it's about time book

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The pr oblem of pr ior i t ies and man aging o ur t ime is especia l ly impo rtant for Christ ians ,

who want their h ours and days to co unt in the service of their Lord. How can we be con -fiden t, amid a list of unfinishe d tasks, that we ar e m aking the m ost o f our tim e? Smiths

boo k tackles this problem h ead-on. He offers solut ions based on h is own exper ience,lessons learn ed from his failures as we ll as suc cesses. A rea dab le style and p rac tical sug-

gestions kee p the p ages turning. Char le s Humm el, author o f T y r a n n y o f t h e U r g en t

Its About Ti me is an excellent tool for those who would like to better organize theirl ives , and an essent ia l tool for those who kno w they need to. Ken Smith has d one a n

excellent job o f integrating Gods Wor d into a m eaningful app lication o f everyday tech-niques that can be u sed again and again.

From the Forewor d by Larry Burk et t

I t gives me great pleasure to recom mend It s Abou t T i me, written b y on e o f God s faith-ful and ch oice servants. Ken Smith has been dedicated to helping others m anage two of their scarce r esources , m oney and t ime, o ver the past several years . I have k nown Ken

for at least eight years an d h ave been imp ressed with h is faithfulness to the Biblical pr in-c iples of mon ey and t ime man agement . The pr inciples presented in this boo k are co n-

sistent with God s Word, po int you to the Savior, an d will resu lt in a m or e effective life

for an yone who p ract ices them. Heart i ly recom mend ed. Ron Blue , author of The Deb t Squeeze an d M a n a g i n g Y ou r M o n e y

Ken Smiths new b oo k Its Abou t Ti medeals with t ime m anagemen t in a su perb wayand n ever m akes a s ta tement that cannot be b acked u p with the Word of God. Read i t !

Ted DeMoss, past President, CBMC of USA

To days soc iety is super time-con scious. And yet no on e, including Christians, seems tohave time to do wh at is nec essary. This book will be a great help to all who want to learn

how to m anage their t ime. Here are the answers all in one p lace!

Herbert E. Ell ingwood , former Special Coun sel to President Ronald Reagan

Having had dynamic life-changing experiences through Ken Smiths seminars, it isindeed r eassur ing to kn ow his pr inciples of l ife m anagemen t are no w available through

his equal ly powerful book , Its Abou t Ti me. Tho usands h ave bene fi ted from his one-on -one teachings in the sem inars ; with this new boo k, mil l ions wil l no w have the o ppo rtu-

nity to d ram atically chan ge the ir lifestyles.

The Honorable Mark D. Si ljander ,form er mem ber of the U.S. House of Representa tives

Ken Smith ha s written a very practical and useful bo ok for guiding Christians in faith-ful stewar dsh ip of Gods m ost p recio us gift to u s, the gift of time .

Alden M. Hathaway, Bisho p, Episcop al Dioce se of Pittsbu rgh


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I highly recom men d Its Abou t Ti me for every Christian. It will be especially helpful tothose experiencing the f rustra tion of disorganization an d o verco mm itmen t , which maybe r obb ing them o f the peace an d joy of the Lord . Ken Smith has pr ovided a blueprint

which, if followed , will lead to a very pr odu ctive and fulfilled life that brin gs hon or andglory to ou r Hea venly Father.

Wilmer Vinegar Bend Mizel l, ba sebal l legend an dform er m emb er o f the U.S. House of Representa tives

In the 31st Psalm David cried out, My times are in Your hands, and indeed, it isthrough the or der ing o f our dai ly act ion s that we uncover His plan for o ur l ives . In ItsA bo u t T i mewe are given a r ich reference to guide us thro ugh the p rocess o f get ting ourlives in or der. This bo ok will be the starting place for m any of an exciting jour ney toward

a life of peace, order, and entrusting the Lord with the time He Himself has given us.

Beverly LaHaye, Presiden t, Con cern ed Wom en for Am erica

For people who want to be more organized, I recommend you keep this book handywith boo km arks in the sect ions on how to say no, punc tuali ty, se t ting goals , making the

crucial to do list, and how to organize both your disgustingly cluttered desk and yourhop eless ly messed-up fi le cabinet . The sect ion on procr ast inat ion is worth the pr ice of

the boo k a lone. I kn ow six people who need this desper ate ly!

Leonar d E. LeSourd, Associa te Pu bl isher , Chosen Books

As one who has been intr igued by a l l aspects of personal t ime management , I amdelighted with this helpful, meaningful, Biblical treatise on using our time in a redemp-

tive, pr o-active mo de. Ken Sm ith is a re cogn ized expe rt in this discipline, and his bo ok s

pract ica l, Scr iptura l suggestion s and pr inciples will be o f great help to a l l whetherbusiness person, profess ional , laborer , homemaker , or s tudent . Here is a book f i l led

with eminently practical suggestions for everyone who wants to honor Christ in everyaspect of life.

Ted W. Engstrom, author and President Emeritus, World Vision

Ken Smith b egins this book with a gr ipping accou nt of how the Lord rescued h im from

alcohol ism and brou ght him into a new l i fe of comm itted obed ience to Chris t . Over theyear s Ken has d evelop ed a splen did self-discipline of the steward ship oftime. This boo kis a strategy and tactics manual beginning with basic principles, then moving to nitty-gr i tty suggestions ab out ho w to p ut an effect ive t ime-managem ent pr ogram into prac-

t ice . Abun dant s tor ies and case s tudies i llus tra te his points . I reco mm end this bo ok for

people serious about improving their time-effectiveness. John W. Alexander, Preside nt Emeritus, Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship

Ken Sm ith r ightly urg es us to see su ccess in term s of obe dience to Jesus Christ. He offersman y pract ica l ideas on ho w we can b e obed ient to the Lord with ou r t ime, whether we

are a homemaker or an execut ive . D oug She r m a n , c oau t ho r o f Yo u r W o r k M a t t e r s t o G o d


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ITSABOUTTIMEKen Smith

CROSSWAY BOOKS WHEATON, ILLINOISA DIVISION OF GOOD NEWS PUBLISHERS


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Its About Time.

Copyright 1992 by Christian Stewardship Ministries (CSM).

Published by Crossway Books, a division of

Good News Publishers, 1300 Crescent Street, Wheaton, Illinois 60187.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by anymeans, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise,without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided byUSA copyright law.

Cover design: Dennis Hill

First printing, 1992

ISBN: 0-89107-666-2

Printed in the United States of America

Unless otherwise noted, all Bible quotations are taken fromHoly Bible:New International Version, copyright 1978 by the New York International Bible

Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

00 99 98 97 96 95 94 93 92

15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


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To my mother Katherine, my wifePat, my sons Ken Jr. and Robbie, and

my cousin Jim. M other prayed meinto the Kingdom, Pat encouraged meto enter (and remain in) full-time min-

istry, Kennie and Ro bbie were my

guinea pigs for many years, a nd Jimprovided the impetus and the meansw ithout w hich this book would not

have been w ritten


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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments ix

Forewordby Larry Burkett xiii

Preface xv

Introduction: From Chaos to Order xix

PART I: THERES NOTHING YOU AND GODTO GETHER CANT D O

1 Obedience: The Key to Fulfillment 33

2 The Importance of Dai ly Time with G od 45

3 G od H as a Pla n for Your Life 57

PART II: PLAN AHEAD: BECOME ORGANIZED

4 Planning: An Essential Ingredient of Success 73

5 A Schedule: The Key to Making the Day Flow Smoothly 87

6 A Look at Some Typical Schedules 113

7 H ow t o Brea k Free fro m O vercommitment 131

8 Organizing the Home143

PART III: GETT ING YOUR PRIORITIES IN O RDER

9 Whats Importa nt in Your Life? 157

10 Finding Time for Yourself and Your Family 163

11 Looking a t Your Job and Your Min ist ry 177

PART IV: PUTTING IT TOGETHER ON A DAILY BASIS

12 D ea ling with Interruptions 193

13 Improving Your Life Through Self-discipline and

Accountability 203

14 Lookin g Fa r int o th e Fut ur e 219

15 The Jo urney Begins! 229

Forms for Personal Use 239

Index 251


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LIST OF CHARTS

Figure 1: Procrastination Worksheet 60

Figure 2: Things to Do Today 80

Figure 3: Things to Do This Week 81

Figure 4: M ajor Activities 95

Figure 5: Anchor Activities Schedule 100

Figure 6: Dividing the Day 105

Figure 7: Major Activities Schedule 106

Figure 8: Typical ScheduleHusband 116

Figure 9: Typical ScheduleWife in the Home with Small

Children (One Under 6) 120

Figure 10: Typical ScheduleCollege Student 123

Figure 11: Typical ScheduleSingle Parent/Working Spouse

with Children 126

Figure 12: Typica l ScheduleShift-w orker 128

Figure 13: Current C ommitments & Activities Inventory 140

Figure 14: Proposed Commitments & Activities Inventory 141

Figure 15: Revised Commitments & Activities Inventory142

Figure 16: New Commitments 212

Form 1: Personal Procrastinat ion Worksheet 240

Form 2: Things to Do Today 241

Form 3: Things to Do This Week 242

Form 4: Major Activities 243

Form 5: Anchor Activities Schedule 243

Form 6: D ividing the Day 244

Form 7: Major Activities Schedule 244

Form 8: Current Commitments & Activities Inventory 245

Form 9: P roposed C ommitments & Activities Inventory 246

Form 10: Revised Commitments & Activities Inventory 247Form 11: New Commitments 248

Form 11: D aily Schedule 249


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ix

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

My heartfelt thanks goes out to the following men and women,

without whose encouragement, loyalty, and wisdom this book

w ould ha ve never become a reality. When you try to tha nk every-

one, the absence of some names is painfully obvious to whoever is omitted.

