in insider's guide to becoming a home impacting pro

HOMEIMPACTINGTHE INSIDER’S GUIDE TO BECOMING A

PRO

BRIAN CARLSON

Reaching the Lost by Reaching

the Home

HOMEIMPACTINGTHE INSIDER’S GUIDE TO BECOMING A

PRO

BRIAN CARLSON

THE INSIDER’S GUIDE TO BECOMING A HOME IMPACTING PRO© 2010 by Brian Carlson. All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical,photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed review, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture references are from The Holy Bible: New International Version® , NIV® . Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. All rights reserved.

Cover and interior design by Brian Carlson

To Beka, for putting up with me all these years, and for having such a heart to pass on a

relationship with Jesus to our children.

Table of Contents

FOUNDATION

the hom

e is the

over-

looked

key to

revivalPg. 8

FRAMINGhow to build the back

door to any home (even non-Christian ones!)

Pg. 24

ESSENTIAL SYSTEMS

creating a system for authentic connection

in homes

Pg. 42PAINT & TRIM

painting vision that draws homes into transformation

Pg. 54

STAGE 1

STAGE 2

STAGE 3

STAGE 4

PRE-CONSTRUCTIONIntroduction

Pg. 6

POST-CONSTRUCTIONBeyond Mediocrity Pg. 68

6

IntroductionThis brief book is the combination of two great passions: First, my passion to see lives transformed through Jesus Christ. Second, my passion for the home as the ultimate system to experience that life transformation. These two passions have been lived out in my own experience as a pastor for the past 17 years and now in my current role leading The Year of Evangelism project for Colorado Christian University.

In the age of iGeneration and on-demand lifestyles, the individual reigns supreme. As a result, most ministry efforts target the felt needs of individuals as the gateway to salvation in Jesus Christ. Individuals find Christ but then often return to extremely dysfunctional homes. Our methodology focuses on transforming individuals rather than transforming the broken system in which they live.

Much of the principles and ideas shared in these pages flow from my experience as a youth-ministries pastor at Woodmen Valley Chapel, a church of 7,500 members in Colorado Springs. My hope is that the strategies and ideas shared will challenge those with a heart to impact lives to evaluate current strategies for reaching the lost. Our target will no longer be to merely reach people with the Gospel; instead, our goal elevates to transform entire homes through the wonder and grace of Jesus Christ.

The Insider’s Guide to Becoming a Home-Impacting Pro will focus on changing the lens through which we look at ministry and evangelism. To do this we will journey through stages by which a home is built. We

will walk through the four construction stages as a strategic picture, conveying principles of reaching the lost through reaching the home.

• Stage 1—Foundation.

• Stage 2—Framing.

• Stage 3—Essential Systems.

• Stage 4—Paint and Trim.

This book is intended to be descriptive, not prescriptive. Thus, it describes ideas and principles that effectively reach people with the Gospel through the home. It is not intended to prescribe exactly what to do. Instead, my hope is that principles behind these ideas and strategies will be abstracted, adapted to fit your unique ministry context, and applied to affect life transformation in your unique environment.

FOUNDATIONThe Home is the Overlooked Key to Revival

Stage 1

8

The foundation is key to any building structure. Foundations provide the base upon which any

home is built. When the foundation is true, the home is secure. A poor foundation leads to structural

nightmares.

To see the home as key to revival is a foundational understanding potentially impacting everything we

do. It may change strategies. It may redirect programs. It might even change the lens through which we view

evangelism.

9

Once I mention home-based ministry I immediately turn off half of you. Home-based ministry conjures up images of a dad in suit, a tired worn-out mom, nine kids wearing thick glasses, and a white conversion van with 11 ixthus stickers on the back in descending sizes. In effective, cutting-edge ministries the home seems as relevant as over-head projectors.

After all, the home lies in ruin. We live in an age when half of all marriages end in divorce. Children often spend Christmas pulled between multiple parents’ homes. Teenagers spend the week at one parent’s house, the weekend at another’s, and two weeks with their dad and step mom in the summer. What value could a home-based outreach strategy have in post-modern America?

A few years ago I was a part of the Strong Families National Innovation Alliance. This was a group of 15 leading churches from around the country who came together for a two-year project to develop family-based models of ministry.

During our fi rst meeting a turning point came in a dis-cussion on language and how words matter in ministry. The terminology we use has great bearing on our ability to effectively communicate vision. The turning point of that meeting came when we discussed the word “fam-ily.“

10

Family is a tough concept to relate to in the new millen-nium. The idea of family has disintegrated beyond the experiences many in older generations remember. Most have never known family life outside of brokenness. The term “family” equates to the painful heart exercise of complicated family trees full of removed and grafted branches.

The key moment in the discussion arrived when we realized the great difference between the terms “family” and “home.” Tim McDonald, the former executive pas-tor from Woodmen Valley Chapel, summed it up best: “Not everyone knows who their family is, but everyone

has a place they call home.”

Actress Jennifer Aniston emphasizes the confu-sion. Recently Anis-ton fi red back at Fox News commentator Bill

O’Reilly after he criticized lessons her character in the movie Switch t eaches young girls. In the movie Aniston plays a woman who decides to take on life as a single mother through artifi cial insemination.

I happen to agree with O’Reilly’s comments that “she’s throwing a message out to 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds that, ‘Hey, you don’t need a guy. You don’t need a dad.’ That is destructive to our society.” I believe that God’s design for the home is ultimately experienced when kids are raised in families in which a father loves his wife as Christ loved the church. This is a home in which kids grow up seeing their dad willing to lay down his life for their mom.

Not everyone knows who their family is, but everyone has a place

they call home.

11

Regardless of how people feel about lessons from the movie Switch, or even O’Reilly’s comments, it is An-iston’s response to his criticism that captures how culture’s understanding of “family” and “home” gets messy. Listen to the interview with George Stepha-nopoulos on ABC’s Good Morning America1:

STEPHANOPOULOS: “But usually you don’t re-spond to this kind of thing, why did you decide to respond?”

ANISTON: “I just felt it was...it needed, it was beg-ging for a response. It was just an unfair statement that he made against me. And you know people say things about me all the time and you just kinda go ‘oh whatever.’ But his was not just about me, it was also saying something, insulting women that are out there doing this on there own. I was raised, my mother was single. You know? I mean it doesn’t al-ways start off that way but sort of life, it happens.”

STEPHANOPOULOS: “And you’re right, the movie is a celebration of family.”

ANISTON: “It is! It’s family…home is where the heart is!”

Family is complicated in the early 21st century. Imagine if the child from Switch drew a family tree for his first-grade class. He’d have his mother on one branch, but would not know whose name to write on his father’s branch. His grandparents would be fuzzier with one or two sets of grandparents from his mom (although there could be more or fewer grandparents if his mother came from a single-parent home). Ultimately, would he ever 1 Aniston’s interview on Good Morning America, August 19, 2010.

12

know that his biological father was actually a donor at a fertility lab? How would he draw that on his family tree?

Perhaps Stephanopoulos is right in calling the movie Switch “...a celebration of family.” It is a celebration of family, in an era of overwhelming complication.

In the midst of potential confusion, Aniston brings simple clarity. She identifi es the source of home, “...home is where the heart is.” This quaint old phrase rings truth in post-modern culture. Home is where the heart is. After the child from Switch completes his fam-ily tree drawing, ask him who his family is. His answer would likely be messy. Then ask him where home is? This same boy would have no problem with this an-swer because his heart clearly is found with one person. Home is wherever his mom is. Not everyone knows who their family is, but everyone has a place they call home.

Home is more than where our heart is found. “Home” is the primary system in which we live out life. That system is the primary shaper of character, be-lief, values, desires, and dreams. The dynamics of that system affect every aspect of our lives.

If that system is broken, the effects can have a detri-mental outcome on every relationship we engage in throughout a lifetime. Conversely, a system built upon biblical principles is a precious gift that infuses every aspect of life.

Regardless of individual decisions or beliefs, an individ-

Home is the primary system in which we live

out life.

13

Non-Christian

KelseyNon-Christian

OlderBrother

KelseyNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-Christian

Non-ChristianYoungerBrother

Non-Christian Single-Parent

Mom

Non-Christian

Non-ChristianOlder Brother Non-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-Christian Non-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-Christian

Kselsey’s Family SystemNon-Christian, single-parent home with unique relational

dynamics, moral structure, rules, and policies.

New BelieverKelsey

Kelsey Finds JesusKelsey accepts Jesus as her Savior at a middle-school youth-ministry event.

ual lives within a home system. The mistake of target-ing ministry exclusively toward individuals is failing to anticipate the dramatic effect that home systems have upon the individual.

For example, take a typical fi rst-time visitor to a middle-school student ministry. She is invited to an event by a friend. She attends and has the time of her life. The youth pastor shares a biblical message that God uses to draw her in. The night ends with an alter call. She goes forward to accept Jesus as Lord.

Let me stop here and say, that girl is saved. She has en-countered Jesus Christ and in that moment she is trans-formed. However, when that girl goes home that night, she returns to the established system of a non-Christian home. She is a changed individual whose heart transfor-mation changes the dynamics of the family system. Her decision to follow Jesus not only change her life, but changes the system she calls home.

In the idealism of pastors, this girl’s impact on her fam-ily will lead to mom, dad, brothers, sisters, Uncle Fred,

14

Great Aunt Ruth, and three long-lost relatives fi nding Jesus for themselves. This does happen, and I don’t un-derestimate the infl uence a new believer has upon their home. However, most churches do not provide support for such a situation.

More commonly, the girl returns to her non-Christian home and struggles for years in a broken system, lead-ing to a constant battle between her fl esh and her new life in Christ. Many in this situation never discover a thriving relationship with Jesus. Too many, as Jesus described in Matthew 13, end up “like seed thrown on rocky ground.” They receive Jesus with joy, but as trouble or persecution at home comes they “quickly fall away.”

Systems thinking is the process of understanding how parts infl uence one another within a whole. In nature we fi nd ecosystems. Every element of that ecosystem, including organisms, atmosphere, and climate, work together to thrive, survive, or die.

Human organizations are systems made up of people, structures, and policies. A home is an organizational

New BelieverKelsey

Non-ChristianOlder

Brother

Non-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-Christian


BelieverNon-Christian Single-Parent

Mom

Non-Christian

Non-ChristianOlder Brother Non-ChristianNon-Christian Non-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-Christian

Kelsey Returns to Her Home SystemKelsey has been transformed, but she returns to the same system. Because

she has changed, relational and system dynamics have changed. Yet because the middle-school ministry targeted her only as an individual, she returns to her home system

unsupported as the only believer in a non-Christian system.

