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    Skills for LifeLevel 1

    Writing Examination Report - Test 055

    September 2006

    UCLES 2006 EMC | 4369d | 6Y10

    University of Cambridge ESOL Examinations

    1 Hills Road

    Cambridge

    CB1 2EU United Kingdom

    Tel. +44 1223 553355

    Fax. +44 1223 460278

    e-mail [email protected]

    www.CambridgeESOL.org

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    Skills for Life Writing (Level 1) Examination Report

    This report is based on candidate performance on Skills for Life (Writing) tests betweenSeptember 2005 and May 2006. It also includes data collected from a questionnairecompleted by candidates, which asks them to supply details of their age, gender, experience

    of English and first language(s).

    The report is intended as an aid to teachers and colleges in preparing candidates for futureCambridge ESOL Skills for Life (Writing) tests. It includes a number of sample candidateanswers accompanied by examiner comments.

    Level 1 (Test 055)

    The four tasks in this test were a report giving information about a minor traffic accidentwitnessed by the candidate, a letter to a college canteen manager giving feedback on thestandard of service at the canteen, an article for a local newspaper about a famous personand the text for a leaflet on successful job-seeking strategies.

    There were 36 marks available on the paper: 9 for Task 1, 12 for Task 2 and 15 for Task 3.This information is provided on the question paper. The breakdown of marks available foreach assessment focus (Text, Sentence and Word) is shown below:

    Text Sentence Word

    Task 1 3 3 3

    Task 2 6 3 3

    Task 3 6 6 3

    Overall, most candidates performed well on the paper with 73.4% scoring the 21 or moremarks required to pass. The average mark was 24. Candidates scored highly in the Text andWord focus, where the average mark was respectively 10.3 out of 15 and 6.2 out 9. Task 1was most successfully answered, with candidates gaining an average of 6.3 of the 9 marksavailable. Task 3 was the least well answered, possibly because candidates tended to scoreless well on Sentence focus and there were 6 marks, rather than 3, available for Sentence.

    Task 1 Witness Report

    In this task, the most successful answers were generally the simplest with three shortparagraphs to describe location, what happened and damage to the car. Some candidatesadditionally made successful use of headings. Describing location presented fewest difficultieswith most candidates achieving an appropriate level of detail. Some candidates attempted toocomplex a scenario when describing and explaining what happened with resulting loss ofclarity. Clarity was also sometimes lost when attempting too complex a description of damageto the car or when candidates tried to use vocabulary they were uncertain of.

    There was generally accurate use and combination of simple past and past continuous todepict location and most candidates, in describing and explaining a sequence of events, usedthe simple past effectively. Some confused the use of past simple / past perfect and simple

    past tense forms of regular and irregular verbs, e.g. hitted. The passive voice was generallyaccurately used to describe damage to the car.

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    Generally appropriate vocabulary was used when describing location and explaining whathappened. Describing the damage was generally found to be more challenging whencandidates attempted a higher level of precision and inaccuracies in noun phrases wereparticularly apparent, e.g. back left lighter, whole cars back, the damage on its behind.Spelling was generally accurate.

    Task 2 Canteen Feedback

    In this task, there was an opportunity for candidates to use their own ideas and they weregenerally not short of ideas as the vast majority had experienced or could imagine the issuesin their own college canteen provision. Many responses were longer than suggested and withlittle loss of coherence. The tone was generally appropriate, though at times rather toosevere. A minority of candidates spent too long on why students were unhappy with therestaurant and gave insufficient attention to improvements to restaurant service. Generally,paragraphing was good, with an opening paragraph, two or more main paragraphs and a

    concluding statement.

    Generally good use was made of modal verbs and present tense forms, and of complexsentences when describing why students were unhappy with the restaurant. Generally gooduse was made of first conditionals, imperatives, modals and other aspects of the language ofsuggestion when discussing improvements to the restaurant service. Connectives such ashowever, moreover, also, another thing is that, firstly, secondly, in conclusion wereaccurately used for the most part.

    The topic elicited a good range of appropriate vocabulary which was effectively used in mostcases; inaccuracies occurring when more complex collocations were attempted. There wasalso sometimes uncertainty over whether prices has rised, raised or risen and restaurant

    staff were sometimes stuff. Spelling, however, was generally accurate.

