i am good to them while they are bad to me: kinship

Session 3 (2013-14) [on Skype series]

Lecture 55 5 (Feb 18, 2014)

How important is this matter

Al-Quran 4:1(Al-Nisa)

Kinship (Ties with relatives)

(1. O mankind! Have Taqwa of your Lord, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his mate, and from them both He created

many men and women, and have Taqwa of Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and revere the wombs. Surely, Allah is always

watching over you.)

PARADISE OR HELL

Al-Quran 13:21-22 (Ar-Raad) Al-Quran 13:25 (Ar-Raad)

Tafseer Ahsan ul Bayan:

Al-Quran 13:21 (Ar-Raad)

They are good to their relatives and do not sever the bond of kinship. They are also kind to the poor and the needy and generous in nature.

Tafseer Ibn Katheer:

TAFASEER

And those who join that which Allah has commanded to be joined

Al-Quran 2:27(Al-Baqarah)

(27. Those who break Allah's covenant after ratifying it, and sever what Allah has ordered to be joined and do mischief on earth, it is they who

are the losers.)

Sila-e-Rahmi Qata-e-Rahmi

Meanings of Sila Rahmi and Qata Rahmi

Sila is derived from the word Wasl. It means to keep tied or bonded. RAHMI means from Womb. Sila-e-Rehmi means to keep the ties of

womb (relations) bonded that

encompasses all the family

members which are linked

through womb (uterus) meaning Blood Relatives.

Qata-e-Rahmi

means to cut off

the ties of

relationship.

Could there be anyone who would like not to go

to Paradise

Narrated Jubair bin Mut'im:

That he heard the Prophet (pbuh) saying,

"The person who severs the bond of

kinship will not enter Paradise."

Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 13

HADEETH

Who could like Allah to sever his relation with

him

Narrated `Aisha (RA):

The Prophet () said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its name from 'Ar- Rahman' (i.e.

Allah). So whosoever keeps good relations with

it (womb i.e. Kith and kin), Allah will keep good

relations with him, and whosoever will sever it

(i.e. severs his bonds of Kith and kin) Allah too

will sever His relations with him.

Sahih Bukhari 5989

HADEETH

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "Allah created the creation, and when He

finished from His creation the Rahm (womb) got up, and Allah said

(to it),"Stop! What do you want? It said; "At this place I seek

refuge with You from all those who sever me (i.e. sever the ties of

Kinship.)" Allah said: "Would you be pleased that I will keep good

relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, and I

will sever the relation with the one who will sever the relation with

you. It said: 'Yes, 'O my Lord.' Allah said (to it), 'That is for you.''

And then Abu Huraira recited the Verse:-- "Would you then if you

were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your

ties of kinship." (Surah Mohammad 47.22)


HADEETH

Who could wish for the punishment to be

hastened in this world in addition to what is in store for him in the

Hereafter

Abu Bakr narrated that the prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

said:

There are two sins for which the punishment is

hastened in this world in addition to what is in store for

the sinner in the Hereafter: rebellion (against Allah)

and severance (cutting off) of blood relations.

(Abu Dawud and At-Tirmizi)

HADEETH

Abu Bakra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "There is no wrong action more likely to bring punishment in this world in addition to what is stored up in the Next World than oppression and severing ties of

kinship.

Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 29 (Sahih) Al-Albani)

HADEETH

Who wants his provisions to be increased and his

life to be extended

HADEETH

Anas bin Malik related that the prophet Mohammad

(pbuh) said:

Whoever desires that his provisions be increased and

that his life be extended should uphold the ties of

kinship

(Al- Bukhari and Muslim)

Who wants Jannah and to be away from the Fire

HADEETH

Abu Ayyub Khalid bin Zaid Al-Ansari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

A man came to the Messenger of Allah ( )and said, "Direct me to a deed which will admit me to Jannah and take me away from the Fire". The Messenger of Allah ( ) said, "Worship Allah and associate no

partner with Him, perform As-Salat, pay Zakat, and maintain the ties of kinship".

