in search of assurance - by k.k. alavi

8/6/2019 In Search of Assurance - By K.K. ALAVI

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IN SEARCH OFASSURANCE

K.K. ALAVI

1 Introduction.......................................2

2 MY CHILDHOOD............................2

3 AN EVENTFUL DAY......................2

4 FURTHER STUDY.......................... 3

5 CHANGED BY LOVE.....................6

6 GOD DELIVERS ME.......................8

7 FINDING THE LIGHT.....................9

8 A GREAT DECISION....................13

9 IN HIS SERVICE........................... 14

10 CONCLUSION............................. 1410.1 Quiz...........................................14

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When I read this boy's spiritual plight, I

felt as though the Christian was speakingto my heart also. In fact, I considered myheart to be in a worse condition from theheart of this youth. How could I findfreedom from this spiritual disease? Thebooklet offered the cure. I rejected itbecause I had been taught that God aloneforgave sins - not Jesus, the prophet.

Nevertheless, I could not free myself fromthe strong argument in the booklet. Ibecame uncomfortably aware of my ownsinfulness. What would become of mewhen I died? I could not escape death orthe Day of Judgement. I made up my mindto find out more about Jesus with the helpof a correspondence course advertised inthis booklet.

4. FURTHER STUDY

The correspondence course centrepromptly sent the course. Unfortunately,

the postman delivered it to my uncle togive to me. He opened it and discovered itsChristian contents. The next day heshowed it to my father and my uncles.They decided to end this study before itbegan!

That same evening when I came back fromthe school, my father tied me to a pillar of our veranda and beat me with a stick untilI felt weak. The next morning he called meand spoke lovingly to me. He said, "WeMuslims should not read such books. Theyare forbidden, especially the books of theChristians. Since their books are soattractive, we, too, will become Christiansif we read them. What will happen to ourfamily then? It will ruin our whole life.Our community will reject us, and it willbe curse on Islam." I promised my fatherthat I would never again read these books.

I tore up the booklet and burnt it cursing

myself for failing to do what my friendhad done earlier with his book. From thattime on, I became a devout Muslimreciting daily prayers. Yet as the days wentby, I lacked peace of mind whenever Iremembered the booklet and thought aboutthe condition of my heart.

How could I forget the name "Jesus" whenI repeated it every evening in my recitationof the Qur'an! So I decided to make astudy of Jesus in the Qur'an and in otherMuslim books. I did not know muchArabic, but I persevered in my study withthe help of a friend - Yusuf Mawlawi. Hewas a Muslim teacher in an Arabic schoolnear our house and a close friend of ourfamily. I found that 'Isa has a veryimportant place both in the Qur'an and inthe Hadith or Muslim tradition. In theQur'an, it seemed to me, 'Isa was evenmore important than my prophetMuhammad. Soon both the teacher and my

family became suspicious about my desireto learn more about 'Isa. They gentlysuggested that I concentrate more onMuhammad. Still I continued to wonderabout those Qur'anic passages whichreferred to Jesus, to His unique birth, andto His marvellous deeds.

(And remember) when the angels said: O Mary!Lo! Allah giveth thee glad tidings of a wordfrom Him, whose name is the Messiah, Jesus,son of Mary, illustrious in the world and the

Hereafter, and one of those brought near (untoAllah). He will speak unto mankind in his cradleand in his manhood, and he is of therighteousness. She said: My Lord! How can Ihave a child when no mortal hath touched me?He said: So (it will be). Allah createth what Hewill. If He decreeth a thing, He saith unto itonly: Be! and it is. And He will teach him theScripture and wisdom, and the Torah and theGospel. And will make him a messenger untothe Children of Israel, (saying): Lo! I come unto

