la casa de la paz€¦ · la casa de la paz 1 dedication this book is dedicated to all who come...

LaCasadeLaPaz

“Bestill,andknowthatIamGod”

(Psalms46:10,NIV).

“ForGodisnotaGodofconfusionbutofpeace”

(1Corinthians14:33,NASB).

“ExcepttheLordbuildthehouse,theylabourinvainthatbuildit”

(Psalm127:1,KJV).

E-mail:[email protected]:(502)77621017

PrintedApril2015Panajachel,Sololá,Guatemala.

LaCasadeLaPaz

1

Dedication Thisbookisdedicatedtoallwhocomefrompoorandhumbleplaces,andhavelittleinthewayofeducation,power,moneyorinfluence.Duetoyearsofabuse,manyhavelittlefreedomtoevenspeak;theemotionsthatseemtoruleareofhelplessness,depression,andfear.Therearethosesoplunderedbody,soulandspiritit'sdifficultforthemtofindtheirvoiceortobelieve,thatanyonewouldreallywanttohearwhattheyhavetosay.Thesearethevoicelesspoorandtheyareourmosthonoredmembers.Theirstoriesaremostimportant,fortheyhaveyettobetold.

“AtthatverytimeJesusrejoicedgreatlyintheHolySpirit,andsaid,IpraiseYou,OFather,Lordofheavenandearth,thatyouhavehiddenthesethingsfromthewiseand

intelligentandhaverevealedthemtoinfants.Yes,Father,forthiswaywaswell-pleasinginYoursight”(Luke10-21,NASB).

“Listen,mybelovedbrethren:didnotGodchoosethepoorofthisworldtoberichinfaithandheirsofthekingdomwhichHepromisedtothosewholoveHim?”

(James2:5,NASB)

LaCasadeLaPaz

2

TheLord’sPrayerThisistheprayerourLordJesusChristgavehisdisciplestopray

afterHetoldthem,“YourheavenlyFatheralreadyknowswhatyouneedbeforeyouaskHim.”Pray,theninthisway:

“OurFatherwhoisinheaven,hallowedbeyourname,yourkingdomcome,

yourwillbedoneonearthasitisinheaven.Giveustodayourdailybread.

forgiveusourdebts,Aswealsohaveforgivenourdebtors.

Andleadusnotintotemptation,butdeliverusfromtheevilone.

Foryoursisthekingdomandthepowerandthegloryforever”.

(Mathew6:8)

LaCasadeLaPaz

3

PrayerforSerenityGod,grantmetheserenity

toacceptthethingsIcannotchange,thecouragetochangethethingsIcan,andthewisdomtoknowthedifference.

Livingonedayatatime,Enjoyingonemomentatatime;

acceptinghardshipasapathwaytopeace;taking,asJesusdid,

thissinfulworldasitis;notasIwouldhaveit;

trustingthatYouwillmakeallthingsrightifIsurrendertoYourwill;

sothatImaybereasonablyhappyinthislifeandsupremelyhappywithYouforeverinthenext.

Amen.

LaCasadeLaPaz

4

SMALLGROUPGUIDELINES

1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings. Limit your

sharingtothreetofiveminutes.

2. There is NO cross talk. Cross talk is when two individuals engage in

conversation excluding all others. Each person is free to express his or her

feelingswithoutinterruptions.

3. Weareheretosupportoneanother,notto“fix”another.

4. Anonymityandconfidentialityarebasicrequirements.What issharedinthe

groupstays in thegroup.Theonlyexception iswhensomeonethreatensto

injurethemselvesorothers.

5. OffensivelanguagehasnoplaceinaChrist-centeredrecoverygroup.

LaCasadeLaPaz

5

TheBattleistheLord´s

“Bewiseinwhatisgoodand

innocentinwhatisevil,and

theGodofpeacewillsoon

crushSatanunderyourfeet”

(Romans16:19-20,NASB).

AXIOMS

Firstthings,first.

Onedayatatime.

Littlebylittle.

LaCasadeLaPaz

6

TWELVESTEPSANDTHEIRBIBLICALCOMPARISONS

HerearetheStepswetook,whicharesuggestedasaprogramofrecovery:

1. Weadmittedwewerepowerlessoverouraddictionsandcompulsivebehaviors,thatourliveshadbecomeunmanageable(outofcontrol).“ForIknowthatgooditselfdoesnotdwellinme,thatis,inmysinfulnature.ForI

havethedesiretodowhatisgood,butIcannotcarryitout”(Romans7:18,NIV).

2. Wecametobelievethatapowergreaterthanourselvescouldrestoreustosanity.

“ForitisGodwhoworksinyoutowillandtoactinordertofulfillhisgoodpurpose”(Philippians2:13,NIV).

3. WemadeadecisiontoturnourlivesandourwillsovertothecareofGod.

“Therefore,Iurgeyou,brothersandsisters,inviewofGod’smercy,toofferyourbodiesasalivingsacrifice,holyandpleasingtoGod,thisisyourtrueandproper

worship”(Romans12:1,NIV).

4. Wemadeasearchingandfearlessmoralinventoryofourselves.“Letusexamineourwaysandtestthem,andletusreturntotheLord”

(Lamentations3:40,NIV).

5. WeadmittedtoGod,toourselves,andtoanotherhumanbeingthe“exactnature”ofourwrongs.

“YourwordisalamptomyfeetAndalighttomypath”(Psalm119:105,NASB).

“Thereforeconfessyoursinstoeachotherandprayforeachothersothatyoumaybehealed”(James5:16,NIV).

6. WeareentirelyreadytohaveGodremoveallthesedefectsofcharacter.

“HumbleyourselvesbeforetheLord,andHewillliftyouup”(James4:10,NIV).

LaCasadeLaPaz

7

7. WehumblyaskedHimtoremoveallourshortcomings.“Ifweconfessoursins,Heisfaithfulandjustandwillforgiveusoursinsandpurify

usfromallunrighteousness”(1John1:9,NIV).

8. Wemadealistofallpersonswehadharmedandbecamewillingtomakeamendstothemall.

“Dotootherasyouwouldhavethemdotoyou”(Luke6:31,NIV).

9. Wemadedirectamendstosuchpeoplewheneverpossible,exceptwhentodosowouldinjurethemorothers.“Therefore,ifyouareofferingyourgiftatthealtarandthererememberthatyourbrotherorsisterhassomethingagainstyou,leaveyourgiftthereinfrontofthe

altar.Firstgoandbereconciledtothem;thencomeandofferyourgift”(Matthew5:23-24,NIV).

10. Wecontinuedtotakepersonalinventoryandwhenwewerewrong,promptly

admittedit.“So,ifyouthinkyouarestandingfirm,becarefulthatyoudon’tfall!”

(1Corinthians10:12,NIV).

11. Wesought throughprayerandmeditationto improveourconsciouscontactwithGod,prayingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandpowertocarrythatout.

“LetthemessageofChristdwellamongyourichly”(Colossians3:16,NIV).

12. Havinghadaspiritualexperienceastheresultofthesesteps,wetrytocarrythismessagetoothersandtopracticetheseprinciplesinallouraffairs.“Brothersandsisters,ifsomeoneiscaughtinasin,youwholivebytheSpiritshould

restorethatpersongently.Butwatchyourselves,oryoualsomaybetempted”(Galatians6:1,NIV).

“Outoftheabundanceoftheheartthemouthspeaks”(Matthew12:34,NKJV).

LaCasadeLaPaz

8

Step1Weadmittedwewerepowerlessoverouraddictionsand

compulsivebehaviors,thatourliveshadbecomeunmanageable(outofcontrol).

IrealizeI’mnotGod.IadmitthatIampowerlesstocontrolmytendencytodothe

wrongthingandthatmylifeisunmanageable(outofcontrol).

“ForIknowthatgooditselfdoesnotdwellinme,thatis,inmysinfulnature.ForIhavethedesiretodowhatisgood,butIcannotcarryitout”(Romans7:18,NIV).

“Happyarethosewhoknowtheyarespirituallypoor;theKingdomofheavenbelongstothem!”(Matthew5:3,GNT).

DENIAL Step 1 Review: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions andcompulsivebehaviors, thatour liveshadbecomeunmanageable (outof control).WerealizedthatwewerenotGod.

“ForIknowthatgooditselfdoesnotdwellinme,thatis,inmysinfulnature.”“ForIhavethedesiretodowhatisgood,butIcannotcarryitout”(Romans7:18,NIV).

“Happyarethosewhoknowtheyarespirituallypoor”(Mathew5:3,GNT).

ThinkAboutThis

Beforewecantakethefirststepofourrecovery,wemustfirstfaceandadmitourdenial.Godtellsus.

“Youcan’thealawoundbysayingit’snotthere!”(Jeremiah6:14,TLB).

Denialdisablesourfeelings

Byrepressingourfeelingswefreezeouremotions.Understandingandfeelingourfeelingsisfreedom.

“Theypromisethemfreedom,whiletheythemselvesareslavesofdestructivehabits–forweareslavesofanythinghasconqueredus”(2Peter2:19,GNT).

LaCasadeLaPaz

9

Denialisenergylost

Asideeffectofourdenialisanxiety.Anxietycausesustowastepreciousenergyrunning fromour past andworrying about and dreading the future. It is only in thepresent,today,wherepositivechangecanoccur.

“Hegivesjusticetothepoorandoppressedandfoodtothehungry.Hefreestheprisoners”(Psalm146:7,TLB).

“Cometome,allofyouwhoaretiredfromcarryingheavyloads,andIwillgiveyourest”(Matthew11:28,GNT).

Denialgeneratesanxiety

Weallowthatourfearsandourworriesstopus,buttheonlywayhowwecanbefreeofthemisbyfirstadmittingtheyexistandthengivingthemuptoGod.

“ComotoMe,allwhoarewearyandheavy-laden,andIwillgiveyourest.TakemyyokeuponyouandlearnfromMe,forIamgentleandhumbleinheart,andyouwillfindrestforyoursouls.ForMyyokeiseasyandMyburdenislight”(Matthew11:28-30,NASB).

Denialnegatesgrowth

Weare“assickasoursecrets.”Wecannotgrowinrecoveryuntilwearereadytostepoutofourdenialintothetruth.Whywouldoursecretsmakeussick?

“TheycriedtotheLordintheirtroubles,andHerescuedthem!Heledthemfromtheirdarknessandshadowofdeathandsnappedtheirchains”(Psalm107:13-14,TLB).

DenialisolatesusfromGod

God’slightshinesonthetruth.Ourdenialkeepsusinthedark.

“GodisLight;inHimthereisnodarknessatall.IfweclaimtohavefellowshipwithHimyetwalkinthedarkness,welieanddonotliveoutthetruth.Butifwewalkinthelight,asHeisinthelight,wehavefellowshipwithoneanother,andthebloodofJesus,his

Son,purifiesusfromallsin”(1John1:5-7,NIV).

Denialalienatesusfromourrelationships

Denialtellsuswearegettingawaywithit.Wethinknooneknowsbuttheydo.

Whatistheanswer?

Step1

LaCasadeLaPaz

10

“Stoplyingtoeachother;tellthetruth,forwearepartsofeachotherandwhenwelietoeachotherwearehurtingourselves”(Ephesians4:25,TLB).

Deniallengthensthepain

Wehavethefalsebeliefthatdenialprotectsusfromourpain.Inreality,denialallowsourpaintofesterandgrowandturnintoshameandguilt.

“God’sPromise:Iwillgiveyoubackyourhealthagainandhealyourwounds”(Jeremiah30:17,TLB).

Acceptthefirstprincipleofrecovery.Stepoutofyourdenial!StepintoyourHigherPower’s–JesusChrist’s–unconditionalloveandgrace!

Meditation–Discussion–Action

1. Whatareasofyourlifedoyouhavepower(control)over?Bespecific

2. Whatareasofyourlifeareoutofcontrol,unmanageable?Bespecific

3. Howdoyouthinktakingthisfirststepwillhelpyou?

4. Asachild,whatcopingskillsdidyouusetogetattentionortoprotectyourself?

5. Inyourfamilyoforigin,whatwasthe“familysecret”thateveryonewastryingtoprotect?

6. Howdoyouhandlepainanddisappointment?

7. Howcanyoubegintoaddressyourdenial?

8. Inwhatareasof your life are younowbeginning to face reality andbreak theeffectsofdenial?

9. Areyoustartingtodevelopasupportteam?Areyouaskingforphonenumbersinyourmeetings?

PowerlessThinkAboutthis

Whenweaccept the first recoveryprincipleand take that first stepoutofourdenialandintoourreality,weseethereareveryfewthingsthatwereallyhavecontrolover.Onceweadmit thatbyourselveswearepowerlesswecanstop livingwith thefollowing“serenityrobbers.”

LaCasadeLaPaz

11

Loneliness

Loneliness isachoice. In recoveryand inChrist,youneverhave towalkalone.Communityisanimportantpartofourrecoveryprogram.

“Continuetoloveeachotherwithtruebrotherlylove.”“Don’tforgettobekindtostrangers,forsomewhohavedonethishaveentertainedangelswithoutrealizingit!”

(Hebrews13:1-2,TLB).

Onlyifs

Our“onlyifs”inlifekeepustrappedinthefantasylandofrationalization!

“Whateveriscoveredupwillbeuncovered,andeverysecretwillbemadeknown.”“Sothen,whateveryouhavesaidinthedarkwillbeheardinbroaddaylight”

(Luke12:2-3,GNT).

Separation

SomepeopletalkaboutfindingGod–asifHecouldevergetlost!

“DrawneartoGodandHewilldrawneartoyou”(James4:8,NASB).

“ForIamconvincedthatnothingcaneverseparateusfromhislove.Deathcan’t,andlifecan’t.Theangelswon’tandallthepowersofhellitselfcannotkeepGod’slove

away.Ourfearsfortoday,ourworriesabouttomorrow,orwhereweare–highabovethesky,orinthedeepestocean–nothingwilleverbeabletoseparateusfromthelove

ofGoddemonstratedbyourLordJesusChristwhenhediedforus”(Romans8:38-39,TLB).

Worry

WorryingisaformofnottrustingGodenough!

“Sodon’tbeanxiousabouttomorrow.Godwilltakecareofyourtomorrowtoo.Liveonedayatatime”(Matthew6:34,TLB).

Pride

Ignorance+power+pride=adeadlymixture!

Step1

LaCasadeLaPaz

12

I’msmarter;I’mstrongerthanmyproblems.Idon’tneedhelp.Thereisanothertemptationtopride,thetemptationbythespousetothinktheycanmaketheirpartnersober,noonecanmakeanotherpersonsober.

“Prideendsinafall,whilehumilitybringshonor”(Proverbs29:23,TLB).

Escape

By living indenialwemayhaveescaped intoaworldof fantasyandunrealisticexpectationsofourselvesandothers.

“Forlightiscapableofshowingupeverythingforwhatitreallyis.”“Itisevenpossibleforlighttoturnthethingitshinesuponintolightalso”(Ephesians5:13-14,PH).

Resentments

Resentmentsactlikeanemotionalcanceriftheyareallowedtofesterandgrow.

“Inyourangerdonotsin:donotletthesungodownwhileyouarestillangry,anddonotgivethedevilafoothold”(Ephesians4:26-27,NIV).

Emptiness

Youknowthatemptyfeelingdeep inside.Thecoldwindofhopelessnessblowsrightthroughit.WehaveanemptyplaceinourheartsthatonlyGodcantrulyfill.

“Jesussaid,thethief(theserenityrobber)comesonlytostealandkillanddestroy;Icamethattheymayhavelife,haveitabundantly”(John10:10,NASB).

Selfishness

Weoftenpray:OurFatherwhichartinheaven;giveme,giveme,giveme.

“Whoeverclingstohislifeshallloseit,andwhoeverloseshislifeshallsaveit”(Luke17:33,TLB).

Congratulations!

InyouradmissionofyourpowerlessnessyouhavebegunthejourneyofrecoverythatwillallowyoutoacceptthetrueonlyHigherPower’s–JesusChrist–healing,love,andforgiveness.

Atthisstateinyourrecovery,youneedtostopdoingtwothings:

LaCasadeLaPaz

13

1. StopDenyingthePainYouare ready to takeyour first step in recoverywhenyourpain is greaterthanfear.LetGodintohelp.

“Pityme,OLord,forIamweak.Healme,formybodyissick,andIamupsetanddisturbed.Mymindisfilledwithapprehensionandwithgloom”(Psalm6:2-3,TLB).

2.StopPlayingGodYourproblemsarebiggerthanyouare,butGodisbiggerthanyourproblems.

YouareunabletodoforyourselfwhatyouneedGodtodoforyou.YouareeithergoingtoserveGodoryourself.Youcan’tserveboth.

“Youcannotbeaslaveoftwomasters;youwillhateoneandlovetheother;youwillbeloyaltooneanddespisetheother”(Matthew6:24,GNT).

Inadditiontostoppingcertainbehaviors,youneedtostartdoingtwothings:

1. StartAdmittingYourPowerlessnessAsyouworkthefirstprincipleyouwillseethatbyyourself,youdonothavethepowertochangeyourhurts,hang-ups,andhabits.

Jesus…said,“Withmanthisisimpossible,butwithGodallthingsarepossible”(Matthew19:26,ESV).

2. StartAdmittingThatYourLifeHasBecomeUnmanageableYoucan finallystartadmitting thatsomeorallareasofyour lifeareoutofyourcontroltochange.

“Problemsfartoobigformetosolvearepiledhigherthanmyhead.”“Meanwhilemysins,toomanytocount,haveallcaughtupwithmeandIamashamedtolookup”

(Psalm40:12,TLB).


