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INTRODUCTION Prior to the late nineteenth century, divorce was shunned in practice and controlled by strict governmental regulations. However, the percentage of marriages that end in divorce rose from five percent, for 1867 to the mid-1960s, to thirty-six percent in 1964, the time of the divorce revolution (Furstenberg 1994). Since this time, the rates of divorce have continued to rise. Therefore divorce has infiltrated the family system and has become prevalent in analysis of child development. As those children affected by the divorce revolution of the sixties are now fully involved with the adult world of marriage and parenthood, the long- term effects of parental divorce can be more thoroughly studied. One study stated that parental divorce increases the likelihood for children divorcing within the first five years of marriage by 70% (Amato 1996). Thus, the study of the effects of divorce on children’s future relationships is not inconsequential, and hopefully identifying the inherent problems with the institution of divorce will provide explanation for the current state of the family. Also, 1

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INTRODUCTION ~1 PAGE

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INTRODUCTION

Prior to the late nineteenth century, divorce was shunned in practice and controlled by strict governmental regulations. However, the percentage of marriages that end in divorce rose from five percent, for 1867 to the mid-1960s, to thirty-six percent in 1964, the time of the divorce revolution (Furstenberg 1994). Since this time, the rates of divorce have continued to rise. Therefore divorce has infiltrated the family system and has become prevalent in analysis of child development. As those children affected by the divorce revolution of the sixties are now fully involved with the adult world of marriage and parenthood, the long-term effects of parental divorce can be more thoroughly studied. One study stated that parental divorce increases the likelihood for children divorcing within the first five years of marriage by 70% (Amato 1996). Thus, the study of the effects of divorce on childrens future relationships is not inconsequential, and hopefully identifying the inherent problems with the institution of divorce will provide explanation for the current state of the family. Also, understanding of the residual effects of divorce can help clarify the details of the perpetual nature of conflict and possibly outline solutions. This study aims to identify the different factors that contribute to a childs marital desires that are influenced by parental divorce. In the process, a childs ability to form and maintain stable intimate relationships is analyzed through the presence of trust and communication. Also, a correlation is explored between stable parental relationships and a childs acceptance of divorce and value of marriage. Thus, this study will examine specifically the causal association of the process of parental divorce and childrens ability to form stable interpersonal relationships.

LITERATURE REVIEW

In assessing how divorce will affect the lives of children, studies focus on how these children view divorce in comparison to those coming from intact households. Paul Amato found that children of divorce are more likely to have anxiety about marriage. Although the actual desire to get married is not affected, the process to arrive at this point proceeds with much more caution for those coming from divorced households. Views of marriage are less romanticized and cohabitation is much more likely for children of divorce (Amato 1988). In addition, individuals coming from reconstituted households foresaw the possibility of divorce in their future as more real than those who had no experience with divorce (Gerrand and Kinnaird 1986). Studies theorize that the level of conflict and disruption in a childs background determines the level of apprehension about marriage.

A study conducted by Amato, Loomis, and Booth showed that the future well-being of the child depended on the level of conflict present before the divorce. With high parental conflict, children are better off with divorce than if the parents remained married. Conversely, divorce without high levels of conflict has more negative effects on the childrens well-being. Conflict in a parental marriage results in negative consequences for the child because it is a direct stressor, eliciting responses of fear, anger and aggression in children, and it harms the parent-child relationship (Amato, Spencer, and Booth 1995).

These relationships are very important in the social development of the child. Coleman and Ganong showed that higher family integration resulted in more positive views of marriage and less favorable views of divorce (Coleman and Ganong 1984). The disruption that conflict and divorce bring into the parent-child relationship interrupts the interpersonal development of the child. Thus, these children frequently lack effective communication skills and possess traits such as distrust and jealousy. These characteristics will have a drastic effect on the childs ability to develop and maintain intimate relationships. Thus, disrupting the childs social development with conflict and divorce predisposes the child for lower quality relationships (Amato 1996). The childs relational ability is also developed through parental modeling. Within a high conflict household, children are taught to solve problems through conflict rather than discussion (Amato, Spencer, and Booth 1995). Another result of improper parental modeling comes from single parent homes (a situation following divorce), in which a child is not presented with adequate modeling of a stable relationship (Booth, Brinkerhoff, and White 1984). In this case, if a divorced parent remarries into a good relationship this provides a good role model for the child and inevitably results in high family integration, consistent with the views expressed by Coleman and Ganong above.

