Intimate Partner Violence in 13-23 Year-Olds

A Mental Health Perspective

KARINA TAMAYO, LMFTDIRECTOR OF CLINICAL SERVICES

TALK-A-WHILE, CHILD & FAMILY THERAPY CENTER, PC

I have often wondered

As an adolescent I could not understand: What gets young people into an IPV

relationship? What keeps young people in an IPV

relationship? What gets young people out of an IPV

relationship?

After practicing psychotherapy with adolescents/young adults, I could not understand: What gets young people into an IPV

relationship? What keeps young people in an IPV

relationship? What gets young people out of an IPV

relationship?

LIFE STAGE THEORIES, HUMAN DEVELOPMENT, AND INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE (IPV)

Life stage theories help provide a framework to understand the underlying psychosocial dynamics of

IPV

Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages of Development

13-23 year-olds can fall on a wide spectrum of cognitive, moral, and emotional development and

maturity

Multiple variables influence an adolescent’s growth and development

Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages of Development

13-19 Year OldsIdentity vs Role Confusion

• Puberty• Identity exploration and questioning• Experimentation with new hobbies,

sports, and interests• Social relationships, pressures, and

sense of belonging• Boundary setting in relationships

20-23 Year OldsIntimacy vs Isolation

• Desires to establish deep/profound friendships and bonds

• Fear of rejection• Finding an intimate partner/love• Distancing self from individuals

whom might encroach, destroy perceived happiness, or cause undue pain

Why Young People Get Into IPV Relationships

13-19 Year OldsIdentity vs Role Confusion

• Affirmation and Acceptance of Developing Body

• Individuation and Creation of “Older Self”

• Peer Acceptance & Status

20-23 Year OldsIntimacy vs Isolation

• Feeling of independence• Feeling “not alone”• Subconscious need to replicate

dysfunctional relationships• Need to feel like you are

adulting• Need for spontaneity

Why Young People Stay in IPV Relationships

13-19 Year OldsIdentity vs Role Confusion

•Lack internal self-acceptance•Does not recognize or minimizes unhealthy

behavior•Peer group/social media normalizes•Fear of retaliation by abuser•Unable to set boundaries•Inexperience ending relationships

20-23 Year OldsIntimacy vs Isolation

•Lack of true independence dependence on the abuser (e.g. emotional, financial, social)

•Lack of meaningful and deep friendships•Lack of introspection about past unhealthy

relationships•Lack of life coping skills•Does not recognize or minimizes unhealthy

behaviors•Peer group/social media normalizes IPV aspects•Poor judgment, spontaneous Impulsive

What Young People Need to Get Out of IPV Relationships

13-19 Year OldsIdentity vs Role Confusion

•Build self-esteem and self-worth•Understand healthy and unhealthy relationships•Understand “sexual” interactions, emotional and

physical intimacy •Develop safe support system

20-23 Year OldsIntimacy vs Isolation

•Develop true independence (e.g. emotional, financial, social)

•Establish emotional, intimate, and supportive relationships

•Understand and end the cycle of dysfunction •Understand healthy and unhealthy relationships•Develop healthy coping skills for life stressors•Incorporate long-term consequences of actions

into decisions

WHAT CAN YOU DO AS A PROFESSIONAL?

13-19 Year Olds

Identity vs Role Confusion

• Affirmation and Acceptance of Developing Body• Individuation and Creation of “Older Self”• Peer Acceptance & Status

Get Into—needs being met by relationship

• Lack internal self-acceptance• Does not recognize or minimizes unhealthy behavior• Peer group/social media normalizes• Fear of retaliation by abuser• Unable to set boundaries• Inexperience ending relationships

Stay In—barriers, lack of skill to leave relationship

• Build self-esteem and self-worth• Understand healthy and unhealthy relationships• Understand “sexual” interactions, emotional and physical intimacy • Develop safe support system

To get out—how to meet needs and overcome barriers

WHAT CAN YOU DO AS A PROFESSIONAL?

20-23 Year Olds

Intimacy vs Isolation

•Feeling of independence•Feeling “not alone”•Subconscious need to replicate dysfunctional relationships•Need to feel like you are adulting•Need for spontaneity

Get Into—needs being met by relationship

•Lack of true independence dependence on the abuser (e.g. emotional, financial, social)

•Lack of meaningful and deep friendships•Lack of introspection about past unhealthy relationships•Lack of life coping skills•Does not recognize or minimizes unhealthy behaviors•Peer group/social media normalizes IPV aspects•Poor judgment, spontaneous Impulsive

Stay In—barriers, lack of skill to leave relationship

•Develop true independence (e.g. emotional, financial, social)•Establish emotional, intimate, and supportive relationships•Understand and end the cycle of dysfunction •Understand healthy and unhealthy relationships•Develop healthy coping skills for life stressors•Incorporate long-term consequences of actions into decisions

To get out—how to meet needs and overcome barriers

Mental Health Perspective Summary

Understand the needs and the barriers to help break the cycle of IPV

What Young People Need to get out is similar for 13-23 year-olds Build self-esteem and self-worth

Understand healthy and unhealthy relationships

Develop safe support system

Establish emotional, intimate, and supportive relationships

Understand and end the cycle of dysfunction

Develop healthy coping skills for life stressors

Incorporate long-term consequences of actions into decisions

Questions and Comments

Karina Tamayo, LMFTDirector of Clinical Services

2577 Samaritan Drive, Suite 715San Jose, CA 95124

karina@talkawhile.org408-962-9267