If your name should have been included here and it w asnt , please fo rgive me

and please let me know. Ill find a w ay t o make it up somehow.

First, I w ould like to thank the present and pa st members of the Christia n

Stewardship Ministries Board of D irectors. N ot only ha ve these friends been

responsible for the policy a nd d irection of CSM , but they have been a source

of t remendous strength and encouragement to me personally thro ughout the

years this book has been on the drawing board .

Present Boa rd members are M ark Brehm, C hris Call, Steve Craven, Bar t

Fleming, Steve Gaskins, John Keith, Bill Peterman and Edie Rittinger.

Past B oard members are Ed Prichard, Frank D eierhoi, D avid Jones, Jerry

Tiahrt, Carl Meyer, David Barnett, and Jim McIlvaine.

The distinguished, dedicated, and godly men who have served on theCSM Board of Reference also deserve a very special thank you. They are

John Alexa nder, Bill Bright, La rry Burkett, (who not o nly offered to w rite the

Foreword but has been a friend and encourager from the beginning), Reid

C a r p e n t e r, H erb Ellingw oo d, Ted Engstro m, D ick H alverson, Alden

H athaway, C harlie Hummel, and M ark Siljand er.

The follow ing friends of mine serve on the ministrys Advisory Council

and have provided valuable insight into the overall direction of the ministry.

To t hem, too, goes my deepest tha nks and appreciation: Chuck Annis, R on

Boehme, Sandy Bow en, Da ve Boyd, Ed Br itton, Vince Buchinsky, Andy Buist,

Frank C erutti, Tom C lark, M argy C leaver, M ary Ann Co chran, Armand

D auplaise, D an D errick, Amos D odge, Jim Eckhardt , Jon Elliott, Bill Findler,Beth Fleming, Frank Foley, Dick Franklin, Joe G rieco, Bud H arper, Larry

H offman, Ron Jenkins, Ed and Libby Koepenick, Len Larson, Frank

Lewa rk, Glenn and Arlene M cG ee, Tony M cG raw, G ene M cG uire, G erry


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x

M oore, Bob Mulligan, John Mumford, Roger Penn, Burton Pierce, Mike

Riley, Dick Schwaab, Bruce Scott, John Sellers, Jay Schabacker, Mark

Siljander, Katherine Smith, Pat Smith, Steve Skancke, Linda Spruill, Steve

Templeton, Jerry Tiahrt, John Viccellio, John Vogt, Tom Wa rtha, Brenda

Wilberger, C harlot te Wiles, M ike Woodruff, Da vid Yeakel and R ay Z ook.

I wo uld also like to tha nk the follow ing men and w omen who ha ve

w aged w ar in the heavenlies for the ministry and for the completion of this

book. They are the members of the CSM Intercessors Ministry. Their faith-

ful prayer support has meant more than any of them could know, and my

love and thanks go to each of them: Georgenne Assur, Eric Assur, Roy

Benson, Sharon Boo ts, Ma rjorie Bottorff, Margaret C leaver, Pat Da lzell, Da n

D errick, Ted Farmer, Debbie Farmer, Susan G ladw in, Helen Ha milton, Bud

Hancock, Phil Herrell, Rob Huey, Josey Ingley, Marilyn Kirk, GordonKlooster (my friend and confidant), Roberta Klooster, Lydia Lopez, John

M cKendree, Na ncy McKendree, Vickie M cNama ra, Ed ward Mullins, La urie

Porter, Marilyn Schw ankoff , G ig Settle, Annette Settle, Becky Shamess, Bob

Shamess, Pat Smith, K atherine Smith, Tamy Smith, Scott Smith, Bill Spengler,

Malachy Vance and Lester York.

I would also like to thank the following friends who contributed their

time and expertise to help improve the manuscript in all of its many shapes

and sizes: John Alexander, Chuck Annis, David Barnett, Ivy Barnett, Ron

Boehme, C hris Call (who se wif e Callie proved t o be a w onderful model), D an

D errick, Amos D odge, Ted Engstro m, Lou Enoff , Ted Farmer, Bart Fleming

(who provided especially helpful suggestions on content), Steve and JanGaskins, John Guernsey, Tom Hall, Velett a H all, D avid H arper, C harlie

H ummel (w hose booklet Tyranny of the Urgentw as very meaningful to me

as a young Christian), Ron Jenkins, John Keith (whose good judgment has

made the difference numerous times), Joe Kitts, J. C. Lasmanis, Sandy

Lesourd, Len Lesourd (w ho served a s an encourager and an expert advisor

t h rougho ut each sta ge of the ma nuscript), Sheila M acP herson, Jim

M cIlvaine, Mike Mintor, Ka thie Nee (w ho devoted many long hours to edi-

torial w ork), Bruce Newell (w ho has been my friend and confid ant fo r many

years), Dick ODriscoll, Bill Peterman, Suzanne Peyser, Edie Rittinger,

Katherine Smith, Pat Smith, Linda Spruill, Jerry Tiahrt (who also con-

tributed grea tly to the seminars tha t preceded this work), John Viccellio, SallyVogt and J ohn Yates.

The follow ing men and w omen provided fi nancial assista nce which has

made this boo k a reality: Vince Buchinsky, C hris and C allie Call, Steve and

ITS ABO UT TIM E


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xi

G aye Cra ven, Armand a nd Linda D auplaise, Bart a nd Beth Fleming, Bud and

Jill Harper, Earnie and Jan Heatwole, Bob and April Kelly, Joe Kitts, Don

McIlvaine, Jim and Mary McIlvaine, Carl and Kay Meyer, Bruce Newell,

Milt Peterson, Bruce and Barbara Reyle, Gary and Robin Rockwell, Jay

Schabacher, D ick and Lynn Schwaa b, M ark and Na ncy Siljand er, Steve and

Nancy Skancke, Steve Templeton, and Bob and Mary Landon Walton. In

addition, my home congregation, Truro Episcopal Church, has provided

significant mission and o utreach support for b oth the boo k and the ministry

behind the book.

A special nod of appreciation must go to the following men who have

provided computer support for the ministry and have enabled me to move

from a yellow pad a nd pencil to becoming an a ccomplished w ord processor

even though I am still baffled by bytes, rom, ram and DOS: my stepsonBrett Ames, Chuck Annis, Ken Harshbarger, Les Kent, Ivan Penkoff, Rick

Rump and Doug Stites.

M y thanks also to the follow ing ladies, w ho slaved to co nvert hand-w rit-

ten radio scripts into typewritten texts, which in turn formed the basis for

much of this book: Consuelo Moreno, Jan Jennings, Linda Rump, Clarissa

Teves and Ellen Tyson.

Also, thank you to Bobbi Johnson, Jean Moore, Kelly Peren, and

Suzanne Billman, who kept the ministry s mailing list and contributions

flow ing wh ile Linda a nd I struggled to keep the rest of the ship afl oa t.

Thanks also to t w o individuals w ho contributed to this manuscript in

significant ways. Sybil Harp was the first writer to begin to articulate thethings Go d w as show ing me in a way to w hich others could relate. She wrote

the workbook that we still use as a time management seminar text. David

H azard broke ground by getting me star ted on t his project a nd introducing

me to someone who could help me see it through to completion.

This third person in the furnace has become one of my closest bro thers

in the Lord and is a writers writer. David Wimbish produced not one, but

tw o full boo k manuscripts in the course of this project. N ot once did he com-

plain or become defensive as his work w as criticized, critiqued, rejected and

fi nally praised. Thank yo u, D avid, for a job w ell done in the midst of great

personal trauma and challenge. My prayers continue to be with you and

D iane.I must say tha nk you too to a very special person, Linda Spruill. In the

dark days of 1988, when it looked as if Christian Stewardship Ministries

would close its doors, one person stood in the gap and that was Linda.

ACKNOWLEDG M ENTS


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xii

She offered to be a sta ff of one to handle seminars, counseling coordination,

the newsletter, d onor development, material sales, and administrat ion. She

persisted, G od pro vided, a nd C SM survived. This book is a product of that

survival. Thank you, Linda .

I also w ant to express my gratitude and affection for Ted Engstrom,

w hose copyright philosophy is copy it right. H is book w ith Ed D ayton,

Strategy for Living, formed much of the basis for my fi rst time management

seminar. Much of the material in this book grew out of that process, and I

am grat eful to Ted for his mentoring.