In his article Explaining the Intergenerational Transmission of Divorce, Paul Amato states that the likelihood of divorce rises to the extent that various factors decrease the rewards derived from the marriage, weaken the barriers to leaving the marriage, and increase the alternatives to the marriage (628). The factors outlined above involving conflict and parental modeling affects the childs ability to form and maintain intimate relationships. Relative to Amatos definition, these factors would lower the satisfaction within the marriage. As stated above, children who have experienced a parental divorce see it as an acceptable solution to large disagreements within the marriage. Favorable attitudes toward divorce are strongly correlated with the likelihood that individuals will end their marriage in divorce. Finally, Amato explores the alternatives to marriage such as cohabitation and individual socioeconomic attainment. Children of divorce are more likely to cohabit before marriage, mainly due to their less conventional beliefs toward marriage and divorce. Also, as a result of the divorce, mothers many times have to support their family through full-time employment. Through this model, children learn the advantages of self-sufficient behavior. This attitude, if held strongly by females, can cause disagreements in future relationships due to the liberal nature of the opinion (Amato 1996).

Although some studies infer that the childs age at divorce has no effect, nothing concrete has yet been determined. Thus far, literature and studies have focused mainly on general problems associated with parental divorce. These studies set up the backbone for work to be done examining the specific qualities children of divorce acquired through the process.

RESEARCH QUESTIONS/HYPOTHESES

The intent of this study was to examine the effects of divorce on college-aged womens views of marriage. The goal was to isolate what aspects of the divorce process alter a childs outlook, personality, and their ability to form relationships. Also, the study aimed to find a correlation between desirable age for marriage and the reasons behind that age, as well as the magnitude of volatile parental relationships. Moreover, an examination of the childrens expectation for or consideration of the option of divorce in their own futures would give insight into the importance of parental modeling of a stable relationship at some point. In the process, other factors could be identified, which effect marriage views, either in spite of or in addition to the effects of divorce.

DATA AND METHODS

Information was gathered through semi-structured interviews. All individuals interviewed were females enrolled in colleges in North Carolina. Prior to completion of the interviews, there was difficulty finding enough males to use in the study, in contrast to the number of females. Therefore, only females were interviewed. Interviewees ranged through all class levels, from freshman to senior. Five groups of interviews were established and two interviews were conducted for each group. These groups were: parents who never divorced, parents who divorced before schools started, parents who divorced during elementary school, parents who divorced during middle school, and parents who divorced during high school. The first group was used as a comparison for the effects of divorce. For all individuals with divorced parents, we required that at least one parent have remarried. The interviews were based on a guide, but each interviewer had the liberty to follow the conversation and adapt the interview to the situation. The interviews were completed over a span of three to four works. The interview length ranged from fifteen minutes to one hour, and most took place in the late afternoon or evening. Two of the ten interviews took place online, and the other eight took place in dorm rooms or college houses/apartments.

Analysis of the interviews was completed by coding the interviews and identifying common themes. During the analysis process, follow-up questions were asked of certain interviewees for clarification of previous answers. The information in these interviews provided the basis for conclusions drawn about the effects of divorce on college-aged womens views of marriage.

FINDINGS

In the interviews, each person was asked to describe both their ideal dating partner and their ideal marriage partner. Most of the women interviewed equated the two, as one girl said, I would want them [husband] to have all the same qualities that I would want in a dating partner, and another made the reference that when you aredating arent you kind of alwayslooking for your life long partner? Based on these comments, dating is taken as a trial period for marriage. Thus, any characteristics individuals express within their dating relationships are a predictor for their future marital relations. Analyzing past and current relationships in this manner also allows for a clearer picture of the individuals opinions (conscious or unconscious) towards commitment and divorce.

