indian intellectual

8/14/2019 Indian Intellectual

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INDIAN INSTITUTE OF SCIENTIFIC HERITAGE www.iish.org

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INDIAN INSTITUTE OF SCIENTIFIC HERITAGETrivandrum 695 018, India

(0471-2490149)

www.iish.org ,www.iishglobal.org

INDIAN INTELLECTUAL
http://www.iish.org/http://www.iishglobal.org/http://www.iishglobal.org/http://www.iish.org/


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HOW TO GET THE ACCREDIATION AS AN INDIAN

INTELLECTUAL

HOW, WHAT, WHEN, WHY, WHERE TO DO AND NOT TO DO , IF YOU

HAVE TO GET THE STATUS OF AN INTELLECTUAL IN INDIA

For getting the status of an intellectual, the caste, religion, sex, age, language or any

other regional or linguistic parameters are not the criteria. A It is easy to get the

status, if you are a Hindu who always criticizes his own religion and sanathana

dharma A Your qualification, actual intelligence, vocabulary, position, etc. do not

have any bearing for getting the status . A You should always belittle and denigrate

Indian heritage and culture, whenever you get opportunity or even by creating

opportunity.

Always make fun of Hindu dharma and ancient Hindu scholars, saffron colour,

Omkar, temples and priests A You have to show that you have the authority to

criticize Hindu dharma. A Try to find a good place in the electronic media screen

and print media. A Keep a charisma for attracting the media people, give them

whatever they need for elevating you in the media. A Keep the relation strong with

them. A Tell always the positives about other religion while degrading and

denigrating our dharma. A This will give a good image as an impartial and unbiased

scholarA You will automatically become famous as a pakka secular leader and

other intellectuals will push you up. A Whatever you say- think- or do look only for

your personal benefit. A Take the opportunity to understand the future benefits also,

even if the ruling ministers and ruling party change. A Speeches should be so

designed to get maximum clapping/ applause from the audience. A Keep appropriate

facial expression depending upon what and where you say. A Create an impression

that you are a sincere and dedicated leader of the common man.A

Use as muchconfusing words as possible so that in future you can easily change your words,

opinions and visions. A Select words in such a way that nobody understands what

you really mean by saying so. A If something goes wrong in the future from your

expressions put all the blame on the media. A You should never quote anything from

Indian heritage or ancient Indian books because it is cheap to quote indigenous

knowledge. A Quote always the Russian, Chinese or even from Iraq leaders. A If you

are compelled to quote from India, quote only from Jawaharlal Nehrus words. A For

justifying your view point take quotations from great (late) foreign scholars even if

they have not told so. A This will help you in the long run because those leaders will

not come back for questioning you. A You should only be careful to note that when

and where you are quoting. A Use as many quotations as possible from foreignscholars of your status for denigrating Indian heritage and culture. A You can use

even outdated scientific data and observation for this purpose. A You can add your on

words while quoting their messages, because nobody will verify those statements. A

Try to create an impression that your quotations originally belong to a great foreign

scholar. A Inform indirectly, the audience that you also read books. A Your speech, or

writing should never give any doubts to your audience or readers about its

authenticity and originality, even if it is a copied one. A Never praise the past present


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and future of India. A Never do so for Sanskriti and make it a point that you never

quote from Sanskrit books. A Keep this in mind even if you are delivering lecture in

Sanskrit institutes. A You can see many intelectuals of your type in almost all the

Sanskrit institutes, Ayurveda colleges and Vaastu gurukulams

A Share your views with them for further degrading our cultural and scientific

heritage. A If you have time to spare, tell all the memorable negatives about Indiancustoms and rituals in Sanskrit institutes also. So that people will appreciate your

secular, rational and scientific vision. A This may even fetch you some Sanskrit

based awards. A Due to the circumstances, if you are forced to say something good

about our heritage, take all precaution and say as though you are quoting from a

foreign scholar. A But create an impression, that you are also an authority to talk

about India and inform indirectly that you also know about Indian culture at an

equal level to some of our prime ministers. A Keep in your mind that even when you

protest against Cocoa cola, Pepsi and American multinationals, also use similar

words against Indian contribution to science or technology. A Appreciate only foreign

scientists and scholars, if possible from Russia or China. A Belittle and denigrate

