in the name of love2 - kabbalah centrecdn1.kabbalah.com/.../nameoflove2/lect01/slides.pdf · 2010....
TRANSCRIPT
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in the name of loveemail: [email protected]: askmonicaberg.comtwitter: @monicaberg74
2
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1.To be emotionally intelligent is to know each other’s worlds in great detail starting from their childhood to their current experiences.(It means you know their history even before you were in the picture, what their life was like and the people who were in their lives.)
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2. Express & grow fondness for one another, communicated through daily actions (you know their hopes, dreams, aspirations and you encourage & support them consistently).In short, part of your brain is designated to store all relevant information about your partner’s life.
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The stories in your head – false or real – effect your interaction & reaction to your spouse, partner, friend, sibling, parent, etc.
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What are your narratives? (Story you tell yourself)
How does this negatively influence your behavior in relationships?
What narratives do you know about the person you’re in a relationship with?
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What’s wrong?
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going
through now?
WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH
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WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH
I’m hungry.I’m
hungry.
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WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH
I’m sleepy.I’m
sleepy.
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I’m tired.I’m
tired.
WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH
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What’s wrong?
I don’t see why you are making such a big deal
out of this.
WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH
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Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.
I liked it better before.
WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH
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Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.
$50 & it doesn’t look that different!
WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH
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I like that one better.
Pick anything & let’s go home!
WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISHWhile shopping...
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MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
We need to talk.
I need to complain.
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Sure, go ahead.
I don’t want you to.
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I’m not yelling!
Yes, I am yelling because I think
this is important.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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We need...I want...
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It’s your decision.
The correct decision should be
obvious by now.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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Do what you want.
You’ll pay for this later.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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I’m not upset.
Of course I’m upset, you moron!
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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You’re so manly.
You need a shave & you sweat a lot.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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You’re certainly attentive tonight.
Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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I’m not emotional & I’m NOT
overreacting!
I’ve got my period.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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Be romantic, turn out the lights.
I have flabby thighs.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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I want new curtains.
...and carpet & furniture &
wallpaper.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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I need wedding shoes.
The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade
of white.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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Hang the picture there.
NO, I mean hang it there.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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I heard a noise.
I noticed you were almost asleep.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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Do you love me?
I’m going to ask for something
expensive.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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How much do you love me?
I did something today you’re
really not going to like.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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I’ll be ready in a minute.
Kick off your shoes & find a game on TV.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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Is my bum fat?
Tell me I’m beautiful.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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You have to learn to communicate.
Just agree with me.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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Are you listening to me?!
TOO LATE, you’re dead.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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YesNO
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NoNO
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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MaybeNO
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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I’m sorry.You’ll
be sorry.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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This kitchen is so inconvenient.
I want a new house.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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Do you like this recipe?
It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get
used to it.
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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Was that the baby?
Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him
until he goes to sleep?
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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All we’re going to buy is a soap dish.
It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics
department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you
bring your checkbook?
MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
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What things do you blame on your partner (or any significant relationship you are in) - that in reality is not their fault?
What is the designated issue you’ve placed on them?
What is your real unaddressed issue?
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1. Sit down in a peaceful space, either alone or with someone who’s willing to act as a friend or advisor.
4 Steps to Find & Dispel Your Designated Issue
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4 Steps to Find & Dispel Your Designated Issue
2. Imagine as vividly as you can that your designated issue is gone. Vanished. Not even a memory.
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4 Steps to Find & Dispel Your Designated Issue3. Ask yourself, “Now that I’ve fixed that, what problems do I still have to face?” The answer will be sobering. Your unpaid rent, your Aunt’s illness – be prepared for all the unglamorous, frightening realities your life will spill from the lead-lined box of your designated issues.
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4. Pick one of these unpleasant problems & take at least one step toward solving it.
4 Steps to Find & Dispel Your Designated Issue
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True love is NOT conditional.
True love exists even after someone refuses to hear us, doesn’t understand us or take our advice. Truly loving someone is when they’re disappointing you/upsetting you/perhaps undermining you but you still feel love for them.
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The first step in this shift of awareness is to consider the following:
Write a time where you did not act with true love & list the circumstances surrounding it.
Write a time where you felt or behaved with a lack of love because you felt anger, disappointment or stress.
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WEEKLY CHALLENGE - homeworkApply one of the following tools to a relationship conflict you have this week & use these tools to:
1. Recognize Your Story2. Discover Your Designated Issue3. Practice Unconditional Love
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Tuesday, November 16th @ 8 PMblog: askmonicaberg.comtwitter: @monicaberg74
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in the name of love Part 2
Lecture 2