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In The Darkness

Poetry by Peggi Trusty

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Poetry heals the wounds

inflicted by reason.

—Novalis

© Christos Georghiou | Dreamstime.com

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Table of Contents

Unknown 1 (The Deist) 5

Help me 6

Guest, the sonnet 8

Presence 9

Your pleasure 10

I was made to worship 11

I love you 12

In the darkness 13

Sunset 14

Adoration 16

Why are you so in love 17

If 18

Perpetual Lover 19

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The terrible weight of redemption denied The black cloud from which forgiveness hides

Damned to wander Damnation subscribed

Hell hath great fury where revulsion presides Impaled on utterances long passed by

Transgressions towering up into the sky

Ruthless tyrants Inflicting a godless demise

Birthed from a dreadful devotion built on lies Cradle the unloved

Adorned with hostility Resurrected for detestation Burdened by impossibility

To be abandoned Convicted and tried

Existing under the banner

Of redemption denied

DENIED

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UNKNOWN 1 (THE DEIST)

Some live life in common rage Believing in some vanished sage

And praying to the dried dead bone That created me and left me alone

And the prophets come and still they go Promising a grand finale’ show

And still I cry to the cold concrete Hoping to kill the demon defeat

But the receiver sings a dial tone And the back of my bible reads, “Author Unknown”

Simply Creator. A god, you can’t be How else could you stand so far from me?

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It’s not enough to bow my head

And have no words to say

It’s just ‘cause I’m stressed

And my life’s a mess

And my soul has gone astray

So God

Not the one I worship everyday

In my passion and my play

No

Not the one whom I praise

With the curses and the concoctions

I spin half dazed

God

My disheartened lover

The victim of my viciousness

HELP ME

As though these garbled words

Have wings

Lost in a mind that

Can not sing

Even though I have dressed myself

In demon skin

And lay beneath the whoredom

Of a thousand sins

ME HELP

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Perhaps my effort might be confused

And you’re just thinking that

you’re being used

And I just want to be amused

I know my words don’t

come out right like before

And I walked away,

and I closed the door

And maybe I don’t love you anymore

But God

In the midst of my corruption

Tangled and petted

by Satan’s seduction

I know that I need you to dwell within

And I want so badly to love you again

So this is my unofficial

Pretend resignation

From the life I can’t seem to let go

The unpublished proclamation

Captive in this cryptic emancipation

To a God I may never know

HELP ME ME HELP

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GUEST, the sonnet

Somebody wanna tell me what’s goin’ on The sun hasn’t shone in a long time So I shine my own light for a dawn Unless God wants to give me a sign The Devil is at the dinner table The door was open and he just walked in Now I feel like I am living in Babel- But that is no excuse for me to sin So do I want to get it up or just get down

I keep thinking that it is all wrong I imagine that I could just wait around ‘Til my dinner guest decides to move on So my phone is disconnected and off goes my light And Satan wants to know if he can spend the night

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PRESENCEPRESENCE

“Do not cast me away from Your presence, “Do not cast me away from Your presence,

And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.” And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.”

Psalms 51:11Psalms 51:11

I want to dwell in your caress I want to dwell in your caress

So that the shadow I cast is yoursSo that the shadow I cast is yours

Envelop me in your darknessEnvelop me in your darkness

Cast me only on to your shores Cast me only on to your shores

Let your breath alone escape my lipsLet your breath alone escape my lips

In your embrace permit me to growIn your embrace permit me to grow

Let my life’s purpose be our eclipseLet my life’s purpose be our eclipse

Even if your mysteries I never knowEven if your mysteries I never know

Heaven is much nearer and will not delayHeaven is much nearer and will not delay

But I am in need of your presence todayBut I am in need of your presence today

© Isak86 | Dreamstime.com

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I hunger

to be more like you

My lips wet

with insatiable desire

I vacillate between sin

and salvation

Heaven and hell’s fire

How can I be close to you?