1. Listsomewaysthatyourpridehasstoppedyoufromaskingforandgettingthehelpyouneedtoovercomeyourhurts,hang-ups,andhabits.

2. Whatinyourpasthascausedyoutohavethe“ifonlys”?

3. Insteadofworryingaboutthingsthatwecannotcontrol,weneedtofocusonwhatGodcandoinourlives.Whatareyouworryingabout?Why?Whatisrobbingyouofyourserenity?

Step1

LaCasadeLaPaz

14

4. Inwhatwayshaveyoutriedtoescapeyourpastpain?Bespecific.

5. Howhasholdingontoyourangerandyourresentmentsaffectedyou?

6. Doyoubelievethatlonelinessisachoice?Whyorwhynot?Howhasyourdenialisolatedyoufromyourimportantrelationships?

7. Describetheemptinessyoufeelandsomenewwaysyouarefindingtofillit?

8. Selfishnessisattheheartofmostproblemsbetweenpeople.Inwhatareasofyourlifehaveyoubeenselfish?

SeparationfromGodcanfeelveryreal,butitisneverpermanent.WhatcanyoudotogetclosertoGod?

RememberthiswiththeFirstStep“Weadmittedwewerepowerlessandourlivesareoutofcontrol.”

1. Ifwedon’tunderstandthisfirstStepwhatfollowswillbeoflittlehelp.Canyouseewhy?

2. Inourfamiliesalcohol isthemostcommonlyabusedsubstance.Themixtureofalcohol+machismo=disaster.Addingtothetragedyisanabuserwhooftenhaslittleornoawarenessofthehurtheiscausingthosearoundhim.

3. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and as the addiction grows so does itsegocentricmentality.As thealcoholic loseshisability toengage the realworldresponsibly,mentalpassivityandtakingthepathsofleastresistancegrow.Inthismentalshiftthereisamoveintotheworldofillusions.Illusionsarefalseideasandconceptsapersonbelievestobetrue.“I’mincontrol,I’mnotadrunk.I’mhonest,theyfailedme,I’msmarterandstrongerthanmyproblems,etc.”Itisinthenatureof thealcoholic togiveor insomecases forcebythreat;his fantasiesonotherfamilymembers.

4. Havinganalcoholicinthefamilycreatesalotofconfusionandthishasaffectedmy identity. Alcoholism is a family disease and creates a lot of confusion incompromisingouridealsandouridentities.Inthepastwefoundafalsepeaceinplayingalongwithallthegamesalcoholicslovetoplay.

5. Imaynotbeanalcoholicbutthealcoholhascometohaveapowerfulinfluenceonme.ThroughthealcoholicIsufferthediseaseaswell.Thisistrueofallvictimsofeverykindofabuse.

LaCasadeLaPaz

15

6. Becausealcoholism isa “familydisease”abigpartof recovery comesaseveryfamilymemberestablishesaclearsenseofpersonal identitythatonlyGodcantrulygive.

7. Beingincontrolisanillusion.Lettinggoreleasesusfromthefalseideathatwecanmakeanotherpersonsober.

8. Ittakesgreathonestyandcouragetoadmitthefirststep,thatIamnotGod.

9. We used to think “There must be something more I can do.” We come tounderstandourlimitations.

10. Wecometoadmitthatsomeofourdemandsandexpectationswereimpossibleforthealcoholictorespondto.Oncewebegintounderstandthenatureofthesicknesswebegintoseethatevensomeofourgoodintentionswerepartoftheproblem.

11. Acceptanceofthefirststepisnotasignofweaknessbutofwisdom.Itisthefirststep to serenity and peace. You are not the cause of the alcoholic being analcoholic.Youarenotthesolution,orthecureeither.

12. By the process of elimination we begin to discover what areas we are notpowerlessover.ThisiswhytheSerenityPrayerissoimportant.

13. Itispossibletofindcontentmentandhappinessregardlessoftheother’sbehavior.Millionshavefoundpeaceandtranquilitythroughthesetwelvestepsandsocanwe.

Step1

LaCasadeLaPaz

16

Step2Wecametobelievethatapowergreaterthanourselves

couldrestoreustosanityandserenity.

EarnestlybelievethatGodexists,thatImattertoHim,andthatHehasthepowertohelpmerecover.

“Happyarethosewhomourn;Godwillcomfortthem!”(Matthew5:4,GNT)


Hope“Irevealedmyselftothosewhodidnotaskforme;Iwasfoundbythosewhodidnot

seekme.Toanationthatdidnotcallonmyname,Isaid,hereamI,hereamI”(Isaiah65:1,NIV).

“AnyonewhocomestoGodmustbelievethatHeexistsandthatHerewardsthosewhoearnestlyseekHim”(Hebrews11:6,NIV).

ThinkAboutThis

InthefirstStepweadmittedwewerepowerless.InStepone,weallhadonethingincommon,wethoughtwewerebigger,smarter,andstrongerthanourproblemsandmostofusdidn’tneedGod.Wefoundoutwewerewrong.ItwasasthoughGodwereontheoutsidelookingin.SteponegivesGodanopeningasHeordersourStepstorealizehowpowerlessandoutofcontrolourlivesreallyare.InthesecondStepwebegintounderstandbeingpowerlessdoesnotmeanwearehelpless.

HowbigisourGod?InSteptwowebegintotakeGodoutofthelittleboxwehavehadhiminbyouregocentricthinking.

Atthesametimewefreeourselvesfromourself-imposedhumanlimits.

In the first Stepweadmittedwewerepowerless.Now in the secondStep,wecometobelieveGodexists,thatweareimportanttoHim,andthatweareabletoreceiveGod’spowertohelpusrecover.It’sinthesecondStepwefindHOPE.

LaCasadeLaPaz

17

HigherPower

OurHigherPowerhasaname:JesusChrist!Jesusdesiresahands-on,day-to-day,moment-to-momentrelationshipwithus.Hecandoforuswhatwehaveneverbeenabletodoforourselves.

“EverythingcomesfromGodalone.Everythinglivesbyhispower”(Romans11:36,TLB).

“OurHigherPowertellsus:Mygraceisenoughforyou,forwherethereisweakness,mypowerisshownthemorecompletely”(2Corinthians12:9,PH).

Opennesstochange

Throughoutourlives,wewillcontinuetoencounterhurtsandtrialsthatwearepowerlesstochange.WithGod’shelp,weneedtobeopentoallowthosetrialstochangeus.Tomakeusbetter,notbitter.

“Nowyourattitudesandthoughtsmustallbeconstantlychangingforthebetter.Yes,youmustbeanewanddifferentperson”(Ephesians4:23,TLB).

PowertoChange

Inthepast,wehavewantedtochangeandwereunabletodoso.Wecouldnotfreeourselvesfromourhurts,hang-ups,orhabits. InStep2,wecometounderstandthatGod’spowercanchangeusandoursituation.

“ForIcandoeverythingGodasksmetowiththehelpofChriswhogivesmethestrengthandthepower”(Philippians4:13,TLB).

“Leadme;teachme;foryouaretheGodwhogivesmesalvation.Ihavenohopeexceptinyou”(Psalm25:5,TLB).

Expecttochange

Remember you are only at the second Step. Don’t quit before the miraclehappens!WithGod’shelp,thechangesthatyouhavelongedforarejuststepsaway.

“IamsurethatGodwhobeganthegoodworkwithinyouwillkeeprightonhelpingyougrowninhisgraceuntilhistaskwithinyouisfinallyfinishedonthatdaywhenJesus

Christreturns”(Philippians1:6,TLB).

Howdowefindhope?ByfaithinourHigherPower,JesusChrist.

Step2

LaCasadeLaPaz

18

“Nowfaithisconfidenceinwhatwehopeforandassuranceaboutwhatwedonotsee”(Hebrews11:1,NIV).


1. Beforetakingthisstep,wherewereyoutryingtofindhope?2. WhatdoyoubelieveaboutGod?WhataresomeofHischaracteristics?3. HowareyourfeelingsforyourheavenlyFatherandyourearthlyfatheralike?How

dotheydiffer?4. HowcanyourrelationshipswithyourHigherPower,JesusChrist,helpyoustepout

ofyourdenialandfacereality?5. InwhatareasofyourlifeareyounowreadytoletGodhelpyou?6. Whatthingsareyoureadytochangeinyourlife?Wherecanyougetthepowerto

changethem?

Sanity Step2review:Wecametobelievethatapowergreaterthanourselvescouldrestoreustosanityandserenity.

“Happyarethosewhomourn;Godwillcomfortthem!”(Mathew5:4,GNT).


“ForGodisnotaGodofconfusionbutofpeace”(1Corinthians14:33,NASB).

ThinkAboutThis

Insanityhasbeendescribedasreactingtothesamethingoverandoveragainandexpectingadifferentresulteachtime.

Sanity has been defined as acting out of an inner serenity of mind; makingdecisionsbasedongraceandtruth.

ThefollowingaresomeofthegiftswewillreceivewhenwebelievethatourHigherPower,JesusChrist,hasthepowerandwillrestoreustoSANITY!

Trust

WebegintotrustrelationshipswithothersandourHigherPower,JesusChrist!

LaCasadeLaPaz

19

“Itisdangeroustobeconcernedwithwhatothersthinkofyour,butifyoutrusttheLord,youaresafe”(Proverbs29:25,GNT).

Strength

Jesusgivesusstrengthtofacethefearsthatinthepasthavecausedustofight,fleeorfreeze.

“Godisourrefugeandourstrength,anever-presenthelpintrouble”(Psalm46:1,NIV).

“Mymindandmybodymaygrowweak,butGodismystrength;heisallIeverneed”(Psalm73:26,GNT).

Newlife

Whenweare consciousofHis presence,we start to loseour fearof today, oftomorrow,ofthefuture.Wehaveanewlife.

“WhensomeonebecomesaChristianhebecomesabrandnewpersoninside.Heisnotthesameanymore.Anewlifehasbegun!”(2Corinthians5:17,TLB).

YourHigherPower,JesusChrist,lovesyoujustthewayyouare!

Nomatterwhatyouhavedoneinthepast,Godwantstoforgiveit!

“Whilewewerestillsinners,Christdiedforus”(Romans5:8,NIV).

Nomatterwhatshapeyourlifeisintoday,togetherGodandyoucanhandleit!

“AndGodisfaithful;Hewillnotletyoubetemptedbeyondwhatyoucanbear.Butwhenyouaretempted,Hewillalsoprovideawayout”(1Corinthians10:13,NIV).

Andifyoutakeactiontocompletethenextprinciple,yourfuturewillbeblessedandsecure.


Arealsupport

Webelievedthatwedidn’tneedGod’shelp,strengthorpower.It’sasifweweredisconnectedfromourrealsourceofpower–God!

Step2

LaCasadeLaPaz

20

“ButinallthesethingsweoverwhelminglyconquerthroughHimwholovedus.ForIamconvincedthatneitherdeath,norlife,norangels,norprincipalities,northingspresent,northingstocome,norpowers,norheight,nordepth,noranyothercreatedthing,will

beabletoseparateusfromtheloveofGod,whichisinChristJesusourLord”(Romans8:37-39,NASB).

Integrity

Webegintofollowthroughonourpromises.Othersstarttrustingwhatwesay.

“Nothingbringsmegreaterjoythanhearingthatmychildrenarelivinginthetruth”(3John1:4,PH).

Acceptance

Welearntohaverealisticexpectationsofourselvesandothers.

“Acceptoneanother,then,forthegloryofGod,asChrishasacceptedyou”(Romans15:7,GNT).


1. HowcanIpracticallyapplyStep2inmylife?

2. Whatthingshaveyoubeendoingoverandoveragain,expectingadifferentresulteachtime(insanity)?

3. Whatisyourdefinitionofsanity?

4. How have your past expectations of yourself or others been unrealistic? Giveexamples.

5. Inthepast,howhastrustingonlyinyourownfeelingsandemotionsgottenyouintrouble?

6. How can your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, help restore you to make sanedecisions?Howdoyougetasecondchance?

7. WhatareasofyourlifeareyoureadytoreleasecontrolofandhandovertoGod?Bespecific

LaCasadeLaPaz

21

Step3

WemadeadecisiontoturnourlivesandourwillsovertothecareofGod.

ConsciouslychoosetocommitallmylifeandwilltoChrist’scareandcontrol.

“Blessedarethemeek,fortheywillinherittheearth”(Matthew5:5,NIV).

“Godlysorrowbringsrepentancethatleadstosalvationandleavesnoregret,butworldlysorrowbringsdeath”(2Corinthians7:10,NIV).

“ThekindnessofGodleadsyoutorepentance”(Romans2:4,NASB).

“Therefore,Iurgeyou,brothersandsisters,inviewofGod’smercy,toofferyourbodiesasalivingsacrifice,holyandpleasingtogod–thisisyourtrueandproperworship”

(Romans12:1,NIV).

TurnThinkAboutThis

HowdoyouTURNyourlifeovertotheoneandonlyHigherPower,JesusChrist?

Trust

Decidingtoturnyour lifeandyourwillovertoGodrequiresonlytrust.Trust isputtingthefaithyoufoundinStep2intoaction.

“IfyouconfessthatJesusisLordandbelievethatGodraisedhimfromdeath,youwillbesaved”(Romans10:9,GNT).

Repent

Totrulyrepent,youmustnotonlyturnawayfromyoursins,butturntowardGod.RepentanceallowsyoutoenjoythefreedomofourlovingrelationshipwithGod.

“Turnfromyoursinsandactonthisgloriousnews!”(Mark1:15,TLB).

“Don’tlettheworldaroundyousqueezeyouintoitsownmold,butletGodremakeyousothatyourwholeattitudeofmindischanged”(Romans12:2,PH).

LaCasadeLaPaz

22

Understand

Relyingsolelyonyourownunderstandinggotyouintorecoveryinthefirstplace!AfteryoumakethedecisiontoaskJesusintoyourlife,youneedtobegintoseekHiswillforyourlifeinallyourdecisions.

“TrustintheLordwithallyourheartandleannotonyourownunderstanding;inallyourwayssubmittoHimandHewillmakeyourpathsstraight”(Proverbs3:5-6,NIV).

GoodNews

AfteryouaskJesusintoyourheart,youwillhaveanewlife!Youwillnolongerbeboundtoyouroldsinnature.GodhasdeclaredyouNOTGUILTY,andyounolongerhavetoliveunderthepowerofsin!

“NowGodsayshewillacceptandacquitus-declaresusnotguilty-ifwetrustJesusChristtotakeawayoursins”(Romans3:22,TLB).

InitiateNewLife

Thenewlifethatyouwillreceiveistheresultofcarryingouttheactionsthatwehavejustfinished:Totrust,torepent,tolookfortheunderstandingandreceivethegoodnewsofsalvation.

“Foryouhavebeenbornagainnotofseedwhichisperishablebutimperishable,thatis,throughthelivingandenduringwordofGod”(1Peter1:23,NASB).

Obedience

“Donotbeconformedtothisworld,butbetransformedbytherenewingofyourmind,sothatyoumayprovewhatthewillofGodis,thatwhichisgoodandacceptable

andperfect”(Romans12:2,NASB).

ToobeywhatGodsaysisthebestassuranceforanewlife,safeunderHisguideandprotection.

TurningyourlifeovertoChristisanonce-in-a-lifetimecommitment!

TurningyourwillovertoHimrequiresadailyrecommitment!

Step3

LaCasadeLaPaz

23


1. Howhasrelyingonyour“ownunderstanding”causedproblemsinyourlife?Bespecific.

2. Whatdoes“repent”meantoyou?Whatdoyouneedtorepentof?

3. Whatdoesthedeclarationof“notguilty”foundinRomans3:22meantoyou?

4. WhenyouturnyourlifeovertoyourHigherPower,JesusChrist,youhavea“newlife”(see2Corinthians5:17).Whatdoesthat“newlife”meantoyou?

Action Step3review:WemadeadecisiontoturnourlivesandourwillsovertothecareofGod.

“Blessedarethemeek,fortheywillinherittheearth”(Matthew5:5,NIV).

“ThekindnessofGodleadsyoutorepentance”(Romans2:4,NASB).

ThinkAboutThis

Evenaftertakingthefirsttwostepswecanstillbestuckinthecycleoffailure:guiltàangeràfearàdepression!

Howdoweget“unstuck?”Howdowegetpastthebarriersofpride,fear,guilt,worry,anddoubtthatkeepusfromtakingthisStep?

TheanswerisweneedtotakeACTION!

AcceptJesusChristasyourHigherPowerandSavior!

MakethedecisiontoaskJesusintoyourheart.Nowisthetimetocommityourlife,toestablishthatpersonalrelationshipwithJesusthatHesodesires.

“IfyouconfesswithyourmouthJesusasLord,andbelieveinyourheartthatGodraisedHimfromthedead,youwillbesaved”(Romans10:9,NASB).

CommittoseekandfollowHISwill!

Weneed to changeourdefinitionofwillpower:willpower is thewillingness toacceptGod’spower.WeseethatthereisnoroomforGodifwearefullofourselves.

LaCasadeLaPaz

24

“TeachmetodoYourwill,forYouaremyGod;LetYourgoodSpiritleadmeonlevelground”(Psalm143:10,NASB).

Turnitover

“Letgo;letGod!”TurnoverallthebigthingsandthelittlethingsinyourlifetoyourHigherPower.JesusChristwantsarelationshipwithALLofyou.WhatburdensareyoucarryingthatyouwanttoTURNOVERtoGod?

“CometoMe,allwhoarewearyandheavy-laden,andIwillgiveyourest.TakeMyyokeuponyouandlearnfromMe,forIamgentleandhumbleinheart,andyouwillfindrestforyoursouls.ForMyyokeiseasyandMyburdenislight”(Matthew11:28-30,NASB).

