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Founded in 1949 The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
Prince
gives
Mooney
thumbs
up: f P R I N C E P H I L L I P payed a
visit to IC on Wednesday to
c h a i r t h e T e n t h G e n e r a l
C o u n c i l of the D u k e of E d i n
b u r g h A w a r d Scheme. Over
400 delegates f r o m al l over
B r i t a i n and 100 f r o m over
seas attended.
T h e y w e r e w e l c o m e d b y t h e
R e c t o r a t 1 1 : 0 0 a m , a n d t h e n
p r o c e e d e d t o d i s c u s s t h e p r o g r e s s
o f t h e s c h e m e w h i c h " . . . is
i n t e n d e d t o h e l p w i t h b o t h t h e
y o u n g a n d t h o s e p e o p l e w h o t a k e
a n i n t e r e s t i n t h e i r w e l f a r e . It is
d e s i g n e d as a n i n t r o d u c t i o n t o
l e i s u r e t i m e a c t i v i t i e s , a c h a l l e n g e
t o t h e i n d i v i d u a l t o p e r s o a n l
a c h i e v e m e n t , a n d as a g u i d e t o
t h o s e p e o p l e a n d o r g a n i s a t i o n s
w h o a r e c o n c e r n e d a b o u t t h e
d e v e l o p m e n t o f o u r f u t u r e
c i t i z e n s . " H R H
A f t e r ' O p p o r t u n i t y f o r a l l — a
R e a l i t y ? — a n a d d r e s s b y L o r d
P e r r y o f W a l t o n , a n d a ' D i s c u s s i o n
w i t h p a r t i c u l a r r e f e r e n c e t o
y o u n g u n e m p l o y e d , y o u n g
p e o p l e i n e m p l o y m e n t a n d
d i s a d v a n t a g e d g r o u p s ' , t h e
d e l e g a t e s a d j o u r n e d f o r l u n c h .
B e i n g s e r v e d i n t h e J C R , l u n c h
w a s p r o v i d e d b y t h e C o l l e g e
c a t e r e r , M r M o o n e y , a n d c o m
p r i s e d o f F i s h K e d g e r e e , T o m a t o
S a l a d , C h i c k e n P i l a f f , P i l a u R i c e
F r u i t S a l a d , G r a p e f r u i t C o c k t a i l ,
S a u t e K i d n e y s a u J e r e z , C h i c k e n
v o l a u v e n t R e g e n c y , C r o q u e t t e
P o t a t o e s , S a l a d C r o q u e n b a c h ,
C h e e s e , F r e n c h B r e a d a n d
C o f l i e e , s u f f i c i e n t f o r 5 5 0 h u n g r y
s o u l s — a l l w a s h e d d o w n w i t h
2 5 0 b o t t l e s o f w i n e .
B0 ROMPS HOME
M a r g a r e t V a l l a n c e , P r e s s
O f f i c e r f o r t h e A w a r d S c h e m e
c o m m e n t e d t o F E L I X t h a t t h e
f o o d h a d b e e n ' e x c e l l e n t ' a n d
o f f e r e d h e r c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s o n ,
o u r h a v i n g s u c h a s u p e r b c a t e r e r
i n C o l l e g e . It w o u l d a p p e a r t h a t
t h e e n t i r e o c c a s i o n w a s a g r e a t
s u c c e s s f r o m a l m o s t e v e r y o n e ' s
p o i n t o f v i e w — t h e D u k e ' s a n d
t h e d e l e g a t e s ' a r r i v a l a t a n d
d e p a r t u r e f r o m C o l l e g e b e i n g so
w e l l o r g a n i s e d a s t o b e a l m o s t
u n n o t i c e d b y t h e m a j o r i t y o f
s t u d e n t s . I n d e e d , w h e n F E L I X
a s k e d C a p t a i n L i n d l e y h o w
m a n y v i s i t o r s h a d b e e n h e r e , h e
s a i d : " I d o n ' t k n o w , I d o n ' t
s t a n d a n d c o u n t ' e m , a n d i t ' s n o t
u p t o m e t o c o u n t t h e m e i t h e r " .
W h e n p r e s s e d f u r t h e r o n t h e
p o i n t , h e s a i d , " O h G o d , I d o n ' t
k n o w " .