15

system with a unique set of people, living in a unique structure, with unique policies and rules. Systems think-ing approaches problems in organizations, such as a home, as part of an overall system.

A systems problem ministries must address is indi-viduals fi nding Christ and returning to non-Christian homes. Ministries focusing on the individual’s personal journey, then returning such new believers unsupport-ed to home systems hostile to Christ, is not only foolish but also antithetical to producing fully devoted follow-ers of Jesus.

A parallel systems problem ministries must address is the mass exodus of teenagers from the church once they become adults. Of those from the church during their high-school years, around seven out of ten exit the church upon gradu-ation.2 That is a systems problem resulting from age-based strategies focusing upon individuals rather than upon the systems in which those individuals live.

At the root, these system issues are the result of minis-try strategies prioritizing individuals over the primary system in which the individual lives. The children’s director is pleased as long as 82 children receive Jesus at VBS. The youth pastor shines while leading an exciting student ministry with hundreds of teenagers showing

2 www.lifeway.com/lwc/article_main_page/0,1703,A=165949&M=200%20906,00.html

Systems thinking is the process of understanding how parts influence one another within a whole.

16

up Wednesday nights. The women’s director is on top of her game with the overfl ow rooms needing to be set up for the Beth Moore Bible study Tuesday mornings. The men’s pastor is doing handstands over the 300 men showing up for the Saturday-morning men’s break-fast. The senior pastor is thrilled that everyone on staff seems to be thriving in their jobs. The yearly reviews are an out-of-body experience, attendance is up, and giving is through the roof!

One problem: the above described church is “thriving” at ministry targeting age-specifi c individuals without

strategies designed to impact primary systems people actually live in. Are they truly ac-complishing their mission statement that deals with transforming lives? Or are they accom-plishing the unspo-

ken North American mission statement of “bank and butts”(the more money in your budget, and the more people showing up on weekends, the more successful your ministry).

The church has never had so many resources at its disposal. The facilities, staff, teaching, worship, and creativity work together to prepare an amazing sym-phony of programs and worship experiences that grab the heart of every believer and never let go. Yet, despite these cutting-edge ministries:

The church is thriving at ministry targeting age-

specific individuals without strategies designed to impact primary systems

people actually live in.

17

• A “Christian marriage” is just as likely as a “non-Christian marriage” to end in divorce.3

• A “Christian” teenager is more likely than a “non-Christian” teenager to cheat on a test at school.4

• 2.8 million+ children enroll in VBS each year with over 88,000 making professions of faith, yet churches do not see a major influx of new families in the fol-lowing year.5

• Youth ministries are full of new believers who find Christ through the youth ministry but exit the church upon graduation from high school.6

The effectiveness of our ministries is not measured by “bank and butts.” Rather, the effectiveness of our min-istries is determined by what occurs where a majority of life is lived—at home. The success of our ministries is not determined by the size of our children’s wing or the sound system in our youth center. Rather, the success of our ministry is determined 20 and 30 years down the road:

• Do they grow into godly husbands and wives?

• Are they parents who raise their kids to follow after the heart of God?

A different metric is needed. One that doesn’t measure via “bank and butts”; rather, it targets the ability of a ministry to influence not merely the individual, but also 3 www.barna.org/barna-update/article/15-familykids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released4 www.youthandreligion.org/publications/docs/PortraitsProtTeens.pdf5 As shared by Danny Kirkpatrick in his presentation How to Lead Children to Christ 6 www.lifeway.com/lwc/article_main_page/0%2C1703%2CA%25253D165949% 252526M%25253D200906%2C00.html?

18

the systems in which individuals live.

Imagine different lenses for evangelism. What could happen if we changed our sights? Instead of developing strategies to impact age-specific individuals, what if we targeted the home system? What if a youth pastor’s ul-timate goal was not to reach the teenager for Christ, but to reach the parents behind that teenager? What could happen if every ministry in a church stopped function-ing according to the silos of age-specific strategy, but rather developed an over arching strategy to work to-gether toward transforming entire home systems?

Let’s take our earlier situation with Kelsey. Remember, she’s a typical first-time visitor to a middle-school stu-dent ministry. She was invited to an event by a friend where she ended up going forward to accept Jesus as her Savior. Remember, she is a changed individual whose heart transformation potentially changes the dynamics of her family system. Her decision to follow Jesus not only changes her life, but also the system of her home.

What if the senior pastor, youth pastor, and the church they work in anticipated this dynamic? For this youth pastor, his strategy was not to merely reach Kelsey, but ultimately to reach Kelsey’s entire family. This youth pastor worked together with the men’s and women’s directors to develop a tool to connect the parents of non-Christian teenagers who accept Jesus. Suddenly, that student is not merely sent back as a lone Christian into a non-Christian home system. Instead, they send Kelsey back into her home system with a tool designed to engage her mother with a journey toward Jesus.

19

The above is a simple strategy that could be imple-mented by any church. An audio CD is easy to produce on any Mac or PC. The CDs cost $1 or less to produce. Yet the potential value of impacting not just Kelsey, but also her mother is immeasurable. Every youth pastor hopes their students will infl uence their families toward Christ. Kelsey’s church has a strategy to see it happen.

New BelieverKelsey

New New BelieverKelsey

Kelsey Finds JesusThe youth pastor equips Kelsey with a CD for her mom. The CD is called, “My Kid Went to Some Church and Found Jesus,

Now What?” The CD is a podcast-style audio CD featuring the youth pastor, men’s pastor, and women’s director explaining the basics of Christianity and what it means that their teenager accepted Jesus. The CD ends with

the men’s pastor and women’s director inviting parents to call or e-mail them with questions or concerns. Later that week, the women’s director

will call Kelsey’s mom and ask her if she has any questions and invite her to the Beth Moore Bible study (if a father was involved, the men’s pastor would call and invite him to a men’s breakfast).

New BelieverKelsey

Non-ChristianOlder

Brother



Mom

Non-ChristianOlder Brother Non-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-Christian

New New BelieverKelseyKelseyKelsey

Non-ChristianOlder

Brother


Brother


MomSingle-Parent

MomSingle-Parent

Non-Christian

Kelsey Introduces Christ into Family SystemShe is still reentering her non-Christian family system.

But by giving the CD to her mom, her mother is introduced to the reasons behind her transformation.

New Christian Single-Parent

Mom

Kelsey’s Mom Finds JesusIn a phone conversation with the women’s director, Kelsey’s mom

breaks down in tears. She ends up scheduling a counseling meeting

where she fi nds Jesus as her Savior.

20

The power of the strategy is evident. First, it forces Kelsey to share with her mother that she made a deci-sion for Christ. Second, it allows Kelsey’s mother to process the decision Kelsey made. Third, Kelsey’s moth-

er has the opportunity to hear the Gospel (pos-sibly for the fi rst time in her life). Finally, Kelsey’s mother has the opportu-nity for personal contact from the pastoral staff of the church, which leads to her fi nding Christ for herself.

Suddenly, Kelsey is not a lone Christian in a non-Chris-tian home system. Instead, there are two believers in the home. All the dynamics are changing. This brings a whole new reality to Matthew 18:20: “For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.”

Why stop with two? A ministry that embraces systems thinking is able to develop strategies to equip the moth-er and daughter to reach the two older brothers, the younger brother, and so on. The entrenched patterns of family generations can be transformed in homes intro-duced to the Gospel.

The alternative is to continue the entrenched pattern of ministry strategies focusing on one individual at a time. Unless we address the transformation of lives from a systems perspective, we will continue to see discour-aging results. Without home systems experiencing the transforming power of Jesus Christ, we will continue to see individuals within such systems become dishearten-

New BelieverKelsey

Non-ChristianOlder

Brother



Mom

Non-ChristianOlder Brother Non-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-ChristianNon-Christian

New New BelieverKelseyKelseyKelsey

Non-ChristianOlder

Brother


Brother


MomSingle-Parent

MomSingle-Parent

Non-Christian

21

ing statistics.

It’s been decades, if not a century, since the last great revival. Most of us long to see genuine spiritual renewal take hold of hurting people in this country. Family life in the 21st century, is a brittle, complicated disaster. Yet, when we are weak, He is made strong. Perhaps we are at the crossroads of seeing God use the home to bring revival.

Reggie Joiner, author and former Family Ministries Director at Northpoint Church in Atlanta, has a brilliant illustration for the power of the home. In speaking at The Orange Confer-ence7 Reggie brought out a basket full of 30 ping-pong balls. He declared, “The average church has about 30 hours of direct infl uence on a child each year.” The ministry strategy of most churches is to make those 30 hours the best they possibly can be. After all, if we have the kids for 30 hours, we want to make sure those hours impact them in powerful ways.

Then Reggie brought out baskets full of 3,000 ping-pong balls. He said, “The average parent has 3,000 hours of direct infl uence on a child each year.” Reggie was speaking directly to the home system that kids live in. Reggie went on, “What we need to do is to use our 30 7 Reggie Joiner, Th ink Orange (Colorado Springs, CO: David C. Cook, 2009), 85.

Without home systems experiencing the

transforming power of Jesus Christ, we will continue to see

individuals within such systems become

disheartening statistics.

22

hours to infl uence the 3,000 hours.”

Reggie could not have said it better. 30 hours of infl u-ence in a child’s or teenager’s life are a doorway into the system dominating the home that child lives in. This is more than an opportunity to equip parents in parenting skills, or to have a powerful children’s or student minis-try. This is an opportunity to leverage the home system as the foundation for evangelism and discipleship. We have the opportunity to unite various departments of the church in a master plan to reach homes rather than individuals.

The home truly is the overlooked key to revival. This foundational truth potentially affects every aspect of ministry. Some are reading this and experiencing a

slight panic attack over any thought of trans-forming every aspect of ministry. Ministries tend to be complex sys-tems made up of pro-grams, traditions, dog-matic ownership, and politics—none of which are changed easily.

Please hear me: The foundational understanding that the home is key does not necessarily mean fundamentally transforming every program and department in the church. Instead, this understanding can be subtle. It is challenging ministry leaders to take a hard look at their current strategies, programs, and resources and asking the simple ques-tion, “How this be used to reach home systems for

It is a philosophical underpinning that the home is the primary

system in which people live, and ministries

have a unique ability to influence that system.

