it's all about me! a soul surfer's guide to happiness through the mastery of self
DESCRIPTION
Tim McAuley is a spiritual seeker who has been working as a bartender and writing about his observations of the world around him for many years.In his debut book, It’s All About Me, Tim takes us on his journey of coming to terms with difficult life circumstances, a life-or-death decision to get sober, and learning to ride the waves - not only the ocean surf, but the moment to moment exhilaration found in living life to the fullest. By sharing the tools and techniques he discovered to find his way, Tim vividly illustrates that we each have the power within to become free of the perceptions that hold us back from living a keenly present and aligned life, one in harmony with the happiness and love we are meant to know. Drawing from his study of the human psyche and spiritual teachings, Tim delivers an entertaining way of looking at his experiences and the world around him as a mirror to his soul. Tim believes that he is responsible for his own happiness in this life, and that in order to improve anything in the outside world, he must first better himself. These writings are a testament to the power of self-reflection and acceptance, as well as an example of how you, too, can improve your own happiness by looking within and realizing that, It’s All About Me.TRANSCRIPT
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Special Note From Tim McAuley regarding thecontent of this document: You have my permissionto distribute this document freely to anyone andeveryone you like as long as it is left completelyintact, unchanged and delivered via this exact PDFfile with the title page intact.
Under no circumstances will you be permitted to re-print, or use this content in any way, shape or form without the sole permission of Tim McAuley /HopeLincoln Unlimited. If you would like to inquire aboutthe rights to use this content please
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information. Adherence to all applicable laws andregulations, federal, state, and local, governingprofessional licensing, business practices,advertising, and all other aspects of doing businessin the United States or any other jurisdiction is thesole responsibility of the Reader.
The Author and Publisher assume no responsibilityor liability whatsoever on the behalf of any Purchaseror Reader of these materials. Any perceived slightsof specific people or organizations are unintentional. Thanks in advance for your cooperation.
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It‘s All About Me!
A Soul Surfer's Guide to Happiness
Through the Mastery of Self
Tim McAuley
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Copyright ©2011 by Tim McAuleyAll rights reserved.
Published by:Hope Lincoln UnlimitedP.O. Box 117Buffalo, Ohio 43722
Email: [email protected]: http://isitallaboutme.com
Publishers Cataloging in Publication Data
McAuley, Tim 1976-It’s All About ME! A Soul Surfer's Guide to HappinessThrough the Mastery of Self (second edition)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011907514ISBN-100983536503
ISBN-139780983536505
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In Loving Memory
Adam Scott Deegan, September 8, 2000- January 4,
2011. Making you proud of me has been my mission since
the day you were born. Uncle Timmy wishes you were still
here to see this book. I will be with you soon. Until then,
in your honor, I will throw my deuces up.
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Dedications
To Dee Dee, without your trust, faith, and
dedication, I wouldn‘t be me, and therefore this book
wouldn‘t be here. Thank you so much for everything. Our
countless hours on the phone have produced some
amazing results; I did my best to transpose what we‘ve
learned together in this book.
To Jennifer, you have said it over and over again,
from the beginning of our relationship, ―Write a book‖.
Thanks for your persistence and patience. I pray that you
enjoy this.
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Special Thanks
First, I would like to thank my mom for her
unconditional love and my dad for all the inspiring lessons
that taught me how to be a good man. Without the work
ethic you‘ve instilled in me, this book wouldn‘t have
gotten here. I love you both so very much.
To ―my sissy,‖ Melissa Deegan, you have always
been my hero. Your strength and spirit inspire me every
day. I am forever in awe of you. You are one of the most
amazing women I‘ve ever known. It is such an honor to
have you as a sister.
To Jeff, I want to thank you for being the man thatyou are. You are the perfect man for my sister, and a great
father. I am proud to be able to call you family.
Chelsea, Brett, and Danica: I love you guys with all
my heart and think of you each and every day. I hope I
am an uncle you can be proud to call yours.
My entire family, there are way too many of you to
list separately. I love and cherish each one of you for very
different reasons.
Next, I would like to thank Lorie Owens and
Thomas McGough for helping me discover my own
unique gifts and talents. Without you two people I wouldhave never celebrated a birthday past 17. I am forever
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grateful for you both. It took me a little while to hear you,
but my first book is finally here. Thank you.
I would like to thank Jerry Eltringham, Michael
Kuklica, Peter Arnold, Barry ―Buddha‖ Nelson, Dr. Mark,
Dr. Melanie Erceg, Yonnus Becker, Nianna Rose Bray,
Helena Nash, Ana Ligia Lacerda Galvao, and Eric
Schlosser. At different times in my life, my direction was
greatly changed by your presence. I am who I am in large
part because you were there on a particular day.
I would like to thank the people mentioned and
implied throughout the pages of this book, Chris Cram,
Shaun Flowers, Dr. Melanie Erceg, Joel Herzer, and Alford
Harris just to name a few.
To my editors: Tiffany Johnson who asked the
perfect questions that helped form the structure of this
book. Pete Arnold thank you for catching the errors
Tiffany missed in her job as a proof reader. Thanks for
demanding I put the first printing on hold to fix them. I
would have looked very foolish publishing a book with
those mistakes in it. Thank you for proof reading the bookwith me. I left a few mistakes in for the hell of it. Finally,
thank you Jill Sallade Packard for taking the time to go
through the book and clean it up for the second edition.
Thank you to all the people that had a hand in
creating the first cover.
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Thank you, Megan Johnson for your wonderful
cover, logo, greeting cards, and t-shirt designs. Thank you
Aaron Paulley for that wonderful ―Head Shot‖, I love your
work man. Keep snapping off pictures.
The tone of this book wouldn‘t be what it is
without Jeff Eamer and his timely advice to be simple,
write more choppy and punchy, and when I write, to just
be me (a bartender who loves the word douche).
Zedrick Allen Clark, thank you for taking the time
to read the manuscript. Thank you for giving me advice
and connecting me with amazing people. Finally, thank
you for the introduction to this book. I thank you from the
core of my being.
To all of you who were part of my journey. To
mention each of you would fill another book entirely.
My love and gratitude goes to the loving
community at Orchard Hills Baptist Church in Newnan,
GA. To all who were called to action when Adam was
taken from us, my deepest thanks. I have now witnessedfirst-hand the awesome power of fellowship.
A most special thanks to Dr. Stacy Thomas,
Desiree, and Stacey, I am forever grateful you three are
part of my sister‘s life.
Finally, to the source energy, zero point field,collective unconsciousness I feel in every cell and fiber of
being almost every moment of my day; thank you God for
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my journey. Thank you for allowing me to misuse my free
will, for bringing all the people in my life to teach me the
hard lessons, and thank you for the short time you gaveme with my little man Adam Scott Deegan. Finally, thank
you for the love, the joy, and the peace I feel today.
Sincerely,
Me.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1 .................................................................................. 29
I DROPPED IN ........................................................................ 29
Chapter 2.................................................................................. 34
PERSPECTIVE IS SUBJECTIVE ......................................... 34
SEMANTICS OF ME .......................................................... 35
THE QUEST OF FREEDOM BEGINS WITH ME. .......... 37
Chapter 3 .................................................................................. 41
WHY IS IT ALL ABOUT ME? ............................................... 41
SO WHAT‘S THE POINT?................................................. 43
Chapter 4 .................................................................................. 45
WHO DO I THINK I AM? ..................................................... 45
AM I A CONCEPTUAL DELUSION ............................... 49
MY DELUSION ................................................................... 52
Chapter 5 .................................................................................. 55
MEETING A POWER GREATER THAN TIM ................... 55
Chapter 6 .................................................................................. 61
GOD: A SEMANTIC DISCUSSION ..................................... 61
LET THE TRUTH SET YOU FREE ................................... 62
FIND ‗I AM‘ ......................................................................... 63
MOUNTAINS OF SEMANTICS ....................................... 64
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Chapter 7 .................................................................................. 69
THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF IT ..................................... 69
THE SOURCE IS THE SOURCE OF COURSE OF
COURSE ............................................................................... 70
THE DAMNEDEST THINGS ............................................ 72
Chapter 8 .................................................................................. 79
OUR THOUGHTS CREATE THE FUTURE ........................ 79
MUSTARD ........................................................................... 80
BELIEF OR FAITH?? .......................................................... 83
HOW I CREATED MISERY ............................................... 85
Chapter 9 .................................................................................. 93
DISCOVERING THAT MY REAL GURU IS A DOUCHE 93
MY PARADIGM OF MONEY ........................................... 94
MONEY DOES NOT EQUAL WORTH ........................... 96
Chapter 10 ................................................................................ 99
FORMING THE PARADIGM ............................................... 99
THOUGHTS ARE MIXED AND SHAKEN OR STIRRED
............................................................................................. 102
MIND CHATTER .............................................................. 103
YOU ARE A VERY BIG SIX YEAR OLD AT BEST ...... 106
WE HONOR GOD WITH EACH ACT OF
OBSERVATION ................................................................ 107
FREQUENCY ..................................................................... 108
Sample ends HERE.
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REST OF THE CHAPTER NAMES
AND SUBHEADINGS
CHAPTER 10 (continued)
MASLOW‘S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
ANIMAL INSTINCTS
SAFE AND SECURE
A NEED TO BELONG ESTEEM
SELF-ACTUALIZATION NEEDS
DISCOVER THE GAP
WHAT‘S THE PRICE?
Chapter 11
LEARNING TO KNOW THYSELF
BODY TALKS/SCIENCE SCHMIANCE
JUST BREATHE DEEPLY
ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO FREE THE MIND
BODY TELLS
WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?
WHAT‘S NOT SAFE?
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A QUICK RUNDOWN OF MIND BODY CONNECTION
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK
Chapter 12
TAKING CONTROL OF AWARENESS
FAITH HEALING
PARADIGM AND MYTH OF LACK
SPIRITUAL INERTIA
THE IDEA OF SEPARATION NO LONGER SUITS US
AS SO WITHIN, SO WITHOUT
Chapter 13
STEPPING INTO CHAOS
NOT SCIENTIFIC PROOF - JUST A METAPHOR
BUTTERFLIES REALIGN ME
ALL WE SEE FLOWS FREELY
Chapter 14
CONDITIONS DON’T HAVE TO CHANGE ME
AHHHHH, SO THIS IS FREEDOM…
METAPHORICALLY SEEKING
Chapter 15
LOOKING PAST THE DELUSION
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YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE; IT IS WHAT IT IS.
TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
Chapter 16
BE THE CHANGE
HOW TO BE THE CHANGE
RESIST AND PERSIST
WHO ARE WE TO SAY GOOD AND BAD?
IT‘S BETTER TO BECOME UNRAVELED
Chapter 17
CENTEREDNESS
MISUSE OF FAITH
MY MISUNDERSTANDING OF WHO I AM.
WHERE IS YOUR FAITH
THE LESSONS OF DYSFUNCTION: PRICELESS
Chapter 18
I AM THAT I AM
I AM
ONENESS OF BEING
SURRENDER
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Chapter 19
F*@K JACK JOHNSON
F*@K JACK JOHNSON IN BRAZIL
LETTING GO
DETACHMENT AIN‘T EASY
Chapter 20
COMPLETE FREEDOM
NO COUNTRY
WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?
Chapter 21
LOOKING INTO THE REFLECTION
LEARNING TO LOVE YOUR ENEMY
IT‘S STILL ALL ABOUT ME
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
TRIGGERS OF LOVE
Chapter 22
YOUR POWER IS HERE AND NOW
METAPHORICAL TECHNOLOGY
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Chapter 23
CLEARING THE PAST
REALLY LETTING GO OF THE PAST
Chapter 24
PULL IT TOGETHER
OUR REACTIONS
LET IT FLOW Error! Bookmark not defined.
THOUGHTS OR PRAYERS
UNANSWERED PRAYERS
Chapter 25
ON MY KNEES
SOUL MATES
MATCHING UP
THE ART OF BEING
BE LOVE
DYSFUNCTIONAL SOUL MATES
WHERE DO I GO WRONG
BOUNDARIES
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Chapter 26
THE SOURCE OF LOVE AND MONEY
IS IT CONDITIONAL?
THE PATH OF SUFFERING
Chapter 27
FOR THE LOVE OF YOURSELF
THE ILLUSION OF PAIN
MINE! MINE! MINE!
AS SO WITHOUT, SO WITHIN
Chapter 28
BREAKING FREE
WANTING TO HIT EM IN THE NECK
Chapter 29
HOW DID I GET HERE TODAY?
REMEMBERING THE SOURCE
BELIEF AT THE CORE OF BEING
I CAUSE MY OWN SUFFERING
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Chapter 30
WHY WAIT UNTIL THEN?