IN SEARCH OF ASSURANCE

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you with a sign from your Lord. Lo! I fashion

for you out of clay the likeness of a bird, and Ibreathe into it and it is a bird, by Allah's leave. Iheal him who was born blind, and the leper, andI raise the dead, by Allah's leave. And Iannounce unto you what ye eat and what yestore up in your houses. Lo! herein verily is aportent for you, if ye are to be believers. And (Icome) confirming that which was before me of the Torah, and to make lawful some of thatwhich was forbidden unto you. I come unto youwith a sign from your Lord, so keep your duty toAllah and obey me. (Sura Al Imran 3:45-50)

I noticed also that the Qur'an refersespecially to the Torah (Old Testament)and the Injil (New Testament), exhortingme to believe in them because they are"guidance and light" (Sura Al-Ma'ida5:46). Another verse in particular came tomy mind often: "And if thou art in doubt(Muhammad) concerning that which Wereveal unto thee, then question those whoread the Scripture before thee..." (Sura

Yunis 10:94)

When I read this verse, I remembered theChristians and their booklet. According toIslam, Christians also are ahl ul-kitab (the

People of the Book). If the Qur'an

encouraged Muhammad to share hisdoubts with Christians, then why not me?Yet it was difficult for me to approachChristians. I had so little contact withthem. Besides, my family would hardlyapprove!

Not far from my home there is a ChristianMission Hospital. One day a friendAbdullah and I decided to go theresecretly. When we arrived the hospitalpharmacist, Mr. Kunykunyu, kindly

directed us to the missionary. We wereyoung and nervous and did not know whatto expect. But the missionary greeted us ina friendly way and made us feel at ease.

After some discussion the missionarysuggested that we attend Sunday Schoolclasses and directed us to the Christianreading room. There we met thereading-room worker. Later he became myvery close friend and a true brother whohelped me in many troubles. He enrolledme in a correspondence course based onthe Gospel according to John. BothAbdullah and I attended Sunday Schoolfor several weeks without the knowledgeof our parents. Sometimes my friendkindly gave us bus fare; sometimes wewalked the five mile distance. On oneoccasion some of our neighbours caughtus. They questioned Abdullah and beathim until he finally revealed our secretactivity. Next evening, when I returned

from school, I saw my mother and youngersister crying. They knew what my fatherhad already prepared for me. As I enteredthe house, my father suddenly appeared,shouting. He caught me, tied me up, putme against a wall, beat me and rubbedground, green chilli on my face and in myeyes - all the while asking me why I readChristian books and associated with








Christians. My mother fainted. After some

time, with the help of a neighbour womanand my sister-in-law, I was taken to awater tank and washed.

The following morning my father calledand asked me to repeat the Muslim creed:"There is no god but Allah andMuhammad is the prophet of Allah." Heled me through the recitation. Then hewarned me about Christianity, its falseteaching about Jesus Christ, the corruptionof the holy Injil and the bad lives of Christians. He asked my sister-in-law toburn my Christian books, which she did.All this affected me greatly, and I criedbitterly. I had no peace of mind, for myopportunity to learn more about Jesus fromthe Gospels and from Christian friends hadbeen frustrated.

When I went to the place where I burnt"The Heart of Pak," I sorely regretted thedestruction of the booklet. As I recalled

the conversation of this booklet, the sametension once more confronted me: theboy's joyful experience of forgiveness andthe heavy burden of sin which lay on myown heart. As a Muslim, I had learned thatwe ourselves are responsible for our sins;no one else can bear another's burden(Sura Al-An'am 6:165). Then how couldJesus forgive anyone? Nevertheless, Iprayed to God for further guidance.

An awareness of my own sin never left

me. It gnawed at my heart continually.After two weeks, I felt again a strongdesire to see my Christian friends. I had toshare my difficulties and doubts. Themissionary encouraged me and answeredmy questions about Christian beliefs andpractices. Most of his answers satisfied mebecause he also knew the Qur'an andMuslim faith.

I returned home with a copy of the whole

Gospel which my friend had given to me.Although I was very glad to have it, I wasafraid that someone at home might see it.So I put the Injil in a plastic bag and hid itunder a stone in the forest. I often went tothe forest to read it, especially St. John'sGospel. One verse, the words of Jesus,gave me some consolation: "Do not letyour hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trustalso in me" John 14:1.