23

Christ?”

It isn’t taking a wrecking ball to the church; instead, it is changing the lens through which we view ministry. It is a philosophical underpinning that the home is the pri-mary system in which people live, and ministries have a unique ability to influence that system. We are stew-ards of this influence.

FRAMINGHow to Build the Back Door to Any Home

(Even the Non-Christian Ones!)

Stage 2

This is when your house starts looking like a house. During this phase, all of the home’s interior and exterior

walls and the stairs are framed.

The foundation of seeing the home as key to evangelism has been poured. Now it’s time to build a frame on top of that foundation. To impact that home we’re going to

focus on framing a “back door.” Why the back door? The front door is where guests enter, the back door is where the kids run into the house. Here we’ll discover

three secrets that reveal why the back door is a powerful entryway into reaching any home system.

24

25

I’m about to reveal lost secrets that could revolutionize the way you approach ministry. The church has blinded itself to these secrets, as seen in programs and strategies that ignore their implications. Despite their neglected reality in modern ministry, the truth of these secrets rings ever true. Here they are...

Secret #1: Children and teenagers crave signifi cant rela-tionship with their parents.

Secret #2: Parents crave signifi cant relationship with their children and teenagers.

Right now you’re tempted to throw away or delete the copy of this book in unimpressed reaction to the awe-inspiring obviousness just stated. Of course kids crave relationship with their parents. Of course parents crave signifi cance with their children. You might even agree that, deep down, teenagers crave a relationship with their parents. The problem is people in our culture have lost the art of healthy relationships within home sys-tems.

Parents are desperate to connect with their children and teenagers. Our culture is full of parents who have spent a lifetime substituting superfi cial over-activity with their children for genuine authentic relationship. The kids feel it, too. As they grow into teenage years, resent-ment grows knowing something is missing. The desper-

26

ation can be thick and has led many mothers (father and teenagers, too) to tears.

As a culture we have so embraced this dynamic that we have labelled it “teenage rebellion” and consider it a natural and passing phase. But does it have to be this way? Does there have to be a growing gap that begins with childhood and ends upon graduation into adult-hood? Or have homes embraced relational crisis be-cause they have lost the art of connecting in signifi cant

ways?

I’m about to do something I must apologize in ad-vance for. I’m go-ing to quote Rahm Emanuel. Honestly, I never thought I

would quote President Obama’s original chief of staff, but in this case what he said contained a kernel of wis-dom (right now my liberal father is doing handstands). Emanuel caused great controversy in his comments to The Wall Street Journal about the fi nancial crisis facing the nation. In the interview Emanual stated, “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste, and what I mean by that is an opportunity to do things that you didn’t think you could do before.”8

The statement set off a fi re storm in Washington. In the midst of what many call the greatest fi nancial cri-sis since the Great Depression, Emanual was revealing that he saw the suffering of the American people and companies as a political opportunity to implement an 8 Th e Wall Street Journal video CEO Counsel, November 19, 2008

Have homes embraced relational crisis because

they have lost the art of connecting in significant ways?

27

agenda.

While I cannot support politicians who use suffering and crisis to gain power, there is wisdom in Emanuel’s statement. If political agendas are stripped away, and Emanuel’s words are taken in the context of personal growth, then we fi nd helpful application.

At some point, everyone faces serious crisis. It may be a work crisis, emotional crisis, relational crisis, or home crisis. In the wisdom of Scripture we learn that God allows crisis in our lives because it is His primary tool to shape our hearts. This bib-lical principle is summarized in James 1:2-3: “Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perse-verance.”

In other words, “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste.” Okay, I know I’m stretching it a bit, but hear me out. In life, we face trials and crises that test our faith. As followers of Christ we have a choice: to avoid crises with all our strength or to embrace crises with all our heart. Instead of wasting the struggle of a crisis we can allow God to use that trial to shape us and mold us to build perseverance so that we “...may be perfect and complete, not lacking anything.”9

The home faces crisis like never before. The church has the potential to embrace this crisis as a gateway into the heart of every home in America. Listen to the rest of Rahm Emanuel’s statement on embracing crisis, “...it

9 James 1:4

You never want a serious crisis to

go to waste...

28

is an opportunity to do things that you didn’t think you could do before.”10

The home is the overlooked key to revival. For years the church has been trying to reach the lost with the Good News of Jesus. We’ve prayed for revival, yet our cul-ture only deteriorates. Perhaps the crisis facing homes is an opening to do things we didn’t think we could do

before. In the face of the most serious family crisis in our history, perhaps we stand at the great-est opportunity to impact our culture with the wonder of the Gospel.

How can the church embrace this open-

ing? What I would suggest is that as ministries we em-brace the chance to not let the serious relational crises facing homes go to waste. Seizing this opportunity is a third secret:

Secret #3: When the church builds bridges between chil-dren or teenagers and their parents, it opens the door for the Gospel to transform home systems.

Remember secrets 1 and 2, both parents and their chil-dren and teenagers are desperate for signifi cant rela-tionship with each other. We hold a resource no other organization or program offers: the transforming power of Jesus Christ. 10 Th e Wall Street Journal video CEO Counsel, November 19, 2008

In the face of the greatest family crisis in our history, perhaps we stand at the greatest

opportunity to impact our culture with the wonder

of the Gospel.

29

Do not check out at this point with the excuse, “Not everyone in my ministry belongs to a home. Our church is full of single professional adults.” Obviously, the principles of this chapter are most applicable to homes with children and teenagers. However, do not make the mistake of underestimating their application to single adults, DINKS (Dual Income, No Kids), or people of retirement age.

My good friend Kurt Bruner, best-selling author and Pastor of Spiritual Formation at Lake Pointe Church, performed a significant study analyzing the demo-graphics of his 15,000-member church. Kurt and his team gathered demographics through questions de-signed to discover the various structures of the homes and people making up their congregation.

What they found is that the vast majority of their con-gregation found itself currently part of homes with more than one person living with them. Of those who were single, most had children or hoped to have chil-dren someday, while a majority desired to be married at some point.

Kurt and his team made the safe conclusion that over 90 percent of their congregation of 15,000 people would currently be affected by ministry designed to impact the home, and the bulk of the remaining 10 percent would find relevance in the opportunity to prepare for their eventual goal of marriage or children.11

These are demographic results of one church. The de-mographics and dreams of churches and congregations 11 These statistics shared in a presentation by Kurt Bruner as a part of Lake Pointe Church’s Spiritual Formation at Home Strategic Initiative, 2007.

30

vary as much as Colorado weather (we say “if you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes”). However, I would challenge anyone serious about impacting the Kingdom and fi nding signifi cant doorways into the lives of unbe-lievers to perform a similar demographic study in your ministry.

If your church is full of single adults, ask them how many plan on mar-riage. If your church is full of DINKs, fi nd out how many dream of one day having kids. If your church is full of

retired people, ask them how many desire to infl uence their grandchildren. What a study will reveal is the relevance and desire most people have to rediscover the art of signifi cant relationships at home.

The church is uniquely situated to become a bridge-building agent in home systems. The fragmented rela-tionships in the home lead to the members of that sys-tem craving signifi cance. They feel something is lacking. That felt missing piece in their relationship is the power of the Gospel. This great felt need and desire to connect with each other in relationship is a wide-open doorway into home systems that we must embrace.

Before I move on I want to pause and point out that this gap can be felt in Christian and non-Christian homes. In non-Christian homes it is felt because the members of the home have not found Jesus. In Christian homes the

The church is uniquely situated to become a

bridge-building agent in home systems.

31

gap results when members of the home system are not applying the power made available to them by Christ’s cross to their relational interactions.

So how do we do it? How do use the relational crises in homes to open the door into non-Christian homes?

Most of our strategies focus on the front door into homes. Front-door strategies are those that focus on reaching adults. Take a look at the budget and resources of a typical church: You will find that the majority of resources are designated towards ministries that tar-get adults. For most churches, success rises and falls upon the weekend service. Why do we pour most of the resources into ministries geared toward adults? Again, I refer back to the unspoken North American mission statement of “bank and butts”(the more money in your budget, and the more people showing up every week-end, the more successful your ministry).

Adult ministries are important and I’m all for quality weekend services with engaging worship and teach-ing. In fact, one of the most significant things Christian parents can do to build their children into a lifelong followers of Christ is to attend weekend services with them. A primary reason many students leave the church upon graduation is that they go off to college and have no idea how to be fed from a weekend service (how could they? They’ve only attended youth and children’s services for the past 18 years).

However, targeting adults to impact home systems with the Gospel is an ineffective strategy. First of all, a major-ity of studies show that the vast majority of Christians

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find Christ before the age of 18.12 But there’s a bigger reason front-door strategies are ineffective. Simply put, teenagers and children don’t like to get dragged into anything. Unless the children are very young, it is ex-tremely difficult to start with the parent.

Take a typical non-Christian dad who gets ex-cited about going to church. He and his wife are concerned about their 15-year-old son Jake, who never seems to leave his room and is always play-ing games with friends online. Dad hears about a church with a great service and a cutting-edge band in their youth ministry. Mom and dad get up Sunday morning and get ready to go, except Jake refuses to come out of his room. He has no desire to waste a perfectly good Sunday morning of sleeping in. Finally, dad drags the son out of bed by threat-ening to take away his computer. The fight on the way to church reveals the son has no intention of engaging in anything having to do with God.

Mom and dad drop Jake off under his full protest. He sits in the last row in the youth service with arms folded and mind crossed. Jake sleeps through the service and at the end is woken up by a volun-teer. He returns to the car to meet his parents. The scowl on the 15-year-old’s face reveals they had bet-ter not drag him anywhere again.

Okay, this is a pretty extreme example, but I use it to emphasize a point. Imagine the power of this story if the situation were reversed, where instead of the dad dragging the kid to church we find the kid dragging the parent to church. 12 www.barna.org/barna-update/article/5-barna-update/196-evangelism-is-most-effective-among-kids

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Strategies that focus on targeting kids and teenagers to impact homes are back-door strategies. Why do I call it the “back door?” The front door is more formal. It’s where guests enter the home. But the back door is where teenagers and kids run into a home (easiest ac-cess to the food!).

