In FourReels

By R. ThrogmortonDe Lacey.REEL I.

CRASHINTA Zoop, weight 4.96pounds ringside, only andlovely daughter of N. Oodle

(Zoop, the world'a wealthiest bank¬er, la crocheting lady-fingers on

the best horsehair sofa in her

papa'a million-dollar mansion.Closeup of Zoop doorbell ring¬

ing. Ctoeeup of Crashinta regis¬tering expectant nonchalance.Closeup of Van Heuaen Lipeodent,poor but honest Janitor of Zoop'sRadium Bank, aa he enteraCLOSER CLOSEUP of Crash-

(inta and Van Heusen aa roay-

flngered love at first sight dawnaupon their features. TITLE:"Cupid's sharp darts have piercedtheir hearts."Van Heusen elnks upon his

knees before Craahlnta and says.81???? TITLE: "Tou are theonly girl I'll ever love."

Crashinta, throwing her arms

about his neck, cries.SPOKENTITLE: "Let ua fly," FADEOUT.

REEL II.N. Oodle Zoop, the world'a

wealthiest banker, In hia bank¬ing office peraplrlngly engaged Incounting out a million dollars Innickela.CLOSEUP of telephone bell

tinging Zoop takes up receiver.Voice at other end aaye.SPOKENTITLE: "Tour daughter has juateloped with a commoner. He laVan Heuaen Lipeodent. Theyare on their way to the MarriageLicense Bureau."Zoop is stunned, but quickly re¬

covering-, be dashes out to hlapurring gold-plated, platinum-lined limousine and drives off likemad. FADEOUT.

REEL III.

In a southbound subway ex¬

press. Craahlnta and Van Heusenare holding hands, frequently kiss¬ing each other fervently. BeeideVan Heusen are two rough-lookingpoorly-clad men, obviously WallStreet broker». The étrangers are

talking. Craahlnta la babbling andVan Heuaen puta his mitt over

her mouth and says.SPOKENTITLE: "Sh-h." he listens towhat the men are aaying. FADE-OUT.

REEL IV.The Marriage Llcenae Bureau.Craahlnta and Van Heuaen do aclasalcal dance up to the clerk'adesk. Zoop, with two men inevening clothes.plainly detectives.»steps up and tears them apart,shouting . SPOKEN TITLE:"Hold, you fiend, you shall notsteal my daughter!"Van Heuaen. offering Zoop a

Cigarette, replies . SPOKENTITLE: "I Juat overheard Im¬portant news for you. Two menare plotting to rob the vault in.the bank."Zoop, tearing hla hair in an¬

guish, trise.SPOKEN TITLE:"And all my liquor la there. Blesapou my children." Zoop dasheaout. closely followed by detectives.

Crastflnta and Van Heuaen fallInto each other'a arma. TheyStand against the eettlng sun

shining through the office win¬dows and ws an FADEOUT.

ROLL YOUR OWNOUTLINE of any modern mur¬

der mystery story:First day."Victim found

Brutally slain." *

Second day.Witness tells ofhearing body tall with a "dullthud."Third day.New witness tells of

hearing a "woman'e piercingecream."Fourth day.Combination of "baf¬

fling mystery" and "latest offi¬cial theories."

Fifth day.Crank letters to of-

Slxth day«."Arrest near."Seventh day.''Caae complete.**

BSSMBUm say.Eighth day*.All suspects eatab-

Beh "satisfactory alibis'' and are"eliminated from case." And soen ad in fin It urn.By filling In the dates, names

other minor details any manthua write hla own murder

story.

Thai's Where the Stars Are.Julia. I think I'll go into the

movies.Jack.Fine. I Juat know you'll

he a. star.Julia.What makee you think

esTJack."Weil, whenever I get near

pou I aeem to be in Heaven.

A Warm Discussion.We gather from this Oulf

Stream discussion that, Europe¦earns to he getting all heatedup now because they're afraidthey won't get heated up later.