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Abdullah bin Salam said: The Prophet ) ) said: O people! Spread (the

greeting of) Salam, feed others, uphold the ties of kinship, and pray during the night when people are sleeping, and you will enter Paradise with Salam (in

peace).

Ibn Majah (Sahih)

HADEETH

Envy

Competition

Desire to see your kids better than your relatives children

What breaks Kinship ties - Examples

Fights over inheritance issues

Malice

Suspicion, Spying and Backbiting

Asking for monitory help

Too much talk

Making fun of others

Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace be

upon him) said: Avoid envy, for envy devours good

deeds just as fire devours fuel or (he said "grass.")

Sunan Abudawud (Book #41, Hadith #4885)

HADEETH

Competition

Al-Quran 102:1 (Takaasur)

(1. The mutual increase diverts you,) (2. Until you visit the graves.)

Mutarrif bin Abdullah bin Ash-Shikh-khir reported from his father, :

that he went to the Prophet (pbuh) and he was reciting: The mutual rivalry (for piling up worldly

things diverts you. ) (surah Takaasur) He said: The son of Adam says: My wealth, my wealth. And do you

own anything except what you give in charity, such that youve spent it, or what you eat, such that youve finished it, or you wear, such that youve worn it out?

Tirmidhi (sahih)

HADEETH

Desire to see your kids

better than your relatives

children

It was narrated from Anas that : The Messenger of Allah [pbuh)] said: "By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, none of you has believed until he loves for his brother what he

loves for himself of goodness."

Sunan an-Nasa'i 5017 (sahih)

Too much talk

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Whoever believes in

Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest

generously; and whoever believes in Allah and

the Last Day, should unite the bond of kinship

(i.e. keep good relation with his Kith and kin);

and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day,

should talk what is good or keep quite."


HADEETH

Narrated Al-Mughira bin Shu`ba: The Prophet ) ) said, "Allah has forbidden for you, (1)

to be undutiful to your mothers, (2) to bury your daughters alive, (3) to not to pay the rights of the others (e.g. charity, etc.) and (4) to beg of men (begging). And

Allah has hated for you (1) vain, useless talk, or that you talk too much about others, (2) to ask too many

questions, (in disputed religious matters) and (3) to waste the wealth (by extravagance).

Sahih al-Bukhari 2408

HADEETH

Asking for monitory

help

HADEETH

Narrated Hakim bin Hizam: The Prophet (pbuh) said, "The

upper hand is better than the lower hand (i.e. he who gives

in charity is better than him who takes it). One should start

giving first to his dependents. And the best object of

charity is that which is given by a wealthy person (from the

money which is left after his expenses). And whoever

abstains from asking others for some financial help, Allah

will give him and save him from asking others, Allah will

make him self-sufficient."

(Sahih Bukhari Book #24, Hadith #508)

Fights over

inheritance issues

Allah subhana wa tala has fixed the share of all the inheritors. All one needs is to acquire the knowledge of deen and implement it.

Details are mentioned in Surah An-Nisa, Ayaat 11-14

Malice

HADEETH

Anas bin Malik related that the prophet

Mohammad (pbuh) said:

Entertain no ill will, envy or indifference nor

cut off mutual relations. Be servants of

Allah and brothers to each other. It is not

permissible for a Muslim to stay away from

(i.e., not talk to) his (Muslim) brother for

more than three days.


Abu Ayub al-Ansari related that the prophet


It is not permitted for two Muslims who

have had a dispute to keep away from each

other for more than three days. The better

of the two is the one who is the first to

greet the other (thus making reconciliation

likely)


HADEETH

Suspicion,

Spying and

Backbiting

Woe to every backbiter, slanderer

Al-Quran 104:1 (Al-Humazah)

Abu Huraira reported: Allah's Messenger (may peace be

upon him) as saying: Do you know what is backbiting? They

(the Companions) said: Allah and His Messenger know best.