M y deepest thanks and a ppreciation also go out to the man w ho ha s car-

ried me the many miles that represent my w ritten contribution to this book.

That ma n is John Vogt, the president a nd genera l mana ger o f WCTN radio

in Potoma c, M aryland . John a nd his staff (especially Ivan Penkoff and JimmyPeck) have produced for me, free of cha rge except that of love, a lmost tw o

hundred daily radio broadcasts since October 3, 1988. John and his wife

Sally are extra ord inary people in their commitment to Christ, to each other,

and to G od s wo rk through them. Without Johns encouragement and com-

mitment t here w ould have been nothing upon w hich to ba se this book.

ITS ABO UT TIM E


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xiii

FOREWORD

by Larry Burkett

Ihave known Ken Smith for nearly t en years now. O ne of the fi rst impres-

sions I had of Ken w hen he volunteered to organize and host one of o urseminars on Biblical finances in the Washington, D.C., area was that of

a highly organized person. I have learned over the years of teaching confer-

ences that often the success of a conference is directly related to the org a-

nizers personal habits. Too often people volunteer out of a sincere but

misguided emotional attraction to a particular topic that benefited them in

their spiritual w alk. But the rigor o f organizing other w orkers, making myr-

iads of telephone calls, a nd countless hours of committee wo rk usually burns

them out. As a result most never attempt the task tw ice. In Kens case w hat

impressed me w as tha t he immedia tely volunteered to orga nize a second,

even larger conference. H is organization plan w as ad opted by ot her volun-

teers around t he country a nd greatly a ided t he ministry of C hristian FinancialC oncepts in the early grow th period.

It is with this introduction tha t I heartily endorse Ken as an expert in the

area of organizat ion and time management. Perhaps nothing in our drive-

through society is more lacking tha n effective orga nization. I a m reminded

of w hat I heard one of my college professors say o nce: We all have the same

number of hours per day, w hether w e are the President of the United Sta tes

or a n inmate in a penitentiary. It is not the amount of time that is the issue.

It is the wa y you use it.

I have tried to remember that when I feel frazzled and hurried by my

schedule. Kens book Its About Time is an excellent tool for those who

w ould like to b etter organize their lives, and an essential to ol for those whoknow they need to . Ken has done an excellent job of integra ting G ods Word

into a meaningful application of everyday t echniques that can be used again

and again.


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xiv

The one caution that I would give any reader is the tendency to pro-

crastinate, even w hen reading a book on orga nizing. The Apostle James told

us that we should be effectual doers of the Word, not merely hearers. I trust

that you w ill apply the principles taught b y Ken Smith in this excellent b ook.

ITS ABOUT TIM E


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xv

PREFACE

When I began to seriously a ddress the question of w hether ano ther

book w ould add anything to the billions of w ords already w rit-

ten on every conceivable subject under the sun, I must confess

that I felt very inadequate. On the one hand, I felt that God wanted me to

w rite this boo k. I procrastinated a nd ra tionalized for years because I neitherfelt eq uipped to w rite a book, nor could I imagine that I had any thing to add

to a subject a s familiar to all of us as that o f time management and personal

organization . No t tha t lots of people didnt have plenty to learn on the sub-

ject but how could I contribute anything tha t ha d not already been devel-

oped in the past?

But the longer I put it off, the more convicted I became that it re ally

wasnt a q uestion of whether I had anyt hing to add o r whether anyone would

learn from w hat I ha d to say. The q uestion was: Is G od telling me to w rite

this book? If H e wa s, then I had to get on w ith the job o r else be willing to

suffer the consequences.

I can tell you w ithout fear of a ny skeptical response that G od to ld me tow rite this book. Whether it is for your benefi t, o nly you ca n judge. For me,

it was and is an exercise in obedience. And when all else is said and done,

thats exactly w hat t his boo k is all about: obedience. For w hat ever reason,

G od too k a law yer and decided to make him a w riter. O r maybe he too k a

w riter and let him practice law for a w hile.

The things you w ill read and the examples I w ill share w ith you are all

real, either from my o w n life or from the lives of o thers. M any o f the things

I have learned ha ve come through great pa in. My life has not been easy, but

it certainly has been blessed. I dont think for a minute that I have suff ered

unduly or that the pain I ha ve experienced has been greater tha n the pain a ny

one of you has experienced. And the final result of the pain in my life hascertainly been great joy a nd fulfi llment.

You see, the thing tha t mo tivates me even more than my love for G od is

my fear of H im. Not t hat I see G od a s a great big meanie in the sky, looking


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xvi

for w ays to ma ke me suffer. O n the contrary, I see Him as a loving G od cheer-

ing for me to succeed in everything I attempt. But I have learned the hard

w ay t hat G od has a plan for m y life, and w hen I act in a fashion that is incon-

sistent w ith tha t plan, it can become very painful.

The bo ttom line is ob edience.

Now, G ods plan for my life is too big for me to comprehend. If I try, I

am q uickly overw helmed. But w hat I ca n do is learn the principles tha t dic-

ta te how H e w ants me to wa lk each da y. O nce I know those principles, then

its simply a matter of applying them. When I do apply them, Im being obe-

dient and w ill receive the rewards G od gives to tho se w ho obey H im. When

I do not live by G od s plan, I am being disobedient a nd w ill suffer the con-

sequences.

The ultimate reward for obedience on this side of eternity is what theBible calls the peace . . . w hich tra nscends all understanding (Philippians

4:7). I call it freedo m from a nxiety. Im not going to t ell you that I w ill face

everything in the future without anxiety, but I can tell you tha t since I began

to identify a nd practice the things this book is all about, I have been totally

free from a nxiety and that has b een more than fi fteen years. This comes

from a person who once thought he had a n obligation to w orry, and if I had

nothing else to worry about, Id worry that there was nothing to worry

about.

The reason for the change is that I ha ve developed a n a ttitude of obedi-

ence. That s not to say I am a lways obedient, but rather that I have w ithin

me a deep desire to be obedient. When I am consciously disobedient, or d is-cover af ter the fact that I have been disobedient, I a ct as q uickly as I can t o

overcome that a rea of d isobedience. And it is that desire, tha t at titude, tha t

has protected me from the pain of a nxiety.

Will you join me today? Will you purpose to develop an attitude of obe-

dience to G od as you read t his boo k? Decide that you w ill uncover areas of

your life which have not b een submitted to G od, a nd ask H im to show you

how to become obedient in those areas. If you ask G od to give you the desire

to become an obedient person, you can be sure that He will do it. The

Scripture that G od gave me as a new Christian to mot ivate me to major in

obedience wa s M atthew 13:1-23, the Para ble of the Sower. I determined that

I w ould strive to multiply a hundredfold, a nd I realized that the only w ay todo that w as to become committed to becoming obedient.

As you and I learn the things that will produce in us a lifestyle of obedi-

ence to God, we can begin to make an impact on those around us. In my

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xvii

experience, there are not many people to da y w ho ha ve the att itude that w ill

prod uce a lifestyle of obedience. And until the Body of C hrist recognizes this

need a s paramo unt to everything else, the mission o f the C hurch will not be

fulfilled. We canno t effectively go to Judea and to Samaria and to the utter-

most parts of the earth to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ until we, the

C hurch, have acquired the ability to be obedient. And we will not acquire

that a bility without a commitment to do so.

Before we move on, let me say that it is extremely important that you

put into practice the things we are going to talk about in this book.

Knowledge without application breeds frustration. For that reason, I have

included exercises where appropriate to help you follow through on the

things you learn. It is my hope that yo u w ill not on ly read t his bo ok, but tha t

you w ill continue to use it as a to ol.You can only apply so much know ledge at a ny one time. So if you w ill

take one or two of my suggestions the first time around and master them,

you are much more likely to return for additional suggestions. If you permit

yourself to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task the first time

around, yo u are likely to become discouraged and fa il to a pply anything.

But begin the process now with the realization that you can add more

and more until your life is a model of ord er, peace and, most importantly,

obedience.

PREFACE


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xix

INTRODUCTION

From Chaos to Order

You are abo ut to embark on a n exciting journey a journey to w ard

success and fulfillment in life. I know because its a journey that Ihave taken myself.

Every once in a w hile I counsel someone who seems to think I couldnt

possibly understand a disorga nized life. Its easy for yo u, hell say. Youve

alw ays had your a ct to gether! But my life is such a mess well, its a com-

pletely d ifferent story!

Despite that opinion, the truth is, my life hasnt alw ays been one of order

and control.

Quite the contra ry.

In fact, when it comes to disorder and chaos, if I hadnt once been there

myself, I doubt that I w ould try to suggest to anyone else how to overcome it.

I suspect tha t if those counselees had know n me ba ck then, their atti-tude might be, If he could get his life together, so can I. Thats why I think

its important for you to know something of my background and how

Christian Stew ard ship M inistries came into existence.