CREATE A NEW PARADIGM
CO-CREATING 2010
MY DAILY REMINDER
Chapter 31
GOING PAST THE SELF
THE ATTAINMENT OF DESIRE
EMOTIONALLY FREE
DON‘T GET IT TWISTED
Chapter 32
HARMONY
LIST OF DESIRES
ENVISION THE FUTURE
Chapter 33
THE PERFECT DAY SCENARIO
GET MORE INTO IT
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Chapter 34
DREAM BOARDS
IT TAKES MORE THAN WISHING
FRAME BY FRAME
KEY WORDS
MY OWN KEY WORDS
EXPECT HAPPINESS
A FEW TIMES A DAY
Chapter 35
DON’T GIVE UP WHEN YOU’RE ALMOST THERE
9 Things to Remember
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Introduction to a Soul Surfer’s
How to Guide
It is with great honor and gratitude I introduce toyou Tim McAuley and his book, ―It‘s All About ME‖.
As a book that could easily change any life for thebetter, It’s All About ME, came into my life after years ofsearching for answers. Immediately I was deeplyencouraged and inspired to be the best person I couldbe. My heart and spirit stirred as its words and messageschallenged and entertained me. Being both simple andprofound, the spiritual wisdom coming through this bookis delivered in the true fashion of a bartender--straight, nochaser.
I began my teenage years yearning for a deeperconnection to a higher power and an inner peace that Iknew was possible to obtain. As a seeker of truth andwisdom, I was continually looking for answers from otherpeople and places. At first, I looked to my family, Godand the Bible for answers, as well as the natural worldaround me. Then I looked to my peers, school teachers,
and writers (mostly of music). Then after realizing theremust be more, I began to study poets, philosophers, andother seekers, such as St. Thomas Aquinas, Alan Watts,Carlos Castaneda and the Dalai Lama, among manyothers. After countless books, lectures, conversations,classes, and experiences, I decided the best I could hopefor was an occasional glimpse into peace andenlightenment.
At some point, probably around the time I realizedI wanted to ―grow up‖ and be a responsible adult, I left the
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spiritual seeking to others and began to study seekers offinancial success. This led me to Brian Tracy, Steven
Covey, John Maxwell, Dale Carnegie, and other business,success, and self-help writers and speakers; as well as―successful‖ business owners and role models.
Then, in my late twenties, I began havingexperiences that I can only explain as divine guidance. Istarted to connect the dots of my life and began tounderstand its inner workings more and more clearly. As
a result, the one goal I had in life--owning a successfulbusiness that could impact and empower people in apositive way--was accomplished years earlier than I hadpredicted. I even ended up losing this business in a fire.Instead of getting discouraged and giving up, I was able tosee this loss as a wonderful opportunity to start new andhave something even better than I had before—and that isexactly what happened. But even after that, I felt a bit
unsettled. I knew there was more and I felt stagnant.
This acceptance that there had to be more openedme up and allowed me to be drawn to a short personalmeditation retreat which got the candle burning inside meagain. Little by little, I began to feel God‘s presence in myeveryday life and peace came to me more often. Rightwhen I needed them, books and people would come intomy life, saying the exact thing I needed to hear to guide meeven further. Opportunities presented themselves to meand I truly could say, ―I LOVE LIFE!‖ again.
This was also the time when Tim McAuley and Ireconnected after having not seen each other in over 15years. Tim and I grew up just a few miles from each otherand attended the same school; and even though weweren‘t in the same circles and I didn‘t know himpersonally that well, at that time, I knew he was special.
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When we reconnected, I knew right away we
needed to spend more time with each other. As we talkedthat day, and the many days and nights after, I realized hehad an astonishingly deep understanding of things I hadonly skimmed. His understanding of life, spirituality,love, and individual potential and how to use it, left meawestruck! Even more refreshing was his ability tocommunicate in a clear concise way with minimal floweryBS and ego driven vocabulary.
Tim‘s story telling ability and his no nonsenseapproach makes his entire life into one never-endingparable. He truly is a master of self and is a gift to those heconnects with. As it did for me, It’s All About ME can be anopportunity for anyone to connect with Tim and histeachings in a deep and meaningful way.
Whether you follow the modern day spiritualseekers, religious leaders, or ancient philosophers, you willfind this book to not only be a magnifying glass that willbring these ideas into clearer focus, but possibly offer afresh take on being able to clarify your own loving self andyour connection with a higher power. Truly empowering,this book allows you to see the concepts that the greatmasters have communicated for centuries, in a modernway, with modern words, by a truly timeless, yet modernvoice.
When Tim first asked me to read his book, I did notknow what to expect. I went into it with an open mindhoping to help a friend move his dream further ahead, andmaybe learn more about him in the process. I, of course,got all that. However, I got a whole lot more.
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The book you have in front of you is more than youcould ever glean from a simple title, or my introduction. It
will be something different for each who reads it; but ifyou read it with an open heart and peaceful mind, it willbring you to some personal truths, and guide you tobecome a seeker of a higher purpose and a better you. Itwill also show you that you are not alone in your quest--others out there are just like you.
This book is also for beginners and experienced
alike. You may be inspired to write your own book, oryou may find a new concept that ties together a betterunderstanding of how the world around you works. Youmay find how to make your life, business, and /orrelationship better.
I personally laughed out loud, cried, told friendsstories, and created new ways to describe what I thought
was indescribable in the process of my first reading. I willread this book again. If many of the concepts are new toyou, I suggest you enjoy it in small bites allowing yoursoul to truly savor it. Then, do it all over again!
In the end, you may not have all your questionsanswered, but this book will lead you to the answers thatlie within. You can do what Tim has done for himself ifyou take responsibility and recognize... ―It‘s all aboutYOU.‖
Peaceful Journeys,
Zedrick Clark CNHPNature‘s Food Market of Berlin, President and Proprietor
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SELECTED QUOTES FROM: Interview: Dr. Timothy Leary "The
Evolutionary Surfer" Article Originally Published in SURFER, January
1978
―One of the best ways of describing what we're doing . . . is
to define our roles as "evolutionary surfers." Everything is
made of waves. At the level of electrons and neutrons ...
it's part of a wave theory. Historical waves -- cultural
waves. The more you think about the evolutionary
process, the more you see the fundamental structure ofnature itself. It's the quantum theory . . . dealing with
quantum leaps and quantum waves . . . things come
packaged in sequential, cyclical, moving, ever-changing
forms.‖
―There's a purity about surfing. There's a great sense of
timing. Of course, if you study how evolution works and
how the DNA code builds bodies and builds species,
timing is of absolute importance. Being in the right place at
the right time -- It happens that whatever you do, you can't
create a wave, you know; it comes and there's a time to
move and a time to lay back. It's almost Taoist poetry.
Almost Einsteinian.‖
―It's just the individual dealing with the power of the
ocean, which gets into the power of lunar pulls, and of
tidal ebbs and flows; and it's no accident that many,
perhaps most, surfers have become almost mystics, or ... I
hate to use the word, spiritual. I prefer the word
neurological excursion. But they've somehow been able toget in touch with the infinity, and into the turbulence of
the power of their own brain, and then they begin‖
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A WORD OF CAUTIONFirst off let me say that I am no doctor. I hold no
coaching certificate or a license to be a counselor. I am a
bartender who reads and researches self-development.
I have shared my findings with a few people and
the things I‘ve done for myself have worked for them aswell. Those people have encouraged me to write a book.
The exchange of conscious and unconscious
thought is very tricky. But it can be mastered.
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Chapter 1
I DROPPED INOne day, I somehow managed to become conscious
of the gap between my thoughts. At that moment I
experienced the vibration of pure bliss, a profound senseof personal satisfaction, happiness and joy. I realized the
meaning of eternity. I felt as if time was an illusion, and
for a moment, I existed in a timeless state.
It was September 2005, a few hundred meters off
the sand just south of San Clemente, California. For over a
year I had been struggling, trying to learn to surf. Isearched several months to find a board I could stand on
consistently.
The first board I bought wasn‘t at all a beginner
board. The guy at Killer Dana Surf Shop told me it was a
crappy board, and not to even take it in the water if I
didn‘t know how to surf. ―Get yourself a long board,‖ hesaid. So I did.
My second board was a 10-foot cigar shaped board
with absolutely no balancing point. My third, a 7‘4‖
Stewart Fun Board; it didn‘t help my cause any.
Eventually I quit and tried my hand at online poker.
Seven or eight months later, a friend shaped a board justfor me.
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By the time the September swell season of 2005
rolled in I had been consistently dropping in on waves.Thanks to my surf partner, a human jukebox of a musician
from Dana Point, California named Chris Cram; I was
surfing every day, sometimes twice. He had talked me
into going with him to replace my morning meetings.
Cram and I had been surfing together for my entire
albeit short surfing ―career.‖ I had decided I wouldn‘t
return to the rooms of Alcoholic Anonymous, and Cram
decided that without support, I would never make it as a
sober man.
Looking back, I‘m pretty sure he was right. I am so
very grateful that he had reached out to me. It was Cram
who explained the concept of a power greater than me,
and it was shortly after a conversation with him, some 14
months later, that I first realized the ever-present state of
bliss and the meaning of eternity.
Cram and I had been paddling out every day for
nearly 6 months when I decided I would quit trying tosurf. I spent most of my time the next eight months
playing online poker. One morning the bartender at my
breakfast spot in Dana Point suggested I give surfing
another try. His argument consisted of the 30 extra
pounds and the lack of skin pigment I had developed in
my eight months in front of a computer screen all day and
tending bar in Laguna Beach at night.
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The bartender and I decided on a deal. He then
loaned me one of his surfboards while he shaped and
tinted my 9 foot blue bomber. To this day, out of all myboard choices, I love riding that board most. It will always
hold a special place in my heart. Many times, shortly after
catching the ―wave of the day‖, I bow my head and
silently thank that master of the Bloody Mary for
demanding I give him $400.
After the arrival of my new long board Cram and I
spent every morning bobbing side by side in the Pacific
Ocean discussing sobriety, the nature of my higher power,
and anything else we could think of in between sets of
waves.
One morning in mid-September 2005, Cram gave
me a sermon enlightening me to just what made it possible
for the two of us to sit in the ocean and walk on water. He
started by explaining the layout of the ocean floor and the
shelf that sits a few hundred meters off the shoreline of
any body of land.
He then explained to me that three days or so priorto that very moment we floated in our neoprene suits, a
storm brewed just off the coast of New Zealand. Finally,
after traveling thousands of nautical miles, the energy of
that storm pulsed to the shelf that starts the Southern
California coastline. The result of which happened to be
waves much larger than anything I had previously
attempted to ride with any level of success.
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A set rolled in just as Cram finished his explanation
of wave conditions and south-facing beaches. He paddled
into the second wave. I followed on the wave just behindhim; my mind still numb from contemplating my
oceanography lesson of the day. Before I even dropped
into the wave that seemed to dwarf my 5‘11‖ frame, time
stood still.
As the wave took over the propulsion of my board,
I popped up with grace that I had as of yet shown, and my
feet found the sweetest spots on the board. All that I could
hear was the sound of the ocean and the wind from the
tunnel of water curling just behind me. Nothing else
seemed to exist.
As my nine-foot Shaun Flowers Custom board
carried my body down the face of the wave, I felt no
separation between my feet and the blue tinted fiberglass
covered piece of carved foam. I felt no separation of the
board from the wave, nor did I recognize a separation of
the wave‘s energy from the storm in New Zealand three
days previously that lifted the water underneath my feet
and what seemed like four feet over my head.
As I ran my hand across the wall of water in front
of me, I felt pure bliss and ecstasy. I felt no separation
between me and anything else in this universe. I felt one
with God; even though less than ten seconds before I held
no belief whatsoever in the existence of God.
I rode that wave eternally, for about 20 seconds or
so. It was by far the longest ride of my life, on the biggest
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wave I had ever seen. I kicked out, landed on the waxy
surface of the board, and paddled back to the spot where
Cram sat screaming, hooting, and flapping his armswildly. It took me a few seconds to tune into his words.
―That‘s it right there duuudeee!! That‘s GOD!
That‘s what I‘m talkin about. You found it brother. Now
try to remember all that philosophy, religious Carl Jung
shit you been talkin and you might just realize what the
hell you‘ve been trying to say….. yeahh brother!‖ Cram‘s
mantic rant about surf stokes and God went on for 10
minutes or so in a manner that you could only understand
if you‘d spent time with the man who once threw a series
of darts into my chest as I slept on his living room floor.
For the larger part of two hours, Cram and I
danced around in eternity, paddling into and trough walls
of wave energy brought to us from around the globe.
I realized that day that the fundamental differences
in schools of philosophy, religions of the world, and
scientific theories, were nothing more than semantics. I
don‘t deny the fundamental differences. I believe it naiveto say all religions are saying the same thing. They‘re not.
But, I do believe they are attempting the best they can to
lead their followers to the same destination. The
destination I discovered and experienced on a wave in
mid-September 2005 just off the coast of San Onofre,
California.
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Chapter 2
PERSPECTIVE IS SUBJECTIVE
Even today, I have to remind myself that
everything that man claims to know is highly subjective.
It‘s a lot like the view of the room you find yourself infrom the position you sit reading this book. Look around.
What do you see? Check out that space. Now, stand up.
Maybe on the same furniture your body rests now. That
room will look much different to you and will look even
more different if you lie underneath whatever piece of
furniture your body can fit snugly into. That‘s what life‘s
all about - perspective.
It seems human consciousness is on a journey
towards self-realization as it flows through space and time
through localized perspectives (you and me). Currently
consciousness is rejecting the essence of its own being. It‘s
as if we are looking into the world with tunnel vision. We
never come close to the light at the tunnel‘s end. Yet, insome way, we each understand the essence of being, even
before we ever experience it. I was lucky enough in this
lifetime to find it, without the aid of a chemical substance,
a sexual encounter, or another material form other than a
surfboard, wave energy, and cool salty water.
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SEMANTICS OF ME
The beauty of the nature of being is perpetually lostto me in the semantic ramblings of my conscious mind.
My mind is, at best, minimally aware of what is happening
around me on a moment-by-moment basis. Something is
always churning in my head. I run little scenarios of
futures that may never be, practice conversations that I‘ll
never have, and replay different versions of events from
the memory of the years that have come to pass.
I know I am not alone here. I have been behind a
bar listening to stories for over 13 years now, and I
recognize that a little voice chatters in everyone‘s mind to
some degree or another. Better yet, I realize that the little
voice of my mind serves very little purpose other than
clouding my experience of the present moment.
The words, images, and feelings of the mind
chatter produce a delusional sense of self. I take little care
in choosing which one of the millions of random thoughts
to follow on a moment by moment basis. I seem to have
been reacting as if I didn‘t possess free will most of my life.I have spent much of my life on autopilot; a puppet to
circumstances in a play called Earth.
In the years since my first drop into the eternal
wave of life, I have struggled greatly maintaining my
connection to the blissful cosmic conscious state of mind. I
gain it quickly by surfing. Yoga helps, as does meditationand prayer. But I notice that my mind is misaligned and
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my observations are misappropriated far too many
moments in my life.
Again, I know I am not alone here. It is the
condition of nearly every human being with whom I have
come into contact. From my first home in Appalachia,
Ohio, to the nightclubs and restaurants from Laguna
Beach, to downtown Los Angeles, to a beachfront
apartment facing south on the coast of central Brazil and
finally back to the place I started, I notice that we all make
poor use of our observational awareness and our
conceptualizing minds.
It seems that we are all trapped in a conditional
state-of-being. My main source of suffering is a
combination of the misuse of my observations and a
dysfunctional paradigm locked deep in my unconscious. I
can‘t deny it any longer. The fact is, since about the age of
six, I have created much suffering in my world both
internally and externally.
I read this quote the other day; ―You create just as
much suffering when you take offense as when you giveit.‖ I have certainly done both for far too often. When I
consider that we are all wired similarly, I can see why it is
so much suffering exists in this world. We focus much of
our thoughts on shadows as we ignore the light. Basically,
we are all a bunch of big six year old kids.
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THE QUEST OF FREEDOM BEGINS WITH ME.
It appears to me that human consciousness is onthe quest for eternal freedom. At least mine is. Freedom is
the real motivation of our lofty goals in life. Yet, most of
us remain oblivious to the idea of cultivating inner-
freedom. We may press the like button on the Dali Llama
quotes that pop up on Facebook, but few of us really
search ourselves for inner-freedom.
We all have these pressing matters like how to pay
the mortgage, that thing that one person said to us the
other day, and what ―Steve Jobs‖ thinks we should buy
next. The pressing matters we deal with on a moment-by-
moment basis never really seem to translate into our
minds as a part the quest for eternal freedom. But they
are.
The stuff we take interest in, how we spend our
time, and even how we trade our time for money, each
offer us a path towards enlightenment and eternal
freedom. Instead, we have all bought into the delusion of
the material world, and we cause ourselves great sufferingand pain because we hate our jobs, we have very little
time, and we don‘t have enough cool stuff.
Yeah I said it. You are delusional. I‘m serious.
Take today for instance. You woke up and immediately
began to conceptualize the idea of who you are. You
began to list the things you have to do, and most likelyconsidered what tomorrow will bring. I did it too. I woke
up, stretched my arms and before I finished taking in my
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first deep breath, I held an image of the bar meeting I have
scheduled later today. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I am a
bartender.
Before I exhaled my first breath the thoughts of
who I am just rambled on in my mind. I thought about
taking some money to my yoga teacher for this month‘s
membership. I forgot to take it last night, because I got
called into work. I love female yoga teachers!! What can I
say, I am a man.
Next, I reached over and checked my phone. I read
a text message offering a critique of this manuscript, which
led me to this very sentence. I am a writer.
The list goes on and on, and quite frankly, it‘s all
crap. It‘s all a delusion. I can wake up tomorrow and
decide I am none of that and see what happens. But I
already know what will happen. My mind just told me
with the sudden pang of fear that produced the words:
―How are we going to pay rent if you don‘t tend bar,
stupid?‖
This is the plight of my consciousness, and most
likely yours as well. Maybe not the tending bar part, but
change the wording up a little and you‘ll get the point.
We are all trapped in a delusional sense of self from
which we create and perpetuate our own suffering. We
participate moment-by-moment in a world where eachinteraction offers both a chance for enslavement and
freedom. Rest assured folks, there is still hope. Self-
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realization can be cultivated by each of us. Our delusions,
and the emotions thus derived, can be used more
effectively and freedom is the eventual result. In eachmoment a message can be found that will lead each person
to a sense of eternal bliss. We just have to search
differently and see things from a new perspective.
The continual misuse of our own awareness seems
to be the source from which all human suffering stems. It
makes perfect sense that on days when my mind is
continually preoccupied with crap, life stinks. It is due to
the fact that I am attached to conditions in the manifest
world that produce the emotional states of my being. I
know from years of tending bar, hanging out and
watching TV, most of us fall prey to this condition.
We continually look outside of ourselves to be
fulfilled, happy and complete. Look, if I can‘t be happy
and blissful alone, then nothing outside of me is going to
change that; not even some adorable little yoga teacher.
Sure, the thought of her makes parts of me happy, but I
can't experience true happiness as long as I believe
happiness is coming from anything in manifest form; theworld of form we currently experience.
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Chapter 3
WHY IS IT ALL ABOUT ME?
Happiness is an inside job. We are meant to
cultivate immense happiness, and then share it with the
world. Instead, we mostly demand the world to provide
the feeling for us. Happiness is a state of being and avibration of harmony that is ever-present. It is a choice.
Sometimes the choice isn‘t always so clear, but it is a
choice none-the-less. We have all missed the boat on this
one. Most of us are under the delusion that the outside
conditions of the world must change in order for us to feel
content or happy.
Take romantic relationships for instance. Ideally,
two souls come together in perfect union and become one.
The two that are now one travel through space and time
sharing stories, laughter and love. They support one
another and grow together spiritually as each body ages
and their life force dims and fades away. But, that‘s not
really what I see going on here. I look around and see
romantic partnerships that resemble a roller coaster. Come
to think about it; love is more of a game of tug of war.
Very little freedom in the way love flows exists in
most relationships today. Love is often times conditional.
We somehow have come to expect our partners to always
behave in a manner that makes us feel loved. I have
witnessed some of the silliest fights in grocery stores
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between people ―in love.‖ Heck, I‘ve had some of the
silliest fights in grocery stores with more than one woman
I have loved.
Somewhere along the line, I became attachment to
the idea that happiness comes from relationships. This has
been one source of emotional and mental suffering for me
nearly all my life. Relationships are confusing. Plutonic
relationships are difficult enough sometimes, while
romantic ones confuse the hell out of me. For the longest
time I thought it was because women are crazy, emotional,
and illogical. I blamed estrogen for causing a chemical
imbalance that made women insane. I even theorized that
I am only attracted to crazy women. It took a while for me
to realize that I was actually walking around with my head
up my butt. (More on that later).
I came to realize that the dynamics of my
relationships had nothing to do with estrogen or unstable
feminine emotions. Those were just icing on the cake. The
real issue is the image I hold of myself in my mind‘s eye.
My inner image always reflects back to me in my dealings
with this world. My blueprint of self-worth always seemsto pop up somewhere in my experiences. Romantic
relationships just seem to hit home hardest. I have been at
my most vulnerable when I want the love and attention of
a particular woman. I have been at my worst as well.
All of my relationships, romantic or otherwise, tell
me a little more about the delusions I hold of who I am. Sodo yours. When I pay close enough attention, I see that all
that manifests into my world of experience are metaphors
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guiding me towards freedom. We can each cultivate
freedom while still participating in society, if we learn to
see reality as a metaphor.
So here‘s some good news. You don‘t have to
shave your head and move to a mountain just yet. Matter
of fact, you may find it more beneficial to keep
participating in society. When you come to realize that
each person and event in your life is a metaphor of
yourself, you will then realize that the guy you want to
punch in the face is in fact your greatest teacher.
No worries, you can still punch him in the face if
the energy of the moment demands. It may just be the
lesson that his soul wants from you! But, when you find
that you‘re really only punching yourself, you may be able
to turn the other cheek and offer your brother a hug. You
may be able to walk along side of your enemy for a few
extra miles. Ok now, repeat after me, ―It‘s All About Me!‖
SO WHAT’S THE POINT?
What is really the point of me writing this book?
What is it that I hope to accomplish by making these
words available to you? I believe full-heartedly that the
suffering we observe and experience is all the creation of
the conscious mind. I believe that each and every one of
us creates an internal state of being that co-creates all of
what manifests into the world for us to experience. I look
out into this world and see how much needless suffering
and struggle is created. I have been personally responsible
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for far too much suffering in this world in my short time
on this planet. For that I am truly apologetic. I want
suffering to end, not just for me, but for you and everyoneyou know as well.
Please believe me when I say, I have an intimate
understanding of the feeling of discontentment, sorrow,
and fear. I am no stranger to suicidal thoughts. A good
portion of my life, I spent stoned or drunk from the time I
woke until I passed out. I started getting high around the
age of 14 or so. By my 16th year of life I needed some
chemical help just to be able to get out of bed in the
morning. My delusion of who I was hurt so badly that in
order to stay alive I chose to be numb. Even writing this
now, I am overcome with an emotion I hope none of you
discover in yourselves. If you have, I hope these words
help trigger a sense of connection and wellbeing.
Through my 11 years as a bartender, I have come to
observe that in some way, most of us hurt. I see it
everywhere I go. We are all delusional. We believe that
life is a struggle.
My purpose in writing this book is to offer an
explanation of the struggle and what it is I have done, and
continue to do, to overcome it. I am not saying by any
means I am perfect. But, I can tell you that the state of my
being today is mostly peaceful, and loving, a far cry from
the state of my being about seven years ago.
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Chapter 4
WHO DO I THINK I AM?
All of my life I have been a gung-ho kind of guy. I
leap before I think. I am very reactive and very passionate
about life. Some say it is the Aries in me. I am not really
sure about all of that, but I do know that in my history Ihave been known to react with forcefulness and an
intensity that is very offsetting and somewhat frightening
when I am triggered into an insecure state of being.
All of my life I have felt that certain conditions had
to be met by people and the world around me in order for
me to feel safe, comfortable, and accepted. Most of my lifeI looked out into the world and blamed events, my
parents, world governments, secret societies, women, men,
and God Almighty for the crappy conditions of my life.
By the age of 28 I nearly drank and drugged myself
to death. I had to make the choice of sobriety. Six years
later I started typing these words, doing the best I can to
help guide my friends to the harmonious, peaceful, loving
state of being in which I‘ve found in myself. For the past
six years, I have been triggered into and have perpetuated
just about every emotional state along the path of the
pendulum from complete bliss to utter despair.
I set my goals, created my dream boards, and did
my meditations. I worked diligently to become a better
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man and create a better life, only to have all that I had
worked towards crash down around me during one
singular event in May 2009.
My girlfriend and I got pregnant. She decided it
wasn‘t the right time for us to have a child. She went to
Planned Parenthood and took the pill to end the
pregnancy. On the ride to go pick her up I said to my best
friend Dee Dee, ―none of this makes sense anymore and I
don‘t want any of it‖.
Instantly, all of my good fortune was removed.
Funding for my business fell through, problems at work
came up, and I became suicidal and depressed. My
relationship with my partner suffered because of it. Then,
I finally decided to take action. I quit it all: the job, the
relationship, the life.
I sat by the beach for a week breathing and
contemplating. I knew from having been close to death
twice already that I really didn‘t want to end it just yet. I
stared out into the Pacific Ocean all day long
contemplating the life I had lived. I looked at my storyfrom every angle. I broke myself down to nothing and
asked myself what I wanted to do the rest of my life.
So I could pay my bills, I began stocking beer on
Friday and Saturday nights in a Latin club in downtown
Los Angeles. I spent my free time paddling on a canoe in
the Pacific Ocean. That‘s when all that I had learned cameinto focus for me.