Thereupon he [the Holy Prophet (pbuh)] said: backbiting

implies your talking about your brother in a manner which he

does not like. It was said to him: What is your opinion about

this that if I actually find (that failing) in my brother which I

made a mention of? He said: If (that failing) is actually found

(in him) what you assert, you in fact backbited him, and if

that is not in him it is a slander (tauhmat).

(Sahih Muslim Book #032, Hadith #6265)

HADEETH

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion: for suspicion in some cases is a sin:

And spy not on each other nor backbite others behind their backs. Would any of

you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor itBut fear Allah: For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.

Al-Quran 49:12 (Al-Hujurat)

Anas bin Malik related that the prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

said: On the night of my ascent to Heaven [Al-Mairaj, I

passed by some people who were scratching their faces

and chest with their nails which were made of copper. I

asked Jibreel, Who are they? and he replied, These are the people who used to eat the flesh of other men by

attacking their honor and respect.

(Abu-Dawud)

HADEETH

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Prophet () said, "Allah will cover up on the Day of Resurrection the defects (faults) of the one

who covers up the faults of the others in this world".

[Muslim].

HADEETH

Making fun of others

O you who believe! No people shall laugh at (another) people, it may be

that the (latter) are better than the (former). Nor shall women laugh at

other women, it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former). Do

not find fault with yourself (your own people), nor defame by calling each

other by (offensive) nicknames: Evil is the name of wickedness after faith.

And whosoever does not repent, and then such are indeed wrongdoers.)

Al-Quran 49:11 (Al-Hujurat)

? ? ?

What to do

I am good to

them while they

are bad to me

Different scenarios that lead a person to think

I am good to

them while

they are bad

to me

I am good to them while

they are bad to me

Thats what one

thinks but its not

the reality

Sincere effort to

reconcile despite

of others bad

attitude - RARE

Person believes that

its all anothers fault he has always

been good

Person believes that

its all anothers fault he has always

been good

Narrated Abdullah bin 'Amr:

The Prophet (pbuh)said, "Al-Wasil is not the one

who recompenses the good done to him by his

relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good

relations with those relatives who had severed the

bond of kinship with him.


HADEETH

HADEETH

'Abdullah bin Amr narrated that:

the Prophet said: "Merely maintaining the ties of

kinship is not adequate. But connecting the ties of

kinship is, when his ties to the womb are severed and

he connects it. "

Tirmdhi (sahih)

HADEETH

Abdullah bin Amr related that the prophet


One who reciprocates doing good is not the one who

upholds the ties of kinship. The one who upholds the

ties of kinship is the one who is kind to his relatives

when they are hostile to him

(Al-Bukhari)

The following Ayah was revealed concerning As-Siddiq, may Allah be pleased with him, when he swore that he would not help Mistah bin Uthathah after he said what he said about `A'ishah, [Hadith about story of Ifk (forged statement)]. When Allah revealed the innocence of the Mother of the believers, `A'ishah, and the believers were happy and content with the outcome of this incident, and those believers who had talked about the matter repented, and the prescribed punishment had been carried out upon those on whom it was carried out, then Allah started to soften the heart of As-Siddiq towards his relative Mistah bin Uthathah. Mistah was the cousin of As-Siddiq, the son of his maternal aunt, and he was a poor man with no wealth except whatever Abu Bakr spent on him. He was one of those who had migrated for the sake of Allah. Allah accepted his repentance from that (sin of slander) and the prescribed punishment was carried out on him. (Ref:Tafseer ibn katheer 24:22)

Background of the ayah 22 of surah Noor through which Allah told Abu Bakr (RA) to forgive his cousin and resume the monitory help after he spread the slander about Aishah (RA) targeting her chastity

Example of Abu Bakr (RA)

(22. And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give to their kinsmen, the poor, and those who left their homes for Allah's cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do

you not love that Allah should forgive you And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.)

