Individuals and Families: Diverse PerspectivesUnit 3: Chapter 7

Attraction and Mate-Selection Theories

How do we select the person we marry?

• Most marriages in Canada are a result of free-choice mate selection where people are attracted to one another, fall in love, and make the decision to marry

• There are several theories that can be used to explain the attraction between individuals and the unconscious choices people make when they choose a spouse or partner

Marriage in Canada

• Evolutionary psychology, a branch of anthropology, explains that sexual attraction can be traced to our prehistoric ancestors

• Strategies that help individuals compete for limited resources to survive, reproduce, and raise children are called adaptive behaviours

Evolutionary Psychology

• These adaptive behaviours gave individuals an evolutionary advantage that allowed them to pass on their genes and culture to the next generation

Did we inherit the habits of our ancestors?

Studies reveal that individuals are still attracted to the person that can help them raise the most successful children:

However, in all cultures, “men and women wanted mates who were intelligent, kind, understanding, dependable, and healthy” (Buss, 2007)

Women

Menattracted to physically appealing, younger women (implies fertility)

attracted to older, financially secure men (implies a good provider)

Sexual Attraction Today

Social Homogamy

Social homogamy can also be used to explain the attraction between two people who are from different ethnic backgrounds but are born or socialized in the same socio-economic environment

Ideal Mate Theory

• Ideal mate theory supports the concept of love at first sight because everyone has an unconscious ideal of what is attractive and lovable in a mate• Our perceptions of what is attractive are formed from both good and bad experiences we have with other people, our family, and even media personalities we are familiar with

Love at first sight?

What are some characteristics that you find attractive in a person?

Exchange Theory

What do they see in each other?

• Some researchers suggest couples who live and work together to raise children probably would grow to love one another regardless of how their marriage came about (Yalom, 2001)

• Yet, in 87 percent of all cultures, the relationships between men and women are based on romantic love

(Nadeau, 1997)

A final word about love…