How do I starve

the beast with in?

How can I know more of you?

And be released from temptation?

In every breath I call your name

Seeking your pleasure

at every turn

Yet I am locked

in some strange glass house

A window away from what I yearn

Let me sit at your welcome table

Let there be plenty good room

for even me

Fill me up,

that I might over flow

Calm this terrible sea

I am arrogant and crooked

Strong and weak

I have been

beautiful and horrible

Now a servant’s heart

is all I seek

I know that you will

love me always

Just teach me how

to love you too

Sew me into your bosom

Do not shake me if I beg you to

Oh and Lord, let me serve you

That is all I want to do

One hand stretched

out to your people

The other hand

holding on to you

YOUR PLEASUREYOUR PLEASURE

© Claudio Fichera | Dreamstime.com

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I WAS MADE TO WORSHIP I WAS MADE TO WORSHIP

I was made to worship

To call your name from revering lips

So precious, so holy, so awesome

Inhaling your breath in constant sips

I was made to worship

With every movement I adore

Every beat of my heart

Drums praise to you, Lord

My understanding is imperfect

My leaning toward sin

But I can prostrate my spirit before you

And you will make me over again

Endow my soul in spotless array

Take my transgression from me

Remove any wall between us

While I lift me voice to thee

Cause I was made to worship

Created to praise you in everything

To wash your feet with my tears

And in every song that I sing

If my voice be silent

Then raise my hands, is what I’ll do

And if my hands are full

Than with my feet I’ll run to you

I was made to worship

No one can love you like me

To cry after you in desperation

And carry your cross to Calvary

I was made to worship

So praise is what I’ll do

With everything that I am

I was made to worship you

http://quailchurch.com/announcements/revel-college-worship-night

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I LOVE YOU

“My soul followeth hard after thee:

thy right hand upholdeth me”. Psa 63:8

I love you like the moon loves the sun

Pursuing her around the vast ocean of sky

Following hard, yet my desire is undone

Still I must reflect you or my purpose will die

I love you like the dry earth loves the rain

Mouth open, so you might quench my thirst

Drowning my will, washing away my pain

Fill my spirit until my boundaries burst

I love you like waves always kissing the shore

And still you love me so much more

© Nikhil Gangavane | Dreamstime.com

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Fall upon meFall upon me Press your presence into Press your presence into the crevasse of darknessthe crevasse of darkness

Where light has never shownWhere light has never shown I long to see you thereI long to see you there

Mending the wounds of the my Mending the wounds of the my strange addictionsstrange addictions

Fastening flesh to desiccated boneFastening flesh to desiccated bone

Lord I need youLord I need you My spirit cries after you My spirit cries after you

In ways my mind In ways my mind has never knownhas never known

I can’t live without youI can’t live without you Breathlessly panting after you Breathlessly panting after you

With every whisper With every whisper and every groanand every groan

My spirit dances in your presence My spirit dances in your presence

And my lips sing your praiseAnd my lips sing your praise But touch the secret placesBut touch the secret places

Those that have known no gazeThose that have known no gaze

And then Lord, bless meAnd then Lord, bless me Do not forget that I love youDo not forget that I love you

Do not forget my outstretched handDo not forget my outstretched hand And your promise to make me newAnd your promise to make me new

And bathe my deprivation in your holinessAnd bathe my deprivation in your holiness

Drown my desperation in your bloodDrown my desperation in your blood My starvation is in anticipationMy starvation is in anticipation Of the inclination of your loveOf the inclination of your love

So make my darkness lightSo make my darkness light

When it comes, as it always willWhen it comes, as it always will Be the moon to brighten my nightBe the moon to brighten my night

I fall so farI fall so far

But there you areBut there you are Standing thereStanding there Your arms ajarYour arms ajar

Oh I love youOh I love you

Lord I love youLord I love you Just because of who you areJust because of who you are