Explanation.*

Bill.Hew Is It that they call a

gecond-rate actor a ham*Will.Bocanas, my dear fallow,

ths word ham Is always associatedwith eggsl

At Last!"Language Dead 1,000 Tears Is

Heard Again.".Headline.« -I'm ringing your party,"

US BOYS <a«wtot«jr·« o. a ratea« om«a> Skinny Philosophizes

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So This IsNew York

By Lisle BellTHE AQUARIUM.

WHEN the Aquariumfirst buUt It was calledCaatle Garden. probably

becauee It didn't look anythinglike a castle or a garden. Soonafterward, Jenny Lind sang In It.which explains why it wasmade Into an aquarium. Fromthe high C's to the high seas, asit were.The Aquarium Is a nice, quiet

place to spend an afternoon. Thefishes do very little talking, whileloud laughter and roughhouse laabsolutely prohibited. Occasion¬ally ths seals bark, but their barkis worse than their bita Theyare really very hlgb claaa seals.One of them haa two children inBarnum A Bailey's circus.There are very few rules to re¬

member In visiting tbe aquarium.You will find that the most Im¬portant Is the one requiring youto park your fishing tackle in thecheckroom. Theee are poor fisi«.and are fed by the taxpayer»They can get along without yourworm·.

Keep your hand on your pocket-book while passing ths sharks.The attendants ars not responsi¬ble for the low moral standardsof these finny fellows.Avoid poking holes in the glass

cases, as the fish haven't any toomuch water as It is. Likewise ItIs not considered gentlemanly topoint out the biggest fish in theplace and then begin to compareit with the one you caught last.kummer.

The best view of the animalscan be obtained at a distance often feet. If you get any closer,the fish ars apt to turn tall.Remember that the fish are on

a diet. Do not feed them popcornor peanuts.

LAFFS IN THENEWS

FRENCH fashion leaders dyepet dogs all colors to matchcoats.Newa item. Begin¬

nini»· to look like every dog has his

dye.

The report that women are go¬

ing to show their ears this Fall,It appears, Is ear-oneous.

Now that the North and Southpoles bave been discovered, theaverage man wants to know whatia going to be done with 'en-

Germany won't get on Its feetuntil the American touriste gettheir feet on Germany.

The average wife aavea ths aver¬

age husband quite a lot of money,at that. She always sees to it thathe baa to wear an overcoat fouror five seasons.

The trouble with tbe new dialtelephone la that when you getthe wrong number yourself youwon't be able to cuss anybodybut yourself.

The richest man in Iowa diedthe other day and his heirs are

putting up a hot and spirited con

test for their share. He left threetona of coal and aix caaea ofwhiskey.

They Played Bridge.The young man arrived at the

party and made his way to thehostess, greeting her and apolo¬gising for his lateness."Awfully glad to see you, Mr.

.iones." said the hostese. "Sogood of you to come. But whereIs your brother?""He waa unable to come. You

eee, we are ao busy Just now thatIt was Impossible for both of us

to get away, and so we tossed upto see which of us should come.""How nice! And you woef"No," replied the young man.

absently. "I lost!".National Re¬publican.

A Fairy Tale at That.Six year-old Mary awoke about

I o'clock tn tbe morning."Tell me a story, mamma," she

pleaded. "Hush, darling." su idher mother, "daddy will be Insoon and tell us both ons.".At¬lanta Constitution.

What."Gee! I wish I were young

again!'' sighed Mrs. Marter, ofMartyevllle."So do I." agreed ber husband,

wearily. "I wish you ware Juatabout a year younger than wheawe got married.". RichmondTlmes-Diapatch.

.1

Our Preecriptlon List.A leay girlIs Carrie C*rowder;She always makes me

Lug her powder.

Flapper Fairy Tales.Ludwig-- Would you Ilka te aee

the "Follie*" tonight?Georgette.Thanks for the invi

lation. bat rm going to stay hornsand help mother wash ths dishes.

The Truth Always HartsHale.Whet's this story about

your coal bin being empty?' " ' »?Su_..