    Task 3a A Famous Person

    This was the most popular choice of the option questions (3a and 3b), possibly because itgave candidates the opportunity to select a personality of interest to them. Candidates oftenselected personalities from outside the U.K. and the most popular choices were musicians,singers, entertainers, actors, explorers, charity workers, statesmen, politicians and writers.Most candidates responded well to both parts of the question, though occasionally, if toomuch emphasis was placed on the first part, i.e. what the person did to become famous, thesecond part, why s/he was admired, was sometimes omitted or not explicitly stated. Generally

    this task was well-paragraphed with good opening and closing statements. Strongercandidates often introduced the article with an arresting title or use rhetorical questions in theiropening paragraph as a mechanism for arousing interest in the character chosen.

    Most candidates were able to demonstrate some proficiency in the language of descriptionand explanation with good use made of past tenses, complex sentences and clauses of resultintroduced with so, for this reason, that is why The task elicited a good range of tensesand verb forms, most of which were used accurately.

    The task elicited a good range of vocabulary relevant to the personality chosen with nodiscernible pattern of misspellings or usage emerging. This appeared to indicate thatcandidates had been well prepared for a topic of this nature.

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    Task 3b Job-Seeking Leaflet

    This task fell within the realm of experience of most of the candidates who chose to attemptthe question. Stronger candidates made use of a title for the leaflet, headings, an introductoryparagraph setting the scene, bullet-pointed information and a concluding paragraph, oftenwishing the readers good luck in their attempts to find a job. Weaker candidates tended not touse headed sections and/or to omit reference to one or more of the bullet points, typically thepoint referring to behaviour at interview. The tone used by most candidates was appropriatelyinformal and persuasive.

    This task elicited a good range of modal verbs and good use was made of imperative forms.Weaker candidates tended to restrict themselves to simple sentences using imperative forms.Stronger candidates often glossed the simple sentence instruction with a complex sentenceexplaining what was required of the interviewee in greater detail.

    This task elicited a good range of vocabulary relevant to this topic. The most commonspelling errors were carier, carrier, carreer and carrer for career (despite being given in

    the rubric) and among weaker candidates cloths for clothes. Two of the most commonusage errors were behave used as a noun and advices for advice.

    Candidate Information

    Approximately 65% of candidates were female and the largest proportion (49%) were agedbetween 21 and 30. Though the largest proportion of candidates had been learning English formore than five years, a sizeable group (36%) reported that they had been learning English forless than three years. Speakers of at least 56 first languages took this version of the test, themost common being Polish (19.8%), Spanish (8.0%), French (5.5%), Czech (5.3%), andSlovak (4.9%).

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    Recommendations for Candidate PreparationAll Cambridge ESOL Skills for Life tests are based closely on the Adult ESOL CoreCurriculum and cover all the Basic Skills Standards in each mode at each level. Therefore, byfollowing the Adult ESOL Core Curriculum, teachers will be preparing their students for thetests. Candidates will benefit from being reminded of the following Dos and Don'ts:

    Do

    make use of the guidelines which tell you how much to write and how much time tospend on each task.

    read the task instructions carefully and check that you have done what the instructionssay.

    think carefully about the intended audience and adopt an appropriate tone and style.

    plan your answer carefully to make sure you have balanced the points.

    make sure you use paragraphs and organise your answer appropriately.

    make sure your answer is grammatically accurate.

    make sure your writing is easy to read.

    make use of appropriate opening and closing formulae (such as Dear Sir or Madam orSee you soon) in letters and emails.

    Dont

    worry if you run out of space: your Centre will provide extra paper which will be markedin the normal way.

    waste time writing out a rough answer use effective planning instead.

    forget to check that you have covered all the content points in the task.

    forget to spend time checking your answers for grammatical accuracy.

    Sample ScriptsSample scripts are provided for each task in the question paper. Please note that it is notpossible to reproduce the original candidate answers, and so any references in thecommentaries to quality of handwriting will not be reflected in the samples provided.

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    Level 1 (Test V055) Sample Scripts and Commentaries

    Level 1 Script ATask1 (About 10 minutes)

    You were in the town centre recently when you saw a minor accident. A lorry hit a parked car but the lorrydriver didnt stop.