Indian scientific and technological heritage whenever and wherever possible andencourage younger generation to do so. A But make sure that your children are

studying in reputed excellent dharmic institutes where Indian culture is taught to the

core, preferably outside your State. A If you have the qualification to read the school

books and happen to read any heritage knowledge in the syllabus, proclaim that it is

Hindu fundamentalism and vehemently protest against the move towards

Saffronisation, Hinduisation, Indianisation and so on.A Outright reject the Indian

goddess concept on Vidya A If you have enough followers and money to spend

declare a Hartal against all type of Indianisation. A If you are quoting the words of

someone, try to make sure that the name of the scholar is not familiar to the

audience, and also see that the quoted book is not available. A Tell that the

particular scholar said it in Rangoon or Korea, in 1938 Feb 28th. A Make sure that

nobody verifies your statements or quotations A Since your future, as an intellectual,

remains exclusively on how many press conferences you hold and press releases you

give, make sure that at-least one per week is done. A You can get sponsorship for the

expenses without any difficulty A Express your shock through media on the sad

and sudden demise of other intellectuals. A Try to become one of the speakers for

giving felicitation address in as much meetings as possible. A Praise the organizers as

much as possible, which will benefit you in the course of time. A Try to participate in

funeral processions, chain making, group running for building patriotism, etc. If

possible be in the forefront. A Stand near by the famous people so that your photo

also will appear in the media.A

You elevate all useless ( off course useful for you)fellows, in return they will elevate you, so help each other A Always put the first

signature in mass memorandum, preferably in presence of the media photographers. A

Do not follow law and order, this can fetch you a place in print media easily. A You

have to say that you are violating the law and order for the people. A If you do not

have any professional or technical qualification, try to become a syndicate or senate

member of the Universities, or atleast the post of Devaswom Board president, or

Chairman. A All these do not require any qualification and quality. Getting higher


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position in the Toddy Workers Welfare Board, Fisher Men Welfare Board, etc., need

higher qualifications. A If the press reporters or general public ask some general

questions to you, say you know much better than me and save yourself. A If the

situation goes little negative and more questions flow on the same subject, tell

something about Aryan Invasion. A If the situation further worsens and more

questions come, criticize the caste system in Hindu dharma. A If nothing else isavailable for saving yourself from the press people tell something negative about

Amma, Swamy or Guruji., and declare that all the present problems in India are

created by them A Make sure to tell good about Mother Teresa, Bukari Imam and St

Xavier Francis even though their prime aim was conversion of Hindus. A Or as the

last tool, before attempting a walk out, tell that all the problems including Sunami,

Katrina, Rita, Wilma and the Plague in Surat and Iraq situation are all created by

Parivar organizations.

ATalk like a genius who can speak about any subject at any time. A In foreign

countries, before delivering lectures, do not drink too much, even if the organizers

are liberal to give you free A See that your tongue is not slipping while delivering

lecture. A Make sure that you read from a paper if you have consumed drinksbeyond the limit. A Remember that many intellectuals consume more when they visit

foreign countries, because better quality and unlimited quantity liquor is available

free of cost for the guests. A Still keep a natural seriousness of an intellectual in your

face. A If you are sure that your control on leg and tongue is loosing, give the

written matter to one of your colleagues to read, if he has a better control over his

body .

A Create an impression that you are not in a position to speak because of jetlag or you

are tired. A Tell in one line that I am not well and hence giving the paper to so and

so to read my message. A Try to build your own style in using words and hand

action during speech A If you cannot build an original set of natural action during the

speech, copy the method followed by someone who is no more. A Try to build up

associations fans or followers. A Criticize any Indian to any extent either going up or

down, but keep a minimum standard while criticizing a foreigner. A You should

always remember that the memory of the reacting people is less and the

memorizing people will not react. A Whenever you are contradicting your own earlier

statements, inform the audience that it is because of their ignorance they feel that you

are contradicting the earlier statement. A Make the audience feel that you know about

India also. A While talking something about India, ask what happened in 1936 Feb

29 ( after making sure that it is a leap year), as though something happened on that

day. A If you are forced to resign from some position due to your criminal

background, tell that it is for the people you threw the position and tell that let thepeople decide on your quality. A Declare those statements with dignity and at low

voice. A If you get some negative points on others from the newspapers, use those

points appropriately in your speech. Create an image that you are also aware about

what is happening around us.