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The hundreds of self-help books I‘ve read and the
different philosophies and religions I have studied began
to become clearer. I started to fully realize my part in all ofthis. I remembered little moments in time when I knew to
take one path and I went the wrong way. I saw the
patterns of my life unfold, and saw exactly what I had
done to get to this point.
Peace settled over me that week and I began to ask
what I could do for the next 33 years. I didn‘t think of
money, fortune, or fame. I thought of what I could do that
came naturally to me. I woke each morning, walked to the
beach, and stopped to have breakfast on the way home. I
asked myself over and over, ―What do we do now? What
are you going to do for the rest of your life?‖
My answer came in a very unusual way. The
woman who owns Benice, a breakfast place in Venice,
California, came to my table to refill my coffee and asked,
―What do you do for a living?
I answered ―I tend bar and stock beer in a club
downtown.‖
She looked at me as if I had two heads and said,
―No silly, you‘re a writer. Get yourself a notebook and
start writing.‖
She and I had never spoken, so I asked her why she
would say that. She explained to me that I sit and observeeverything and everyone in just a certain way that just says
―writer.‖
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So with that, I began to write this book, attempting
to explain the trappings of the mind and how others can
create better conditions in their lives and free themselveswithout quitting it all. My hope is that these words will
help people heal.
Through this process, I have discovered within me
what I can only describe as bliss. I will never consciously
trade this state of being for anything. But, don‘t get it
twisted, I am no monk. I live fully in the material world as
a spiritual being. The only difference is now I know that
nothing outside of me will complete me or add to me.
But that does not stop me from desiring a better
experience. I love to eat amazing food prepared by
amazing chefs. I want to experience world travel, and I
want to wear clothes made for a king. I want all of the best
things in life, but not because of some need to feel better
about myself. I feel amazing just the way I am. I want all
of those things because it just makes sense. Quality things
are fun to experience, and I don‘t really find it shameful to
take action to make it so. As long as what I do is in
harmony to the state of bliss I feel, and I know I am on theright track.
I have taken more than just the steps of stillness to
cultivate my inner sense of wellbeing. I have harmonized
myself with the highest vision of myself. I adjust that
vision to the achievement of each goal. I have toyed with
different philosophies, meditation practices, and nopractice at all, and have noted the results. This book is
from my observations, experiences, as well as countless
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hours spent on the phone with Lydia "Dee Dee"
Garlington.
AM I A CONCEPTUAL DELUSION
I have learned that happiness is a choice. Like I
stated before it‘s an inside job. It is part of having free will.
God, The Universe, Consciousness, or whatever you want
to call it, really has no stake in the matter. I am notsuggesting God is impersonal and has left us all to fend for
ourselves, even though much of my life I felt it to be so.
I am suggesting that a concept is communicated
through the state of my being to the source of all things
manifest and comes into my reality. It works unfailingly,
whether I like it or not. When I hold in my personalparadigm the belief that I won‘t amount to anything,
failure is imminent. I have found it nearly impossible to
strive for anything.
―Set goals? Why would I do that?‖
―Write a book? Who the hell do I think I am?‖
―Start another relationship? Really, we‘re gonna
do that again?‖
Those are the words that come into my head on a
moment to moment basis. Those words are the sound of
my delusion.
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Remember, we‘re all delusional. We will discuss
some pretty deep observations throughout these pages.
Knowing truth and discussing it is often far from living it.
I am not really saying anything new in this book.
Many religious scholars, philosophers, self-help gurus, and
men much smarter than me have been shouting from the
mountaintop for eons. Some guys and gals painted murals
on caves at the dawn of man. But, so long that I can
observe this message has fallen on deaf ears, I will
continue to write and publish books on this topic. I believe
that mankind needs to rediscover the essence and joy of
being. I am certain that we can all experience true
happiness and inner-harmony.
From what I‘ve seen in this world, harmony has
been ignored by the consciousness of mankind, and is
reflected in almost everything we do. Watch the evening
news and see how we lack harmony in our lives.
I am not promising some miracle cure for suffering
once you understand the power of harmony. I am no
doctor, and I am not prescribing anything to you in thefollowing pages. The exercises I describe in this book are
steps I have taken to clear my delusional paradigm from
the depths of my unconscious mind.
I have discovered this path through much trial and
error through six years of self-reflection prior to the start of
this book. I have tested my theories with the help of a fewtrusting individuals, and I have expanded my own
worldview with the help of so many more.
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This thing we are doing called life is a lot simpler
than I‘ve been making it out to be. I have discovered that
some truths that would have saved me years of suffering
along the way. I hope to share them in a way you can
receive.
I can‘t tell you what will work for you. Most likely,
we‘ve never met. Without talking to you and getting a
sense of where you are with all of this, it is impossible for
me to suggest anything. I can only speak for myself. That
being said, I believe that you and I are not all that
different. It stands to reason that you too will benefit from
some of the things I do and have done to cultivate a sense
of harmony and well-being. I know from experience that
situations exist which trigger the feeling of well-being into
something else, and I do my best not to allow that.
I remind myself of the impermanence of life and all
things material, and I know that every situation is a
reflection of me. I take full responsibility for my reality
and choose to appreciate where I find myself today. A
great joy exists underlying each moment. It‘s our mindchatter that creates the jumbled emotions we feel that are
less than joyful.
Remember a time when you, ―fell in love,‖ and
you‘ll know what I mean when I use the word joy. It‘s that
sense that all is right in the world, that life has meaning,
and that you are completely blessed. You can always havethat joyful sense of being. It just takes a little work, and
not really all that much.
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MY DELUSION
My self-image for many years told me I amunworthy of love. I am an ugly human being, and I
should be ashamed of who I am. This is the concept of self
that I have lived with most of my life.
For many years I drank and I drugged my way
through life. I chose to go to college because of the
availability of psychedelic substances. I drugged my way
through three years at Kent State in Ohio. I dropped out
and drank my way to California. I became a bartender
because I liked to drink. My image of me was so
intolerable that I almost drank myself to death. I couldn‘t
stand to be me without a little help. Matter of fact, I
couldn‘t stand you if you liked me.
In 2004 a doctor told me he wasn‘t really sure if I
would make it to August even if I quit drinking. My idea
of me began to change dramatically.
For the first time in my life since I was 16 years old,
I had to look into my mirror and see my face with nothingto soften the blow. The first six months of sobriety were
rocky at best. I had to grow a beard so I could spend less
time in front of the mirror. I couldn‘t stand it. Standing
there shaving made me sick to my stomach and filled me
with rage.
I projected that rage everywhere for most of my lifebefore and after my decision to remain sober. The longer I
had to sit with myself, the more I let go of the rage and
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healed. In some cases I look back and wish I had let go
sooner.
Through the past six years I‘ve been up and I‘ve
been down. One thing is for certain, I have been fully
responsible for it all. I have been romantically involved
with some truly amazing women in my lifetime. Some so
amazing, that I felt so very small and unworthy in their
presence.
To this day, I remember the lessons I have learned
about me through them, and I can see how my own
insecurities forced each of them out of my life. Only by
trial and error have I made it to this point in time.
However, today I am comfortable and free.
I sit here in Ohio, just as I did when I first wrote
this paragraph while sitting on the coast of Brazil, filled
with joy, and gratitude. I am in awe of this thing called
life. I have learned to let go easily of that thing in me that
causes me to suffer. I have learned to be comfortable in
knowing that my perspective is too tiny and too narrow to
understand the vastness of the universe and all that hascome to be. I have learned to feel a power greater than me.
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Chapter 5
MEETING A POWER GREATER
THAN TIM
I still remember sitting on the bench in front of my
favorite bar in Dana Point, California. It was early
morning, August 15, 2004. I smoked a cigarette, sipped
coffee from a pint glass, and waited for my poached eggs,
ham, and wheat toast.
My mind chewed over what Dr. Mark had told me
during my visit in January. I had gone to visit him the
second week of the year because I thought I was having a
nervous breakdown. I found it difficult to sleep. I was
nervous and on edge. I thought I was going to worry
myself to death. I felt hopeless and angry each day I
opened my eyes and realized I had not died in my sleep.
After about five days of not sleeping, I walked intodoctor‘s office crying and begging for help. I didn‘t know
what else to do.
Dr. Mark had known me for some time, and after a
lengthy conversation, he told me that he would help me
only if I quit drinking and using drugs while we worked
together. I agreed. He contacted Joel, the owner of therestaurant I worked and vouched for me. Joel and Alford
allowed me to keep my insurance, and held my position
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for me while I got myself together. I can‘t begin to explain
how grateful I am for those two in my life.
A few weeks later, after some blood testing, I found
myself being scolded by the Doc for still showing alcohol
in my system. He was pissed that he went to bat for me
and I would lie to him. But, it had been 18 days since my
last drink, so I protested the results.
Two weeks and three tests later Dr. Mark and his
wife explained to me they had been searching for tickets to
send me to Ohio to spend time with my family.
Since the test results were showing improvement
no flight would be necessary. The words of Dr. Mark
played over and over in my head as I waited for my bowl
of eggs, and side of ham, and buttered wheat toast.
―If your count didn‘t go down after this long Tim,
it most likely wasn‘t going to. I‘d say about three months
before your liver started to fail completely and you‘d
probably be dead by mid-August if you hadn‘t quit the
pills and booze exactly when you did. You will recoverfrom this, but you may want to look at your lifestyle.‖
As I put out my cigarette and returned to my
barstool, Cram walked over to me and mentioned he
hadn‘t seen me at any meetings in a while.
It had been a few weeks. I gave my rant about AAmeetings, religions, and cults, much to the chagrin of
Cram.
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He just said, ―Right on brother, let‘s go surfing
tomorrow!‖
I don‘t know why I agreed so easily. I had been
mostly unsuccessful at surfing previously. But, for
whatever reason I let Cram talk me into it.
The next morning I met Cram for breakfast at
Hennessey‘s and we loaded my 7‘4‖ Stewart Fun
Board into his van and bounced on down to Trestles in San
Clemente.
On the way, we talked a little philosophy. Cram
suggested I think more about the concept of a power
greater than myself right now, and forget about all that
God stuff I have floating in my head. He bluntly said,
―You‘re too angry at religion for God to help you man.
Just get a power greater than yourself and you‘ll be fine.‖
I didn‘t quite understand why Cram laughed
wildly as we started to paddle out. He was floating with a
group of guys and still laughing as my struggle to get
through the mound of whitewash and foam ended.
When I finally made it over to the group Cram
exclaimed, ―I can‘t believe you made it out past the
breaker zone. You‘re a wild man. Well, I guess you‘re
going to learn to surf today Ohio!‖
After explaining to me that it was an unusuallylarge swell for that particular time of the year, and the fact
that I even got out there took a little know-how, he and the
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rest of the bobbing heads at Trestles decided to give me a
crash course in surfing.
They each took turns explaining just what to do in
order to not get killed when attempting to drop in on those
waves. Then they each took turns demonstrating. As
Cram followed the procession of surfers off the point at
Trestles he said to me, ―Take the next wave, so I can be in
position just in case something goes wrong.‖
I guess I really should have taken that as a cue not
to take the next wave. But I didn‘t.
I paddled myself into position at the peak of the
wave, trying my best to point the nose of the board at an
angle. I popped up just like I was instructed. I remember
thinking something about how much steeper this wave
was than the wave I used to attempt to surf just a mile or
two down the coast nicknamed San O.
I think I was still contemplating that angle and
power of the wave as my face planted into the bottom of it.
I can‘t really recall what I was thinking when that ton ofwater landed on my body and pushed me down beneath
the murky, salty surface of the breaker zone at Lower
Trestles, in San Clemente, California.
I rolled around frantically under the power of that
wave, trying, with all that I had, to not allow my body to
gasp for the air it craved.
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I got my head to the surface just in time to take a
much needed deep breath, just in time to be met by
another wave. I looked up as a wall of foam crashed onmy face, which is surprisingly a beautiful sight to see.
I repeated this timing over and over again until I
finally reached a spot outside the break zone. After I
pulled the board back to my body, I decided to just float
on back to shore and wait for my ride back to Dana Point.
I dragged my body and carried my board across
the rocky floor of the ocean. I plopped down and either
coughed up or threw up salt water onto the wet sand. I sat
there oblivious for a half hour while Cram surfed.
When he emerged from the water, he laughed as he
yelled out, ―How is that for a power greater than TIM!
You‘re surfing with me every day now brother. Worship
the ocean if you have to, but I‘m draggin‘ your ass with me
every day.‖
He kept that promise for the next six months, until
we decided it was hopeless for me to continue to attemptsurfing. I wouldn‘t revisit the water until some eight
months later, thanks to Shaun Flowers. However, I began
the search for a power greater than myself that continues
to this day.
Today, I sit each morning in stillness doing my best
to connect with that source of all things manifest. I try toobserve and connect with ―God‖ and allow that
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connection to move me all because of that day when Cram
tried to drown me just to make a point.