Al-Quran 24:22 (An-Noor)

Thats what one

thinks but its not

the reality

Sometimes you do good to others but combine it with

some mistakes that nullify the effect of your good act

Do not remind people of your generosity or hurt their feelings

Al-Quran 2:262-263 (Al-Baqarah)

(262. Those who spend their wealth in the cause of Allah, and do not follow up their gifts with reminders of their generosity or with injury, their reward is with

their Lord. On them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.) (263. Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allah is

Rich (free of all needs) and He is Most Forbearing.)

Do not remind people of your generosity

Abu Dharr said that the Messenger of Allah said,

Three persons whom Allah shall neither speak to on the Day of Resurrection nor look at nor purify, and they shall receive a painful

torment: he who reminds (the people) of what he gives away, he who lengthens his

clothes below the ankles and he who swears an oath while lying, to sell his merchandise.

Muslim

HADEETH

Do not make others know of your generosity story (to get admired) that may put down the one whom you did

the favor to

Al-Quran 2:264 (Al-Baqarah)

(264. O you who believe! Do not render in vain your Sadaqah (charity) by reminders of your generosity or by injury, like him who spends his wealth to be seen of men, and he does not

believe in Allah, nor in the Last Day. His likeness is the likeness of a smooth rock on which is a little dust; on it falls heavy rain which leaves it bare. They are not able to do anything with

what they have earned. And Allah does not guide the disbelieving people.)

Keep your intentions pure for Allah subhana watala with no expectations

for favors from others


Purity in intention

272. Not upon you (Muhammad ) is their guidance, but Allah guides whom He wills. And whatever you spend in good, it is for yourselves, when you spend not except seeking Allah's Face. And whatever you spend in good, it will be repaid to you in full, and you shall not be

wronged.

(265. And the parable of those who spend their wealth seeking Allah's pleasure while they in their own selves are sure and certain that Allah will

reward them (for their spending in His cause), is that of a garden on a height; heavy rain falls on it and it doubles its yield of harvest. And if it does not receive heavy rain, light rain suffices it. And Allah is All-Seer

(knows well) of what you do.)


Compare with 2:264


And whatever you spend in good, it is for yourselves, when you spend not except seeking Allah's Face.

Al-Quran 39:2(Al-Zamar)

Its for your own self

(2. Verily, We have sent down the Book to you in truth. So, worship Allah by doing religious deeds sincerely for Him only.)

(17. And those with Taqwa will be far removed from it.) (18. He who gives of his wealth for self-purification.) (19. And who has (in mind) no favor from anyone to be paid back.) (20. Except to seek the Face

of his Lord, the Most High.) (21. He, surely, will be pleased.)

Al-Quran 92:17-21 (Al-Lail)

HADEETH


Its ok to let others know of your charity if the intention is not to show off but there is an apparent wisdom behind disclosing the charity. For example: people might imitate this righteous act.

(271. If you disclose your Sadaqat (almsgiving), it is well; but if you conceal them and give them to the poor, that is BETTER for you. (Allah) will expiate you some of your sins. And Allah is Well-Acquainted with

what you do.)

Spend of the good things which you

have


(267.O you who believe! Spend of the good things which you have (legally) earned, and of that which We have produced from the earth for you, and do not aim at that which is bad to spend from it, (though) you would not accept it save if you close your eyes and tolerate therein. And know that Allah is Rich (free of

all needs), and worthy of all praise.)

Spend of the good things which you have

Sincere effort to

reconcile despite of

others bad attitude -

RARE

Keep it up

Abu Huraira reported that a person said: Allah's Messenger, I have relatives with whom I try to have close relationship, but they sever (this relation). I

treat them well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards me. Upon this he (the

Holy Prophet) said: If it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and there

would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant

over them so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness).