It’sonlythebeginning

Inthethirdprinciplewemakeonlytheinitialdecision,thecommitmenttoseekand followGod’swill.OurwalkwithourHigherPower, JesusChrist,beginswith thisdecisionandisfollowedbyalifelongprocessofgrowingasaChristian.

“Godwhobeganthegoodworkwithinyouwillkeeprightonhelpingyougrowninhisgraceuntilhistaskwithinisfinallyfinished”(Philippians1:6,TLB).

Onedayatatime

Recovery happens one day at a time. If we remain stuck in the yesterday orconstantlyworryabouttomorrow,wewillwastetheprecioustimeofthepresent.Wecanonlychangeourhurts,hang-ups,andhabitsinthepresent.



1. WhatdifferenceshaveyounoticedinyourlifenowthatyouhaveacceptedJesusChristasyourHigherPower?

2. Howhasyourdefinitionofwillpowerchangedsinceyouhavebeeninrecovery?

3. WhathaveyoubeenabletoturnovertoGod?

4. WhatdoyoufearturningovertoHiscare?

5. Whatiskeepingyoufromturningthemover?

Step3

LaCasadeLaPaz

25

6. Whatdoesthephrase“liveonedayatatime”meantoyou?

7. Whatisamajorconcerninyourlife?

8. What’sstoppingyoufromturningitovertoyourHigherPower,JesusChrist?

ConsiderThisThemostwonderfulrevelationofwhoGodis,isthat“Godislove”(1John4:16)

howeverGodisalsoSpirit.BecauseloveisfirstspiritualandarevelationofGodthereismuchconfusionastowhatloveis.WebelievethereisanemptyspaceinsideeachofusthatonlyGod’sHoly lovecanfill. Inourmaterialisticworldmentrytofill thatemptyspace with every kind of outward material thing, money, power, popularity, music,politics,drugs,sex,younameit,anythingtotakeawaythelonelinessandpainoflife.Wedon’tbelievetheseformsofself-medicationholdtheanswerstocontentmentandpeace in life, but the Spirit and truth of Jesus Christ does. We seek a truth that isincarnationalmorethanintellectual.Thetruthwillsetusfree,butonlyasweobeyitnotmerelythinkaboutit.

The heart of the success of the 12 Step program is a spiritual awakening inrelationshipwithGod.AsweopenourselvestothewordsofJesus,webegintoseelifefromawholenewpointofview.Wegainanewfaith,anewconfidence,anewserenityinourlives,anewsenseofbelongingandsecurity,andanewsenseofidentityasGod’sveryownchild.

Interestingly,thesame12Stepsoriginallywrittenspecificallyforthealcoholicareofequalimportanceforthefamilyofthealcoholic.Alcoholismistrulyafamilydisease.NotonlydoestheabuserhavetoadmitStep1,thatheispowerlessoverthediseaseandthatlifeisunmanageable,butthefamilydoesalso.ThealcahueteardoesnotrepresenttheloveofGod.Weareintheprocessoflearningawholenewwayoflove,awholenewwayofthinkinganduntilwedoourhousewillnotcompletelybeahouseofpeace.

WhenwecametothesecondStepwe“cametobelievethataPowergreaterthanourselvescouldrestoreustosanity.”Wehadnoideaofwhatsanitywas,andwewereinastateofexhaustion.Inourownpowerwetriedeverythingunderthesuntochangethings.Wetriedadvicefromfriendsandfamily,professionalcounseling,rehabcentersandclinics,booksbyexpertsonaddiction;wewoulddoanythingtoseeourlovedonesetfree.Someofusevenbecameexpertsontheeffectsofalcoholism,alltonoavail.(1Corinthians13:1-2)Attimesweweretooembarrassedtoseekhelp,wewithdrew,webecamelonelyanddepressed.Wehurtasmuchasouraddictedfamilymember.

LaCasadeLaPaz

26

Ourheartsachedforachangesobadlywewoulddoanythingtoseeithappen.Weweresoexhaustedandwounded,wefoundourselvespraying,“GodIturnmywillandlifeovertoyouandyourlovingcare.”Doingthingsmywayhasnotworked.IrealizenowIhavebeenplayingGod,andIrecognizeithasnotworkedatall.Iconfessyouhavenotbeencentralinmylife.NowIchoosetoyieldtoyou.Iwelcomeyoutobethecenterinmy life,myheart,andmyfamily. Iaskyouforgiveness forallmysinstowardsyouFatherGodandtowardseverymemberofmyfamily.Iforgiveallthosewhohavehurtmebyname.Igiveyoumyhouse,Igiveyoumyfamily,Igiveyoumyall.Atthistime,Ispecifically want to give you _________________ (name) ____________________ IreleasehimintoyourlovinghandsandIreleaseallmyworriesandcaresforhimuptoyouLordGod.Iprayyourprotectionandwisdomforhimandthatyouwouldsavehimfromhimself,becauseheishisownworstenemy.Iconfessyouaretheguardianofmyheartandmyhome.Ithankyouforthenewfoundpeaceandfreedomyouaregivingmeandmyfamily,inJesusname,amen!

CongratulationsNowthatyouhavecompletedthefirstthreeStepsinthisguidetothebestofyour

ability,CONGRATULATIONSaremostdefinitelyinorder!

InStep1youfacedyourdenialandadmittedthatbyyourselfyouwerepowerlesstomanageyouraddictiveorcompulsivebehavior.

“ForIknowthatgooditselfdoesnotdwellinme,thatis,inmysinfulnature.ForIhavethedesiretodowhatisgood,butIcannotcarryitout”(Romans7:18,NIV).

InStep2youfoundthehopethatGodcouldandwouldrestoreyoutosanity,andthatonlyHecouldprovidethepowerforyoutorecover.

“ForGodisatworkwithinyou,helpingyouwanttoobeyhim,andthenhelpingyoudowhathewants”(Philippians2:13,TLB).

Andfinally,inStep3,youwereabletotaketheaction,tomakethedecisiontoturnyourlifeandyourwillovertoGod’scareanddirection.

“Andso,dearbrothers,IpleadwithyoutogiveyourbodiestoGod.Letthembealivingsacrifice,holy–thekindhecanaccept.Whenyouthinkofwhathehasdoneforyou,is

thattoomuchtoask?”(Romans12:1,TLB).

NowyouarereadytotakethenextStepinyourjourney.Thenextpartdealswithfacingyourpast–thegoodandthebad.Step4canbedifficult,butrememberyou’re

LaCasadeLaPaz

27

not going through it alone. Your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, and others that He hasplacedalongsideyouonyour“RoadtoRecovery”willbewithyoueverystepoftheway.

Love“Owenothingtoanyoneexcepttoloveoneanother;forhewholoveshisneighborhasfulfilledthelaw.Forthis,youshallnotcommitadultery,youshallnotmurder,youshallnotseal,youshallnotcovet,andifthereisanyothercommandment,itissummedupinthissaying,youshallloveyourneighborasyourself.Lovedoesnowrongtoaneighbor;

thereforeloveloveisthefulfillmentofthelaw”(Romans13:8-10,NASB).

“Ineverything,therefore,treatpeoplethesamewayyouwantthemtotreatyou,forthisistheLawandtheProphets”(Matthew7:12,NASB).

“IfIspeakwiththetonguesofmenandofangels,butdonothavelove,Ihavebecomeanoisygongoraclangingcymbal.IfIhavethegiftofprophecy,andknowallmysteriesandallknowledge;andifIhaveallfaith,soastoremovemountains,butdonothavelove,Iamnothing.AndifIgiveallmypossessionstofeedthepoor,andifIsurrender

mybodytobeburned,butdonothavelove,itprofitsmenothing.

Loveispatient,loveiskindandisnotjealous;lovedoesnotbragandisnotarrogant,

doesnotactunbecomingly;itdoesnotseekitsown,isnotprovoked,doesnottakeintoaccountawrongsuffered,doesnotrejoiceinunrighteousness,butrejoiceswiththe

truth;bearsallthings,believesallthings,hopesallthings,enduresallthings.

Loveneverfails;butiftherearegiftsofprophecy,theywillbedoneaway;iftherearetongues,theywillcease;ifthereisknowledge,itwillbedoneaway.Forweknowinpartandweprophesyinpart;butwhentheperfectcomes,thepartialwillbedoneaway.

WhenIwasachild,Iusedtospeaklikeachild,thinklikeachild,reasonlikeachild;whenIbecameaman,Ididawaywithchildishthings.Fornowweseeinamirrordimly,butthenfacetoface;nowIknowinpart,butthenIwillknowfullyjustasIalsohave

beenfullyknown.Butnowfaith,hope,love,abidethesethree;butthegreatestoftheseislove”(1Corinthians13,NASB).

Step4

LaCasadeLaPaz

28

Wemadeasearchingandfearlessmoralinventoryofourselves.

I’madmittingmyfaults,notsotheworldcanknowthem,butsoIcanbehonest

withmyselfandwithGod.ThemoreweacceptJesus’sgraceandhealingtruths,thelessneedwehave tohideandbedefensiveaboutwhowe really areorused tobe.OurfearlesshonestycomestousasagiftfromGod,aGodwhoalreadyknowseverythingthereistoknowaboutus.Therealquestionis,arewewillingtobeopenenoughtoseeourselvesasclearlyasourHolyGodseesus?Perfectlovecostsoutallfear.MayGod’slovemaybeperfectedinusmoreeveryday.

“Godislove”(1John4:8,NASB).

“Happyarethepureinheart”(Matthew5:8,GNT).

“BythisweknowthatweabideinHimandHeinus,becauseHehasgivenusofHisSpirit”(1John4:13,NASB).

“Thereisnofearinlove.Butperfectlovedrivesoutfear,becausefearhastodowithpunishment.Theonewhofearsisnotmadeperfectinlove.WelovebecauseHefirstlovedus.WhoeverclaimstoloveGodyethatesabrotherandsisterisaliar.For

whoeverdoesnotlovetheirbrotherandsister,whomtheyhaveseen,cannotloveGod,whomtheyhavenotseenandHehasgivenusthiscommand:AnyonewholovesGod

mustalsolovetheirbrotherandsister”(1John4:18-21,NIV).

Moral“Letusexamineourwaysandtestthem,andletusreturntotheLord”

(Lamentations3:40,NIV).

ThinkAboutThisInthisStep,youneedtolist(inventory)allthesignificantevents–goodandbad-

inyourlife.YouneedtobeashonestasyoucanbetoallowGodtoshowyouyourpartandhowthataffectedyouandothers.

Maketime

Step4

LaCasadeLaPaz

29

Setasideaspecialtimetobeginyourinventory.Scheduleanappointmentwithyourself.SetasideadayoraweekendtogetalonewithGod!Clearyourmindofthepresenthasslesofdailylife.

“Thenlistentome.KeepsilenceandIwillteachyouwisdom!”(Job33:33,TLB).

Open

Openyourheartandyourmindtoallowthefeelingsthatthepainofthepasthasblockedorcausedyoutodeny.Tryto“wakeup”yourfeelings!Askyourself,“WhatdoIfeelguiltyabout?WhatdoIresent?WhatdoIfear?AmItrappedinself-pity,alibis,anddishonestthinking?”

“Letmeexpressmyanguish.Letmebefreetospeakoutofthebitternessofmysoul”(Job7:11,TLB).

Rely

Rely on Jesus, your Higher Power, to give you the courage and strength thisexerciserequires.

“LovetheLord,allofyouwhoarehispeople;fortheLordprotectsthosewhoareloyaltohim…socheerup!TakecourageifyouaredependingontheLord”

(Psalm31:23-24,TLB).

Analyze

Analyzeyourpasthonestly.Todoa“searchingandfearlessmoralinventory,”youmuststepoutofyourdenial!

That’sallthatthewordmoralmeans-honest!ThisSteprequireslookingthroughyourdenialofthepastintothetruth!

“TheLordgaveusmindandconscience;wecannothidefromourselves”(Proverbs20:27,GNT).

List

Listboththegoodandthebad.Keepyourinventorybalanced!Ifyoujustlookatall the bad things of your past, youwill distort your inventory and open yourself tounnecessarypain.

“Letusexamineourwaysandtestthem”(Lamentations3:40,NIV).

LaCasadeLaPaz

30

The verse doesn’t say, “Examine only your bad, negative ways.” You need tohonestlyfocusontheprosandtheconsofyourpast!

Asyoucompileyour inventory,youwill find thatyouhavedonesomeharmfulthingstoyourselfandothers.Noone’sinventory(life)isflawless.Wehaveall“missedthemark”insomeareaofourlives.Inrecoverywearenottodwellonthepast,butweneedtounderstanditsowecanbegintoallowGodtochangeus.Jesustoldus:“Icamethattheymayhavelife,andhaveitabundantly”(John10:10,NASB).

Step4Prayer

DearGod,Youknowmypast,allthegoodandthebadthingsthatI’vedone.InthisStep,IaskthatYougivemethestrengthandthecouragetolistthosethingssothatIcan“comeclean”andfacethemandthetruth.PleasehelpmereachouttoothersYouhaveplacedalongmy“roadrecovery”.ThankYouforprovidingthemtohelpmekeep

balancedasIdomyinventory.InChrist’snameIpray,Amen.


1. Wherewillyougoforquiettimetobeginyourinventory?

2. Whatdatehaveyousetasidetostart?Whattime?

3. Whatareyourfearsasyoubeginyourinventory?Why?

4. Whatcanyoudotohelpyou“wakeup”yourfeelings?

5. HowcanyoudescribeyourexperienceofturningyourlifeovertoChrist?

6. HowdoyouattempttoturnoveryourwilltoGod’scareonadailybasis?

7. Listthethingsyouhaveusedtoblockthepainofyourpast.

8. Whathaveyoudon’ttostepoutofyourdenial?

9. Howcanyoucontinuetofindnewwaysoutofyourdenialofthepast?

10. Whyisitimportanttodoawritteninventory?

11. Whataresomeofthegoodthingsyouhavedoneinthepast?

12. Whataresomeofthenegativethingsyouhavedoneinthepast?

13. Do you have a sponsor or accountability partner to help you keep yourinventorybalanced?

Step4

LaCasadeLaPaz

31

SpiritualInventoryPart1“Step4”

Everydaywedoall kindsofphysical inventoryingwith the valueof things.Anexampleiswhenwegotothemarkettobuyfood.Weinventory:Howmuchmoneywehave?Howmuchmoneyweneedtospend?Howmuchcorn,beansandoilwehaveathome?Andhowmuchwewillneed?Takingasearchingandfearlessmoral inventorymeanstoputavalueonthingsbeforeGod,thingsthataregoodandbadinourlives,right and wrong for us and for our family. What good things need to stay and getstronger,andwhatthingsneedtogo,manyexperiencedmembersofourprogramrefertothisstepasthebeginningofhousecleaning.

Cleaninghousedoesnotmakeussuperiororbetterthananyoneelse,infactitisjusttheopposite.InlightoftheholyloveandtruthofGodwearehumbledatwhatweusedtobelikeandwhatwestillareapartfromthegraceofGod.Weareequallyhumbledat thewonderful futureGod’spromiseshold forusandour familiesasGod takesusthroughdetox.

Themorewegrowandunderstand,ourloverelationshipwithJesus,themorewearechallengedtoeliminateeverythingthatwouldseparateusfromHim.“Hopedoesnotdisappoint,becausetheLoveofGodhasbeenpouredoutwithinourheartsthroughtheHolySpiritwhowasgiventous”(Romans5:5,NASB).

ThinkAboutThis

“Searchme,OGod,andknowmyheart;testmythoughts.Pointoutanythingyoufindinmethatmakesyousad,andleadmealongthepathofeverlastinglife”

(Psalm139:23-24,TLB).

Thefollowinglistgivessomeofouradditionalshortcomings(sins)thatcanpreventGodfromworkingeffectivelyinourlives.Readingthroughitandsearchingyourheartwillhelpyougetstartedonyourinventory!

Relationshipwithothers

“Forgiveusoursins,justaswehaveforgiventhosewhohavesinnedagainstus.Don’tbringusintotemptation,butdeliverusfromtheEvilOne”(Matthew6:12-13,TLB).

• Whohashurtyou?

• Againstwhomhaveyoubeenholdingagrudge?

LaCasadeLaPaz

32

• Againstwhomareyouseekingrevenge?

• Areyoujealousofsomeoneelse?

• Whohaveyouhurt?

• Whohaveyoucriticizedorgossipedabout?

• Haveyoujustifiedyourbadattitudebysayingitis“their”fault?

Prioritiesinlife

“Hewillgivethemtoyouifyougivehimfirstplaceinyourlifeandliveashewantsto”(Matthew6:33,TLB).

• AfteracceptingJesusChrist,inwhatareasofyourlifeareyoustillnotputtingGodfirst?

• What in your past is interferingwith you doing God’s will? Your ambition?Pleasures?Job?Hobbies?Money?Friendship?Personalgoals?

Attitude

“Getridofallbitterness,passion,andanger.Nomoreshoutingorinsults,nomorehatefulfeelingsofanysort”(Ephesians4:31,GNT).

• Haveyoualwayscomplainedaboutyourcircumstances?

• Inwhatareasofyourlifeareyouungrateful?

• Haveyougottenangryandeasilyblownupatpeople?

• Haveyoubeensarcastic?

• Whatinyourpastiscausingyoufearoranxiety?

Integrity

“Donotlietoeachother.Youhaveleftyouroldsinfullifeandthethingsyoudidbefore”(Colossians3:9,NCV).

• Inwhatpastdealingswereyoudishonest?

• Haveyoustolenthings?

• Haveyouexaggeratedtomakeyourselflookbetter?

Step4

LaCasadeLaPaz

33

• Inwhatareasofyourpasthaveyouusedfalsehumility?

• HaveyoulivedonewayinfrontofyourChristianfriendsandanotherwayathomeorwork?

