A Personal Retreat

I tried to apply K’s teachings to my own experience of nature at the K Center. I find the Center to be an extraordinarily beautiful place, and I spent most of my days walking in nature on the beaches, trails and country roads.

I spent a lot of time watching my thoughts as K suggests, and can confirm that they are entirely made up of the past, or anticipation of the future. I find that being in nature makes it easier to experience the present moment without division, where the observer is the observed, where there is only experiencing, but no experiencer. I noticed that when one is just listening and looking openly then the mind is silent. When thinking comes in it wants to label experience, and comment about it. But there can never be a thought about the absolute present, it’s too immediate – the moment a beautiful flower is seen there is no separation in that instant but when the mind comments about the beauty, it is already in the past and not fresh.

Taking photos can aid in noticing beauty. It seems to heighten attention and I love noticing the details of nature that are entirely missed if we are walking in nature and lost in thought. The pictures below illustrate this beautifully – notice the heart on the wildflower and the incredible detail and beauty of the rocks on the aptly named Pebble Beach. Simply stunning.

The picture book “Flowering” sums it up well:

“Beauty is where you are not. It is a tragedy if you don’t see this. Truth is where you are not. Beauty is, love is, where you are not”.

KLKrishnamurti Centre Personal RetreatApril 14-18, 2017

Report on a ‘Beyond Myth and Tradition’ Film Series Session

at the Monterey Centre in Victoria, June 13, 2018

Topic: Choiceless Awareness

In this video K goes into topics of Observation, Fear and Attention.

As usual the half hour video was very much appreciated. Some were quite moved by it, especially K’s talks in the last year of his life.

Discussion after the video centred mostly around the directions that K gives for true observation. He advocates training a highly sensitive mind through being aware on a daily basis of every simple thing that is taking place, as well as the movement of thought. This requires intention! It was commented, plus examples were given. of doing this in special retreat conditions or when reminded, but how easily that is lost in the ambitions of life and living.

Again there was the reminder, which we talked over, with examples, of being aware of “what I am” and not “what I should be.” Even in attending to the video it was noted that the mind wandered through association to other topics. Obviously in being reported on, it was observed, where it may not otherwise have been. It was noted that attention can notice the movement of mind when it is not concentrated on content of mind. “Can you observe without choice or desire?”

It was acknowledged that a judging self quickly tries to orient the movement of mind to something that is preferable. K discusses this as the effort of psychological becoming, which sets up conflict. We looked at many examples, such as non-violent communication training, mindfulness training, and psychological self-help, which are quite deeply conditioning us at this time in history. All assume a becoming (better) in the future.

It was pointed out that when we read K books, these were not actually written by him but were transcribed talks. It was commented that there is a deeper listening when he is present, even on video, than there is whilst reading, which tends to look for memorable concepts. An astute observation.

We ended at 5 pm for a two month summer break. Everyone present continues to come to the weekly coffee group.

LW/RT

The new fountain and bird feeder

Brockwood Park Retreat July 2018

“ I think it is essential to sometimes to go on retreat, to stop everything that you have been doing, to stop your beliefs and experiences completely, and look at them anew.”

J Krishnamurti

“ As I see it, A study center has become a necessity because this is the place where the treasure is. From that treasure you can draw. You can draw your strength, your energy, your sustenance...here is something that is sacred...and from that everything flows. It must last a thousand years, unpolluted, like a river that has the capacity to cleanse itself, which means no authority whatsoever for the inhabitants. The teachings themselves, have the authority of truth.”

J Krishnamurti

It takes planes, trains and automobiles to travel from KECC, Victoria, to the village of Bramdean, 60 miles south west of London, in Hampshire, UK, the rural home of the Brockwood Park Study Retreat Center.

After this long journey, alighting from the final taxi ride, a little weary, I stand.... still for the first moment, allowing senses, dulled from the tedium of travel, to flower again in this world away.......bird song, perfume, the crunch of gravel underfoot, sheep calling, foliage, sunshine and above all, a pervasive sense of peace. Once inside the heavy wooden front door there is a warm welcome from Wilfred, a cup of tea and the sanctuary of a quiet room overlooking, as all rooms do, the tranquil grounds and beyond, to the rolling hills of Hampshire.