Sahih Muslim 2558 a

HADEETH

Abu Hurayra said, "A man came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said,

'Messenger of Allah! I have relatives with whom I

maintain ties while they cut me off. I am good to them while they are bad to me. They

behave foolishly towards me while I am forbearing towards them.' The Prophet (pbuh) said, 'If things are as you said, it is as if you were putting hot ashes on them and you will not lack a supporter against them

from Allah as long as you continue to do that.'"

Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 52 Sahih (Al-Albani)

HADEETH


(177. It is not Birr that you turn your faces towards east and (or) west; but Birr is the one who believes in Allah, the Last Day, the Angels, the Book, the

Prophets and gives his wealth, in spite of love for it, to the kinsfolk, to the orphans, and to Al-Masakin (the poor), and to the wayfarer, and to those who ask, and to set servants free, performs As-Salah (Iqamat-As-Salah), and gives

the Zakah, and who fulfill their covenant when they make it, and who are patient in extreme poverty and ailment (disease) and at the time of fighting

(during the battles). Such are the people of the truth and they are Al-Muttaqun (the pious).)

Al-Quran 30:38 (Al-Room)

(38. So, give to the kindred his due, and to Al-Miskin and to the wayfarer. That is best for those who seek Allah's Face; and it is

they who will be successful.)


(215. They ask you (O Muhammad ) what they should spend. Say: "Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred and

orphans and Al-Masakin (the poor) and the wayfarer, and whatever you do of good deeds, truly, Allah knows it well.'')

What stops you from spending

where Allah asks you to spend?



But Allah says:

And whatever you spend in good, it is for yourselves, when you spend not except seeking Allah's Face. And whatever you spend in good, it will be repaid to you in full, and you shall

not be wronged.)

(268. Shaytan threatens you with poverty and orders you to commit Fahsha' (evil deeds) whereas Allah promises you forgiveness from Himself and bounty, and Allah is All-Sufficient

for His creatures' needs, All-Knower.)

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (pbuh) said:

Wealth never decreases because of Sadaqah (charity). Allah never increases a

servant who gives in charity except in honor, and whoever is humble for the sake of Allah, Allah will raise him in

status

Muslim

HADEETH

It was narrated from Salman bin 'Amir that the Prophet (pbuh)said:

"Giving charity to a poor person is charity, and (giving) to a relative is two things, charity and

upholding the ties of kinship.

Sunan an Nasai, Sunan ibn Majah (Sahih)

HADEETH

Ibn Masood narrated: When the prophet (pbuh) asked, which one of you loves the property of his heirs more than his own

property ? He was told , O messanger of Allah, no one. So he said, Your property

is that which you send forward (in charity), but that which you hold back

belongs to your heirs.

Al-Bukhari

HADEETH

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger () as saying:

A servant says, My wealth. my wealth, but out of his wealth three things are only his: whatever he eats and

makes use of (which is consumed) or by means of which he dresses himself and it wears out or he gives as charity, and this is what he stored for himself (as a reward for the Hereafter), and what is beyond this (it is of no use to you) because you are to depart and

leave it for other people.

Sahih Muslim 2959 a

HADEETH

EXTRAVAGANCE

Al-Quran 17:26-27 (Bani Israail)

(26. And give to the kinsman his due, and to the Miskin (poor), and to the wayfarer. But spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift.) (27. Verily, the spendthrifts are brothers of the Shayatin (devils), and the Shaytan is ever ungrateful to

his Lord.)

Tabzeer

Tafseer Ahsan ul Bayan 17:26-27 (Bani Israail)

(See back pg for word TABZEER)

Al-Quran 7:31 (Al-Araf)

Asraaf

....and eat and drink, but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah) likes

not the wasteful.

Eat, drink and clothe yourselves without

extravagance or arrogance.

Sahih Bukhari

HADEETH

Al-Quran 6:141 (Al-Anam)

and waste not by extravagance. Verily, He likes not the wasteful.