The words "believe also in me" impressedme greatly at that time. Although I wasanxious and troubled, this verse comfortedme.

The next Sunday, while on my way toSunday School, I noticed my uncle on thesame bus. I trembled at the thought of what my father would do to me after myuncle reported to him. In spite of this, Iattended Sunday School and spent sometime with the missionary.

Before I met my new Christian friends, Ihad strong feelings against Christiansbecause I heard such bad reports aboutthem. Yet when I observed themissionary's character, his way of life andhis attitude toward Muslims, I knew thatthe accusations I had heard againstChristians certainly did not apply to him.This made me think. Was his love greaterthan that of the Muslims? Had the MessiahJesus done more for him than my prophet

had done for me? I was confused for I heldthe opinion that apart from Muslims,anyone else, including the Christians whobelieve that God is the Messiah, is anunbeliever (Kafir) and is rejected by God.As the Qur'an says: "They surelydisbelieve who say: Lo! Allah is the thirdof three; when there is no God save theOne God. If they desist not from so saying








a painful doom will fall on those of them

who disbelieve" (Sura Al-Ma'ida 5:72,73).

I remembered also how I thought thatbecause I was a Muslim who had

submitted myself to God, I was holier thanChristians. But as I became more aware of my own sinfulness, I realised that themissionary was the one who had submittedhimself to God, for his character proved it.I could tell that his love came from JesusChrist, as "The Heart of Pak" haddescribed it.

Like a magnet the love of Jesus attractedme. I thought that if Jesus were my mastertoo, how I would love him! Yet, when theidea of becoming a Christian crossed mymind, I rejected it as an evil thought fromSatan - for I was a Muslim.

I returned from Sunday School in greatfear. I was ready to accept whatever myfather did to me, but for two days nothinghappened. On the third day, after schoolmy father caught me and threw me into abush. Then he seized a stick and beat meso severely that I almost died. My mother

ran to rescue me, but she was beaten also.It was only by the grace of God that Irecovered. Again I confessed the Muslimcreed and promised my father that I wouldhave no more contact with Christians. Wasmy confession only an escape from furtherbeating?

My friend Abdullah had spread this newsthroughout the district, and my life became

very difficult. People jeered at me, called

me names and even threw stones at me. Onthe way home from school they called out,"There goes the cursed one!" and "Herecomes Mathai, the Nasrani (Christian)!"Even my relatives, friends and teacherswere cruel to me. I was confused, weary,lonely and troubled. During this period theHoly Gospel was my only constantcompanion. Every time I had anopportunity, I went to the forest to readand study it.

Again the old tension arose in my heart asI read the Gospel in secret. On essentialpoints it clearly differed from my ownIslamic beliefs. How puzzling for aMuslim and yet how thought-provokingwere the following words of Jesus!

I am the way, the truth and the life. No onecomes to the Father except through Me. John14:6

Now this is eternal life: that they may knowYou, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whomYou have sent. John 17:3

Yet to all who received Him, to all those whobelieved in His name, He gave the right tobecome children of God. John 1:12

If anyone loves Me, he will obey My teaching.My Father will love him, and We will come tohim and make our home with him. John 14:23

I had no one who could explain themeaning of these verses to me. Yet Icontinued to ask God for guidance.

5. CHANGED BY LOVE

The pain and wounds of my body werehealed, but the marks produced by the loveof the Christians and the effects of the








booklet remained. I felt something forcing

me to renew this friendship and I decidedto meet my friends again. As I set out,relatives and neighbours saw me, and I feltafraid. In fact, I decided to leave thatplace. When I reached the home of themissionary, I shared my problems withhim. I showed him the scars of my woundsand asked him to help me to go to Mysorewhere my married sister lived. My sisterloved me, and she and her husband wouldlet me stay there. The missionary,

however, advised me to return home. Hetold me that later, when I became older, Icould leave. Until then I should livequietly at home, and growing in faith andlove influence my family and friends. God,he said, would be my Saviour, Protectorand Friend. At that time I was in theseventh standard at school.