The Effects of Parental Communication on Children

Through the study, we found that the extent of parental communication affects childrens ability to trust. Only two out of eight females from reconstituted families have parents that actively communicate on a regular basis. Of those that communicate often, one subject has parents that remarried themselves and admits that her parents communicate more now than in their previous marriage together. I think there is just like more communication and understanding like there was always love you know I mean that is the reason I think they made it um work and like got back together. Furthermore, of those six females whose parents do not communicate often, four only keep contact with one another at all because of their children. Most of the time, their communication is due to both parents desire to be actively involved in their childrens lives by attending events, spending time with them, and often because of child support issues. One female responds to the question, Do your parents really interact much now? by explaining,

Um, just with me. They have had to do a little bit of interacting because of Jacobs

stuffand every now and then, when I was in high school, there would be sometimes issues about visitation and you know, every now and thenshe thought that my dad was making me too guilty for, you know, just wanting to stay home for a friends birthday party or somethingthey make nice small talk when they would drop me off.

Due to their parents lack of communication, children feel somewhat in the middle of their parents unresolved conflict. Often, parents even attempt to communicate through their children, avoiding contact with the other parent all together. One subject even attributes her parents actions and lack of communication to affecting the trust and commitment she maintains in her own relationships.

I just think in the very beginning it is hard for me (commitment) and I know it all goes back to stuff from my parentsI know it doesI felt in the middle a lot. And it, it wasnt purposeful, but the fact that like you know, they didnt talk because you know, my mom would talk to me and my dad would talk to me, you know, and and not that they expected me to tell the other one or like really answer their questions, but I was definitely in the middle.

Parents who have decided to forego communication with their ex-spouses often do so due to a disruptive relationship, which causes further trust issues within their children. Females in the study with parents that did not communicate very often reported significantly more fighting and disruption of family life than those whose parents are still able to communicate. One female describes the only memory of her parents together as a cause of her own issues with trust. Um, they [her parents] separated when I was three years old. I only have one memory of them together and it is of them fighting, um, so I guess thats my earliest memory. Similarly, other disruptive behaviors involved within the parents relationships such as alcohol and abuse that hinder parents desire to communicate after a divorce further cause lack of communication within their childrens relationships due to their inability to trust. One subject, whose parents divorced as a young child, before she started school, describes her father as having a habit of doing drugs and abusing alcohol, which explains her issues with trust within her own dating history. I really didnt trust the guy I was dating and after I accused him of cheating on me, he said that since we didnt have enough trust in our relationship, then we needed to take a break.

Instead of using communication skills as a way to overcome the trust problems with her dating partner, they decided to break up the relationship.

In contrast, the two females observed whose parents have always been married describe the marriage working because of their ability to communicate. One of them emphasizes that her parents make their relationship work through forgiveness and attempted communication, which sometimes helps them resolve conflict and sometimes not, but nevertheless, their communication keeps their marriage strong. As a result, she feels no reason to mistrust her parents or furthermore, have any issues with trusting her dating partners. Similarly, the other subject from an intact family describes the communication between her parents as one of the key aspects of their marriage. They always talk on the phone and like if they get into an argument I mean it is resolved real quick, immediately like usually in the same um conversation. In turn, she has learned how to communicate through her parents example and is able to incorporate these lessons into her own dating patterns, even her current long-distance relationship.

It is hard sometimes because we miss each other and like if we get into like well I dont want to say a fight but like he wont want me to go to one of my sorority mixers cause like he feels too old like after 25 to go to college functions as he calls them but like he um is starting to realize you know that like this is the part of my life like what is going on with me and we are both just dealing with little um tiffs over the phone.

All of the children from reconstituted families whose parents do not have any communication with one another tend to experience one of two things: the lack of communication within their own relationships or they make a conscious effort to communicate with their dating partners, unlike their own parents, conveying their own sense of agency. One female indicates her lack of communication as the cause of the end of her three month relationship. Then, after a couple of weeks I realized that he thought we were dating and I didnt! But I am really non-confrontational and never wanted to deal with it. On the other hand, although less prevalent, some of our studies show a sense of agency within the children to behave differently from their parents. One female defines her relationship as good because of their ability to communicate. Like communication is the biggest thing that I would really want in a relationship and thats something that we have, which I guess is another reason you could say it was good or whatever. She further explains the importance of communication in every relationship. Due to her on-going communication with her mother, she was able to overcome many of her trust issues by learning from her mothers mistakes. Thus, not only does parental communication contribute to their childrens attitudes toward marriage, but also their communication with their children.

Ive always had trouble trusting men I think, butas thoughts were trying to develop; my mom would like stop them. She was like, No you cant let this happen like I always had trouble trusting men because of my dad and like look where it got me like I dont want this to happen to you.

