iwroteabookpdf.pdf

8/10/2019 IWroteABookPDF.pdf

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I Wrote ABook

ZACHARIAH SPINDLER


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To a couple awesome parents

and also everyone else


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I Wrote A Book


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I wrote a book.


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I wrote a book, and this is that book.


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Its a hundred pages long, and, boy, is it a masterpiece.


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With all the necessary elements for a thrilling read.


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A tight storyline that hits all the major plot points straight on the head.


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A compelling protagonist who is easily relatable and carries a lot of emotional depth.


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Yes, this book is quite good.


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The book that I wrote has a narrator.


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The name of the narrator is Leonard, though it never comes up in the book.


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Get ready for an enjoyable journey, says the narrator.


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One with twists and turns you'll never see coming."


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Then the narrator says, It all started with the onset of Neds fth grade year at school."


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You see, Ned is the main character of the book.


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It doesnt take long before the narration turns into rst person, and we forget that the storyunfolding before us isnt actually happening.


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Its being told to us by the narrator.


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And though we lose ourselves in this ctional world, it is very important to never forget thatyoure just a person sitting in a chair reading words from a page.


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Because no matter how eloquently written and masterfully crafted the words are, they are still justwords on a page.


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The ideas and viewpoints they express, however, are something more.


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Yes, those, those are worth ghting for.


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Those carry weight beyond measurement.


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But not the pages of the book.


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No, no, not those.


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Those can be measured quite easily.


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This is the twenty-fth page.


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Theyre making us all present in front of the class! Ned will say with dread.


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And Neds mother, Karen, will respond something like, Whats so bad about that?"


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"Its good for you, shell express.


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Ned will moan and groan until the dogs come home.


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But Karen will always give him encouragement.


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And Neds father will do his best to calm the nerves of his son as well.


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I bet the boy and his dad will nd themselves, at some point, playing catch in the backyard.


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Youre gonna do ne, Vince, the dad, will say sometime just before throwing the ball.


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And Ned will voice a quiet statement, essentially acknowledging that he heard his father but stillisnt quite sure.


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Time will pass and Ned will stress the presentation.


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All the while never actually starting on the project.


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Hell mean to, oh yes, hell mean to begin the work.


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But something will always come up.


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Because, you see, Ned is like many kids.


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Simply put, hes a busy boy.


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Soccer practice on Mondays.


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Karate lessons on Thursdays.


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Hes also starting the tenor saxophone his band teacher thought hed make a good candidatefor the instrument.


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Also, there were way too many kids in the band playing alto.


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Finally the week of the presentation is here.


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Other kids in Neds class start to bring in big poster boards with dioramas and pieces for modelsthat will be shared with the class on Friday.


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The pit of Neds stomach probably drops on Tuesday.


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I have nothing started, Ned will think to himself.


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My life is surely over, becomes a recurring phrase.


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Wednesday.


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Thursday.


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Thursday after school.


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Karate lessons.


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Big dinner, sleepy Ned.


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Now is when the story snaps out of rst person and the narrator describes the moment Nedwakes up Friday A.M. with great detail.


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His eyes open with the suddenness of a hungry dog ravaging its just lled bowl.


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The terror level of an eleven-year-old boy has never been greater.


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Neds head will go to a million places at once.


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Rushing thoughts, I bet, cloud his judgement as he jumps out of bed and scrambles to nd apencil and paper.


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But his parents are too smart for that.


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Really theyre good parents.


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"If theyre so good, why didnt they make sure Ned was ready for the presentation? the readerwill question.


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I told you the story was full of twists.


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And parents get busy too.


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In this case, they simply forgot that the presentation was this particular week.


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They work and they keep the house and they care for their three kids.


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It all adds up to be a lot.


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So Ned will go to school with nothing but a few scribbles of preparation for his presentation.


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He probably sits in class, eyes forward, never moving, in pure panic.


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The class genius, Mark, goes rst and his presentation is phenomenal but also twenty minuteslong.


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A glimmer of hope, I can only imagine,shines in Neds noggin.


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And his eyes shift towards the clock.


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Sure enough, only half the class gives their presentation before its time for P.E. and a switch inthe days focus of study.


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Ned will escape unscathed.


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Karen will realize that today is presentation day around lunchtime and immediately ask Nedabout it when he gets home.


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I cant believe I forgot today was your big presentation, would be something shed say.


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How did it go?"


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Smooth old Ned, in his fth grade way, might say, good."


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And that would be that, amongst remarks and comments meant to reafrm the messages theparents had sent weeks ago now, about how it would all be ne and etc.


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And Ned, in his newfound hubris and naivety, surely, surely, is about to waste away theweekend.


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Lovely Saturday.


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Sunday brunch.


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Sun goes down.


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Sleepy Ned.


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Here, I bet, the narrator breaks from rst person again and quickly throws in elaborate detail onNeds second terror-lled morning in less than a weeks time.


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Most denitely, as is the way with books, the ending feels rushed and out of place andunfullling.


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So it is with this book that I wrote.


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We cut to class and, I bet, the teacher says something like, Ned, why dont you step on up andshow us what youve been working on."


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Slowly, with the weight of a thousand fth-grade lifetimes worth of baggage in each step, Nedwill make his way to the front, before taking a huge gulp and turning to face the class.


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Here, the last surprise in plot probably takes place.


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I bet Ned has a rush of brilliance and inspiration in the moment and goes off on a masterfully-crafted bout of creative genius, leaving the class, and teacher, no less, in shock and awe.


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No Powerpoint.


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No giant model or gimmicky handout.


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Just pure human necessity and spirit.


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The biggest lesson for us all; our most powerful tool.


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And thats the book.


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