It was one of the last days of autumn, when I happily answered the phone, having just come home from the doctor, who had confirmed my unborn baby's health. Ray hadn't called the last few days, so I expected it to be him.But it wasn't. Instead it was a cold, clinical voice, shattering my happiness with just a few words.

"When did that happen?" "And when will he be returned home so I can see him?" "Thank you, Sir."

As soon as the call was ended I had to sit down, totally in shock. Staring into the room with unseeing eyes I asked myself why fate always seemed out to get me. I mean being in the military myself I knew the risks, but for some reason one always thinks that bad things would only happen to the others. Maybe my husband is one of those others.But then again it could have been worse.

His injuries were very grave and for a good while the doctors weren't sure if he would be able to make it. But then again he had been one of the lucky ones, most of his comrades were dead after all. And Ray was a fighter. During the operations he had to have for his injuries the doctors lost him once or twice, but he always fought death and survived in the end.

I spend my days next to his bed, hoping that he would get better, that there was still something of the man I loved left. Both the doctors and his superiors had already informed me that his military career was over and he'd get a veteran's pension, but money wasn't what I was worried about.The military had been the very center of his life, just like it was for me. How would he be able to cope without it? Would my love be enough to keep him stable?I hope so. And I also hope that the child growing in me will do it's part in giving him happiness again.

Slowly, but surely Ray got better. He wasn't yet able to walk again, but he was at least awake and on the way back to his old self. The first day after he was allowed to leave he hospital and was back home with me he cuddled me close on the bed and whispered in my ear: "I'm so glad I still have you, my angel. I'd be lost without you." Then he carefully touched my belly and asked: "When did this happen?"I explained it all to him. How I had found out that I was pregnant right on the day he left, how I had never found the perfect moment to tell him and how soon we would have a child to complete our family.

Ray was overjoyed by the news and instantly pulled me into a kiss. He then confided in me that this was one of the things he had feared during the long, lonesome hours in the hospital, while he had nothing but his fears for company. He had been afraid that after his injuries he'd never be able to have children with me, that he'd never be able to fullfill our dream.

The knowledge that we'd soon be parents gave him an unbelievable boost. It wasn't long until he could get up from the bed and actually learn how to walk again. He spend almost all of his waking hours training, wanting to get back on his own two feet before our son or daughter arrived. The doctors were surprised by his progress, never having believed that he would be able to walk again so soon. But he managed. For me, for himself and for our child.

It was late one evening, not long after Ray had learned how to walk again, when I started having contractions suddenly. I screamed for my husband who had already gone to bed a few minutes earlier. He heard my distress and was immediately by my side. We wanted to go to the hospital so I could give birth there, but there simply wasn't time, so I delivered our first child right in the middle of our living room.

Ray was overjoyed when he first laid eyes on his newborn son. We named him Joe, because the military was still what we lived for and he would be our little G.I. Joe. Our son truly shows that he is the child of our love, having inherited Raymond's hair color and my eyes. He really couldn't be any more perfect.

Just a few days after our son had been born Joe found an article in the paper that made him fume in anger and throw the paper away before he had even fully read it. Our state had decided that they needed to cut their expenses and that the best way to do that would be to lower the pensions of all army veterans. Like I said before, it wasn't about the money for Ray. He was simply enraged that politicians, who had never even seen real war from up close, would deem what he and others had sacrificed so worthless.

Ray spend the rest of that day on the computer, which was very unusual for him. Generally I had to force him to even check his emails and yet there he was, sending mails and writing on forums. If I hadn't been busy with taking care of Joe I would have asked him what had caused the sudden change in him, but between a screaming baby and stinky diapers I simply didn't have the time.

Asking wasn't necessary anyway, because that very same day, just after I had brought Joe to bed, Ray approached me. He said that he needed to tell me something important, something he wanted to do but needed my blessing for. Since I didn't want to wake up our son we went to the kitchen and talked over dinner.

"Honey," he said to me. "I know you haven't read the article this morning, but it was a shame. This country is going downhills instead of up. The only thing politicians care about anymore are their own pockets."I nodded, because being in the military I had enough contact with politicians to know that he was simply telling the truth."I want to change it!" His voice held conviction as the words rushed from his mouth.I stopped eating for a moment and looked at him without comprehension.

"I want to be a part of the political circus. Become part of the town council and the senate later, try to change something, you know. I've already found a small veteran party that would love to have me as their voice. But I will only do it if you are ok with that."My dream had always been that we'd be a small happy military family with a son that would one day move up the ranks just like we had. But Ray's injury had made that dream impossible, so who was I to say no to his new dream? So the only thing left for me to do was grab his hand on the table and nod with a soft smile on my face.

Who would have though it, but Ray was quite the natural politician. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't spend all his life sweet-talking everyone that could further his career, but he easily won not only the people's, but also other politician's trust. The contacts he had made with high-ranking military officers probably also helped and so he easily climbed up the steep ladder to political fame. He had made the experience that the best deals could often be made during a game, so friday poker nights with politicians and other people of importance became a regular occurence.

We probably couldn't have managed Joe and our careers if it hadn't been for trustworthy Calista. If you still remember I am a general, a job you can't just quit because you have a little baby at home, since there are always National Security issues to be taken care of. So it would have been the logical choice for Ray to stay at home and forget about his political career, which we didn't want to do either. And that's where Calista comes into play. She is a lonely old lady without grandkids living not too far from our own home. She gladly takes care of her 'borrowed' grandchild for a few hours, allowing both me and Ray to live our dreams.