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Chapter 6
GOD: A SEMANTIC
DISCUSSION
People keep getting lost in semantics about source.
Let‘s try the best we can to get on the same page here.
However you wish to call it, there is a zero point
field in which all things exist as pure potential and from
which all things manifest. It is beyond space and time, and
beyond human understanding, but observation leads us to
this conclusion. I freely use the word God, Universe, or
Essence to describe this zero point field of potentiality.
If you prefer to subscribe to a particular religious
paradigm please do so. If you profess the belief in no God,
that is your choice. If this is the case, just think of energy
and the formation thereof. Think of the Big Bang theory.
Go read about it if you have to, and see if you can‘t wrap
your mind around what I‘m talking about. Based on your
own experiences, study, and feelings you have created a
paradigm/world view which helps your mind make sense
out of the experience of living. All of humanity once held
the paradigm that made it factual that the world was flat.
It took one man who faced certain death to change that
―fact‖ into what you know today.
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Let‘s not get lost again in the details. You have the
choice to enhance your own understanding of your
religious paradigm or lack thereof, or to take a defensiveposture and miss the point of all this. Either choice is
acceptable to me. The belief in God or the belief in Chaos,
I can see the validity to either argument. Now from
whichever description you wish to compare the thought
to, contemplate the concept fully that an essence from
which all things manifest, a place where all things are
created and continue to exist, is at the core of your being.
LET THE TRUTH SET YOU FREE
The area of consciousness that controls the
automatic functioning of the brain also senses the
frequency energy of the present. The dynamic system ofthe human awareness field of consciousness functions as a
filter to recognize the different frequencies and vibrations
of energy. The mind conceptualizes, separates and
categorizes all of the frequencies in its field of awareness
with intent and purpose.
Call it the unconscious mind. Call it the sixth
sense, if you will. Call it the soul. Call it God. I don‘t care
what you call it. Just understand that before the moment
the sensory data is conceptualized, the unconscious mind
is aware of the situation. A chicken and the egg
conundrum exist in that statement. Did the unconscious
frequency create the observation or did the observation
create the unconscious frequency? Really, who cares? Try
not to get lost!
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FIND ‘I AM’
We have all lost sight of the truth of the ―I am‖essence of our origin. Without knowing the truth of the ―I
am‖ essence that flows through you, you will spend a
lifetime chasing rainbows and butterflies. You will
continue swimming in the shallow depths of prestige,
power, lust, and possession. You will experience suffering
to some degree or another.
We have to begin to stop our minds from getting
caught up in the semantic ramblings of who we are as
individuals. We each must remove the veil of delusion
that has us concerned more with getting, obtaining, and
conquering, in an attempt to fulfill and complete
ourselves. The struggle and strife we observe today are of
our own making. We observe in the present moment the
collective semantics of moments passed - a matrix of self-
delusion.
Life is much easier than we‘ve made it out to be.
Many combinations of words speak of the same truth. It
serves no one to compare, contrast, and protect any singleparadigm of belief from others. Your faith is your faith,
converting anyone to it is impossible without you first
being completely congruent with the message. You cannot
tell me of your prophet and the majesty of worshiping in
your manner if your actions are not aligned.
The words you use and the actions you take areabsolutely meaningless. It is the vibration of your being
that truly makes a difference. All day long you can
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witness to me about the message of God, but if your heart
is impure and your faith is wavering, your message is lost.
If you believe the semantics written in the books of
your religion to be true, then live them fully and let all
witness the glory of its truth. You can‘t hold
condemnation and compassion in your heart at the same
time. They are not congruent. Your words will fall on
deaf ears, and your actions are just empty and for show.
I can talk about the concept of unconditional love
and acceptance all day long, but when I get triggered into
insecurity, and act like a jackass towards another human
being, I am dishonoring the truth of being. I am not being
congruent. I can‘t help anyone heal if I have not myself
healed. If you hold in yourself a belief of truth, or
subscribe to a religious faith, please do your best to stop
the argument of semantics. It serves no one.
Find common ground in the different philosophies
of faith and use that common ground to expand the
awareness of self. Move past any paradigm held within,
and find the true essence of self. Find your own ―I am‖.
MOUNTAINS OF SEMANTICS
Take a moment now to place an image into your
mind of a large mountain. At the very peak of that
mountain is a vantage point to all of creation. From that
vantage point you‘ll notice many different paths that lead
to the peak.
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Each path is equally direct, and each path has its
own detours and walls to climb. Sometimes the paths
cross over one another. Eventually each path reaches thesummit and clarity is offered. On some paths physical
death must occur for clarity to be known, other paths make
the summit available in a single lifetime.
We will all get to the summit eventually, because
we all came from that summit. The climber that is limited
by perspective is the one still making the ascent. The
climbers at summit are in such awe of the perspective
offered that they care nothing about the paths meandering
below. They only offer encouraging and empowering
shouts from the top in all directions to all paths. As their
shouts ring into the ears of those willing to listen, the
message is taken, filtered through the individual paradigm
as an exclusive message, and the lunacy of self-delusion
continues to stunt the ascending beings.
How much easier it would be if climbers on their
respective paths yelled out encouragement towards one
another? How much more enjoyable would the assent be
if climbers cheered the entire way up, not just for thosewho share the trail, but also for all whom climb the
mountain?
The scientific or religious paradigm that helps you
understand the nature and origin of the universe and your
place in it is beckoning you to the path of personal
freedom. You are meant to create a more aligned reality.Go beyond the concept of science or religion to the concept
of the individual self and step into the empty void of
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possibilities where separation is blurred and togetherness
is evident.
Ascend the mountain of consciousness to the
summit and stare into the vastness of the void: the core of
all things manifest. Detach from the concepts of science or
religion for a moment and just be still.
Now, return the mind with that stillness to examine
the individual or global paradigm on which consciousness
balances. Allow yourself to align your personal paradigm
properly. We each hold delusions that have been passed
through the generational time gap from the dawn of the
history of man to the current point of observation.
One of Buddha‘s most powerful teachings
contained no words. It is written that he stood in front of
thousands of monks holding a lotus petal without
speaking a word. Hours went by with no words until the
Buddha recognized the look of understanding and
enlightenment overcome one monk‘s face.
At that point the Buddha rose and announced thelesson was finished, bowed and left. The idea in this story
is that the wisdom of the stillness found in the lotus petals
is ultimate freedom. By cultivating stillness within, one
sheds the attachment to manifest form and clears and
purges any dysfunctional paradigms. It is then that
freedom is experienced and expressed.
Compare these messages to that of any of the
teachings of Christ, and differences are miniscule. For
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example, the Sermon on the Mount verbalizes in a similar
fashion the idea of stillness of being, and the faith of a
mustard seed.
The teaching of Tao Te Ching attributed to Lao Tzu
expresses this concept throughout its teaching by
suggesting that each act taken be the only act of the mind.
The Vedas describe the paths to freedom and arrive
at a similar conclusion. They all subscribe to the idea that
both right and wrong are conceptualized by human
beings. Therefore, I surmise that manifestation just is.
If you cultivate detachment from self-identity, the
truth of being will become known; the result is freedom.
These stories are great, and the teachings are valid, but
they were transcribed by travelers who were still on the
path, as too are both you and I. The words were given to
people who still operate with a paradigm that is attached
to manifest reality. It only stands to reason that something
may have been lost in translation.
We have at work the human factor in all of this.Though the words of those books may be from a Divine
source, man wrote them all down; often times after
generations of oral teachings. It doesn‘t really make sense
to believe that some form of literary licensing didn‘t take
place in this process. More to the point, words are
insufficient in explaining ultimate truth of reality or the
nature of God.
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Chapter 7
THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF
IT
Good and bad are nothing more than the concepts
of our shallow minds. The nature of form is positive and
negative charge in equal proportion. Duality, yin and
yang, heaven and hell, whatever…don‘t get so distracted.
Defining manifest reality is the very thing that perpetuates
the cycle of suffering that I have experienced and you are
currently experiencing.
All things manifest are at their nature impermanent
and all feelings derived thereof share that quality. In this
dance of opposites, healing the negative will unveil the
positive thus allowing for the cultivation and appreciation
thereof. Furthermore, concerning oneself with only the
positive by ignoring the negative will inevitably lead to
suffering as the façade cannot be kept forever. Nothing in
manifest form would exist without an opposite charge of
equal proportion. Affirming all day long the positive
without honoring the presence of any so called negative
within is an act of denial, rejection, and finally hostility.
The idea of good and bad is conceptual, subjective,
and only real to the mind and the experience of humanconsciousness. From the physical nature of the basic
atomic structure on the periodic chart of elements, to the
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complexities of human interaction, two sides to the
proverbial coin exist. It is completely pointless for you or
me to focus on the conceptualization of good or bad. Themind lacks the complete picture for that determination to
be made.
More than meets the senses happens in each
moment. Individuals are incapable of grasping the full
scope of reality enough to distinguish good or bad. Things
just are. Remove the concept of good and bad from the
mind. Free the mind of the laborious task of righting the
world and you will learn the true majesty (essence?) of
being.
THE SOURCE IS THE SOURCE OF COURSE OF
COURSE
If you hold the idea that the hand of God is present
in everything, then stop bitching and start enjoying! You
must understand that what you observe with feeling will
be represented in the future for you to observe. Your
reality is not based on the actual conditions of current
reality; it is based on your reaction to those conditions. It‘s
all in your head.
When you deny anything, it is a denial of the glory
of God. Anything in manifest form, the form we can
experience, that is denied by the mind, is a denial of the
source essence from which it came. Denial in itself is
actually a delusion. All of the thoughts you direct towards
any energy allows for the perpetuation of that energy. The
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essence from which all things manifest is bigger than, and
more powerful, than you or I can conceive. The denial of
any portion of that essence leads to the oddities of life westruggle against daily.
If the source essence (God) expresses itself through
all things manifest, including the localized field of human
consciousness (you), then it stands to reason that all forms
of denial are nothing more than a denial of the self as well
as a denial of the source from which it came. The guy you
wish you could just punch in the face is an aspect of the
essence of all being. So punch yourself in the face for
crying out loud and leave that dude alone. Well, ok again,
you can punch his face if you have to.
But please understand the mind‘s denial through
conceptualization is neither the purpose, nor the original
intent, of the field of observational awareness. On the
contrary, the level of consciousness that a person observes
is really meant to experience and honor the essence of
being as it flows through all things. As is its original
intent, so follows the process of manifestation.
Your observations and thoughts are an act of
honor, even if you are denying something. The honor of
observation or contemplation sends the message to the
source of all essence what the observer wishes to
experience. No distinction is made between observations
and contemplations. It doesn‘t matter if you experience it
or imagine it. The mind‘s thought energy translates thesame. So, as you see, it is imperative to direct the mind
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carefully and intentionally through each moment, with
each breath.
Think back to all the thoughts you remember
having today. What did you think about most? All of
those ideas are now trying to manifest for you. You are so
cherished that every thought of your being manifests for
your future enjoyment. Choose wisely.
THE DAMNEDEST THINGS
I readily admit that my observations of the material
world convince me of the damnedest things. My
observations and misperceptions have created some very
negative experiences in my life. I will even more readily
point out that your observations about life do as well.
Humanity as a whole is caught in a self-
perpetuating cycle of suffering. Something in us distracts
us as our observations are being processed and
conceptualized. As we contemplate the moment in time
just witnessed, the present moment slips from our
awareness. It has been my experience that most of the
messages and opportunities of the present moment usually
pass unnoticed. We are each too busy in contemplation.
The tricky part about life is the fact that our
contemplations create our reality. If we all spent less time
contemplating and more time enjoying those little kinks
and defects we experience, those kinks would begin to
correct themselves on their own. I don‘t mean to bury
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your head in the sand, but at some point we must look
past the material world.
We each have a paradigm, a set of deeply held
concepts, believed to be true, which creates the perspective
from which life is observed. Statements like, ―life is hard
out there,‖ or ―the economy is tough all over the world,‖
come from and help form the collective paradigm. We each
have these ―statements of fact‖ accessible in the recesses of
our minds and the reality of reality is very subjective as a
result. It is all held together by a collective agreement.
In the history of man the world was flat, man
couldn‘t fly, and communication only happened face to
face. It was from the unfailing belief in a different reality,
from a few select individuals, that altered reality as we
know it. Had any of the great men and women of history
bought into the current paradigm of their respective times,
life would be drastically different today.
Henry Ford was told for years, by his engineers,
that his engine could not be built the way he envisioned it.
Edison failed thousands of times to make a workable lightbulb. Galileo faced death because of his discoveries. The
idea of bending metal and transporting hundreds of
people across thousands of miles through the air in just a
few hours at one point was absolutely ludicrous. Yet, here
I am, able to book a ticket to visit faraway lands on a
moment‘s notice. I can contact most people I know
anywhere in the world instantly.
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Growing up, I learned from a wild haired maniac
that everything is energy and light. Yes, mass is but an
illusion, and still, so very few of us have any cluewhatsoever as to just how miraculous life really is.
