Chemical Dependencys Impact on the Family

Jenna WashuleskiChemical Dependencys Impact on the FamilyAudienceObjective(Curtis, 1999)What is Chemical Dependency?(Curtis, 1999)Specific Issues Related to Chemical Dependency(Curtis, 1999)If chemical dependency is not addressed, it begins to consume each family member which leads to the disruption of internal regulationsDaily Routines (Day to Day Activities)Family Rituals (Holidays and Traditions)Problems become easily activated and members often overreact to the context of the problemIt becomes normal to blame others for problems to avoid resolutionShort-Term Problem Solving(Curtis, 1999)Accommodation and adaption to the chemical dependency Focus on short-term stabilityIsolation of the dependent member from others with intentions to protect dependents reputation If you dont see it, it isnt there.Denial If its ignored, it will go away.Accept behavior due to chemical dependency in previous generations Its inevitableShort-term problem solving prevents families from attempting an effective solution

(Curtis, 1999)7When chemical dependency becomes known in the family, there are two options:Challenge the associated behaviorAdapt short-term problem solving techniques and accommodate to the dependentFamilies that chose to adjust to the dependents behavior could experience one or all of three phases of families with chemical dependencyThe early phase, the middle phase, and the late phase(Curtis, 1999)All other issues in the family tend to become ignored when chemical dependency arisesFamily begins to revolve around managing drug-affected behaviorTypically, only select members of the family are aware of the dependencyFormer generations effect whether or not this behavior will be toleratedMembers may have developed patterns based on previous chemical dependency in the Family(Curtis, 1999)The challenge now is whether the family:Accepts chemical dependency as a fact of life and adjusts to the behaviorMakes effort to effectively target this issue Typically, families begin to focus on the members chemical dependency, but overtime, the family eventually adapts to the behavior.The family then moves to the middle phase

(Curtis, 1999)Currently, the dependency plays a central role in the family. It becomes the familys sense of self and controls the family life Family members adapt their lives around the dependents use and behaviorsThe dependent does not do the sameThe major task is committing to a set of family norms that will maintain stabilityPrevent the family from long-term growthMembers have immensely adapted to the chemical dependence instead of challenging it Family is developmentally inflexible and distorted

(Curtis, 1999)By now, the perspective on substance abuse and the beliefs and values regarding substance abuse are incorporated into the family culture and is transmitted to the children in the familyMajor tasks are developing a plan for the future. The family can only maintain short-term stability for so longChemically dependent families may not reach this point of change until a crisis has forced them to confront their problemThe family discusses different options they can takeFour Distinct Pathways(Curtis, 1999)1) The Stable Wet Dependent Family(Curtis, 1999)2) The Stable Wet or Controlled Use Nondependent Family(Curtis, 1999)3) The Stable Dry Dependent Family(Curtis, 1999)4) The Stable Dry Nondependent Family(Curtis, 1999)Child Abuse Alcohol- and drug-abusing parents were 3 times likelier to abuse their children and 4 times likelier to neglect them than parents who did not abuse these substances (CASA, 2005).Abuse can be physical sexual abuse, overt sexual abuse, covert sexual abuse, and emotional sexual abuseVery traumatizing and is linked to issues in their adult yearsInternalizes a sense of shame related to childhood abuse

(Curtis, 1999)ShameMajor factor identified wit chemically dependent systemsAn inner sense of being completely diminished or insufficient as a person the ongoing premise that one is fundamentally bad, inadequate, defective, unworthy, or not fully valid as a human beingShame-bound systems show addictive, compulsive, abusive, and anxious/irrational behaviorDependence is a result of shame. Shame typically derives from childhood, likely from a chemically dependent parent, which shows how chemical dependence can be multigenerational

(Curtis, 1999)Each member may make assumptions about his or her personal responsibility for the dependents use and increasing family dysfunction. Internalized pain and anger are developed from guilt and failed attempts to make things betterTo protect themselves from further pain, family members develop various survival roles to cope with the increasing conflicts stemmed from dependency Survival roles are used as a defense mechanism to cover up and protect the painful feeling their actually experiencing and to make them fit within the unit. (Curtis, 1999)As an individuals protective barriers intensify and strengthen, the entire family grows more out of touch with the reality of their emotions. As the dependent persons compulsion to use grows, so does the dysfunction between the dependents behavior and the familys reactionary compulsive coping behavior.The characteristics of survival techniques are broken down into six different roles between the family (Curtis, 1999)Does not correlate internal and external issues with their dependent behavior As the disease progresses, this person loses more and more personal control, not only of actual usage but also of behaviorAs a result, the person internalizes feelings of shame, guilt, inadequacy, fear, and lonelinessDoesnt necessary live in the reality of what is actually occurring

