad I know now. Hey, I've got the perfectthing to cheer you up.

AMY:What?

JILL:Holding my hand while I get my haircut!

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: • How does naming your feelings help you under-

stand them?

-45-

HA

ND

OU

T 1

Fee

lings

Des

crib

e an

eve

nt o

r a

situ

atio

n in

whi

ch y

ou e

xper

ienc

ed e

ach

of th

e fe

elin

gs li

sted

bel

ow.

Use

the

dict

iona

ry to

look

up

any

wor

ds y

ou a

re u

nsur

e ab

out.

Exa

mpl

e: I

fel

t vic

tori

ous

the

day

our

scho

ol te

am b

eat t

he fa

cult

y in

a g

ame.

1

)I

felt

disa

ppoi

nted

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

2

)I

felt

exci

ted

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

3

)I

felt

anxi

ous

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

4

)I

felt

surp

rise

d __

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

5

)I

felt

sym

path

etic

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

6

)I

felt

lone

ly _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

7

)I

felt

angr

y __

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

8

)I

felt

disc

oura

ged

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

9

)I

felt

enth

usia

stic

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

10)

I fe

lt tr

uste

d __

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

__

• N

ow m

ake

up s

ente

nces

of

your

ow

n, u

sing

oth

er f

eelin

gs.

her how you feel. Don't you think if she under-stood, she'd have acted differently?

AMY:I guess. This is great! Now on top of everythingelse, I got Jill mad at me! Terrific.

MOTHER:Why don't you catch up with her and tell her howyou're feeling. But really tell her. Don't use anothing word like "bad."

AMY:Listen, don't be mad at me. Please. I need to tell yousomething. Remember yesterday at the pool whenI said I was sick, that wasn't really it.

JILL:What happened?

AMY:I don't want to talk about that, okay? But I want totell you how I feel.

JILL:I'm listening.

AMY:I guess you could say I feel…hurt.

JILL:Hurt?

AMY:Yeah. Someone really hurt my feelings.

-44-

HA

ND

OU

T 2

I F

eel P

roud

Don

't be

afr

aid

to t

ake

prid

e in

you

r ac

com

plis

hmen

ts.

Com

plet

e th

e se

nten

ces

belo

w,

incl

udin

gin

stan

ces

in w

hich

you

did

som

ethi

ng y

ou f

elt p

roud

of.

1

)I

help

ed m

y m

othe

r/fa

ther

by

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

__

2

)I

help

ed a

nei

ghbo

r by

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

3

)It

took

a lo

t of c

oura

ge w

hen

I fir

st _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

__

4

)I w

orke

d a

long

tim

e to

fini

sh a

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___ JILL:

Some friend you are. You know how I feel aboutgetting my hair cut. I can't believe you're doing thisto me.

MOTHER:What was that about?

AMY:She's mad at me 'cause I won't go with her to get herstupid hair cut. Some friend I am? Some friend sheis. Not exactly sympathetic.

MOTHER:Sympathetic? About what? Did you tell her howyou feel?

AMY:I didn't have to tell her, she could see.

MOTHER:Amy, people can't read your mind. How can Jill besympathetic if she doesn't know what to be sympa-thetic about? I mean how can she tell what you'refeeling and be considerate of your feelings, if shedoesn't know what your feelings are?

AMY:If I tell her, she's going to want to know what mademe feel bad and I don't want to talk about it.

MOTHER:You don't have to tell her what happened. Just tell

-43-

JILL:Boy, you sound miserable.

AMY:I'll live.

JILL:What's up?

AMY:Nothing.

JILL:Hey, you missed a great time last night. You almostready?

AMY:For what?

JILL:You promised to come with me to get my hair cut.Remember?

AMY:No, I forgot. Listen, I can't go.

JILL:You promised.

AMY:Then I'm breaking my promise. I said I can't go.

JILL:Can't go or won't go.

AMY:Whatever.

-42- 5

)I

know

I'm

goo

d at

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

6

)I

was

a f

rien

d to

som

eone

by

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

7

)M

y fa

mily

was

surp

rise

d w

hen

they

foun

d ou

t tha

t I c

ould

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

8

)I

didn

't th

ink

that

I c

ould

do

this

, but

I f

ound

that

I c

ould

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

9

)I

help

ed th

ose

less

for

tuna

te b

y __

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

10)

(Add

a s

ente

nce

of y

our

own)

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

HA

ND

OU

T 3

I F

eel C

omfo

rtab

le

Com

plet

e th

e fo

llow

ing

sent

ence

s.

1

)I f

eel b

est w

ith o

ther

s whe

n th

ey _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

2

)I

feel

unc

omfo

rtab

le w

ith o

ther

s w

hen

they

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

3

)It

is e

asy

to s

hare

my

feel

ings

with

oth

ers

whe

n th

ey _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

4

)It

is h

ard

to s

hare

my

feel

ings

with

oth

ers

whe

n th

ey _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

5

)I

am m

ore

com

fort

able

with

oth

er k

ids

whe

n th

ey__

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_ AMY:Why?

MOTHER:Because "bad" doesn't tell me what you're reallyfeeling––or tell you what you're really feeling.

AMY:Yes it does.

MOTHER:Not really. Bad can mean you feel upset, or you feelannoyed, or you feel hurt or angry, or even thatyou're in pain. But by itself it doesn't really describeyour feelings.

AMY:Call it what you want. To me it's just BAD!

MOTHER:Try this…look at this picture? If I were to put aname to it, I'd call it "Amy feeling…surprised."Well suppose I took a picture of you right now,feeling just as you're feeling What would you callit? "Amy feeling……" what?

AMY:I don't know.

* * *JILL:

You feeling better?

AMY:I guess.

-41-

6

)I

feel

bes

t whe

n ot

hers

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

7

)In

our

cla

ss I

hop

e th

at _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

__

8

)I

feel

war

mes

t tow

ards

a p

erso

n w

hen

he/s

he _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

9

)In

our

cla

ss I

am

mos

t con

cern

ed a

bout

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

10

)W

hat I

wan

t to

get o

ut o

f th

is c

lass

is _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___AMY:

It's open.

MOTHER:What are you doing?

AMY:Just looking at some pictures––from last summer.

MOTHER:Can I see? These are great. Can we talk?

AMY:There's nothing to talk about.

MOTHER:Come on, something must have happened.

AMY:No. I just don't feel so hot.

MOTHER:Are you sick?

AMY:No, I just feel bad.

MOTHER:Bad? I'm not sure I know what you mean by that.

AMY:Bad means bad. What do you think?

MOTHER:Can you be more specific?

-40-

HA

ND

OU

T 4

Hap

pine

ss I

s…

1

)D

escr

ibe

wha

t hap

pine

ss m

eans

to y

ou.

2

)W

hen

do y

ou f

eel h

appy

?

3

)W

hat t

hree

thin

gs m

ight

you

do

to b

ring

hap

pine

ss in

to y

our

life?

4

)C

ould

you

stil

l be

happ

y if

you

lost

all

your

pos

sess

ions

? W

hy o

r w

hy n

ot?

* * *MOTHER:

Amy, what time is it? What are you doing home soearly?

AMY:I decided not to stay. It was stupid.

MOTHER:Stupid? You've been looking forward to this forweeks. What happened?

AMY:Nothing. I didn't feel like staying, that's all.

MOTHER:Amy?

AMY:Nothing.

MOTHER:What's going on?

AMY:I said, nothing.

MOTHER:Okay. What about dinner?

AMY:I'm not very hungry. Maybe later.

* * *

-39-

JILL:What did he say? How did it go?

AMY:I didn't do it. I changed my mind.

SHARI:Well, don't worry.

AMY:What do you mean?

SHARI:We fixed it so you two will be on the same team forthe relay races.

AMY:What?!

JILL:It helps to have friends in high places. Like me. Iwrote out the teams. You can thank me later.

ANNOUNCER:Would everyone please come to the snack bar to getyour team badges. The relay races are about to start.

SHARI:Now's your chance.

JILL:Where are you going?

AMY:I don't feel so good. I feel like I'm going to be sick.I'm going home.

-38- 5

)If

you

cou

ld s

ave

just

one

pos

sess

ion

from

a f

ire,

wha

t wou

ld it

be?

Why

is th

is p

osse

ssio

n of

grea

t im

port

ance

to y

ou?

6

)W

hat t

hing

s do

you

obs

erve

oth

ers

doin

g th

at b

ring

s th

em h

appi

ness

?

7

)D

o yo

u fe

el h

appi

er a

s a

resu

lt of

hav

ing

thin

gs o

r do

ing

thin

gs?

Exp

lain

.

8

)W

hat p

ossi

bilit

ies

are

ther

e fo

r ha

ppin

ess

in s

impl

y be

ing?

HA

ND

OU

T 5

A J

umbl

e of

Fee

lings

Uns

cram

bele

the

wor

ds b

elow

. E

ach

one

is a

dif

fere

nt f

eelin

g.T

he le

tters

in th

e ci

rcle

d ar

eas

will

rev

eal a

sec

ret m

essa

ge.

UR

RIS

PSD

E__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

XU

SOIN

A__

__

__

__

__

__

__

RR

YO

S__

__

__

__

__

DG

HR

EN

TE

FI__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

DO

RPU

__

__

__

__

__

RO

WR

IDE

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

JILL:Just do it!

AMY:Yeah?

SHARI:Sure. Go on!

GREG:Are you going to ask someone to the graduationdance?

SCOTTIE:I don't know. How about you?

GREG:I haven't decided yet. What about you?

BILLY:Maybe Melanie.

SCOTTIE:Melanie. That's a problem. I hear Amy wants to askyou.

BILLY:Amy? Amy Lansing? Give me a break.

GREG:Why? What's wrong with Amy?

BILLY:I'd stay home before I'd go with her…come on, let'srace.

-37-

YN

AG

R__

__

__

__

__

NY

NO

DA

E__

__

__

__

__

__

__

SIR

OU

UC

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

TIN

FOC

NE

D__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

ESB

LE

AM

RI

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

XC

TIE

ED

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

YN

LL

EO

__

__

__

__

__

__

AMY:Thanks. That's when the pool closes. But I mightsleep at Jill's. I'll call if I do.

MOTHER:Have fun.

AMY:Thanks.

* * *JILL:

Amy…Amy…Amy, over here.

AMY:Hey guys. Isn't this a great party!

SHARI:Yeah. Did you see who's over there?

AMY:Where?

JILL:Over there. Billy Randolph. Are you still going toask him to the graduation dance?

AMY:I don't know. I'm kind of scared.

SHARI:Well, don't be. Now's your chance.

AMY:You think so? What'll I say?

SHARI:You know, "How are you. Isn't this fun."

-36-

BIBLIOGRAPHY

For Teachers

Feshbach, Norma. Learning to Care. Glenview, IL: GoodYear Books, 1983. (classroom activities for social andaffective development)

Morganett, Rosmarie. Skills for Living. Champaign, IL:Research Press, 1990. (group activities for youngadolescents)

Morrison, Kenneth. Feeling Good About Me. Minneapo-lis: Educational Media Corporation, 1985. (focusfeeling sessions for self-development)

Reasoner, Robert, Building Self-Esteem. Palo Alto, CA:Consulting Psychologist Press, 1991. (classroomactivities for positive self-esteem development in sec-ondary schools)

For Parents

Briggs, D. Your Child's Self-Esteem: The Key to His Life.Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1970.

Hopkins, L.B. Let Them Be Themselves. New York:Citation Press, 1969.

Patterson, G.R. Living with Children: New Methods forParents and Teachers. Champaign, IL: ResearchPress, 1976.

-30-

TITLE:Learning to Say How You Feel

AMY:Hi, Mom.

MOTHER:Hi, Honey.

AMY:Don't forget, I'm not going to be home for dinner.Remember, the pool party?

MOTHER:Right. I did forget. So you have everything youneed?

AMY:Yes.

MOTHER:Where's your bathing suit?

AMY:Right here.

MOTHER:So what time will you be home?

AMY;I guess about eight.

MOTHER:That shirt looks great.

