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I Do … AgainThe Renewable

Marriage

N E W Y O R K

Lee M. Shulman, Ph.D.

Joyce Shulman, Ph.D.

Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D.

The 30-Day Renewable ContractKeeping Marriages Alive, Romantic, and Successful

Worthy Shorts™ special edition © 2009 by Lee M. Shulman, Ph.D., Joyce Shulman, Ph.D., Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D.

Design and organizing elements copyright © 2009 by Worthy Shorts.™ Sale of this imprint or design, except by Worthy Shorts or its agents, is prohibited.

Original edition fi rst published by InfoBooks Publishing Company, PO Box 1018, Santa Monica, CA 90406 [email protected].

Published by Worthy Shorts™

The On-Line Private Press for Professionals

ISBN 978-1-935340-12-6WS119

Worthy Shorts™ is a trademark.

Print version manufactured in the United States of America

For more information, visitwww.WorthyShorts.com

We dedicate this book toeach other, and to our families, our clients,

and our teachers in life.Lee and Joyce

I dedicate this little book toall who struggle in your personal relationships.

I hope this is a useful tool for you. Gerald

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WelcomeWelcome to our conversation. We’re not sitting in the same room with you. That’s true. Nevertheless, through the pages of this little book, we — you and us — will engage in a conversation. We’ll be presenting our thoughts, through the words on the page. And you will be the other side of the conversation, through the same pages.

This is a book about relationships. It presents a program that is easy to use and will help make your relationships more successful. We focus here on the marriage relationship. However, the program, with only minor adjustments will work with any relationship, including long-term friendships and business relationships.

We’ll take you through the process of exactly how we saw the need for something new and special to help us make our new marriage successful. Then we’ll take you through — step-by-step — how we went about creating it.

RelationshipsPeople want and need relationships. We, quite literally, cannot live without them. We enter into, and continue, relationships every day — we have marriages, love relationships, business relationships, friendships, social interactions.

I Do … AgainThe Renewable Marriage

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I Do … Again

The most personally demanding and simultaneously the most rewarding relationship is marriage, or a long-term love relationship.

Love WorksLove relationships can work. And this is the fi rst book to offer concrete guidelines and proven, effective techniques for making them work. This is not a Pollyanna book that offers syrupy band-aids to quick-fi x some of the most heartbreaking misery people are likely to endure in their search for happiness.

Our program goes beyond the view that males and females are, by their nature and always will be, antagonists. We do not see the relationship as a constantly draining, haggling experience where partners are expected to compromise and give up half of who they are to form a new entity called the couple. This brings up the image of a fi erce, mythological two-headed dragon bound together at its loins with both of it’s heads swaying and swinging and snapping, trying to infl ict a mortal bite to the other neck.

A New View of the Love RelationshipWe see the relationship as a fully cooperative experience where both participants not only remain 100% who they are but are encouraged to grow and become everything they can be. We see the relationship as a loving, protective environment within which two fully realized human beings are not only allowed to exist but are encouraged and supported in their life-long effort to be all they can be.

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About the Authors

Lee M. Shulman, Ph.D. and Joyce Shulman, Ph.D.

Lee M. Shulman, Ph.D. and Joyce Shulman, Ph.D., two of the coauthors of this book, are currently in Private Practice in the Los Angeles area. They each have many years of experience of helping people and organizations work through the challenges of relationships. They work toward helping clients accomplish their goals both in person and on the telephone.

As a Seminar Leader for the American Management Association, Lee taught “Working With and Through People” and “Developing Interviewing Skills.”

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As a consultant to Corporations, ESOP’s (Employee Self Ownership Programs), and Small Businesses coast to coast he has solved problems, avoided strikes, exposed and eliminated sabotage, and replaced an entire workforce to contribute to successful outcomes for these organizations.

As a member of the Advisory Committee to the National Board of Medical Examiners, he helped establish new guidelines for the selection of medical students nationwide. He is a Past President of the Detroit Junior Chamber of Commerce (Jaycees) and was selected as one of the Ten Outstanding Men of the Year.

Over the years both Lee and Joyce have contributed their communication and leadership skills in providing and promoting community service. They are currently training the volunteers at Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital combining therapeutic intervention with community service. They both serve on the

Board of Directors of the Palm Springs Police Department Aero Squadron, and are Past Directors of Angel Flight West providing transportation for medical treatment.

Both Lee and Joyce are Private Pilots and have been extremely successful in helping individuals overcome the fear of fl ying and other major fears and phobias.

In their Private Practice they do relationship therapy and counseling together and separately. They each do Executive Coaching and Life Coaching. They use many techniques and methods: Teaching Effective Communication, Working toward Setting goals and Solving problems, Maximizing Strengths,

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Clarifying and Prioritizing Values, Building Personal Self-esteem, and Teaching how to bring joy and fun into relationships.

When Lee and Joyce considered entering into what was for each of them a second marriage they decided they had to create some special technique, some special tool, that would help them live a continuing courtship as opposed to a routine marriage.