(Curtis, 1999)Tries to project or place others responsible for their dependency and family problemsIs usually not aware of their increasing dysfunction, but notices their relationship changing with others in the familyTheir sense of responsibility in the family decreasesTakes on defensive behaviors and characteristics as a result of their diseaseDenial, rationalization, and minimizationOther defenses that are displayed are irrational behavior, charm, rigidity, grandiosity, perfectionism, social withdrawal, threats, hostility, and depression

(Curtis, 1999)Is the closest person to the chemically dependent personIs usually the first family member to react to dysfunctionally to dependents behaviorIs protective of dependent, makes excuses, rationalizes behavior, and tends to make personal sacrifices for the dependentAssumes the responsibility for dependents emotional well-being and decision makingSelf-worth begins to correlate with the dependents chemical use(Curtis, 1999)Member thinks they are the reason for the chemical dependency If I caused it, I must be able to cure it. Members feel guilt and self-blame when there is an increase in dependencyIf only I would have done this.Declining self-worth results to emotional isolation, loneliness, internalized feelings of pain, anger, and low self-esteem which result in the member becoming more compulsive (Curtis, 1999)Enabling is anything done to protect the chemically depended person from suffering the consequences of, or makes allowances for, his or her behavior.Both prevent the dependent person from acknowledging the severity of the behaviorThe codependent consumes themselves with and is very close with the dependent; whereas, the enabler does not require an on going relationshipThe codependent becomes a victim of the disease

(Curtis, 1999)Generally the oldest childWorks in close alliance with the codependentSees and hears more than other children in the familyFeels most responsible for the family plan and improving the family situation Often excels in personal endeavors and is a perfectionist May be a workaholicMost likely to work in the helping professionContinuously seeks approval of familyWhen it is not achieved, member typically develops independent lifestyle away from family

(Curtis, 1999)Is noticeably the tip of the iceberg of stress experienced by the familyHas disruptive behaviorDemands urgent attention from familyStress creates too much effort for other membersDestructive behavior has become apart of their lifestyle; therefore, the individual and familys energy loss is not even noticed Family often blames the scapegoat for being responsible for familys dysfunctional stateDistracts family from the main issue the chemical dependency

(Curtis, 1999)Is aware of the unhealthy relationship between the hero, the chemically dependent, and the codependent members. Is accused of not caring about the good of the family, labeled as disloyalFeels rejected and alone in the familyMay separate themself from family and may consider suicideHas built up anger and resentment making it hard to keep a job or build relationships with othersFeels jealously toward the heroDefense behaviors are self-pity, strong peer values, defiance, and hostilityChemical dependency and criminal activity are not uncommon, especially at an early age

(Curtis, 1999)Distracts members and relieves tension by using humor and funFeels good making members laugh during difficult timesActs as family petCharacteristic defense behaviors are hyperactivity, charm, being super cute, and doing anything to get a laugh or be at the center of attentionAvoids pain through humorous control Being the center of attention develops a sense of power in the family

(Curtis, 1999)Feels alone, low self-esteem No one knows the real personNo one sees the tears behind the clowns maskMost members do not take the mascot to seriouslyIf the mascot shows sadness, it is seen as lack of intimacy Fails to show true emotion for the fear of being rejected and upsetting othersDevelops into an immature and insecure adult that is unable to seriously recognize and express feelings

(Curtis, 1999)Is liked by everyone in the familyHas much in common with the scapegoatBoth feel insignificant and unimportant within the familyFinds it easy to distance themself from the familyStays on the outside of the family, rather than becoming involved in itBuilds a private worldPrivacy creates isolation from family which results in broken promises, exclusion from family activities, and doesnt get certain information by other members