A Make the people aware that you know what are all happening in Iraq, Houston,

Iran, Korea, Lanka and also in MizoramA Quote something from Ethiopia and never

say anything negative about Tianen men square or Cuba. A Never say any negative


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about Kashmir and Nagaland or the activities of the minorities in those States. ATell

anything negative about Military or police action in Kashmir or Nagaland, making

sure that you do not touch anything against minorities. A Even if you have to say

something about minority fundamentalism, say that it is due to majority

fundamentalism. A At times when you have to tell something about yourself, tell

politely with tears in eyes that you are a freedom fighter, and son of the greatfreedom fighter so and so ( give the name) who worked with Mahatma Gandhi and

Jinna. A You have to say proudly that you have inherited the dharmic values from

your parents. A Tell that patriotism and nationalism are in your blood. A Whenever

you have to apologize do it boldly and say that you are apologizing for the people and

nation. A Express your gratitude to the great scholars for elevating you to this level

after making sure that those people are already dead. A While expressing your

gratitude, try to become over polite and if possible weep or make weeping sound. A

Create an impression that you are a simple man. A At the time of apologizing create a

philosophical environment by quoting Bhagavath geetha, even if you are quoting

wrongly, no body is going to ask any questions because generally the audience who

come to listen to your speech, will be ignorant about Geetha. Whenever you have tochange your vision and opinion, tell that opinion is not iron pestle. Hence change

your opinion, which is the rule of the nature. Inform every one that change is life

and stagnation is death A You can even suddenly jump from atheism to religion when

the membership in the former decreases. A Remember every atheist does it in the

last part of his life. A If someone feels bad for your doing so, tell that you have done it

for your wife. A Also inform that you will repeat it for your wife, so that nobody will

criticize you. A Instead people may appreciate your courage and thickness of the

skin. A While delivering lectures to Christians tell that in the next janma you want to

be a Christian, to the Muslim audience tell that you want to become a Muslim, in

the next janma. A Tell them that Upanishads and Vedas are taken from Koran and

Bible. ATry to attend all religious meet as a representative of Hindus and tell

negatives about Hinduism. It will be printed in big letters in media. A Learn two or

three lines from Koran or Bible and quote appropriately for getting the applause. A

Give as much good messages from Indian books and tell that these are all from

Koran and Bible. A You will definitely get many more chances. A Remember! many

speakers are charging Rs. 3000 + TA + something in kind for delivering such

lectures against Sanathana dharma in Kerala. A If you are a failure as an intellectual

speaker, try to be an authority in writing books by copying from some old foreign

books in full or chapter wise. A Remove few lines here and there and add something

special, without grammar and spelling mistakes. A Give a novel title and release the

book.A

Take sponsorship from wherever possible to fetch you the livelihood for manygenerations. A Take the 50 :50 share, if you are giving the session for contract. A

Spend some money for getting a court ban on the book, file a petition, this will give

enough publicity for the book. A Intentionally put few controversial lines in the book,

so that getting a ban becomes easy. A There are many Christian writers who write

about Indian heritage and Sanathana dharma A Take their help to write on the

subjects in which you are fully ignorant or as ignorant as they are in their writing

subject. A You can start writing against Hinduism first, with their help, so that the


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marketing is easy and building your career also becomes easy. A Many churches,

and Christian agents will help you directly and indirectly for propagating your anti

Hindu messages and for selling the books. A Be in contact with the media people,

whenever you are traveling. A Offer a cup of tea or something and keep the

friendship strong always. A Build relationship with five star hotel owners, workers,

toddy shop workers union, minority leaders during traveling from place to place.This relation will have life long benefit for an intellectual like you. A Give some money

to some organization and tell them to give half of that as an award to you. A When

you get some award, tell that at this age you are not thinking about the awards. . A It

is the easiest method for getting more awards. A When you stand for receiving the

award, keep a philosophical facial expression that you are much beyond the level of

accepting an award. A By following these techniques, you can spend your manushya

janma fruitfully for making enough money, position, name and fame, even though it

may not have any use for anyone other than yourself. A Definitely some ministers will

inaugurate your bust/ statue for the crows to sit. A They may also venture to put your

name for some drainage canals.