It a ll goes back to Washington, D .C . a heady place for a fi fteen-year-

old boy entering C apitol Pa ge School. I w as excited to be one of the elite few

w ho run errands fo r United States Co ngressmen. I w as meeting fam ous peo-

ple the movers and the shakers that others only read a bout in newspapers.

D elivering messages through those polished ha lls gave me a sense of self-

worth Id never felt at home. I w as accepted here. They considered me w or-

thy of a ttention and respect. It w as so different from my home, w here things

seemed to go w rong much of the time. Everyone seemed on edge there, snap-ping and sniping a t each o ther. The norma l noise my little brot hers made only

add ed to the tension a nd confusion I felt. But it w as different here, a nd I felt

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But even tho ugh home w as, f or me, an increasingly unpleasant place, I

w as still shocked and depressed w hen my parents separa ted. Looking ba ck,I know I should ha ve seen it coming. But a s much as they fought a nd a rgued,

they were still my mother and f ather and w ith the breakup of their ma r-

riage, the only root s Id ever known w ere gone. All I had left w as my posi-

tion as a Page.

Feeling like a lost soul, I mo ved into a rooming ho use, not realizing that

I w ould never live at home aga in.

NOT-SO-INNOCENT BEGINNINGS

One night I w ent out w ith some other Pages and got drunk. It w as a w on-

derful experience. When the alcohol began to take effect, I felt giddy and

laughed as I ha dnt la ughed f or years. D rinking also made me feel grown-up

and in charge. I knew right away that drinking was something I was going

to be doing often.

And I did.

At first it didnt ta ke much to knock me for a loop, but gradually it took

more and more. I didnt mind, though. Things were going well for me. I

achieved the highest possible position, serving as the Speakers Page under

Sam Rayburn. I reasoned that the drinking hadnt interfered w ith my Page

duties; it just helped me shut out the gna w ing sense of loneliness that w elled

up in me at night.

There wa s one area w here my drinking did hurt me, how ever, and tha tw as in the area of my grad es. By the end o f my junior year they w ere so low

I knew tha t if I didnt do something fa st I might never get into college.

So I enrolled in the Bolles School, a military prep school in Jacksonville,

Florida. The disciplined atmosphere there left me no opportunity to drink,

and it did w onders for my grad es, w hich shot up high enough to get me schol-

arship offers from a number of colleges. I chose the college that offered the

highest scholarship w hich also happened to be my mothers and my uncles

alma mater, Tulane University in New Orleans.

By now my mother w as trying to provide for my tw o brot hers essentially

by herself, and I knew tha t the least I could do to help her w as to keep my

expenses to a minimum. I didnt know how she alw ays ma naged to pa y herbills, but somehow she did. What made that fact even more astounding to

me was the knowledge that she insisted on giving 10 percent of her income

to the Lord.

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That didnt ma ke much sense to me since I didnt ha ve much use for

anything religious in my life at the time but my mother simply would not

have it any other wa y. One tenth of her income belonged to t he Lord, a nd it

w as alw ays the fi rst tenth.

As for me, I enjoyed the college life particularly the part ies. Yet grad -

ually I came to see that many of the other guys didnt drink a s much as I did.

No r did they drink in the same way I dra nk. I drank before a party to loosen

up. M ost of them didnt. I had to ha ve some alcohol in me in order to ha ve

a good time. Most of them seemed to be able to have fun even when there

wasnt anything to drink. I began to w onder if perhaps there was something

different about me, something wrong.

When those kinds of thoughts came to me, I did m y best to push them

out of my head. I didnt want to worry. I just wanted to drift through myclasses, doing the minimum amount required to ma intain my scholarship.

During my last year of college, I got married. Alba was a nice Catholic

girl w ho loved me very much. The priest said Id have to agree to r aise our

children as C atholics. I quickly agreed because it d idnt mat ter much to me

one way or another.

At the time of my marriage I was a midshipman in the Naval Reserve

Officers Training Corps and one of the conditions of that program was

tha t I w ould remain single until after receiving my co mmission, w hich wo uld

not occur for anot her nine months. But I wa s young and in love, and I rat io-

nalized that w hat the RO TC brass didnt know w asnt going to hurt them

or me either, for that matter.Besides, no one had to find out.

Unfortunately, however, one da y, a bout six months after my w edd ing, I

w as called into a meeting by the executive offi cer. It seems tha t someone had

written a letter, alleging that several of the midshipmen were marr ied.

I stood there listening to him, trying to appear as nonchalant as possi-

ble, as if what he was talking about didnt apply to me.

But it didnt w ork, and he fi nally asked me point blank, Is it true? Are

you married?

No, sir, Im not, I lied.

H e said he w as relieved to hear it and told me I was free to go.

As I w alked out int o the sunlight, I w as relieved that he had believed me.But by the time I got home I knew it was never going to work. I had to go

ba ck and a dmit the truth, even though I knew it w ould mean the end of my

naval career something I had d reamed about f or years.

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xxii

I retraced my steps and admitted to the executive officer that I had lied

to him. The truth was that, yes, I was marr ied.

I never returned to the Navy building.

I w as a bsolutely crushed. Since the age of thirteen I ha d a lw ays assumed

I would have a career in the Navy. I had even appeared on a Navy re cruit-

ing poster when I was in high school and had a utographed photographs from

admira ls and command ing officers wishing me w ell.

All of my aspirations were tied up with the Na vy, and now that option

w as no longer ava ilab le to me. I w ould have to d o something else w ith my

life.

I decided to enroll in law school. Even though I w as hurt b y my dismissal

from Na vy RO TC , I had to a dmit tha t I enjoyed married life. It w as nice to

have someone to come home to, and Alba didnt even complain about mydrinking. We had tw o children while I w as in school, and by the time my sec-

ond son w as born I didnt spend much time at ho me. I had to w ork and study.

And if I wa snt doing one of those things, I wa s usually drinking.

Somehow I managed to make it through law school and graduate in the

middle of my class. I then returned to northern Virginia to begin my legal

career. Only one more obstacle loomed ahead of me. I had to pass the

Virginia Bar Exam. In those days bar exams werent standardized, a nd the

percentage of those who passed the first time around was very low less

than 50 percent.

I studied ha rder than I had ever studied in my life. I w as running scared

because I didnt have the time or the money to aff ord not to pass the firsttime. Alba ha d confi dence that I wo uld pass, but the more I studied, the more

discouraged I became. There w as just so much to learn a nd so much infor-

mation to digest and if I failed the exam, I had no idea what I would do

to t ake care of my family.

Finally I decided I would call on G od . That w as an unusual step for me

to ta ke because at tha t point in my life I w asnt even sure there w as a G od.

Or if there w as, I w asnt convinced tha t H e cared about me at all. But some-

how my Christian upbringing had developed w ithin me the attitude that G od

is the best person to turn to in times of tro uble. My mother had a lways ta ken

her sons to church, and I had been baptized and confirmed in a mainline

denomination. Up until my entry into Page School, I had believed in God,read the Bible on occasion, and was active as an acolyte. After my parents

separat ed and I began life on my ow n, I quickly forgot that tr aining and ha d

even come to the point in college where I had deba ted the existence of G od.

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xxiii

Nonetheless, I did t urn to G od and in a n attempt to ba rgain with H im

said that if He w ould help me pass the ba r exa m I w ould go ba ck to churchand att end regularly for the rest of my life.

Ill never forget Albas shriek the day we got the postcard telling us that

I had passed the exam. G od had come through for me. Now it w as my turn

to uphold my end of the bargain.

Alba w as not very interested in church, but I t ook the boys w ith me and

attended her church, faithful to my vow that the boys would be raised as

C atholics.

A SUCCESSFUL FAILURE

Soon my life wa s full of important matters. I w as an up-and-coming att or-

ney w ith valua ble political experience. I became president of the loca l Lions

C lub and held the same offi ce with the Young Democrat s. I managed polit-

ical campaigns, served as a substitute judge, and began working as an

Assistant County Attorney for Fairfax County in Northern Virginia.

To a nyone looking in from the outside, I had it mad e. I was on the wa y

to becoming a success by all the w orlds standards.

Yet something was missing. I didnt spend as much time at home; that

same atmosphere of tension was there just as Id remembered as a boy.

My children represented responsibility I w asnt w illing to assume. I w asnt

really focused on my boys or my wife. It was like we were all strangers.

Finally Alba decided she had had enough of Mr. Success. She packed up thekids and headed for Atlanta. My ma rriage, like my earlier nava l career, w as

over.

In a w ay it seemed like a relief. I could finally be a young, successful sin-

gle att orney and live the w ay I w anted to live. Best of all, I still had my faith-

ful friend the bot tle. Life seemed good a t fi rst. I went wherever I w anted

w ith w homever I w anted and did w hatever I w anted. I also dra nk wha tever

I wanted. I had plenty of time for Mr. Budweiser and Jack Daniels, as well

as for various social and civic organizations, but one thing I gradually had

less time for w as church.

By 1974, nine years after I had made that vow to attend church for the

rest of my life, I stopped attending. It wasnt that I intended to stop. I wasjust having so much fun that I fo rgot to go. It w asnt until I looked back lat er

that I even realized I had stopped going. I had long since lost sight of my vow.

