A tale of twisted mystery involves our favorite celebrity

He finds a shrouded history As soon you all will see

Nic Cage was set to ski the sidesof Aspen mountains tall and wide.

And after his plane had arrivedin Denver, Nic Cage drew a sigh.

He waited at the baggage claim. But never did his bag appearThe TSA’s excuse was lame. Then something became clear:

Nic decided he must go and find his bagAnd adventure did ensue for this member of SAG

He found some clues that seemed so strangeMurals of death and things deranged.

Dying doves and New World OrderBurning forests and evilsoldiers.

And to his left was a stone plaque.Upon it described this ancient artifact

This time capsule for the people of 2094Was the key to the tunnels Nic will explore.

With the magic touch of Nicholas Cage He slipped down a slide into an underground maze

Dimly lit tunnels beneath terminal AHold the meeting grounds of the Freemasons today

Further on in the cavesNic came upon this secret parle

but being wise he continuedOnly to be greeted with a horrific view

There he saw all nation’s leaders brainstorming ways to oppress their people their order is called Skull and Bones.

And Yale was once all their homes

They have many secrets, let me sayand connections to the Illuminati and CIA

And then to Nic’s extreme surprise,a member took off his human disguise.

It was a reptilian alien! It was so non-mammalian!

“They’ve been living here for years and years”Thought Nicolas, now filled with fears.

“They control our world, and plot our demise.What jerks they are, what real bad guys!”

It was just then that Nic did seehis bag held by a reptile friend

“Our plan to rule the world has reached its final step.

For we have lured ol’ Nicolas Cagedown to our dark depths.”

“We’ll use his films and celebrityto make everyone slaves

He must comply willingly or be put in his graves”

A man yelled “CUT” off to his rightand suddenly he thought, “Oh yes, I’m acting in a film!

I must have just forgot.”