F E L I X w o u l d l i k e t o a p o l o g i s e
t o C a p t a i n L i n d l e y f o r t h i n k i n g
t h a t h e s h o u l d k n o w .
IT W A S sunshine all the way for the drivers and passengers
taking part in this year's R A C L o n d o n to Brighton Run for
veteran cars. Thousands of spectators were out early on Sunday
morning to see the 282 starters set off from Serpentine Row in
London 's Hyde Park at the start of the 53-mile run to Brighton's
seafront.
A c o n t i n g e n t o f G u i l d s m e n ,
s o m e d r e s s e d i n p y j a m a s , g a v e B o
a c h e e r as t h e t w o c y l i n d e r 1 9 0 2
J a m e s & B r o w n e s t a r t e d f r o m
H y d e P a r k .
B o d r i v e r , C h r i s R o l p h , h a d a n
e v e n t f u l j o u r n e y . A t P u r l e y h e
h e a r d ' k n o c k i n g n o i s e s ' c o m i n g
f r o m t h e e n g i n e . D e s p i t e a f e w
p r o b l e m s . B o , a n d p a s s e n g e r s
C h r i s G y o t , D a v e G a y e r a n d S u e
R i d d a r r i v e d a t B r i g h t o n a t
1 : 0 0 p m .
1 0 0 G u i l d s m e n g a v e B o a
w a r m w e l c o m e w i t h a s t o r m i n g
B o o m a l a k a a s it m o t o r e d a l o n g
t h e B r i g h t o n p r o m e n a d e .
A n d y R u s h t o n , w i t h p a s s e n g e r
J o A r m i t a g e , s u c c e s s f u l l y r o d e
t h e N e r - a - C a r a l l t h e w a y to
B r i g h t o n . Jez a n d a p a r t y f r o m
R C S a l s o w e n t t o B r i g h t o n b u t
d i d n o t t a k e p a r t i n t h e R a l l y
A f t e r l u n c h t h e G u i l d s m e n
t o o k o v e r t h e d o d g e m s a n d b i g
w h e e l w i t h t h e d a y t r a d i t i o n a l l y
e n d i n g w i t h a d i p i n t h e s e a .
No 566 Friday, November 7,1980
Dear Sir
It is always difficult to defend
any illegal activity — anyone
who feels slightly affronted
immediately has a very big stick
to beat you with. C B is illegal,
and will remain so for a while
yet, and I fully realise the
implications of its use. However,
I am sure I am not alone in
thinking of 'he benefits a legal
C B would bring to the country as
it has in many other countries.
M y personal use of any equip
ment is my look-out, as I can,
indeed, be prosecuted — just in
the same manner as I can be
done for speeding.
M y original intention was, and
still is, to form a social club of
people interested in C B radio to
apply pressure for its legalisation
on 27MHz as soon as possible,
rather than promote i l legal
act iv i ty , which is up to the
individual.
I have said all I want to say-
about the technical side ( F E L I X
5 6 4 ) and shall conclude this letter
by saying that if anyone is
interested they can put a letter in
the Meeh Eng letter-racks —
under l F \ This is the Ferret
going 10-8, 10-10.
The Ferret (Esq)
Real name and address supplied.
Dear Sir
I have been fo l lowing the
correspondence on C B with some
interest, and h a v i n g strong
feelings on the matter actually
wrote a letter on the subject last
week. As this would have required
a 99-page F E L I X supplement, it
was not printed, and so I would
like, having squeezed as much
venom and contempt out of them
as possible, to present the main
points here, in the hope that they
constitute a reasonable summary ,
of the pros and cons.
1) If some form of r a d i o
communication between private
citizens was legalised, it would
not only be fun, but useful.
2) The operation of imported
27MHz CB equipment causes
gross interference to the legal
users of not only the 27MHz
b a n d , but to many services
I outside it, e.g. aircraft landing 1 systems, etc (see Government
d iscuss ion d o c u m e n t ' O p e n
Channel*).
3) Channel 16 is not the only
one causing trouble.
4) Radio Amateurs do not
particularly want "to dominate
the airwaves". We haven't got all
that m u c h f r e q u e n c y space
anyway, considering the number
of people in the world who use it.
5) For simple, friendly local
contacts, 2m F M should suit the
C B e r s perfectly. A suitable
license is very easy to obtain.