Thus, our study found that overall better parental modeling of communication leads to more communication within a childs own interpersonal relationships, which in turn, leads to more stability and trust.

Effects of an Absentee Parent

Another important aspect in post-divorce interactions is each parents involvement with their children. Four out of the eight interviewees who experienced divorce described one of their parents as absentee. Within this study, an absentee parent is defined as any biological parent who does not actively participate in the life of their child through either financial or emotional means, particularly in the area of communication and support. Out of these four cases, all had absentee fathers. However, the second interviewee was unique because her mother could also be qualified as an absentee parent. The interviewee lived with her grandparents not too long after the divorce because her mother continued to remarry the wrong type, which led to further divorce. Since she was not completely classified as an absentee parent by our definition, and because the interviewee did not specifically refer to her in such a manner, she will be excluded from further discussion.

In one case, the decline in the father-daughter relationship was not one-sided. The first interviewee said she visited with her father on holidays and when he talks about how [she doesnt] spend enough time with him. However, she still sees her father, which wasnt the case for the other three. The second interviewee has not seen her father in two years because he chose to ignore his kids after the divorce and doesnt mention any efforts towards communication. The third interviewee has a strained relationship with her father to the point that the mention of him brought tears to her eyes. The fourth interviewee has not seen her father in four years and only talks to him online every other week.

Overall, none of these girls have a good role model in their fathers. In reference to her dad, the third interviewee said, I know he loves me and I know he loves my sister and I know heI mean, he does things for us, you know, he did participate in some aspects of our lives. Deep down, hes not somebody Id want to be. The fourth interviewee said that the only thing thats really changed about me from what my dad has done is like, I want my marriage to be a lot different with likemy husband. When asked to describe their ideal dating partner and ideal marriage partner, each of the respondents have similar answers, revolving around being trustworthy, sharing a deep connection (mentally, spiritually, etc.), affectionate, and someone that makes them feel secure, which contrasts completely with their descriptions of their father. The first said, My dad is a hard worker, when he wants to be, not a good role model in my book, a promise breaker, a liar, a cheater. He claims he is a changed man but he disappoints people a lot. He has a good heart but when he was drinking and doing drugs, the worst came out of him. Even though he has cleaned himself up, it is still hard to trust the words that come out of his mouth. The second said, Like he is an immature loser whoI meancant figure out his own life and like he ignored me and my brother after they got a divorce and like his whole family like banned against me and I meanI havent talked to him since the beginning of what, like senior year.

Each of these girls made reference to trust issues. The fourth interviewee stated that [shes] always had trouble trusting men. This trust issue with men more than likely arises from the absence of their fathers as strong role models upon which to base their views on men. The counteraction of these trust issues has to do with the stability and solidity of parental remarriage. The father of the first interviewee along with father and mother of the second interviewee had remarried multiple times. Thus, they did not have a good role model of marriage. The first interviewee still had a stable mother figure and she desires to get married, just in her late twenties in order to obtain independence between her educational attainment and marriage. However, the second interviewee did not have stable parents or a solid marriage to shape her views on marriage, which explains why she said that the jurys still out when asked if she wanted to get married. The third interviewee was exactly the opposite. Her mother remarried into a solid and stable relationship with her step-father, who later adopted her. Her mother used communication, as discussed previously, to counteract her trust issues, but also, her step-dad basically replaced her father as the male role model, which can be seen as she references him as my dadI meanmy step-dad. She demonstrates more trust in the constitution of marriage, with her desirable age for marriage being in the early twenties.

Mother Bias and the Importance of Independence before Marriage

Since this study focuses on female child outcome following divorce, it is appropriate to examine the girls relationships with their mothers. These women model behavior, good or bad, that their daughters will mirror in their own relationships.

First of all, the role of the wife as a decision maker can be seen through the decision to divorce. Of the eight divorces examined in this study, three resulted from conflict of interest, two resulted from intolerance for a dead beat husband (lack of financial support, characterized by laziness and alcohol abuse), and three resulted from infidelity (two of which were due to the fathers actions). In each of these cases, the wife had an equal part in the divorce decision and in four cases the initial decision rested solely with the wife. Having a female take the initiative to change a situation for her personal well-being, this being contrary to traditional marital norms, begins a pattern of self-sufficient behavior. Daughters supported their mothers in their decision to pursue personal happiness rather than settle for a degrading marriage. As one respondent stated, I wanted her to get a divorcewould sit at night and pray that she would leave my dad cause I just didnt like her being with him. She just wasnt happyI just didnt wanna see her like that. In seven of these eight cases, the daughter lived with her mother following the divorce. Five of these either stated directly or implied through negative descriptions of their fathers that they chose or desired to live with their mother. This decision on the daughters part is important to note in that it shows respect for the mother and will result in greater incorporation of the mothers example into the daughters own life.