Since it was evening I was afraid. I beggedthem to let me stay overnight in theChristian reading-room. I stayed there an

extra day with my friend C. R. George.Some people from my area, knowing that Iwas there, came with the police to get me.They asked my friend to give me up, andeven accused him of kidnapping me. Hereplied, "Alavi is here of his own accord.You can take him, but do not beat him anymore." When some Muslims came to thesupport of their Christian friends in thereading room, a quarrel started among theMuslims themselves. While they were all

arguing, I ran out the back door and acrossthe field, jumped into a canal andpretended that I was taking a bath.

After a while some Muslims came andfound me. They took me to a Muslimreading-room called "Mappila Nadu"where they asked me questions, shouted atme and abused me. During this time, mymother had been searching for me in the

homes of my relatives. Just at that time my

brother-in-law found me and rescued me.As soon as we reached my home, myfather sent my younger sister to call myuncles. By this time a crowd of people hadgathered in front of my house.

When they had all come together, myfather asked each one, "What shall we dowith Alavi? We have tried our best to keephim away from Christians. What else canwe do?" The first uncle told my father tokill me by cutting my throat. The seconduncle decisively answered the same. Thethird had a different idea. He suggesteddeath by starvation. If they killed me asmy first uncle had said, the whole familywould go to jail. Then my mother criedout, "Kill me first and then my son!" Thismade me cry bitterly. I cannot describe thepain and fear that was in my heart while Iwondered what they would do to me. Thenthe group accepted the advice of the thirduncle. One of the uncles beat me cruelly

until my father stopped him. My fatherthen tied my hands behind my back, and Istayed like that for three weeks. Heordered that I should be given food onlyonce a day, but when he was away, mymother gave me food.

One day my father and his younger brothercame home, along with a blacksmith. Myuncle asked me to confess the Muslimcreed again before my father. The wordswould not come out of my mouth. Mymother, sister and others shouted at me torecite it, but still I could not. I did notknow what happened to me. I could notspeak. Finally, my father ordered theblacksmith to place two iron shackles andchain on my legs and lock it. I was chainedup like this for the next six weeks. Myformer friend Abdullah, who had torn uphis booklet, visited me and asked me what








had made me do this. He knew it was the

booklet! I did not answer him, but as I laychained, I remembered the words of theHoly Gospel:

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God;trust also in me. John 14:1

Then you will know the truth, and the truth willset you free. John 8:32

When I looked at my chains, was Imocking myself in recalling the words of

Jesus? Perhaps it is in hard circumstancessuch as these that we best experience thecomfort of Jesus. He was very near to me,even more so than when I secretly readthese words from the Gospel in the forest.

6. GOD DELIVERS ME

After six weeks I escaped. My mother'scousin helped me. One day, when no oneelse was at home, he broke open the

chains. From that time on, I was allowedto be free since no one wanted to chain meagain. In fact, my family and friendstreated me kindly. For two weeks Iremained at home. Yet I wondered why Ishould live in a home and community thatcreated more fear than peace in my heart. Imade up my mind to leave.

One day, after my noon meal, I looked atmy mother's face and my eyes filled withtears - for my mother did not know myplan. It was my farewell to my home. Itold my mother I was going to take a bathand left the house. May God forgive mefor telling this and other lies that I shouldnever have told! I walked nearly ten milesto Tirur, the railway station and caught atrain to the city of Calicut, thirty milesaway. There I wondered about looking forwork. At last I found a job in a cafe. But

my life continued to be very unsettled.

Later I learned that during myimprisonment, my Christian friends sharedmy sufferings. They were praying for meand trying to find some way of helping mebut could not. In the meantime, Muslimreligious leaders commanded the people tostay away from our Christian MissionCompound and to withdraw their childrenfrom the nursery school. My friends wereattacked by name over the loudspeaker.Guards were placed at the compound gatesto see that no one entered. Muslims wereonly allowed to go to the Christiandispensary for treatment. Soon, however,the situation returned to normal. Overanother loudspeaker someone called out,"Let us stop troubling the Christians andpay more attention to the works of Allah!"After some weeks the trouble ended.

