Im dating

THERE IS A RIGHT AND WRONG WAY TO DATEIm Dating

Are you dating? It is important to know that there is a right and a wrong way to date.1A healthy dating relationship consist of 2 individuals who have mutual respect for one another (they like each other)

Make sure the person you want to date likes you in return (Otherwise potential for embarrassment)

Be aware and advised that not all students will be excited about your new dating status (This can sometimes result in jealousy, envy or strife in friendships)

What Should I Know?

A healthy dating relationship consists of two individuals who have a mutual respect for one another. They like each other and enjoy each others company. It is important that the person you want to date likes you in return to avoid potential embarrassment. Understand that not all your friends will be excited about your new dating status. Sometimes jealousy or envy can result in strife in friendships.2Value - beliefs, ideas, background and wishes

Respect- likes, dislikes, differences and choices

Consider the other person - youre not in the relationship alone (their opinion counts as well as yours)Ingredients for a Healthy Relationship

A healthy relationship is one in which both individuals involved are valued and respected. It is important to value each others beliefs, ideas, backgrounds, and wishes. Respect each others likes, dislikes, differences, and choices. Always consider the other person in the relationship. You are not in the relationship alone, their opinion counts too!

3The social practice of getting to know someone you like and are attracted to

An extension of a special friendship

A way to learn more about a personDating Is

Dating is the social practice of getting to know someone that you like and are attracted to. Many times it is an extension of a special friendship with someone you know and a way to learn more about that individual. 4An expression of the beginning stages of young adulthood

An event that can occur at various stages in life

Is usually temporary NOT intended to be permanent! No matter how strong your feelings are

Is NOT a promise of marriage (which is intended to be permanent)

Dating Is

Often, dating marks the expression of the beginning stages of young adulthood and is an event that can occur at various stages in ones life. The length of time a persons dates varies from person to person, but is usually always temporary and NOT intended to be permanent. Dating is NOT a promise of marriage which is intended to be permanent. Problems can and do arise when one or both person fail to realize the relationship may very well end!

5Group dating

Double dating

Dating at home with parents/guardian near by

Inviting a good friend to tag along

Have the date planned & know what youre going to do; ensure you both agree; NO surprises!

Dating Safety Tips

Dating can be done in a safe and healthy way. The following are some dating safety tips: group dating, double dating, dating at home with your parents or guardians nearby, invite a good friend to join you, have the date planned out-know what you are going to do and where you will go-make sure you both agree with the plan so that there are no unexpected surprises!6Safety Tips

Leave if you are uncomfortable

Trust your instincts

Use good judgment

If at any point during the date you feel uncomfortable, do not be afraid to leave and end the date. Trust your instincts and use good judgment, speak up and express your concerns!7Be sure a parent/guardian or good friend knows your plans and what time to expect you home

Be aware that using drugs or alcohol decrease your ability to make wise/good decisions

Be firm and straightforward in your relationships, assert yourself. (NEVER allow anyone to convince you to do something dangerous, illegal or against your values)

Safety Tips

Be sure that somebody such as a parent/guardian or friend know what your plans are for your date and know what time you expect to be home. Recognize that using drugs or alcohol at any time decrease your ability to make wise and good decisions and might hinder your judgment in any dating situation. Be firm and straightforward in your relationship; assert yourself! Never allow anyone to convince you to do something that is dangerous, illegal, or against your values. Never allow anyone to force you to do something you dont want to do. 8Getting to know someone takes time (thats what dating is all about)

Spending too much alone time w/someone you dont know could present problems later

Know what you will and will not accept in a dating relationship

Keep in Mind

Keep in mind that getting to know someone takes time! Thats part of what dating is all about! But recognize that spending too much time alone with someone you do not know could present problems for you in the future. When beginning to date, know exactly what things you will and will not accept in a dating relationship. It is important to have a clear understanding of what those things are!9What is acceptable?

How do I know if my partner has crossed the line?

How do I know if I am a victim?

Healthy Relationships

So what is acceptable in a dating relationship? How am I supposed to know if my partner has done something wrong and crossed the line? How can I recognize if I am a victim of dating abuse? Can it really happen to me???10I didnt cause this, I didnt do it. This happened to me and it could happen to anybody. -Rihanna

It can happen to Anyone

I didnt cause this, I didnt do it. This happened to me and it could happen to anybody.11What could I possibly have said to make him hit me and do this? -Rihanna

What could I possible have said to make him hit me and do this?

12It was confusing for me, I was still attached by love but I wasnt thinking about the reality of the situation. -Rihanna

It was confusing for me, I was still attached by love but I wasnt thinking about the reality of the situation.

13I knew he felt really bad about doing it, I just didnt know if he understood the extent of what he really did. -Rihanna

I knew he felt really bad about doing it, I just didnt know if he understood the extent of what he really did.

14I didnt talk about it to anyone, no one. -Rihanna

I didnt talk about it to anyone, no one.

15In February 2009, R&B singer Rihanna became a victim of dating violence. Today she has talked about her story to help other dating violence victims.

In February of 2009, singer Rihanna became a victim of dating violence. She has publicly talked about her story to help other dating violence victims like herself.

