Its not easy to be…Its not easy to be…

MEME Copyright@2003 by Jamie Van Dycke

Two of the hardest things forTwo of the hardest things for

people with disabilities to do people with disabilities to do are: are:

1.1. talk about their disabilitytalk about their disability

2.2. identify their strengthsidentify their strengths

Some of our best Some of our best information for helping information for helping students with disabilities students with disabilities comes from self-advocates.comes from self-advocates.

There’s nothing easy There’s nothing easy about being a self-about being a self-advocate, and talking advocate, and talking about your disability.about your disability.

The following quotes came The following quotes came from students with disabilities from students with disabilities across the state of Oklahoma, across the state of Oklahoma, as they were learning about as they were learning about IEPs, and how to talk about IEPs, and how to talk about their strengths and their their strengths and their challenges.challenges.

Students know earlyStudents know early

“ “I’ve known since I was in third I’ve known since I was in third grade that something was grade that something was wrong with me. I wish someone wrong with me. I wish someone had explained LD to me then.” had explained LD to me then.”

Only MeOnly Me

““I hate having a disability. No one I hate having a disability. No one in my family has one. They tell in my family has one. They tell me that everyone has me that everyone has disabilities. But how come I get disabilities. But how come I get an SSI check? No one else in my an SSI check? No one else in my family gets one -- only me.”family gets one -- only me.”

Good at something…Good at something…

““You want me to tell you You want me to tell you something I am good at? I something I am good at? I am good at flunking. I am am good at flunking. I am good at messing up. How’s good at messing up. How’s that?”that?”

““What am I good at? What am I good at? Nothing. Isn’t that why I Nothing. Isn’t that why I have an IEP?”have an IEP?”

The Other SideThe Other Side

““There’s nothing easy about There’s nothing easy about having an IEP. Going over to having an IEP. Going over to the other side without being the other side without being seen -- that’s hard. I don’t want seen -- that’s hard. I don’t want people to know I have an IEP.” people to know I have an IEP.”

IEP Meetings?IEP Meetings?

““I thought IEP meetings were I thought IEP meetings were places where my dad and my places where my dad and my teachers got together and teachers got together and talked bad about me.”talked bad about me.”

Meeting Times?Meeting Times?

““We always met before or after We always met before or after school, and I sneaked in the school, and I sneaked in the back door of the counselor’s back door of the counselor’s office so no one would see me office so no one would see me going in there.”going in there.”

When to start?When to start?

““When should students start When should students start going to IEPs? Like I told you, going to IEPs? Like I told you, third grade. If its not too late. third grade. If its not too late. Maybe sooner. Maybe second Maybe sooner. Maybe second grade for some students.”grade for some students.”

Do OverDo Over

““If I had it to do over again, I If I had it to do over again, I would have gone to my IEP would have gone to my IEP meetings in the third grade.”meetings in the third grade.”

Start smallStart small

““Students shouldn’t go to a Students shouldn’t go to a whole meeting all at once! whole meeting all at once! Start off in elementary Start off in elementary school, with just finding out school, with just finding out who is there and what the who is there and what the meeting is for. Just stay for meeting is for. Just stay for that part.”that part.”

What about a dream?What about a dream?

““I dream a lot about just I dream a lot about just getting done with school.”getting done with school.”

Do you have a vision?Do you have a vision?

““Oh, I don’t know about a Oh, I don’t know about a vision. My Mom wants me to vision. My Mom wants me to get on with the check, you get on with the check, you know, that SSI one. Then I know, that SSI one. Then I don’t have to worry about the don’t have to worry about the future.”future.”

Best adviceBest advice

“ “My best advice for becoming a My best advice for becoming a self-advocate? It is so hard to talk self-advocate? It is so hard to talk about your disability. I still get about your disability. I still get embarrassed. But you get a little embarrassed. But you get a little more used to it. Friends are the more used to it. Friends are the hardest. If you can tell your hardest. If you can tell your friends, you can tell anybody.”friends, you can tell anybody.”

Get over itGet over it

“ “Just get over it and do it. My Just get over it and do it. My special ed. teacher made me talk special ed. teacher made me talk to all my other teachers last year. I to all my other teachers last year. I thought I would die. But this year I thought I would die. But this year I just did it and got it over with. And just did it and got it over with. And it was a little easier this time.”it was a little easier this time.”

““Worth It”Worth It”

“ “If I can help someone else out to If I can help someone else out to understand more about my understand more about my disability, and others, then its worth disability, and others, then its worth it. But I didn’t always think that it. But I didn’t always think that way. It’s a lot harder to think that way. It’s a lot harder to think that everyone owes you. They don’t.”everyone owes you. They don’t.”

You owe yourselfYou owe yourself

“ “You owe it to yourself to speak You owe it to yourself to speak up. It’s not easy to do that. Did up. It’s not easy to do that. Did anyone tell you having a disability anyone tell you having a disability is easy? Tell me who, and I will is easy? Tell me who, and I will tell them it is not easy.”tell them it is not easy.”