TIPS FROM KERALA INTELLECTUALS TO ALL INDIA LEVEL INTELLECTUALS. ! A

Support the minorities always even when they destroy temples, go for terrorism,

do anti national activities, attack police or media persons. A Keep silence against all

minority mooted terrorism. A Always justify the bomb blasts, killings, storing weapons

in houses and religious institutes, if done by minorities. A Do not say anything

about foreign fund flow for conversion and terrorism. A Partake in hartal for releasing

the terrorist leaders and put your signature in mass memorandum. A Be an active

human right activist for the minorities only. A Support UGC salary for the Urdu

and Arabi teachers in Madrasas even though they are illiterate. A Support grants for

building Madrasas, mosques, and pension for mullahs and moulavis. A If a Hindu

priest is murdered, do not utter even a single word. A But if a sand particle fallen onany minority priest, straight away blame Hindu fundamentalists. A If any Hindu

institute is taken over by government justify it with powerful words. A If it happened

for minorities oppose with tooth and nail. A If minority gundas attack the press

people, tell to suspend the police or taking action against the police even though the

police men were 200 kilometers away from the site of attack. A Always speak against

the atrocities against minorities by majority community and police, particularly when

the election season approaches. A If the heritage subjects are to be included in the

syllabus divide it 1:1:1 for Hindus, Christians and Muslims. A For the Muslims,

support Arabian history and for the Christians something from the life of St George,

St Philomena or something what happened in Jerusalem. A If your supporters

destroyed public property, say that it is the second freedom struggle. A If others did so

tell that it is against democracy. A If your followers attack police or police station say

that it is the second Chowri Chowra. A If your follower happened to be a killer, make

sure that he gets the pension for freedom fighters. AJustify Gherao, hartal and

bandh if and only if your followers do it. A When you approach to old age, tell that you

are not an anti Hindu. A Declare that your wife is going to temple and you are not

against her personal freedom. A You say that you are only accompanying your wife in


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the old age .

A When you follow religious customs, make it sure that no one tells it publicly. A

Select your own cast youth for son in law and daughter in law, even when you fight

vigorously against cast system. ATake as much dowry as possible and fight against

it. A If you are an atheist, say that even in Russia and China people go to Budha

vihar. So you are also following their footsteps and that too for seeing what ishappening in the temples and say specifically that you are not going for

worshipping. A But you can chant Vedas, worship, accept poornakumbha reception,

after making sure that no familiar face is watching you A You should know that all

intellectuals, atheists and progressives in Kerala go to temple when they cross the

age of 65 and becomes almost useless for everything . A You have also to find a

suitable justification for anything and everything like the Kerala intellectuals do. A

Remember that for getting the credit as an intellectual, no quality or qualification is

required. A Neither poorva janma punyam, poorva janma karma phalam, blessings of

your parents or blessings of your gurus nor even your horoscope factors. A You

should only learn how to use your eyes, ears and tongue. A You should have a thick

skin and highly flexible tongue, suitable friends and adjustable wife. A All the abovementioned special qualities are given only to a very selected people by the creator.

Hence the Kerala type intellectuals are very few in numbers. A If you fall within this,

you can spend this janma lavishly, under others expenses, without working much,

with name and fame. Your janma can be made fully useful to you and your family,

by cheating others and making everyone fools. A Let god bless all Indian

intellectuals who are the assets of India for misguiding all the good people.!

Dr. N. Gopalakrishnan,IISH, Trivandrum

These facts about Indian Intellectuals take copies and circulate / e-mail

to all.


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