16Dating Statistics1 in 3 high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship

40% of girls (14-17) say they know someone who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend

Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners

Statistics show that teen dating violence is happening. 1 in 3 high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. 40% of girls between the ages of 14-17 say that they know someone who has been hit or beaten by their boyfriend. It has been shown that teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners in the relationship.17In 1995, 7% of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends

20% of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship

Most reported dating violence is typically towards the female, however males can also be victims of teen dating violenceDating Statistics

In 1995, 7% of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends. 20% of dating couples report some type of violence throughout the course of their relationship. And while most reported dating violence situations are typically violent actions toward females, males can also be victims of teen dating violence.18The following teens give their account of teen dating relationship gone WRONG

Teen Relationship Violence is a REAL fact of life

As the dating statistics indicate, teen relationship violence is a real fact of life and is happening within high school relationships. The following video highlights teens who share their stories of teen dating relationship gone WRONG!

Teachers please click the link at the bottom and then click the link for the Teen Audience video.

(Video clip is 12 minutes long.)19Dating Violence Video Extreme jealousyControlling behaviorQuick involvementUnpredictable mood swingsAlcohol and/or drug useExplosive angerIsolates you from friends and familyUses force during argumentsOwns/uses weaponsRefuses to let you end the relationshipWarning Signs

That your date may eventually become abusive

When involved in a dating relationship, it is important to be aware of certain warning signs that could indicate that your relationship is or might become abusive. Extreme jealousy, explosive anger, controlling behaviors, becoming involved in the relationship quickly, and alcohol or drug use are all warning signs that your partner might become abusive. Other warning signs include your partner isolating you from friends and family, using force during an argument, owning or using weapons, and refusal to let you end the relationship.

21Warning SignsVerbally abusive (calls you names)

Verbal put downs about you or family

Blames you when he or she treats you badly (its your fault they act the way they do)

Does not take responsibility for their own behavior

Tells you who to talk to, what to wear, where you can go and who you can hang out with

Verbal abuse is another indicator that the relationship you are in is or could become abusive. Verbal abuse includes name calling and verbal put downs towards you or any of your family members. If your partner does not take responsibility for their own behavior and instead blames you when they treat you badly, insisting it is your fault they act the way they do, that too is a warning sign. Telling you who you can talk to, what you can or can not wear, and who you can be friends with are also warning signs that your relationship is or might become abusive.

22What can I do if I feel my dating relationship is or may become abusive:

Trust your instinctsSeek out a trusted adult (always best to inform a parent/guardian)Call the police if you are alone w/the person and they are physically abusiveInform the SRO, principal or counselor at your schoolWhat should I do?

If you believe you are in a dating relationship or worry that the relationship you are in might become abusive there are people out there that can help. Trust your instincts!! Talk to an adult that you are comfortable with and trust. Talk with your school counselor, principal, or SRO. It is always a good idea to inform and talk with your parents/guardians. If you are alone with your partner and they are physically abusive, call the police.

23Dont ignore it, talk with your friendExpress your concerns, provide support-dont judgeEncourage friend to confide in a trusted adultNever put yourself in the middle of a dangerous situation. Call 911 if you witness an assault. If you suspect abuse, tell a trusted adult (school counselor, SRO, principal)Helping a FriendWhat should you do if you know someone in an abusive relationship?

If you know someone who you believe is in an abusive relationship, dont ignore it, talk with your friend. Express your concerns and provide support to your friend. Do not judge them! Encourage your friend to confide in a trusted adult to talk about whats going on. NEVER put yourself in the middle of a dangerous situation! If you witness an assault, call 911. If you suspect someone you know is being abused, tell a trusted adult such as a counselor, the school SRO, or the principal.

24Things to Remember about Dating

Works best w/parental involvement

Not designed to be a permanent

A time of getting to know someone and have safe fun

Should be a relationship of mutual RESPECT

Dating can be done in a safe and a healthy way! Remember that it is helpful when your parents know about your dating relationship. And remember that dating is not designed to be permanent! It is a time to get to know someone and have safe fun!! And most importantly it should be a relationship of mutual respect!! 25I have the right to.Be treated with respect alwaysMy body, thoughts, opinions, and propertyChoose and keep my friendsChange my mind at any timeNot be abused-physically, emotionally, or sexuallyLeave a relationshipSay noBe treated as an equalTo disagreeTo live without fear YOU have the right to be RESPECTED in every RELATIONSHIP!

You have the right to be respected in every relationship! As individuals, we have the right to be treated with respect; the right to our bodies, thoughts, opinions, property; to choose and keep our friends; to change our minds; to not be abused-physically, emotionally, or sexually; to leave a relationship if we want; to say NO; to be treated equally, to disagree; and to live without fear.26Helpful resources: (to report or get advice about teen dating violence)DHS.CaresAbout.Us (its reserved just for you)www.txssc.txstate.edu/healthyteendating.orgNational Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)1-866-SAFEYOUTH (1-866-723-3968)Friends of the Family 1-800- 572-4031School counselors and staff

Helpful ResourcesTO REPORT OR GET ADVICE ABOUT TEEN DATING VIOLENCE

If you need more advice about Teen Dating Violence, there are many helpful resources out there to help! Many websites and phone hotlines exist for victims of abuse as well as those concerned about someone they know. Choosetocare.com is a website that students can access to report teen dating violence (or any situation or circumstance which you have serious concerns about).If you would like more information on the hotlines listed or have any questions or concerns about the resources available to you, please contact your counselor for additional information.27DHS.CaresAbout.Us (Please click on picture below.)Anonymous Reporting System for DHS Students

Denton ISD Counseling DepartmentFriends of the FamilyNational Domestic Violence Hot LineHealthy Teen Dating (txssc.txstate.edu)

SAFE Dating = Healthy DatingAcknowledgements

Remember that SAFE dating equals HEALTHY Dating!!29