What is Discipline?

To discipline means to teach. Discipline is

not punishment. Discipline means providing

guidelines and support for young children

while they are learning how to manage their

emotions, deal with disappointment or

frustration, and form relationships with other

people. Effective discipline means teaching

children to behave in ways that support the

values of their family, society and culture.

Discipline is not something to do after a

child misbehaves, but is an ongoing way of

interacting with a child that encourages good

behavior, discourages bad behavior, and yes,

addresses misbehavior when it occurs.

Why Discipline Matters

Discipline has long-term benefits for parent and child.

Researchshowsthatadisciplinestyleof“limitsetting”isassociatedwithpositiveoutcomesforchildren.Suchastyleischaracterizedbypayingattentiontochildren’sfeelings,usingappropriatedistractions,explainingthereasonsforalimittothechild,andhelpingthechildsucceedinstayingwithinthelimitsset.

• Whenparentsusedlimitsetting,theirchildrenwerebetterabletowaitforsomethingtheywanted,betterabletogetalongwithpeers,andmoreconfidentinsocialsituations.

The best kinds of discipline build trust.

Researchalsoshowsuswhichdisciplinemethodsdon’twork.Severalstudieshavefoundthatharshtacticssuchasspankingarenoteffective.Suchmethodsdonotsupportachild’sdevelopmentalprogresstowardsself-control.

• Sensitive,yetfirmlimitsettingasadisciplinemethoddoesmuchmorethansimplychangeachild’sbehavior.Italsobuildstrustandrespectforconsequences.

InformatIon for Parents:

Discipline

InformatIon for Parents:Discipline

What Parents Can Do

Be Consistent

First,rememberthatwhatevertheageofyourchild,it’simportanttobeconsistentwhenitcomestodiscipline.Ifyoudon’tsticktotherulesandconsequencesyousetup,yourchildrenaren’tlikelytoeither.

Consider your child’s age:

Infants:Duringthefirst18months,focusonteachingyourchildhowtointeractwiththethingsandpeopleinhisworld.Babiesandtoddlersarenaturallycurious.Whenpossible,planaheadandremovefragileitemsthatyourbabymightbecuriousaboutorthataredangerous.

toddlers: Atthisage,childrenbegintodifferentiatethemselvesfromtheircaregiversandwillstarttoasserttheirowndecisionmaking.Thisisagoodtimeforparentstostepinwithguidanceandteaching.

Preschoolers: Thisiswhenchildrenbecomemoreawareofactionsandconsequences.Communicatetherulesandexpectationsofyourhomeandfamily.Follow-throughisimportantandconsistencyisthekey!

Remember that there are three ways to discipline:

1. encourage good behavIor

Usepraise,rewards,andmodeling.Modeldesiredbehaviorandacknowledgeyourownerrorstoteachchildrenwhatisexpectedofthemandteachesthem,andthatitisoktomakemistakes.

Setclearrulesandexplainwhytheserulesareimportant.Besurethechildknowswhattoexpectbeforedisciplining

foranunacceptablebehavior.Settheseboundariesandexpectationsearly,beforechallengingsituationsarise.

Makerequestsinshort,easytounderstandphrases.

2. Prevent mIsbehavIor

Offerchoices:Oneofthewaychildrenexpresstheirindependenceisbymakingchoices.Forexample,allowyourchildtochoosehisownclothingorsnack.Thisgiveshimasenseofcontrolandreducesthelikelihoodofdisagreement.

Distraction:Thisissimplyre-directingachild’sattentionfromanundesirablebehaviortosomethingelse.Thoughitiscriticaltoobservecuesandrespectemotions,distractioncanbeveryeffective,especiallywithtoddlersandpreschoolers.

Childrenaremorelikelytomisbehavewhentheyarehungry,tired,orfeelingleftout,sotrytoanticipateyourchild’sneeds.

3. resolve Problem behavIor

Time-out: Manyparentshavereportedthattime-outsareaneffectivedisciplinechoice.Thisisespeciallytrueforbehaviorsthatareintentionalorwhenthetime-outhasbeenanagreeduponresponsetoarepeatedbehavior.

Aswithmostparentingtechniques,timeoutsarelessabouttheactionitselfandmoreabouthowthetimeoutisperceivedbythechild.Thegoalistoprovideclarityabouttheactofmisbehaviorwhileshowingsensitivitywithintheparent-childcontext

Discipline is one of the most important parts of parenting. Dealingwithamisbehavingchildisreallyjustoneverysmallpartofdiscipline,andachildwhoothersmaycall“well-behaved”isprobablynotachildwhoisfrequentlypunished.Rather,heislikelyachildwhosedaysarefilledwithcommunicationwithhisparentsandcaregiversandachildwhounderstandslimitsandexpectations.Thoughtofthisway,disciplineissimplyanotherstepinpreparingyourchildforfuturehappinessandsuccess,andanessentialpartoftheparent-childrelationship.Itdoesn’thavetobeunpleasant,anditcanmakefamilylifemorefunandjoyful.