Take the same non-Christian 15-year-old with parents concerned over their video-game hermit. One of Jake’s online buddies is a kid from school who invites him to a video-game tournament at his church. Jake is excited to go because he hears they’ll have over 20 PS3s hooked up to HD projectors.

Jake goes with his friend and has the time of his life. At the end of the night, his friend gets up in front of the entire group and shares his story. His friend’s story really pulls on Jake’s heart because it is so similar to his own. When his friend describes the difference Jesus has made in his life, something in Jake snaps. He suddenly realizes his hunger to know Jesus. His friend leads a prayer at the end and Jake gives his life to Jesus.

Fortunately, the youth pastor has a plan to not merely reach Jake, but also reach his home. After Jake prays to receive Jesus, his friend gives him a brochure for a class called “Wired.” It is a class on Sunday morning for new believers to discover who God “wired” them to become. The catch is that this is a “no-drop-off” class that takes place during the first hour. That means parents can’t drop off their students, but must attend with them.

Jake comes home and gives the brochure to his dad

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and says, “Dad, on Sunday we’re going to church!” Suddenly, Dad has hope for his video-game-hermit son. What the dad doesn’t know is that the fi rst thing he’ll hear at “wired” is his 15-year-old son sharing his story about how he found Jesus.

Can you anticipate the power of the back door verses the front door. The front door leads to potential resent-ment and tension in relationships. The back door leads to non-Christian parents witnessing the transforming power of God at work in their kids. Here’s a question, what kind of impact will it have on Jake’s dad to hear his son’s story? Imagine if after Jake shares the youth pastor gets up and says, “God changed your kids’ lives. This morning your life can be transformed, too,” and then proceeds to explain the Gospel.

Remember Jennifer Aniston’s words from Chapter 1, “...home is where the heart is.”? Regardless of the

relationship, most parents reserve the deepest place in their hearts for their chil-dren. Their children hold the key to their

hearts, and thus unlock the doorway to their home sys-tem.

Non-Christian parents love their children just like Christian parents. They often desire to see their kids involved in church. In fact, my experience reveals that non-Christian parents love seeing their children in-volved in ministries (church beats smoking dope and being 16 and pregnant).

Non-Christian parents love their children just like Christian parents.

35

They will allow their kids to participate in church activi-ties. However, strategic churches will see this participa-tion as an opportunity. The key to back-door ministry is to not merely offer attractive children and student ministries, but also have an intentional mechanism to equip children and teenagers to engage their parents and homes with the resources of the church.

Principles to Build the Back Door 1. If you bribe kids and teenagers, their parents will

come.

Alright, I apologize again because I’ve just offended half of you (yet again). Yes, I did just suggest bribery as a ministry strategy (thank goodness for the grace of God). Bribery may not be the best word, maybe we should say “reward.” Rewarding kids works. We do it all the time. Schools reward kids for good behavior. We reward kids for good grades. Awana has mastered “bribing” kids to memorize Scripture.

As an example of back-door strategy that “rewards” kids for engaging their parents, let’s take the usually uninspired event of a parent meeting. Typically a par-ent meeting involves a youth pastor sending out e-mails and flyers to parents inviting them to come to a meeting to be updated on what’s happening. Pretty uninspired. Parents come, but it’s usually a core few who are so involved they already knew the information before they stepped through the door. What a waste of an opportu-nity to engage non-Christian homes.

Now, consider the same opportunity using the lenses of strategically opening the back door:

36

Instead of sending letters and e-mails out to par-ents, the youth pastor decides to target the stu-dents (note: probably a good idea to still commu-nicate with parents, but not as a primary target). The youth pastor starts by painting the vision of engaging the home to the students (note: this generation responds to challenge. They embrace it). The youth pastor paints the picture that the ministry is not merely about reaching them as students, but also exists to impact their homes.

Then, the youth pastor announces that next week during normal youth group time students should bring their mom or dad. He explains the upcom-ing meeting with parents is key to impacting their home. On top of that, everyone who brings their mom or dad with them will be entered into a drawing to win a “Dream-Car Pick-Up. If their name is chosen, they’ll be picked up from school with three friends in a brand-new Corvette (and a convertible Mustang) to be taken by the youth staff to Red Robin for Mud Pie ice cream desert.

Imagine the attendance at this parent meeting. When I was a youth pastor at Woodmen Valley Chapel in Colorado Springs, we used “Dream Car Pick-Up” all the time. We found people in our community with nice cars and invited them to help us “reward”...um...I mean...”bribe” kids. Some of my best memo-ries from Woodmen were seeing the looks on kids’ faces when we pulled up at school to pick them up with three friends. They were kings of the school for the day.

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Check out the differing results between the front and back doors:

Notice that both the front door and the back door draw the committed. However, the back door draws the committed and the crowd. The back door under-stands that students will drag their parents to any-thing if a proper reward is involved.

2. Grab parents’ hearts with the reality facing homes.

Getting parents through the door is one thing; engag-ing their hearts in the deep matters of life is another. We are stewards of the infl uence God entrusts us with. If a non-Christian, disengaged parent attends a meeting because their child invited them, we are stewards of that opportunity to impact their heart. We must make that most of that open door to grab the heart of that parent with the reality of the Gospel rather than merely downloading information about the next big event.

Take the above example of a parent meeting. Envi-sion the chance the youth pastor has to engage the hearts of non-Christians.

Primary Target = Parents. Communication (e-mail, mailing, phone, etc...) to invite parents to come to parent event.

Typical Results: • Poor attendance• Draws only

the already committed

Primary Target = StudentsFind enticing hooks to “bribe” students to drag parents to parent event that occurs during normal student program.

Typical Results: • Huge

attendance. • Draws the

committed and the fringe

Front Door Back Door

TargetParents

Primary Target = Parents.Primary Target = Parents.Primary

Communication Target = Parents.Communication Target = Parents.

(e-mail, mailing, phone, etc...) to (e-mail, mailing, phone, etc...) to (e-mail, mailing,

invite parents phone, etc...) to invite parents phone, etc...) to

Front Door

Target TargetStudents

Target = StudentsFind enticing hooks Target = StudentsFind enticing hooks Target = Students

to “bribe” students Find enticing hooks to “bribe” students Find enticing hooks

to drag parents to parent event that to drag parents to parent event that to drag parents to

occurs during normal parent event that occurs during normal parent event that

Back Door

Target

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Because of the “Dream Car Pick-Up,” the youth room is packed with students sitting next to their parents. The students that forgot are on their cell phones begging their parents to come. At least 20 of the parents have never stepped foot in the youth room before, let alone the church.

For the fi rst half parents get a glimpse into why their son or daughter attends. They get to hear the

student worship band play, take part in a par-ent/teen version of The Newlywed Game, and catch a powerful drama by the drama team.

Then the senior pastor takes the mic and de-scribes the purpose of the night. He lets parents know that this ministry is about so much more than fun and games—

it’s about transforming lives. He describes how so many of these teenagers have had their lives transformed by Jesus through this ministry, but that this church is ultimately interested in also seeing God transform homes.

The youth pastor stands and shares a message highlighting resources the student ministry and church offers homes. He titles his message “Do You Recognize the Three Warning Signs of Drift-ing Away from Your Teenager?” Parents and teens hear the message side by side with specifi c

We nver know the number of non-

Christians attending a meeting or program.

Anytime we have the opportunity to influence someone toward Christ we

must take it.

39

resources and programs the church offers to counteract each “sign.”

Suddenly, a parent meeting has a bigger purpose. Parents and teenagers are exposed to the bigger vi-sion of why the church exists and how the church can impact diffi cult relationships in their homes.

3. Share stories and the Gospel at every meeting.

We never know the number of non-Christians at-tending a meeting or program. Anytime we have the opportunity to infl uence someone toward Christ we must take it. This is why it is important to make a commitment as ministry leaders to share the Gospel at every meeting. Regardless of the topic or passage, fi nd a way at some point to draw it back to the Gos-pel. For a great example of a pastor taking this chal-lenge and doing it in a smooth way, go listen to old Charles Swindol mes-sages. Charles Swindol is a master at ending with the Gospel regardless of the topic he was teaching on.

Let’s take our parent-meeting example. A par-ent meeting is too big of an opportunity to waste on just sharing ministry events. It’s a wide-open door to share the Gospel and transform a home system.

When the youth pastor reaches the third “Warn-ing Sign of Drifting Away,” he invites a core par-ent and teenager up to the stage to be interviewed

Evaluate each program through the lens of “How can we use this

ministry to impact home systems, not just individuals?”

40

by him around a table. The interview gives this parent and teen the opportunity to share their story of the struggles they had in their relation-ship, but how fi nding Jesus helped them not only fi nd salvation, but also to connect together. They share that they still struggle to communicate at times, but also have been meeting once a week to go through a book together and deal with issues.

After they share they leave the stage and the senior pastor stands to describe how Jesus can impact each person and home in the room. He shares the Gospel and gives the opportunity for parents and teenagers to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior together.

This is an example of a church dedicated to trans-forming home systems. This is one example, one strategy, using a parent meeting as an opportunity to build the “back door” of a home to the Gospel.

Framing the back door isn’t limited to student ministry. The key is to always look beyond the obvious target individ-ual to the home system that he or she lives in. Just like in “pouring the foundation,” evaluate

each program, event, and ministry through the lens of “how can we use this ministry to impact home systems, not just individuals?”

Any ministry willing to pursue back-door ministry

Any ministry willing to pursue back-door

ministry will open itself to a new level of impact and influence.

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will open itself to a new level of impact and influence in its community. Such ministries potentially see that people’s walks with God aren’t driven by a church’s weekend service. Instead, people’s relationships with Christ are lived out and driven at home.

ESSENTIAL SYSTEMSCreating a System for

Authentic Connection in Homes

Stage 3

Essential systems make homes function. These systems include electrical, heating and cooling, water, waste management, insulation and fi nally

drywall. As each essential system is installed, they are carefully inspected to ensure smooth performance.

The FOUNDATION of seeing the home as the key to evangelism has been poured... The FRAME of building a back door into homes has been built. Now it’s time to install ESSENTIAL SYSTEMS of the home. Here we’ll equip each home with a simple system to create open, authentic communication that draws the

home system closer to Jesus Christ.

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One morning a man dressed in common clothes puts on a baseball cap and carries a small case into a Washing-ton D.C., subway station. The man fi nds the ideal loca-tion—a great spot near the main entrance to the facility, where thousands of people will pass by on their way to the trains.