    The owner of the parked car has asked you to write a witness report to describe what you saw.

    In your witness report: say where you were give details of what happened describe the damage to the parked car.

    Write about 80 words.

    I was standing right on the corner next to the swichshop its junction of Russel street and

    Monument road. The Lorry very big one actually, had arraived from my left hand side and was

    trying to turn right but it seems there was to little space for such a big lorry. And it had hit the

    small car which was parked on the right hand side. I was astonished that the Lorry driver didnt

    even reduce his speed he just had drived away.

    Moreafter I had came closer to check if there is any damage there what I had sawn it was that

    the small car wich I relised was peguote hed lost its bumper and reare lamps witch indicator apart

    of this it was a few dents and scraches.

    (Total: 9 marks)

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    Level 1 Script A

    Commentary Band Mark

    Textfocus

    Task completed though there is some incoherence inplaces. The script would benefit from someparagraphing. Attempts to use cohesive devices arenot always successful (e.g. Moreafter).

    2 2

    Sentencefocus

    Frequent errors in structure (e.g. The lorry very big oneactually had arrived)

    1 1

    Wordfocus

    Frequent basic spelling mistakes e.g. swich shop,reare, scraches

    1 1

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    Level 1 Script BTask1 (About 10 minutes)

    You were in the town centre recently when you saw a minor accident. A lorry hit a parked car but the lorry

    driver didnt stop.

    The owner of the parked car has asked you to write a witness report to describe what you saw.

    In your witness report: say where you were give details of what happened describe the damage to the parked car.

    Write about 80 words.

    It was 5pm, I walked on the Albert road in direction to the library (close to the town center), when I

    heard a strong noise like a crash or a car accident. I checked around myself and I saw a lorry car

    (Renault brand) hiting a parked car. The lorry driver wants to park in front of the car but there was

    not enough space. So the lorry hit the bonnet of the car. The light is broken and it miss some

    painting. The lorry driver checked whats happened with the mirror and go out without saying

    anything and giving any address or matricule.

    (Total: 9 marks)

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    Level 1 Script B

    Commentary Band Mark

    Textfocus

    Task completed. Target reader would be adequatelyinformed.

    2 2

    Sentencefocus

    Some evidence of ability to construct complexsentences marred by verb tense errors.

    1 1

    Wordfocus

    Generally accurate spelling with some minor errors,(e.g. matricule, miror). Evidence of some appropriatevocabulary (e.g. bonnet).

    2 2

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    Level 1 Script CTask2 (About 25 minutes)You see this notice in your college restaurant.

    You decide to write a letter to Mr Smith giving your views.

    Write about 130 words. You do not need to write the address or the date.

    Dear Mr. Smith,

    How are you? I am a frequently customer in a restaurant, Id been come to the restaurant

    five times a week. It was because I find the good quality foods in the restaurant. Unfortunately,

    there are changed a lots, the food are cold, some foods are too salty, the main reason is the

    environment has been changed. Some people who smoked in the restaurant even though there is

    a no-smoking notice showed on the table. Everyone should know that cannot smoke in the

    restaurant I am very angry about this. I know you have provided very good services in the

    restaurant, but the quality of foods and the environment of the restaurant are also very important.

    There are some of my classmates, they are allergic in smoke so that why they dont go to recently.

    I hope what I mentioned above can help to improve your services. At the end, I hope we will come

    back again.

    Yours faithfully,

    Berta

    (Total: 12 marks)

    ollege RestaurantHelp us to help you!

    We have noticed many students have stopped using the restaurant recently. We would like

    to know why students are unhappy with the restaurant and how we can improve our

    service.

    Please write with your views to:

    Philip Smith, Restaurant Manager

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    Level 1 Script C

    Commentary Band Mark

    Textfocus

    The content of the task is covered, though there is alack of coherence in places. Register is not alwaysappropriate (e.g. How are you?).

    1 2

    Sentencefocus

    Frequent structure and grammar errors, such as inverb-noun agreement and sentence construction (e.g.so that why they dont go to recently).

    1 1

    Wordfocus

    Evidence of a range of vocabulary with accuratespelling.