(Curtis, 1999)May experience problems with Being under- or overweightPhysical and emotional distancesPromiscuity and sexual dysfunctionSexual identity problems Characteristically has difficulties developing close relationships in their personal lifeAs an adult, is most likely to beHighly independentQuietExtremely creativeAs a result of childhood dreams of having the perfect familyAttached to things and being materialistic

(Curtis, 1999)Are distinct, but members can switch roles For example, the hero is a natural step into the codependent roleAll family members are victims of the dependencyMembers should take the responsibility to change this Children rarely have a choiceChildren cannot prevent being victims but can be benefited by developing one of these six roles(Curtis, 1999)Parents who used tobacco or illegal drugs or abused alcohol put half the nations childrenmore than 35 million of themat greater risk of substance abuse and other physical and mental illnesses." The report found that of all children under age 18:13% lived in a household where a parent or other adult used illicit drugs24% lived in a household where a parent or other adult was a binge or heavy drinker37% lived in a household where a parent or other adult smoked or chewed tobacco

(CASA, 2005)Children in dependent homes learn to not feel, not trust, and not talk about the familys problems. As a result, they shut down emotionally.Growing up in this environment was typically not fun and the child could develop severe traumaSocializing for them is difficultChildren of dependent families are ore likely to develop behavioral disorders, depression, or anxiety than other childrenThese characteristics increase their risk to smoke, drink, and use other drugsTheir hopes, wishes, and plans were often set aside or forgottenAre taught conditional loveHave an increased risk of accidents, injuries, and academic failure

(Curtis, 1999)(CASA, 2005)Adult Children of Chemically Dependent Families(Curtis, 1999)These Adult Children tend to(Curtis, 1999)Educate yourselfAddicts thrive in an environment of ignorance and denialSee the member as a sick person and not a bad person Talk to someone professional and attend open meetings to learn recovering addicts personal experienceDont try to rescue the dependent memberIt is crucial that the member experiences the consequences of their behaviorDont financially support the addictionDont try to analyze the reason for chemical dependenceSay what you mean, and mean what you sayDont make false threats, actions speak louder than words(TCC, n.d.)Dont expect them to follow through with promises Dont preach or lecture to themAvoid the reactions of pity or angerDo not accommodate the disease Members should not putting all their energy on the chemical dependency Dont forget to take care of yourself and your own needsThis is a complex disease where professional support is highly encouraged (TCC, n.d.)Therapy and Treatment(Curtis, 1999)Understand that this is a highly emotional process for all members of the familyIt is not an easy process and that it takes timeIf it therapy doesnt work at a particular time, that doesnt mean it wont work in the futureAlong with family therapy, the chemically dependent member should have their own individual therapy

(Curtis, 1999)

Members should focus on theirindividual needs and continuetherapyMembers should know how to healthily demonstrate coping mechanisms during dysfunctional periodsConfront conflict whenit arises instead of ignoring or adapting to it

http://kyrorax.cajogos.com/?c=super-dr-cloting&p=27(Curtis, 1999)Does one or more family member have chemical dependency?Does it affect the familys daily routines and family rituals?Do members use short-term problem solving to achieve stability?Has your family gone through one or more of the three phases based on how chemical dependency impacts the developmental stages?(Curtis, 1999)Has your family experienced any of the four distinct pathways in an attempt to achieve stability?Do any of your family members fit the characteristics of the six survival roles? What role do you identify with?Do you believe recovery and therapy will benefit you and your family?(Curtis, 1999)If so, Its Not too Late!(Curtis, 1999)

Curtis, O. (1999). Chemical Dependency's Disruption of Organization. InChemical dependency: A Family Affair(1st ed., Vol. 1, pp. 67-74). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole PubCurtis, O. (1999). Critical Issues in Chemically Dependent Families. InChemical dependency: A Family Affair(1st ed., Vol. 1, pp. 75-88). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole PubTCC. (n.d.). The Counseling Center. The Family Role. Ten Ways Family Members Can Help. Retrieved December 1, 2014, from http://www.thecounselingcenter.org/the_counseling_center/10ways.htmlCASA. (2005, March 1). Ending Addiction Changes Everything. Family Matters: Substance Abuse and The American Family. Retrieved December 1, 2014, from http://www.casacolumbia.org/addiction-research/reports/family-matters-substance-abuse-and-american-family