Narrated Al-Mughira bin Shu`ba: The Prophet ( ) said, "Allah has forbidden for you, (1)

to be undutiful to your mothers, (2) to bury your daughters alive, (3) to not to pay the rights of the others (e.g. charity, etc.) and (4) to beg of men (begging). And Allah has hated for you (1) vain, useless talk, or that you

talk too much about others, (2) to ask too many questions, (in disputed religious matters) and (3) to

waste the wealth (by extravagance).


HADEETH

Al-Quran 17:28 (Bani Israail)

If you are not in a situation to help

(28. And if you turn away from them and you are awaiting a mercy from your Lord for which you hope, then, speak unto

them a soft, kind word.)

Greeting them Warmly

Speaking kind words to them

Talking with a smile on face

Providing moral support

Showing concern

Asking about the health if any one is sick (call

or visit)

Advising them sincerely

especially if one needs it

Ways of upholding the ties of kinship, other than

spending money

Little bit effort

Visiting them

Helping them in matters other than

financial (wedding

matters, moving, bringing them groceries)

Giving gifts

No efforts Very little effort

Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Give gifts and you will

love one another."

Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 594 (Hasan)

HADEETH

99

How to safeguard ourselves from this

sinful act

Try to figure out the whispering of shaytaan and seek refuge of Allah

Repel evil with that which is better

Recognize the enemy

Keep seeking guidance from Quran and sunnah

Al-Quran 41: 34-36 (Haa Meem Sajda)

The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better, then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.) (35. But

none is granted it except those who are patient -- and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion in this world.) (36.

And if an evil whisper from Shaytan tries to turn you away, then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.)


Al-Quran 23:96-98 (Al-Muminoon)

96. Repel evil with that which is better. We are best-acquainted with the things they utter.) (97. And say: "My Lord! I seek refuge with You from the whisperings of the Shayatin.'') (98. "And I seek refuge with

You, My Lord! lest they should come near me.'')


Al-Quran 13:22 (Ar-Raad)

. . . . and repel evil with good, for such there is a good end.


Al-Quran 58:10 (Al-Mujadalah)

Recognize the enemy

(10. Secret counsels are only from Shaytan, in order that he may cause grief to the believers. But he cannot harm them in the least,

except as Allah permits. And in Allah let the believers put their trust.)

Al-Quran 7:201(Al-Araf)

Al-Quran 41: 36 (Haa Meem Sajda)

Al-Quran 7:200 (Al-Araf)

Try to figure out the whispering of shaytaan and seek refuge of Allah

(200. And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytan, then seek refuge with Allah. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower.)

(201. Verily, those who have Taqwa, when an evil thought comes to them from Shaytan, they remember (Allah), and (indeed) they then see (aright).)

(36. And if an evil whisper from Shaytan tries to turn you away, then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.)

Sulayman bin Surad said, "Two men disputed in the presence of the Prophet (pbuh) while we were sitting with him. One of them

was cursing the other fellow and his face turned red due to anger. The Prophet (pbuh) said, (I know of a statement which if

he said it, will make what he feels disappear, `I seek refuge with Allah from the cursed Satan. ) They said to the man, `Do you not hear what the Messenger of Allah is saying' He said, `I am

not insane.'''

Al-Bukhari (Also, Muslim, Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i recorded this Hadith.)

Hadeeth about how to cool down an anger

What if the relatives are not Muslims

'The family of Abu So and so are not my friends, for my friends are Allah and the righteous

believers. But they have ties of kinship with me, which I will recognize and uphold.'

(Bukhari and Muslim)

HADEETH

Narrated Asma': "My mother who was a Mushrikah (pagan, etc.), came with her father during the period of peace

pact between the Muslims and the Quraish infidels. I went to seek the advice of the Prophet ( ) saying, "My mother has arrived and she is hoping (for my favor)." The Prophet ( ) said, "Yes, be good to

your mother."


HADEETH

i am good to them while they are bad to me: kinship

Documents

kin allah

taqwa of allah

allah bl

ties of womb relations

arraad alquran

good relations

ties of kinship

alnisa kinship ties