u Issomeoneyouknowbeingcontrolledintheirrelationship?

u Doestheirpartnerputthemdown,tellthemwhattodoandhumiliatetheminfrontofothers?

u Areyouseeinglessandlessofyourfriend?Istheirpartnernotlettingthemseeyou?

u Doesyourfriendmakeexcusesfortheirpartner’sbehavior?

u Aretheybeingphysicallyhurt?

Graphic design courtesy of Swedish Medical Center che-05-05732 5/06

You Can Help aLoved One WhoIs Being Hurt

If any of these are happening, you can help…

King County CoalitionAgainst Domestic Violence

(206) 568-5454www.kccadv.org

Believe the person who is being hurt in their relationship.• Letthemknowthattheyarenottoblame

forwhatishappening.

• Offersuggestionsandideas,notopinions.Don’ttrytomakedecisionsforyourfriend.

• Youmaynotalwaysagreewiththedecisionstheyhavemade,butit’simportantnottojudge.

• Validatetheirfeelings.

• Listenandbesupportive.Betherewhenyouareneeded.

• Rememberthatchangetakestime,andyourfriendisfacinghardchoices.Iftheydecidetoleave,itmaybealongprocess.

What can you do or say to help?Here is what you can do…

• Ifsomeoneisinimmediatedanger,call911.

• Helpyourfriendmakeaplantostaysafeandkeeptheirkidssafe.

• Givethemahotlinenumberandencouragethemtocalltogetmoreinformation.

• Talktoyourfriendaboutyourconcernsinprivate.

• Offertohelpwithtransportation,groceriesorchildcare.

• Ifyourfriendisabusive,thehotlinecanhelpthemtoo.

Here is what you can say…

• “Icareaboutyouandyourfamily.Idon’twanttoseeyouhurtphysicallyoremotionally.”

• “Inarelationshipwherethereisviolence,itrarelystopswithouthelp.”

• “Youarenotalone,thishappenstoalotofpeople.”

• “It’snotyourfault.Nothingyouhavedoneisanexcuseforviolence.”

Remember to take care of yourself.

Youmaynotalwaysbeabletobethereforyourfriendoryourfamilymemberwhentheyareincrisis.It’sOKtosetyourownboundariesforwhatyoucanorcannothandle.

Hotlinescanhelpyoutoo.Calltogetinfor-mationandsupport.

Beawarethatconfrontingtheabusiveorcon-trollingpersonmayberisky.Callthehotlinetotalkaboutsafetyissues.

Remindyourselfthatyouaredoingtherightthingbyreachingout,evenifitishard.

What else can you do to take action against domestic violence?• Learnmoreaboutdomesticviolence.

ReadbooksandlookontheInternetforinformation.

• Volunteerforordonatemoneytoadomesticviolenceagency.

• JointheKingCountyCoalitionAgainstDomesticViolence.

D o m e s t i c v i o l e n c e i s e v e R y o n e ’ s B u s i n e s s . R e a c h o u t a n D g e t i n v o l v e D .

For immediate assistance, call the Washington state Domestic violence hotline at 1-800-562-6025.

For more information, contact the King county coalition against Domestic violence at (206) 568-5454 or visit www.kccadv.org