It is two years since I was last here and now there are ten days of retreat time ahead. The first few days of no agenda followed by a 5 day study/dialogue with 11 others who have also travelled from Europe, London, Scotland to be in this remarkable and unusual setting.

All who find their way here are privileged indeed to be housed in such a remarkable and beautiful, sacred building. At first glance it looks like a sprawling English country manor house, set, as it is, in 40 acres, but is indeed much larger than that (19 single rooms.) It was designed by the architect Keith Crowley in consultation with Krishnamurti. The design was the result of a dream in which Crowley ‘saw’ the building as being in the form of a seated meditator with a quiet space being at the center. All rooms extend outwards from this core, which also holds a spacious dining room, to enjoy the organic, vegetarian meals, also a comfortable sitting room, so arranged to foster small group gatherings for mutual inquiry. Meals are taken at tables for 6 where visitors meet and share what interests them and what brings them here. There are many windows, such that all spaces open onto each other or to a courtyard. The library, which holds copies of all of the Krishnamurti books, videos and audios, in many languages, is tranquil with comfy chairs for reading and contemplating. A book shop offers many new and updated editions for purchase.

So much care and consideration was put into the creation of this place, (as well as everything in it) which opened a few months after K’s death in 1986. K had requested that it should last for a thousand years and would preserve the purity of the teachings. Those who manage the center, the guest helpers and the visitors, all present together at any one time, are encouraged to participate in this atmosphere of sacred space. The attitude of reverence is palpable and quite remarkable as a rarity in the 21st century.

The first few days were settling in to this silence with no access to Wi-fi, phone, TV or any other distraction. There is something akin to withdrawal as the absence of external stimulation sinks in. Walks on English footpaths are available outside the door, and wandering amongst the woods and fields is a lovely possibility of absorption in nature and summer tranquility. Even cars are infrequent on these roads. Horses and their riders are more common than vehicles. I cheated a bit, in that the nearby village ( A 6 k round trip walk) has a sweet little coffee shop at the back of the post office which has both free Wi-fi, newspapers and home baked treats. A little decadence goes a long way when the world of immediate gratification has been left behind!

After a few ‘settling’ days, more people arrived in preparation for an intensive retreat of video and dialogue, looking into the topic of the “Transformation of Man.” As always with a group of disparate people it took a while to settle in to becoming a whole group inquiring together for an official 5 hours a

day or so, but many more dialogues continued over meals and into the night. Others, including myself, took more personal quiet time for digestion of the seven sequential video/ dialogues.

I cannot say enough about the benefit of this kind of sustained inquiry and the sense of being present as David Shainberg, David Bohm and Krishnaji together dialogued on the topics of the nature of disorder, caused by a misperception of the nature of thought, a misperception of our natural capacity for image making, and the perennial conflict inherent in our relationships. All due to fragmentation. The barometer of “ the sorrow of mankind,” was seen as a central underpinning to all these fragments for investigation, for deconstruction.

Not only the content but the process of this initially chaotic, yet ever deepening rapport, between the three men, developed. One could say that the first two videos especially were fractious, and by the last there was a meditative harmony which could be felt by all, participants and viewers. Indeed in this series, K is at pains to consider the viewer.

Dr Shainberg obliges by frequently acting as ‘everyman.’ David Bohm, as always, is reliably as he is with K, the voice of rationality and objectivity. He provides a calm foundation to absorb the challenge of K and the excitability of Dr Shainberg.

Our group mimicked these processes and was alternately, thoughtful, reactionary, emotional, calm, confused, talkative, quiet, chaotic and possessing of insight. At these rare insightful moments, there was a sense of oneness, of being permeated by compassion, intelligence and love. Regardless of the fragmentary nature of habitual approaches, there was always held and maintained a sense of respect and acceptance which, outside of this particular place and circumstance, would be hard to imagine. Separation would be the norm, yet here ongoing participation and commitment to the process was evident as the gradual maturation of fragments into something whole.