I had come to view my church attendance as more of a habit than as the

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xxiv

fulfilling of a promise to God, and when I broke the habit I didnt realize I

w as also breaking a vow.

LIFE AT THE BOTTOM

It wasnt long before things began to really fall apart, as I began to drink

more and more. I became less and less responsible, and, as a result my life

became a lmost meaningless. A deep depression sett led over me. There w as

no joy in anything I tried to do. It was as if all the sadness in the world lay

just beneath the surface of my life. The depression caused me to have

diffi culty breathing, and it w as to be more than fourteen months before I wa s

actua lly a ble to take a d eep breath. I literally gasped my w ay th rough those

months, feeling tha t at any moment I could run out of air and suffocate.

Soon tho se clubs and orga nizations tha t ha d once seemed so important

to me began to lose their appeal. G radua lly I lost interest in them as I found

myself spending more and mo re time drinking. When I wasnt drinking, I w as

either anticipating my next drink or getting over the effects of the last one.

My life consisted of going to w ork, coming home, drinking until I went

to bed, a nd then getting up to go to w ork a gain. I even stopped eat ing regu-

larly. By the end o f tha t f ourteen-month period of depression, my w eight ha d

dropped to 119 pounds (I now weigh in at 160). I knew I was headed for

destruction, but t here wa s nothing at all I could do to stop the dow nw ard

spiral. The alcoho l fueled the depression, the depression led me to seek obliv-

ion in drinking, and so it w ent.Part of me knew that the alcohol didnt really help and that what I

thought of as a friend was in reality a deadly enemy. Gradually it began to

da w n on me that I w as an alcoholic, but at least I prided myself on the idea

that I w as a functional alcoholic. M y drinking hadnt seemed to hurt my

career.

Several times I tried to go w ithout drinking for a few da ys, but the drive

inside me wouldnt let me stop and eventually my law practice did begin

to suffer.

I argued with myself constantly, attempting to rationalize my behavior

and making excuses for my excesses. But before too long I was forced to

admit tha t things were wo rse than Id let myself believe.For one thing, I simply could not keep a secretary. Because of my lack of

organization in my practice, I w ent through a long succession of them. I

began at tracting few er new clients, too . The wo rst thing wa s, the fewer

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xxv

clients I had, the more time I had on my hands, and that meant more time

to spend drinking.Finally I came to the conclusion tha t the only w ay o ut w as death. I seri-

ously began considering various w ays o f ta king my life. The only thing tha t

kept me from ca rrying tha t out w as that I couldnt decide on a socially accept-

ab le w ay of killing myself.

Yet, a s I w as going thro ugh this alcoho l- and depression-induced hell,

something else was happening to me.

Through the fog of despair, a tiny light wa s shining. M ayb e it w as G od.

Ma ybe He had a n answer for me.

So in search of His answer I went to some Christian businessmens fel-

low ships and even attended a couple of prayer gro ups. The men I met seemed

friendly enough, but I w as w orried t hat they could see through my smilingdisguise and knew that I didnt really belong w ith such spiritual people.

Perha ps they could see how tota lly dark my life had become.

Maybe they could see through me. But if they did, they didnt let me

know. They accepted me as their friend and brother. But even tho ugh I was

appreciative, the pain deep down in my soul didnt lessen.

Maybe I should try to d iscover w ho God is, I thought.Maybe thatll do

it.

So I prayed to accept J esus as my Lord a nd Savior, hoping for a brilliant

flash of light that w ould lift this terrible darkness and fi ll me w ith the joy a nd

peace these new Christian friends of mine were always ta lking a bout.

But not hing of the sort ha ppened. I didnt feel a thing, and I knew I was

the same old person. I really did wan t Jesus to rescue me, but I knew I w as

still a slave to a lcohol. I wa nted Him to be my Savior, but I knew tha t w hen-

ever I felt do w n and depressed I turned to a lcohol, not t o Jesus.

The despair seemed deeper than ever, so I asked my Christian friends

w hat I should do, a nd they all said the same thing: Read the Bible and pray.

The only problem w ith tha t w as tha t every time I tried to read the Bible

I found it boring and hard to understand. As a lawyer I was used to reading

contract s conta ining the most complex a nd obt use language. But for me the

King James Version of the Bible w as much harder to comprehend.

THE TURNING POINT

Then, just before Lent, I w andered into a mainline denominational church

and sat in the back pew. The young priest was preaching about giving up

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xxvi

something for Lent. The thing he chose to give up did not say much for his

spiritual condition, but it hit too close to home it w as scotch and w ater

at cocktail parties. I could almost taste the smoky coldness of the scotch.

Unconsciously I licked my lips and then looked around quickly to see if

anyone had noticed.

No one had, apparently, but I still felt a deep uncomfo rta bleness like

a loving sadness. I knew G od w as dealing w ith me abo ut my drinking.

Will you give it up for Lent? H e seemed to a sk. But I knew I couldnt,

despite all the times Id tried.

But then I remembered one other time in my life w hen I had a sked G od

for a favor made a ba rgain with H im even and H e had come through

for me. I knew it ha d been His help tha t ha d enabled me to pass the Virginia

Bar Exa m on my fi rst try. Perhaps H e wo uld help me this time too . If Youll help me stop drinking during Lent, I prayed silently, Ill do

all I can to help You help me.

The result was immediate and overwhelming. A great sense of relief

flo oded through me. Tears w elled up in my eyes and poured dow n my fa ce.

I couldnt stop them. I knew beyond any doubt that God had heard my

prayer, and I felt sure that He was going to help me. For the first time in a

very long time I had some hope. Despite the new strength I felt, I w as q uite

embarrassed by my unexpected and uncharacteristic show of emotion. I

sneaked out of the church as soon as the service was over, still not sure

exactly w hat w as going to happen.

The first w eek after that drama tic experience I freq uently tho ught ab outpopping open a can o f beer. But w hen I really thought about it, I realized that

I didnt need to do that anymore. I thought about drinking only because it

w as a long-time hab it of mine. But t he deep-dow n need for a drink, the over-

w helming desire, ha d been ta ken aw ay from me. Just like tha t.

By the middle of the second w eek, I w as no longer even thinking about

drinking anything stronger than coffee or b lack cherry sodas.

After that, many other doors opened. No longer was the Bible so con-

fusing. It actually became a lamp to my feet and a light for my path (Psalm

119:105). A hunger and thirst for righteousness began to grow in me. I

started using the Word of G od to fi ll the long hours I had once spent drink-

ing. Id rise early in the morning to spend time reading the Bible, come homefrom work and lunchtime to read it, and stay up late at night reading.

I am no expert on the subject of supernatural healing, but I do know that

without Gods miraculous intervention I would be lying in a gutter some-

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where right now or perhaps be dead fro m an alcohol-related a ccident, dis-

ease, or suicide.I have come to believe that the things we consider to be supernatural or

miraculous are really quite consistent w ith G ods Law s. Its just tha t w e have

not and never will discover or understand all of the Laws under which the

universe operates. We all see certain th ings happen tha t w e cant explain.

Some of us can easily att ribute them to G od w ithout feeling the need to

understa nd the explana tion, w hereas others are reluctant t o at tribute things

to G od a t a ll. Unsaved do ctors are known t o acknow ledge that things hap-

pen w hich they canno t explain, but refuse to a cknow ledge G od as the source

of such occurrences.

What adds to t he magnitude of w hat G od did for me is that a lcoholism

is deeply imbedded in my family tree, on both the paternal and maternalbranches. I knew before I ever took my first drink that I was playing with

fire. D rinking wa s a temptation and a sin into w hich Satan w as ab le to eas-

ily lure me and I believe that there was no escape for me except thro ugh

the blood and the power of Jesus Christ.

I also believe that even though G od delivered me from the desire to drink,

it w ould be possible for me to become ta ngled in the same trap a ll over aga in.

I am still an alcoholic, but I am an alcoholic who does not drink, one who

sees no reason to tempt myself, or the Lord, by consuming alcohol. The

Lord s Prayer says, lead us not into temptation, and even though I do not

have a compulsion to drink, I plan to stay a s far aw ay from that potential

temptation as possible.

LIGHT IN OTHER CORNERS

Once Go d ha d dealt w ith my drinking problem, H e began to deal with me

in other areas of my life too. One day as I sat in my office wondering what

I could do to reestab lish my interest in life, I b egan t o realize that the Lord

wanted me to make some changes in my way of doing things. Eventually,

thanks to His leading, bit by bit, my chaotic and disorganized life became

orderly.

I learned how to use my time in w ays tha t reflected G ods well-ordered

universe. Each new d iscovery I made about G ods wa ys of do ing things leftme hungry to learn mo re.

Then I heard a bout a w ay to a pply Go ds principles to the mana gement

of my finances. At my mothers urging I attended a Christian money man-

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xxviii

agement seminar, and the Bible-based principles I heard there captured my

attention and my imagination.

I began budgeting my money and a rranging my fi nances to eliminat e all

of my personal debt.

