kicking impostor syndrome in the head
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The extended version of "Kicking Impostor Syndrome In The Head" as delivered at Open Source Bridge '13TRANSCRIPT
Kicking Impostor Syndrome In The Head
Denise PaolucciDreamwidth Studios
[email protected], June 18, 13
Impostor Syndrome “...a psychological phenomenon in which
people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of
their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they
are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
Tuesday, June 18, 13
Impostor Syndrome
OH CRAP, ANY MINUTEEVERYONE'S GOING TO
FIGURE OUT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY
NO IDEAWHAT I’M DOING.
Tuesday, June 18, 13
Diagnosing your Impostor Syndrome
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“You and John and Jane are all so good at what
you do!”
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Thanks! I really enjoy working with them.
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They’re good at this.I’m just good at
pretending.
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“I always look up to you as a role model!”
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Thanks! I’m really glad I can help inspire you.
Tuesday, June 18, 13
You wouldn’t if you knew how bad at this I
really am.
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“You’re always so good at solving problems for
others!”
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Thanks! We all help each other out
whenever we can.
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Except for that one mistake. And the other one. And that really
huge one. And the time I broke everything and everybody had to clean up my mistakes and then I
spent a week hiding because I felt guilty and was sure that
everybody was going to blame me for wasting all their time and I
Tuesday, June 18, 13
(breathe.)
Tuesday, June 18, 13
Tuesday, June 18, 13
Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(
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• Impossible to take pride in your work.
Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(
Tuesday, June 18, 13
• Impossible to take pride in your work.
• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.
Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(
Tuesday, June 18, 13
• Impossible to take pride in your work.
• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.
• Prevents others from having perspective too.
Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(
Tuesday, June 18, 13
• Impossible to take pride in your work.
• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.
• Prevents others from having perspective too.
• It makes you feel like crap :(
Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(
Tuesday, June 18, 13
Helping yourself
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0.Talk about the issue.
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1.Watch your language: some ideas are self-
reinforcing.
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Such as...
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• “Just”, “Only”, and other minimizers
Such as...
Tuesday, June 18, 13
• “Just”, “Only”, and other minimizers
• “I think”, “I don’t know if”, and other qualifiers
Such as...
Tuesday, June 18, 13
• “Just”, “Only”, and other minimizers
• “I think”, “I don’t know if”, and other qualifiers
• “I’m not a REAL X, but –”
Such as...
Tuesday, June 18, 13
• “Just”, “Only”, and other minimizers
• “I think”, “I don’t know if”, and other qualifiers
• “I’m not a REAL X, but –”
• “Should”
Such as...
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CC-BY-NC-SA http://www.flickr.com/photos/starfive/6729394929
(these are really hard.)
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2.Teach what you know.(Even if you think you
don’t know it.)
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3.Question corrections.
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4.Ask questions early and
often.
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5.Ask for perspective
checks from a friend.
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6.List your
accomplishments.(Own them.)
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Tuesday, June 18, 13
7.Practice accepting
compliments.
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Help others.(Especially if you’re in a
position of power.)
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0.Talk about the issue!
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1.Take questions
seriously.
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2.Make mistakes publicly.
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3.Call out others’
accomplishments, especially high-effort
ones.
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4.Document things that
“everyone knows”.
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5.Make it no big deal for people to ask for help
or admit defeat.
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Thank you!(It’s audience
participation time.)
Denise PaolucciDreamwidth Studios
[email protected], June 18, 13