Last Week…1. Anger is a God-given emotion2. Unresolved Anger will lead to sin3. No matter what has been done to you, you must

forgive.4. When the feeling of anger arises within you,

respond to God rather than react to people.5. Two Questions to change your life:

a) What am I angry about?b) What am I going to do with my anger?

Understanding the Sources of Anger

Most of our hot buttons are rooted in the lies written on our hearts.

You’ll never amount to anything.

Why can’t you be more like your brother?

If you had a brain, you’d be dangerous!

This is how daddy shows his love.

I’m leaving your mother.

If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times!

You were a mistake.

You’re just like your dad.

Stupid!

Your mom and I never planned on having you.

When will you ever learn?!

Luke 6:45 (NLT)

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

You’ll never amount to anything.

Why can’t you be more like your brother?

If you had a brain, you’d be dangerous!

This is how daddy shows his love.

I’m leaving your mother.

If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times!

You were a mistake.

You’re just like your dad.

Stupid!

Your mom and I never planned on having you.

When will you ever learn?!

You’ll never amount to anything.

Why can’t you be more like your brother?

If you had a brain, you’d be dangerous!

This is how daddy shows his love.

I’m leaving your mother.

If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times!

You were a mistake.

You’re just like your dad.

Stupid!

Your mom and I never planned on having you.

When will you ever learn?!

WORTHLESS

DON’T MEASURE UP

HUMILIATION

DEVALUED

DISCONNECTION/ REJECTION

FAILURE

DEFECTIVE

JUDGED

SCORNED

UNWANTED

INFERIORITY

When he feels…Controlled, Judged, Like a failure

He then…

Withdraws from the conversation,

defends his opinions, gets

sarcastic

When she feels…Disconnected, Abandoned, Rejected

She then…

Escalates – raises her word count,

Exaggerates – using “Always” and

“Never”, Creates negative beliefs -

assigns motives to actions

James 4:1 (NLT)

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?

Tactics to Break the Cycle of Anger

• Tactic 1: Call a Time-Out

James 1:19 (NLT)

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Tactics to Break the Cycle of Anger

• Tactic 1: Call a Time-Out• Tactic 2: Cry Out to God

James 4:6 (NIV1984)

But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Tactics to Break the Cycle of Anger

• Tactic 1: Call a Time-Out• Tactic 2: Cry Out to God• Tactic 3: Commit to Forgiving the Other Person

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT)

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Tactics to Break the Cycle of Anger

• Tactic 1: Call a Time-Out• Tactic 2: Cry Out to God• Tactic 3: Commit to Forgiving the Other Person• Tactic 4: Choose a Different Reaction

James 1:24 (NIV)

and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

James 1:25 (NIV)

But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Tactics to Break the Cycle of Anger

• Tactic 1: Call a Time-Out• Tactic 2: Cry Out to God• Tactic 3: Commit to Forgiving the Other Person• Tactic 4: Choose a Different Reaction• Tactic 5: Create Judgment-Free Zones

Matthew 7:5 (NLT)

Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

3 Expressions of Anger

1. Repay it

Romans 12:19 (NLT)

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

1 Peter 3:9 (NLT)

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

3 Expressions of Anger

1. Repay it2. Replay it

Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

3 Expressions of Anger

1. Repay it2. Replay it3. Resolve it

Romans 12:17-18 (NLT)

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Guard your heart.