    3 3

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    Level 1 Script DTask2 (About 25 minutes)You see this notice in your college restaurant.

    You decide to write a letter to Mr Smith giving your views.

    Write about 130 words. You do not need to write the address or the date.

    Dear Mr. Smith,

    I and my friends decided to help you to improve your service in college restaurant. First of all our

    opinion why students have stoped using the restaurant is the menu.

    You should make menu wich would containe more vegetable meals and rise. Students in our

    college are mostly from east Europe and Asia. They are not used to have for lunch everyday

    pizza, chips and fried meals. Decoration should be more nice and lively. That is first impression

    when students coming to the restaurant. It will help if you can buy some clothtable and put on

    every table some flowers.

    Me and my two friends we realy would like to help with everythink if is possible. Two year ago we

    were worked in Prague in five stars hotel. We apprecate coming and studying in this college,

    thats why we would like to help.

    (Total: 12 marks)

    ollege RestaurantHelp us to help you!

    We have noticed many students have stopped using the restaurant recently. We would like

    to know why students are unhappy with the restaurant and how we can improve our

    service.

    Please write with your views to:

    Philip Smith, Restaurant Manager

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    Level 1 Script D

    Commentary Band Mark

    Textfocus

    The content of task is covered. Target reader would beadequately informed.

    2 4

    Sentencefocus

    Lack of control of basic structure (e.g. we were worked)and frequent incorrect word order.

    1 1

    Wordfocus

    Numerous spelling mistakes (e.g. rise, containe,clothtable, realy).

    1 1

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    Level 1 Script ETask3a (About 40 minutes)

    The local newspaper in the community where you live is planning to publish articles about famous peoplefrom different countries. This might be a film star, a politician or another person from the past or present.

    You decide to write an article for the newspaper about a famous person that you admire.

    In your article explain what the person did to become famous and say why you admire them. Include anyother information that you think would be interesting for the readers of the article.

    Write about 200 words.

    Mr Li Den Hue is the ex-presedent of Taiwan. He was born in 1920 when Taiwan was ruled by

    Japan. His father Li Jing Long was a policeman, which was a very basic ruling class then, with

    low income. Mr. studied hard the got into the best university in Japan. After he was graduated he

    joined the govement. Very soon China took over Taiwan from Japan and Li was put in jail

    because he believed Taiwanese should be independent from Japan and China; Taiwanese should

    be their own masters.

    Being put in jail for 3 years he was set free because he made the Chinese

    govement believe he was loyal to them. Since then became smart and stayed in govement. 30

    years later he was a candidate of presdent; people voted him because he is a real Taiwanese and

    loves Taiwan.

    (Total: 15 marks)

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    Level 1 Script E

    Commentary Band Mark

    Textfocus

    All points addressed although second point notexplicitly.

    2 3

    Sentencefocus

    Evidence of ability to construct complex sentences butnot always consistent.

    2 4

    Wordfocus

    Good range of vocabulary with minimal error. 3 3

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    Level 1 Script FTask3a (About 40 minutes)

    The local newspaper in the community where you live is planning to publish articles about famous peoplefrom different countries. This might be a film star, a politician or another person from the past or present.

    You decide to write an article for the newspaper about a famous person that you admire.

    In your article explain what the person did to become famous and say why you admire them. Include anyother information that you think would be interesting for the readers of the article.

    Write about 200 words.

    Memory of famous actor.

    I am going to write about famous actor Marlon Brandon, who died one year ago. For me his life

    from childhood till his death was thrilling and very enteresting. I admire him a lot because when he

    was very down, never give up his dream to become an actor. Marlon was born in state of Korolina

    1926, to father who was busines man and his mum was house wife and occasionaly she had

    played in theathre. His father was mostly of the time working away from home. Womeniser. When

    was Marlon age of 8 his mum became alcoholic. When he shoul play with his friend, he was

    looking after his little sister and brother. Somtimes wasnt coming from pub home. Many time,

    when Marlon was looking for his mother, he had found her naked in the street or in a pub.

    However he always had admired her, therefore they shared love for theather, art and classic

    music. When Marlon decided left home, he come to New York. While he was in the city he was

    studying prestige acting school and working like waiter, postman, doorman ...