I had already begun tithing, so I reduced my expenditures to allow for

increasing my o fferings to t he Lord.

I began to sha re w hat Id learned with ot hers, and soon C hristian friends

and acquaintances were asking me to share with them the principles of

Christian money management. Finally there were so many interested people

that I arranged to teach a seminar where I could tell all of them about it at

the same time.

The response was tremendous, and several of those who attended the

seminar shared with me how much they had benefited. Word of mouthspread , a nd I received numerous requests to conduct a dditiona l seminars.

Tw o years lat er C hristian Mo ney Ma nagement began. And shortly after

tha t, I began tea ching time mana gement seminars and changed the name of

the ministry to C hristian Stewa rdship Ministries.

CSM conducts both time and money management seminars, counsels

people w ho a re in need of special help w ith regard to the management of

their time or money, and assists Christian-owned businesses and other

C hristian o rganizations w ith the task of bringing Biblical principles into t he

conduct and management of those organizations. I also teach a daily radio

program and distribute a newsletter (Glad Tithings) on time and money man-

agement.So thats the story of how Christian Stewardship Ministries came into

being an organization that G od created out of the chaos that once w as

my life. Whenever I read the first cha pter of G enesis, w hich says that w hen

G od began creation the earth w as formless and empty (v. 2), I feel a spe-

cial sense of recognition. For just as G od created o ur beautiful planet from

that formless and empty blob, so H e has transformed my formless and

empty life to the point w here I can now teach people the benefi ts of godly

order within their lives.

This book will draw upon my personal and professional experience in

time and money management, presenting the principles Ive learned from this

experience and fro m the continuous study a nd a pplication of G ods Word .These principles have helped many people discover a new life of order a nd

peace. I know that these same principles can help you manage the greatest

resource you have.

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xxix

Before we begin this adventure, I have to ask you a n importa nt q uestion:

Have yo u accepted Jesus Chr ist as yo ur Savior? Tha ts where the adventure

begins. All you have to do is acknow ledge tha t you a re a sinner and tha t the

penalty f or your sins is death and eternal separat ion from G od. N ext, accept

the fact that Jesus Christ paid the penalty for yo ur sins w hen H e died upon

the cross and that His resurrection fro m the grave symbolized the new life

you are now ab le to begin w ith G od.

Once youve made Christ your Savior, you still need to make Him the

Lord of your life. Thats a position He deserves and requires. But whereas

making Christ your Savior is a one-time decision, making Him Lord is a life-

long process. Its something you d o o ver a nd over a gain in many situations.

Unless you a cknow ledge Jesus Christ a s Savior a nd Lo rd, your life will never

be all it could and should be. Without Him this book may help you, but itw ill not be as benefi cial as it can o therwise be.

So if you havent surrendered your life to C hrist, do it right now. All it

takes is a simple prayer like this one:

Lord Jesus, I acknowledge that I am a sinner, and I understand that the

penalty for sin is death and eternal separation from God. I know, Lord,

that You paid the penalty for my sin that You were crucified in my

place, and tha t only t hrough the shedding of Your bloo d is it possible for

my sins to be forgiven. I ask, Lord, for forgiveness and cleansing thro ugh

Your blood , and I a cknow ledge You as Lord and Savior of my life. H elp

me, Lord, to live close to you every day of my life. Amen.

Now lets get on with the adventure!

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PART ONE

THERES NOTHING YOU ANDGOD TOGETHER CANT DO


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33

1

Obedience: The Keyto Fulfillment

Its been more than tw enty years now since Fra nk Sinatra had a h it record

w ith the song called M y Way. You may recall that so ng and its mes-

sage of a man looking back over his life and declaring proudly that he

w as a success because he had alw ays done things in his own w ay that he

had never allow ed anyo ne else to t ell him what t o do . That record w as a very

big hit, so its obvious tha t millions of people identifi ed w ith its message.

The problem, though, is that doing everything my w ay isnt really

going to lead to true success. Instead, it usually brings disappointment a nd

fa ilure, or at least doesnt produce inner peace and fulfillment. Truthfully

there is only one w ay to be truly successful in life, and that is to learn to d o

things Gods way. O bedience to G od w ill undergird everything we talk abo utin this book. It is the foundat ion on w hich all else is built. Without a n at ti-

tude of obedience and a d esire to follow G ods leading, you w ill never achieve

true success. O n the other ha nd, if you strive to be obedient, your horizons

are limitless.

Obedience isnt alw ays easy, but its alw ays b eneficia l.

I remember one of the first lessons I learned about obedience. When I

became a C hristian, I was smoking two to three packs of cigarettes a da y. I

had gotten to the point w here I w as embarrassed to smoke in front of o ther

Christians, and y et I couldnt seem to shake the addiction. I knew that G od

w anted me to stop smoking, but I couldnt do it. I ha d begun to limit the

number of cigarettes I smoked by allow ing myself no more than one everyhalf ho ur and then every hour. But it had ta ken me several months to reach

that point, and giving cigarettes up totally seemed like an impossible thing

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34

As I studied the Biblical concept of the authority of the believer, I real-

ized tha t H e who is in me is greater than he w ho is in the w orld. I suddenly

believed that G od gave me that and ot her Scriptures for the purpose of con-

quering my smoking habit. It was one of those times when the living Wo rd

of G od had specific a pplication to a very ta ngible point in my life.

To limit my smoking, I play ed a little game w ith myself. I w ould w ait

until just a minute or so b efore the hour w as up to have my cigarette for that

hour. That w ay, I knew tha t I could have one for the next hour a couple of

minutes later if I wa nted to. I never smoked the next o ne until that hour w as

almost up, but I knew that I could if I w anted to.

It w as Labo r Da y w eekend of 1976, and the time w as 11:55 A.M . on a

Saturday. It ha d been almost a n hour since I lit up last, a nd I had looked for-

ward to the only cigarett e I could ha ve for that entire hour. I really struggled.I knew G od w as giving me a chance to b reak my smoking habit. I a lso knew

that if I didnt ha ve that cigarette in the next fi ve minutes I could neverhave

it. Never! Well, G od w on that bat tle. I got up and threw my cigarettes in the

tra sh. I w as at my mothers apartment at the time, and I to ld her to forget

the lunch she was fixing fo r me because I had some serious business to at tend

to. I drove the tw enty minutes to my ho use and got ready f or w hat turned

out to be the most dra matic experience Ive ever had in the realm o f spiritual

warfare.

I spent that day a nd the next tw o da ys acting like a crazy ma n. I prayed

to G od. I yelled and screamed at the devil. I would head for the store to get

cigarettes, then stop m yself and pray some more. I spent that w eekend in asclose proximity to Sata n as I ever wa nt to.

Finally it w as Tuesda y morning. I w ent to my law offi ce as usual, and I

called my mother early to see how she was doing after the long weekend.

While I was talking to her, I realized that I was still reaching for cigarettes

that were no longer in my shirt pocket. But the urge to smoke was gone. I

still had the habit, but I no longer had the urge. It was then that I realized

for the fi rst time in over tw enty years of heavy smoking that there w as a dif-

ference between the habit and the urge. It was the urge that had always

defeated me in times past when I had tried to stop, and now that urge was

gone. I quickly lost the habit and havent been tempted to have a cigarette

ever since.It was a difficult thing to do, but I knew that God wanted me to quit

smoking, and I needed to obey H im. As you can ima gine, the benefi ts of that

decision have been many: improved health, improved personal hygiene, a

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cleaner environment, and so on. And one of the biggest benefits was that I

learned for myself the importance of obedience and the availability of thepow er of G od to aid those who a re determined t o obey.

OBEDIENCE IS THE FOUNDATION OF SUCCESS

G ods Word tells us that To o bey is better tha n sacrifi ce (1 Samuel 15:22)

and that God will give His Holy Spirit only to those who obey Him (Acts

5:32). Ob edience underlies our entire relatio nship with G od . As Christia ns,

w e have accepted wha t G od did fo r us at Calvary. But how many of us have

ta ken the steps to make Him our Lord . Accepting Christ a s Savior is reflective

of w hat H e did for us. Ma king Him our Lord is reflective of w hat H e w ants

us to do for H im. Accepting Him a s Savior is something w e did. Ma king Him

Lord is recognizing who H e is.

To make C hrist the Lord of o ur lives is to engage in a process a never-

ending process of becoming the person H e wa nts each of us to become.

God has a plan for each day of our lives a plan He designed before the

beginning of time. Da vid says in Psalm 139, All the days orda ined fo r me

were written in your book before one of them came to b e (v. 16). O ur job

is to discover that plan on a daily basis. Obedience consists of 1) discover-

ing the plan, a nd 2) doing our pa rt to implement tha t plan.

In order to do t hat, w e must spend time with G od. We must get to kno w

Him w ell enough so that w e understand w hat H e wa nts us to do a nd w hen

H e wa nts us to do it . Co nversely, w e need to understa nd w hat H e does notw ant us to do a nd have the discipline to notdo it.

