Internet Awareness & Safety

Ten Challenges of the Digital Age & What We Can Do to Protect Virtue

in Our Homes and Families

Major Transformations

● Web: huge growth of good and bad From helping youth seek out information to

helping them restrict what they access● Web: from “read” to “read-write”

IM, chat, blogs, social networks, texting● Back-channel that is largely invisible to

parents, family, and significant adults (think radio or TV), but often primary for youth Limited ability to help guide

And When Strong Parenting is Needed Most...

● Little societal help or protection for youth or parents Lack of regulation Laws that diminish parental roles Culture

● Movie portrayals of parent/child relationship ● Sexualization of young women● Uneasiness on moral standards

● Electronic “savvy” is not wisdom● Internet can quickly provide a youth with attention,

connectedness, and feedback● Not enough time to do all that is needed

To help guide (to learn enough to guide) Digital immigrants and digital natives

Dangers (Overview)

● Hard to describe So many Some inappropriate to even discuss in this forum

● I'm pretty aware and I'm even afraid I'm missing something (for sure, gaming)

● Very, very real● Compounded by active marketing of

sexuality to youth

Dangers (General)

● Loss of parental/adult influence● “Gatekeeping” disappearing● Language reflects: POS, etc.● Cyberbullying

● Sexual exposure, sometimes leading to sexual addiction● Pew Internet Study: 62% of parents and teens believe most

teens do things online that they'd rather their parents not see.● One 5-year study of pre-teens (8-13, “tweens”): shocking

statistics, as girls' lives “filled with sexual behavior” online, and most parents “virtually clueless.”● If not our children, then our children's' friends?

● Lack of socialization / Internet “addiction”● Distancing from family● Loss of sense of reality● “Disinhibition”

Disinhibition

● “Disinhibition is now being mentioned with some regularity in news articles as an explanation for how youth communicate differently when using the media of instant messaging, text messaging, and posting content on social networking sites. Because technology often provides 1) a perceived buffer from regular consequences and 2) a real buffer from traditional social cues, people will say and do things through technology that they would not do face-to-face. Youth who do not have any real understanding of the dangers or consequences of certain behavior will often talk openly about sexual issues or post provocative pictures online. While this may sometimes reflect their actual behavior, it is believed that many youth are being provocative in order to gain attention--not realizing the danger of some of their behaviors.” --Wikipedia

1. Media

● Satellite / Cable, TV, Movies● Dangers:

All of the above● Solutions:

For the Strength of Youth ParentPreviews.com DVD ratings filter – almost all have V-chip in TV

2. Personal Music Devices

● Not everyone would include● Dangers:

Separation / isolation Silent danger: little oversight of music (power of

music) Radio (if included) getting worse Illegal music copying

● Solutions: Ask to use for a day Limit use Research and talk about legal issues around

music, media

3. Cell Phones

● Dangers: Non-monitored communication

● One study: 1/3 of teenage girls had sexually explicit messages, pictures, or videos on their phone Texting (4 – 5,000 messages/month) “Disinhibition” School / Church distraction Camera Phones

● Bullying● Embarrassing photos

● Solutions: Difficult—safety aspect of phones valuable “Park” phones at night Remove text messaging (I'm going to incur the wrath

of the stake youth)

Related Solution: Strengthen Parental Roles

● Strong, loving, directed parenting maybe never needed more

● California Summit on Internet Safety: Gov. Schwarzenegger, Mark Klass, others

● Legal responsibility● How do we teach, guide, counsel, and correct?

Read Proclamation on Family together Read For the Strength of Youth together Teach the value of “scriptural obedience” (choosing to be

obedient)● Strengthen role of priesthood / parents in the home

Be willing to have consequences—this is important● Meet with other parents, parents of friends● Have a meeting with your child/children...

“The Meeting”

● I'm imagining youth asking each other if they've had “the meeting” yet.

