FRIEND

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I would bedelightedto introduceand show youhow awesomemy dog is...

See that picture on the left? That’s Teddy. He’s my five year old, 20 pound, snorting, sniffling, drooling, panting black and white papilon mix. And in the few years since I’ve been in charge of him, I’ve done an immense amount of growing up. How can such a dainty little nugget of an animal make anyone more manly? (Believe me, I don’t feel particularly macho when I walk this little guy down the street.) It’s not about the size of the dog in the household, it’s the scope of the responsibility that falls upon the dog owner.

And while this wee dapper doggy may look refined, he’s much more high maintenance than you’d think. Co-existing with the little bugger has required more sacrifice, patience and maturity than I ever thought I’d have to muster before becoming a parent. What follows are a few important ways that owning a dog can make anyone a better man.

INTRODUCE

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man’sbestfriend

Congratulations! As a dog owner, you’ve just brought a permanent and prolific source of feces, vomit, drool, hair, anal gland leakage (you’ll see…), urine and sometimes even blood into your home.

If encountering a fragrant, auburn steamer coiled on your pillow sets your overly sensitive gag reflex off, then you’ve got some manning up to do. Luckily, as a dog owner, you don’t have a choice. Grab some paper towels, roll them sleeves up and get down to “business.”

SQUEAMISHNESS BE GONE

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Try that with a pooch in your house and you’re going to have some urine stains to deal with. Now, owning a dog isn’t quite the same as basing your entire schedule around your kid’s soccer practice. But it does mean that you’re going to have to drag your ass out of bed ten minutes early to stand out in the rain with Fido while he finds a perfect spot to mark his terri-tory every morning.

And you’ll have to do it again at least two more times a day before you pass out for the night. Don’t worry, though. Sucking it up and being responsible when you least want to be is worth it. It builds character.

On any given Friday, it’s a bachelor’s pre-rogative to wake up at 8:55AM, punch in at 9:01AM, punch out at 4:59PM and have the first shot down by 5:15PM. Then, roll back in at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning, crash on the couch and sleep like a hungover stone until 5PM.

ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE

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On that note, owning a dog introduces a concept that few single guys have yet to tackle in a real world situation: selflessness. Even when you shared a roof with roommates or frat brothers, everyone was pretty self-sufficient.

Your laziness, tardiness or sloppiness didn’t really hurt anyone but yourself. With a dog, it’s different. Now, you have to think about his com-fort, his rumbling belly and his insatiable need to go out and chase squirrels around the block at least once a day.

Dog ownership is one of your first opportunities to care about someone other than yourself.

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Jimmy Tran