We all have worries and pressing concerns that
occupy our time and energy while life just passes us by.
My mind seems to be easily distracted by the appearance
of reality. I find it very easy to take the suggestion of
limited resources and finite energy from major media,
movies, and conversations throughout my day as fact.
Looking back, I know that I started out in life
believing in instability, disharmony, limitations, and
insecurity. My life has always been a reflection of those
beliefs. During each phase of my now 34 years, I have
regularly felt a lack of worth, a lack of hope, and alone in
this world. I have observed and discovered that we all
have an individual paradigm that basically robs of us the
majestic experience of being, sad but true. I have come to
the realization that my own beliefs hinder the truth of the
essence of my being from flowing freely into this world.
You and I are much more than we give ourselves
credit for, and we are much more capable of experiencing
happiness than we allow ourselves. We stand in our own
way and choose suffering over bliss. We observe effect
and ignore the cause. We contemplate the meaning of me,
instead of the meaning of us. For the most part, the type of
happiness I have experienced during my life has beendependent on outside conditions.
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I chased proverbial dragons much of my life. I
have a list of ―things‖ I want to buy, places I want to see,
and awards I want to receive. At one point in time Ithought any one of, or maybe all of those things would
make me happy. I discovered the hard way that this type
of happiness is not my goal. I beat my head against that
wall for many years. Ok, I still sometimes beat my head
against that wall. What can I say? The only way I am able
to walk on water is with a surfboard beneath my feet.
I have, however, discovered that my true aim is to
cultivate a detached state of calm, peace, and blissful being
while striving for the financial conditions that allow me to
own and drive an Aston Martin DB9. Is that too much to
ask? I don‘t think so.
Some form of rejection takes place when I reduce
the universe of energy and matter into a concept in my
mind. I watch my mind throughout the day as it gets lost
conceptualizing the world around me. I find it nearly
impossible to realize that manifest form, the world I
experience (maybe perceive), is in a continual state of flux.
The concept that the solidity of matter is a trick of
sensory data as interpreted by my mind escapes my
realization most moments of my day. I often forget, or
maybe ignore, the futility of trying to define reality and the
origin nature of being. Good thing that I do or you
wouldn‘t really be reading these words at this moment,
would you?
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I have tried my best to wrap my noodle around the
impermanence of material form, but the experience of my
life through each day distracts me from that realization. Imean, this all seems solid to me. It all feels pretty real. I
slipped on some moss at the beach the other day. That
rock seemed solid enough to my arm as I scrapped across
it on my way into the ocean. The memory of the barnacles
that were introduced to my elbow came forth as I slipped
my shirt on today.
So, telling my mind that none of it is real just seems
stupid some days. On such days, I must sit silently and
remind myself that my consciousness observes all things
according to its own paradigm, and reality may not be
exactly as I interpret it.
I believe that my soul is energy. As I distract
myself with the perils of material survival, the energy of
my being becomes dull and dense. The truth of
manifestation is often rejected by my mind. Like I said
earlier, I get caught up in the tiny details that make reality
dense. Essentially, my life is reduced to a semantic
argument, a search for meaning through words, phrasessigns and symbols all from my very limited perspective.
Too often, I allow my mind to become distracted by
stuff like bills and credit scores. When my attention is not
focused, and my energy is not centered, everything in my
awareness field, from the cells of my body, to the numbers
in my bank account, manifest differently. I am able torealize this because I have been very vigilant in observing
myself, even though I often fail to be vigilant in my actual
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practice of being. In this I have learned my need to take
control of the semantic arguments that occupy the
forefront of my mind.
It is those semantic arguments that trigger my
emotional state of being, and from my emotional state of
being comes the perpetuation of manifest reality - a reality
that I have co-created. When my energy gets trapped in a
semantic discussion of ―should have been‖ or ―should
have said‖, an imbalance manifests. Immediately, this
happens in my emotional state of being, and later in my
experience with the world around me.
On the way to work, I might remember a
conversation with a friend of mine that triggered a sense of
hurt in me. I will then play out different scenarios and
conversations where he and I joust with words. I play out
things I should have said, and will say next time to a T.
While doing so, I create energy; emotions well up inside of
me. If I keep with the role playing I am creating my
future. The energy that moment creates is an indicator to
whatever it is that creates our experience that those
emotions are our preferred state of being. We are usingour power all wrong here. Emotions are valuable and
useful for us.
Emotions are our internal guidance system, yet no
one taught us how to use them. We allow our minds to
change our emotional state of being, which in turn co-
creates what we observe in the future. Each of us isdeluded by a concept of individuality. We spend all of our
waking hours noticing the differences in our being by
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comparing our concept of self to all other things manifest.
Each of us holds some idea of who we are and how life
should be. We expend great mental, physical, andemotional energy to make the ―should‖ come to be. As
long as everything is close to the way we want it to be, we
stay relatively happy. But, our happiness is still at this
point relative: A+B = happy for too many of us. That
seems to be the equation of happiness for humanity.
My mind finds it difficult to accept the things that I
experience and observe daily. The actions of people
around me, the things I see on the news, and some of the
current conditions of my life are quickly rejected by my
mind. I have worked diligently to accept all that is as it is.
I have struggled with doing so all too often. I recently
realized that my rejection of whatever is present in my
awareness field is actually a condemnation of the essence
of all being (God, Source, Tao).
It doesn‘t match up for me to believe in a source of
creation, and a binding force common in all manifest
forms, and at the same time profess that something is
wrong. The two concepts are seemingly incongruent. Yes,I agree that many things that we have helped create miss
the point. Many things in this world are strange to me.
But, the simple reality is, I am witnessing the effect of a
collection of causes, and ignoring the cause of all cause.
For some reason I have formed this habit as an
attempt to make sense of me, make sense of you, and makesense of this world. Somehow, my rejection of you has
made me feel better, but, never for too long.
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Chapter 8
OUR THOUGHTS CREATE THE
FUTURE
The imagination of our minds is powerful. What
we imagine becomes our reality. As I imagined being
broke due to my schedule at work, it was so. I could have
spent the equivalent of a full day a month imagining my
perfect life and planning the steps to achieve it. Yet, I
chose to worry about why I had been getting the worst
shifts at work.
By imagining negative scenarios, my energy is not
centered or vibrating in the correct pattern that will attract
new and exciting opportunities. When I imagined being
broke, I was conceptualizing lack, and therefore
harmonizing my state of being with it. By conceptualizing
lack, I have, in essence, honored the lack of money and
placed the request for that experience to happen in the
future.
I ask and I have received. All is right in the world.
God is good.
I‘ve found that at any level of material success, in
any location in the world, I bring one thing and one thingonly: myself. I have discovered that I am not my body, not
my history, not my social affiliations, or my world-views.
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I am a human apparently attempting to learn the art of
being. Consciousness is localized in my body. I have
recently gained the experience of bliss, love, and freedomunmatched in material form. I observe now perfection
unfolding in all that I see.
Call it what you will, I call it the Divine Spark.
Once I became aware of the Divine Spark of all things
manifest, I found it impossible to reject anything in my
awareness field; and that‘s where true freedom begins.
This is where the power of the present moment of now is
felt, and known. This is the truth that will set you free.
But, this is a big challenge to remember day in and day
out. It is all too easy for me to ignore the awareness of the
Divine Spark ever present and create a state of discontent.
MUSTARD
My experience of life is all about me, and your
experience of life is all about you. All things that manifest
into your awareness field can represent an aspect of your
being, and you manifest that with which you vibrate the
most. Material form is finite. Energy clusters too are finite
and ever changing, yet there is an essence that is expressed
consistently throughout eternity in a constant state of
expansion and contraction.
You are that. You are the image of God. You are
the holy trinity. You are the emptiness from which all
things manifest. You are nothing. You are everything. It‘s
all about you. The core of your being is the pulse and a
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rhythm of essence expressing itself through all atoms of
the world of material form.
With a quiet enough conscious mind and a clear
enough unconscious paradigm you will find the essence of
being: empty stillness. From the empty stillness of being
all things manifest into your life according to thought and
through action. The teachings of Christ tell us that a man
who cultivates the faith of a mustard seed can say to a
mountain, ―Move into the sea,‖ and the mountain will
have no choice. Let‘s look at that statement for a minute.
A mustard seed does not worry that one day it will
not grow to its fullest potential. At no point in its journey
does it say, ―You know what, maybe I should be an apple
tree.‖
A mustard seed does not sit in the soil complaining
how muddy it is and how there are no sunny days. As it
reaches the surface is doesn‘t stop growing because it sees
human beings walk by and ignore it as they walk over
smell a rose.
No, it does none of that. The mustard seed basks in
the light of being. It allows the combination of the
elements of the earth‘s atmosphere, the soil, even our
acidic rain to fuel its natural growth. As it basks in the
light, its complete essence is realized.
Towards the end of the season, the now mustardplant doesn‘t look back and say, ―I should have done that
differently,‖ nor does it cling onto the vestiges of manifest
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form trying to escape its descent into the abyss as winter
approaches.
The roots don‘t complain as they lie dormant,
frozen in the ground for months. When the new season
comes, and the natural rhythm of growth pulses, the
universe hears no complaints. What was once a seed
restarts its journey with no mind of being different, with
no mind of the past, and no thought of the future.
All of creation exists selflessly and in a state of
stillness in the same manner as the mustard seed; all
except human beings. We‘ve lost sight of the art of being,
by conceptualizing the self.
Even our most selfless acts are selfish. Helping
people in need triggers a good feeling in me. I know more
than one person who is continually of service because they
love the attention they receive when they talk about it.
None of my altruistic acquaintances realize the
implications of their actions. They feel good building
homes, volunteering, and thinking they are making a
difference. I feel good writing this book, and coachingpeople on spirituality. So I guess I‘m a little selfish too.
I believe that in order to learn to be completely
selfless, we each must follow our motivations more clearly.
When we go out into the world to save it, who are we
really saving? When we help, are we doing it to be of
service or do we want to make mommy and daddy proud?Or better yet, do we want to make them frustrated? Is
your motivation coming from your sense of self, or is it the
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will of the essence of your being that rose from stillness?
I‘ll answer this one for you. It‘s a little of both. HERE.
BELIEF OR FAITH??
Let‘s say I get into a relationship with another
amazing woman. Entering the new relationship, what I
realize is, while I have cleared all of my self-worth and
esteem issues I have not yet cleared my paradigm of thebelief that women stray in relationships. As the new
relationship unfolds, I believe the essence of love that I
share with her will uproot the idea in the paradigm that
does not match – unfaithfulness. When it comes up as a
thought in my mind, I must address it and clear my mind
of that thought at once.
If I spend time thinking about all the proof that
women are unfaithful to even to the most loving men, then
I will unconsciously create the conditions in our
relationship that support the actions I fear most. I do this
by being controlling or needy, not listening to her enough,
and/or ignoring her needs. In my fear that she‘ll be
passionate with another man, I will alienate her just
enough that it actually happens. I might get overly
focused and busy with some project and make little time to
foster our relationship, but that too stems from an
unconscious manifestation of the concept in my paradigm
I forgot to clear (the one that says women stray in
relationships).
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It is not her; it is me who creates the situations in
my life. Had I cleared the paradigm of unfaithfulness
before we met, our meeting may have never sparked therelationship in the first place. Yeah, it‘s that tricky.
So, as you can see, it is best to clear the mind of any
preconceived misconceptions, as those misconceptions will
be one day experienced and observed. If we don‘t begin to
recognize the mirroring effect of the unconscious mind, we
will continue to perceive that the current situations in our
lives happen solely outside of ourselves. When we do so,
the meaning we give to current events will be sent back
into the unconscious paradigm and thus reinforced.
All my life I have waited for the other shoe to drop,
and it always has. The reason: all of my life I have held the
paradigm that I am meaningless, worthless, and won‘t
ever amount to anything. So, here I sit, just back from
Brazil, renting a trailer in Buffalo, Ohio, a town of 600
people in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. I am
asset poor, I am in debt to companies and family, and
spend much of my time alone.
The only way out of any of this is to change the
energy that flows through me. I know from experience
that an essence of peace, tranquility, and love flows freely
through me. I also know from self-reflection that the
essence of my being harmonizes with the paradigm of my
unconscious mind, which has been inharmonious. I see
that everything I experience is in accord to the unconsciousbeliefs I hold about life being unsafe, dangerous, and
overall, pretty pointless. I have failed to connect on a level
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of friendship to maintain relationships. I have failed to
succeed in creating a secure financial structure. I have
failed to follow my bliss. I have succeeded in manifestingthat which I held as true. I have achieved exactly the level
of success I believed I deserved and was capable of. I am
what I‘ve said I would be. But, now I know how to change
it all. My paradigm is now clear of those ―things‖ and I
know the truth of the essence of my being. It is only a
matter of time that outside conditions manifest in kind.
HOW I CREATED MISERY
Let‘s use a real life example of what I am talking
about. Since, It’s All About Me, I will use my life as an
example of how stuff goes wrong.
