A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

When everything is coming your way you are in the wrong lane !

Marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Teach a man to fish and you can get rid of him for the weekend

People who live in glass houses should turn off the light before changing their clothes.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Then, even if you criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

You don’t always get what you want in life, sometimes you get something better.

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "