Issue 17 Week 11

2

After a week of notorious bike burglaries and student politics to put Sarah Palin to shame, this issue of Scope is committed to unravelling the controversies surrounding Bond University.

Could Bond have its very own Hells Angels of pushbikes? Or perhaps it’s just careless students leaving their bikes unattended, Scope sub-editors Benjamin Strick and Emma Lago answer the questions on everybody’s mind.

What was that?… You don’t own a bike… You drive a Porsche? Perhaps the White House controversy will tickle your pickle.

Political Queen Kristen Zornada throws everything but the kitchen sink at the newly appointed HSA - this is petty student politics at its best. For all you political enthusiasts, this is Bond University’s equivalent to the Latham Diaries.

On a lighter note, we have a jam-packed Scope for you this week, including six photo pages, Scope review, Scope sport and bits & pieces. Sally Morris’ article about the amount of Dicks on the dance-floor is sure to get the girls reeling. And don’t worry boys; we’ve got something for you too, Andra Nasrie talks about the exciting lead up to the UEFA Champions League. To top it all off, you cannot miss the entertaining Lady Gaga concert review by none other than genius duo Vinnie Rugari and Dan Pierce.

Enjoy our second to last issue… Yes I am going to steal another sign off…

XOXO Gossip Girl

Cover: Bond’s Got Talent by Nicola Ying.

CONTENTS04

06

07

08

14

16

18

20

22

Bond’s bike burglaries

There’s too many dicks on the dance floor

Some are more equal than others

Scope Photos

Scope Sport

Champion’s League betting guide

Lady Gaga - Live in Brisbane

Scope Review

Bits & Pieces

Scope Team

Benjamin Strick Sub Editor

Emma Lago Sub Editor

Vinnie Rugari Sub Editor

Julian Jantos Photographer

Ivy Chai Designer

Noriko Haraguchi Designer

Student Politics

Shuba KrishnanEditor’s Report The most uncontroversial thing I will say in this

article is this: student representation is not easy. In any one decision, there are a number of considerations, interested parties, conflicting opinions, such that making a satisfactory decision is incredibly difficult. In light of these considerations, and save any outrageous exceptions, I do not believe that the actual decisions of student representative bodies deserve criticism. However, the way in which these decisions are made requires examination.

I recently read “The Hidden Struggles of White House” (Scope Week 8) and like the author of that article, I thought that certain things need to be put in perspective.

It seemed to me that the article was a poorly veiled, propagandistic attempt to prepare students for the inevitable outcome that the HSA is preparing to move White House off-campus. The article tried to connect with students by eschewing the eye-rolling Bond patriotism that apparently “those” articles are full of, and keep it real by telling students the truth and keeping them in the loop.

Accordingly, the HSA 07-09 ex-Social Director was concerned about White House moving off-campus and emailed the current Social Director, offering to meet with her and discuss ways to help the HSA keep costs down. Given the HSA claimed they would do “all that can be done to keep White House”, you’d think the social director would jump at the chance to meet with someone experienced in successfully running White House.

The response came a week later and stated that she did not want to meet with the 07-09 Social Director, because “we have not decided or cemented any ideas concerning White House… thank you so much for offering your services, but at the moment… the entire HSA are just throwing ideas around”.

HSA Constitution Clause 2.2 states that a central object of the HSA is to promote social and intellectual activities … and the exchange

of information between members. This response made abundantly clear the HSA very much did not want any student interference in the making of their decision. They rejected the prospect of exchanging information - despite the fact such an exchange is constitutionally mandated and required to make informed decisions.

At least we know that the HSA is throwing ideas around “to the point where we are there for two whole hours instead of one…. Yay!” I’m fairly certain most people who voted for the current HSA would expect that they would at least take 2 hours to discuss the future of the HSA’s signature event. Student representation is not a 1-hour a week thing you can squeeze in after your gym session; it’s an on-going commitment. You stay as long as it takes to inform yourself and make a satisfactory decision, preferably without making sarcastic jabs about how long it took you to make a decision to the very people who elected you to make it.

This “thanks, but no thanks” response does not resonate with the suggestion by the HSA that “[the social director] is working incredibly hard to get around all the rules and regulations and make the event financially viable”. Even more concerning was the Article actually invited suggestions, concerns, and opinions to be submitted to the HSA concerning White House, giving the false image that they were dedicated to exchanging information, when they really had no such intention. Were we being duped?

When the 07-09 HSA President suggested in an email to the current President that they seemed to be adopting a counter-productive “thanks but we’re going to do it our way anyway” approach she confirmed that “I

I do not believe that the actual decisions of student representative bodies deserve criticism.

wouldn’t quite put it like that that, but there is some truth in it” and claimed: “I didn’t think [we would] gain from speaking to [07-09 committee] members about White House… I do not think that a meeting … is necessary… or will achieve anything.” I believe such a response is most unbecoming of a President. This is because it suggests that meeting with concerned student constituents is unnecessary and unproductive, which goes against the whole point of student representative bodies.

HSA Constitution Clause 2.3 states that the HSA should address student concerns. The HSA have actually confirmed that they will “listen but do it our way anyway” in relation to student concerns. Is this the kind of student representation that we deserve? An association that claims to represent and be responsive to the needs of the students, but at the suggestion of how White House might be successfully run, decides to still do it their way because “there are only so many white dresses” they wish to accumulate?

HSA Constitution Clause 2.4 states the HSA should provide a forum for discussion in which all members can participate regarding grievances [and] matters of opinion. Following the dismissive email response to the 07-09 Social Director, the 07-09 President offered to meet with the incumbent committee to discuss her opinion on White House. She was met with the email response that “the HSA will not engage in a discussion or answer questions about the future of White House”. A failure to enter into dialogue is a symptom of a failure of democracy. What is this, Chinese Google? A student association shouldn’t be allowed to just refuse to inform its constituents if so requested.

Have we forgotten that student representation is just that – representation of students? It seems that “students” has become an abstract concept of a general, faceless body composed of no one in particular. Associations cannot claim to represent this notion of “students” if they treat concerned students as subversives. Perhaps associations will not be criticised for being “out of touch” if they firstly, became more committed to genuinely include students in the decision making process; and secondly, if they endorsed that commitment with genuine appreciation and consideration. Associations should utilise students who still have faith in the student democratic process, instead of funnelling all their efforts into becoming so inaccessible and difficult to deal with that those students become exhausted and just give up. Remember, you still have to make quorum.

Some are more equal than others

Kristen Zornada3

Student Politics

Thieves are swooping under the hood of night on bike racks and peddling away with their newfound two-wheeled treasures, but you wouldn’t think this would happen in sleepy old Bond-town would you?

Well yes it is, and the gallant guards at the local Bond University Public Safety and Security office are are urging Bond students to call in thefts to the big blue over Robina Police station.

You see, this month the 24-hour working security office has had five reports of bike thefts, and even more heartfelt stories from owners of their long lost two-wheeled delights have been floating around on the social-networking site Facebook.

After hearing the recollections of one Mulga Bill-resemblant student who had his bike stolen and not knowing what do, Scope sub-editors Benjamin Strick and Emma Lago spoke to Director of Public Safety and Security Roger Collins about the Bond bike burglaries.

Q: So we’ve got several students claiming their bikes have been stolen, what strategy have you devised to stop this?

A: Well first of all, bike racks aren’t designed to be left for extended periods. Really a student would just ride their bike to campus, then ride it home again. When you leave it on campus during the day you secure it with a good lock.

But the reason the thefts are happening is because some people are leaving their bikes here over the weekends, overnight, and even over weeks at a time.

Q: How are these pesky thieves getting the bikes?

A: Well people are sometimes walking through Bond, and they are not necessarily honest people and they’re not always looking for bikes. But if they see a bike is continually in an area then it might become a target for these people.

Q: So how can students stop their bikes from being stolen and what should they do if it is stolen?

A: One thing that students should do for themselves is to report a theft to police. We always say report it to police, we can’t report it to them because it has to be up to the individual.

Of the recent bike thefts, there were five, none of those thefts were reported to police. We check with the police, we had a meeting with the police last night about security issues [Thursday], and there were no reports made of bikes being stolen from Bond University.

If the police find someone who has stolen a bike then they can charge that person for possession, but if a student doesn’t report the bike theft to police then they can’t do anything with that bike.

We’ve got three things that students should do to make their bike is safe and in case of a theft, is returned:

But the reason the thefts are happening is because some people are leaving their bikes here over the weekends, overnight, and even over weeks at a time.

1) Use one of those “U” shaped locks that have a thick metal bar like a padlock but without the chain, while they may cost a bit replacing a bike is more expensive.

2) Take a photo of the bike. If the thief is determined to get a bike they will try and cut their way through any lock. Once the bike is stolen police need to know what the bike looks like, so a photo is the best method of doing that.

3) Take note of the serial number, located on the underside of the bike near the pedals. In any circumstance if a bike is stolen and found, the serial number is the best way to identify your bicycle.

Q: So once a bike is stolen from Bond it’s not only a security issue but a police issue as well?

A: It’s a police issue because stealing bikes is a criminal offence and they should report it to the police. The police are active all of the time and we don’t know what’s going to turn up tomorrow.

We send our reports to the police but they can’t act on anything unless they have an official report.

The police organise their tasking if there is a sufficient amount of reportage in one area, so the more reports they receive the more likely they are to patrol this area more regularly.

Q: So with these bicycle thefts, has anyone actually identified a thief?

A: Some time ago we had a staff member call in about people who were removing a bike from a bike rack. That information was passed on to the police and those people were arrested. These people weren’t Bond students, which goes to show how opportunistic an outsider thief can be.

Of the recent bike thefts, there were five, none of those thefts were reported to police. We check with the police, we had a meeting with the police last night about security issues [Thursday], and there were no reports made of bikes being stolen from Bond University.

I dare say most of the bike thefts are from outside people. Obviously if a student were to take it then they would be seen using it in this vicinity.

Q: Are there fluctuations in these thefts?

A: No, but once again people need to take responsibility for their property. We are always walking through libraries, labs and are always finding, amongst other things, laptops unattended. If someone’s a thief, that’s what they are looking for and they will walk off with those things. Some people leave their stuff for hours and it only takes a couple of minutes for a thief in the area to pick up someone’s belongings, such as a laptop, and go.

Bond Public Safety and Security are also urging students who suspect any wrongdoing around campus, especially thieves and vandals, to report it immediately to the office. For more information, or to make a report, visit the security office next to Juicy Bits cafe.

Bond's bike burglariesBenjamin Strick and Emma Lago

4 5

Opinion

Every weekend the Surfers Paradise dance floors fill with the good, bad and ugly night club enthusiasts. Unfortunately for females the ratio is slightly skewed with a larger number of males, ending in what only can be described as a sausage fest.

For those of you with a penis or inherently blessed to have not experienced the night club scene, the feeling is like not bathing for three days. You feel dirty as a hundred pairs of seedy eyes fall upon you clinging to hope that you will get blind drunk and completely lose your inhibitions and your standards.

Now I guess this dirty feeling would subside if the males were reasonably attractive, upstanding gentlemen. Yet the quality of the men is around the same as that of the Scope Race Day issue pictures. Both painful and grotesque!

Now I may have painted a harsh picture of the night club scene, but don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a good dabble on the dance floor, just not when I feel like a piece of meat. A piece of furniture that some dirty, drunken idiot decides to bump and grind on. Let’s be honest, you know that your time on the dance floor is up when you feel like the last cupcake at the Biggest Loser orientation day.

I digress, back to the main point of this article which seems to be radically escaping my attention. Why are there so many dicks on the dance floor?

Well a 1986 study argued that it more likely for a woman to get killed by a terrorist than to get married over the age of 40. Consequently it revealed a lot of desperate, single women over a certain age. Could this 24 year gap now reveal a shift in demographic? Could the 20 to 30-year-old Surfers Paradise pervs be the

new 40-year-old desperados?

These poor souls have been misjudged! They’re not disgusting, they’re just desperate. Looking to meet that special someone on the vomit-encrusted, vodka-stained carpets of Sin City Night Club. Who needs blind dating when you’re one slippery nipple away from meeting the girl of your dreams on pole at ladies night on the Gold Coast?

Honestly, if you believe that you have some serious issues. That theory is about as logical as attending Reasoning Skills lectures every week.

There's too many dicks on the dance floor

a 1986 study argued that it more likely for a woman to get killed by a terrorist than to get married over the age of 40.

Sally Morris

Moral of the story is there are too many mista’s and not enough sista’s. So guys: next time you’re dancing and it starts turning into a brodeo remember to spread out and create some lady space. There is nothing worse from a girl’s perspective than to have ten guys breathing down your neck at once.

I’ll leave you with one of my favourite pieces of advice. In the words of Bret and Jemaine, make sure you know before you go to the dance floor, the bro-hoe ratio!

• Andrew has won “ Reflections – Photography of Australia and New Zealand ” by Australian photographer, Ken Duncan which was donated by Borders at

Robina Town Centre.

RUNNERS UP: (in alphabetical order)

Bailey Dunn

• The lighting against the child’s eyes brings a real sense of hopeful innocence, as the child is looking outside.

• The mesh plays an important aspect of the photo for me in portraying charity. The mesh keeps the child trapped inside (maybe in a hospital from malnourishment?) from a regular life of a

BUUNA AND BUPA PHOTOGRAPHY COMPETITIONThe Bond University United Nations Association and Bond University Photography Association would like to thank everyone for participating in the competition. It was great to see some seriously amazing photos from our Bond students.

Check out our choice picks below. We’ve also included some of the comments that the judges had about them.

Stay tuned for another upcoming photo competition!

FIRST PRIZE: ANDREW KEEP

1. Andrew Keep

• The emotion in this shot is loud. You feel the despair and difficulty that encourages charity, but also shows the difficulty of an impoverished person seeking charity.

• I really liked this photo because it represented how charity (by the man begging) is really ignored by society. The blurring of the people behind really highlights the man and how the world is rushing past him and not noticing his needs.

child. This brings a real sorrowful feeling to and really can allude well to the need for charity.

Carl Luig

• You get a warm and happy feeling from looking at the children’s smiling faces, yet, you troubled because you can clearly see they are dirty and in a garbage dump. Charity could make a big difference in

their daily lives. I like that this photo shows that the children are playful and youthful despite their dirty surroundings.

Kate Tanner

• What I especially found impactful was how the shorter boy has his hands together as he looks up at the people in the bus, maybe pleading for money.

• By giving money to these three boys, you can get an idea of how a small amount of money (giving) could affect their livelihood for the better. I also loved the color, and dimensions of this picture.

• I liked this photo because of the angle of the bus. A viewer really has to look closer to notice the people asking for charity.

6 76

Career's Fair

Photos

Photographer: Alan White

Bondie 500

8 98

ALSS BBQPhotographer:Kenneth Yam, Lee Young Sun, Jesmond Wong

BRIS VEGAS &AND HAVANNA NIGHTSPhotographer: Nicola Ying

Photographer: Andrew Dennis

10 11

HSA Debate and Bond's Got Talent

Photographer: Ashleigh Gleeson

Photographer: Nicola Ying

North vs SouthPhotographer: Julian Jantos

12 13

THURSDAY 8TH APRILWEEK 12

RES DINNER 101

Minimum legal age 18 years. Photo I.D required. Management reserves all rights. Bond University Student Association supports responsible drinking. www.bondstudents.com.au

With the best

after parties in town

at The Bedroom &

SinCity Nightclubs

Free return buses leave from

Don’s Tavern at midnight

C L E A N E R S : P L E A S E D O N O T R E M O V E U N T I L 9 T H A P R I L 2 0 1 0

6.30pm in the

Princeton Ro

om

(Lockout 7pm

)

Join Campus L

ife for a

celebration of

all things Res

,

including unv

eiling of Res

Wars Champio

ns in 101

Cost: Free for a

ll residents, oth

erwise $20 cash

Sign up in the A

ccommodation

Office,

or online at bo

ndstudents.co

m.au

by Monday 5th

April.

Note: $50 from

meal card for

non-attendanc

e if RSVP’d.

PRIZES

FOR BEST

DRESSED!

Scope Sport

Res Wars

Res Wars - Indoor Soccer Indoor Soccer was the last chance that the

residence students had to prove to each

other who would be crowned the Sporting

Champion of Res Wars for 101. The stakes

and talent were high, while the score

board remained low throughout this close

competition.

The rounds were underway with much

anticipation; while the girls were enjoying a

fun game, the boys were taking it extremely

seriously on the other court. At the end of the

rounds the boys had a tie for second place

between Green Machine and A Block; these

boys boldly strode onto the court for a 5min

golden goal game to decide who would take

on the mighty Red Devils in the final.

The finals then began with Red Devils and

Green Machine battling it out on the girl’s

court; and Red Devils and A Block on the

boy’s. The finals saw a big step up in talent and

competition, knowing that this would be their

last chance to strive for glory. With the two Red

Devils teams coming out on top, it was a hellish

victory for the AC.

If you have been enjoying res wars this

semester, don’t forget to sign up for Res Dinner

in week 12. Visit www.boondstudents.com/

resdinner to sign up and vote, remember it is

FREE! The theme is under the sea, and I expect

everyone to get dressed up accordingly.

RES DINNER – BE THERE

Res Dinner 101There is still time to sign up for Res Dinner 101!

Celebrate life on res and do not miss the much

anticipated Res awards.

Details:

When: Thursday April 8 (Week 12)

Time: 6:30pm

Where: Princeton Room

Cost: Free for all res students. $20 non-res

*note $50 will be deducted from meal card if you

sign up and do not attend

Theme: Under the sea Sign up: on the student portal (www.

bondstudents.com ) or at the accommodation

office

Make sure you vote for the all important Res

Dinner awards

MOST WANTED MALE: Vote for the guy who manages to get all the girls

talking, fighting and swooning over him!

MOST WANTED FEMALE:Vote for the female who turns the most heads

when she ‘struts her stuff’ around campus

CUTEST COUPLE:Vote for the residential sweethearts that:

have romantic candle light Cafe Bond dates,

canoodle in lectures or gaze into each other’s

eyes under the arch - alternatively vote for the

couple that have repetitive, drunken hook-ups

at Don’s.

JAFFA (Just A Fantastic Freshman Award):

That first semester student who has already

stamped Bond with their own brand of

‘awesome’

TEACHERS PET:Vote for the residential student that does the

most sucking-up you have ever seen!

POSER:Vote for the male or female that is constantly

seen at the gym, or flexing their muscles in any

reflective surface they can find.

PRINCESS:This goes to the male or female who is a little bit

precious and lives life according to the fairytale

‘The Princess and the Pea’

STUDY ABROAD AWARD:This goes to the most dominant, cheerful, fun

and adventurous Study Abroad, who is as

deserving of the term ‘mate’ as any Australian!

SERVICE TO DONS:This goes to the res-student that is constantly

thinking about, dreaming of, or going to DON’S!

‘PLAYERS PLAYER’ of all RES AREAS:This award goes to the best and fairest Res Wars

player from all res-areas. Someone who has

been at Res Wars to cheer and support as well as

score that vital goal in the last minute.

Caitey Longden

Sport

Training/Event Times

Sport Event Time Day PlaceAFL Training 7PM - 8PM

5PM - 6PMWednesday Thursday

Clubhouse

Basketball Training USA vs. ROW

4PM - 6PM 4PM - 6PM 7PM - 9:30PM

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

Sports Hall

Rugby Training 6:30PM – 8:30PM 6:30PM – 8:30PM

Tuesday Thursday

Clubhouse

Touch Football

Weekly competition 6PM Tuesday Thursday Friday

Clubhouse Clubhouse Clubhouse

Krav Maga Training 4PM – 5:30PM Monday Sports Hall

Did They Just Say That?!We have a new contender for the Michael Clarke

Speaking in Third Person Wanker Award in the

form of Sydney Swans player Jesse White: “I wouldn’t say I’m the new Barry Hall. What I want is to make a stamp on the game as Jesse White.”

Berrick Barnes, although evidently going for

gold in the mixed metaphor awards, puts sport

into perspective: “That was probably the worst game I have ever fucking played. [But] at the moment I haven’t got cancer. I haven’t got anything real bad. At the end of the day, the sun is still going to come up and I’m still going.” In case you missed it, emphasis added for most mixed of metaphors.

But wait, if you weren’t in the mood for mixed

metaphors, there’s more. Here is former

Rabbitohs player Sean Garlick on their dire

season thus far, but kicking goals in going for

clichés: “It’s not time to be slashing wrists or sacking people yet. I’d encourage everyone to keep the faith, it’s not time to jump off cliffs just yet.”

Rabbitohs captain Roy Asotasi pretty much

sums up what is wrong with a bad game of

rugby in one line: “I felt like I was playing a game of rugby union.” What caused this – 21 penalties were awarded!

And a Fox Sports commentator coming out with

this clanger, “Penrith are an extra man short.”

I’m sorry – what?

Bondies Shine in the PoolLiam Auer

Once again, Bond’s calibre of sporting talent was revealed at last week’s Australian Open Swimming Championships, which also doubled as the Commonwealth Games selection trials.

Paralympic medallist and studyholic

Annabelle Williams booked her flight to the

Commonwealth Games in Delhi, after winning

the 50 metre Freestyle and 100 metre Butterfly,

as well as finishing second in the 100 metre

Freestyle and 50 metre Butterfly. In what has

been a rather busy semester for Annabelle, she

has still managed to balance a full-time study

load with her Law degree, as well as rumours of

her becoming a movie star.

Teenager James Roberts, a Green and Gold

awardee at last year’s Australian University

Games, also tested his mettle down in Sydney,

finishing 9th in the 50 metre Freestyle, 12th

in the 100 metre Freestyle, and 15th in the

50 metre Butterfly. With sprinting becoming

increasingly dominated by veterans such as

Eamon Sullivan (25), Ashley Callus (31) and Geoff

‘Skippy’ Huegill (31), Roberts has a bright and

long future in swimming ahead.

However, Bond’s sprinting talent did not end

there. World University Games representative,

Bond’s 2009 Sportstar of the Year, and Property

student Gene Kubala finished a 13th in the 50

metre Freestyle, missing the final by a margin of

less than one second. Off to Canberra to trial a

spot at the Australian Institute of Sport, Kubala

is destined for big things over the next 18

months and is a name to watch out for.

Business Students’ Association (BSA)

Competitions Officer Sam Hourigan also

competed in the trials, narrowly missing out on

the semi-finals in the 50 metre Breaststroke by

an agonisingly small margin.

Congratulations to our superstars in the pool!

For the record, comments by the competition

organisers after the game were full of praise

towards us. They could not speak highly

enough of the appreciation they felt for some

stiff competition.

In reflection, the team has grown like

adolescent Arny Schwarzenegger on steroids

this season. With Bond entering its first ever

team, we have now grown to a squad of over

10 registered players, making a formidable

machine aiming for world domination in 2010!

Going into the game as definite underdogs this

season means there is no reason why we cannot

steamroll them next season!

14 15

Olympique Lyonnais (France) 1/50

Knocked out Real Madrid’s multi-million dollars team to reach this stage of the competition, but that’s usually as far as they go. Fancied by many as one of the outsiders to win the competition, Lyon usually crumble when facing a team of real quality. Should they beat Bordeaux to advance to the semis, a date with Manchester United will be too much for the French to handle.

Girondins Bordeaux (France) 1/60

The team that snapped Lyon’s seven year dominance of the French League, Laurent Blanc’s boys are currently France’s number one but lack European experience. Yoann Gourcuff, heir to Zidane’s throne, and Marouane Chamakh may well surprise many though, and they will use this platform to gain worldwide attention in order to move on to bigger clubs.

PFC CSKA Moskva (Russia) 1/99

The least favourite to win the tournament, CSKA Moscow’s journey should end in the hands of Inter Milan. The Russians surprised many by knocking out Sevilla in the first knockout round, and the side with promising talents such as Igor Akinfeev and Milos Krasic will find this quarter final experience a valuable one.

For a young team, that’s an unenviable task. However, this is no ordinary young team. Wenger’s boys have shown extreme maturity and a winning mentality time and time again this season. Fabregas is playing some very Cesc-y football, while much maligned Nicklas Bendtner has finally found his goal scoring boots.

team that dazzled and wowed audiences all over the world with their champagne football will be more than determined to win the Champions League on their eternal rivals’ soil, the Santiago Bernabeu stadium.

Spanish midfield duo Xavi and Iniesta orchestrated Barcelona to an unprecedented 2008/2009 season with Lionel Messi leading the attack that flattened anyone who dared to stand in front of the Barcelona steamroller. World Player of the Year Messi is scarily improving to even greater heights this season; he has scored 10 goals in the last four games.

Arsenal FC (England) 1/10

Unfortunate to be tied with Barcelona in the quarter finals. The match-up, many dub as a contest between the master and the pretender of beautiful football, is only one major obstacle Arsenal must face to lift the big-eared trophy come May. Even if they could overcome Barcelona, Arsenal would most likely have to face Italian giants Inter and Manchester United in the corresponding rounds.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE BETTING GUIDE Here it goes again: Europe’s premier club competition is nearing its climax. In less than two months time, the Champions League final will be contested by two of Europe’s finest in the legendary Santiago Bernabeu stadium in Madrid.

With the quarter final ties drawn and teams already mapping out their paths to the final, this year’s Champions League is the most diverse in recent years with representatives from six countries.It could also promise to be one of the most exciting as the final stages of the competition no longer resemble English Premier League matches.

Without further ado, here are my take on the favourites to win the Champions League:

Manchester United FC (England) 1/3

Tied favourites with Barcelona to capture their third Champions League crown thanks to a relatively easy path to the final. Barring a major upset in their quarter-final match up against Bayern Munich and a potential semi-final date with French giants Lyon or Bordeaux, a repeat of last year’s thrilling final against world beaters Barcelona seems likely.

If that is the case, then expect the tactical mastermind that is Sir Alex Ferguson to out think young Pep Guardiola this time around. The absence of Cristiano Ronaldo is quickly forgotten with the emergence of Wayne Rooney’s head, and the Red Devils will love nothing more than to have revenge against the Catalans.

FC Barcelona (Spain) 1/3

No team has won the Champions League twice in succession since AC Milan in 1989/1990. Manchester United came close last season only to lose out to Barcelona, and you get the feeling that Barcelona are more than capable of defending their title. The

Andra Nasrie

FC Internazionale (Italy) 1/20

Italy’s best team at the moment have been perennial underachievers in Europe’s top club competition with not a single title to their name. Always a squad of world class players at their disposal, Inter would need a lot more of Mourinho’s genius to negotiate their way to victory. The Special One has won it with Porto in 2004, but it remains to be seen if he could repeat the feat in a high pressure atmosphere of a much bigger club.