For the better part of 3 years I worked in a
restaurant in Venice, California. The management position
had about a six-month shelf-life. This is not too
uncommon in our business; but it does say something
about the company structure. Just before the arrival of the
new manager, I started a relationship with a co-worker,
(not smart I know), but she is an amazingly seductive
woman and I went against my better judgment.
I knew the first time she came over to my
apartment that I should not get involved. When I cuddled
with her while watching a movie I could tell she was not
the girl for me, but I liked her attention. It felt good to feel
wanted by someone who was wanted by every guy I
knew. So I started hanging out with her.
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A few months into the relationship our restaurant
hired a new general manager. He acted as if he had amission in life to change the world as it pertained to this
little restaurant. He brought in a gang-load of new people,
mostly life-long friends of his. At the same time he became
a little combative and condescending with the staff he
inherited. I sat back and noticed some odd things about
him and did a little digging.
The guy was not really on the up and up. He
lacked integrity, and I felt he was capable of robbing the
place blind without losing much sleep. I found out later
that my instincts were correct. He lined his pockets before
he sent the numbers to the corporate offices. He stole cases
of booze, and his friends all ate for free.
Now, I have never really been one to be able to
hide what I feel about a person. I am a heart-on-my-sleeve
kind of guy. This guy immediately started to pick up on
my contempt for him. His own insecurities came out
when he was around me, and I was often too quick to
point them out to him. Naturally, he began to assert hisdominance in our social contract of General Manager and
Bartender. The first thing he did was schedule his friends
to work shifts that were promised to me during Cinco de
Mayo in a Mexican themed bar in Los Angeles.
To this, I didn‘t react that well. I confronted him. I
told him outright that I had witnessed him lying severaltimes and didn‘t like being railroaded. He sat there on a
case of liquor and denied it all without ever looking me in
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the eyes. I knew he was running a hustle, but he had the
ear of the absentee owner. He proceeded to paint a
horrible picture of me, and I made it very easy for him todo so.
Like I said, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.
Each day, the moment I showed up to work, my state of
being immediately took on an angry, aggressive tone. I
began to be hostile while working, which isn‘t always the
best trait of a bartender. Things got a little ugly, and
feelings got a little hurt. Yet today, I thank God for that
situation. It is what sent me to the waterside for a week of
contemplation, and finally to the point of following a
lifelong dream of writing a book.
I have taken full responsibility for situations that
have occurred in my life. I harmonized myself to become a
victim of circumstance, and experience lack, frustration
and acted from a place of hostility.
Let‘s go back in the timeframe of that point in the
history of Tim McAuley a bit. As my relationship with the
server continued in secret, things started to change a littlefor me at work. I couldn‘t tell some guys to back off. Every
shift we had together my focus was on her, and which guy
was asking for her phone number. I couldn‘t reveal the
fact she and I were together. It nearly drove me crazy
some days.
Co-workers would talk about her in ways that
enraged me, and hit on her while we worked. I wouldhear about what she was like when I wasn‘t working; and
the stories made me nervous about her level of
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commitment to monogamy. All of this added up and
begin triggering insecurity in me. Insecurity in romantic
relationships is common in my history, but for this womanit seemed as if it was her mission. She continually
communicated to me the parts of me she found less than
acceptable. She made little comments about me being too
skinny. She seemed to like to point out male bodies that
didn‘t match mine and how sexy she thought they were –
a trigger of insecurity in me.
As the relationship progressed my state of being
became more insecure. Enter now the aforementioned
new manager and you can see how I created a less than
ideal situation for myself. Two months into that
relationship we lost a baby, two close friends of mine died,
and my father had a heart attack during my visit home. It
is easy to imagine my state of my being during this time of
my life.
I felt the world had closed in on me. I felt
abandoned, scared, and lost. In two short months, I went
from feeling like I could own the world to wanting to chew
on the barrel of a gun. I found it difficult to pay rent as Ikept loosing shifts for really questionable reasons. I tried
to talk to the owner about my situation at work, but it all
fell on deaf ears.
On the surface, it was easy for the owner to take the
side of the manager. The picture he painted of me was one
of a less than desirable employee, and on a few occasionshe was right.
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At one point, I begged my girlfriend to stop
invalidating me. Funny right? I wanted her to validate me
when I couldn‘t myself. I really couldn‘t find a way out of
it all, so I just walked away.
When I walked away, I decided I was no longer
fighting life. If other people are in some silly competition
with me, they win. I‘m out. So, I just sat on the wall next
to boardwalk in Venice, California staring into the vastness
of the Pacific Ocean and contemplated my life all to
discover I did all of this to myself.
I discovered that my observation and experience
relates back to my unconscious paradigm, and the
unconscious brings me into situations that match my
observations. The law of attraction, I found works with or
without me creating a dream board. I found that I
harmonize my being with thoughts of inadequacy and find
myself in situations that trigger me to feel inadequate. So,
say this next statement to yourself: ―It’s All About Me”.
This is true for me, and it is true for you.
I then took a job in a Latin themed nightclub in theheart of Downtown Los Angeles, California. It started out
well enough. In one month at my new job, I went from
stocking beer to being in the bartending rotation. Then a
new manager came in, and patterns began to emerge. He
started to throw his power around, and I began to worry
about making money. The worry vibrated a sense of lack
in my being. In return, I experienced the lack of money,and my schedule at the nightclub reinforced my sense of
lack week by week.
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During that time I had effectively reduced the
abundance of the universe from infinite potential into one
central source. From that perspective the nightclub thatemployed me became the source of money. Since money is
my source of financial wellbeing and security, my mind
made this job the source of my security.
Infinite ways exist for me to collect numbers in
bank accounts and pieces of currency into my possession.
I shut my senses down to any of these possibilities each
time I worry about my schedule or focus on lacking the
current funds to pay my bills. When I observe lack in my
life I create lack in my future. Each thought in my mind
possesses the power of creation.
I have come to realize that my financial lack
stemmed mainly from a feeling of being undervalued. I
projected my lack of self-esteem onto the individual in
charge of scheduling at one location on the planet. The
manager at that nightclub, just like the manager at my
previous job, was all too willing to schedule me in a
manner to reinforce my lack of security. I have since
discovered that I was unable to sense possibilitiespresenting themselves to my then present moment as my
mind was worried about finding the money to pay my
bills. I dissipated my energy and closed myself off to any
other opportunities that could have possibly offered value
to my bank account and I helped perpetuate temporary
situations with my continual focus on the tiny details that
made up the story my mind was telling me.
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Time after time I find myself in the same
relationship over and over with different faces and names.
My boss at the new club dramatically affected myschedule, which triggered emotions that mirrored my
previous job experience. I began changing my focus, and it
became evident that it was not the outside conditions, but
my inner being that was creating this chain of events.
Well, I did kind of provoke this guy a little.
I‘m not a fan of authority figures flexing up on me
just for the fact of position. So when a guy continually
asserts his dominance towards me, I smile with a cockiness
that says you are a meaningless little turd in this toilet
bowl. Then the following week I wonder why it is I am
getting shafted on shifts. My invalidation of his (my
manager‘s) Divine nature was reflected fully in his
invalidation of me as an employee.
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A n o t h e r S p e c i a l N o t e
F r o m T i m M c A u l e yr e g a r d i n g t h e c o n t e n t o ft h i s d o c u m e n t : I hope you’re enjoyingmy book. Do you think your friends would like tocheck it out? Send them a message by clicking eitheror both of the links below.
If you haven’t already connected with me in someway via
facebook or twitter please do so. I would love to hear any
feedback of this sample. If you’ve purchased the actual book, I
would love to connect with you. Maybe I can come out to
where you are and sign your copy.
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Chapter 9
DISCOVERING THAT MY REAL
GURU IS A DOUCHE
At that point I realized I will never escape this
pattern of reality and overcome my financial karma of
being broke until I take steps to clear the paradigm that
has created these conditions. Since I can only take steps in
the present, the ―tool‖ who managed the nightclub in Los
Angeles that employed me became my guru. I have for a
while found it necessary to discover the qualities I dislike
about others, and then take time to find those qualities in
myself and embrace them.
Across the street from the Staples Center I
discovered my inner fat kid needs some love. I saw that I
must embrace and heal my inner douche bag in order for
the essence of my being to fully be free. It was, and is, my
goal to experience and express unconditional love. But, if I
only direct my love at those things I enjoy, my love is not
unconditional.
In doing the inner work to find commonality
between a bar manager and myself in Los Angeles, I began
to find a sense of freedom. The energy between him and
me changed. I stopped rejecting him. I began to accepthim as he was and not how I wanted him to be. I looked at
him as if he were a potential Buddha and tried daily to see
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the spark of Christ radiate in his heart. Doing so made it
much harder to call him a douche.
Not one word was exchanged, and my schedule
began to shift. I found myself making pretty decent
money, on pretty good shifts, and actually having a really
great time at work with him.
MY PARADIGM OF MONEY
I mention each scenario separately, but the
separation does not exist. What am I describing is all
about worth issues, insecurities, and an inferiority
complex. I can relate each relationship and each condition
of my current reality to my personal belief structure, my
paradigm. All of my observations and experience in thepresent moment mirror the paradigm through which my
essence (soul) has expressed itself.
My consciousness reacts from a triggered state
according to its paradigm. It brings up automatic
responses from the unconscious. Many times, that
response is associative in its nature. It carries with it the
power of the memory of similar events. The unconscious
mind takes over, and like a puppet, the conscious mind
follows its lead. I learned from my relationship with a bar
manager of a nightclub in downtown Los Angeles that
freedom comes from clearing the paradigm.
Take for instance my paradigm as it pertains to
money. I grew up in the foothills of the Appalachian
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Mountains in South Eastern Ohio. My dad was a steel
worker all of my life and a proud member of the AFL-CIO.
The union put a roof over my head, and food on my table.My mom, for most of my childhood, worked in a dry-
cleaner. Most days she would be the only person in the
place, doing 3 jobs at once, and rarely ever saw an increase
in wages.
For the area I lived in, two incomes and the union
wages my dad brought in, the family income was more
than enough to live a very nice lifestyle. But, we still lived
paycheck to paycheck. The money just never seemed to
accumulate. Subsequently, talks about money were never
a good day in that house.
From the combination of the paradigms of my two
parents, I have one of the best work ethics of anyone I
know. I learned from my dad to show up and give all that
I have to what I do. I learned from my mom to do what
you need to do to get by.
My dad once said to me after I quit my first job,
―You agreed to the wage, you do the work. Don‘t work forthe money, and if you don‘t like the wage, find a new job.‖
I am very happy with the sense of honor I have as part of
my money paradigm. It is a good trait to be able to show
up and suit up. Unfortunately, I also formed in my
paradigm the idea of a week-to-week lifestyle. I bring in
money, I spend money. The more I earn, the more I spend.
I learned very little about investing or cash flow from myparents. I learned a lot about trading hours for wages and
hoping to get insurance coverage.
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In the past 10 years I have been lucky enough to
have some really amazing jobs tending bar up and down
the California Coast. But, no matter the amount of cash Ibrought in, I never really seemed to accumulate a savings
or any form of investment. Money came, I spent it.
When I drank, it went to booze. When I got sober,
well, I‘m not really sure where it went. I just didn‘t seem
to keep hold of it. I worked two years at the most lucrative
job I‘ve known and had very little to show for it.
My paradigm on money did not contain the word
asset in it. I did get a nice SUV, but the loan rate was
ridiculous. My money paradigm did not contain a healthy
credit score. My money paradigm matched my self-
esteem, and apparently my self-esteem was in the red.
In clearing my paradigm of money I have
discovered some very interesting things about myself and
about money itself. I have learned to see past that
delusion as well. Life is good. Life is abundant. Money is
just another aspect of life that ebbs and flows.
MONEY DOES NOT EQUAL WORTH
I know many men and women who have all the
money they will ever need and little to no self-esteem. The
difference is, they hold a paradigm that makes money
work for them, though their lack of self-esteem follows the
same pattern as mine has. Spend money to buy things that
make me feel worthy. Spend money on other people so
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they will like me. Spend money. Spend money. Spend
money.
I have seen a few very wealthy men in Los Angeles
who appear to do nothing more than overcompensate for a
paradigm of worthlessness. The cars they buy, the bars
they own, and the way they speak to people all are
indications of the insecurity of their being. Everything in
their lives from their business to their wife is a trophy for
them to prove to the world they are good enough.
The only difference between some people with
wealth and the people begging for change is the paradigm
for obtaining and controlling assets. The guy living next to
the pier didn‘t learn the game or just quit playing it all
together. The guy who owns two restaurants and several
million dollars of assets just has better focus on getting
money and buying things that make him feel better about
himself. That‘s it.
Worth does not equate money. Don‘t get it in your
head that holding a vibration of self-worth will bring
millions of dollars into your bank account. It most likelywon‘t. But if you hold in your mind a picture of a reality
that is outside the one you currently experience, and take
action steps towards the realization of your desire you will
experience that which you desire.