-35-

Nonfiction for Grades 5-9

Dahl, Ronald. Boy: Tales of Childhood. New York: Farrar,1994. (a famous author recalls his emotional strugglefrom school days to maturity in a humorous auto-biography)

McCoy, Kathy and Charles Wibblesman. The New Teen-age Body Book. Rev. ed. New York: Putnam, 1992(covers emotions as well as other helpful topics)

Nida, Patricia Cooney and Wendy M. Heller. The Teenager'sSurvival Guide to Moving. New York: Atheneum,1985. (useful tips for helping teens adjust to a familymove)

Schneider, Meg. F. Popularity Has Its Ups and Downs.New York: Julian Messner, 1991. (how to have goodfriends and feel good about yourself)

Fiction for Grades 5-9

Crutcher, Chris. Ironman. New York: Greenwillow Books,1995. (letters to an imagined confidant help Bo setdown his thoughts and feelings and find out why he ismad at the world and himself, and how to get along withhis father)

Duder, Tessa. Alex in Rome. New York: HoughtonMifflin, 1992. (as the youngest member of NewZealand's team to the Rome Olympics and the onlyswimmer, Alex is helped to overcome her feelings ofloneliness and inadequacy by a fellow New Zealanderstudying in Italy)

-31-

SCRIPT

GREG:I'm so nervous!

JILL:I'm so excited!

AMY:I'm so frightened.

* * *AMY:

I'm optimistic.

SHARI:I'm determined.

DOUG:I'm exhausted.

* * *SCOTTIE:

I'm disappointed.

JILL:I'm grateful.

DOUG:I'm proud.

* * *JILL:

I'm so surprised.

GREG:I'm so happy.

SCOTTIE:Try jealous.

-34-

Fox, Paula. Western Wind. New York: Richard Jackson/Orchard Books, 1994. (feeling alternately angry,lonely, and bored when she is sent to stay with hereccentric grandmother, after her parents' new baby ar-rives, Elizabeth is transformed by a series of events froma self-absorbed teen to a more loving person)

Grant, Cynthia D. Phoenix Rising: Or, How to SurviveYour Life. New York: Atheneum, 1989. (reading hersister Helen's diary of her year-long bout with cancerhelps Jessie cope with her feelings of pain and anger andget on with her life after Helen's death)

Murphy, Claire Rudolf. To the Summit. New York: Lode-star/Dutton, 1992. (Sarah both needs her father andwants to be independent from him, but he creates diffi-culties for her by never talking about his feelings. AnAlaskan mountain-climbing expedition provides theimpetus for Sarah to learn enough about herself to be ableto help her father)

Paterson, Katherine. Jacob Have I Loved. New York: AvonFlare, 1981. (feeling herself the despised Esau and heradored twin, Caroline, the beloved Jacob, Louise issaved from jealousy by her mother and a friend, andhelped to be herself and seek her own dreams andindependence)

O'Neil, Libby. In Summer Light. New York: Viking-Kestrel, 1985. (17-year-old Kate is helped to overcomeher bittnerness toward her famous but egotistical artistfather, and rediscover not only her own artistic talent butwho she is and what she would like to become)

-32-

Rodowsky, Colby. Sydney, Herself. New York: Farrar,1989. (weaving an elaborate fantasy to blunt scaryfeelings about herself and her life with her single-parentmom, Sydney Downie imagines herself to be the daugh-ter of a rock musician)

Salinger, J.D. The Catcher in the Rye. New York: BantamBooks, 1945. (this classic novel of three days in the lifeof Holden Caulfield presents a realistic portrayal of thepains of growing up and impending adulthood)

Woodson, Jacqueline. From the Notebooks of MelaninSun. New York: The Blue Sky Press/Scholastic,1995. (This "tiny, tiny family that's only Mama and mefeels right and whole and good," says Melanin, until theday comes that he must find his way out of some grown-up issues)

-33-

Nonfiction for Grades 5-9

Dahl, Ronald. Boy: Tales of Childhood. New York: Farrar,1994. (a famous author recalls his emotional strugglefrom school days to maturity in a humorous auto-biography)

McCoy, Kathy and Charles Wibblesman. The New Teen-age Body Book. Rev. ed. New York: Putnam, 1992(covers emotions as well as other helpful topics)

Nida, Patricia Cooney and Wendy M. Heller. The Teenager'sSurvival Guide to Moving. New York: Atheneum,1985. (useful tips for helping teens adjust to a familymove)