FC Bayern Munchen (Germany) 1/35

Bayern Munich fans felt hard done by their

2-1 defeat to Manchester United in 1999’s

dramatic final. While revenge against United

could be a driving factor for the Bavarians, it

seems unlikely that they will even get past

the Red Devils. The gap in quality between

two teams is just too great and Bayern

Munich should just focus on recapturing the

Bundesliga title.

16 17

Feature

crowd. Not wanting to subject our ears to what seemed like a musical holocaust, we promptly moved forth to the Wetlands Bar to waste more money on overpriced drinks. Soon enough though, it was Gaga time, and we filed into the arena and struggled our way through the crowd to a prime position, on the left side of the stage. But despite being surrounded by scores of attractive, hopefully legal-aged girls, we felt like we were at a funeral. The crowd was excited, but subdued. As our posse tried to fire up the punters, we realised we were the only ones jumping and dancing, and we became very self-conscious, very quickly, as one would expect. When Gaga told the crowd to “get your cocks out” as she simulated male masturbation on herself, we thought back to the poor child outside the arena, and how her mother must have been very happy with her decision.

It’s tough to fault Gaga’s performance. There’s no denying she put on a sensational show, and hit every note she needed to. However, during the stretches of the set where she played anything that wasn’t a hit single, the crowd didn’t know what to do. In fact, the short interludes she took for costume changes, where odd videos of women vomiting blue shit all over Gaga while she literally ate someone’s heart, backed by impressive dance remixes of God-knows-what, got more out of the crowd than most of her set. Fortunately, the hits were everything you could hope for. ‘Bad Romance’, in particular, finally brought the crowd to life, although as a set closer, it was far too

Opinion

What is there to say about Lady Gaga that hasn’t been said? Is she the new Madonna? Is she an anti-mainstream plant who weaselled her way into public consciousness to tear it down from the inside? Is she a female Tyler Durden, a cultural icon who has become everything everyone secretly wants to be, constructing her own reality and pulling those around her into it? Or is she just another brainless, shallow pop star, created by record companies and followed by insecure morons like lamb to a slaughter? There was only one way to find out for sure – see her live.

Saturday was the second of Lady Gaga’s two concerts at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre, on her Monster Ball world tour. And in the end, it wasn’t really all that brilliant. What killed the concert, for us, was the crowd. Quite frankly, we don’t know where to start. From the train ride into Brisbane, to the bars in the Entertainment

Centre, to the “moshpit” where we spent the majority of the night, the general population acted as a large, mobile self-esteem booster.

Let us explain. In the courtyard outside the centre, a mother had brought her daughter, who couldn’t have been more than six years old, and the poor thing was dressed to the teeth in Gaga garb. As they loitered around the area, passer-by after passer-by stopped to take a photo of and/or with the girl, who eventually had enough of the paparazzi attention and sought her mother’s refuge. We don’t know what was more disappointing – the fact that a mother would allow her daughter to be treated as a freak show for the masses, or the fact that the masses queued up in large numbers to have a photo with the kid while scaring the bejesus out of her.

After a serious of outrageously priced rum and cokes - $10 for a can of Bundy is ridiculous under any circumstances – we moved inside. As we walked past the doors, we heard the support act, Semi Precious Weapons, playing what they considered music to warm up the

Dan Pierce and Vinnie Rugari

late. The lengthy rendition of ‘Speechless’ she played, stretched over a flaming piano, was a particular highlight. But unfortunately, for all she promised, Lady Gaga’s highlights were just that – moments of brilliance in an otherwise unremarkable show.

Vince Rugari: 7.0/10.0

Dan’s addendum:

Well I’d like to start by saying that I agree with the substance of Vince’s analysis. I would however like to emphasise certain events that I bore witness to on that fateful night. Firstly, despite the several reassurances by Gaga herself that the ‘freaks were on the outside of the arena tonight’ (her words), my experience

However, during the stretches of the set where she played anything that wasn’t a hit single, the crowd didn’t know what to do. told me otherwise. That’s not to say that I’m a

conservative prude in any way, but one would logically assume that if you dolled up in the Lady’s finest range of outlandish apparel that you would, at the very least, carry some of that fanatic zeal to the moshpit. In other words, dance, you freaky fuckers, when your God and idol tells you to. Essentially, the Haus of Gaga was the sum of its parts – those parts unfortunately being a lacklustre horde of underwhelming social outcasts.

Dan Pierce: 8.5/10.0

Lady Gaga - Live in Brisbane

1918

It’s difficult to point out standout tracks on this album, but ‘Landscape at Speed’ slightly edged the others. This song would be the best that a collaboration of Portishead, Nick Cave, and a mellow Muse could produce. Energetic yet haunting, the song evokes a multitude of emotions and you will find yourself involuntarily immersed in it.

As many music aficionados (or snobs) would say, you have to look past mainstream music and dig deep underground to find truly meaningful music. Actually, I said that. And it’s true. If I hadn’t spent hours and hours trawling through last.fm (great website, check it out!), I would’ve never heard Shearwater on the radio or seen their music videos on TV. Praise science, for it gave us the Internet.