● “I'm / We're going to ask you for all of your online account information: usernames, screen names, and passwords” Experts: give a day or two “Want to help keep you safe” “We're legally responsible for you, and we have God-

given responsibilities to counsel and direct you; as part of that, I need to know what you are doing.”

● Gage their response Immediate “OK” is a good sign Resistance or hesitation indicates concern—be sure to

pay close attention● Go through all their accounts with them

Talk about safety, information

4. Email

● Dangers: Explicit spam Hidden conversations

● Solutions Around longer: solved, or just used to? Spam filtering Mission rules: limit to specific times

Related Solution: Filtering

● What filters can do: Filter content Control access to programs Set time limits

● Time of day● Total time

● What they can't do: Stop a determined teenager Stop a youth from going to a friend's home

Filtering (Good)

● Filtering Software Positives:

● Comprehensive control Negatives:

● Has to be loaded on each computer● Hard to keep up● Can be bypassed

Filtering (Better)

● Pre-filtered ISP (not always available)● Filter device (can be removed)● Filtering router (hard to find)

Filtering (Best)

● None● The motivated teen can get around any

filtering system

Remember: Education

● Filtering cannot do it all. Education is your number one solution. Not the only one, but number one.

● They will face this danger outside your home and when they leave home.

● Topics Personal information concerns Personal discipline Knowing the dangers Becoming aware (MLK)

● Takes time Educating yourself Educating children

5. Instant Messaging

● Dangers: “Disinhibition” Web-cam chatting Language betrays hiding: POS Time wasting (hours)

● Solutions: Filter / limit Block (not really needed) Educate

6. General Web Use

● Dangers: Pornography

● Websites Ubiquitous Mistyped URL

● Pop-up windows ● Image searching (Google / Yahoo images)● Invading general material

Disguised/misrepresented websites Good and bad mixed together.

● Craigslist: web classifieds / prostitution● Like getting a large package every day

Public sites and bad language—little filtering/censoring of the comments.

7. Chat Rooms

● Dangers: Predators Disinhibition Highly sexualized

● Solutions: Filter Why?

● Second Life / others a higher form of chat rooms

8. Social Networking / Blogging / Online Journals

● MySpace, Facebook, Bebo, etc.● Dangers:

One click from danger Sexualized marketing Disinhibition Posting private information Exhibitionism No control of others messages to you

● Solutions Get an account, be listed as friend on child's

page :) Monitor usage and time

9. Photo Sharing

● Flickr, Ringo, etc.● Dangers:

Inappropriate photos Commenting on photos / same

as “disinhibition” Seen as youth technology

(Kate: “No parents have a flickr account”)

Standards and photo removals vary

● Solutions● Changing rapidly. Worth

getting to know (family history)

10. Video Sharing

● Google Video, YouTube, many others

● Dangers: Inappropriate videos Commenting on videos /

same as “disinhibition” Seen as youth technology Standards and video

removals vary● Solutions

● Changing rapidly. Worth getting to know—will be huge.

Related Solutions (Web)

● Learn about RSS Really Simple Syndication Like a “subscription” to websites

● Computers in public areas of the home only No computers with Internet access in private

rooms Only available at certain times

Balance

● “Children and teens absolutely need to be spending time with their family and with other young people--engaged in sports activities, the arts, social service, or just 'hanging out.' Parent involvement is necessary to ensure that these Real World interactions occur. Do not allow the Internet to be your child's 'baby-sitter.' Time spent online should only be a small part of your child's life.” -Nancy Willard (emphasis added)

Additional Solutions

● The more time you spend on family activities: Less time on web Less need for attention

● This is a time of “flood.” Get on the ark. Follow counsel.

● “And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out and cast if from thee...” Don't be afraid to just get rid of certain technologies.

● Great need for inspiration, the power of the priesthood, and parental leadership

● “...if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.”

Resources

● www.ProtectFamilies.net Interview with Nancy Willard This presentation Websites & other links Filtering hardware and software