Unnoticed, the man bends over and opens his case. From it he pulls an ancient violin and bow. He is a street performer who sets his case open in front of him to collect spare change. He takes time to tune up his instrument and begins to play. The notes fi ll the air in a symphony of sound echoing off the hard walls of the station. No one takes notice.

Hundreds of people pass by on the way to their busy days, failing to notice that this violinist is a man of superior ability. His fi ngers fl y up and down the fi nger-board with amazing dexterity and the skill of a master. No one stops.

The man continues to play. Occasionally, a passing person will drop in a coin or a dollar, but no one stops. With complex technique the notes fi ll the vast room. The man is nothing more than background music to people with far more important things to do with their day than stop and listen to a mere street performer.

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Suddenly, one woman stops. Hundreds pass behind her as she stands in the center of the room soaking in the beauty and wonder of the sounds coming from the instrument. The man continues to play and wrap up the incredible masterpiece. The man finishes his last line of notes and ends on a gentle decrescendo. The woman walks up shyly and says, “I saw you at the Li-brary of Congress. It was fantastic.”

The man is no mere street performer playing for coins. This is Joshua Bell, one of the top-rated violinists walk-ing the planet. In the past year he has played to sold out crowds in vast symphony halls around the world. He regularly plays to standing ovations in places such as Carnegie Hall and with the London Symphony Or-chestra. The “old violin” he was playing is old—it is a $4 million Stradivarius he purchased after selling his $2 million Stradivarius.

Recently at a dinner fund-raiser in Aspen, Colorado, people paid $100 a plate to hear him play. Still, on one ordinary morning people walked right past the experi-ence they would never pass up if they knew it was one of the world’s master musicians performing a free con-cert in a subway station.

As I watched this video for the first time on YouTube,13 I was amazed. The video is edited to play fast-forward so hundreds, if not thousands, of people over a 45-min-ute period of time walk right past the treasure (that is, until the end when one woman recognizes what is hap-pening).

As I watched, I couldn’t help but be convicted. I

13 To view this video go to www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnOPu0_YWhw

45

thought back and wondered how many times I have passed right by a treasure without taking notice. How many times have I not recognized the unmistakable sounds of something special going on? How many times have I been so consumed with myself, my goals, and purposes that I failed to notice the opportunity to experience something I would never forget?

Our culture is walking past a treasure without taking notice. We are so fo-cused on building our careers, global warm-ing, and making it to soccer practice that we fail to seize the oppor-tunity to experience something truly meaningful.

Yet, the church can be that lady recognizing the signifi -cant. We have heard the unmistakable sounds of au-thenticity, that only result from a relationship with God, and we have the ability to wake people up to experience that reality for themselves.

I wonder: Did the woman in the video recognize Joshua Bell’s face, or did she recognize his music? My gut is that, as she passed by on her way to the trains, she was quick to notice the unmistakable sounds of a master musician playing an instrument she loved.

Imagine the woman crying out to the crowd, “Stop and listen to the music! This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance!” Would anyone have stopped?

What if there was a way for the crowd to truly expe-rience the signifi cance? What if, like the woman, the crowd had been to Carnegie Hall the night before and

Our culture is walking past a treasure

without taking notice.

46

listened to Joshua Bell play with the London Symphony Orchestra? What if they had learned what made Joshua Bell a master, or had been learning to play the violin themselves? Then imagine the crowds’ response walk-ing across the subway system hearing and recognizing the notes of the master.

Can we wake up homes in our culture to the treasure they walk past every day? The treasure resides in their deep longings, in the secrets discovered in the FRAM-ING stage:

Secret #1: Children and teenagers crave significant rela-tionship with their parents.

Secret #2: Parents crave significant relationship with their children and teenagers.

The treasure that homes walk past is the resolution of these cravings for significant relationship. The treasure results when parents and their children (even teenagers) authentically connect in a meaningful way. The church holds the untapped ability of launching individuals to experience the treasure of authentic connection in the home. This won’t happen by merely crying out, “Stop and listen to the music!” Instead, we need to create en-vironments in which homes (even non-Christian homes) truly experience this significant treasure for themselves.

It is important to stop and recognize that what I suggest must be built with the initial stages of “construction” described in the first two chapters. The FOUNDATION of seeing the home system as the primary must be un-derstood. The FRAME of using the back door to target kids in order to reach their parents must be implement-ed. The moment when the primary home system has

47

Challenge

Bound

aries

Spark

AuthenticConnection Experience

opened itself to the resources of our ministry is an op-portunity to install in homes an ESSENTIAL SYSTEM to experience the treasure of authentic connection between parent and child (or teenager).

In the relationship between parent and child, an “essen-tial system” implies a basic method for sparking mean-ingful connection. The communication level in homes varies widely. The tendency in most homes is for drift and distance to grow as a child grows older. This drift grows more palatable and painful through the teenage years, resulting in deep, often unspoken, longings for connection. Remember the third secret from the FRAM-ING stage?

Secret #3: When the church builds bridges between chil-dren or teenagers and their parents, it opens the door for the Gospel to transform home systems.

The essential system, I would suggest, is a powerful mix of a challenge and resources given to parents and students to intentionally connect. The system is simply diagramed as:

48

ChallengeBegin by challenging parents and their children to do one intentional thing to connect together in a significant way. Again, challenges thrive by applying “back door” principles shared in the FRAMING stage. If parents are challenged to invite their kids to an intentional activity, the challenge will not work—kids hate being dragged into anything (especially spending time with their par-ents).

However, if a ministry paints the vision to children or teenagers and them to invite their parents to an inten-tional activity, suddenly the challenge packs a punch. Remember, all parents crave significant relationship with their children and most would embrace an invita-tion from their child to engage in something significant.

Boundaries There is great fear in authenticity. To ease fears, equip the parent and the student with boundaries. These are a set of ground rules to keep the conversation heading toward authentic connection.

SparkThe spark is where the challenge and boundaries lead to authentic connection. The spark is simply a tool to prompt conversation. To merely challenge parents and students to connect with some ground rules will not result in deeper conversation. There must be a tool to spark dialogue and interaction. The key to this tool is to find something that will cause spiritual discussion.

49

Our goal is to get parents and students to experience the wonder of authentic connection in their relationships. Here are two ideas designed to build this “essential sys-tem” in homes.

1. The Amazed Race — The Amazed Race is based upon the CBS reality TV show The Amazing Race. Parents and student show up at church Friday night with a car, their luggage, and a tank full of gas. Hand them their first clue, which could say, “Drive to Fun City Mini-Golf. Play any of the four holes to receive your next clue.” They spend the next two days chas-ing clues all over the state having the time of their lives. The first team to the finish line Sunday morn-ing wins a ski vacation for four in Telluride, Colo-rado (an easy prize to get donated for a church based in Colorado).

First of all, imagine how attractive this experience is to non-Christian kids. This puts into practice the back-door principles of the FRAMING stage. Kids drag their parents to this event. But watch how we use this experience to build an “essential system” in the relationship:

• Challenge At the beginning of the race each team is challenged not to waste time. Instead, they are challenged to use every moment, even the time driving between clues, to talk and share about life.

• Boundaries Guidelines for communication are shared by the senior pastor as he teaches every evening during “pit stops.” His messages focus on how parents and kids can connect together in

50

significant ways.

• Spark While they are driving from clue to clue, each team is given the book Questions for My Fa-ther by Vincent Staniforth.14 Staniforth wrote the book after his own father died. The book is sim-ply a list of questions he wishes he would have asked his father.

Imagine the authentic connection that happens be-tween parent and child driving in their car for three days, having the time of their lives, while sharing heart-to-heart through questions that dig bellow the surface. Now imagine that half of the teams on the race come from non-Christian homes. Suddenly, a ministry isn’t just reaching individuals, it’s reaching entire home systems.

2. Breakfast Challenge — Imagine a parent intention-ally taking their child to breakfast to talk about spiri-tual things. This challenge certainly doesn’t have to take place exclusively at breakfast. It could be din-ner, over hot chocolate, etc. The idea is for parents and kids to taste the experience of authentic con-nection in their relationship. Ideally, this experience might lead to intentional connection on a regular basis.

• Challenge Gather students and parents together and challenge them by saying, “At some point in the next 48 hours, start by going to breakfast together.” Or, “Stop on the way home tonight at Starbucks.” Find a way to get away together one on one and open up about what is happening in

14 Vincent Staniforth Questions for My Father: Finding the Man Behind Your Dad (Hillsboro, OR: Beyond Words Publishing)

51

life.

• Boundaries Equip them with these ground-rules, or boundaries:

a. Before you start, pray and ask God to connect you during this time.

b. Don’t abuse the information shared by using it against your family member in an argu-ment later or as a guilt trip.

c. Encourage each other to talk, even if your thoughts are weird.

d. Don’t be satisfied with each other’s first re-sponse to questions, dig deeper with follow up questions.

e. Keep up the pace. f. Remember, the goal is opening up and con-

necting, not finishing a lesson.• Spark Provide parents and students with a

book or resources to ignite spiritual conversation. Choose one resource to give to every home, or you might present resources in an annotated bib-liography complete with a short description and rating of resources from which they can choose.

One such resource to spark conversation is Global Short Film Network.15 GSFN is a resource pro-vided by Campus Crusade for Christ. It is a Web site full of short, 3- to 7-minute-long films de-signed to spark spiritual conversation. The films can be downloaded to a laptop or an iPhone for free. The Web site also provides question

15 Find this resource at www.globalshortfilmnetwork.com

52

cards for each fi lm that can be downloaded and printed. Imagine a parent and teenager sitting in Starbucks, watching a short fi lm to spark spiritual conversation. Imagine them talking through ques-tions on the conversation card. Now imagine a non-Christian parent opening up with their child about spiritual things. Imagine the child, who goes to church, leading their mom or dad to a re-

lationship with Jesus.

These are merely two ideas on applying an “essential system” into a parent-child relation-ship. But the principles can be applied in multi-ple circumstances. The FOUNDATION is built of seeing the home as

primary, the FRAMING is built with the question “How can we use this ministry to impact home systems, not just individuals?” The ESSENTIAL SYSTEMS of authen-tic communication can be installed in homes by equip-ping each program with a “Challenge,” “Boundaries,” and “Spark.”