Some ‘enjoyed’ it more than others, some had not studied K at all, others for a lifetime, but regardless of history or experience I suspect that all were radically changed by such participation. The last words were these:

“All these discussions, dialogues have been a process of meditation. Not a clever argument but a real penetrating meditation which brings insight through everything that is being said. Seeing the truth of every statement, or the falseness of every statement. Seeing the false as it comes out in each of us and is clarified. Seeing all this is to be in a state of meditation and then whatever we say leads to the ultimate thing. Then you are not sharing.

Where are you?.........There is no sharing. It is only that.”

K & Shainberg

Now, on the long flight homewards, I am so very glad that I went. It was not a vacation by any means, yet more worthwhile than almost anything one could imagine. I will be back, and recommend to anyone who has found an inkling of the love and wisdom inherent in K’s teachings that they take up the invitation to visit, at least once, this extraordinary and unique place on planet earth.

LW July 2018

The Biological Wrong-Turn – Is there any way back from Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

Even as a child of ten, to the surprise of one of Oppenheimer’s colleagues, I had figured out how to build an atomic bomb. He happened to be visiting our house because my mother was always inviting over guests. This fact is not meant to be a reflection on my own brilliance, but, rather, on the rudimentary nature of the technology involved. Even then, once I had that under my belt, I decided the far more noble thing for any nuclear physicist (for that was my ambition at the time) would be to turn their attention towards a clean energy source like nuclear fusion or other alternate for the good of mankind.

Ladies and gentlemen, that was in 1976 and, now, it is 2018. I have often asked myself if a ten year old could figure out nuclear fission, could not the best brains in the world figure out nuclear fusion or a better alternative in 40 years? – apparently, not, since nuclear fission still reigns supreme at nuclear power plants across the globe with all its radioactive waste and other hazards.

Following over 1000 nuclear tests and detonations in New Mexico and at the notorious Nevada Test Site, the US developed the atom bombs that were deployed on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945 to end World War II. At autopsy, 17% of Hiroshima & Nagasaki atom bomb survivors were found to have thyroid carcinomas. Ironically, studies in the 1950’s, revealed that individuals exposed to radioiodines generated by detonations at the Nevada Test Site also had an excess of thyroid neoplasms.

Did you think that was the end of the nuclear story? So did I, until I attended a conference in Bosnia and Herzogovina and started to research the topic upon my return. That was just the beginning of how we entered the atomic age, my friends…In the 1950’s, even after WWII, America continued testing nuclear devices in the Bikini & Marshall Islands. The consequences for the natives were devastating. Many islanders developed thyroid nodules and thyroid cancer within a decade.

The short-term effects of environmental radiation include a decrease in white blood cells and a weakened immune system. Chronic fatigue is another symptom associated with radiation exposure and various disorders such as respiratory, pulmonary, and digestive. Many radioactive isotopes generated by nuclear explosions will remain in the environment for thousands, if not millions of years and these can be transmitted into the human body through the air, water, and soil. Gamma radiation released steadily from these radioisotopes can also cause somatic genetic mutations and other DNA damage, which may be transmissible to future generations. The long-term effects of radiation can include leukemia, thyroid and other cancers in humans.

The first nuclear fission-based power plants started to spring up in Russia and America during the 1950’s. And, slowly, the nuclear power plant disasters started to pile up decade upon decade and pollute the environment – Three Mile Island, Chernobyl, Fukushima…In the 1980s, Soviet and other scientists started warning about the impact of nuclear weapons on global climate and their role in climate-change. Then, in the 1990’s, some unscrupulous individuals had the bright idea of using the nuclear waste from these power plants to make depleted uranium weapons. Depleted uranium is a by-product of the uranium enrichment process employed in nuclear reactors. It has been used to make depleted-uranium bombs and to coat bullets, which proved to be effective armour-piercing projectiles. The US & NATO proceeded to use depleted-uranium bombs and bullets in the Gulf War, the invasion of Iraq, the Bosnian and Serbian War, Afghanistan, and, contemporaneously, in the Syrian War.