When asked to describe their parents, respondents coming from divorced households gave more descriptive and positive accounts of their mothers. As one woman stated, My mom is a strong independent woman, very successful, very demanding at times. She is intelligent, and she can be a very good leader. Supportive, encouraging, a good role modelthats my mom. This individual then went on to describe her father, My dad is a hard worker, when he wants to be, not a good role model in my book, a promise breaker, a liar, a cheater. This contrast in description is consistent with those women who chose to live with their mothers following the divorce. Even in the case of the individual who lived with her father following the divorce, the mother served as a role model of female ambition as she left in order to follow her dreams. The common occurrence of the words independent and hard-working in the descriptions of the mother give insight into what role the mother typically was required to take following the divorce. As a single parent, a mother must satisfy all the needs of her children without the help of a husband. One example is the description that My real mom is very independentshe provided. Thus, in order to ensure a successful childhood, single mothers had to show determination, intelligence, and strength. The biological mother continued to express these traits, even after being remarried. Modeling this attitude encourages daughters to require the same freedom and independence in their own relationship.

The influence of a mothers modeling of independence can be seen through young womens desired age for marriage. Most individuals coming from divorced households stated the earliest they wanted to get married as 26-27 years old. Although not much different, the two women coming form intact households stated 24-25 years old. What were more drastic in comparison were the reasons for a slightly later age. Within the interview, the women were not required or asked to explain their age answer. However, those coming from divorced households many times included clear reasons. One girl states her reason for later marriage clearly: Because I will be finished with school, but it gives mebasically enough time to get myself together so I dont have to depend on a man to take care of me. Another mentions that she has goalslike finish college and get a jobI dont want to be married until Ive like already settled like my own career. Moreover, one respondent believes that she will meet her future husband when she is in the position that she desires when she has established her independence. These comments and desires point back to the point at which a male figure failed to properly provide and a woman had to pick up the slack. In a sense, by immediately establishing their independence and need for personal satisfaction from the beginning, these young women are trying to avoid a degree of the problems their mothers were faced with upon the separation. For those individuals coming from divorced households, the possibility of divorce is real to them. None of those interviewed claimed that they would go into marriage wanting a future divorce, but children of divorce expressed more relaxed approval of divorce and had an easier time foreseeing it in their futures. As one girl noted, I would love to say no [to ever divorcing], but yesit is a definite possibility. I mean, a lot of people in my family have gotten divorcedit seems pretty common. Thus, girls coming from divorced households see a need to protect themselves from this reality, to prepare a self-sufficient lifestyle to ensure stability for whatever relationships bring.

In addition to their pre-marriage desires, women coming from divorced households also gave slightly different descriptions of their ideal dating/marriage partner. All of those interviews, no matter their family background, cited common characteristics like loving, humorous, and even good looking. However, children of divorce also included that they desired their boyfriend/husband to be supportive, trustworthy, and respectful. As one woman described her ideal, someone who respects me and what Im all about and doesnt try to change me. One respondent, when asked what television show best described her marriage desires, she said the Cosby show because they have a good family. The father and the mother are both successful. They take turns when it comes to dealing with the kids and their problems. They are supportive of each other. Thus, these women who are on a quest for independence before marriage plan on maintaining that independence and self-sufficient lifestyle following their potential weddings.

Strength of Opposition to Divorce due to Parent Relationships

Each woman had the same general feelings about divorce. (quote) It was something none of them wanted to go through but if in an extreme situation, like abuse, adultery, or just general detriment to their own or their childrens well being, which were the reasons mentioned for a divorce and something can not be fixed or worked on then they would consider divorce a possibility. The strength of these feelings did vary however between interviewees due to what they witnessed and were involved with in their parents relationship(s). The women most open to the idea of divorce or in a couple of cases the inevitability of divorce, were from women out of our sample who had experienced the most difficult, conflict ridden divorces or had experienced numerous divorces in their lives and the lives of those closest to them. These three women were also the only three interviewed who either were not sure about marriage in the future of one of which was adamantly opposed to ever getting married.