Merely shouting out to homes that they are walking past the treasure of authentic connection will not cause them to stop and listen to the music. Instead, ministries can invite homes to experience this treasure in specifi c, signifi cant ways.

As they experience new levels in their relationship, they crave more. As they crave more, the church can not only equip them for relational depth, but also expose them

Merely shouting out to homes that they

are walking past the treasure of authentic

connection will not cause them to stop

and listen to the music.

53

to the ultimate treasure of a home built upon the influ-ence of Jesus Christ. Remember, when the church builds bridges between children or teenagers and their parents, it opens the door for the Gospel to transform homes.

PAINT AND TRIMPainting Vision that Draws Homes

into Transformation

Paint and trim often sell a home. The exterior look of a home is the primary message

presented to the outside world. A bad paint job can blind outsiders to the beauty within.

The FOUNDATION of seeing the home as primary has been established. The FRAME of building a back door into homes has

been created. The ESSENTIAL SYSTEMS have equipped homes with a simple way to create

open, authentic connection experiences. Now its time to communicate that vision

through PAINT and TRIM.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who own a Mac and those who wish they owned a Mac. Un-fortunately, I fi nd myself on the latter side of that equa-tion. Yes, I have “Mac-envy.” I am forced to live in a PC world, left to dream of the intuitive bliss that ultra-hip Mac people live in every time they open their MacBook Air Laptops.

Apple’s infl uence upon our way of life is undeniable. More than a tool, they have become a cultural icon with tentacles woven around multiple facets of our lives. Apple sets trends other companies spend millions just to catch up with. The world tunes in live and online to watch Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, deliver keynote addresses in which he unveils new generations of tech-nology.

Apple has a vision to do more than just grow as a cor-poration; their desire has been to leave a stamp of sig-nifi cance on the world. In 1997, shortly after he returned to the helm of the company, Jobs raised the expectations of what their company stood for:

“Our customers want to know, who is Apple, and what is it that we stand for? Where do we fi t in this world? And what we’re about isn’t making boxes for people to get their jobs done, although we do that well. We do that better than almost anybody, in

56

“some cases.

But Apple is about something more than that. Ap-ple at the core, its core value, is that we believe that people with passion can change the world for the better. That’s what we believe.”16

Jobs’ vision for Apple is bigger than business as usual. As a company, they have embraced this vision lived out in their famous slogan, “Think Different.” With passion, Apple truly has run after its challenge to “change the world for the better.” This vision elevates the workday for Apple employees beyond “making boxes” to im-pacting society for the better.

So how did a computer company become such a cultur-al force? Three words sum up their development strat-egy: “intuitiveness,” “power,” and “design.”

1. Intuitiveness: Macs are simple to use out of the box. Beyond simplicity, the user interface lends itself in obvious steps toward to accomplishing a task.

2. Design: The designs of Apple go beyond the cutting-edge aesthetic packaging of their products. Design is seen in every branding picture presented to culture at large.

3. Power: Despite simplicity, Macs pack a punch. Macs are the standard in several industries due to their processing and graphical power.

As ministries, our purpose is significantly larger than “...making boxes for people to get their jobs done.” Our

16 This speech can be viewed at www.gizmodo.com/5456142/10-year-old-video-of-steve-jobs-in-shorts-defining-apple

57

objective is far greater than even “...changing the world for the better.” Our vision ultimately draws people to discover a life-transforming personal relationship with the God who created galaxies.

The mere weight of our calling challenges ministries to consider strategies that lead to cultural impact. Apple has found a way to impact multiple generations of the home. In doing so, the Apple phenomenon provides a set of application principles for ministries to paint their own vision to their community:

1. Intuitiveness: Is it possible to develop usable strate-gies that engage homes in a process that includes obvious next steps to grow in Christ?

2. Design: Is it possible to clearly communicates a com-pelling vision that invites homes to engage in that process?

3. Power: Despite simplicity, is it possible to develop in-depth resources, programs, and tools that engage people in the transforming power of the Gospel?

INTUITIVENESSHomes are desperate for a road map. Ministries and churches uniquely hold truth, resources, and programs that could provide homes with what they crave. The problem is that how to engage in ministry resources is not always obvious to non-Christians (and even to churchgoers).

Sadly, many ministries resemble my PC as a random

58

collection of programs, resources, and tools (and junk) without a unified strategy to move people and homes through a process. What such ministries lack is a solid user interface. To the community and the congregation, the way to get connected in these ministries is not clear. These ministries are structured by arbitrary programs rather than a clear user-interface process.

In church context, a user interface is the system by which individuals and homes interact with the minis-try. If we are to impact non-Christian (and Christian) homes, we must develop user-interface strategies that link homes to a clear process of growth. There are three qualities of an engaging user interface. An intuitive user interface is usable, communicates a clear process, and provides obvious next steps.

• An intuitive user interface is USABLE.

A ministry’s user interface affects the amount of time and effort an individual or home must expend to inter-act with the ministry system. Usability effects how dif-ficult it is to learn how to do this. Our ability to engage non-Christian individuals and homes is in direct rela-tionship to the usability of our ministry resources and programs.

Often leaders and churchgoers are blinded to the lack of usability in their ministry environment because of their own familiarity. People embedded in church culture love the environment, and may find it easily “usable.” However, a visiting non-Christian would find that same environment foreign and confusing. While core attend-ees understand the unspoken environmental systems and rules, a non-Christian visitor has no idea where to

59

begin beyond attending a service.

Every ministry presents a user interface, whether it is intended or not. It comes down to the question of how clear it is for people to engage in the resources of the church. This is especially important in relation to fi rst-time guests and new homes. Do they know where to start? Do they know how to plug in? Are they chal-lenged to explore deeper resources of the ministry?

Consider the importance of usability when implement-ing “back-door” strategies similar to those presented in chapter 2. Remember, our target is not merely the individual, but the home in which that individual lives. As we implement strategies drawing homes of individuals in, what do they experience in our minis-tries? Usability will make the process of connecting in ministry resources effective, effi cient, and satisfying to new homes.

Challenge your leadership team to put themselves in the shoes of a newly engaged non-Christian home. How effective do they fi nd the resources of our minis-try? How effi ciently can a new home get plugged in? How satisfying is their involvement in the ministry (does the ministry deliver on what is promised)?

• An intuitive user interface communicates a clear PROCESS.

Andy Stanley, founding pastor of North Point Commu-nity Church in Atlanta, Georgia, shared a brilliant illus-

A user interface is the system by which individuals

and homes interact with the ministry.

60

tration with his staff to depict the importance of process in ministry. Reggie Joiner recounts what Stanley shared:

“Andy walked into our general staff meeting one morning with a handful of construction paper. He took a blue piece of paper and placed it on the floor at one end of the room. Then he walked about 30 feet away and dropped a green piece of paper on the floor. Then he asked us a question: ‘If the blue paper represents groups and the green paper represents our worship service...then how are we going to get people to move from the green paper to the blue?’

“Andy then selected one of our staff and asked her to stand on the green piece of paper. He then in-structed her to step from the green piece of paper to the blue without touching the floor. The staff member said that obviously this was impossible. When Andy asked her why, she said, ‘It’s too big of a step.’”17

Most ministries expect “...too big of a step” from the homes they are attempting to reach. People struggle to engage in ministry because the process of development is undefined, uncalled for, or unclear.

To use Stanley’s illustration, think about the girl stand-ing on the green paper. She is brand new to the church, possibly she has just accepted Jesus as her Savior. If the goal is to get her to the blue paper (small groups), then the ministry leaders must design steps that allow her to move easily from one piece of paper to the next until she has reached the blue paper.

17 Stanley, Andy, Reggie Joiner, and Lane Jones, 7 Practices of Effective Ministry (Sisters, OR: Multnomah Publishers, 2004), 93

61

Keep in mind, the target is not to merely reach non-Christian individuals, but to reach the home systems they live in. If churches are truly to impact home sys-tems, leaders must think through a process to walk individuals and homes from the green paper to the blue paper (their goal to engage homes in).

Place a blue piece of paper at one end of a room. Place a green piece at the opposite end. That green paper rep-resents a non-Christian individual engaging in some element of your ministry. The blue piece of paper repre-sents that individual’s home system not merely reached, but thriving in Christ. Take a stack of paper and have your team map a clear path from the green sheet to the blue. Then integrate the user interface you’ve developed to communicate how homes engage in that process.

• An intuitive user interface provides OBVIOUS next steps.

I love old-school Bill Cosby comedy. One of my favorite stories he tells comes from the Bill Cosby: Himself con-cert tour. In the bit, Cosby shares how teenagers don’t seem to have their brains turned on. He describes send-ing his teenage son upstairs to take a shower. Cosby shares how he learned the hard way that, unless he told his son to “turn on the water” or “use the shampoo” his son would just stand in the bathtub, naked, staring at the wall in front of him.

For most people, when we go up to take a shower the obvious next step is to turn on the water. To be intuitive means we don’t really need to think something, it is just the obvious thing to do.

Just because we have created a process with steps to

62

take, it does not mean people will automatically take those steps. Next steps must be obvious and clearly communicated.

Regardless of the strategies or processes ministry lead-ers design, to keep that system intuitive means making steps natural and obvious. People and homes are too busy, too distracted, and too focused on life’s issues to fully connect in ministries that lack intuition. An intui-tive user interface allows people to easily engage in the resources and programs our ministries offer. The more intuitive a ministry is for guests, the more non-Christian homes will naturally engage in ministry resources.

DESIGNApple’s Mac computers are famously intuitive. But is an obvious user interface enough to create a cultural revolution? The Mac machine has much more to it than a smooth interface; it’s creative design has thrust Apple forward as a cultural icon.

Are you a Mac? The type of computer used at the coffee shop communicates who you are as a person. This is the clear message of Apple’s recent “I’m a Mac” campaign featuring the confident, ultra-hip young “Mac” guy ver-sus the uptight, nerdy “PC” guy. I admit, I tend to feel like old nerdy Bill Gates opening my PC at Starbucks, surrounded by the young, effortlessly hip Mac users.

In marketing terms, Apple has intentionally established a powerful “brand.” Branding is the personality of an organization. We all have a mental picture that comes to

63

mind when we think of the Apple Corporation.

Our culture has an established a “brand” when it comes to the home. The terms “home” and “family” bring up mental images often full of pain and hurt. Let’s face it, the home brand is on shaky ground in our country.