• HaveyoumemorizedIsaiah1:18yet?“Come,let’stalkthisover!SaystheLord;nomatterhowdeepthestainofyoursins,Icantakeitoutandmakeyouascleanas freshly fallensnow.Even ifyouarestainedas redascrimson, I canmakeyouwhiteaswool!”


1. RelationshipwithOthers• Whohashurtyou?(Goasfarbackasyoucan.)Howdidtheyspecificallyhurt

you?

• Whoareyouholdingagrudgeagainst?(Seekingrevenge?)

• Whoareyoujealousof?(PastandPresent)Why?

• Whohaveyouhurt?Andhowdidyouhurtthem?

• Whohaveyoubeencriticaloforgossipedabout?Why?

• Howhaveyouattemptedtoplacetheblameonsomeoneelse?(Bespecific.)

• Whatnewhealthyrelationshipshaveyoudevelopedsinceyouhavebeen inrecovery?

2. PrioritiesinLife• WhatareasofyourlifehaveyoubeenabletoturnovertoyourHigherPower,

JesusChrist?

• Afteractingonstep3,inwhatareasofyourlifeareyoustillnotputtingGodfirst?Whynot?

• WhatinyourpastiskeepingyoufromseekingandfollowingGod’swillforyourlife?

• Numberthefollowinglistinorderofyourpersonalpriorities.____career ____Church ____friendships ____ministry____family ____Christ ____money

• Whatareyourpersonalgoalsforthenextninetydays?(Keepitsimple!)

LaCasadeLaPaz

34

3. Attitude• Whatareasinyourlifeareyouthankfulfor?

• Inthepast,whatthingshaveyoubeenungratefulover?

• Whatcausesyoutoloseyourtemper?

• Towhomhaveyoubeensarcastictointhepast?(Giveexamples)

• Whatinyourpastareyoustillworriedabout?

• Howhasyourattitudeimprovedsinceyouhavebeeninrecovery?

4. Integrity• In the past, how have you exaggerated tomake yourself look good? (Give

examples)

• DoesyourwalkasaChristianmatchyourtalk?Areyouractionsthesameatrecoverymeetings,church,home,andwork?

• Inwhatareasofyourpasthaveyouusedfalsehumilitytoimpresssomeone?

• Haveanyofyourpastbusinessdealingsbeendishonest?Haveyoueverstolenthings?

• Listthewaysyouhavebeenabletogetoutofyourdenial(distorted/dishonestthinking)intoGod’struth.

SpiritualInventoryPart2“Step4”

ThinkAboutThis

“Searchme,OGod,andknowmyheart:testmythoughts.Pointoutanythingyoufindinmethatmakesyousad,andleadmealongthepathofeverlastinglife”

(Psalm139:23-24,TLB).

Thefollowinglistgivesthesecondhalfofthelistofourshortcomings(sins)thatcanpreventGodfromworkingeffectivelyinourlives.Readingthroughitandsearchingyourheartwillhelpyougetstartedonyourinventory.

Yourmind

Step4

LaCasadeLaPaz

35

“Donotconformtothepatternofthisworld,butbetransformedbytherenewingofyourmind.ThenyouwillbeabletotestandapprovewhatGod’swillis–hisgood,

pleasingandperfectwill”(Romans12:2,NIV).

• Howhaveyouguardedyourmindinthepast?Denial?

• Have you filled your mind with hurtful and unhealthy movies, televisionprograms,internetsites,magazines,orbooks?

• HaveyoufailedtoconcentrateonthepositivetruthsoftheBible?

Yourbody

“Haven’tyouyetlearnedthatyourbodyisthehomeoftheHolySpiritGodgaveyou,andthatheliveswithinyou?Yourownbodydoesnotbelongtoyou.ForGodhas

boughtyouwithagreatprice.SouseeverypartofyourbodytogiveglorybacktoGod,becauseheownsit”(1Corinthians6:19-20,TLB).

• Inwhatwaysinthepasthaveyoumistreatedyourbody?

• Haveyouabusedalcoholanddrugs?Food?Sex?

• Whatpastactivitiesorhabitscausedharmtoyourphysicalhealth?

Yourfamily

“ButifyouareunwillingtoobeytheLord,thendecidetodaywhomyouwillobey….Butasformeandmyfamily,wewillservetheLord”(Joshua24:15,TLB).

• Inthepast,haveyoumistreatedanyoneinyourfamily?

• Whoinyourfamilydoyouhaveresentmentagainst?

• Whodoyouoweanamendsto?

• Whatisthefamilysecretthatyouhavebeendenying?

Yourchurch

“Letusnotneglectourchurchmeetings,assomepeopledo,butencourageandwarneachother,especiallynowthatthedayofhiscomingbackisdrawingnear”

(Hebrews10:25,TLB).

• Haveyoubeenfaithfultoyourchurchinthepast?

• Haveyoubeencriticalratherthanactive?

LaCasadeLaPaz

36

• Inthepasthaveyoudiscouragedyourfamily’ssupportoftheirchurch?

Asyoucontinueyour inventory,commitPsalm139:23-24(TLB)tomemoryanduseitasaprayer:

“Searchme,OGod,andknowmyheart;testmythoughts.Pointoutanythingyoufindinmethatmakesyousad,andleadmealongthepathofeverlastinglife”

(Psalm139:23-24,TLB).


1. YourMind• SinceacceptingChristasyourHigherPower,howhasGodtransformedyour

mind?(Romans12:2)Whatworldlystandardshaveyougivenup?

• Howhaveyouuseddenialtoattempttoguardyourmind?

• Haveyoufilledorareyoufillingyourmindwithhurtfulandunhealthymovies,televisionprograms,Internetsites,magazinesorbooks?

• Howhaveyou failed toconcentrateon thepositive truthsof theBible? (Bespecific.)

2. YourBody• Whatpastactivitiesorhabitscausedharmtoyourphysicalhealth?

• Inwhatwayshaveyoumistreatedyourbody?

• Ifyouhaveabusedalcohol,drugs,food,orsex,howdidtheynegativelyaffectyourbody?

• WhathaveyoudonetorestoreGod’stemple?

3. YourFamily• Haveyoumistreatedanyoneinyourfamilyverbally,emotionally,orphysically?

• Whoinyourfamilydoyouholdresentmentagainst?Why?

• Canyouthinkofanyonetowhomyouownamends?Why?(Don’tworryaboutactuallymakingthemnow!ThatisStep6)

• Whatisthe“familysecret”thatyouhavekeptdenying?

• How have relationships improved since you have been in recovery? (Bespecific.)

Step4

LaCasadeLaPaz

37

4. YourChurch• Howwouldyourateyourpastparticipationinyourchurch?

_____Veryinvolved_____Semi-activemember_____Sidelinemember_____Attender_____Wentonlyonholidays_____Neverattended

• Priortoyourrecovery,whatwasyourmainreasonforgoingtochurch?

• Have you ever tried to discourage any family members from churchinvolvement?How?Why?

• How has your commitment to your church increased since starting yourrecovery?(Giveexamples.)

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you are ready to move to the next part, Step 5:confessingyourfaultstoGod,yourself,andanotherpersonyoutrust.Takingthisstepwillmoveyouintofreedomfromyourpast.Notonlywillyoufindfreedomasyousharethe secrets of your past with another person, but youwill also receive the “perfectfreedom”ofChrist’scompleteforgivenessforallyourpastshortcomingsandsins.That’sGoodNews!

Step4VersesBalancingtheScale

Helplessness

“ForGodisatworkwithinyou,helpingyoutowanttoobeyhim,andthenhelpingyoudowhathewants”(Philippians2:13,TLB).

Dwellingonthepast

“WhensomeonebecomesaChristianhebecomesabrandnewpersoninside.Heisnotthesameanymore.Anewlifehasbegun!”(2Corinthians5:17,TLB).

Wanting

LaCasadeLaPaz

38

“Anditishewhowillsupplyallyourneedsfromhisrichesinglory,becauseofwhatChristJesushasdoneforus”(Philippians4:19,TLB).

Loneliness

Jesussays,“Iamwithyoualways”(Matthew28:20,TLB).

Oppression,Trouble

“Allwhoareoppressedmaycometohim.Heisarefugeforthemintheirtimesoftrouble”(Psalm9:9,TLB).

Fear,Doubt

“Yes,beboldandstrong!Banishfearanddoubt!Forremember,theLordyourGodiswithyouwhereveryougo”(Joshua1:9,TLB).

Melancholy,Apathy

“ThisisthedaytheLordhasmade.Wewillrejoiceandbegladinit”(Psalm118:24,TLB).

Worry

“Lethimhaveallyourworriesandcares,forheisalwaysthinkingaboutyouandwatchingeverythingthatconcernsyou”(1Peter5:7,TLB).

Step5

LaCasadeLaPaz

39

WeadmittedtoGod,toourselves,andtoanotherhumanbeingtheexactnatureofourwrongs.

Openlyexamineandconfessmyfaultstomyself,toGod,andtosomeoneItrust.

“Happyarethepureinheart”(Matthew5:8,GNT).

Sponsorand/orAccountabilityPartnerThinkAboutThis

FromStep5toStep12wewillneedanaccountabilitypartnerorsponsortofullyexperienceaqualityrecovery.

WhydoIneedasponsorand/oranaccountabilitypartner?

Therearethreereasonswhyhavingasponsorisvital.

1. Havingasponsorand/oraccountabilitypartnerisbiblical.

“Twoarebetteroffthanone,becausetogethertheycanworkmoreeffectively.Ifoneofthemfallsdown,theothercanhelphimup.Butifsomeoneisalone…thereisnooneto

helphim….Twopeoplecanresistanattackthatwoulddefeatonepersonalone”(Ecclesiastes4:9-12,GNT).

“Asironsharpensiron,onepersonsharpensanother”(Proverbs27:17).

2. Having a sponsor and/or accountability partner is a key part of yourrecoveryprogram.

Yourrecoveryprogramhasfourkeyelementstosuccess:

1. Tothebestofyourability,maintainyourhonestviewofrealityasyouworkeachprinciple.Thebestwaytoensurethisistohaveasponsoranddevelopastrongaccountabilitysupportteam.

2. Make recovery groupmeetings a priority in your schedule. Knowing that asponsor or accountability partner will be there to greet you or notice thatyou’renotthereisanaddedincentivetoattend.

3. MaintainyourspiritualprogramwithJesusChrist,throughprayer,meditation,andstudyingHisWord.

Step5

LaCasadeLaPaz

40

4. Getinvolvedinservice,whichincludesservingasasponsororaccountabilitypartner.

3. Having a sponsor and/or an accountability partner is the best guard againstrelapse.

By providing feedback to keep you on track, a sponsor and/or accountabilitypartnercanseeyourolddysfunctionalhurts,hang-ups,andhabitsbeginningtoreturn,and point them out to you quickly. He or she can confront youwith truth and lovewithoutplacingshameorguilt.

Whatarethequalitiesofasponsor?

“Thoughgoodadviceliesdeepwithinacounselor’sheart,thewisemanwilldrawitout”(Proverbs20:5,TLB).

Whenyouareselectingapossiblesponsor,lookforthefollowingqualities:

1. Doesherwalkmatchhertalk?Isshelivingbythe12Steps?

2. DoesshehaveagrowingrelationshipwithJesusChrist?

3. Doessheexpressthedesiretohelpothersonthe“roadtorecover?”

4. Doessheshowcompassion,care,andhope,butnotpity?

5. Issheagoodlistener?

6. Isshestrongenoughtoconfrontyourdenialorprocrastination?

7. Doessheoffersuggestions?

8. Cansheshareherowncurrentstruggleswithothers?

Whatistheroleofasponsor?

1. Shecanbetheretodiscussissuesindetailthataretoopersonalorwouldtaketoomuchtimeinameeting?

2. Sheisavailableintimesofcrisisorpotentialrelapse.

3. Sheservesasasoundingboardbyprovidinganobjectivepointofview.

4. Sheistheretoencourageyoutoworktheprinciplesatyourownspeed.¡ShedoesnotworktheStepsforyou!

LaCasadeLaPaz

41

5. Mostimportantly,sheattemptstomodelthelifestyleresultingfromworkingthetwelveSteps.

6. Asponsorcanresignorcanbefired.

HowdoIfindasponsorand/oranaccountabilitypartner?

First,yoursponsororaccountabilitypartnerMUSTbeofthesamesexasyou.Afteryouhavenarrowedthefielddownwiththatrequirement,listentopeopleshare.Doyourelatetoorresonatewithwhatisspoken?Askothersinyourgrouptogooutforcoffeeafterthemeeting.Gettoknowthepersonbeforeyouaskhimorhertobeyoursponsororaccountabilitypartner!

Ifyouasksomeonetobeyoursponsororaccountabilitypartnerandthatpersonsaysno,donottakeitasapersonalrejection.Asksomeoneelse.Youcanevenaskfora“temporary” sponsor or accountability partner. Ask God to lead you to the sponsorand/oraccountabilitypartnerofHischoosing.Healreadyhassomeoneinmindforyou.

Whatisthedifferencebetweenasponsorandanaccountabilitypartner?

A sponsor is someonewhohas completed the 12 Steps. Themain goal of thisrelationshipistochoosesomeonetoguideyouthroughtheprogram.

Anaccountabilitypartnerissomeoneyouasktoholdyouaccountableforcertainareasofyourrecoveryorissues,suchasmeetingattendance,journaling,andsoforth.Thispersoncanbeatthesamelevelofrecoveryasyouare,unlikeasponsor,whoshouldhavecompleted the12Steps.Themaingoalof this relationship is toencourageoneanother.Youcanevenformanaccountabilityteamofthreeorfour.Theaccountabilitypartnerorgroupactsasthe“team”,whereasthesponsor’sroleisthatofa“coach”.


1. Whatqualitiesareyoulookingforinasponsor?2. Howhaveyouattemptedtofindasponsor/accountabilitypartner?3. Whataresomenewplacesandwaysyoucantrytofindasponsor/accountability

partner?4. Whatisthedifferencebetweenasponsorandanaccountabilitypartner?

Confess

Step5

LaCasadeLaPaz

42

Step5review:WeadmittedtoGod,toourselves,andtoanotherhumanbeingtheexactnatureofourwrongs.


ThinkAboutThis

1. Confessyourshortcomings,resentments,andsins

Godwantsus to comeclean.Weneed toadmit that “what iswrong iswrong.We’reguiltyascharged.”Weneedtoownuptothesinswediscoveredinourinventory.

“Whoeverconcealstheirsinsdoesnotprosper,buttheonewhoconfessesandrenouncesthemfindsmercy”(Proverbs28:13,NIV).

2. ObeyGod’sdirections

Step5sumsupGod’sdirectionsforconfessingoursins.

• WeconfessoursinstoGod.“AssurelyasIamthelivingGod,saystheLord,everyonewillkneelbeforeme,and

everyonewillconfessthatIamGod.Everyoneofus,then,willhavetogiveanaccounttoGod”(Romans14:11-12,GNT).

• Wesharethemwithanotherpersonwhomwetrust:“Thereforeconfessyoursinstoeachotherandprayforeachothersothatyoumaybe

healed”(James5:16,NIV).

3. Nomoreguilt

ThisStepbeginstorestoreourconfidenceandourrelationshipsandallowsustomoveonfromour“rearviewmirror”living.InRomans8:1weareassuredthat“thereisnownocondemnationforthosewhoareinChristJesus.”

“Yes,allhavesinned;allfallshortofGod’sgloriousideal;yetnowGoddeclaresus“notguilty”ofoffendinghimifwetrustinJesusChrist,whoinhiskindnessfreelytakesaway

oursins”(Romans3:23-24,TLB).

The “CON” is over!We have followedGod’s directions on how to confess ourwrongs.Fourverypositivethingsstarttohappenafterwe“FESS”up.

4. Encouragetherecovery

LaCasadeLaPaz

43

IfyouwereaskingformetosumupthebenefitsofStep5 injustoneprayer, itwouldbeasfollows:asweconfessoursins,weareencouraginginourlife,thehealth,reconciliation,andrecoverythroughtheincomparablegraceofJesusChrist,wholovesusinspiteofoursins.

5. Facethetruth

Recoveryrequireshonesty!AfterwecompletethisprinciplewecanallowthelightofGod’struthtohealourhurts,hang-ups,andhabits.Westopdenyingourtruefeelings.

“Jesus…said,Iamthelightoftheworld.Whoeverfollowsmewillneverwalkindarkness,butwillhavethelightoflife”(John8:12,NIV).

“Thenyouwillknowthetruth,andthetruthwillsetyoufree”(John8:32,NIV).

6. StartacceptingGod’sforgiveness

OnceweacceptGod’sforgivenesswecanlookothersintheeye.Weunderstandourselvesandourpastactionsina“newlight.”

WearereadytofindthehumilitytoexchangeourshortcomingsinStep5.

“ForGodwasinChrist,restoringtheworldtohimself,nolongercountingmen’ssinsagainstthembutblottingthemout”(2Corinthians5:19,TLB).

“Butifweconfessoursins,hewillforgiveoursins,becausewecantrustGodtodowhatisright.Hewillcleanseusfromallthewrongswehavedone”(1John1:9,NCV).

7. Easethepain

Weareonlyassickasoursecrets!Whenweshareourdeepestsecretswedividethepainandtheshame.Webegintoseeahealthyself-worthdevelop,onethatisnolongerbasedontheworld’sstandards,butonthoseofJesusChrist.

“TherewasatimewhenIwouldn’tadmitwhatasinnerIwas.Butmydishonestymadememiserableandfilledmydayswithfrustration….MystrengthevaporatedlikewateronasunnydayuntilIfinallyadmittedallmysinstoyouandstoppedtryingtohide

them.Isaidtomyself,IwillconfessthemtotheLord.Andyouforgaveme!Allmyguiltisgone”(Psalm32:3-5,TLB).