6) Police do not automatically
turn a blind eye to C B operation.
If anyone is really interested in
radio communication and would
like to get involved without
c r a s h i n g a e r o p l a n e s or o ld
people's alarms, I would invite
them to come along one Wednes
day afternoon to H A M S O C ' s
little abode in the Union Building.
Tours faithfully
J Savage
Physics 3
G 8 R R D
Dear Sir
I have been asked to reply to
M a t t h e w H u n t b a c h ' s letter,
printed in F E L I X no 565.
His letter is a hot-potch of
disconnected jottings that served
to warn me of how liberally
afflicted with tunnel vision a
student politician can become.
He writes that the Government
is not 'putting much priority on
profit-sharing' and 'that workers
do not get any direct benefit from
being competitive and thus do
not have any incentive'.
Traditionally firms have paid
higher rates for overtime and
now many are trying to introduce
a productivity element into their
pay seitlements. This is a type of
p r o f i t - s h a r i n g and certainly
provides an incentive to be
competitive. There is little more
for the Government to do. It has
however enhanced the value of
such arrangements by reducing,
at all levels, the rate of direct
taxation.
He goes on to say that mono
polies can exist under private
o w n e r s h i p a n d c o m p e t i t i o n
under public ownership. I agree
but feel bound to point out that,
in this country at least, the
opposite is more likely to apply.
Where this is happening the
Government is aiming to allow
private enterprise to compete.
British Airways is facing competi
tion from British Caledonian anu
air fares on national routes have
fallen, making prices compare
favourably with corresponding
train fares. This Government has
also given private coach operators
the chance to compete with the
National Bus Company. 'Inter-
C i t y ' coach prices have been
reduced, demonstrat ing that
faith in private enterprise does
not go unrewarded at least not
for you or me — the consumer.
Matthew then goes on to say
that S i r K e i t h J o s e p h was
inhumane to suggest 'that people
should accept lower wages to get
jobs'.
Now an employee is unlikely to
move to a lower paid job. Maybe
Sir Keith meant that an unem
ployed person should accept
lower wages to get a job. But an
unemployed person receives no
wage so, that doesn't hold. The
implication must therefore be
that an unemployed person
should expect to receive a lower
wage than had previously been
anticipated. This might be good
advice to those who read or hear
about how wage 'claims' 'could'
result in . . . etc. Expectations are
bound to be raised by such
reporting and by the exaggerated
talk of associates. If someone
unemployed pays heed to Sir
Keith's advice then his words will
have borne fruit indeed. Because
there is, as I hope Matthew is
well aware, more to a job than
financial reward.
In the final paragraph it was
c l a i m e d that C o n s e r v a t i v e
policies are 'designed to ensure
that real power and ownership
lies in the hands of a small and
privileged elite' — rubbish.
The continuing intent to sell
council houses, the aim to allow
private enterprise to challenge
state monopolies and the desire
to switch from direct to indirect
taxation show that the Govern
ment is t r y i n g to give the
c o n s u m e r m o r e e c o n o m i c
f r e e d o m , more choice and
therefore more contro l . T h e
Government still has a long way
to go but it has set out in the
correct direction.
Tours faithfully
Mark Clegg
Chairman of IC Con Soe
Dear Steve,
I would like to reply to M r
Teeloek's somewhat emotive
letter last week with a few points
I c o n s i d e r re levant to the
situation:
1) As I have previously ex
plained, both decisions regarding
the T V L o u n g e were made
during Malcolm's term of office
and thus I had assumed he had
informed Snooker Club.
2) He states "for a long time
now, the room has been the
meeting place of Snooker C l u b " .
I w a s n o t a w a r e o f t h i s , a n d
i n d e e d , it s h o u l d n o t h a v e b e e n
so . S n o o k e r C l u b h a v e t h e i r o w n
r o o m , c a n b o o k a c o m m i t t e e
r o o m f o r a n o f f i c i a l m e e t i n g l i k e
a n y . o t h e r c l u b , a n d c e r t a i n l y
h a v e n o r i g h t t o t h e r o o m s i m p l y
b e c a u s e it is n e x t d o o r t o t h e i r s
a n d w a s n o t u s e d a t l u n c h t i m e s
t o r a l o n g t i m e .