In each of these cases the women witnessed and were unwillingly drawn into their parents fighting and divorces. In one case, the father committed adultery and her parents who never really communicated, fought all of the time when they were married and could not leave her and her brother out of the problems. The involvement went beyond just the parents fighting as the situation was further complicated as her fathers family was very involved. They supported her fathers behavior and even went as far as blaming her mother and herself for his actions. As for the fighting and confrontations his family, her extended family placed all blame on her and her attitude. This first experience for her was in elementary school; her mother has since been re-married and divorced now on her third marriage and her parents and families have lost all communication. She has never experienced a positive healthy marriage in her life and because of this is very wary of marriage in her future. When asked whether she would consider a divorce, if ever married she replied, Yes if he wasnt respecting me or like he was abusive Or like if it is a situation when like everyone is miserable yeah I mean I dont want to go into my marriage being like yeah I could see this lastin like 3 years, ladies, double or nothing you know but like if it happened I dont see it like a horrible thing or anything. But after like 2 shit, youre done, obviously like you should be single (laughing). She doesnt see marriage in a very negative light but does have a tolerance that can be reached after a couple of divorces.

The second case experience divorce when she was in elementary school as well but does not remember too much fighting but divorce seems to run in the family. Her father and step-mother, who is on her forth marriage, are just one relationship she has with divorce and she can definitely see if she happens to get married her also experiencing a divorce. Her uncle is divorced, one set of grandparents are divorces and as she says the other set is on bad terms. The happiest couple in my whole family are my grand-parents on my moms side and they are always yelling at each other I have plenty of reason to have caution

Finally, there is one case that the interviewee was adamantly opposed to marriage. Her mother was the adulteress in this case, and she experienced a lot of fighting when her parents were together. As it is relatively recent, her parents divorced when she was in high school, she remembers it all and has very personal opinions about marriage and divorce. Her parents get along much better now after the divorce. This illustration of marriage that is painted for her is one of conflict and the reason for divorce was strictly from being married because of their stable and amiable relationship after the marriage ended is the reason she does not believe in marriage. Since divorce has become so prevalent in our society and now a means to ending a marriage the sanctity of marriage is effaced. She believes in cohabitation, which is interesting as she is so against marriage and most cohabitating situations are created as a step on the pathway to marriage. However, studies have shown cohabitation before marriage is also what increases the percent chance of divorce. So she unconsciously believes in a situation that will potentially lead to divorce exactly what she is trying to avoid. Her parents relationship has been the example that relationships outside of the realm of marriage are more satisfying and happy than the superficial, empty, most likely transitory lives of married couples.

On the opposite end both interviewees who are part of an intact family and have never experienced divorce shun the idea of divorce and can never see themselves in that situation. (quote: no, can work through most things. Only killing someone) Their parents relationships are stable and healthy. When there are arguments or fights both women said they were never about important life altering subjects and there was always communication and resolution between their parents. This ability to communicate and examples on how things can be worked through and resolved and the compromise that go into a marriage are what cause them to never seeing themselves as divorcees. Their example is to work through things and have never been in a situation that can not be settled so to them there is no such situation. The other interviewees who have experienced divorce have relatively stable relationships between their parents. In one of the middle school divorce cases she doesnt consider herself affected by her parents divorce and failed relationship because she views her step-dad as her real father and her mothers new marriage is stable, loving and an example of what a marriage should be and the model she will use for herself. She has had examples of both extremes and the choice between what she wants to model her life, is what causes her to be less open to divorce as an option in her life, even though she has experienced it before. Unlike the three relationships mentioned in the beginning, they have never had an example of a stable marriage. In the second high school divorce the father was an alcoholic and the mother pitied him and continued to worry about him after the divorce. After her father almost died because of a liver disease contact was re-established between her mother, father and herself and has been a relatively non-confrontational, stable relationship. This stability and improvement or change in their relationship correlates with her opinion of divorce and so sees it as less or an option in her own life.

