idaho supreme effective communication at wk 10-24
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Effective Communication at Work:Achieving Results & Enhancing Relationships
With Dr. Janet Mills
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A good example of a bad example
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People have memoriesand mouths
People happy with you
People unhappy with you
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Three stages of interaction
1. Greeting
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Three stages of interaction
3. Parting
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4 Things people want from YOU
1. Attention
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4 Things people want from YOU
2. Acceptance
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4 Things people want from YOU
3. Assertion
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4 Things people want from YOU
4. Appreciation
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1. Attention
S = face person SQUARELY
O = Adopt an OPENposture
L = LEANforward slightly
E = Maintain EYE CONTACT
R = RELAX
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1. Attention
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Lousy listeners
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1. AttentionVerbal Following
Mary was a sensible and giddy young lady, wise and
silly beyond compare. She was a slight and small
creature, yet so large that everyone who knew her
loved her. She felt rather lonely, because she lived in a
Town with no other houses or people for milesaround.
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1. AttentionMulti-channel Nonverbal Following
Percent of impact in face-to-face comm:
Verbal = 8%
Facial = 54%
Vocal = 38%
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1. AttentionMulti-channel Nonverbal Following
Posture, posture shifts Body movement Body orientation
Interpersonal distance Gestures Facial displays
Eye/looking behaviors Voice (vocalics) Dress
Physical appearance Touch (tactile) Object communication
Odor (olfactory) Breathing patterns BMIRS: behavioral
manifestations of internal
states
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1. AttentionBack-channeling
VocalizationsHead nodding
Gestures
Facial expressionEye contact
Questions
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2. Acceptance
Affirm the Nature of the Relationship
Hierarchical indicators Whos up? Down?
Immediacy indicators How close or far?
Basic respect I see you
Earned respect High esteem
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2. AcceptanceDeveloping and Maintaining Rapport
Posture echo
Vocal echo
Interaction synchrony
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2. AcceptanceResponding Verbally to Accept Messages
Paraphrase ideas
Paraphrase feelings
Express empathy
Prompt and probe
Summarize
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Defensiveness
The NUMBER ONE PROBLEM in
communication at work
Defensiveness arises
when we feel:
Threatened
Attacked
Punished
Unjustly accused
When defensive we are
likely to experience:
Emotional agitation
Estrangement
Confusion
Aggressive and/or
passive impulses
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Defensiveness
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3. Assertive & supportive
communication
Focus on problems Not people
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3. Assertive & supportive
communication
Be congruent Not incongruent
Ver
Verbal
comm
Nonverbal
comm
Thoughts
& feelings
Match these!
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3. Assertive & supportive
communication
Be descriptive Not evaluative
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3. Assertive & supportive
communication
Be specific Not global
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3. Assertive & supportive
communication
Be conjunctive Not disjunctive
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3. Assertive & supportive
communicationOwn your Dont
Deny what youve said
Blame others for what youdid
Stuff your feelings
Ignore what you want
Forget your
needs
Statements
ActionsFeelingsWantsNeeds
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3. Assertive & supportive
communication
Make it two-way Not one-way
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Assertive Skill 1: Clear Message FormatUse to:
State a complaint or problem
Request a change of behavior, policy or
procedure
Express hopes, wishes, desires
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Tool 1: Clear Message FormatElements:
Describe
Interpret
Express/Own
Consequences
Intentions
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Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is
ON TARGET
Use: To respond non-defensively to
feedback that is accurate and true
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Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is
ON TARGETElements:
Listen actively
Acknowledge your error or fault
Seek more information
Create plan for positive action
Appreciate the other
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Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is
OFF TARGET
Use: To respond non-defensively tofeedback that is inaccurate or untrue
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Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is
OFF TARGETElements:
Listen actively
Fog the criticism
Assert
Appreciate
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4. Appreciation
Forms of appreciation
hank Praise Rewardompliment Commend pprove
Recognize alue Noticetick up for Refer Recommend
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Dr. Janet Mills