8. Stoptheblame

Step5

LaCasadeLaPaz

44

Wecannotfindpeaceandserenityifwecontinuetoblameourselvesorothers.Oursecretshaveisolatedusfromeachother.Theyhavepreventedintimacyinallourrelationships.

“Whydoyoulookatthespeckofsawdustinyourbrother’seyeandfailtonoticetheplankinyourown?Howcanyousaytoyourbrother,Letmegetthespeckoutofyoureye,whenthereisaplankinyourown?Youfraud!Taketheplankoutofyourowneyefirst,andthenyoucanseeclearlyenoughtoremoveyourbrother’sspeckofdust”

(Matthew7:3-5,PH).


1. What wrongs, resentments, or secret sins are keeping you awake at night?Wouldn’tyouliketogetridofthem?

2. Whatvaluedoyouseeinconfessing,incomingcleanofthewreckageofyourpast?

3. AsyouobeyGod’sdirectionsforconfession,whatresultsdoyouexpectGodtoproduceinyourlife?

4. WhatfreedomdoyoufeelbecauseofthewordsofRomans8:1andRomans3:23-24?Whatspecificallydothephrases“nocondemnation”and“notguilty”meantoyou?

5. AfteryoucompleteStep5,youwillfindfourareasofyourlifebegintoimprove.You will be able to face the truth, ease the pain, stop the blame, and startaccepting God’s forgiveness. Inwhat areas of your lifewill each of these fourpositivechangeshelpyourrecovery?

Icanbemorehonestwith…

Icaneasemypainby…

Icanstopblaming…

IcanacceptGod’sforgivenessbecauseof…

Icanencouragetherecoverybecauseof…

Admit Step5review:WeadmittedtoGod,toourselves,andtoanotherhumanbeingtheexactnatureofourwrongs.

LaCasadeLaPaz

45


ThinkAboutThis

Whyadmitmywrongs?

1. WegainhealingthattheBiblepromises

LookagainatJames5:16,God’sWordtellsusthatwearetoadmitourwrongs,oursins,tooneanotherforhealing.Youdothisnottoreceivetheirforgiveness,forGodalreadyforgaveyouwhenyouconfessedyourwrongsandsinstoHim.

Sharingoursecrets,struggles,andfailureswithanotherispartofGod’splanofourhealingprocess.Theroadtorecoveryisnotmeanttobewalkedalone.

2. Wegainfreedom

Oursecretshavekeptusinchains,boundup,frozen,andunstabletomoveinallourrelationships.Admittingoursinssnapsthechains.

“TheycriedtotheLordintheirtroubles,andherescuedthem!Heledthemfromthedarknessandtheshadowofdeathsnappedtheirchains”(Psalm107:13-14,TLB).

3. Wegainsupport

Whenyoushareyourinventorywithanotherperson,yougetsupport.Thepersoncankeepyoufocusedandprovidefeedback.Shecanchallengeyouwhendenialsurfaces.Mostimportant,thepersonwilllisten!

HowdoIchoosesomeone?

1. Choosesomeoneofthesamesexasyouwhomyoutrustandrespect.

2. Askyoursponsororaccountabilitypartner.JustbesuretheyhavecompletedStep4and5.

3. Setupanappointmentwiththeperson,atimewithoutinterruptions!Itusuallytakestwotothreehourstoshareyourinventory.

Guidelinesforyourmeeting

1. Startwithprayer.Askforcourage,humility,andhonest.Hereisasampleprayer:

God,IaskthatYoufillmewithYourpeaceandstrengthduringmysharingofmyinventory.IknowthatYouhaveforgivenmeformypastwrongs,mysins.ThankYoufor

Step5

LaCasadeLaPaz

46

sendingYoursontopaythepriceforme,somysinscanbeforgiven.Duringthismeetinghelpme to be humble and completely honest. Thank You for providingmewith thisprogramand_______________(thenameofthepersonwithwhomyouaresharingyourinventory.)ThankYouforallowingthechainsofmypasttobesnappedinmySavior’snameIpray,Amen.

2. ReadtheversefromStep5.

3. Keepyoursharingbalanced–weaknessesandstrengths!

4. Endinprayer.ThankGodforthetoolsHehasgiventoyouandforthecompleteforgivenessfoundinChrist!

“Butifweconfessoursins,hewillforgiveoursins,becausewecantrustGodtodowhatisright.Hewillcleanseusfromallthewrongswehavedone”(1John1:9,NCV).


1. InStep5weareaskedtogiveourinventorythreetimes.Whoarewetoconfessittoandwhy?

2. MostofusfinditeasiertoconfessourwrongstoourselvesandGod.Weseemtohave more difficulty in sharing them with another person. What is the mostdifficultpartforyou?Why?

3. Whatisyourbiggestfearofsharingyourinventorywithanotherperson?

4. Listthreepeoplewithwhomyouareconsideringsharingyourinventory.Listtheprosandconsofeachselection.Circleyourfinalchoice.

5. Pickaquietlocationtoshareyourinventory.Listthreeplacesandcirclethebestone.

Step6

LaCasadeLaPaz

47

WewereentirelyreadytohaveGodremoveallthesedefectsofcharacter.

VoluntarilysubmittoeverychangeGodwantstomakeinmylifeandhumblyask

Himtoremovemycharacterdefects.

“Blessedarethosewhohungerandthirstforrighteousness,fortheyshallbesatisfied”(Mathew5:6,NASB).


ReadyThinkAboutThis

What does it mean to be entirely READY to have God remove our characterdefects?

Releasecontrol

Godisagentleman.InStep3Hedidn’tforceHiswillonyou.HewaitedforyoutoinviteHimin!NowinStep6youneedtobeentirelyready,willingtoletGodintoeveryareaofyourlife.Hewon’tcomeinwhereHeisnotwelcomed.

Ithasbeensaidthat“willingnessisthekeythatgoesintothelockandopensthedoorthatallowsGodtobegintoremoveyourcharacterdefects.”

“Helpmetodoyourwill,foryouaremyGod”(Psalms143:10,TLB).

Easydoesit

ThesePrinciplesandStepsarenotquickfixes!YouneedtoallowtimeforGodtoworkinyourlife.Thisprinciplegoesfurtherthanhelpingyoutostopdoingwrong.Itgoesaftertheverydefectthatcausesyoutosin!Ittakestime!

“Commiteverythingyoudotothe Lord.Trusthimtohelpyoudoitandhewill”(Psalm37:5, TLB).

Acceptthechange

Step6

LaCasadeLaPaz

48

Seeingtheneedforchangeandallowingthechangetooccuraretwodifferentthings.Step6willnotworkifyouarestilltrappedbyyourself-will.YouneedtobereadytoacceptGod’shelpthroughoutthetransition.

“Sothen,haveyourmindsreadyforaction.KeepalertandsetyourhopecompletelyontheblessingwhichwillbegivenyouwhenJesusChristisrevealed.BeobedienttoGod,

anddonotallowyourlivestobeshapedbythosedesiresyouhadwhenyouwerestillignorant”(1Peter1:13-14,GNT).

Doreplaceyourcharacterdefects

You spent a lot of timewith your old hang-ups, compulsions, obsessions, andhabits.WhenGodremovesone,youneedtoreplaceitwithsomethingpositive,suchasrecoverymeetings,church,service,andvolunteering!Ifyoudon’t,youopenyourselfforanegativecharacterdefecttoreturn.

“Nowwhentheuncleanspiritgoesoutofaman,itpassesthroughwaterlessplacesseekingrest,anddoesnotfindit.Thenitsays,IwillreturntomyhousefromwhichIcame;andwhenitcomes,itfindsitunoccupied,swept,andputinorder.Thenitgoesandtakesalongwithitsevenotherspiritsmorewickedthatitself,andtheygoinand

livethere;andthelaststateofthatmanbecomesworsethatthefirst.Thatisthewayitwillalsobewiththisevilgeneration”(Matthew12:43-45,NASB).

Yieldtothegrowth

Youroldself-doubtsandlowself-esteemmaytellyouthatyouarenotworthyofthegrowthandprogressthatyouaremakingintheprogram.Yieldtothegrowth–itistheHolySpiritsworkwithinyou.

“ThepersonwhohasbeenbornintoGod’sfamilydoesnotmakeapracticeofsinning,becausenowGod’slifeisinhim;sohecan’tkeeponsinning,forthisnewlifehasbeen

bornintohimandcontrolshim–hehasbeenbornagain”(1John3:9,TLB).

Areyouentirelyready–willing–tovoluntarilysubmittoanyandallchangesGodwants tomake inyour life? Ifyouare, readtheStep6versesandpray the followingprayer:

DearGod,thankYoufortakingmethisfarinmyrecoveryjourney.NowIprayforYourhelpinmakingmebeentirelyreadytochangeallmyshortcomings.GivemethestrengthtodealwithallofmycharacterdefectsthatIhaveturnedovertoYou.Allowme

LaCasadeLaPaz

49

toacceptallthechangesthatYouwanttomakeinme.HelpmebethepersonthatYouwantmetobe.InYourSon’snameIpray,Amen.


1. Haveyoureleasedcontrol?(Ifnot,reviewStep3:ConsciouslychoosetocommitallmylifeandwilltoChrist’scareandcontrol.)

• ListtheareasofyourlifethatyouhavebeenabletoturnoverandsurrendertoJesusChrist

• Listtheareasofyourlifethatyouarestillholdingonto,attemptingtocontrolthemonyourownpower.

2. Whatdoesthephrase“easydoesit”meantoyou?Whatareaofyourrecoveryareyouattemptingtorush—lookingforthe“quickfix”?

3. Explain thedifference in seeing a need for change andbeing entirely ready toacceptpositivechangeinyourrecovery.

4. It is very important that you allowGod to replace your character defectswithpositivechanges.Whataresomeofthepositivechangesthatyoucouldmakeinourrecovery?Inyourfamily?Inyourjob?

5. SometimesitisdifficultforusinrecoverytoseethepositivechangesthatGodismakinginourlives.Haveyoubeenabletoacceptandenjoyyourgrowth?How?

ConsiderthisWeweremore than just ready,wewere “entirely ready” for these defects of

charactertoberemoved.Weweresickandtiredofbeingsickandtired.Todaymaywechoosedecisively tohaveGodremoveeveryobstacletohisplace fullyoccupyingourhearts.

ToHaveGodRemove

We’reentirelyreadytohave“Godremove”…thekey(thesecret)hereisthatGoddoestheremoving.Our provenpathistokeepourfocusonGodandhislovingpowerand truth.

“AndwhohashishopefixedonHimpurifieshimself,justasHeispure”(1John3:3,NASB).

Step6

LaCasadeLaPaz

50

Ifyourfocusremainsonyourdefectsfailure isguaranteed.Bewareofhavingawrong focus.Hewhohas thishope fixedonHimpurifieshimself, just asHe ispure.ThehopeJohnreferstohereisforourtotaltransformationinChrist.ThemoreIfocusonHimandHisword,themoreIrealizemyowndefects,themoreIembraceHimandHistransformingpower,themoreIchange,themoreIseekforHiswisdom,Holyloveand healing power, the more I hunger and thirst, and the more I am satisfied, thestrongerIget.

Step7Wehumbly“askedHim”toremoveourshortcomings

LaCasadeLaPaz

51

VoluntarilysubmittoeverychangeGodwantstomakeinmylifeandhumblyask

Himtoremovemycharacterdefects.


“Ifweconfessoursins,Heisfaithfulandjustandwillforgiveusoursinsandpurifyusfromallunrighteousness.Ifweclaimwehavenotsinned,wemakehimouttobealiar

andHiswordisnotinus”(1John1:9-10,NIV).

“Blessedarethosewhohungerandthirstforrighteousness,fortheyshallbesatisfied”(Mathew5:6,NASB).

VictoryThinkAboutThis

HowcanyouhaveVICTORYoveryourdefectsofcharacter?

Voluntarilysubmit

VoluntarilysubmittoeverychangeGodwantsmetomakeinmylife,andhumblyaskHimtoremovemyshortcomings.

“OfferyourselvesasalivingsacrificetoGod,dedicatedtohisserviceandpleasingtohim…LetGodtransformyouinwardlybyacompletechangeofyourmind”

(Romans12:1-2,GNT).

InStep3wemadeadecisiontoturnour livesovertoGod’swill.Nowyouareentirelyreadytohavegodremoveallyourdefectsofcharacter(Step7).

It is importanttounderstandthatSteps6and7areaprocess.Lastingchangestakes time. The remainderof this lessonoutlines theprocess tohaveGodmake thepositivechangesinyourlifethatyouandHebothdesire.

Identifycharacterdefects

Step7

LaCasadeLaPaz

52

Which character defects you want to work on first. Go back to the wrongs,shortcomings,andsinsyoudiscoveredinyourinventory.AskGodtofirstremovethosethatarecausingthemostpain.

“Intheirheartshumansplantheircourse,buttheLordestablishestheirsteps”(Proverbs16:9,NIV).

Changeyourmind

WhenyoubecomeaChristianyouareanewcreation–abrandnewpersoninside;theoldnatureisgone.ButyouhavetoletGod(change)transformyoubyrenewingyourmind. The changes that are going to take place are a result of a team effort – yourresponsibilityistotaketheactiontofollowgod’sdirectionsforchange.

“Donotconformtothepatternofthisworld,butbetransformedbytherenewingofyourmind.ThenyouwillbeabletotestandapprovewhatGod’swillis–hisgood,

pleasingandperfectwill”(Romans12:2,NIV).

Turnovercharacterdefects

TurnyourcharacterdefectsovertoJesusChrist.Relyingonyourownwillpowerhasblockedyourrecovery.Youhavetriedtochangeyourhurts,hang-ups,andhabitsbyyourselfandwereunsuccessful.“Letgo;letGod.”


“TheLordisfaithful,andHewillstrengthenyouandprotectyoufromtheevilone”(2Thessalonians3:3,NIV).

Onedayatatime

Recoveryworksonedayatatime!Yourlifelonghurts,hang-ups,andhabitsneedtobeworkedonintwenty-four-hoursincrements.Lifebytheyardishard; lifebytheinchisacinch.


Recoveryisaprocess

LaCasadeLaPaz

53

OnceyouaskGodtoremoveyourcharacterdefects,youbeginajourneythatwillleadyoutonewfreedomfromyourpast.Don’t lookforperfection; insteadrejoiceinsteadyprogress.

“AndIamsurethatGodwhobeganagoodworkwithinyouwillkeeprightonhelpingyougrowninhisgraceuntilhistaskwithinyouisfinallyfinishedonthatdaywhenJesus


Absolutedisposition

YouhavetogetreadyinorderforGodtoworktogetherwithyou.Nowyouareconsideringwhat Step 6 says: You are ready to have God remove all your characterdefects.Youareinaplaceinyourrecoveryinwhichyousay:Idon’twanttoliveinthiswayanymore.Iwanttoberidofmywounds,problems,andhabits.

“Iwantyoutobewiseinwhatisgoodandinnocentinwhatisevil.TheGodofpeacewillsooncrushSatanunderyourfeet.ThegraceofourLordJesusbewithyou”

(Romans16:19-20,NASB).

Youmustchoosetochange

Toaskforhelptochangeyourhurts,hang-ups,andhabitsrequireshumility.Weneedtostoptryingtomakethechangesonourpower.WeneedtohumblyaskHimtoremoveallourshortcomings.WeneedtorelyonHispowertochangeus!

“ButHegivesusmoreandmorestrengthtostandagainstallsuchevillongings.AstheScripturesays,Godgivesstrengthtothehumblebutsetshimselfagainsttheproudandhaughty.SogiveyourselveshumblytoGod.Resistthedevilandhewillfleefromyou.AndwhenyoudrawclosetoGod,Godwilldrawclosetoyou.Washyourhands,you

sinners,andletyourheartsbefilledwithGodalonetomakethempureandtruetoHim”(James4:6-8,TLB).


1. As you voluntarily submit to every change God wants you to make in yourrecovery,howdoesRomans12:1-2helpyouknowthat real,positivechange ispossible?

2. InStep7youneedtoaskGodtohelpyouidentifythedefectsofcharacterthatyouneedtoworkonfirst.ListthechangesthatyouwanttoaskGodtohelpyouworkonnow.Willyouworkonthem?

Step7

LaCasadeLaPaz

54

3. God’sWordteachesusthatrealchangecomesfromthechangingofourminds.Wemust take the positive action required to follow God’s directions. List theactionsthatyouneedtotaketobeginworkingonthedefectsofcharacterthatyoulistedinquestion2.

ACTIONPLANDefectsofCharacter:

Ineedtostopdoing:

Ineedtostartdoing:

4. ListthespecificwaysthatyouhaveturnedfromrelyingonyourownwillpowertorelyingonGod’swillforyourlife.

5. Whatdoesthephrase“onedayatatime”meantoyouandyourrecovery?

6. IthasbeenstatedthatRecoveryisnotperfection; it isaprocess.Doyouagreewiththat?Why?

7. Whatdoeshumilitymeantoyou?Howwillbeinghumbleallowyoutochange?

Step8

LaCasadeLaPaz

55

Wemadealistofallpersonswehadharmedandbecamewillingtomakeamendstothemall.

Evaluateallmyrelationships.Offerforgivenesstothosewhohavehurtmeand

makeamendsforharmI’vedonetoothers,exceptwhentodosowouldharmthemorothers.

“Blessedarethemerciful,fortheywillbeshownmercy”(Matthew5:7,NASB).

“Blessedarethepeacemakers,fortheywillbecalledchildrenofGod”(Matthew5:9,NASB).

