Social Protocol, Etiquette and Communication

LEARNING OBJECTIVE:

Identify the concept of protocol etiquette

Protocol

• A protocol is a rule which guides how an activity should be performed, especially in the field of diplomacy. In diplomatic services and governmental fields of endeavor protocols are often unwritten guidelines.

• Protocols specify the proper and generally-accepted behavior in matters of state and diplomacy,

Protocol (continuation)

• For example, showing appropriate respect to a head of state, ranking diplomats in chronological order of their accreditation at court, and so on. One definition is:

• Protocol is commonly described as a set of international courtesy rules. These well-established and time-honored rules have made it easier for nations and people to live and work together.

You're at a dinner party there with some people and you have done your bit in minding your manners. You engaged in sophisticated exchange with your companions. Then when dinner was served, you were suddenly self-conscious. You found yourself not knowing the right cutlery to use. Ever found yourself in situations such as this? if you have, surely a sense of an oncoming faux pas (blunder) is in the making. And maybe, a lesson of etiquette should be planned for you. Before going on to the definition of etiquette, let us quickly find out its origin.

Etiquette

THE ORIGIN OF ETIQUETTE Etiquette comes from the

French word tiquette, meaning label or ticket. It was in the form of written instruction to newcomers to the French Court in order to avoid committing a faux pas in the presence of royalty. In a nutshell, each etiquette contains written rules of good behavior. As social rules become related throughout the years and with fewer people familiar with etiquette, those trying to interpret a complicated code of formal conduct may find it a discouraging task.

ETIQUETTE DEFINED• Etiquette is defined as “something that relates to a code of behavior

among people within an organization, group, or society. It is a people-made artificial set of rules often considered by many as fixing class origin”. (Ampikaipakan nad Asnida Daim,1995. )

• Etiquette encompasses the right image for people. Image has two components:

(i) Appearance (ii) Presentation

Appearance concerns how you look while presentation is with regard to the right way of behaving.Etiquette falls in the latter component.

The main purpose of etiquette is to minimize conflict among human beings. This happen over a span of civilization, where human beings develop ways of talking, interacting, eating and etc.

Etiquette differs from one society to another and is a voluntary system of behavior.

THE IMPORTANCE OF ETIQUETTE

Etiquette is not the business of superficial people, who are trying to impress. It plays an important role in forming an opinion of another. Since you’re constantly judged, impressions, especially in the workplace is important. In view of business, an etiquette blunder may translate into a lost deal worth millions of dollars. Conduct in one culture may seemed classy but may be deemed barbaric in another.

Some argue that etiquette not only deals with dos and don'ts in social interaction but also with looking into oneself and one’s psychology.

There’re also dimensions of personality development and emotional intelligence to etiquette (Das,2000).

Das believes that etiquette should start off by getting in touch with who we’re inside, for example self-actualizing. It's not enough to know how to behave appropriately if you haven't gotten in touch with who you’re inside. This is where self-confidence plays a vital role in etiquette. She believes that if the emotional part of a person’s psyche is not uncovered, there is no point in refining the behavior of a person.

CONCLUSION In a nutshell, etiquette portrays the right

image that should be in a person especially with regard to appropriate conduct. There are many reasons why etiquette plays an important role in the different contexts of our life. It encompasses all roles that we play whether in the office, at home or in public places. The important thing is how far is our understanding of etiquette. Is it limited it us saying “please” and “thank you”? Well ,one thing for sure, it definitely covers more than that.

CONTEXT OF ETIQUETTE

LEARNING OBJECTIVE:

Identify the context of etiquette

INTRODUCTION It’s quite an eye-opener watching

people making a bee-line for seats once they become empty. A good trick is to muscle your way to the seat at the precise moment when some one is leaving it. Or to whole-heartedly and single-mindedly focus your attention on the seat and give other people the“get loss that seat is mine” look. May be this is a rather selfish attitude especially when there are old folks, pregnant women, or handicapped people around. Well, the context of etiquette encompasses a wider spectrum of behaviors and conducts than what can be specified here.

Etiquette is all about presentation. How you put on your best behavior and the show of good manner.

However there are two major components of etiquette: (i) social (ii) business

There are seven essential part of etiquette (Irene Low [1996]) :

Social etiquette

Dining etiquette

Business etiquette

Office etiquette Telephone etiquette

Road etiquette Cross-culture etiquette

There are numerous other parts of et iquette. However, only certain aspects of social and dining et iquette wil l be touched here.

Low (1996) puts principle that should be followed within social etiquette. “DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE OTHERS DO UNTO YOU”. Putting other’s interest before your own will project a good image of yourself unto others and general points to note are:

The use of ‘please’ , Thanks and I’m sorry

Give sincere compliments

Consider other’s feelings

Always keep one’s promise

Do not boast

Social Etiquette

As there are gender biases in the day-to-day conduct of our life, so does in social etiquette. Reminder for manners in MEN can be taken from this principle:

“Humility comes before honor.”

Allow a lady to enter a dining room first.

Help her to be seated if the waiter has not done so.

Stand when a lady enters the room.

Place the lady’s order with the waiter.

Open the car door for the lady. Assist the lady when she is

carrying heavy packages (Low,1996).

Reminder of manners to WOMEN can be taken from this principle:

“ A kind hearted woman gains respect ”

Do not hesitate to open the door for a man with his arms full

Be ready to first extend social courtesies to everyone in general

Do not use your charm with ill intentions. For instance,

luring a man to buy you expensive gifts

Do not criticize a man if he fails to extend social manners to you.

(Low,1996)

Dining Etiquette There’re two types of what is considered to be the “standard”

international dining styles.

The American style dictates that when cutting food, the knife needs to be in the right hand and the fork in the left. When you begin to eat, the knife is laid down and the fork transferred to the right.

But the Europeans will cut one bite-sized piece of meat and then transfer it to your mouth without passing the fork over to the other hand.

(Low,1996)

Eating Manners

Since we are dwelling on the issue of dining etiquette, let us look at some eating manners that should be practiced. Specifically, we will look at the peculiarity of behavior in these categories:

While eating

Social conversation

Posture

Napkin and cutlery

While eating

Don’t talk if you have food in your mouth Don’t chew with your mouth open Don’t wash down mouthfuls of food with water Don’t butter the whole slice of bread and then fold it like a sandwich.

Break off one bite-sized and butter it and eat it before going for another piece

Don’t slurp while drinking soup

Social Conversation

Do make small talk with your guests so they feel comfortable Steer off taboo topics Sharing gossips and crude jokes should not be practiced . They can

sometimes turn into conflict between the communicators.

Posture

Keep your elbows off the table. Lean forward slightly and bring the food to you mouth. Do not lower

your head to reach the food. In between courses, when your table is clear of food an arm or wrist

may rest against the side of the table.

Place the napkin on your lap. A bib will be offered when a difficult-to-eat food is served.

When you have finished eating, touch your lips lightly with the napkin and place it on the right side of the plate

If you drop any cutlery, ask for it to be replaced

Place your cutlery on a “rest" position (fork and knife crossed on the bottom half of the plate) if you have not finished eating. When you have finished eating, your knife and fork should be placed side by side with the fork facing upward.

Napkin and Cutlery

Conclusion Looking at the examples of what

should be observed during social interaction, it is clear that we can make a better presentation of ourselves in many situations. It may seemed like common sense to some. However to many, especially people from different cultures, this may prove to show the differences of what is accepted internationally. For instance, in Malaysia it is common to eat with the hands. However , this practice is not a standard of practice. So it is important to take consideration of where you are and “if in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

THANK YOU