7/28/2019 Inanely Dealt , Artemis fowl's last will

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INANELY DEALT | FLAILING TO VERACITY

Kaede|17|NonBinary|Queer|Feminist|Fandoms|Student|Artist|Gamer|Whovian|Brony|Sherlockian|B

LU|

|British|Torchwood|ArtemisFowl|AlexRider|FinalFantasy|Faeries|Pagan|Shipper|Vegetarian|Sex+

PrefferedPronouns : He/His/Him

Translation of the Gnommish from The Last Guardian ((Spoilers))

The last will and testament of Artemis Fowl the Second.

Being the final wishes of Artemis Fowl in the event of his death at the hands of Opal Koboi.

Should he survive for forty-eight hours after the date of writing this will becomes null and void and shall

have no legal weight in any court, human or fairy.

I, Artemis Fowl, being of exceedingly sound mind and reasonably sound body bequeath my estate and

advice as follows.

To my father I leave the three hundred million dollars in bearer bonds that are hidden believe it or not

under my own bed, the last spot anyone would look and possibly the most booby trapped place on

Earth. Butler will know how to disengage the secutiy measures.

To my darling mother I leave my stocks portfolio including my shares in ethical funds and registered

charities which I know she will manage with her usual moral determination and I also bequeath to her

the department store on New Yorks Fifth Avenue which I had planned to give to her on her birthday.

I wish my brother Myles to inherit my laboratory and all its equipment, with access to the special

projects room to be granted on his eighth birthday when he will be mature enough to deal with other

dimensions, aliens and time travel.

For my brother Beckett I have purchased a lifetimes supply of slime so he can coat himself in gunge as

often as he pleases. I also wish Beckett to have the ant farm, provided that he promises not to eat any of

the ants.

My faithful bodyguard Butler is of course entitled to his generous severance package and is under no

obligation to stay on but it would be greatly appreciated if he renewed his contract and remained in the

employment of the Fowl family. Apart from his pension I wish Butler to become legal owner of the

apartments in which he has lived since I was born and the dojo where tried* to teach me to fight.

To Juliet Butler who has protected my brothers so faithfully I leave my sound system which is based on

gel speaker technology and which should make even her collection of modern music sound reasonably

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nonoffensive. I also leave to Juliet the three sports cars and a lifetime subscription to the wrestling

channel.

To my friend Captain Holly Short of the Lower Elements Police I leave the thirty-seven solid gold bars

that were the price of her release when I kidnapped her all those years ago. I know that I can never

make up for that crime but hopefully you can think of me as a friend when you do think of me.

To the dwarf Mulch Diggums I leave the refrigerated warehouse in London Docklands that is stocked

with enough frozen chicken to satisfy even his appetite for several decades.

To the centaur Foaly I leave the blueprints to an interstellar craft that is so advanced that it makes his

spacecraft look like hot air balloons. I have hidden the designs inside his own system where he would

never think to look for them. To find them Foaly must open his own security file on me, blink eight times

and say the words Artemis Fowl is smarter that I am.

If this does not work then at least I will smile in the after life