When Steve Jobs returned to Apple Inc. in 1997, the Mac brand lay in shambles. The product lines were stalling, and the company’s image was tarnished. His predeces-sor, CEO Gil Amelio, was ousted by the board of di-rectors after overseeing a three-year record-low stock price and crippling fi nancial losses.18

In the debris of the climate of the day, Jobs stood in front of his company and gave the speech recorded at the beginning of this chap-ter; “...Apple is about some-thing more than [making boxes for people to get their jobs done]. Apple at the core, its core value, is that we believe that people with passion can change the world for the better. That’s what we believe.”19 Despite the fi nancial situation the com-pany faced, employees had a longing that their com-pany could be more. In the face of disaster, Jobs tapped into that longing and re-branded the vision of what they could become.

18 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Inc.#1998.E2.80.932005:_Return_to_profi tability19 Th is speech can be viewed at www.gizmodo.com/5456142/10-year-old-video-of-steve-jobs-in-shorts-defi ning-apple

Regardless of the strategies or processes ministry leaders design, to keep that system

intuitive means making steps

natural and obvious.

64

As we leverage the home as a key to evangelism, we encounter an unprecedented opportunity to re-brand a higher vision for the home. Despite the disasters facing homes, there is still an engraved longing on every heart that the home is meant for more.

When ministries tap into this longing they have the ability to paint a new vision for the home—the vision hearts long for. Vision is a picture of the future. It paints destinations larger than where we currently are. People gravitate toward vision that grabs the imagination of mind and heart. This is the vision that grabs the heart of a non-Christian parents dragged to church by their child. This is the vision that God can use to melt that parent’s cold heart to the Gospel.

Steve Jobs challenged his company to be about chang-ing the world. This vision flows through every design. It is the consistent story they communicate from advertis-ing campaigns to Mac stores and Web sites, to the look and feel of the very material they use to create hard-ware.

Challenge your leadership team to design the vision your ministry communicates to non-Christian homes. If your programs and resources are about reaching entire homes, then how is that vision communicated? What is the mental image you want non-Christians to think of when they think of your church? How is this vision communicated in messages to marketing to the very design and look of your facility?

POWERMacs are intuitively designed. However, the most intui-

65

tive and easy-to-use computers in the world become worthless if they cannot deliver the power users need to get the job done. Regardless of how intuitive their user interface, or culturally relevant their marketing, if they fail to deliver on promised performance they’ll end up joining fates with the Commodore 64.

The design and intuitive user interfaces’s of Apple products are mere vehicles through which users dis-cover computing power. The power is the primary reason their products have become the standard in multiple industries.

Fortunately our power and performance has nothing to do with gigabytes or tera-bytes, but rather our source is the power of God. When people encounter that infi -nite power, their lives are transformed into a new cre-ation. When believers live dependent upon that power, God uses us to impact the lives of others.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we are His primary strat-egy to engage non-Christian people with the power of God. It does no good to draw people into an intuitively designed vision that fails to truly engage people with that power. This would be the same as selling a home beautifully painted and trimmed on the outside, yet be-ing worthless due to structural damage on the inside.

We do not save non-Christians via creative strategy and processes to targeting homes over individuals. People are saved only by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.

It does no good to draw people into an intuitively designed vision that fails to truly engage people with the power of

the Cross.

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Our intuitively designed strategies merely expose lost homes to the authentic transforming power of God.

As we strategize to reach the lost individuals through their homes, remember it is all about exposing them to the transforming wonder of Jesus Christ. Unless we en-gage homes with the power of Cross our ministries too will join fates with the Commodore 64.

Here is yet another beauty of targeting homes over indi-viduals. It is found in the community experience over an individual’s experience.

People who have traveled to a third-world country on a mission trip may experience frustration on their re-turn in communicating that experience to people once they’re home. Only team members who have shared the same sights, emotions, power, and smells of the experience can fully appreciate what is shared. Frustra-tion grows quickly over the lack of passion and interest friends and family show over their journey. Such a per-son has engaged in an individual experience that their home community cannot relate to.

However, each team member from the trip has shared a community experience together. They’re shared expe-rience allows them to relate with each other on a com-pletely different level. When memories are shared, they can instantly connect with the context and environment in which that memory took place. When heart lessons are shared from the experience team members can relate with passion and intense interest.

When a non-Christian individual finds Christ, return-ing home is like that missionary returning home from the third world trying to express what happened. Their

67

home, the primary system in which they live out life cannot relate to the passion and power the new believer is trying to convey. Frustration grows quickly and dis-tance can be created in family relationships. The home misses out on the power available to them via the Cross.

However, when a church develops an intuitively de-signed strategy to reach beyond the individual to the home, they allow the entire home to see the power of a community experience. The home becomes like a mis-sions team seeing God work in amazing ways:

• Do you want to astonish a dad? Then equip that fa-ther’s daughter to invite her dad to church.

• Do you want to amaze a son? Then equip that dad to have the way he leads his family transformed.

• Do you want a mom to be in awe? Then equip that mom to have her relationship with her daughter renewed.

The home is the primary system in which people live out life. Perhaps the greatest way for non-Christians to experience the power of the Cross is by experiencing the Cross transforming the their home. The intuitively designed vision we communicate opens the hearts of people to experience this power not as individuals, but as a family.

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POST-CONSTRUCTIONBeyond Mediocrity

The FOUNDATION of seeing the home as primary has been established. The FRAME of building a back door into homes has been created. The ESSENTIAL SYSTEMS

have equipped homes with a simple way to create open, authentic connection

experiences. The PAINT and TRIM sell the vision of the home.

Now construction of the vision is complete. Individuals and homes engage in the

vision and experience the power of home system transformation for themsleves.

Churches engage in the vision and move beyond mediocrity to a new standard of

dynamic ministry effectiveness.

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Subaru isn’t exactly known for their cutting-edge ad-vertising campaigns. However, in late 2010, they hit the marketing-ball out of the park. They developed a cam-paign in which they developed an imaginary car com-pany called “Mediocrity Motor Company” in order to promote the 2011 Subaru Legacy. The fake company’s philosophy statement captured the idea of the promo-tion:

“The Mediocrity Mission is to manufacture the most mainstream mid-size sedan on the road today. Our company is extremely dedicated and passion-ate about ‘middle-of-the-road.’ Each and every day, we strive for predictability, un-originality and no-frills utilitarianism for all of your transportation needs. The 2011 mediocrity will get you from A to B without anybody ever noticing, and that’s a good thing.” —Josh P. Brown President/CEO Mediocrity Motor Company.

Subaru developed a complete Web site20 for this mock company compete with videos on how the model was designed, photo galleries, shopping tools, a video game (featuring the 2011 Mediocrity), a dealer locator, a social network page, and such memorable quotes such as:

• “What we did here was fi gure out a way to blend in 20 www.subaru.com/content/static/fi ghtmediocrity/index.html

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more...just by driving a car.”—Darren Tibbits, imagi-nary Senior Vice President of Design.

• “When we came up with this idea we thought, ‘Well let’s not come up with any other ideas. This idea is good enough.’”—Charles S. Veit, imaginary Chief Design Officer.

• “We wanted to take all of the other sedans out there, all of their predictability, and roll them into one car.” —Marilyn Reiter, imaginary Senior Vice President, Worldwide Product Development.

• “I dare you to look at this car and find something that stands out.”—Darren Tibbits, imaginary Senior Vice President of Design.

Subaru is not mentioned anywhere on the Mediocrity Web site. Instead, each page has a small button that says something like, “CLICK HERE TO FIND A MORE DY-NAMIC CAR.” Once a person clicks on the button they are taken to an exiting video and Web site featuring the 2011 Subaru Legacy. The contrast sells the vision that the new Legacy is exciting and anything but an ordi-nary sedan.

Subaru’s “Fight Mediocrity” campaign is highly cre-ative and entertaining. It is a light-hearted challenge to an auto industry infamous for producing four-door sedans lacking personality and soul.

Sadly, we live in a culture that views Christianity as being about as dynamic as a 2011 Mediocirity. What’s more heart-breaking is that most churches are quite content with mediocrity. Instead of being driven to use every ounce of our strength to reach the lost, we are

71

content with a buisness-as-usual approach to ministry. As long as we have “butts” in the seats and “bank” in the offering we are a successful ministry. Meanwhile homes remain relational disasters and the individuals living in those homes remain secure on their life-jour-ney towards an eternity separated from God.

What would it look like to press a “CLICK HERE TO FIND A MORE DYNAMIC MINISTRY” button? What would happen if ministries were driven to reach individuals by targeting the homes in which those individuals live? What would it look like if entire home systems that have never stepped foot in church encountered the transforming power of the Cross?

The home is the key to revival. Targeting evangelistic efforts and strategies toward home systems is pressing that button and discovering dynamic ministries that transform lives.

It is high time we reject what is considered acceptable and move to higher standards in ministry. Consider what Allan Lunsford, from InsideWork, discovered as he analyzed the data from the International Bulletin of Missionary Research. Lunsford compared the average number of baptisms per church each year with the typi-cal church budget. He estimates the average cost per convert at $345,000.21

Think about that number for a moment. Does it ring true? I admit that at fi rst glance I rejected that number as statistical manipulation. Than I began to consider the 21 insidework.net/resources/articles/business-is-our-mission

CLICK HERE TO FIND A MORE

DYNAMIC MINISTRY

72

size of the budget in my own church. I began to cross-reference Lunsford’s number with the statistics I am all too familiar with such as the average church sees less than 3 new converts a year.22 Or, half of all churches did not add a single member through conversion last year.23 Consider the billions of dollars making up church bud-gets across the United States and Lunsford’s $345,000 statistic seem a bit more realistic.

It is easy to explain away this thinking by reason-ing that one cannot put a price on someone fi nding Christ. But is this good stewardship? Are we

mismanaging resources we’ve been entrusted with? We are stewards of ministry resources, not owners of those resources.

Let’s pause a moment and think of this in business terms. Customer acquisition cost is the cost associ-ated with convincing a consumer to buy a particular product or service, including research, marketing, and advertising costs. Take a company like Nike. Nike states that their customer acquisition cost is around $100 per customer. They estimate spending $100 in research, marketing, and advertising costs attracting one new customer.24

If we were to view ministry through business eyes, the customer acquisition cost for the a run of the mill church would be $345,000. Would any business model 22 www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/the-state-of-the-church-2005-d-greg-ebie-sermon-on-church-purpose-of-75466.asp23 ibid24 insidework.net/resources/articles/at-347000-per-baptism-maybe-it%E2%80%99s-time-to-rethink-church

Are we mismanaging resources we’ve been

entrusted with?