Schneider, Meg. F. Popularity Has Its Ups and Downs.New York: Julian Messner, 1991. (how to have goodfriends and feel good about yourself)

Fiction for Grades 5-9

Crutcher, Chris. Ironman. New York: Greenwillow Books,1995. (letters to an imagined confidant help Bo setdown his thoughts and feelings and find out why he ismad at the world and himself, and how to get along withhis father)

Duder, Tessa. Alex in Rome. New York: HoughtonMifflin, 1992. (as the youngest member of NewZealand's team to the Rome Olympics and the onlyswimmer, Alex is helped to overcome her feelings ofloneliness and inadequacy by a fellow New Zealanderstudying in Italy)

-31-

SCRIPT

GREG:I'm so nervous!

JILL:I'm so excited!

AMY:I'm so frightened.

* * *AMY:

I'm optimistic.

SHARI:I'm determined.

DOUG:I'm exhausted.

* * *SCOTTIE:

I'm disappointed.

JILL:I'm grateful.

DOUG:I'm proud.

* * *JILL:

I'm so surprised.

GREG:I'm so happy.

SCOTTIE:Try jealous.

-34-

BIBLIOGRAPHY

For Teachers

Feshbach, Norma. Learning to Care. Glenview, IL: GoodYear Books, 1983. (classroom activities for social andaffective development)

Morganett, Rosmarie. Skills for Living. Champaign, IL:Research Press, 1990. (group activities for youngadolescents)

Morrison, Kenneth. Feeling Good About Me. Minneapo-lis: Educational Media Corporation, 1985. (focusfeeling sessions for self-development)

Reasoner, Robert, Building Self-Esteem. Palo Alto, CA:Consulting Psychologist Press, 1991. (classroomactivities for positive self-esteem development in sec-ondary schools)

For Parents

Briggs, D. Your Child's Self-Esteem: The Key to His Life.Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1970.

Hopkins, L.B. Let Them Be Themselves. New York:Citation Press, 1969.

Patterson, G.R. Living with Children: New Methods forParents and Teachers. Champaign, IL: ResearchPress, 1976.

-30-

TITLE:Learning to Say How You Feel

AMY:Hi, Mom.

MOTHER:Hi, Honey.

AMY:Don't forget, I'm not going to be home for dinner.Remember, the pool party?

MOTHER:Right. I did forget. So you have everything youneed?

AMY:Yes.

MOTHER:Where's your bathing suit?

AMY:Right here.

MOTHER:So what time will you be home?

AMY;I guess about eight.

MOTHER:That shirt looks great.

-35-

YN

AG

R__

__

__

__

__

NY

NO

DA

E__

__

__

__

__

__

__

SIR

OU

UC

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

TIN

FOC

NE

D__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

ESB

LE

AM

RI

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

XC

TIE

ED

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

YN

LL

EO

__

__

__

__

__

__

AMY:Thanks. That's when the pool closes. But I mightsleep at Jill's. I'll call if I do.

MOTHER:Have fun.

AMY:Thanks.

* * *JILL:

Amy…Amy…Amy, over here.

AMY:Hey guys. Isn't this a great party!

SHARI:Yeah. Did you see who's over there?

AMY:Where?

JILL:Over there. Billy Randolph. Are you still going toask him to the graduation dance?

AMY:I don't know. I'm kind of scared.

SHARI:Well, don't be. Now's your chance.

AMY:You think so? What'll I say?

SHARI:You know, "How are you. Isn't this fun."

-36-

HA

ND

OU

T 5

A J

umbl

e of

Fee

lings

Uns

cram

bele

the

wor

ds b

elow

. E

ach

one

is a

dif

fere

nt f

eelin

g.T

he le

tters

in th

e ci

rcle

d ar

eas

will

rev

eal a

sec

ret m

essa

ge.

UR

RIS

PSD

E__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

XU

SOIN

A__

__

__

__

__

__

__

RR

YO

S__

__

__

__

__

DG

HR

EN

TE

FI__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

DO

RPU

__

__

__

__

__

RO

WR

IDE

__

__

__

__

__

__

__

JILL:Just do it!

AMY:Yeah?

SHARI:Sure. Go on!

GREG:Are you going to ask someone to the graduationdance?

SCOTTIE:I don't know. How about you?