“Dotoothersasyouwouldhavethemdotoyou”(Luke6:31,NIV).

AmendsThinkAboutThis

MakingyouramendsisthebeginningoftheendofyourisolationfromothersandGod.

Startlivingthepromisesofrecovery

Aswecompletethisstep,wewilldiscoverGod’sgiftof truefreedomfromourpast.Wewillbegintofindthepeaceandserenitythatwehavelongbeenseeking.WewillbecomereadytoembraceGod’spurposeforourlives.

“Godpromises,Iwillrepayyoufortheyearsthatlocustshaveeaten”(Joel2:25,NIV).

“Ifitispossible,asfarasitdependsonyou,liveatpeacewitheveryone”(Romans12:18,NIV).

Donotbeopposed

Stillsomeofusareopposedtomakingamends.Wethink:IfGodhasforgiven,isn’tthatenough?WhymustIbringupthepast?Afterall,makingamendssoundsunnatural.

Theanswertothatobjectionissimple:makingamendshasmoretodowithyourfuturethanwithyourpast.Beforehavingthehealthyrelationshipsthatyoudesire,youneedtocleartheguilt,shame,andpainthatledtofailedrelationshipsinthepast.

Step8

LaCasadeLaPaz

56

Encourageoneanother

Beforeyoumakeyouramendsorofferyour forgiveness toothersyouneed tomeetwithyouraccountabilitypartnerorasponsor.Heorshewillencourageyouandgiveyouavaluableobjectiveopinion,whichwillensurethatyourmotivesstayontrack.

“Andletusconsiderhowwemayspuroneanotherontowardloveandgooddeeds”(Hebrews10:24,NIV).

Makealist

Gobacktoyourinventorysheets.Youwillfindthelistofpeoplewhoyouneedtoforgive.Arethereanyothersyouneedtoadd?


Doitattherighttime

ThisStepnotonlyrequirescourage,goodjudgment,andwillingness,butacarefulsenseoftiming!ItiskeyatthistimetoprayerfullyaskJesusChristforHisguidanceanddirection.

“Notlookingtoyourowninterests,buteachofyoutotheinterestsoftheothers”(Philippians2:4,NIV).

Notforthem

Youneedtoapproachthosetowhomyouareofferingyourforgivenessoramendshumbly,sincerely,andwillingly.

Donotofferexcusesorattempttojustifyyouractions.Focusonlyonyourpart.Don’texpectanythingback.

“Loveyourenemiesanddogoodtothem;lendandexpectnothingback”(Luke6:35,GNT).

Disposition

Aswehavementionedbefore,itistimetoconsiderhowtoforgive,tobewillingtomakeamendsandtobewillingtoaskforforgiveness.Atthispointyouarejustlooking

LaCasadeLaPaz

57

forwillingness.Step8onlyrequiresthatweidentifythosepeoplewithwhomweneedtomakeamendsandtoofferforgiveness.

Luke6:31remindsus:“Dotoothersasyouwouldhavethemdotoyou.”

Admitthehurtandtheharm

You need to once again face the hurts, resentments and wrongs others havecausedyou,orwrongsthatyouhavecausedothers.HoldingontoresentmentsnotonlyblocksyourrecoverybutblocksGod’sforgivenessinyourlife.Thejudgmentyougiveisthejudgmentyouwillget.

“Donotjudgeothers,andGodwillnotjudgeyou;donotcondemnothers,andGodwillnotcondemnyou;forgiveothers,andGodwillforgiveyou”(Luke6:37,GNT).

“Ifwearepainstakingaboutthisphaseofourdevelopment,wewillbeamazedbefore we are half way through.We are going to know a new freedom and a newhappiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We willcomprehendthewordserenityandwewillknowpeace.Nomatterhowfardownthescalewehavegone,wewillseehowourexperiencecanbenefitothers.Thatfeelingofuselessnessandself-pitywilldisappear.Wewillloseinterestinselfishthingsandgaininterestinourfellows.Self-seekingwillslipaway.Ourwholeattitudeandoutlookuponlife will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We willintuitively know how to handle situationswhich used to baffle us.Wewill suddenlyrealizethatGodisdoingforuswhatwecouldnotdoforourselves”(TheBigBookofAA,p.83-84).


1. Onceagainyouneedtoadmitthepasthurts–whatothersdidtoyouandtheharmthatyoucausedtoothers.Explainhowholdingontoyourpastresentmentsandguilthasblockedyourrecovery.Bespecific.

2. Whodoyouhaveonyourrecoverysupportteamtoencourageyouasyoumakeyouramendsandofferyourforgiveness?

SPONSOR:

AccountabilityPartners:

3. Whatdoesthephrase“notforthem”meantoyou?

Step8

LaCasadeLaPaz

58

4. Whatdoesthephrase“don’texpectanythingback”meantoyou?

5. Timing is so important in this step. List the individuals who could be possiblyinjuredfromyourmakinganamendstothemandwhy.

6. Gobacktothe“startlivingthepromises”sectionoftheamends,andre-readtheparagraphtakenfromTheBigBookofAA,pages83-84.Listsomeofthepromisesofrecoverythatarecomingtrueinyourlife!

Step9

LaCasadeLaPaz

59

Wemadedirectamendstosuchpeoplewheneverpossible,exceptwhentodosowouldinjurethemorothers.

Evaluateallmyrelationships.Offerforgivenesstothosewhohavehurtmeand

makeamendsforharmI’vedonetoothers,exceptwhentodosowouldharmthemorothers.

“Therefore,ifyouareofferingyourgiftatthealtarandthererememberthatyourbrotherorsisterhassomethingagainstyou,leaveyourgiftthereinfrontofthealtar.

Firstgoandbereconciledtothem;thencomeandofferyourgift”(Matthew5:23-24,NIV).

“Blessedarethemerciful,fortheyshallreceivemercy.Blessedarethepureinheart,fortheyshallseeGod.Blessedarethepeacemakers,fortheyshallbecalledsonsofGod”

(Mathew5:7-9,NASB).


ForgivenessThinkAboutThis

Doyouknowthethreekindsofforgiveness?Tobecompletelyfreefromyourresentments,anger,fears,shame,andguilt,youneedtogiveandacceptforgivenessinallareasofyourlives.Ifyoudonot,yourrecoverywillbestalledandthusincomplete.

1. HaveyouacceptedGod’sforgiveness?

HaveyoureallyacceptedJesusChrist’svictoriousworkonthecross?Heexclaimedfromthecross,“Itisfinished”(John19:30).Byhisdeathonthecrossalloursinswerecanceled–Paidinfull!

“GodputspeoplerightthroughtheirfaithinJesusChrist.GoddoesthistoallwhobelieveinChrist,becausethereisnodifferenceatall:everyonehassinnedandisfarawayfromGod'ssavingpresence.ButbythefreegiftofGod'sgraceallareputrightwithHimthroughChristJesus,whosetsthemfree.GodofferedHim,sothatbyHisbloodHeshouldbecomethemeansbywhichpeople'ssinsareforgiventhroughtheir

faithinHim”(Romans3:22-25,GNT).

2. Haveyouforgivenotherswhohavehurtyou?

Step9

LaCasadeLaPaz

60

Youmust“letgo”ofthepainofthepastharmandabusecausedbyothers.Untilyouareabletoreleaseitandforgiveit,itwillcontinuetoholdyouprisoner.

“Donotrepayanyoneevilforevil.Becarefultodowhatisrightintheeyesofeveryone.Ifitispossible,asfarasitdependsonyou,liveatpeacewitheveryone”

(Romans12:17-18,NIV).

YoumayoweGodanamends!Rememberthattheharmthatothersdidtoyouwasfromtheirfreewill,notGod’swill.

“Afteryouhavebornethesesufferingsaverylittlewhile,Godhimself(fromwhomwereceiveallgradeandwhohascalledyoutosharehiseternalsplendorthroughChrist)

willmakeyouwholeandsecureandstrong”(1Peter5:10,PH).

NOTE: If you have been the victim of sexual abuse, physical abuse, or childhoodemotionalabuseorneglect,Iamtrulysorryforthepainyouhavesuffered.Ihurtwithyou.Butyouwillnotfindthepeaceandfreedomfromyourperpetratoruntilyouareabletoforgivethatperson.“Remember,forgivinghimorherinnowayexcusestheharmdoneagainstyou.Forgivenesswillallowyou,however,tobereleasedfromthepowerthatthepersonhashadoveryou.”Step8:MakealistofallpersonswhohaveharmedusandbecomewillingtoseekGod’shelp in forgiving our perpetrators, as well as forgiving ourselves. Realize we’ve alsoharmedothersandbecomewillingtomakeamendstothem.Step9:Extendforgivenesstoourselvesandtootherswhohaveperpetratedagainstus,realizingthisisanattitudeoftheheart,notalwaysconfrontation.Makedirectamends,asking forgiveness from thosepeoplewehaveharmed,exceptwhen todo sowouldinjurethemorothers.

3. Haveyouforgivenyourself?

Youmayfeelthattheguiltandshameofyourpastisjusttoomuchtoforgive.ThisiswhatGodwantsyoutodowiththedarknessofyourpast:“Come,let’stalkthisover!SaystheLord;nomatterhowdeepthestainofyoursins,Icantakeitoutandmakeyouascleanasfreshlyfallensnow.Evenifyouarestainedasredascrimson,IcanmakeyouwhiteaswoolIfyouwillonlyletmehelpyou”(Isaiah1:18-19,TLB).

Remember:“Therefore,thereisnownocondemnationforthosewhoareinChristJesus”(Romans8:1,NIV).


LaCasadeLaPaz

61

1.Asyoulookatthethreekindsofforgiveness,whichoneofthemwastheeasiestforyoutoaccept?Why?

2.Whichareaofforgivenesswasthemostdifficultforyoutoaccept?Why?

3.WhatdothewordsofChristfoundinJohn19:30meantoyou?

4.Whathurt(s)fromapastrelationshipareyoustillholdingonto?

5.Howcanyouletgoofthehurt(s)?Bespecific.

6.DoyouoweGodanamends?Whenwillyougiveit?

7.HowhaveyoubeenblamingGodfortheharmfulactionsthatotherstookagainstyou?

8.Haveyouforgivenyourself?Whatpastactionsinyourlifedoyoustillfeelguiltandshameabout?(Listthem,prayaboutthem,andworkontheminthenextlesson.)

Grace Step9review:Wemadedirectamendstosuchpeoplewheneverpossible,exceptwhentodosowouldinjurethemorothers.

“BlessedarethepeacemakersfortheyshallbecalledchildrenofGod”(Mathew5:9,NASB).

Thinkaboutthis

To complete Step 9 we must make our amends, make restitution, offer ourforgiveness,butmostofall,wemustreceiveandmodelJesusChrist’sfreelygivengiftofGRACE.

“ButHesaidtome:Mygraceisenoughforyou.Whenyouareweak,mypowerismadeperfectinyou.SoIamveryhappytobragaboutmyweaknesses.ThenChrist’spowercanliveinme.ForthisreasonIamhappywhenIhaveweaknesses,insults,hardtimes,sufferings,andallkindsoftroublesforChrist.BecausewhenIamweak,thenIamtruly

strong”(2Corinthians12:9-10,NCV).

Graceis:God’sgift

Gracecannotbebought.ItisafreelygivengiftbyGodtoyouandme.WhenwecompleteStep6,wearetooffer(give)ouramendsandforgivenessandexpectnothingback.

Step9

LaCasadeLaPaz

62

“AllneedtobemaderightwithGodbyHisgrace,whichisafreegift.TheyneedtobemadefreefromsinthroughJesusChrist”(Romans3:24,NCV).

“Forofhisfullnesswehaveallreceived,andgraceupongrace,fortheLawwasgiventhroughMoses;graceandtruthwererealizedthroughJesusChrist”(John1:16-17).

“Prepareyourmindsforserviceandhaveself-control.AllyourhopeshouldbeforthegiftofgracethatwillbeyourswhenJesusChristisshowntoyou”(1Peter1:13,NCV).

Graceis:Receivedbyfaith

Wecannotworkourwayintoheaven.OnlybyprofessingourfaithinChristasourSaviorcanweexperienceHisgraceandhaveeternallife.ItisonlythroughourfaithinChristthatwecanfindthestrengthandcourageneededforustomakeouramendsandofferourforgiveness.

“Foritisbygraceyouhavebeensaved,throughfaith-andthisisnotfromyourselves,itisthegiftofGod–notbyworks,sothatnoonecanboast”(Ephesians2:8-9,NIV).

“Throughwhomwehavegainedaccessbyfaithintothisgraceinwhichwenowstand.AndweboastinthehopeofthegloryofGod”(Romans5:2,NIV).

Graceis:beingacceptedinGod’slove

Godloveduswhilewewerestillsinning.Graceisthelovethatgives,thatlovestheunlovelyandtheunlovable.WecanloveothersbecauseGodfirstlovedus,andwecanalsoforgiveothersbecauseGodfirstforgaveus.

“Letus,feelverysurethatwecancomebeforeGod’sthronewherethereisgrace.Therewecanreceivemercyandgracetohelpuswhenweneedit”(Hebrews4:16,NCV).

“Forgiveusourdebts,aswealsohaveforgivenourdebtors”(Matthew6:12,NIV).

“Ifyouforgiveotherpeoplewhentheysinagainstyou,yourheavenlyFatherwillalsoforgiveyou”(Matthew6:14,NIV).

Graceis:Christpaidthepricethatwemightreceivegrace

JesuslovesussomuchthatHediedonthecrosssothatalloursins,allourwrongs,areforgiven.HepaidthepriceandsacrificedHimselfforussothatwemaybewithHim

LaCasadeLaPaz

63

forever.Wealsoneedtosacrifice–ourprideandourselfishness.Wemustspeakthetruthinloveandfocusonourpartinmakingamendsorofferingforgiveness.

“IdonotsetasidethegraceofGod,forifrighteousnesscouldbegainedthroughthelaw,Christdiedfornothing!”(Galatians2:21,NIV).

“InChristwearesetfreebythebloodofhisdeath,andsowehaveforgivenessofsins.HowrichisGod’sgrace”(Ephesians1:7,NCV).

Graceis:Anundeservedgift

WeallareaproductoftheundeservedgraceofGod.

“Mygraceissufficientforyou,forpowerisperfectedinweakness.Mostgladly,therefore,Iwillratherboastaboutmyweaknesses,sothatthepowerofChristmay

dwellinme.ThereforeIamwellcontentwithweaknesses,withinsults,withdistresses,withpersecutions,withdifficulties,forChrist’ssake;forwhenIamweak,thenIam

strong”(2Corinthians12:9,NASB).

Graceis:Aneternalgift

OnceyouhaveacceptedJesusChristasyourLordandSavior,God’sgiftofgraceisforever.

“AndIamsurethatGodwhobeganthegoodworkwithinyouwillkeeprightonhelpingyougrowinhisgraceuntilhistaskwithinyouisfinallyfinishedonthatdaywhenJesus


“MayourLordJesusChristhimselfandGodourFatherencourageyouandstrengthenyouineverygoodthingyoudoandsay.Godlovedus,andthroughhisgracehegaveusagoodhopeandencouragementthatcontinuesforever”(2Thessalonians2:16,NCV).

Prayer

Step9

LaCasadeLaPaz

64

DearGod,thankYouforYourlove,foryourfreelygivengrace.HelpmemodelYourwayswhenImakemyamendstothoseIhavehurtandoffermyforgivenesstothosewhohaveinjuredme.Helpmetosetasidemyselfishnessandspeakthetruthinlove.IpraythatIwouldfocusonlyonmypart,myresponsibilityintheissue.IknowthatIcanforgiveothersbecauseYou first forgaveme. ThankYou for lovingme. In Jesus’name I pray,Amen.


1. HowhasJesusChristusedyourweaknessesandturnedthemintostrengths?

2. HowcanyoureceiveGod’sgiftofgrace(Romans5:2)?

3. HowcanyoumodelGod’sgiftofgraceinmakingyouramends?

4. InwhatwayshaveyouexperiencedGod’sgraceinyourrecovery?

Remember,youcan’tgivetootherswhatyouhaven’treceivedyourself.

5. “Godlovedandaccepteduswhilewewerestillsinners”(Ephesians2:5).Howcanyoumodelthatacceptancetothosetowhomyouneedtoofferforgivenessormakeamends?

6. InStep9wearenottryingtogeteven.Christpaidthepriceforallofourwrongs.Whatdoes“speakingthetruthinlove”meantoyou?

7. Why is it important that you focus only on your part inmaking an amendsorofferingforgiveness?

8. ListsomeofthethingsthatGodhasshownyouthroughworkingStep9.

LaCasadeLaPaz

65

Step10Wecontinuedtotakepersonalinventory,andwhenwe

werewrong,promptlyadmittedit.

Reserveadaily timewithGodforself-examinationBiblereading,andprayer inordertoknowGodandHiswillformylifeandtogainthepowertofollowHiswill.

“So,ifyouthinkyouarestandingfirm,becarefulthatyoudon’tfall!”(1Corinthians10:12,NIV).

CrossroadsThinkAboutThis

Jesussays,“IfyouliveasItellyouto…youwillknowthetruth,andthetruthwillsetyoufree”(John8:32,TLB).ByworkingtheStepsandfollowingChrist’sdirections,thefoundationofyourlifehasbeenrebuilt.Youwillundoubtedlyseemajorchangesinyourlife,ifyouhaven’talready!ButnowyouareattheCROSSROADSofyourrecovery.

1Corinthians10:12warnsus:“So, ifyouthinkyouarestandingfirm,becarefulthatyoudon’tfall!”Steps10through12arewherewewillliveoutourrecoveriesfortherestofourtimehereonearth.TheyaremuchmorethanmaintenanceSteps,assomehavereferredtothem.Thesearethe,“howIwanttolivetherestofmylifestepsandprinciples”.

