Lean In Networking

Women in Networking

We tend to

• speak up less

• advocate for ourselves less

• get caught up in being perfect

• helping others to our own detriment

• be less ambitious (and therefore less strategic) than men

Why?

An entire set of learned behaviors and social pressure.

In here, we are going to figure out how to conquer those issues.

What Does That Mean?

Lean In Networking is about

Participating Strategically

Participating: Learning how to network, going to events and talking to people at events.

Strategically: Communicating your value -with a strategy in mind.

Jasmine & the Coffee Shop

Agenda

• Intro & Disclaimers• What is Networking• How to Network• Personal Brand• Customizing Your Networking

– Immutable Identity (sex, race, height, etc)– Mutable Elements (personality, style, speaking etc)– Self-understanding (biases, insecurities, self-value)

• Networking Strategically• Ecosystem of Networking – (tying it all together)

– Environment– People– You

Ecosystem

Networking is an interaction, a relationship between you and other people.

But networking begins before that meeting. – It begins with you knowing yourself - your skills your

abilities and your challenges– And ends with you presenting an honest, accurate &

compelling person at an event– With a lot in between including

• finding the right event• talking to the right people• presenting the right external package• communicating successfully• being memorable

– And can continue with email and follow-up

Disclaimer #1: Not a Political Conversation

(I will repeat these when we move into this part of the conversation and go into more detail.)

Not a political conversation• Gender, sex, discrimination will come up.• This is a practical class – not an aspirational one.• Focused on how the world is, not how it ought to be.• We want a better world but that‟s not what we get every day.• By making changes ourselves, we can make things better.

NOTE: That doesn‟t mean you should tolerate or accept bad behavior. These are tools – you use them based on your particular circumstances.

Disclaimer #2: Not all options are for everyone

When I present a tool or option, I am NEVER saying that you should change. I am saying knowledge is useful. Tools are helpful and you can choose how to respond.

Disclaimer #3: Everyone has prejudices

When we discuss prejudices and issues, this includes women.

Not all men are unhelpful & backwards.

Not all women are your friends.

(we are often hardest on other women so self awareness is important too)

Disclaimer #4: None of this is personal

None of the examples here are real – and none of this is personal.

All examples decided before I came in today.

About Me

• Avid Networker

• Started a Mentoring Program

• Founder, Web Content Mavens

• Digital Strategy Consultant

Strategic Changes

Business Development is to

Networking

--- AS ---Sales is to

Asking for a Job

BD -> Networking

BD, Sales, Marketing

Business Development

• Understand the product

• Know how to communicate the value

• Identify the markets and potential customers for your product

• Build long term relationships within those markets

• Follow-up to continue the relationship

Leading to a pipeline of business

Network Development

• Understand yourself

• Know how to communicate your value

• Identify networking opportunities that reach your target audience

• Build relationships at the event

• Follow-up to continue the relationship

Leading to a pipeline of connections

Why Network?

Value of Networking

• 60% of jobs are found through networking –some estimate higher

• 70-80% of positions aren‟t even advertised

• Examples include getting your roof fixed (aren‟t you more likely to pick a neighbor who has a clean yard and a sign out than a stranger) to this very class (now that we‟ve all met, we'll be more likely to help each other).

Relationships Generate Business

• When people know you and have a relationship with you, they are more likely to:

– Advocate for you

– Remember you when an opportunity opens up

– Help you with issues and challenges

– Give you a better deal than a stranger

What Is Networking

What is Networking?

Network: a “group, system, etc of interconnected or cooperating individuals”

Networking is about...

–Creating relationships

–Establishing 2-way communication

–Building trust networks

–Defining & supporting mutual benefit

–Achieving momentum

Networking is NOT about...

–Using others to advance yourself

–Short term job seeking or short term benefit seeking (see Sales)

–Taking from people without giving benefit

–It‟s not short term

Networking Best Practices

10 Golden Rules of Networking

Ten essential items to keep in mind when planning for an event and when out networking.