The little ones grow up so fast. Before we had fully realized it the first year had passed and Joe had grown into an attentive and smart toddler. The freckles, he seemed to have inherited from me, also made their first appearance now that he was a little older.

I tried to spend every minute I was at home with my son, wanting to make sure that he would become a well rounded and good soldier later. I even taught him how to march...or at least tried to. It is probably a little hard to keep a proper marching rhythm if you have to pay attention to every step because you aren't that steady on your feet yet.

Ray also did his part in raising our son, although he was more responsible for the fun parts of his education. I was a bit doubtful how knowing how to ride would benefit a future soldier, but Raymond just smiled at me with the sweet smile I could never say no to and told me that back in old times the soldiers on horseback had been very important. It wasn't a very valid argument, but I left him to it anyway.

Joe has brought many changes to our lives, but what still hasn't changed is the frequency of breaking sanitary equipment in our household. I wonder if this is still due to all the manipulations that Clem did or if there is someone new sabotaging our stuff. Maybe my parents have found out that they have a grandchild and are mad that I didn't inform them? I will have to ask my friend if I ever see him again.

I think Joe might become a great pilot one day. He already knows how to handle a rocket after all. I could watch him play with it for hours, it's so sweet.

Time passes far too quickly, while life is good. I can still remember the birthdays when Joe was still too small to blow out the candles on his own cake and then suddenly...

...he had grown into a big boy, who was already set to start school soon.

We also tried everything in our power to give Joe a sibling, so he wouldn't have to grow up alone, but I just didn't get pregnant again. Maybe it was due to Ray's injury or maybe my own body just didn't want to carry another child, I don't know. We discussed adoption for a while, but in the end we decided that we had Joe and would simply give him the love he himself deserved and the love we would have had for his sibling on top of that.

I think Joe wasn't sad about not having any siblings. He has so many other things that keep him occupied and that he loves to do. His favorite plaything, right from the moment he got it, is his toy helicopter. As soon as he wakes up in the morning he will get it and let it fly around the whole house, making enough of a racket to wake me and Ray up every time. I think he'll really be a pilot one day.

There are other things he likes to do though, that don't fill me with the same enthusiasm as his passion for flying. Joe also loves to sit in front of the tv and eat chips while watching cartoons for hours on end. That didn't worry me at first, but then I met some of his friends from school and I have to say that they are simply fat. Now I fear that he will suffer the same fate if I don't take the necessary countermeasures. He is still too young to understand it, but being a pilot is absolutely out of the question if he isn't fit enough and I don't want his dream to be over before it has even begun.

Joe was very enthusiastic about his training at first. He especially loved to jump rope. I always supervised his progress, internally smiling at how good he was doing, while I tried to keep my stern outer facade.

Ray was also very enthusiastic about the possibility of Joe becoming a pilot, because he himself had also wanted to, but never got the chance. He did his part in preparing our son for his future by telling him everything that there was to know about planes. I'm very glad that my beloved husband did that, because even though I am a general the airforce had never been my speciality.

Joe often brought home friends from school which I generally didn't have something against. I say generally because I definitely didn't agree with him bringing home girls all the time that taught him how to play girlish games. I know you might say: But you were I girl once too. That is a point I can not argue. But I was always more of a tomboy and interested in sports more than pretty girl toys. And I think so should be my boy.

I am sure that some day in the future, when he is a successfull general just like me he will understand why I worked him as hard as I currently do. At the moment he doesn't though. He tries to get away from my training units as often as possible.

What worries me a great bit is that Joe likes to break my rules whenever possible. I forbade him to jump on his bed only a few days ago and yet today, when I returned home from work I found him doing exactly the thing I had forbidden. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing it wrong, if I'm too stern or maybe not stern enough when it comes to his education. I just want to do everything right and do the best for him.

I'm sure Ray would have helped me with Joe a bit more had he not been busy with the election. But things were going so well for him and he actually had a realistic chance to become major, so I didn't want to bother him with my worries. There was still a little time until Joe would hit puberty after all.

Holding my tongue payed off in the end because Ray won the election. The other candidates didn't stand a chance at all. I was so very proud of my husband when he came home for a short visit after his triumph, the helicopter waiting outside to once again carry him away to all the meetings and celebrations he had to attend.

I hadn't talked to Ray about Joe, but there were of course other people I know and trust, whom I asked for advice. We were still regularly holding a poker night every friday and one day I made sure that it was a ladies only night. Geraldine, who supported my husband during the election, my good friend and fellow general Joanna and of course or trusty neighbor Calista did have some good advice for me. Which I vowed to follow in the future.

I took my friends advice very seriously. Just like they had told me I tried to use less pressure and make the training more fun instead.

And even though I never expected it to work Ray not only got better and better at avoiding my attacks, which was the whole point of his training, but also had a good amount of fun. Sometimes he even asked me if we couldn't just train a bit longer, although his bedtime was already drawing close.

Even his friend Edith, whom I had disliked when he had first brought her home, became a part of our training exercises. Her cheering him on helped with target practice, so who was I to say no?

As I have mentioned before: Time flies, when everything is going well. It is once again Joe's birthday and a special one at that. No matter how much I want him to remain my little boy soldier, after today he will be a young man on his way to adulthood.

His training was going well lately and if he keeps up the good work I'm sure he'll get a spot at the military boarding school I applied him for. But first things first.If everything works out the way I planned this will be my last blog entry. I have everything I wanted in life: a great career, a loving husband and a wonderful son. Time to pass the torch, I think. I will give the password to this blog to my son as a birthday present and hope he'll continue what I started.

So, good bye for now, my dear readers. I hope you'll be hearing from Joe soon.