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sustain a $345,000 cost to attract a customer? Imagine that business’ board meetings.

Obviously the church is about more than new conver-sions. Church budgets are crafted to provide funding for multiple ministries and values. Ministries glorify God through worship, discipleship, service, fellowship, and evangelism (thank you Rick Warren).25

Budgets, to lesser and greater degrees, provide resourc-es to accomplish the prioritized purposes and values of ministries. So, to avoid overstatement of $345,000 resulting from a simplifi ed equation (average budget/average number of baptism), let’s divide that number by 5 (according to Rick Warren’s 5 purposes of the church). If evangelism is one of 5 church purposes, then a conservative esti-mate would be that it is worth at least 1/5 of the budget. For argument’s sake, this results in the average church spends $69,000 to reach one new convert to Christ.

Would a $69,000 customer acquisition cost be acceptable to any other organization? Then why is it up to stan-dard in the church? Have we lowered our expectations to the point of absolute ineffectiveness? Are we satis-fi ed with 3 converts a year or for half of our churches not seeing one new believer? Are we comfortable with a church machine providing good paying jobs for pastors and staff regardless of the effectiveness that ministry has for reaching new people for Jesus Christ? 25 Warren, Rick, Th e Purpose-Driven Church (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1995)

Have we lowered our expectations to the point of absolute

ineffectiveness?

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Remember the unspoken North American mission statement from chapter 1 of “bank and butts”(the more money in your budget, and the more people showing up on weekends, the more successful your ministry). A new metric is desperately needed. One that doesn’t measure effectiveness via “bank and butts”; rather, it targets the ability of a ministry to be used by the Holy Spirit to reach new followers of Christ. True effective-ness in evangelism will not be achieved by continuing

to target individuals in age-specifi c minis-try strategies. Instead, the church holds the unprecedented oppor-tunity to reach beyond individuals to evangelize the home systems those individuals live in.

My purpose is not to dwell on numbers or

to put a $69,000 price tag on a soul. It’s not to question our stewardship of resources entrusted to us. Instead, it is to challenge our expectations, presuppositions, and methodology when it comes to ministry. We must move beyond mediocrity.

The home is the key to revival. Our culture has dis-missed the church as irrelevant. Part of the insignifi -cance of the church in society’s eyes is the direct result of accepted lower ministry standards. The lost carry an uneasy resentment towards professional Christian-ity. Few things are more distasteful to non-Christians than the hypocrisy of the banks and butts mentality. On the contrary, nothing engages the lost more than when

Part of the insignificance of the church is society’s eyes is the direct

result of accepepted lower ministry standards.

75

they personally experience the wonder and power of the Cross. God’s primary encounter agent for the lost to fi nd Christ is through the very church they dismiss as irrelevant. Herein lies the disconnect.

Imagine the wonder a non-Christian father experiences upon seeing his formerly rebellious teenage son’s be-havior and attitude toward him transform as a direct result of going to youth group. Imagine the amazement of that same son inviting his father to engage in deeper relationship through a back-door strategy similar to those discussed in chapter 2. Engaging the home is not only the key to revival, it is also the key to moving be-yond mediocrity.

Perhaps the greatest opportunity for the lost to experi-ence amazement lies not in powerful worship services or teaching, but in people experiencing the miracle of God transforming the relational environmental that ex-ists in their home system.

A ministry that grasps this opportunity moves beyond the mediocrity resulting from the low acceptable standards of the church world bubble. Such a church stands out in direct contrast to the mediocrity model of church our society has come to expect. A church viewing ministry through the lens of engaging home systems is a ministry target-ing beyond banks and butts.

While the drive for bigger attendance and large offer-ings repels the lost from most churches, a vision that

Any ministry willing to pursue back-door

ministry will open itself to a new level of impact and influence.

76

measures a church’s ability to connect relationships in the home is a ministry metric non-Christians can em-brace. Instead of measuring success via what occurs inside the church, we measure the effectiveness of min-istry based upon what occurs where a majority of life is lived—in homes.

Churches moving beyond mediocrity ask evaluative questions such as:

• How many children and teenagers have we engaged from non-Christian homes this week?

• How many children or teenagers found Jesus as their Savior this week?

• How many parents from non-Christian homes were engaged in the resources of our ministry?

• How many parents or adults from non-Christian homes found Jesus as their Savior this week?

• How many homes are engaged in at least one inten-tional activity to grow closer to God and each other this week?

Picture individuals and entire homes being reached for Christ on a weekly basis. Think about the ministry mo-mentum created by hundreds (even thousands) of non-Christian homes being transformed by Christ in your church each year. Sound impossible?

Rick Long is one my favorite pastors. He is the senior pastor at Grace Church in Arvada, Colorado. Rick cofounded Grace Church with Greg Stier who is the founder and president of Dare2Share ministries, a min-

77

istry that has trained hundreds of thousands of teenag-ers in how to reach their friends for Jesus Christ.

Rick and Greg actually dreamed of planting a church together in middle school. In their minds they imagined a church where evangelism was the sole DNA. What would it look like for a church to truly make disciples who made disciples.

Years later they planted Grace Church Arvada. The ministry was founded on this idea of creating a church environment passionate to reach the lost with the Gos-pel. Almost every church in the country claims a pas-sion for reaching non-Christians, at Grace Church it is a driving expectation. Just think about these two statis-tics:

• Grace Church Arvada averages 16 people making decisions for Christ every weekend.26

• Over 60% of their congregation are new converts to Christianity.27

Talk about raising expectations beyond the mediocre. Imagine seeing 16 people come to Christ every week-end. Contrast what is happening at Grace Church Ar-vada with what is happening at the typical church. It would take the average church five or six years to see 16 people find Christ. Most church growth is measured by homes transferring from other ministries. We live in a church hopping “stealing sheep” society. Yet, over 60% of Grace Church Arvada’s growth is due to people who have found Jesus as their Savior at Grace Church.

26 This statistic comes from a personal interview with Rick Long, lead pastor at Grace Church in Arvada, Colorado27 Ibid

78

In a ministry culture of lowered expectations, Grace Church Arvada stands as a shining example of what is possible. Most pastors I know did not get into ministry to baby-sit sheep. They had a burning desire to see lives transformed for Jesus. Yet, years in ministry tend to burn down passion until 3 new believers a year seems normal.

In my role at Colorado Christian University, much of my time is spent in one-on-one conversations with pastors. These con-versations focus on what CCU can do to partner with churches to train

people in evangelism. When I bring up the example of Grace Church Arvada with pastors they’re response is often encouraging. Hearts of pastors resonate a desire to see new believers coming to Christ on a weekly basis. Pastors crave seeing growth not from “stealing sheep,” but from new lives transformed by the Gospel.

Imagine if such growth was not the exception, but the rule for ministry. Picture the relevance and impact on culture if thousands of churches saw multiple people fi nding Christ on a weekly basis.

Take it a step further, envision the power of the primary outreach strategy focusing on the home. Suddenly, the infl uence potential multiplies. Instead of 16 individual’s coming to Christ, home-driven ministries see 16 door-ways open into homes. Such ministries develop strate-gies targeting the home behind the individuals accord-ing to principles presented in earlier chapters.

Most pastors did not get into ministry to

baby-sit sheep.

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The home is the key to revival. The strategies and ideas presented in this book are not new, and they are not original. They fl ow from principles long forgotten in a post-modern, program-dependent ministry culture. However, churches across the globe are rediscovering the power of ministry that launches homes to live out the challenges God gave in to Israel in Deuteronomy 6.

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your chil-dren. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.”28

The context of Deuteronomy 6 is the God-given plan for Israel to pass on a awe of God to new generations after they have entered the Promise Land. A Christian father and mother are charged with the responsibil-ity of passing on a relationship with God to their children. It is not the church’s responsibility to pass on faith just like it was not the nations of Israel’s responsibility. Instead, God placed the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of parents.

The applicability of this passage is obvious when con-28 Deuteronomy 6:6-9.

A Christian father and mother are charged with the resposnibility of

passing a relationship with God to their

children.

sidering homes who already know Jesus. Yet principles can be abstracted and applied to homes who have not yet encountered Jesus. Deuteronomy 6 underscores the importance of targeting homes over individuals. Minis-tries targeting individuals without strategies to engage the home ignore the power of principles laid out in God’s challenge to Israel. Such ministries may effective-ly reach people, but fail engage the wonder and power of a home reached for Christ. Perhaps the mediocrity of a church culture averaging less than 3 new believers a

year is directly related to a ministry environment that has forgotten the untapped power of homes conveyed in Deuteronomy 6.

It is time to press the “CLICK HERE TO FIND A MORE DYNAMIC MINISTRY” button. It is time to engage the home as a primary evangelism strategy. The power of Subaru’s Mediocrity Web site is the contrast pre-sented once a viewer clicks on the “CLICK HERE TO

FIND A MORE DYNAMIC CAR.” A new Web site pops up featuring the 2011 Subaru Legacy. The distinction between the mind-numbing Mediocrity and the electri-fying Legacy brings an emotional response that leads to increased Subaru sales.

It is time for ministries to offer a clear distinction be-tween the mind-numbing irrelevant ministry our cul-

Perhaps the mediocrity of a church

culture averaging less than 3 new

believers a year is directly related to a ministry environment

that has forgeten the untapped pwer

of homes conveyed in Deuteronomy 6.

ture has come to expect, and the electrifying hope that people experience when their homes are transformed by the power of God. Homes are desperate for hope. Homes are desperate for life. The church is God’s pri-mary strategy to bring the transforming power of the Gospel. The home truly is the key to revival.

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About the AuthorBrian Carlson is the founder of brainTank®, a consulting service dedicated to unlocking the creative brain of ministry teams. BrainTank specializes in leading ministry teams through a creative process towards unique

strategies and vision. The resulting strategies help churches to maximize their influence upon homes and communities.

Brian has also been a pastor for the past sixteen years. Recently he joined the staff of Colorado Christian University in order to lead a movement called The Year of Evangelism across Colorado.

Brian is married and has four children. Brian and his family live in Colorado Springs where they are still a part of Woodmen Valley Chapel, the church at which Brian was a pastor.

www.braintankcreative.com

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