The owner of the cafe, a Muslim, was notpleased when I enrolled in another Bible

correspondence course. I continued towork in the cafe for five months. Then Ileft Calicut and went to my sister's homein Mysore. There I wrote a letter to myfriend George, who told my other friends.This was the first news they had that Godhad delivered me from my chains. I endedmy letter with the words, "I am all right. Ikeep praying the Lord's Prayer."

After working a year in Mysore with mybrother-in-law and another eighteen

months on a merchant ship out of Calicut,I returned to my own area. Again I met myfriend and other friends, who were happyto see me. I could not meet the missionarybecause he had returned to his homeland.From there I returned to Mysore where mybrother-in-law employed me in his hotel.Then through his recommendation Iobtained an apprentice's post as a lineman








in the telegraph department. But again

misfortune struck. Hip trouble forced meto give up this job.

I decided to return to Malabar for medicaltreatment. By this time my friend wasworking in a mission hospital. He helpedme obtain a medical examination. Themissionary, who had now come back toIndia, was very glad to see me and askedabout all that happened to me while I wasin chains and during my wanderings. Hetold me that many people had been prayingfor me. Then he gave me an introductionto another missionary who could help mewith my physical problem. I was veryhappy to meet this new friend. Later hebecame one of my spiritual fathers, and hiswife became my spiritual mother. With thehelp of this missionary and a doctor, I wasable to go for treatment to the ChristianCollege Hospital in Vellore.

After I returned from the hospital, I joined

the India Every Home Crusade at Mysorefor three months. In this way I coulddistribute tracts and share the good newsof Christ. When my sister and her husbandcame to know about this, however, theywere angry and forbade me to come totheir house. The missionary then found aplace for me to stay with a Christian pastorand his family at Gundulupet. It was awonderful experience to be with them, andI had the opportunity to study Christiandoctrine for four months. After this I

joined a bookmobile project with the IndiaEvangelical Lutheran Church and spent ayear distributing Christian books indifferent parts of South India. God wasleading me into His service.

I was eager to study the Bible in moredetail, so I joined a one year Bible courseat Concordia Seminary, Nagercoil, in June,

1970. I remember how glad I was to have

this chance to study the Bible! In thelibrary there I also found many good bookson Islam which helped me to clear manyof my doubts.

7. FINDING THE LIGHT

Now at college I was able to study, and Iconcentrated on the Person and work of Christ. I did this by studying again thepassages in the Qur'an that spoke of Christ

in the light of my growing faith in Jesusand increasing knowledge of the Bible.

One of my chief doubts concerned thesinlessness of Jesus and His authority toforgive the sins of others. It was difficultto avoid the contrast between thesinlessness of Jesus and the Qur'anicrecords of the sins of the other prophets.Thus the Qur'an, addressing Muhammad inparticular, says: "That God may forgivethee thy former and thy latter sins, and

complete His blessing upon thee, andguide thee on a straight path" (SuraAl-Fath 48:2; cf: Sura Ghafir 40:45; SuraMuhammad 47:19).

Since no laden soul can bear another'sburden (Sura Al-Fatir 35:18) then how can

he or anyone of these prophets bearanother's burden? But the Qur'an quotingthe angel Jibra'il, says of Mary's son: "Hesaid, I am only a messenger of thy Lord,that I may bestow on thee a faultless son"(Sura Maryam 19:9).








This fact is supported by a Hadith whichsays: "Each human baby is touched bySatan's finger at birth, save Mariam andher son."

The Injil also clearly indicates the purityand sinlessness of Jesus. "Can any of youprove me guilty of Sin? If I am telling the

truth, why don't you believe me?" (John8:46). The Injil further states that He takesaway our sins:

Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin islawlessness. But you know that He (Jesus)appeared to take away our sins. And in Him isno sin. (1 John 3:4,5).