GREG:I haven't decided yet. What about you?

BILLY:Maybe Melanie.

SCOTTIE:Melanie. That's a problem. I hear Amy wants to askyou.

BILLY:Amy? Amy Lansing? Give me a break.

GREG:Why? What's wrong with Amy?

BILLY:I'd stay home before I'd go with her…come on, let'srace.

-37-

JILL:What did he say? How did it go?

AMY:I didn't do it. I changed my mind.

SHARI:Well, don't worry.

AMY:What do you mean?

SHARI:We fixed it so you two will be on the same team forthe relay races.

AMY:What?!

JILL:It helps to have friends in high places. Like me. Iwrote out the teams. You can thank me later.

ANNOUNCER:Would everyone please come to the snack bar to getyour team badges. The relay races are about to start.

SHARI:Now's your chance.

JILL:Where are you going?

AMY:I don't feel so good. I feel like I'm going to be sick.I'm going home.

-38- 5

)If

you

cou

ld s

ave

just

one

pos

sess

ion

from

a f

ire,

wha

t wou

ld it

be?

Why

is th

is p

osse

ssio

n of

grea

t im

port

ance

to y

ou?

6

)W

hat t

hing

s do

you

obs

erve

ot h

ers

doin

g th

at b

ring

s th

em h

appi

ness

?

7

)D

o yo

u fe

el h

appi

er a

s a

res u

lt of

hav

ing

thin

gs o

r do

ing

thi n

gs?

Exp

lain

.

8

)W

hat p

ossi

bil it

ies

are

ther

e fo

r ha

ppin

ess

in s

impl

y be

ing?

HA

ND

OU

T 4

Hap

pine

ss I

s…

1

)D

escr

ibe

wha

t hap

pine

ss m

eans

to y

ou.

2

)W

hen

do y

ou f

eel h

appy

?

3

)W

hat t

hree

thin

gs m

ight

you

do

to b

ring

hap

pine

ss in

to y

our

life?

4

)C

ould

you

stil

l be

happ

y if

you

lost

all

your

pos

sess

ions

? W

hy o

r w

hy n

ot?

* * *MOTHER:

Amy, what time is it? What are you doing home soearly?

AMY:I decided not to stay. It was stupid.

MOTHER:Stupid? You've been looking forward to this forweeks. What happened?

AMY:Nothing. I didn't feel like staying, that's all.

MOTHER:Amy?

AMY:Nothing.

MOTHER:What's going on?

AMY:I said, nothing.

MOTHER:Okay. What about dinner?

AMY:I'm not very hungry. Maybe later.

* * *

-39-

6

)I

feel

bes

t whe

n ot

hers

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

7

)In

our

cla

ss I

hop

e th

at _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

__

8

)I

fee l

war

mes

t tow

a rds

a p

erso

n w

hen

he/s

he _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

9

)In

our

cla

ss I

am

mos

t con

cern

ed a

bout

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

10

)W

hat I

wa n

t to

get o

ut o

f th

is c

lass

i s _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___AMY:

It's open.

MOTHER:What are you doing?

AMY:Just looking at some pictures––from last summer.

MOTHER:Can I see? These are great. Can we talk?

AMY:There's nothing to talk about.

MOTHER:Come on, something must have happened.

AMY:No. I just don't feel so hot.

MOTHER:Are you sick?

AMY:No, I just feel bad.

MOTHER:Bad? I'm not sure I know what you mean by that.

AMY:Bad means bad. What do you think?

MOTHER:Can you be more specific?

-40-

HA

ND

OU

T 3

I F

eel C

omfo

rtab

le

Com

plet

e th

e fo

llow

ing

sent

ence

s.

1

)I f

eel b

est w

ith o

ther

s whe

n th

ey _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

2

)I

feel

unc

omfo

rtab

le w

ith o

ther

s w

hen

they

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

3

)It

is e

asy

to s

hare

my

feel

ings

with

oth

ers

whe

n th

ey _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

4

)It

is h

ard

to s

hare

my

feel

ings

with

oth

ers

whe

n th

ey _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

5

)I

am m

ore

com

fort

able

with

oth

er k

ids

whe

n th

ey__

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_ AMY:Why?