--Andra Nasrie

9.2/10.0

Los Campesinos! – Romance is Boring

You should know what to expect from Los Campesinos! just by the aesthetics. Their name (they’re Welsh), their overly wordy, smartarse song titles, their general air of energetic, admitted immaturity – they’re not for everyone. Some find their self-absorbed, childish view at relationships grating, while others stand and applaud them for giving an often-neglected voice a moment in the spotlight. Romance is Boring is their third album (or second, depending on your definition of album), and easily their best yet – it’s instant yet a grower, it’s complex yet catchy, and while it’s cohesive and works well as an whole, each of its 13 tracks could stand, proudly, on its own.

Musically, Los Campesinos! have been called all kinds of things – twee, indie pop, rock, punk-pop, lo-fi, etc. The list goes on, and, is quite frankly, irrelevant, and serves only as ego masturbation for wannabe hipsters. The best way to describe them is if early Green Day and Panic at the Disco, by some miracle of science, had a non-retarded, actually talented, more indie baby.

The level of immaturity in that metaphor should have you prepared for the content of the music. Lead singer Gareth Campesinos! and his bag of uncomfortably honest, often juvenile, and structurally wild lyrics are the main attraction, and bring to the fore the wisdom of youth. Think Alex Turner circa ‘Mardy Bum’, but as a 13-year-old who’s had too much red cordial, and a touch more cynicism. “I think we need more post-coital/and less post-rock/seems like the build-up takes forever/but you never touch my cock”, for instance, from ‘Straight in at 101’, is just the tip of the iceberg. A belated addition to the indie scene, I feel, are football-related lyrics and metaphors. OK, so “Every girl I ever kissed, I was thinking of a pro-footballer” from ‘We’ve Got Your Back’ is a bit much, but “This opportunity left me unmarked at the far post” from ‘This is a Flag. There is no Wind.’ is poetry in motion. More, I say.

--Vinnie Rugari

7.6/10.0

It’s quite a shame that I’ve only just discovered this indie trio given that they have been around since the turn of the millennium. The once-hidden gem had me hooked from the first note of their new album, The Golden Archipelago.

Lead singer and songwriter Jonathan Meiburg is a graduate student in ornithology – the study of birds. It comes as no surprise then that there are underlying themes of nature to Shearwater’s music. What came as a surprise was how each song flowed naturally on their own, as well as in relation to every other song. Put simply, there wasn’t a bad song on the album.

In fact, they were all quite mind-blowing. From album opener ‘Meridian’ to closer ‘Missing Islands,’ The Golden Archipelago’s consistency makes it one of the top albums of 2010. Unlike most indie albums, this album is also very accessible from the get go. I can’t even say the same about Radiohead, undoubtedly the greatest band in the world.

Shearwater – The Golden Archipelago

Review

Circle of Contempt – Artifacts in MotionI think this review will make my submissions to Scope about 50/50 metal and non-metal. Avid readers of Scope may start to get pissy about my absolute love of metal, and start wanting me to review some more ‘general’ styles of music. However, I was recently having a conversation with a friend regarding metal. She is by no means a fan of metal, but appreciates the music. “The music is amazing, but I just don’t like the singing,” she said. I wholeheartedly agree with her observation.

I love metal. I love the skill and creativity that is involved in such a niche genre. Circle of Contempt brings some real flavour to a saturated market. It could be the fact that CoC are from a remote area of Finland, or a true sign of originality. Nevertheless, it is when there is something great that metal really attunes itself with the listener; and CoC does this extremely well.

This album made me laugh. It is the first time, in a very long time, that I haven’t immediately been able to understand the vocalist. Does this turn me away from the album? Not at all. I have never heard such beautiful use of harmonised screaming in my time. The second track, ‘Nothing Imminent’, shows CoC’s ability to make powerful and moving music through harmonised screaming.

A track I can recommend to the non-metal fans is ‘Prelude to the Implication’. This will support my discussion earlier of great music being unappreciated by ‘unpleasing’ vocals. This track is an instrumental, and encompasses both a trance/metal essence. I’d recommend getting it, and just including it on your rock playlist and see if you can pick it out as a horrible metal track. I firmly believe you will be greatly surprised at the beauty it entails.

The rest of CoC is not aurally pleasing to the masses. However, if you want to sit in your little box listening to the latest house/electro release and try to justify to yourself that is in some way, shape or form different from every other release out there. [I have an extensive music background, so before you even think of saying “all metal sounds the same”, I would strongly recommend to you that you do your research.]

I took the time to make an educated choice of the music I listen to and I suggest you do the same.

----Peter Clayton

8.2/10.0

Scope ReviewFaithless - The Dance You’re reading this because you’re after good quality music right? Don’t stuff around with that softcore Temper Trap, you need something that’s going to get your bodily organs hard or wet - depending on what gender you are.

Let’s get something set in concrete, David Guetta is the Dixie Chicks compared to electro duo Faithless. That’s right, Faithless, one third buddhist rapper and the other third being stunning DJ Sister Bliss and Dido’s brother Rollo, who have created another ear-orgasming baby called The Dance.

I’m a bit of a regular listener to Pete Tong’s weekly dance segment that highlights the newest dance tracks in the world, but my entrails shot out of me when I heard the Eric Prydz remix of the old Faithless track ‘Not Going Home’ on the show. I think Pete Tong popped several disco biscuits in his radio booth when he played it - but that’s between you and me. This track is one of the album’s additions.