AswebegintoworkStep10,wewillseethatitismadeupofthreekeyparts.

Taketimetodoadailyinventory

1. Thewhat?Wecontinuedtotakepersonalinventory…

“Letusexamineourwaysandtestthem,andletusreturntotheLord”(Lamentations3:40,NIV).

2. Thewhy?Andwhenwewerewrong…

LaCasadeLaPaz

66

“Ifwesaythatwehavenosins,weareonlyfoolingourselves,andrefusingtoacceptthetruth.Butifweconfessoursinstohim,hecanbedependedontoforgiveusandtocleanseusfromeverywrong.AnditisperfectlyproperforGodtodothisforusbecauseChristdiedtowashawayoursins.Ifweclaimwehavenotsinned,wearelyingand

callingGodaliar,forhesayswehavesinned”(1John1:8-10,TLB).

3. Thethenwhat?Promptlyadmittedit…

“ThisishowIwantyoutoconductyourselfinthesematters.Ifyouenteryourplaceofworshipand,abouttomakeanoffering,yousuddenlyrememberagrudgeafriendhasagainstyou,abandonyouroffering,leaveimmediately,gotothisfriendandmake

thingsright.Thenandonlythen,comebackandworkthingsoutwithGod”(Matthew5:23-24,MSG).

Freeyourselffromyourmistakesandwrongsquickly

Practicekeepingadailyjournalforoneweek.Writeoutyourdailyinventory—thegoodand thebad. Look fornegativepatterns, issues that youare repeatedlywritingdown and having to promptly make amends for! Share them with your sponsor oraccountabilitypartner,andsetupanactionplanforyou-withGod’shelpandpower-toovercomethem.


1. BeforeyoustartworkingonStep10,takeamomenttoreflectandlistsomeofthechangesinyourlifethathavecomefromworkingtheStepsandprincipleswithJesusasyourHigherPower.

• Howhasyourbehaviorchanged?

• Whatspecificrelationshipshavebeenrestoredorimproved?

• HowhasyourrelationshipwithJesusgrownsinceyoubeganyourjourneyofrecovery?

• Listthenewrelationshipsthatyouhavemadealongyourjourney.

2. Inyourownwords,whatdoesStep10meantoyou?

• TheWhat?:Wecontinuedtotakeapersonalinventory…

• TheWhy?:Andwhenwewerewrong…

Step10

LaCasadeLaPaz

67

• ThethenWhat?:Promptlyadmittedit…

DailyInventory Step 10 review:We continued to take personal inventory andwhenwewerewrongpromptlyadmittedit.

“So,ifyouthinkyouarestandingfirm,becarefulthatyoudon’tfall!”(1Corinthians10:12,NIV).

Thinkaboutthis

InStep10,webegintoapplywhatwehavediscoveredinthefirst9Steps:Wehumblyliveinrealitynotdenial;wehavedoneourbesttomakeamendsforourpast;wedesiretogrowdailyinournewrelationshipswithJesusChristandothers.

Godhasprovideduswithadailychecklistforournewlifestyle.It’scalledtheGreatCommandment:

“LovetheLordyourGodwithallyourheart…souland…mind.Thisisthefirstandgreatestcommandment.Andthesecondislikeit:Loveyourneighborasyourself.Allthe

LawandtheProphetshangonthesetwocommandments”(Matthew22:37-40).

James 1:22 encourages us: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceiveyourselves.Dowhatitsays.”WhenwepracticetheGreatCommandment,webecomedoers ofGod’sWord, living examples of Christ.Ourwalk lines upwith our talk! TheapostlePaul livedthatway.Hesaysin1Thessalonians1:5(TLB):“Ourveryliveswerefurtherprooftoyouofthetruthofourmessage.”

TherearethreewaystodoaStep10inventory.

1.Ongoing

Wecandothisperiodicallythroughouttheday.Thebesttimetoadmitwearewrong is theexact time thatwearemadeawareof it!Whywait?Weneed tomakeamendsASAP!Wewillsleepalotbetteratnight.

2.Daily

Attheendofeachdayweneedtolookoverthedailyactivities–thegoodandthebad.Weneedtosearchforwherewemighthaveharmedsomeoneorwhereweacted

LaCasadeLaPaz

68

outofangerorfear.Thebestwaytodothisistokeepajournal!Thenthenextmorningaspromptlyaswecan,weneedtoadmitmistakesandmakeouramends.

3.Periodic

Everythreemonths,getawayforaminiretreat.Bringyourdailyjournalwithyou.Prayandreadyourdailyentries.AskGodtoshowyouareas inyour lifethatyoucanimproveoverthenext90daysandthevictoriesthatyouhavemadeinthelastninetydays!

TheBiblegivesusinstructionsonhowtoavoidthenecessityofmakinganamendsinStep10:

“Intelligentpeoplethinkbeforetheyspeak;whattheysayisthenmorepersuasive”(Proverbs16:23,GNT).

“Letnofoulorpollutinglanguage,norevilwordnorunwholesomeorworthlesstalk(ever)comeoutofyourmouth,butonlysuch(speech)asisgoodandbeneficialto

spiritualprogressofothers”(Ephesians4:29,AB).

“Awise,maturepersonisknownforhisunderstanding.Themorepleasanthiswords,themorepersuasiveHeis”(Proverbs16:21,GNT).

“Awordofencouragementdoeswonders!”(Proverbs12:25,TLB).

“IfIspeakwiththetonguesofmenandofangels,butdonothavelove,Ihavebecomeanoisygongoraclangingcymbal”(1Corinthians13:1,NASB).

Step10dailyactionplan

1.Continuetotakeadaily inventory,andwhenyouarewrong,promptlymakeyouramends.

2.Summarizetheeventsofyourdayinyourjournal.

3.ReadandmemorizeoneoftheStep10verses(seeabove.)

4.WorkallStepsandprinciplestothebestofyourability.ThekeyverseforthislessonisMark14:38:“Watchandpraysothatyouwillnotfallintotemptation.Thespiritiswilling,butthefleshisweak.”

Step10

LaCasadeLaPaz

69


1. Whataresomeoftheadvantagesofeachofthethreetypesofinventoriesinyourrecovery?Howcantheyhelpyouto“becarefulthatyoudon’tfall”?

2. Whatdothefollowingversesmeantoyouandhowcantheyhelpyouinthisstep?

“Fromawisemindcomescarefulandpersuasivespeech”(Proverbs16:23,TLB).

“Don’tusebadlanguage.Sayonlywhatisgoodandhelpfultothoseyouaretalkingto,andwhatwillgivethemablessing”(Ephesians4:29,TLB).

“Thewisemanisknownbyhiscommonsense,andapleasantteacheristhebest”(Proverbs16:21,TLB).

“Anxiousheartsareveryheavybutawordofencouragementdoeswonders!”(Proverbs12:25,TLB).

“IfIspeakwiththetonguesofmenandofangels,butdonothavelove,Ihavebecomeanoisygongoraclangingcymbal”(1Corinthians13:1,NASB).

“WatchwithmeandpraylesttheTempteroverpoweryou.Forthroughthespiritiswillingenough,tobodyisweak”(Mark14:38,TLB).

3. WhatisyourdailyactionplaninStep10?

4. Whataretherecurringeventsorissuesthatyouareconstantlyneedingtomakeamendsfor?

• Withyourfamily?

• Withyourfriends?

• Withthoseyouworkwith?

• Withthoseinyourchurchorrecoveryprogram?

Finally,Jesuscomparesthethoughtsofourhearttoagarden.Step10hasbeenlikenedtoweedingagarden.Agardenisweededmanytimesbeforethereisaharvest,sodon’tbediscouraged.Yourdiligencewillberewarded.

“Afarmerwentouttosowhisseed.Ashewasscatteringtheseed,somefellalongthepath;itwastrampledon,andthebirdsoftheairateitup.Somefellonrock,andwhenitcameup,theplantswitheredbecausetheyhadnomoisture.Otherseedfellamongthorns,whichgrewupwithitandchokedtheplants.Stillotherseedfellongoodsoil.It

LaCasadeLaPaz

70

cameupandyieldedacrop,ahundredtimesmorethanwassown.Whenhesaidthis,hecalledout,Hewhohasearstohear,lethimhear.Hisdisciplesaskedhimwhatthis

parablemeant”(Luke8:5-9).

“Thisisthemeaningoftheparable:TheseedisthewordofGod.Thosealongthepatharetheoneswhohear,andthenthedevilcomesandtakesawaythewordfromtheirhearts,sothattheymaynotbelieveandbesaved.Thoseontherockaretheoneswhoreceivethewordwithjoywhentheyhearit,buttheyhavenoroot.Theybelieveforawhile,butinthetimeoftestingtheyfallaway.Theseedthatfellamongthornsstandsforthosewhohear,butastheygoontheirwaytheyarechokedbylife'sworries,richesandpleasures,andtheydonotmature.Buttheseedongoodsoilstandsforthosewithanobleandgoodheart,whoheartheword,retainit,andbyperseveringproducea

crop”(Luke8:11-15).

“ButthefruitoftheSpiritislove,joy,peace,patience,kindness,goodness,faithfulness,gentleness,self-control;againstsuchthingsthereisnolaw”(Galatians5:22-23,NASB).

Mayourheartsandmindsbeasgardens,filledwitheverygoodfruitofGod.

“Iamthevine,youarethebranches;hewhoabidesinMeandIinhim,hebearsmuchfruit,forapartfrommeyoucandonothing…Myfatherisglorifiedbythis,thatyou

bearmuchfruit,andsoprovetobeMydisciples.Justasthefatherhaslovedme,Ihavealsolovedyou;abideinMylove”(John15:5,8-9).

Sopassontootherswhatyou’vereceived.

Step11

Step10

LaCasadeLaPaz

71

WesoughtthroughprayerandmeditationtoimproveourconsciouscontractwithGod,prayingonlyforknowledgeof

Hiswillforusandpowertocarrythatout.

ReserveadailytimewithGodforself-examination,Biblereading,andprayerinordertoknowGodandHiswillformylifeandtogainthepowertofollowHiswill.


RelapseThinkAboutThis

1.Reserveadailyquiettime

ReserveadailytimewithGodforself-examination,Biblereading,andprayerinordertoknowGodandHiswillformylifeandgainthepowertofollowHiswill.

“Watchandpraysothatyouwillnotfallintotemptation.Thespiritiswilling,butthefleshisweak”(Mark14:38,NIV).

2.Evaluate

Yourevaluationneedstoincludeyourphysical,emotional,relational,andspiritualhealth.Anddon’tforgetthevalueofdoinga“HEART”check.Areyou…?

• Hurting?

• Exhausted?

• Angry?

• Resentful?

• Tense?

SpecialinstructionsforthisSteparefoundinRomans12:3-17(TLB):“Behonestinyourestimateofyourselves…Hatewhatiswrong.Standonthesideofthegood.Loveeachother…Bepatientintrouble…Dothingsinsuchawaythateveryonecanseeyouarehonestclearthrough.”

LaCasadeLaPaz

72

3.PlugintoGod’spowerthroughprayer

God’sguidanceanddirectioncanstartwhenyourdemandsstop!Bespecific inyourprayerrequests;prayabouteverything,askingforGod’sperfectwill.

“Don’tworryaboutanything;instead,prayabouteverything;tellGodyourneedsanddon’tforgettothankhimforhisanswers”(Philippians4:6,TLB).

4.Aloneandquiettime

JesusChristspenttimealonewithHisFather.Youneedtodothesame.SetadailyappointmenttimetobealonewithGod.Listencarefully;learnhowtohearGod!

“Intheearlymorning,whileitwasstilldark,Jesusgotup,leftthehouse,andwentawaytoasecludedplace,andwasprayingthere”(Mark1:35,NASB).

5.Enjoyyourgrowth

Rejoiceand celebrate the small successes along your road to recovery!Alwaysrememberyou’reona journey,a journeyofseveralSteps.Maintaininganattitudeofgratitudeisliketakingspiritualvitamins.“Ajoyfulheartisagoodmedicine”(Proverbs17:22).

Share your victories – nomatter how small - with others in your group. Yourgrowthwillgiveothershope!

“Bejoyfulalways,prayatalltimes,bethankfulinallcircumstances.ThisiswhatGodwantsfromyouinyourlifeinunionwithChristJesus”(1Thessalonians5:16-18,GNT).

“Testeverythingthatissaidtobesureitistrue,andifitis,thenacceptit”(1Thessalonians5:21,TLB).

6.SlowdownlongenoughtohearGod’sanswer

We can become impatient.Wewant our prayers answered now!We need torememberthatourtimingcanbeflawed,whileGod’stimingisperfect!

“Listentome.KeepsilenceandIwillteachyouwisdom!”(Job33:33,TLB).

“Ifyoudothis,youwillexperienceGod’speace,whichisfarmorewonderfulthanthehumanmindcanunderstand.Hispeacewillkeepyourthoughtsandyourheartsquiet

andatrestasyoutrustinChristJesus”(Philippians4:7,TLB).

LaCasadeLaPaz

73

7.ListentoJesus

Weneedtotakeatime-outfromtheworld’sratracelongenoughtolistentoourbodies, ourminds, andour souls.Weneed to slowdownenough tohear the Lord’sdirections.

“Testeverythingthatissaidtobesureitistrue,andifitis,thenacceptit”(1Thessalonians5:21,TLB).

“Leteveryonebesurethatheisdoinghisverybest,forthenhewillhavethepersonalsatisfactionofworkwelldoneandwon’tneedtocomparehimselfwithsomeoneelse”

(Galatians6:4,LTB).

“ListentotheLord.HearwhatHeistellingyou”(Isaiah1:10,TLB).

Hereareafewfinalsuggestionsforpreventingrelapse:

1.PrayandreadyourBibledaily.Establishaspecifictimeofdaytohaveyourquiettime.

2.Makeattendingyour recoverymeetingapriority.Stayclose toyoursupportteam.

3.Spendtimewithyourfamily(iftheyaresafe).Iftheyarenot,spendtimewithyourchurchfamily.

4.Getinvolvedinservice.Volunteer!


1. Whataresomeoftheways(tools)thatyouhavedevelopedinyourrecoverytopreventrelapse?

2. DoaHEARTcheckrightnow.Areyou…?

• Hurting?

• Exhausting?

• Angry?

• Resentful?

• Tense?

3. Specifically,whatdoyoudowhenyouare…?

Step11

LaCasadeLaPaz

74

• Hurting?

• Exhausting?

• Angry?

• Resentful?

• Tense?

4. Rateyourlisteningskillsfrom1to10,10beingthebest.

• Whataresomewaysthatyouthinkyoucouldimproveyourlisteningskillswithothers?

• WhataresomewaysthatyoucouldimproveyourlisteningskillswithGod?

5. Describewhataquiettimemeanstoyouandwhyitisimportant?

6. Howcouldyouimproveyourprayertime?Bespecific.

• Whendoyoupray?

• Wheredoyoupray?

7. Afteryoupray,doyouslowdownlongenoughtohearGod’sanswer?WhatdoesthewordmeditationinthisStepmeantoyou?

8. Whataresomeoftheotherthingsthatyoudoinyourrecoverytohelpyouon

yourjourneyandpreventrelapse?

9. Ithinkweallagreethatrecoveryisajoy,butitalsorequireshardwork.Whatdoyoudotocelebrateyourrecoveryeventhesmallvictories?

Gratitude Step11review:Wesoughtthroughprayerandmeditationtoimproveour

consciouscontractwithGod,prayingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandpowertocarrythatout.

LaCasadeLaPaz

75


ThinkAboutThis

OneofthegreatestwaystoworkStep11andtopreventrelapseistomaintainanattitudeofgratitude.

InyourprayersthisweekfocusonyourgratitudetowardGOD,OTHERSHehasplacedinyourlife,yourRECOVERY,andyourCHURCH.

“Donotbeanxiousaboutanything,butineverysituation,byprayerandpetition,withthanksgiving,presentyourrequeststoGod.AndthepeaceofGod,whichtranscendsall

understanding,willguardyourheartsandyourmindsinChristJesus”(Philippians4:6-7,NIV).

BethankfultoGod

“Donotbeanxiousaboutanything,butineverysituation,byprayerandpetition,withthanksgiving,presentyourrequeststoGod”(Philippians4:6,NIV).

“LetusgivethankstotheLordforhisunfailingloveandwonderfuldeedsformankind”(Psalm107:15,NIV).

“IsawtheLordalwaysinmypresence;ForHeisatmyrighthand,sothatIwillnotbeshaken.Thereforemyheartwasgladandmytongueexulted;Moreovermyfleshalsowillliveinhope;BecauseyouwillnotabandonmysoultoHades,NorallowYourHolyOnetoundergodecay.Youhavemadeknowtomethewaysoflife;Youwillmakeme

fullofgladnesswithyourPresence”(Acts2:25-28,NASB).

“¡HowpreciousisYourlovingkindness,OGod!AndthechildrenofmentakerefugeintheshadowofYourwings.TheydrinktheirfilloftheabundanceofYourhouse;andYougivethemtodrinkofriverofYourdelights.ForwithYouisthefountainoflife;InYour

lightweseelight”(Psalm36:7-9,NASB).

Bethankfulforothers

“LetthepeaceofChristkeepyouintunewitheachother,instepwitheachother.Noneofthisgoingoffanddoingyourthing.Andcultivatethankfulness.LetthewordofChrist

–theMessage–havetherunofthehouse”(Colossians3:15-16,MSG).

Step11

LaCasadeLaPaz

76

Bethankfulforyourrecovery

“Asforus,wehavethislargecrowdofwitnessesaroundus.Sothen,letusridourselvesofeverythingthatgetsintheway,andofthesinwhichholdsontoussotightly,andlet

usrunwithdeterminationtheracethatliesbeforeus”(Hebrews12:1,GNT).

Bethankfulforyourchurch

“EntertheTemplegateswiththanksgiving”(Psalm100:4,GNT).


1. Whydoyouthinkitisimportantforyoutomaintainan“attitudeofgratitude”inyourrecovery?

2. InwhatthreeareasofyourrecoveryareyouespeciallythankfulforGod’spower?TrytothinkofareasofgrowthorpositivechangeinyouthatonlyGodcouldhaveaccomplished.

3. NamethreepeopleGodhasplacedinyourrecoverywhoyouaregratefulforandwhy?

4. Whatthreeareasofyourrecoveryministry,smallgroups,orothereventsareyouthankfulfor?Why?

5. Listthreethingsthatyouarethankfulforinyourchurch.Bespecific.

6. Congratulations! You have just completed your first “gratitude” list. Review it.Howdoesitmakeyoufeel?

7. Letindividualsonyourlistknowwhatanimpacttheyhavehadonyourrecovery,andthankeachofthempersonally!

Step12

LaCasadeLaPaz

77

HavinghadaspiritualexperienceastheresultoftheseSteps,wetrytocarrythismessagetoothers,andpractice

theseprinciplesinallouraffairs.

Yieldmyself toGod tobeused tobring thisGoodNews toothers,bothbymyexampleandbymywords.

“Foroutoftheabundanceoftheheartthemouthspeaks”(Matthew12:34,ESV).

“HappyarethosewhoarepersecutedbecausetheydowhatGodrequires;theKingdomofheavenbelongstothem”(Matthew5:10,GNT).

“Brothersandsisters,ifsomeoneiscaughtinasin,youwholivebytheSpiritshouldrestorethatpersongently.Butwatchyourselves,oryoualsomaybetempted”

(Galatians6:1,NIV).

GiveThinkAboutThis

“Freelyyouhavereceived;freelygive”(Matthew10:8,NIV).

WhatdoesitmeantoGIVE?Let’sseehowI’llGIVE:

Godfirst

ByplacingGodfirstinyourlife,youwillrealizethateverythingyouhaveisagiftfromHim.Yourealizethatyourrecoveryisnotdependentonmaterialthings.ItisbuiltuponyourfaithandyourdesiretofollowJesusChrist’sdirection.

“(He)Didnotevenkeepbackhisownson,butofferedhimforusall!HegaveushisSon”–willHenotalsofreelygiveusallthings?(Romans8:32,GNT).

“Youcannotservetwomasters:Godandmoney.Foryouwillhateoneandlovetheother,orelsetheotherwayaround”(Matthew6:24,TLB).

Ibecomeswe

Step12

LaCasadeLaPaz

78

The12Stepsdonotbeginwiththeword“I.”thefirstwordinstep1is“we.”Theroadtorecoveryisnotmeanttobetraveledalone.

“LovetheLordyourGodwithallyourheartandwithallyoursoulandwithallyourmind.Thisisthefirstandgreatestcommandment.Andthesecondislikeit:Loveyour

neighborasyourself”(Matthew22:37-39,NIV).

“Twoarebetteroffthanone,becausetogethertheycanworkmoreeffectively.Ifoneofthemfallsdown,theothercanhelphimup.Butifsomeoneisalone…thereisnooneto

helphim…twopeoplecanresistanattackthatwoulddefeatonepersonalone”(Ecclesiastes4:9-12,GNT).

Victoriesshared

God never wastes a hurt! Step 11 gives us the opportunity to share ourexperiencesandvictories.Thisishowitwasforme…Thisiswhathappenedtome…ThisishowIgainedthestrength…There’shopeforyou.”

“LetusgivethankstotheGodandFatherofourLordJesusChrist,themercifulFather,theGodfromwhomallhelpcomes!Hehelpsusinallourtroubles,sothatweareabletohelpthosewhohaveallkindsoftroubles,usingthesamehelpthatweourselveshave

receivedfromGod”(2Corinthians1:3-4,GNT).

Exampleofyouractions

InJames1:22(ESV)itsays:“Bedoersoftheword.”Buttobeofhelptoanother,weareto“carrythemessageinallouraffairs.”

Youhaveallheardtheterm“SundayChristians”.Letusnotbecomejust“Fridaynightrecoverybuffs.”

“Mychildren,ourloveshouldnotbejustwordsandtalk;itmustbetruelove,whichshowsitselfinaction”(1John3:18,GNT).

TheLordspreadsHismessagethroughtheChrist-centered12Steps.WearetheinstrumentsfordeliveringthegoodNews.Thewaywe livewillconfirmtoothersthesincerityofourcommitmenttoourLord,totheprogram,andtothem!

Youhaveallheardthedivineparadox:“Youreallydon’thavegraceunlessyougiveitaway!”That’sStep12.

LaCasadeLaPaz

79

“Noonelightsalampandthencoversitwithawashtuborshovesitunderthebed.No,yousetituponalampstandsothosewhoentertheroomcanseetheirway.We’renotkeepingsecrets;we’retellingthem.We’renothidingthings;we’rebringingeverything

outintotheopen.Sobecarefulthatyoudon’tbecomemisers.Generositybegetsgenerosity.Stringinessimpoverishes”(Luke8:16-18,MSG).


1. WhatdoesMathew10:8(NIV)?–“Freelyyouhavereceived;freelygive”–meantoyou?WhatdoesMathew12:34(ESV)–“foroutoftheabundanceoftheheartthemouthspeaks”meantoyou?

2. HowhasyourattempttoputGodfirstinyourlifechangedyourunderstandingoftheword“give”?

3. Ecclesiastes 4:9 (GNT) tells us that:“Twoarebetter off thanone.” List specificinstancesinyourownrecoverywhereyouhaveseenthisverseinaction.

4.Whataresomeofyourrecentvictoriesthatyoucouldsharewithanewcomer?

5.InJames1:22(ESV):“BedoersoftheWord.”HowcanyoubeadoeroftheWord?

• Amongfamilyandfriends?

• Inyourrecoverygroup?

• Inyourchurch?

YesStep12review:HavinghadaspiritualexperienceastheresultoftheseSteps,we

trytocarrythismessagetoothers,andpracticetheseprinciplesinallouraffairs.

“Brothersandsisters,ifsomeoneiscaughtinasin,youwholivebytheSpiritshouldrestorethatpersongently.Butwatchyourselves,oryoualsomaybetempted”

(Galatians6:1,NIV).

ThinkAboutThis

WhenyoureachthisStepyouarereadytosayYEStoservice.

ServeothersasJesusChristdid

• Onthejob?

• Inyourcommunity?

Step12

LaCasadeLaPaz

80

WhenyouhavereachedStep12,youarereadytopickuptheLord’stowel,theonewithwhichHewashedthedisciples’feetintheupperroom.

“AndsinceI,theLordandTeacher,havewashedyourfeet,yououghttowasheachother’sfeet.Ihavegivenyouanexampletofollow:doasIhavedonetoyou”

(John13:14-15,TLB).

YieldmyselftoGod

Step12sumsuplikethat:YieldmyselftoGodtobeusedtobringthisGoodNewstoothers,bothbymyexampleandbymywords.

“Brothersandsisters,ifsomeoneiscaughtinasin,youwholivebytheSpiritshouldrestorethatpersongently.Butwatchyourselves,oryoualsomaybetempted.Carry

eachother’sburdens,andinthiswayyouwillfulfillthelawofChrist”(Galatians6:1-2,NIV).

Exampleis:Whatisimportant

Your walk needs to match your talk because your lifestyle reflects what youbelieve.Doesyourlifestyleshowothersthepatternsoftheworld–selfishness,pride,andlust–ordoesitreflectthelove,humility,andserviceofJesusChrist?

“Arousethelovethatcomesfromapureheart,aclearconscience,andagenuinefaith”(1Timothy1:5,GNT).

“Dearchildren,letusnotlovewithwordsorspeechbutwithactionsandintruth”(1John3:18,NIV).

HowYouCanSayYES

1.Beanaccountabilitypartner.LookforsomeoneinyoursmallgroupwhowillagreetoencourageandsupportyouasyouworkthroughtheSteps.Youagreetodothesameforthatperson.Youholdoneanotheraccountableforworkinganhonestprogram.

2.Beasponsor.SponsorsarepeoplewhohaveworkedtheSteps.Theirjobistoguidenewcomersontheirjourneythroughtheprogram,togiveagentlenudgewhenthey are procrastinating or slow them downwhen they are rushing through a Step.Sponsorsdosobysharingtheirpersonaljourneyontheirroadtorecovery.

3.BeinvolvedinyourchurchandLaCasadePaz.Therearemanyopportunitiesforserviceinthisrecoveryministryandinyourchurch

LaCasadeLaPaz

81

Remember:“Youreallydon’thavegraceunlessyougiveitaway!”


1. If you knew that you couldn’t fail,whatwould you like to domost forGod inhelpingothers?

2. WhataresomewaysyoucanpickuptheLord’stowel(John13:14-15)todayandstartservingothers?

3. InthewordsofStep12,howwillyoupracticetheseStepsinallofyouraffairs?

4. Describewhatthephrase:Youcan’tkeepitunlessyougiveitawaymeansinyourrecovery.

5. CreateyourownactionplanforStep12.

“Howlovelyonthemountains

Arethefeetofhimwhobringsgoodnews,Whoannouncespeace

Andbringsgoodnewsofhappiness,Whoannouncessalvation,

AndsaystoZion,YourGodReigns!”(Isaiah52:7,NASB).

InworkingthetwelvestepsthereareSevenreasonswegetstuck

LaCasadeLaPaz

82

As you complete your journey, you will discover the rewards of sponsoringnewcomers.Yourroleasasponsorwillbetohelpothersalongtheirjourneyontheroadtorecoverybyguidingthemthroughtheprinciplesandsteps.Yourtaskisnottopickthemupandcarrythemthroughthesteps,buttostandalongsidethemastheycompletetheirjourney.

Attimes,youmayneedtoslowthemdownwhentheyaremovingthroughthestepstooquickly;oryoumayneedtospeedthemupwhentheygetstuckalongthesideoftheroad.TherearesevenmajorareasinwhichIhaveseenindividualsgetstuckatsomepointintheirrecoveries.Itisimportantthatyouarefamiliarwitheachofthemsoyouhelpthemgetunstuck.

1.YouhavenotcompletelyworkedthepreviousStep

PerhapsyouaretryingtomovethroughtheStepstooquickly.Slowdown!GiveGodtimetowork!Remember,thisprogramisaprocess.

“SincewelivebytheSpirit,letuskeepinstepwiththeSpirit”(Galatians5:25,NIV).

2.YouhavenotcompletelysurrenderedyourlifeandyourwilltotheLord

PerhapsyouaretrustingJesuswiththe“big”things,butyoustill thinkyoucanhandlethe“small”things.

“IfyouwantfavorwithbothGodandmanandareputationforgoodjudgmentandcommonsense,thentrustintheLordcompletely;don’tevertrustinyourself.Ineverythingyoudo,putGodfirst,andhewilldirectyouandcrownyourefforts

withsuccess”(Proverbs3:5-6,TLB).

3.YouhavenotacceptedJesus’workonthecrossforyourforgiveness

Youmayhaveforgivenothers,butyouthinkyoursinistoobigtobeforgiven.

“Ifweconfessoursins,Heisfaithfulandrighteoustoforgiveusoursinsandtocleanseusfromallunrighteousness”(1John1:9,NASB).

“SooverflowingishiskindnesstowardsusthathetookawayalloursinsthroughthebloodofhisSon,bywhomwearesaved”(Ephesians1:7,TLB).

Haveyouforgivenyourself?

4.Youreallyhavenotforgivenotherswhohaveharmedyou

LaCasadeLaPaz

83

Youmustletgoofthepainofpastharmandabuse.Untilyouareabletoreleaseit,forgiveit,itwillcontinuetoholdyouasitsprisoner.

“Afteryouhavesufferedalittlewhile,ourGod,whoisfullofkindnessthroughChrist,willgiveyouhiseternalglory.Hepersonallywillpickyouup,andsetyoufirmlyinplace

andmakeyoustrongerthanever”(1Peter5:10-11,TLB).

5.Youareafraidoftheriskinmakingthenecessarychange

Youmaybeparalyzedbythefearoffailure.Youmayfearintimacybecauseofthefearofrejectionorofbeinghurtagain.Youmayresistchange(growth)becauseofthefearoftheunknown.

“Fearnot,forIamwithyou.Donotbedismayed…Iwillstrengthenyou;Iwillhelpyou;Iwillupholdyouwithmyvictoriousrighthand”(Isaiah41:10,TLB).

“Thatiswhywecansaywithoutanydoubtorfear,TheLordismyHelperandIamnotafraidofanythingthatmeremancandotome”(Hebrews13:6,TLB).

6.Youarenotwillingto“own”yourresponsibility

Youneedtotakeresponsibilityforyourpastinabrokenrelationship,adamagedfriendship,withadistantchildorparent,andsoforth.

“Examineme,OGod,andknowmymind;testme,anddiscover…ifthereisanyevilinmeandguidemeintheeverlastingway”(Psalm139:23,GNT).

7.Youhavenotdevelopedaneffectivesupportteam

Do you have a sponsor or an accountability partner? Do you have the phonenumbersofothersinyoursmallgroup?Haveyouvolunteeredforacommitmenttoyourrecoveryministry?

“Bewithwisemenandbecomewise.Bewithevilmenandbecomeevil”(Proverbs13:20,TLB).

“Dearbrothers,youhavebeengivenfreedom:notfreedomtodowrong,butfreedomtoloveandserveeachanother”(Galatians5:13,TLB).

“Shareeachother’stroublesandproblems,andsoobeyourLord’scommands”(Galatians6:2,TLB).

(Continuedfrompage2)

LaCasadeLaPaz

84

TheProblemofPassivityTheonlythingthatguaranteesourdefeatisourpassivity.Wehavecometorealize

thatit'snotenoughtowantchange,talkaboutchange,ordreamaboutchange.Dreamsareworthlessunlesswewakeupandactonthem.Forgoodthingstohappen,changerequiresmakingspecificallynewchoicesinhowtothinkandact.Faithiscentral.Godiscallingustoafaiththatisintentionalandspecific.“HewhocomestoGodmustbelievethatHeisarewarderofthosewhoseekHim,forwithoutfaithitisimpossibletopleaseHim”(Hebrews11:6).Fortotalrecoverypassivityisnotanoption.“Forjustasthebodyisdeadwithoutthespirit,sofaithwithoutworksisdead”(James2:26). PeaceisnotPassivity

AsGod’schildrenmadeintheimageofGod,wearemadetoworship.TheproblemiswecanworshipthingsotherthanGod,evengoodthingssuchaspeace.ForexampleasmuchaswelovepeacewemustguardagainstworshipingitoranyotherthingsthatwoulddistractusfromGod.Wewillneverfindpeacebylookingforpeace.ItistheresultofourrelationshipwithGod;JesusChristisourpeace.Seektherelationshipandwe'llgetthegift.Seekthegiftaloneanditbecomesanidol.WheneverweputotherthingsaheadofGodnomatterhowgoodthereisconfusionandspiritualdryrot.

PeacewithGoddoesnotmakeuspassiveandwithdrawn,butempowersustobeactivelyengagedinourworld."Weareintheworldbutnotoftheworld"(John17:15-16).AtthecrosswechosetoacceptGod’sgraceofrepentance,tobeemptiedofself-loveandanyjudgmentalspirit.ReconciledwithGodbythegraceof“repentancewithoutregret”westandindignitywithaconsciencevoidofoffensetowardsGodormen.(Acts24:16)ThebattleistheLord’sandinhumilitywehavebeeninvitedtostandwithHiminHistotalvictoryoverhellanddeath."Iwantyoutobewiseinwhatisgood,innocentinwhatisevilandtheGodofpeacewillsooncrushSatanunderyourfeet"(Romans16:19-20).With our peace and reconciliation in Christ we have ceased fighting anyone oranything, even our abusersmachismo and alcohol. The battle is the Lord’s, and thevictoryistheLord’s–“Itisfinished.”WithpeaceandreconciliationinChrist,wehaveceasedfightinganyoneoranythingevenmachismoandalcohol.Ourspiritisnolongerreactionaryagainstanyoneoranything.WeactonlyoutofGod'sgraceandtruth.WiththeHolySpiritcomesapowerfulnewfaithtospeakhonestlyandopenlythetruthinlove–forsomeofusforthefirsttimeever.AsachildofGodouridentityisclearlynolonger

LaCasadeLaPaz

85

withouraccusersorabuserstemptingusanddistractingus,insomecasesevenforcingsomeintobehaviorsweknowtobeself-destructive.It isfinished,ourfascinationanddistractionwiththepastisover-crucified.FreeoffearweknowwhoweareandnothingcanseparateusfromtheloveofGodinChrist.NowweknowsomethingofwhatDavidmeantinknowingGod'spresence,evenindifficultplacesinPsalm23:"Youhavepreparedatableformeinthepresenceofmyenemies,YouhaveanointedmyheadwithoilMycupoverflows,Surelygoodnessandmercywillfollowmeallthedaysofmylife,AndIwilldwellinthehouseoftheLordforever".Amen.

TheHolySpiritspokethroughPaul

"ButinallthesethingsweoverwhelminglyconquerthroughHimwholovedus.ForIamconvincedthatneitherdeath,norlife,norangels,norprincipalities,northingspresent,northingstocome,norpowers,norheight,nordepth,noranyothercreatedthing,willbe able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord"(Romans8:37-39).

la casa de la paz€¦ · la casa de la paz 1 dedication this book is dedicated to all who come...

Documents