Was it in order to bear the burdens of others that Jesus Himself was anunburdened soul? Though the Qur'an

declares Jesus as pure, it really offers noclue to the purpose of God in bestowingupon Mary a faultless son.

Further the Qur'an attributes qualities toJesus which it attributes to no otherprophets or apostles. He is described asGod's Word and a spirit from God:

O People of the Scripture! Do not exaggerate inyour religion, nor utter aught concerning Allahsave the truth. The Messiah Jesus son of Mary,was only a messenger of Allah, and His Word,

which He conveyed unto Mary, and a spirit fromHim. So believe in Allah and His messenger andsay not 'Three' - Cease (it is) better for you! -Allah is only one God... (Sura Al-Nisa' 4:171).

Thus also the angel Jibra'il addresses Marywith the following words: "...He said: So(it will be). Thy Lord saith: It is easy forMe. And (it will be that We may make of him a revelation for mankind and a mercy

from Us, and it is a thing ordained" (SuraMaryam 19:21; cf. Sura Al-Anbiya'21:91).

Whatever else the Qur'an has stated aboutJesus, it surely has established Him as a

unique person: His relation to God asGod's Word and a spirit from God; Hiscreative activities, His healings, Hisraising from the dead (Sura Al Imran3:49); His ascension into heaven and Hispresence in heaven today.

Through further study I also began tounderstand how the Biblical significanceof the term "Son of God" differs from theQur'anic understanding of "son of God".The Qur'an denies that God begets, or is

begotten, in a physical sense (Lam yalid wa lam yulad)). Eventually, however, Iaccepted that Jesus could be called "theSon of God" (as the Bible explains thisterm) in a spiritual sense, in the same waythat He is called God's Word. Here again Iwas grateful to the Qur'an for serving as abridge to a fuller comprehension of theBiblical significance of the term "Son of








God" when uniquely applied to Jesus.

No doubt, on the basis of Sura Al-Nisa,Muslims have rejected the Biblical accountof Jesus' death, resurrection and ascension:"And because of their saying: We slew theMessiah Jesus son of Mary, Allah'smessenger - They slew him not norcrucified, but it appeared so unto them;and lo! those who disagree concerning itare in doubt thereof; they have noknowledge thereof save pursuit of aconjecture; they slew him not for

certain..." (Sura Al-Nisa' 4:157-159).

Elsewhere, of course, the Qur'an refers tothe death of Jesus. But Muslim expositorsoffer conflicting opinions on some of theserelevant verses. The following are

significant passages, as translated byPickthall: "Peace on me the day I wasborn, and the day I die, and the day I shallbe raised alive!" (Sura Maryam 19:33).

(And remember) when Allah said: O Jesus! Lo!I am gathering thee and causing thee to ascendunto Me, and am cleansing thee of those who

disbelieve and am setting those who follow theeabove those who disbelieve until the Day of Resurrection. Then unto Me ye will (all) return,and I am judge between you as to that whereinye used to differ (Sura Al Imran 3:55).

I spake unto them only that which Thoucommandest me, (saying) Worship Allah, myLord and your Lord. I was a witness of themwhile I dwelt among them, and when Thoutookest me Thou wast the Watcher over them.Thou art Witness over all things (Sura Al Ma'ida5:117).

But is Pickthall's interpretation of mutawaffika "I am gathering thee", (SuraAl Imran 3:55) and tawaffaitani "Thoutookest me", (Sura Al-Ma'ida) correct?

Some respectable Muslim commentariestranslate this verb "to cause to die",indicating that the death of Jesus precededHis ascension into heaven.

In any event the Biblical accounts leave noroom for various interpretations about thetime, place and circumstances of Jesus'death. He was crucified, He died and Hewas buried. His crucifixion took placeoutside the walls of Jerusalem. It happenedwhen Pilate was governor of Judea. These

are facts of history. The Bible repeatedlyrefers to the death of Jesus in unambiguouslanguage. Just as clear in the Bible is theconnection of the death of Jesus with Hisresurrection from the dead and Hisascension, as well as the purpose of thesethree great events.