    The second and biggest reason why I admire this man is, that when he became famous and

    weolthy he never forgot about poor people. He was always full of empothy with emigrants and

    indians in who were discriminated in his time.

    (Total: 15 marks)

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    Level 1 Script F

    Commentary Band Mark

    Textfocus

    Task fully completed with attempt at expansion and toengage audience.

    3 5

    Sentencefocus

    Evidence of ability to construct complex sentences withsome errors.

    2 4

    Wordfocus

    Frequent basic spelling mistakes but evidence of agood range of vocabulary.

    2 2

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    Level 1 Script GTask3b (About 40 minutes)

    You have recently had some job interviews so your college careers office has asked you to write a leafletgiving advice on how to succeed at job interviews.

    In your leaflet, give advice on the following points: how to prepare for the interview what to wear and what not to wear how to answer the questions how to behave at the interview.

    Write about 200 words.

    Nobody likes being interviewed, but sometimes there is no escape from it, thats why there are

    things you can do to help you go throw it.

    First of all think positive, try to prepare your answers at home. Try to prepare all answers for

    questions you might be ask for example about your previous work, experiences, hobby,

    qualifications. Remember to look formal. Make sure your clothes looks clean and nice on you.

    Dont wear bright colours the best colour is grey or black. For men dark colour suit is esentiall

    For women neither trousers or skirt but remember that skirt cant be to short. Women shouldnt

    wear to much make-up too, and should remember about nice and formal looking hair style. You

    should answer all questions as honest as possible. Try to speak quiet loud and confident. During

    interview dont avoid eye-contact, thats really important. Try to sit on a chair propely and keep

    your hands on your knees. Dont try to dominate a conversation and dont try to change a subject

    if you are asked a particular question.

    Good luck

    (Total: 15 marks)

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    Level 1 Script G

    Commentary Band Mark

    Textfocus

    Task fully completed. Intended audience would beinterested and fully informed.

    3 6

    Sentencefocus

    Evidence of complex sentences with control over arange of tenses. Punctuation mainly correct.

    2 4

    Wordfocus

    Evidence of a range of vocabulary appropriate to taskwith some spelling mistakes (e.g. throw, esentinall).

    2 2

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    Level 1 Script HTask3b (About 40 minutes)

    You have recently had some job interviews so your college careers office has asked you to write a leafletgiving advice on how to succeed at job interviews.

    In your leaflet, give advice on the following points: how to prepare for the interview what to wear and what not to wear how to answer the questions how to behave at the interview.

    Write about 200 words.

    How to Succeed at Job Interviews:

    When we go to an interview we should have an enough preparation. Generally, we can have four

    parts to remind you.

    Firstly, have you got enough information about your job, like do you know what you are going to

    do? Have you got the suitable qualifications? Have you got the experience of that? Do you your

    job is? Why are you to be work here. All about are very important questions to need to know. It is

    because the interviewer, he or she also wants to know that you know what job nature is. Here is a

    tip, you can say what experience you had, how you can use your previous experienced and

    contribute into your coming job. You will get some marks during your interview.

    Secondly, we should talk about the wear:

    In most cases, we should have a formal dressing during the interview, but what is the formal

    dressing: Normally, men should wears suites, ties, shirts and cleaned shoes, tie may not be

    necessary, but tidy must. No sport shoes, jeans. For ladies, they may have a dress or tidy suites

    also very good dressing for an interview.

    Thirdly, during the interview, you may answer the questions from the interviewers, you must

    answer what they asked, that mean your answer must be related to the questions, dont ask too

    much about the others.

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    Tips = Try to think about the questions that the interviewers will ask you, and prepared the answer

    in your mind.

    Finally, how you behave well in your interview:

    The last three points above mentioned plus you sleep well before to interview, Finally wishes you

    interview succeed.

    (Total: 15 marks)

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    Level 1 Script H

    Commentary Band Mark

    Textfocus

    Task addressed though with a lack of coherenceresulting from poor control of structure and syntax.

    1 2

    Sentencefocus

    Frequent structure and grammar errors. 1 1

    Wordfocus

    A range of vocabulary but not always usedappropriately.

    2 2