Other Factors Affecting Views on Marriage and Divorce

In the course of analysis, several additional factors which were not specifically explored within the interview were identified as possibly having a major impact on an individuals personal views regarding marriage and divorce. First of all, many of the women interviewed are very religious. Within the descriptions of their ideal dating/marriage partner, several girls mentioned the importance of similar religious beliefs. Also, when discussing the possibility of divorce in their own futures, some respondents mentioned that the man God chose for them would not do anything that would warrant a divorce. For these individuals, the reasoning behind their divorce opinions seemed to be based on their religion, thus obscuring the effects of parental divorce. However, since specific questions were not asked regarding the extent to which an individual is religious and what that religion teaches about marriage and divorce, no conclusions can be made as to whether religion or divorce has a larger affect on the childs relationship outlook.

Another point to be noted in the analysis is that all of the women interviewed are currently studying for higher education. This fact ensures that all of these women are personally motivated to some extent, independent of their family background. Thus, since and undergraduate education requires a certain time commitment, the answers given regarding desirable age of marriage are likely influenced by this reality. The majority of college women at a competitive university, like that which most of those interviewed attend, will postpone marriage until after graduation. In addition, a university atmosphere generally liberalizes an individuals opinions and views. Thus, before any definitive conclusions can be made regarding marriage age and approval of divorce, data should be collected from individuals without college education from various locations.

CONCLUSION

The findings demonstrate the effects that divorce has on college-aged students views of marriage. The factors of parental communication, absentee parents, bias towards the mother, the importance of independence before marriage, and the amount of conflict and stability, have significant effects on the students views of marriage.

One unique finding was that strong parental communication with children could, in fact, counteract their trust issues and lead to better communication in the childrens own relationships. Furthermore, this communication creates marital priorities that are not present in their parents relationships. Thus, the communication within their dating relationships mimics those of the subjects with parents that have always been married.

By holding the factors constant of each student having one parent that is remarried and being all-female, the study was able to determine the extent to which family disruption has had on their marriage desires, specifically the disruption of adding another parental figure to their lives and gain further evidence of the effects on females, specifically. In most cases when a step-mother comes into a relationship women do not respond well to her because of the typically strong bond between their real mother and themselves. In the case of step-fathers it is usually a positive change and in one case the step-father she considered her true father. In addition, the greater the amount of disruption and conflict present in a relationship causes people to consider divorce more of an option or causes the consideration to not marry at all. The disruption leads to divorce and in turn the greater the likelihood that the children will have an absentee parent and create biases. Furthermore, the limited or absent communication, which is a cause for divorce, taught by example parents pass this challenge onto their children. In the future they most likely will not have good communication skills and in a vicious cycle will lead to divorce in their own lives.

In conclusion, every experience and environment that children endure has an affect on their lives and are the influences that mold them into the person they will become. A common clich used by many adults is Oh no, Im becoming my mother/father! This exclamation can follow a little nuance or seemingly unimportant experience but those seemingly unimportant experiences from the past are integrated into the personality and person one evolves into. So divorce a significant event in anyones life has an undoubtedly lasting affect on the lives that are touched by it. The experience is what influences the personality, morals, and views of that person and those traits are what in the future could put people at a larger risk for divorce.

Parents are their childrens heroes and role models and if parents dont communicate, fight without resolutions, leave or are untrustworthy these aspects are ingrained in their children and will influence their future lives and relationships. Even if one recognizes that not all members of the opposite sex are the same there are still feelings of doubt or foreboding that come from their past experiences. Each women we interviewed who had been through divorce admitted to having issues with trust, whether they placed the blame on divorce and recognized it was because of a parent or the reason had never been important to them, divorce was the common factor.

Over time the rate of divorce has increase and the more children affected by divorce, will continue to alter their opposition to divorce and the higher that rate will go. Eventually marriage may be nullified, believed to be not worthy of the effort, time or money in a marriage, as the mindset slowly changes toward people believing divorce to be inevitable. These studies are important to bring to light the disintegrating values and realm of marriage. Hopefully children will be taught communication, trust, and support, which are lost by divorce and are so important in a relationship to slow or even reverse the rate of divorce. Marriage has never been labeled easy, yet the alternative; divorce can be much more difficult, destructive and has a lasting impact on those in its path. For the general stability of families and a fulfilling life for future generations the affect divorce has on future marriages needs to be recognized and counteracted.

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