MOTHER:Because "bad" doesn't tell me what you're reallyfeeling––or tell you what you're really feeling.

AMY:Yes it does.

MOTHER:Not really. Bad can mean you feel upset, or you feelannoyed, or you feel hurt or angry, or even thatyou're in pain. But by itself it doesn't really describeyour feelings.

AMY:Call it what you want. To me it's just BAD!

MOTHER:Try this…look at this picture? If I were to put aname to it, I'd call it "Amy feeling…surprised."Well suppose I took a picture of you right now,feeling just as you're feeling What would you callit? "Amy feeling……" what?

AMY:I don't know.

* * *JILL:

You feeling better?

AMY:I guess.

-41-

JILL:Boy, you sound miserable.

AMY:I'll live.

JILL:What's up?

AMY:Nothing.

JILL:Hey, you missed a great time last night. You almostready?

AMY:For what?

JILL:You promised to come with me to get my hair cut.Remember?

AMY:No, I forgot. Listen, I can't go.

JILL:You promised.

AMY:Then I'm breaking my promise. I said I can't go.

JILL:Can't go or won't go.

AMY:Whatever.

-42- 5

)I

know

I'm

goo

d at

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

6

)I

was

a f

rien

d to

som

eone

by

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

7

)M

y f a

mil y

was

sur p

rise

d w

hen

they

foun

d ou

t tha

t I c

ould

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

8

)I

didn

' t th

ink

that

I c

ould

do

this

, but

I f

ound

that

I c

ould

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

9

)I

help

ed th

ose

less

for

tuna

te b

y __

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

10)

(Add

a s

ente

nce

of y

our

own)

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

HA

ND

OU

T 2

I F

eel P

roud

Don

't be

afr

aid

to t

ake

prid

e in

you

r ac

com

plis

hmen

ts.

Com

plet

e th

e se

nten

ces

belo

w,

incl

udin

gin

stan

ces

in w

hich

you

did

som

ethi

ng y

ou f

elt p

roud

of.

1

)I

help

ed m

y m

othe

r/fa

ther

by

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

__

2

)I

help

ed a

nei

ghbo

r by

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

3

)It

took

a lo

t of c

oura

ge w

hen

I fir

st _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

__

4

)I w

orke

d a

long

tim

e to

fini

sh a

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___ JILL:

Some friend you are. You know how I feel aboutgetting my hair cut. I can't believe you're doing thisto me.

MOTHER:What was that about?

AMY:She's mad at me 'cause I won't go with her to get herstupid hair cut. Some friend I am? Some friend sheis. Not exactly sympathetic.

MOTHER:Sympathetic? About what? Did you tell her howyou feel?

AMY:I didn't have to tell her, she could see.

MOTHER:Amy, people can't read your mind. How can Jill besympathetic if she doesn't know what to be sympa-thetic about? I mean how can she tell what you'refeeling and be considerate of your feelings, if shedoesn't know what your feelings are?

AMY:If I tell her, she's going to want to know what mademe feel bad and I don't want to talk about it.

MOTHER:You don't have to tell her what happened. Just tell

-43-

5

)I

felt

sym

path

etic

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

6

)I

felt

lone

ly _

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

7

)I

fel t

angr

y __

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

8

)I

felt

disc

oura

ged

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

___

9

)I

felt

enth

usia

s ti c

___

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

_

10)

I fe

lt t r

uste

d __

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

____

__

• N

ow m

ake

up s

ente

nces

of

your

ow

n, u

sing

oth

er f

eeli n

gs.

her how you feel. Don't you think if she under-stood, she'd have acted differently?

AMY:I guess. This is great! Now on top of everythingelse, I got Jill mad at me! Terrific.

MOTHER:Why don't you catch up with her and tell her howyou're feeling. But really tell her. Don't use anothing word like "bad."

AMY:Listen, don't be mad at me. Please. I need to tell yousomething. Remember yesterday at the pool whenI said I was sick, that wasn't really it.

JILL:What happened?

AMY:I don't want to talk about that, okay? But I want totell you how I feel.

JILL:I'm listening.

AMY:I guess you could say I feel…hurt.

JILL:Hurt?

AMY:Yeah. Someone really hurt my feelings.

-44-