If you think anything you can obtain or experience
outside of yourself will provide you with lasting feeling ofcomfort, safety or security, you‘re going to be chasing your
own tail for quite some time. The material results are
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based on your actions. They are not the happiness that
you desire. They just help trigger it from time to time. We
are better suited to find happiness first and then take stepstowards material success.
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Chapter 10
FORMING THE PARADIGM
From the day of birth to around the age of six,
consciousness is slowly awakening in a human body. The
wave functions in the brain are at a level sensitive to newconcepts and learning. Our brains are like little sponges
for information at that point in life. Consciousness learns
its body‘s functions and autonomy, and it learns to
communicate to the bigger people it sees.
The mind begins to understand certain limitations
of being in material form. Along with the fact that thebody can‘t fly, or walk through walls, the forming
consciousness picks up on the verbal instructions of the
other people in the field of awareness. The idea of its
separate identity begins to form, and consciousness starts
to realize its unique expression. Information that helps
form the paradigm of each localized consciousness is both
direct and indirect.
Every bit of information from the energy
surrounding us is somehow picked up and registered in
the unconscious mind. When we first start out in life, we
are ultra-receptive. The energy of a household can
sometimes be different than what is verbalized, and both
concepts will make it to the paradigm forming in theunconscious mind of our children. The unconscious mind
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is able to pick up on more than what the conscious mind
verbalizes.
Once we are able to start making observations, we
begin to form our inner paradigm defining the ―facts of
life‖. As we become aware of our own autonomy
(individuality), we attempt to make sense of the world.
The bigger people around us do the best they can to guide
us to some conclusions more quickly. Unfortunately those
bigger people are completely delusional and what we each
get is a unique perspective based on the combined
delusions of countless people in our lives.
By about the age of six each of us has usually
formed our own delusional paradigm, which we spend the
rest of our lives changing very little. Basically the deepest
part of your mind is like a six year old. Oh, come on you
know I‘m right. You and your little temper tantrums that
you hide from the world, with that little voice in your head
that runs around screaming all day for attention, and
demanding that everyone tell you how pretty you are.
You know it‘s there. Own it baby! It‘s just part of who we
think we are.
From this early age, when you formed a personal
paradigm that defines reality for you, the conscious and
unconscious parts of your mind began to guide and co-
create your experiences. During the earliest years of your
life, you held certain emotional vibrations due to whatever
circumstances you experienced at the time. Your life fromthat point till now has been a cycle of wash, rinse, and
repeat.
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You have lived the same two or three year state of
being over and over again for a lifetime. We find
ourselves here again in a chicken and egg question of whatcomes first, unconscious communication to the conscious
mind or vice versa. My take on it is that both are equally
responsible for the unfolding and experience of reality.
Once you have a better grasp on the situation you will be
able to clear from yourself the burden of ―self‖ more
easily.
Here is what I see happening. The unconscious
mind registers the frequency of all that has manifested into
form in the vicinity of consciousness. All things that
manifest have a frequency. The recognition of a particular
frequency or frequencies triggers neurochemical and
biological responses that communicate to the conscious
mind a definition of reality. During this, the conscious
mind is observing that which has manifest and is busy
looking for possible dangers or some hint of recognition.
Images and ideas are triggered through all of this to give
consciousness a reference point to explain the present
moment.
We spin ourselves in circles trying to conceptualize
ourselves into feeling safe, when no real reason exists to
ever feel insecure. The images in your mind that are from
the paradigm of a six year old are only useful if
understood as such. It is easier to clear the concept of self
when you understand how silly the idea is and how small
it makes the essence of you.
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So, here we find ourselves. Our consciousness
observes manifest reality and starts pontificating about the
reality of the present moment. Mind chatter fills theawareness field with scenarios of possible outcomes and
conversations to rectify a perceived threat to the security,
validity, or power of the conscious being.
You will find it useful to learn to review the
thoughts and conversations of yesterday for a moment.
What do you realize? How often were you in a
state of defensiveness? How about a state of panic? How
often did you feel overwhelmed, hurried, rushed, or
invalidated?
How much of yesterday were you in a state of pure
bliss, ecstasy and unconditional love?
Tell me about yesterday, and I‘ll get really close to
predicting your future.
THOUGHTS ARE MIXED AND SHAKEN OR STIRRED
Each of us is animated by conscious thought and an
unconscious paradigm moment by moment. The essence
of being (soul) flows from the source energy of all things
manifest (God) through the unconscious paradigm and
reconfigures its energy to harmonize. This act of harmony
provides direction to consciousness. Harmony tells our
consciousness where to direct its attention.
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The thoughts flowing in that stream of
consciousness are bursts of energy from the essence of
being harmonizing with the beliefs of the unconsciousparadigm. At that level, all things just are, it doesn‘t
matter if we conceptualize the belief as good or bad. As
the thoughts reach consciousness and are captured by the
mind, that concept in the paradigm is honored and kept.
Then the process of manifestation begins and at a later
time we experience an event that triggers a state of being
that matches what we have honored with our attention.
The reality your consciousness observes and
experiences moment to moment is a product of this
process. Everything from the tension in your shoulders, to
the hostile work environment, to the experience of deep
love is a product of this process. Somewhere along the line
you held certain beliefs about all of it, and therefore it
came to be. If that which you experience currently is not
aligned with what you had thought previously, all you just
have to do is wait for it.
MIND CHATTER
We each hold a paradigm that suggests to us that
certain outside conditions must exist in order for us to find
peace and tranquility. We frantically scan the present
moment in search of threats to our safety. Part of our
mind is still in search of the lion in the bush.
Think about it. How long can you go without
thinking about something bad that has happened or could
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possibly happen? How many times do you run scenarios
of conversations in your mind that you‘ll have in the
future or think about things you should‘ve said in the
past?
That‘s what I‘m talking about here. That stuff is
crazy. If half of the chatter that floats in your mind were to
come out of your mouth as you walked down the street,
you‘d be classified as insane.
I used to walk past a few guys every day that
would spout their stream of consciousness for all to hear. I
am surprised when they get odd looks from people. The
only difference between you and that guy who lives in a
blue van covered in bumper stickers down near Muscle
Beach in Venice is the fact that your filter is working.
Think about it; if you were say all that is on your
mind, you would look like an incoherent mess to the other
people around you. That is one of the reasons why we get
so scared that people are going to reject us, because we
each know how crazy we really are.
Now that we‘ve established that you arecompletely delusional and a little insane, let me try to
explain some things that help you know the truth of
yourself a little deeper. Hopefully this truth will make you
free.
The semantic stream of consciousness robs each of
us the experience of the present moment. As my minduses energy to form thoughts, I miss countless turning
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points and monumental discoveries as they unfold in the
present moment.
The moments I spent in 2009 worried whether or
not one person liked me enough, or if I was good enough
or smart enough, or wealthy enough, have all led me to the
experience of what I am seeing today. Not much has
changed really. I left a job to work for a guy who I thought
was a tool. He obviously didn‘t like me, and took every
opportunity to flex his managerial muscles at me.
I left that job and moved to Brazil. I had no money,
and no way to make any. My destiny and security fell
completely in the hands of someone else. Let me tell you,
it‘s not a good spot to be in. I went from feeling worthless
and undervalued to powerless and imprisoned. Every
decision was made for me. Where I went and when, the
time that my bills were paid, and even the times that I
could leave the place I stayed. I went from the pot to the
fire.
In the thick of the moment, it has proven to be
difficult for me to evaluate the situation and change theenergy effectively. I have learned that I need to take time
each day to ―meditate‖, pray, or set my intentions. I must
take time to relax myself and center my mind, or I will
allow the conditions of life dictate the state of my being. I
often act poorly, and catch the lesson only after I‘ve
removed myself from the situation. Too often in my
lifetime, I have acted like a fully grown six year old.
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YOU ARE A VERY BIG SIX YEAR OLD AT BEST
As much as I have, you have lived in a slightlychanging state of being since you were. All of your
experiences have been based on a paradigm that you just
could not let go, and you have recreated a similar state of
being your whole life. The ideas in your head of who you
think you are started all the way back before you were six,
and you haven‘t really made much progress since then.
Today, you may think that you are the boss of a
whole division. But, emotionally you are pretty much still
the little fat kid playing dodge ball; you‘ve just found
really great ways of making yourself appear and feel more
powerful. Most of your actions each day are coming from
the unconscious paradigm, which has varied only slightly
since it was formed.
The feelings of insecurity and lack of worth that I
have been triggered to feel from time to time are not new
to me. They have been coming back full circle since I was
six. A sense of instability, insecurity, and lack of worth
were somehow communicated to me at a very early age.My life has mostly reflected this up to the present moment,
though, I have learned to clear my unconscious paradigm,
and things are beginning to manifest very differently.
Remember, I t’s All About Me and that goes for you too. It’s
all about you.
It is just the natural order of things. Our beliefscreate an energetic vibration which brings us into
situations that challenge those beliefs. At this point, we
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are best served by letting go of and clearing what is being
challenged. Consider the fact that you are absolutely so
much more than what your mind has convinced you. Itdoes not serve you to reinforce your concept of self over
and over again. You and I would certainly do better by
trying to forget who it is we think we are.
Reality is much more peaceful and kind than our
minds and our actions have made it out to be. If we really
want to make a difference in the world we only need to
clear our energetic field of consciousness and allow our
true essence of being freedom of expression. The
expressions of lack, hatred, violence, and negativity are all
the expression of essence as it collects the energy of beliefs
held in the paradigm of mankind.
I have often overcompensated for feeling small and
insecure by verbally, physically, or energetically attacking
other people. This is very common in many people I have
known. We all seem to be stuck on the idea that we must
assert our concept of self in order to be loved and feel
secure. Now, I am fully aware of my habits to attack and
defend. With this awareness comes great responsibility. Ittakes a lot of work and self-reflection to be clear. As I clear
my own paradigm I find fewer reasons to feel attacked and
act less and less from a place of fear.
WE HONOR GOD WITH EACH ACT OF
OBSERVATION
The intent of the human mind is to honor the
essence of all things manifest, both from within and in
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everything we see. Think about how great your life would
be if you really saw and felt God in everything. The mind
is incapable of contemplating the actual full spectrum ofthe essence from which all things manifest (God). There
are no words. It‘s just beyond the mind.
All things manifest vibrate at a frequency that the
mind can conceptualize. The conceptualization of events,
people, and things, describes a particular frequency of the
all-consuming essence that cannot be explained. As the
mind focuses its attention, feelings are often triggered.
The feelings that are triggered are a frequency of the
essence of all things manifest. A feeling held by the mind
long enough will begin the process of manifestation. This
is how we get ourselves stuck on the wheel of Karma. We
pay homage by giving our attention to that which has been
formed, while ignoring that which formed it.
FREQUENCY
Our minds register and are aware of the frequency of the
collective energy that each moment holds. That frequency,
or vibe of the moment, is understood naturally and is
communicated through the body, triggering chemicals to
release into the body. A few nanoseconds later
consciousness has a thought or recognizes a feeling. The
mind can‘t fathom all that is happening in each moment,
so it conceptualizes the information it picks up through
this process. So, what the mind is observing has really
already passed by the time words can form to describe it.
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Life is understood by the unconscious mind
through vibrations. Sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste
are sensory vibrations that produce a chemical response inthe mind and body. The unconscious mind picks up and
holds onto far more of the vibration than gets
contemplated by the conscious mind. We know this as the
sixth sense.
A frequency of wave patterns are picked up by the
senses and something inside us brings us to an
understanding of what is going on around us. We are only
slightly aware of the full spectrum of reality. Light patterns
unseen by our eyes are around every moment we see.
Frequencies of sound caress our eardrums continually and
go unnoticed.
Each of us has a different level of sensory
awareness from which we interpret manifest reality.
Think of a dog‘s hearing or sense of smell and you‘ll get
what I am saying here. The unconscious part of the mind
picks up on the subtle energy beneath the sensory
spectrum of the conscious mind. During the first few
years of development the unconscious is somewhat of ablank slate. Quite possibly some type of paradigm is
inherited through DNA. However, for our purposes here,
let us focus on the paradigm as it is formed and what
happens after.
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A F i n a l N o t e F r o m T i mM c A u l e y r e g a r d i n g t h e
c o n t e n t o f t h i s d o c u m e n t : That’s it folks. These are the pages that had one
reader write to me the following
“Tim, these first 110 pages have given me an entirely new
paradigm to live by, and have changed the course of my life
forever.” Scott Bradley
A few days later Scott also emailed me “this book getsbetter and better. I am so happy we’ve connected at this
time in my life. Thank you for writing this book!”
I hope we’ve connected too.
And I really hope this book has had a similar effect for you
as it has for the people who have already read it. Please
share it with your friends. Help me get this PDF and my
book into the hands of people who would love this message
by pressing the buttons below.
Thank you for taking the time to check out my book. May yourlife be blessed always. ----Tim McAuley
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