Taken together, this means that a significant portion of the world is contaminated with radioactive heavy metals, now, and, that the citizens of these countries suffer their deadly and debilitating radiochemical effects daily. It is a fate equal to consigning our fellow human beings perpetually to the final hell of Dante’s Inferno right here on this earth. The potential pollution of the entire planet with this radioactive waste in endless wars should be cause for humans to examine their collective conscience.

Do we need to re-think a nuclear world? Surely, by creating a weakened race of humans with cancers and immune deficiencies, the future of mankind is in jeopardy, and total extinction lies that way. Animals and plants are not immune to the biological effects of radiation either and the extinction of a myriad other species lies down this garden-path we find ourselves treading. When I got back from Bosnia & Herzegovina, I kept looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person I saw there – inside, I felt like I had been shattered into a thousand tiny, little pieces. The whole world I knew had come crashing down – our society, civilization, media, politicians, institutions of higher learning had all completely betrayed and deceived us by pretending to be so morally virtuous. However, they had successfully hidden this skeleton. It was as if there was not a single beating heart left in the world and everything had suddenly turned to stone.

There is not much around us in the world to help us retain our equilibrium, but the two shining examples that came into my mind were Krishnamurti and David Bohm, who had actually been conducting workshops on using Dialogue as a means of peaceful communication at Swanwick concurrently with the development of depleted uranium weapons and just prior to the NATO bombing of Yugoslavia. Suddenly, it seemed like something momentous had taken place during that era…something that we must continue into the present…something that may be our only hope…so, here we are, asking ourselves if there is an alternative to the exclusive self-interest of war in our own lives. If we can change, perhaps, the world around us will also change.

I would like to open this dialogue session with a quote from Life Ahead by Krishnamurti –“We have been talking about the deteriorating factors in human existence, and we said that fear is one of the fundamental causes of this deterioration”.

Personally, I have never been so afraid of the human capacity for destruction in all my life.

CS presented on August 18, 2018 at the ‘You Are The World’ dialogue-retreat

The Bird in the VerandahPart VI, September 2001

CS - I’ve been thinking about the longing and regret common to most humans that seems so hard to shed and shake off like a snake-skin; the longing for the future and regret for the past.

It seems to hover around us, to surround us, to follow us everywhere like a shadow. What is it, that we don’t seem to be able to drop it?

It holds us captive like the bird in the birdcage that won’t fly away, even though the door is open.

Is it fear of the unknown?

Is it to do with the perception of life as a continuum - a continuous series of events -and our reluctance to drop that “theory” even for a moment?

Are we just like jaded scientists ? - our theory fits some of the data, so we’ll stick to it.

We’re not open to something new and unexpected.In fact, we’re not even ready for love which blasts the continuum to smithereens..

CS - In Sufi poetry, the theme “to be free means to be free of sensuality” comes up over and over again.

AA - I like to call it “sensism”, as sensuality includes all that brings joy and beauty in life also.

CS - I have really used the word “sensuality” in a provocative way. I mean a perception of lifethat is limited to the senses. So “my anger”, “my lust”, “my passion” carries enormous weight and I continuously give it validation.

AA - Yes, that is true.

CS - “My” violence is justified...but, “yours” is not! My wanting must be fulfilled and my anger is righteous.

I just do not consider that there may be something beyond my emotions.

AA - On the other hand, an idea like “non-violence” is equally dangerous.

CS - Just as is the idea of sensual repression or suppression.

AA - Indian theology is an interesting study in that regard - the polarization of Vedanta and

Tantra. Two extremes.

CS - Perhaps, both are products of excessive cerebration!

AA - Indeed, the Buddha was sorely misunderstood by the scholars. He never preached eradication of the self.

Freedom is something that must be discovered anew by each generation. It cannot be accumulated like knowledge: wisdom is not transferrable.

CS - Then, what can one do?