Obedience is an attitude, a state of the spirit. We are either obedient or

we are not obedient. Its not so much what we do as it is who we are. Yes,

w e all have little areas of d isobedience of doing what w e know is not G ods

best for us. But if w e have an attitude of obedience a spirit-deep commit-

ment to being the person G od w ants us to be we can conquer those little

pockets of d isobedience.

If obedience can b e defi ned a s making G od the Lord of your life, then

disobedience can be viewed as not permitting Him to be Lord of your life.

Perhaps you remember this old joke: Q uestion: H ow do yo u eat a n ele-

phant? Answer: One bite at a time. No wall of life is like a very big elephant .In order to ta ke a closer look at disobedience, w e need to ca rve tha t elephant

into some bite-size pieces so w e dont choke.

First, can yo u think of some things you presently do that you should not

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be doing, or that y oure not doing that you should be doing? It could be poor

use of time, poor use of money, or a poor relationship you ha vent sought tomend. Perhaps there are some things you should or should not be doing in

your relationship with God or within your family.

O nce youve done that, the next step is to d etermine w hat it is abo ut this

area t hat is actua lly disobedient. Is it bad in and o f itself, or is it on ly bad for

you to do it? Is it a n area that yo u have rationa lized to the point that youve

convinced yo urself its all right although you know deep dow n tha t its really

not?

For exam ple, I ha ve a prob lem w hen it comes to movies. Now, there is

certainly nothing wrong with going to movies. I doubt that an occasional

movie represents a poor use of time if it provides recreation and relaxation.

But the problem with my go ing to the movies is that G od doesnt wantme to go, a nd H e has gently let me know that in any number of w ays. He

objects to w hat I hear a nd w hat I see at my local theater. Thats primarily

because my tastes run to action films, and unfortunat ely H ollywo od do esnt

produce action films that d o not include language or scenes that offend G od.

For years I have rationalized, a nd fo r years I have been disobedient. It is a n

area of disobedience that I am presently trying to o vercome.

WHY IS OBEDIENCE SO IMPORTANT?

Perhaps you have similar areas in your life. Again, it is extremely important

that you identify those areas of disobedience and then try to determine wha tit is about those areas that displeases God . The next step is to fi nd the a nswer

to the q uestion, Why should I worry so much about w hether Im living in

obedience?

There are at least tw o w ays to answ er this question. From the positive

side, o bedience pleases G od a nd brings His blessings. If you w an t to see how

much G od desires to bless people who a re obedient to H im, read the tw enty-

eighth chapter of D euteronomy. When w e are disobedient, w e preclude Go d

from providing us with many of the things He wants us to have. He is con-

stantly ha ving to rework the wonderful plan He has designed for our lives

in order t o co mpensate fo r our disobedience. D isobedience forces us to miss

out on some things entirely and brings a delay in our enjoyment of otherthings.

The negative answ er to the question ab out ob edience is that if we a re dis-

obedient, w e reap the consequences and pain o f disobedience. N ot only do

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we miss the blessings, but we incur the pain. Why should we be so stupid as

to disobey an a ll-know ing, all-loving Go d?

Now it is true that there may be some pain associated with obedience.

But it w ill often be short-lived, and the obedience will produce a joy and a n

ultimate result that w ill make the pain that w as felt seem insignificant in com-

parison. It is as Paul said in Roma ns 8:18: I consider tha t o ur present suf-

ferings are not w orth compa ring with the glory t hat w ill be revealed in us.

Now its certainly not necessary to be physically tort ured to suffer for

being a C hristian. When I w as very young in the faith, a very close friend of

mine w as killed w hile driving drunk. H e lingered f or six long months w ith-

out recovering consciousness before he died. At the funeral his wife, who w as

a Christian, had the pastor announce that my friend had been an alcoholic

and that his drinking had been the reason for his accident. The pastorexplained that his wife hoped the publicity w ould deter others from dr iving

and drinking. Up to that mo ment the fact of his intoxication had been care-

fully covered up. H e wa s a prominent law yer, a nd the police had not reported

it as an alcohol-related a ccident.

The pastor then invited those in attendance to share their memories of the

deceased. A number of people did. But not me. As the testimonies drew to a

close, I began to tremble. I knew G od w anted me to speak. N ow there were

hundreds of people present, including everyone in the community whose

respect I ever w anted to ha ve. If I spoke, I knew I would instantly be discred-

ited by many of these most-important people. I asked God not to make me

speak, but H is persistent urging continued, a nd I knew that to remain seatedwould constitute gross disobedience. If I wanted to please God I had no

choice. Suddenly I fo und myself standing and saying that I, t oo, w as an alco-

holic. I testifi ed that G od ha d healed me of alcoholism a few months before

and that He had the power to heal others in that auditorium of the same

addiction.

Talk about suffering! That w as fi fteen years ago , a nd I remember it as if

it were yesterday. Ever since then I have been labeled as a Christian in the

legal community, and some people w hom I considered to be my friends began

crossing the street when they saw me coming. I didnt like that at all, but I

knew I had b een obedient to G od, a nd I w as at peace within myself because

of that.And then the benefits began to occur. People I hadnt known before but

w hose respect I w ould ha ve liked to have started coming across the street w hen

they saw me coming, so they could shake my hand a nd congratulate me on my

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courage. Whats more, because of my outspoken and very public statement

about G ods healing power, I have had a platform from w hich to bo ldly pro-claim Christ ever since. In fact, its been expected of me, and Ive been able to

do it w ithout w orrying w hat anyone else might think about me.

You see, there was suffering in o bedience, b ut it w as t emporary, a nd t he

obedience brought tremendous benefits my w ay.

On the other hand, the pain that comes from disobedience is the kind

tha t w ill not let go of y ou and sometimes lasts for years.

M y ow n experience in this area might prov ide another helpful illustra-

tion. When I accepted Jesus as Savior and pledged to make H im the Lord of

my life, I did so in response to very greatpain. As I have already told yo u, I

w as severely depressed and had been fo r fourteen long mo nths. I w as so

depressed that I had not been able to take a deep breath for all that time. Iconstantly gasped for a ir and alw ays felt as though I w as about to suffocate.

I contemplated suicide on a continuing ba sis, a nd one of the miracles of my

life is that I survived that period.

But I d id survive, because I found C hrist or H e found me. I then began

theprocess of learning to live in obedience to G od. And the more I brought

my life into line w ith H is wishes, the less I hurt. Whenever I am tempted to

be disobedient, or w hen I realize that I am being disobedient, the primary

motivat ing factor t o be obedient is my very personal know ledge of the pain

produced by disobedience.

HOW CAN I BECOME OBEDIENT?

1) Recognize Disobedience

The first step in becoming obedient in an a rea is to acknow ledge that you a re

being disobedient. Take a pencil and pad of paper and list fi ve to t en areas

of disobedience in your life. If you cant think of tha t ma ny, list as ma ny a s

you can think of. Just to get you started, t hink of the relationships you need

to w ork on, the things you need to do that are health-related, a nd the things

you should improve on in your relationship with G od.

2) Reflect on the Significance of Disobedience

After youve made your list, carve out time to seriously think abo ut it. G iveyourself the opportunity to think through the significance of each of these

areas. R eflect o n not only your disobedience, but on the consequences of that

disobedience, inyourlife and in the lives of ot hers.

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3) Confess and Request Forgiveness

Once youve identified a n a rea a s conscious disobedience and therefore as

sin you can begin to d eal w ith it. The next step is to a cknow ledge to G od

that it is sin. Thats called confession G od , I acknow ledge my sin to You,

and I a sk You to forgive me for it. By the wa y, w hen you ask G od for for-

giveness, keep in mind that H e isnt going to gra nt it unless you have forgiven

those who have sinned against you (Ma tthew 6:14, 15; Mark 11:25). Even

if another person is treating you shabbily, you have to fo rgive him before God

w ill forgive you. Thats not alw ays easy to do , but it should motivate you to

be obedient in a n area tha t is often difficult to master.

4) Repent

Along w ith confessing areas of disobedience and asking G ods forgiveness,

w e need to be sorry fo r our sin. Tha ts called repentance. Very o ften the rea-

son w eve never really changed our w ays in an a rea of d isobedience is because

w e really arent sorry. On the contrary, w ere enjoying them, o r at least think

w e are. Now if youre sleeping w ith someone who is not your spouse, you

most likely have figured that one out. You may not be sorry, but a t least you

know it is a sin. How ever, if its the movies you go to that are the problem,

you ma y never ha ve focused on going to them as something to b e sorry for.

O nce youre at t he point of know ing that you shouldbe sorry, then ask G od

to give you a repentant heart. Ask Him to make you feel sorry sorry to

the point tha t yo ure w illing to become obedient.

5) Change

Once youre sorry, or a t least willing to be sorry, start working on what you

need to stop doing or start doing. If you need to lose weight, dont focus on

skipping the next meal. Focus instead on forming new eating habits. If yo u

need to get better grades, dont focus on asking your teacher for another

chance; focus on spending more time on your class w ork and homework. If

you need to stop going to certa in movies, dont concentrate on not going, but

focus on what you should do instead.