1. Be open to others

2. Be kind and positive – not just because it‟s good, but because it serves you better

3. Be aware of your time and others (guiding rule: 8-10 min per conversation, unless in a group)

10 Golden Rules of Networking

4. Be clear and concise about what you are looking to gain from the interaction.

5. Be honest but don‟t overshare.

6. Be aware of your clothing and posture –you want to present the best possible “you”.

7. After talking, ask for contact information if you want to follow-up. Don‟t wait for the other person.

10 Golden Rules of Networking

8. Be interested in the other person.

9. Don‟t worry if you‟ve forgotten a name. Just be honest and say “I‟m afraid your name is escaping me at the moment”

10.Use honest and direct language. Best opening line: “Hi, my name is…”

(A Note on Job Seeking)

If you are looking for a job or other assistance –do so in a brief clear manner.

Be careful not to give the impression you are looking for a job from the other person

(If they don‟t have a job for you, this will often end the conversation – even if they may have contacts worth pursuing.)

We Are Looking for

Balance

– Be Open / Don't Overshare

– Vulnerable / Not Needy

– Interested / Not Watchful

– Modest / Not Self Depriciating

– Kind / Not Walked-Over (need new term)

Where To Network

Where to Network

WHERE TO START BUILDING YOU NETWORK

Family and friends – even if they don‟t work in the same field or vertical, they may have contacts you hadn‟t considered – and they can give you the best possible recommendation.

In your office/location/school– Get to know your co-workers– Chat with others in your location (ask questions about

what they do, about the business they work for, etc)

Business associates

Where to Network (cont)

Previous employers – easy to do now with linked-in, etc

Clients/contacts/donors

Alumni groups

Online – twitter, facebook, blogs, etc

Create Your Own Networking Events

Plan for the Future!

When you meet someone, evaluate them based not just on your current needs

Instead, on where you and they might be in a few years.

How To Network

Qualities of a Great Networker

This is just a free-form list. Not everyone is good at every item. You should add to this as you learn about networking – and find which items you have to struggle to achieve and which items come easily to you.

• Friendly• Smiles easily• Listens well – and is able to offer opinions and ideas• Is interested in others• Expects others to be interested in him/her• Is able to succinctly state what he/she is looking for in 30-45 seconds• Helpful to others – makes introductions, holds a bag, etc• Prepares for the event• Arrives early• Introduces his/herself to others• Aware of time – both for themselves and for others• Takes notes on the people they‟ve met• Asks for business cards• Quick follow-up after an event or interaction• Avoids jargon/doesn‟t make the other person feel less intelligent

At Events

• Events can be tremendously hard even for the un-shy among us. Some basic principles for navigating events.

• Generally, be open to people (to the largest degree you can)

• Open body posture

• Look around, not down

• Smile when someone meets your eyes

Dos & Don’ts

• Don’t sit down• Don’t fiddle with your iPhone• Do stand near the bar, buffet, entrance or other

gathering place• Do have a drink in hand to avoid crossing your arms• Don’t stand with a closed posture or look down• Do look around the room – slowly and calmly (you

aren‟t looking for someone – you are viewing the crowd)

• Do meet people‟s eyes – and if they are close, smile and introduce yourself

Your Situation

SITUATIONS

• Active job seeker

• Passive job seeker

• Represent company

• Start company

Your Goals

GOALS

• You = job, next career move, networking, professional dev, resources for work

• Company = Biz Dev, exposure etc

• Idea = entrepreneur

Introductory Statement

• Name

• Why here

– Lead with primary goal

– Job/netw - I do this for this co

– Company - I work for

– Startup - Starting a firm that does x

Mechanics of Networking

Nametags

• First Name = big letters

• What you want to promote:

– the company you work for

• If you have a more common name: Add an last initial (or last name if short)

HOW TO NETWOEK

• Mechanics

– Who to approach

– How to Escape

– Break into a conversation group

– Work a room

– When to offer a biz card

Starting a Conversation

• Hi, my name is Jasmine

• What brought you here?

• Are you an x or a y attendee?

• Do you know many people here? I'm trying to meet x or y. Or to meet people who do x or y.

• Do you mind if I join you?

• How did you hear about this event?

• There‟s a lot of x. What jumps out at you? (or what doesn't work for you, etc)

• Are you following x story?

More...

• That‟s a great tie. Love that shirt.

– When someone compliments you – use it as an opportunity to talk more.

• Have you tried the food yet? I‟m torn between the beef and the veggie.