AA - As Confucius said, “Light a candle in a dark room”.

[These are personal impressions of dialogues with Professor Allan W. Anderson printed with his permission given on May 23, 2010; in no way does Chanda Siddoo-Atwal (CS) purport that these are verbatim discussions, but only excerpts recalled after conversations in which she has tried to “pluck out” their essence from her notes taken during these talks. It shall be serialized in its entirety as a tribute to his life and work in the coming issues of The Swanwick Star. This is the fifth serial installment from a compilation called "The Bird in the Verandah"]

IN MEMORIAM

Anne McPherson was half the teaching team (along with identical twin "Cappy") of English literature for a short time at Wolf Lake School. She was a dynamic teacher with a terse sense of humor, who really relished imparting personal insights on Shakespeare (whether King Lear or Macbeth) to her students. She was always keen to take students on field trips to the theatre so that they might absorb some local color & culture on the subject matter. And, surely, she was able to enrich her students' lives by giving them an appreciation of art & Shakespearean drama. Sadly, she passed away this year in Toronto at the age of 84 after a long illness.

Sadly, long-time Vancouver Dialogue Group member, Steven Sallay succumbed to a bladder infection while in hospital in July at the age of 80. He shall be remembered for his relentless perseverance in pursuing the Unknown, a real spiritual warrior who was intent upon breaking through to the other side! We trust, now, he has found what he was always looking for – at least, the possibility is there that he has found some sort of peace at long last.

Our brave and beautiful neighbor and friend, Smythie, who pulled horse carriages in Victoria for many years, also succumbed to cancer earlier this year. He was one of the finest specimens of the equine species that could ever be found with the sweetest of temperaments and shall be sorely missed when we go to feed his friend, Bluie, carrots and apples in the evenings. Apparently, at one time, they spent a little time in the Swanwick Centre fields, too.

Steven Sallay (1937-2018)

Steven Sallay was born in Hungary and experienced both occupations under German as well as by Soviets. After the uprising against Soviet occupation, he immigrated to Canada and initially lived in Abbotsford and then moved to Vancouver.

He was an architect by profession, but lived the life of an artist. he has painted various paintings that are in possession of his family and friends.’

He started with ‘Fourth Way’ of G.I. Gurdjieff and P.D. Ouspensky and eventually got interested in the teaching of J. Krishnamurti. I met him in 1987 when he attended a Video showing of J.Krishnamurti in the West End.

In ‘Mundaka Upanishad’ we read about two birds, very identical, one dancing, singing, arguing fighting etc. A very busy one. While the other one sits and watches the first one.

Steven was like this, he was always very passionate about his understanding, views, opinions etc. He defended them and fought for his views,

This one has departed us.

The other one?

How can we forget his other side like the second bird, sitting and watching.

Shanti

NR, October 2018

Throughout our 28 year friendship I had the privilege of discovering Steven the artist, the intellectual, and the man. I will remember the fascinating ‘Persistence of Memory’ lithograph by Dali in his living room, his acuarela cityscapes as well as his beautiful depiction of Michelangelo’s Pietà, which he made when young and presented to me when he found out I was once a Catholic.

As the intellectual, I will remember his passion for architecture, for Jiddu Krishnamurti, the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and his admiration for his uncle Elemér, who wrote “Mozgó Vesztöhely,” a book about survival and heroism in the Hungarian concentration camps.

And I will never forget the man who my children called Uncle Steven. On learning of his passing, my daughter Chantal shed tears for her adopted “Uncle." My son Emmanuel has nothing but fond memories of him.

RB, October 2018

A more fun memory and a diversion from philosophy was when we used to attend the Fairview Club on Broadway that featured the creme de la creme of Blues musicians in Vancouver. There Steven would be out on the floor, solo dancing, uninhibited and in full force. He received many compliments and cheers from musicians and patrons alike and as one patron put it he was "a barometer for the band". I remember him saying you need to bring that same energy from self-inquiry into the movements on the dance floor. He also said that his performance would be increased if the band played a little more "happy blues".

AS, October 2018