If your problem has to do w ith someone else, look inwa rd, not outw ard .

God may have plenty of changes for the other person to make, but until

youve succeeded in becoming the person H e wa nts you to be in that rela-tionship, the other person isnt likely to cha nge at a ll. In fact, as yo ure obe-

dient and ma ke the necessary changes in yourself, you free Go d to w ork on

the other person.



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6) Relinquish Areas of Disobedience

As you go through this process of identifying areas of disobedience, con-

fessing them, repenting, changing your behavior, and becoming a different

person, look for the areas in w hich youre trying to ho ld onto something or

someone. It may be that youre refusing to surrender something that God

wants you to be willing to surrender. This process is ca lled relinquishment.

There is freedo m ahead for you as you are ab le to let go. In fact, t here is

bondage in trying to hold on w hen G od w ants you to turn loose. You may

even find that you dont have to lose whatever it is youre afraid of losing,

but until youre willing to lose it, youll never know whether its yours to

keep.

DEVELOPING GOD-DIRECTED DISCIPLINE

It ta kes self-discipline to be obedient to G od. Or a ctually it ta kes G od-

directed discipline, because it is through His empowering that you can con-

tinually bring more and mo re of your life under H is control.

The first st ep in a cquiring G od-directed discipline is to w ant to have it

to be motivated to w ant to do the things H e w ants you to do. O ften that

w ill happen w ithout a ny sort o f struggle. For some people it just comes w ith

the territory of b eing a Christian. But for ot hers it takes a great deal of effort

to develop that mo tivation. If tha t is the w ay it is with yo u, youll need to

ask G od to give you the desire to be obedient to H im.

The next step is to position yourself with God so He can provide youw ith ongoing direction. The only w ay you can know consistently what G od

wants you to do is to spend sufficient time with Him on a regular basis.

(M ore about that in the next chapter.) The reason for this is twofold. Not

only do you need to be available to hear H im when He has something to say

to yo u, but you a lso need to have the assurance that if you ha vent heard from

Him, He hasnt had anything to say on the subject. If you know you have

done what you need to do to receive His direction and still havent gotten

any, you can keep moving without fear that you are contradicting His will

in a particular area .

If you d evelop the discipline of spending time with G od o n a regular

ba sis, all ot her G od-directed discipline w ill follow. Until you fo rm the habitsthat enable you to be G od-directed, much of w hat yo u do, a ccomplish, and

achieve will be dead w orks.

What a re some of the areas where you need to discover Go d-directed dis-

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cipline? What about your physical w ell-being? Do you exercise and eat prop-

erly? What about your relationships, your responsibilities within the church,etc.?

If youre still at a loss for direction on where you might start bringing

your life into line with G ods will, ask your spouse or yo ur children. If youre

not married, you might ask your close friends or your coworkers. It might

also be benefi cial to ask yo ur pastor.

Usua lly the problem isnt so much w here you need self-discipline as it is

a matter of getting started in one of a ny number of areas. If tha ts your situ-

at ion, I suggest that you ma ke a list of several a reas in w hich you have not

exercised the discipline you know yo u need. Then pick the one tha t w ill

relieve yo u from t he most stress or f rustra tion. Set a side some time to decide

just w hat the best a pproach might be. For example, if its in the area of phys-ical exercise, you might enroll in a weight lifting course (and attend the ses-

sions!). Its not necessarily that you w ant to increase your strength, but that

you want to establish a routine of getting regular exercise. The idea is to

begin somewhere anyw here but b egin!

OBEDIENCE IN FASTING

One of the greatest lessons I learned in this area of discipline had to do w ith

fasting.

Now w hether G od expects you to fast is a q uestion that only you can

answer. In my ca se, as a brand-new Chr istian G od supernaturally led me intoand through a three-da y fast that d rama tically changed the course of my life.

I can st ill relate things that happen in my life to tha t pa rticular fast. For sev-

eral years follow ing tha t experience, I cont inued to believe that I shouldfast,

but a s disciplined as I w as becoming in other areas, I could not b ring myself

to engage in even a one-day fast.

As time passed, I became more and more convinced that G od did w ant

me to fa st aga in. Finally, seven years after my fi rst three-da y fast, I knew that

if I did not readdress the mat ter of fa sting, I w ould be guilty o f conscious dis-

obedience to G od . So I sat do w n and developed a plan for fasting. I w as still

not committedto follow ing the plan, but at least I had gone through the men-

ta l process of making o ne.I decided that if I w as going to go to all this trouble, I may as w ell make

it wo rthw hile, so I set a goa l of w orking tow ard a f orty-day fa st. Now that

w as something I could get excited a bout. I knew that if I ever did a chieve that



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goal, I might one da y be in the big leagues in my relationship w ith G od, a nd

I really did desire to become a spiritual giant.I determined that I would fast one day the coming month, two days the

month aft er that , and so on. I figured that Id t ry to increase each fast by one

day per month, and if that w orked, Id reach a fort y-da y fast in forty months.

While it didnt work out exactly that way, I did begin my one-day fast in

No vember 1983, a nd w ith G ods help I completed my fi rst forty-day fa st in

April 1987, a t otal elapsed time of forty-two months.

A year lat er I completed another forty-da y fast. N ow I just fa st from time

to time. I no longer aspire to fo rty-da y fasts, but I feel that w hat I did in the

past w as for a reason. When and if G od a sks me to go on a nother extended

fast, I trust Ill be w illing to r epeat the effort .

By the second or third month of working up to a forty-day fast, I re al-

ized it w ould be very helpful to keep a journal. I ha d no t decided to fast in

order to ma ke things happen in the heavenlies. I w as not a sking G od f or a ny-

thing during the process. In fact , it almost seemed in the beginning tha t there

w as no spiritual dimension to my fasting. I w as doing it because I knew G od

wanted me to do it, and it was simply an exercise in discipline and obedi-

ence.

Nevertheless, there were some times of great spiritual insight. My jour-

nal entry for February 28, 1984 show s that I w as up at 3:15 A.M . and spent

from 4:30 to 7:30 in Bible reading and prayer. I recorded on that date

tremendous enthusiasm for fasting. Most rewarding time w ith G od I canremember; pra yers shouting th rough the roof. . . . I cant begin to do justice

to the feeling I have regarding my relationship to the Lord. On Ma y 5, 1984

I entitled the entry Spiritual Breakthrough and went on to record an

insight tha t w ould have great significa nce in the future.

Perhaps the greatest benefit I received from fasting was in the form of

increasing intimacy w ith G od . Ive just become more comforta ble w ith Him.

He seems much less a stranger and much more a friend. As Jesus said so

encouragingly in John 15:13-15,

G reater love has no o ne than this, that o ne lay dow n his life for his

friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer callyou servants, because a servant does not know his masters business.

Instead, I have called yo u friends, fo r everything tha t I learned f rom my

Father I have made known to you.

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OBEDIENCE IN TITHING

Another area in which obedience to God produces great freedom is in ourfi nances specifica lly, tithing returning a minimum of 10 percent of w hat

H e has entrusted to us to H is wo rk. The third chapter of the book o f M alachi

has some things to say ab out the importance of tithing:

Return to me and I w ill return to you, says the Lord Almighty.

But you ask, H ow a re w e to return?

Will a ma n rob G od? Yet you rob me.

But you ask, How do w e rob you?

In tithes and offerings. Yo u are under a curse the who le nation

of you because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the

storehouse, that t here may be food in my ho use. Test me in this, says

the Lord Almighty, and see if I w ill not throw open the flo odga tes of

heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room

enough for it. (vv. 710)

If you want to ha ve maximum freedom in your fi nancial affa irs, you need

to be obedient in managing your money His way.

I began tithing even before I wa s a C hristian. I o pened my ow n law prac-

tice in 1972. I had been w ith a small firm, ha d served a s Senior Assistant

County Attorney in Fairfax County, Virginia, and had even formed a very

short-lived partnership with a former chairman of the County Board of

Supervisors. But now I was on my own, and I needed help. I knew nothing

about operat ing a solo pra ctice, a nd f or the second t ime in my legal career I

decided tha t I needed G od to be involved. In 1965 He had helped me pass

the bar exam, and a s my part o f that deal I had a greed to a ttend church reg-

ularly for the rest of my life. I w as seven years into tha t vow w hen I opened

my own practice in September 1972.

The means by which I chose to ask Him to be part of my new practice

was a commitment to tithing. I knew nothing about tithing from a Biblical

perspective, but I did know that my mother had tithed for many years and

that God had not only rescued her from potential financial disaster, but she

had reached her middle sixties with financial security for the future. So I

asked Go d to b e part o f my practice, and in return I a greed to t ithe.All I knew about tithing was that it was 10 percent, so I decided to set

aside one-tenth of my net income for G od. I ha d no idea what H e wa nted

me to do with the money, so I just accumulated it in a savings account for

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three years. The only withdrawal during that time was $100, which I con-

tributed to a yo uth club footba ll team to purchase trophies.

It wasnt until 1976, after I became a Christian, that I began t

it's about time book

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