IN THE DARKNESSIN THE DARKNESS

© George Mastoridis | Dreamstime.com

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It was a glorious and awesome arrival

The day

As fresh as spring

Life

The perfect cool breeze smelling of distant

rose

Coming from where

Going to where

Only God truly knows

And there it goes

Slipping beyond my vision and yet

Colorful memories embracing the sky

Oh, but it’s just another sunset

From the lips of God

Life is born

Hands caressing

Each perfect form

His own breath and blood

That his creation might exist

And he beckons such a life

With a life-giving kiss

Thus His heart breaks

when that life is gone

But he whispers ever so gently

Though the sun sets

There comes a dawn

He understands loss

He too grieves with pain

When his own son died

He sent the rain

But after the rest was over

His son rose again

On the East side

Of the tree of life

Feet dangling in the cool sea of glass

There will sit the resurrected

Waiting peacefully

For you to come pass

Meet them there

Meet them there

Just beyond the twilight

At a time we’ll not forget

Somewhere beyond today

Just beyond the sunset

SUNSETSUNSET

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It was a glorious and awesome arrival

The day

As fresh as spring

Life

The perfect cool breeze smelling of distant

rose

Coming from where

Going to where

Only God truly knows

And there it goes

Slipping beyond my vision and yet

Colorful memories embracing the sky

Oh, but it’s just another sunset

From the lips of God

Life is born

Hands caressing

Each perfect form

His own breath and blood

That his creation might exist

And he beckons such a life

With a life-giving kiss

Thus His heart breaks

when that life is gone

But he whispers ever so gently

Though the sun sets

There comes a dawn

He understands loss

He too grieves with pain

When his own son died

He sent the rain

But after the rest was over

His son rose again

On the East side

Of the tree of life

Feet dangling in the cool sea of glass

There will sit the resurrected

Waiting peacefully

For you to come pass

Meet them there

Meet them there

Just beyond the twilight

At a time we’ll not forget

Somewhere beyond today

Just beyond the sunset

SUNSET

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ADORATIONADORATION

I want to love you as David didI want to love you as David did

and know your face as Abrahamand know your face as Abraham

Can I walk with you like Enoch?Can I walk with you like Enoch?

And be called like Moses to the Promised LandAnd be called like Moses to the Promised Land

How Can I serve you as those before?How Can I serve you as those before?

Living only to please you more and moreLiving only to please you more and more

Impregnate me with promise, like MaryImpregnate me with promise, like Mary

Use me like the maid of Naaman's WifeUse me like the maid of Naaman's Wife

Let me praise you like the daughters of HemanLet me praise you like the daughters of Heman

If I must be like the Phoenician woman, If I must be like the Phoenician woman,

chastise me but save my lifechastise me but save my life

My adoration is my praiseMy adoration is my praise

My song is my voiceMy song is my voice

The breath of my body is your spiritThe breath of my body is your spirit

And worship, my only choiceAnd worship, my only choice

Let me worship you like Mary MadelineLet me worship you like Mary Madeline

on my knees and at your feeton my knees and at your feet

And write a perfect psalm like HannahAnd write a perfect psalm like Hannah

Even if my presence in you sanctuaryEven if my presence in you sanctuary

is only to weepis only to weep

How do I tell you that I love you?How do I tell you that I love you?

How do I beckon you to move upon my heart?How do I beckon you to move upon my heart?