Thus these and other passages of the








Qur'an became clear to me in the light of

my reflection on the New Testamentportrayal of Christ. Not only did all thesepassages reveal the special relationshipwhich Jesus had with God; surely theyindicated also God's special purpose insending Jesus, His Word and Servant, intothis sinful world. Once more I recalled thebooklet, "The Heart of Pak". I concludedthat God has spoken his word of forgiveness to all sinners through Jesusalone, through His death on the cross and

His resurrection from the dead. As I readthe Bible more and more, it spoke to meand cleared my doubts, one by one.

Yet this question perplexed my mind:What about Muhammad, whose coming,according to the Qur'an, Jesus hadprophesied?

And when Jesus son of Mary said: O Children of Israel! Lo! I am the messenger of Allah untoyou, confirming that which was (revealed)before me in the Torah, and bringing goodtidings of a messenger who cometh after me,whose name is the Praised One. Yet when Hehath come unto them with clear proofs, they say:This is mere magic (Sura Al-Saff 61:6).

The Arabic for "Praised One" is Ahmad ,

which has the same root meaning asMuhammad. Does this passage not meanthat Jesus prophesied the coming of Muhammad? That is what I had beentaught and believed.

I examined the Bible to see what it saysabout Muhammad, but I could findnothing. I asked my professors the same

question and they too said that there is

nothing. But when I looked into a Muslimcommentary on the Qur'an, it quotedseveral Bible passages in support of thisunderstanding of Sura Al-Saff 61:6. Themain passage quoted was: "And I will praythe Father, and He shall give you anothercounsellor, to be with you forever"(John14:16).

The Greek Word for counsellor is parakletos. (Greek is the original languageof the New Testament.) The commentatorsaid that the original Greek word was periklutos, which means "Praised One".Christians, he said, substituted parakletosfor periklutos to remove the reference tothe prophet Muhammad.

I did not know Greek, and since it wasreally difficult for me to give up faith inMuhammad, I felt really troubled.Muhammad still held a great place in myheart, and I found it hard to give up the

belief in him as a prophet. I asked theGreek professor about these words. Hereplied that the word periklutos is not theGreek text of St. John. He then explainedclearly the original Biblical word, parakletos, and how the promise of Jesus(John 14:16) was fulfilled by the comingof the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:1-11) who livesalways with God's people as theirComforter and Guide.

I placed the problem before God and asked

Him to give me clear understanding. Onenight, after I had prayed and gone to bed, Icould not sleep. I heard a voice or felt asthough I had heard a voice. It said, "Get upand read!" I thought it was only myimagination. But I heard it again andagain. I got up and opened my Bible.Several times I read the passage in John14:15-17: "If you love me, you will obey








what I command. I will ask the Father, and

He will give you another Counsellor to bewith you for ever - the Spirit of truth. Theworld cannot accept Him, because itneither sees Him nor knows Him. But youknow Him, for He lives with you and willbe in you."

As I read these verses many questionscame into my mind. Did you read in theQur'an or Hadith, I asked myself, thatMuhammad is the Spirit of truth who isalways with you, a counsellor whom theworld cannot see or know, or who livesinside you? Then I realised that thesewords do not contain any prophecy of acoming prophet and cannot possibly beapplied to any human being. Moreover, Iremembered the fulfilment of thatprophecy in Acts 2:1-11, during the life of the first believers in Christ. Now Iunderstood this great truth. The Counsellorwhom Jesus promised is the Holy Spirit,the eternal Spirit of the Living God, not

the angel Jibra'il.

Later I experienced the power of the HolySpirit in my own life. Through Him I cameto Christ. Glory to God! Amen!

I continued to read the Holy Bible withcare and attention. In it I found treasuresuch as I had never dreamed of - it has thepower to speak to those who really want tofind God's revelation and guidance. Itshowed me my real self, my sinful and

guilty heart, and showed me also that I wasspiritually blind. It asked me to bring allmy sins and problems to God in the nameof Jesus the Messiah. He came to thisworld searching for me! He died for mysins and rose again; He went up to heaven,and He will come again. I becameconvinced that the Holy Bible is indeedthe Word of God.