From a deep love for each other and a fi rm desire to make their new marriage succeed, they created a unique method of continuing renewal; employing passion, happiness, communication, joy, mutual respect, and love. They re-create their relationship every thirty days. And they continue to teach others how to do that.

This is a book born from the 40-year love relationship of Lee M. Shulman, Ph.D. and Joyce Shulman, Ph.D., in which they built day by day, brick bybrick, stone by stone, conversation by conversation, word by loving word, a beautiful, powerful castle of a relationship within which their love for each other fl ourishes and fl ows.

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Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D. The third coauthor, Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D. is a Communication Psychologist. Through his books and training and counseling programs, he has helped thousands — individuals, couples, families, business executives – to improve their lives by improving their communication and decision-making skills.

Gerald has worked as an Executive Life Coach in the Los Angeles area for the past twenty years, establishing a pro-active relationship with his clients. He is a Master Certifi ed Coach with the International Coaching Federation. And pro-active means exactly that. He spends time in the work environment of each of his clients, from going on the road with a rock band to going on runs on a fi re truck. His clients are national-wide and he does phone and on-site work as circumstances require.

Gerald uses all his personal and professional experience in his client work. From the leadership

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principles he learned in the Marine Corps, to management experience as a Vice President in the Prentice-Hall publishing conglomerate, to running his own publishing company (InfoBooks), to his studies and work in psychology — he brings it all to the table for each client. He is also currently the Public Education Offi cer for the Southern California District of the Coast Guard Auxiliary.

Gerald ‘s clients range from individuals to corporations with world-wide offi ces; from celebrity clients in the entertainment world to corporate executives expanding their careers. Individual clients expect and deserve and receive the protection of confi dentiality. Occasionally a client, such as the rock drummer Tommy Lee, is so excited about the work he does with Gerald that the client tells the world about the relationship; as Tommy Lee did in is his biography: Tommy Land.

In a recent TV appearance on the Ellen Degeneres Show Mr. Lee told her that: “Gerald helps me bring perspective into my crazy life. He helps me think out problems clearly and make better decisions.”

Gerald created a unique program he calls Communication Profi les. He believes we each communicate in a way that is best suited for us. His Profi les create a 3-dimensional view of your unique communication style. He then shows you how to best work with your style to help you get what you want in your personal and professional lives. Gerald also teaches you how to identify the unique communication profi les of the people you interact with and how to best work with their styles for successful communication.

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Gerald describes it this way: “Everything we do, every dollar we earn, and most of the moments of joy and anguish will come from – through – by – and with other people. And it will all happen through the medium of communication. If you want success in your life you must fi rst be successful at communication.” All his client work begins with a client’s Communication Profi le.

Corporate Clients (partial list) Apple ComputerBritish PetroleumMcGraw-Hill Publishing CompanyJohn Wiley & Sons PublishingDigital Communications Corporation (DEC)Merrill Lynch InvestmentsSemantec CorporationPrentice-Hall PublishingUnited AirlinesArthur Andersen & CompanyCity of Santa Monica, CAClient Comments (partial list) “Dr. Rafferty brings solid clear thinking to every

level of the work place.” S.J., Apple Computer“You don’t even know you’re learning when you’re

with Dr. Rafferty, but you are learning — a lot and all the time. B.M., V.P. Arthur Andersen & Co.

“Dr. Rafferty exceeds every expectation you ever have of him and his wonderful work.” M.W. V.P. Design, Prentice-Hall Publishing, Inc.

“Dr. Rafferty beings back the original enthusiasm and joy you had when you started working and learning

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and living.” S.B., V.P. United Airlines.“Expectations are always exceeded with Dr.

Rafferty. He always gives his best and he brings out the best in you.” G.J., Dir. Of Operations, Digital Communications Corporation.

“Dr. Rafferty always delivers more than you asked for and gets you to do more than you thought you could. Sales increased by 27% in two months.” J.N., Dir of Investor Services, Merrill Lynch Investments.

“Dr. Rafferty solved a major personnel problem in our company that we all thought would be our downfall.” G.G. Art Director, Computer Designs, Inc.

Gerald brings over twenty-fi ve years experience as a communicator, writer, seminar leader, and counselor to the book. Gerald is helping to create and conduct the bimonthly workshops and his special task is to help create the content of the book and turn the Shulman’s work into a readable and effective tool.

This same three-author team wrote the currently successful book on subliminal learning: Subliminal: The New Channel to Personal Power.

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Author Publishing Credits and Appearances

Lee M. Shulman , Ph.D. and Joyce Shulman, Ph.D.

