I Can’t, I’ll Try, I Will

Positive Vocabulary

Objective:

To understand how using ‘I Will’ sets one up for success and using ‘I Can’t’ or ‘I’ll Try’ sets one up for failure.

“Everyone has things they would like to do but

somehow just can’t.”

I can’t keep a job.I can’t keep my room clean.I can’t save money for a car.I can’t get my homework done.I can’t get along with ___.I can’t get a good grade in Mr.

Wilson’s class.

List five things on your handout that you would like to do but can’t.

Changing your Vocabulary

“How does it feel to say sentences that start with “I can’t”?

“What have you done to the number of choices

open to you when you say “I can’t”?

Take the same 5 things on your worksheet and start each sentence with “I choose not to…..”

“Does it sometimes feel uncomfortable to say “I choose not to?”

Yes/No? Why?

Recognizing your choices

“Once you recognize that you do have a choice and you demonstrate that by saying “I choose not to” rather than “I can’t”, YOU are then in a position to make a different choice if you want to.

Two categories of things you CAN’T DO.

1. You can’t change anybody else’s behavior. Individuals themselves are the only ones who are responsible for and can change their behavior.

1. You can’t make someone like or love you.2. You can’t make other people be nice to your friends.

1. There are a few instances where you can’t do something for a physical reason, but these are VERY FEW INDEED.

1. A person 5’2” tall can’t be 6’6”.2. A person in a wheelchair can’t run a 4 minute mile.

Grant me the serenity to

accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the

things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Getting out of the ‘I Can’t’ Trap

Recognize that ‘I can’t’ really means ‘I choose not to’.

Realize that you always have a choice.

Exercise your choice, rank priorities, and achieve what you want.

Volunteer Exercise

“Try to pick up the _________”

“Is there any way _________ can succeed at trying to pick this up?”

“You can do one of two things: you either actually pick it up or you don’t pick it up. There is no way anyone can try to do something.”

Either do it or don’t!

“Can you try to be on time for class?” (NO)

“You are either on time or you are late.”

“Can you try to save money?” (NO)

“You either save money or you don’t save money.”

“Can you try to pay attention in class?” (NO)

“You either pay attention or you don’t.”

“Can you try to graduate from high school?” (NO)

“You either graduate or you don’t.”

“TRY” sets you up to fail & be powerless by :

1. You have a ready excuse for not accomplishing what you set out to do.

2. Because of the ready excuse, you put less energy and effort into it so you usually don’t succeed.

3. You lower your self-esteem because you lack personal integrity by not fulfilling what you said.

Instead of Using ‘Try’…..

Decide; MAKE A CHOICE of whether you are going to do it or not.

MAKE A STATEMENT that indicates your choice. You can start you sentence powerfully .

Instead of “I have to”…”I choose to” Instead of “I can’t”…”I can, I choose to, or I

choose not to” Instead of “I’ll try”…”I will, I choose to, or I

choose not to”