Now this isn’t just some EP or remix that they are releasing, this is a complete album of ear candy music, the type you usually only find toward the end of a Daft Punk concert. First, let’s get the contributing artists for the album out of the way, remember how I mentioned the Temper Trap? Well their lead singer Dougy Mandagi makes his royal appearance on here, so does Faithless regular Dido (I know you’ve heard of her) and classical voice Mia Maestro, but nothing beats buddhist rapper Maxi Jazz with his melancholic rhymes, especially in conjunction to the astounding dance backgrounds sampled in the album.

Back to the trackside of the album, the starter and clear ear warmer being ‘Not Going Home’, and then ‘Feel Me’ uses the taste of those female vocals so present in Faithless’ old tracks while sticking with the fresher and faster tracks such as Armin Van Buuren’s remix - oh and if you don’t know who he is he was only rated the world’s number one DJ for 07, 08 and 09. I’m not telling you anymore, you can wait and listen to it for yourself when it comes out on May 14. This is going to be big when it is released, if it’s not then I oblige you to hit me.----Peter Clayton

9.0/10.0

2120

Bits & Pieces

Words without thought

At the Movies• “Are Saving Private Ryan and Private Ryan two different films?” -- Asked of a moviegoer, referring to the theater’s marquee,

that displayed abbreviated film titles due to a lack of letters.

• “For The Lion King, you have shows at 11:45 and at 12:15. Does that mean it’s a half-hour long?” -- Asked by a customer of a multiplex.

• “Can I still have a ticket? I’ll find a seat.” -- Asked by a customer after being told a particular showing of a movie was sold out.

Video Stores• “Do you sell butter dishes? Why not?” -- Asked by a customer. • “Diapers! I need diapers!” -- Demanded by a customer,

gesturing angrily and waving his arms around.

Shopping• “I need blades for this.” -- Woman, holding up a belt sander. • “Do you carry blades that can go over rocks?” -- Woman,

buying her third lawn mower blade in two weeks.

• “Do you have wheels?” -- Customer who, when questioned as to what type of wheels, replied, “You know! Wheels!”

• “I don’t think we got any of that, but we got Skoal.” -- A grocery store clerk, after being asked where the oregano would be.

Transportation• “What time does the 7 o’clock ferry leave?” • “We might be late because of bad weather. If we are, would you hold the ship until we get there?” -- A man on the phone

with a ferry service.

• “It depends. Are you coming from the north or south?” -- A man, when asked if one should turn east or west after getting off the freeway.

• “Horizon proudly donates a portion of the proceeds from our complimentary in-flight service to the preservation of Glacier National Park.” -- A flight attendant, describing Horizon Airline’s complimentary beverage and snack service.

• “Are you going by bus?” -- Asked by a bus driver, when asked to let a passenger know when they got to Masson Street.

Signs and Notices:• “How To Repair Your VCR.” -- The title of a how-to video tape. • “Great New Taste!” and “Same Great Taste!” -- On opposite sides of a

drink cooler in a grocery store.

• “Watch Blow Out” -- A sign outside a jewelry store. • “Ears pierced while you wait.” -- A sign in a shop. • “Free Parking ($1.50 per day)” -- A sign at a parking lot in Ocean City,

Maryland.

• “Please! No walking allowed without membership card.” -- A sign in a mall.

• “If you can’t read or write, phone this number.” • “Lunch and Learn Seminar: ‘Who’s controlling your life?’ (get your

manager’s permission before attending)” -- The contents of a flyer for corporate seminar.

• “Warning: Dangerous Area. No Trespassing Without Permission From Main Office.” -- A sign outside a lumber yard in Troy, Idaho.

• “Be Kind -- Please Rewind.” -- A label on a DVD disc at a rental. • “We are sorry, but these toilets are out of action. Please use floor.”

-- A sign on a shopping center’s restroom door, indicating that the restroom was closed. The sign was intended to give directions to the nearest open restroom, but the staff had forgotten to fill in the blank.

• “We expect to return to normal service the soonest time possible.

22 23

THURSDAY 8TH APRILWEEK 12

RES DINNER 101

Minimum legal age 18 years. Photo I.D required. Management reserves all rights. Bond University Student Association supports responsible drinking. www.bondstudents.com.au

With the best

after parties in town

at The Bedroom &

SinCity Nightclubs

Free return buses leave from

Don’s Tavern at midnight

C L E A N E R S : P L E A S E D O N O T R E M O V E U N T I L 9 T H A P R I L 2 0 1 0

6.30pm in the

Princeton Ro

om

(Lockout 7pm

)

Join Campus L

ife for a

celebration of

all things Res

,

including unv

eiling of Res

Wars Champio

ns in 101

Cost: Free for a

ll residents, oth

erwise $20 cash

Sign up in the A

ccommodation

Office,

or online at bo

ndstudents.co

m.au

by Monday 5th

April.

Note: $50 from

meal card for

non-attendanc

e if RSVP’d.

PRIZES

FOR BEST

DRESSED!

HOT OR

NOTHOT

The Footy Show, tonight at midnight on Channel 9

The Sam Newman open-palm pointSam's MailbagHipster RunoffDennis Denuto

The ValleyYEAH MAN

Academic dishonestyOdd thongsBraces at 19

Jesse Jane

NOT

Not watching The Footy Show tonight

The crowd at Lady Gaga

Exams

OB Groups

Salary cap breaches

Enrollment

Broken headphones

Death

Toilets in the batlabs

Racism

Jesse James