• I‟m trying to extend my network – not just talk with the usual suspects.

• Is that a Note? I‟ve been looking at those.

More...

• Both here at the buffet/bar, mind if I introduce myself?

• I'd love to meet new people - can you be one?

• Networking - we have to do it but its not easy for me

Next Phase

• Often not necessary – the first sentence is usually enough.

• What are you working on? What are you interested in?

• Talk about a friends project

• Talk up technology

• Talk about yourself!

Non-Professional Events (or later at professional ones)

• Ask an intriguing question

• Great event. I know I should go home but I‟m enjoying this so much.

• Are you having fun?

• I‟m thinking of grabbing dinner after this –do you know the area?

Dos & Don’ts

• Stop worrying about etiquette

• Talk to new people

• It's ok to start with a friend/acquaintance in the first few minutes or when you feel uncomfortable

• Visit with them when they are talking with someone

Closing the Conversation

• Clear, concise call to action if you want to follow-up

– I'd love to talk more, grab coffee, pick brain, etc

Ending a Conversation

• “I‟m headed over there. Nice to meet”.

• “Excuse me. I have to take this text message”.

• “I‟m sorry but I need to take care of something”. <-or talk to someone

• “This is a great conversation. Can we continue this later?”

• “This has been great. I‟d like to meet a few other people but let‟s talk later.” <-optional

Following Up

• Twitter, facebook, linkedin, etc

• How to follow-up after no reply

• How to keep the conversation going (types: casual keeping self on radar, when you want something, etc)

Stay In Contact

A few ideas...• Jot down notes about people.• Follow-up to see if a deal went through, if they

found a new apartment, etc.• Send interesting articles with a short note

(“Thought this might be of interest”)• Forward events that might be useful to them

(Note that frequency will depend on the relationship -but once a month is usually the max unless you are close with someone.)

Brand You

The Value Proposition

The Value Proposition answers the question: Why should this person want to talk to you?

Identify your personal brand - the accurate, concise, clear and compelling statement of who you are that will engage others and create relationships and opportunities - and learn how to communicate your brand efficiently and effectively.

Personal Branding Statement

1. Who you are (your skills & specialty)

2. What you do (your industry/service)

3. Who you work with

4. A leading attribute

Brand = Memory Helper

Branding = signals that generate associations.

Brand You

Your Personal Brand is roughly how you want to be perceived – so a mix of a few qualities including:

1. Your personality2. Your personal values and interests3. Your trustworthiness and consistency4. Your value to others – your benefits and talents

You communicate items 1-3 by your actions, by how you speak and communicate, how you follow-through and interact. It is the last item (#4) that you need to verbally communicate. Don‟t make people work to see the talents you bring to the table.

What’s the Buzz On YOU?

If there isn't buzz, then how do you create that?

• Positive

• Accurate & Authentic

• Clear

• Relevant

• Memorable

Positive

• This is the best version of you.

• It needs to be accurate but also highlight the strongest parts of you.

Accurate & Authentic

• You need to promise something accurate & authentic.

• You do not need to share every flaw

• You DO need to be authentic

Relevant

• Make sure your brand aligns with a need.

EXERCISE

Memorable

• People need a way to differentiate between brands - a way to remember you and what you do or offer

• If there are already lots of XYZs, don't focus on that. If you do something very esoteric, find a way to package it that is still unique but not so specialized.

• IE if you do user research for startups, talk first about user experience and startups.

About You

Disclaimer #1: Not a Political Conversation

(I will repeat these when we move into this part of the conversation and go into more detail.)

Not a political conversation• Gender, sex, discrimination will come up.• This is a practical class – not an aspirational one.• Focused on how the world is, not how it ought to be.• We want a better world but that‟s not what we get every day.• By making changes ourselves, we can make things better.

NOTE: That doesn‟t mean you should tolerate or accept bad behavior. These are tools – you use them based on your particular circumstances.

Disclaimer #2: Everyone has prejudices

When we discuss prejudices and issues, this includes women.

Not all men are unhelpful & backwards.

Not all women are your friends.

(we are often hardest on other women so self awareness is important too)

Disclaimer #3: None of this is personal

None of the examples here are real – and none of this is personal.

All examples decided before I came in today.

Disclaimer #4: You do not need to change.

When I present a customization, tool or option, I am NEVER saying that you should change. I am saying knowledge is useful. Tools are helpful and you can choose how to respond.

Disclaimer #4More Detail

Customizing

2 women: Olga & Nina. Both are: 5‟, baby faced, wear dresses & flats, interested in marketing jobs.

OlgaSocialLoud voiceBrunetteBright colors

NinaIntrovertQuiet voiceBlondePastels

Immutable You

• Elements of your personal self that can be relevant in networking. Even if that‟s not ok.

• Sex

• Height

• Weight/Build

• Attractiveness

• Age

• Accent (usually)

• Race & Ethnicity

Being Judged

It happens.

Mutable You

Somewhat Changeable

• Voice & Accent

• Personal Style

Highly Changeable

Personal Presence

• External

• Clothing

• Shoes

Personal Style

When to Dress Up

Internal You

This is where we talk more about women in networking.

These are the habits, learned behaviors and self-

Shyness & Introversion

Imposter Syndrome

For women, feeling like a fraud is a symptom of a greater problem. We consistently underestimate ourselves. Multiple studies in multiple industries show that women often judge their own performance as worse than it is, while men judge their performance as better than it actually is.” – Lean In, p 29

Confidence

For women, feeling like a fraud is a symptom of a greater problem. We consistently underestimate ourselves. Multiple studies in multiple industries show that women often judge their own performance as worse than it is, while men judge their performance as better than it actually is.” – Lean In, p 29

Raising YourHand

Or just shout it out!

Give Yourself Credit

“Ask a man to explain his success and he will typically credit his own innate qualities and skills. Ask a woman the same question and she will attribute her success to external factors, insisting she did well because she „worked really hard,‟ or „got lucky,‟ or „had help from others.‟” Similarly, when a man fails, he points to factors such as his lack of time studying or lack of interest in the subject. When a woman fails, she‟s more likely to say it was due to her lack of ability.

Nurturing

• “Our entrenched cultural ideas associate men with leadership qualities and women with nurturing qualities and put women in a double bind,” [Deborah Gruenfeld] said. “We believe not only that women are nurturing but that they should be nurturing above all else. When a woman does anything that signals she might not be nice first and foremost, it creates a negative impression and makes us uncomfortable.”

Being an Authority

Speaking Up

“From a very early age, boys are encouraged to take charge and offer their opinions. Teachers interact more with boys, call on them more frequently, and ask them more questions. Boys are also more likely to call out answers, and when they do, teachers usually listen to them. When girls call out, teachers often scold them for breaking the rules and remind them to raise their hands if they want to speak. – Lean In, p 20

Sex

Ambition

• Work, money and success are listed first as a value for men.

• Not for women.

It’s about RESULTS

Networking is not about friends. It‟s about results.

- Focus on it.

- Put energy into it.

- Expect results.

Men & Women in Networking

• "The problem is that women speak to men to relate and men speak to women to impress," Walker said. "Because women speak to relate, men think they're not serious about their business, they always get personal. They're just as serious as the guys are; they just do it differently." - Hazel Walker, author, Business Networking and Sex

• As a sales trainer, I‟ve noticed that men ask for the sale much more readily than do women, who need additional coaching in this area. I‟ve witnessed this phenomenon for years.

• (response from the survey)

Ecosystem

Pieces of the Ecosystem

• The networking environment: the type of event, ratios of men to women, ways of dress, alcohol, etc.

• The people you interact with and understanding their motivations, unspoken views and opinions.

• And how to mix networking best practices with your personal brand and networking challenges.

Architect

DO IT!

Preparation -> Action -> Followup -> Next Steps

Where You Network

• Now - what are the not ideal situations

– people don't want to talk to you (not the perception)

– everyone is way dressier/fancier

– not your field

Environment

• The situation you find yourself in

• Closed group

• Out of place: age difference, clothing (casual/stained/etc)

• Social vs networking event

Lean In Networking: Steps

• Know your personal brand

• Learn the mechanics of networking

• Understand your challenges and strengths

• Perceive the needs and views of those around you

• Want to Lean In

= Lean In Networking

Questions?

Jasmine Sante

Sante Strategies

mjsante@santestrategies.com

@mjsante