When your perfect presence is all I seekWhen your perfect presence is all I seek

And my will, that I might do my partAnd my will, that I might do my part

You are the bosom wherein I restYou are the bosom wherein I rest

The mind wherein my dreams manifestThe mind wherein my dreams manifest

You are the beginning and the end of my dayYou are the beginning and the end of my day

The strength in my painsThe strength in my pains

reignsreigns

holding the devil at bayholding the devil at bay

My father and motherMy father and mother

the Lord of my lifethe Lord of my life

My vision my perceptionMy vision my perception

Perfect peace in strifePerfect peace in strife

Let me serve you as I was created to doLet me serve you as I was created to do

Let every portion of my life glorify youLet every portion of my life glorify you

Oh bless me LordOh bless me Lord

Fill me as you have never doneFill me as you have never done

Make you spirit my apparelMake you spirit my apparel

Mingled with the blood of your sonMingled with the blood of your son

Oh bless me fatherOh bless me father

Engorge my praiseEngorge my praise

Let my life be a blessingLet my life be a blessing

All of my daysAll of my days

Any darkness I seeAny darkness I see

Let it be the darkness you sendLet it be the darkness you send

And let the close of my lifeAnd let the close of my life

Be only at your AmenBe only at your Amen

My poetry is my praiseMy poetry is my praise

My pen is my voiceMy pen is my voice

My desire My desire ----birthed by your spiritbirthed by your spirit

And worshipAnd worship

Yes worshipYes worship

My only choiceMy only choice

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WHY ARE YOU SO IN LOVE I am undone because of your mercy

As though there is some controversy

Concerning where my heart belongs

I drink from wells of my own foolishness

I’ve become my own God

which makes no sense

And I wonder where it all went wrong

So why are you so in love with me?

How does your mercy still cover me?

Does loving me lead to your misery?

Oh please don’t let it cease to be.

You search for me when I walk away

Put your arms around me

and beg me to stay

Listen to my cursing and

bless me anyway

Just because you love that way

I run from you and you fight for me

Giving your life on Calvary

Just so we can share eternity

What have I done that you should

want to be with me?

How can you hold my brokenness?

Knowing my leaning is toward

chronic transgress

Don’t you know that my life’s a mess?

Yet somehow you love me nonetheless

So why are you so in love with me?

Why does your mercy still cover me?

Does loving me lead to your misery?

Please don’t let it cease to be.

And where would I be if it weren’t for you

Always pressing in your stubborn pursue

Its deprivation that makes me

finally turn to you

And stay is all you ask me to do

I wish that I could hold your cry

Place me in the rock

so I can watch you pass by

Experience your love facing you eye to eye

And wrestle with you until

the breaking of the sky

Teach me how to be in love with you

Give mercy like you show me to

Erase the misery I put you through

Please show me how to love you too

© Thinkart | Dreamstime.com

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IF If there were peace for my soul It would rest in sleep Where only the words of my savior My soul would keep If there were kisses I treasured And lips I have known It would be the sweet morning whisper Where His promises are sown If I had a dream It would solely be kept In his tender palms Where we both have wept And if I must walk As He tells me I shall It would merely be an emerging From the crevice wherein we dwell Let me not rise up And forget what has passed Let me treasure my scars And the hills in my path Let time be the maker Of those small and great And God own the kisses In the last breath that I take And let it be If the world must see Of all that I am It is He in me

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My soul cries out to you

Unworthy, and incomplete

Full of terrible desire

Come to me now Lord

Fill me, consume me

Let it be as Jeremiah’s fire

I have loved too many lovers

Unknowing

That my want was for you

And now I am

Beckoned into your throne room

Perfectly prostrate in my pursue

Your presence cascades from heaven

My adoration leaps

to meet you in mid-flight

I tremble

And you hold me close

Covering me in your wondrous delight

I have wandered the world

I have yearned to love

The only thing I’ve ever wanted

The only thing I’ve been destitute of

But you placed your hand on me

Poured your spirit into my soul

Gave me your song and your love

You’ve made my heart whole

You are my everything

The very air that I breathe

Perfect, Awesome, Holy

The mind in which

my existence was conceived

So let me your perpetual lover

Worship you without end

Seek what you seek,

hurt when you hurt

Never to wander again

LOVER

PERPETUAL

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PeggiTrusty.com On Facebook: Peggi Trusty, Author & Poet

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