PUBLISHED:

When To See A Psychologist 1970 Nash Publishing, with co-author, Joan Kennedy Taylor

Subliminal: The New Channel to Personal Power1990 InfoBooks, with co-author, Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D

Subliminals: The Next Generation1989 Alphasonics, with co-author, Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D

I Do . . . Again — The 30-Day Renewable ContractWith co-author, Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D. (Release to be announced)

TELEVISION APPEARANCES:

Merv Griffi n ShowWalk on fi re to demonstrate the ability of the mind

Eye on LAEffect of Light and Sound on the Brain

ABC SpecialHypnosis and overcoming allergies

NBC – Starting OverEnergy Therapy – Overcoming a phobia of fl ying

NBC SpecialFears and Phobias, New methods of overcoming Fear, Anxiety, and Long-standing Phobias

CABLE TV

Health Connection: I Do Again — Romantic RelationshipsA one-hour program on Subliminal TapesMind Over Matter with William SchallertFrom the Heart – Alcoholism and the Effects on FamilyLife Coaching and Executive Coaching, Psychology & Health

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RADIO APPEARANCES:

New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, Detroit

Topics: Psychology, Romantic Relationships, Self-esteem, Health, Humor, Fears and Phobias, Visualization, Meditation, Energy Therapy, Executive Coaching, Life Coaching, Working with Chief Executive Offi cers, Management consulting, Interviewing for success, Subliminal Tapes and their effect on performance and habits.

SPEECHES AND OTHER APPEARANCES:

University of Michigan, New York University, Wayne State University,

Claremont Colleges, McGill University, University of Hawaii,

American Psychological Association, Future of Freedom Conferences, Libertarian Party Programs, Royal Cruise Line, Princess Cruise Line, Holland America Line, Norwegian Cruise Line, and many Workshops & Seminars in the United States, Canada and Mexico

Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D.

WRITING AND PUBLISHING:

The Eight Book Series on Successful Communication Published 1998 by InfoBooks, Santa Monica, CA.

A Feelings Dictionary

Basic Principles of Successful Communication

Romance and Gender Differences: and Successful Communication

Intimacy, Change, and Confl ict: and Successful Communication

Nonverbal Patterns: and Successful Communication

Emotions and Trust: and Successful Communication

Basic Skills: of Successful Communication

Self-Disclosure: and Successful Communication

Communication Profi les: Discovering and Working with Communication Styles

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Published 2007 by InfoBooks, Santa Monica, CA

The Secret Word that WILL Change your LifePublished 2007 by InfoBooks, Santa Monica, CA

Subliminal: The New Channel to Personal Power - 1990 InfoBooks, coauthored with Lee M. Shulman , Ph.D. and Joyce Shulman, Ph.D.

Subliminal: The Next Generation - 1989 Alphasonics, coauthored with Lee M. Shulman , Ph.D. and Joyce Shulman, Ph.D.

I Do . . . Again – The 30-Day Renewable ContractWith co-author, Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D. (Release to be announced)

Laser Printers in the Publishing Offi ce - 1987 InfoBooks.

Publishing Is Every Consultant’s Second Business: A Workbook and Tape Seminar - 1987 InfoBooks.

How To Be a Computer Book Author - 1986 InfoBooks.

Desk Top Publishing: New Frontiers - 1986 Xerox Corporation.

Books ‘n Things: A Newspaper Column that ran for three years in the Los Gatos Times.

The Investor: A Monthly Newsletter on Finance that ran for two years to a special subscription audience.

APPEARANCES:

Seminar for business consultants. Presenting them with opportunities within the publishing environment.

Seminar for editors. Presenting the skills of editing to people already working in publishing.

Seminar for editors. How to create a complete book Index.

Seminar for editors. Basic communications skills: Working with authors.

Seminar for editors. Basic communications skills: Translating theinformation for the reader.

Cable TV: Round table workshop - Using communication skills within the publishing industry.

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RADIO PROGRAMS:

Santa Monica, CA. Created a radio program: Embracing Change

Boston, MA. Interviewed as Expert in Business Communications

San Francisco, CA. Interviewed as Expert in Interpersonal Communications

BOOKS PUBLISHED:

The Successful Communication Series

Subliminal: The New Channel to Personal Power

The Writer’s Pocket Almanac

The Tao of Programming

The Zen of Programming

Computer Parables

Your Best Interest: A Guide to Making and Using Money.

Under the Apple: Guide to Macintosh Software

The Complete Macintosh Sourcebook: Guide to Macintosh Associated Hardware

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Author Contact Information

Lee M. Shulman, Ph.D.Private PracticePhone: (661) 263-2680 Cell: (661) 993-514727463 Hillcrest PlaceValencia, CA [email protected] Joyce Shulman, Ph.D.Private PracticePhone: (661) 263-2680Cell: (661) 993-514827463 Hillcrest PlaceValencia, CA [email protected] Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D.Phone: (310) 394-4102Phone: (800) 669-0409Communication Profi lesPO Box 1018Santa Monica, Ca [email protected]

This is a Worthy Shorts keepsake. It is designed to preserve words and images of value to its

author. We honor its intent with the Chinese character for “preserve,” a word picture whose

origin is in itself more than 3,000 years old.

This book is typeset in Electra LT Std

by Adobe Systems.

i do … againcreating the 30-day renewal format | 25 frequency | 25 your personal schedule | 26...

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