Its not the suffering that warps us

Its not the suffering that warps us

Its the addiction to suffering

The fiddling with the scar

The exploration of the wound

With grubby fingers

Embedded in the hole we keep on digging

Deeper and deeper

Seeking the ultimate truth about ourselves

That gives significance and value

Groaning and sleepless

Into the pain we go

Following the WHY

Lured on by the spectre of an answer

To dig the bullet out that caused the wound

But supposing there is no bullet

Suppose at the bottom of the hole

We find a letter addressed to ourselves

I AM HERE BECAUSE YOU WANT ME

How do we handle that

How do we fill the gap left by our anguish

The Holy Hole

The Sanctum Sanctorum that we venerate

Empty and aching to be filled

We fill it with the suffering of others

For now we have the skills

Forensic tools to explore known territory

To further the investigation

The game is on again

Were good at this

Our hole is filled once more

And we are almost happy

Weve found a meaning to our lives

Havent we?

(from THE FRUIT THAT BITES BACK Copyright E. J. Ward 2015)