The Holy Bible brought the answers to the

problems which worried me. Its livingword was able to satisfy my soul. What Ihad never found before in my religiousexperience, I now discovered. I becamesure that the Holy Bible faithfully andaccurately recorded the works andteaching of Jesus - this mystery of God'seternal Word coming into our world asman. Now I became convinced of the truthof His death, resurrection, ascension andsecond coming, which before I had not

understood and had even hated. The Biblecontains the message of God's power tosave and His love for me and all men, andthis brings us peace. This love of Godfocuses sharply on Jesus, His death andresurrection for sinners - as Paul, echoingJesus and His other apostles, says in theNew Testament, "For what I received Ipassed on to you as of first importance:that Christ died for our sins according tothe Scriptures, that He was buried, that He

was raised on the third day according tothe Scriptures" 1 Corinthians 15:3,4.

No doubt, many Muslim friends willcontinue to think that the Holy Bible iscorrupt and abrogated by the Qur'an. Yetlet him - especially if he is conscious of God's holiness and his own sins - giveserious thought to its message. Then lethim, as I have done, draw his ownconclusions.

8. A GREAT DECISION

On July 19, 1970, I surrendered to Jesusthe Messiah. I confessed all my sins andmy doubts, and by baptism I was joined toHim and His forgiving love. My wholebody trembled. I could feel divine powerentering into me. I rose from my knees achanged man with peace in my soul, joy in








my heart, and assurance in my mind. And

today I still have that same joy, hope andassurance. Although I could not explain it,in my heart I believed that all my sins werewashed away through the precious bloodof Jesus Christ, that I had received powerfor a new life of love, and that the LordJesus Himself was reigning in my heart.

9. IN HIS SERVICE

Soon the opportunity came to work with a

group called Operation Mobilization. Thisgave me a chance to go to different partsof India to tell the Good News. I continuedto do this for about two years. During thattime I learned more about what it means tobe a follower of Jesus. I am grateful to theLord and to my friends in OperationMobilization who gave me the opportunityto work with them. They helped me duringdifficult times. Later I went back toConcordia Theological Seminary andcompleted my theological studies in 1975.

My present concern is to bring the GoodNews of God's light to my own peoplewherever they are, especially in my ownarea. May they accept the invitation of Jesus Christ which He gives to all to knowthe great Salvation of God.

I am the way, the truth and the life. No onecomes to the Father except through Me. John14:6.

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you,the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom youhave sent. John 17:3.

I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Mewill never walk in darkness, but will have thelight of life. John 8:12.

10. CONCLUSIONI have accepted Jesus Christ as my ownSaviour. He has been able to change mylife to a life of real happiness, peace andhope. He has been able to give me strengthin my weakness. As the living Lord, Hecomes into my life to give it new purpose,and promises me life in heaven that willnever end. I know that I belong to God'sheavenly family. I believe what David, thegreat prophet and king, said, "Though my

father and mother forsake me, the Lordwill receive me" Psalm 27:10.

In all my troubles, doubts and temptationsit is enough to look into His face. In timeswhen I have been lonely, tired anddisappointed, I have praised Him for Hisgrace.

Jesus said: "You did not choose me, but Ichose you to go and bear fruit - fruit thatwill last. Then the Father will give you

whatever you ask in My name." John15:16

I did not choose Him, but He chose me.Through Him the story of Pak has becomethe story of Alavi. To God be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

10.1. Quiz

Dear reader, if you have read this bookletcarefully, you will be able to answer thefollowing questions easily. If you answerat least ten questions correctly, we willenroll you in our correspondence course.

1. After K.K. Alavi had read "The Heartof Pak", what prompted him to learnmore about Isa (Jesus) through the helpof a correspondence course?

2. In his study of the Qur'an and the






in search of assurance - by k.k. alavi

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