3 ) H e g i v e s t h e a r g u m e n t s
u s e d i n t h e p a s t a n d s tates t h a t h e
" w a s g i v e n a d i s t i n c t i m p r e s s i o n
last y e a r t h a t t h e C l u b w o u l d ,
p r o b a b l y b e g e t t i n g a t a b l e t h i s
y e a r " . I ' m a f r a i d h e w a s m i s l e d ,
a s l a s t y e a r ' s o f f i c e r s c a n n o t
c o n t r o l w h a t t h i s y e a r ' s U n i o n
F i n a n c e C o m m i t t e e w i l l d e c i d e
a f t e r d u e c o n s i d e r a t i o n o f t h e
c i r c u m s t a n c e s .
4) H o u s e C o m m i t t e e a r e n o t
m y ' b o s o m f r i e n d s ' ( v e r y w i t t y ! ) ,
t h e m e m b e r s a r e e l e c t e d , t w o
f r o m C o u n c i l , a n d t w o f r o m t h e
s t u d e n t b o d y , i . e . . a n y m e m b e r o f
S n o o k e r C l u b ( o r I C W A f o r t h a t
m a t t e r ) c o u l d h a v e s t o o d . I f t h e
c o m m i t t e e ' s i n t e n t i o n w a s t o get
r i d o f I C W A , I ' m s u r e it c o u l d
h a v e d o n e b e t t e r , i .e . t h e l a d i e s '
t o i l e t s c o n f o r m e x a c t l y t o t h e
r e l e v a n t c l a u s e i n t h e B y - l a w s :
" A p o r t i o n o f t h e U n i o n B u i l d i n g s
s h a l l b e set a s i d e l o r t h e use o f t h e
m e m b e r s o f t h e I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e
W o m e n ' s A s s o c i a t i o n " . I a m a l s o
s u r e a n y o f t h e m is c a p a b l e o f
p r o p o s i n g t h e a p p r o p r i a t e B y
l a w c h a n g e a t a U G M .
5) U n i o n F i n a n c e C o m m i t t e e
( o f w h i c h I a m a l s o t h e C h a i r m a n ,
i .e . I d o n o t h a v e a d e l i b e r a t i v e
v o t e a t e i t h e r C o m m i t t e e ) is
c o m p o s e d o f t h e p r e s i d e n t s o f t h e
C C U s , t h e C h a i r m e n o f t h e
m a j o r s u b - c o m m i t t e e s , a n d t w o
o r d i n a r y m e m b e r s ( w h i c h a g a i n
anyone c a n s t a n d f o r ) . A l l a r e
e l e c t e d b y t h e i r v a r i o u s b o d i e s ,
w h o p r e s u m a b l y c o n s i d e r e d
t h e m r e s p o n s i b l e e n o u g h t o
" h a n d l e r o u g h l y £ 1 2 , 0 0 0 o f your
m o n e y " ' w h e n t h e y v o t e d f o r
t h e m .
6) I w o u l d s u g g e s t t h a t c a l l i n g
t h e c o m m i t t e e " s e l f - c e n t r e d
h a c k s " a n d " t w a t s w h o r e a l l y g e l
u p m y n o s e " is n o t g o i n g to
p e r s u a d e t h e m to s p e n d £ 2 , 7 5 0
o n S n o o k e r C l u b ' s t a b l e a t M a j o r
C l a i m s o n T u e s d a y .
1 ours sinterely
R a c h e l S n e e
Dear Mr Marshall
I a m w r i t i n g o n b e h a l f o f M r
M o r t o n i n r e p l y to t h e l e t t e r f r o m
M e s s r s F ' o x a n d O ' B o y l e . M r
M o r t o n w o u l d r e p l y h i m s e l f , b u t
h e is c u r r e n t l y a t t e n d i n g B R A I N
( B r i t i s h R a c e g o e r s A s s o c i a t i o n
I n q u i r y o n N o b b i n g ) . Y o u r
r e a d e r s w i l l u n d o u b t e d l y r e a l i s e
h o w i m p o r t a n t t h i s I n q u i r y is
w i t h t h e F o x - O ' B o y l e M e m o r i a l
H a n d i c a p C h a s e t o t a k e p l a c e i n
t h e n e a r f u t u r e . T h e q u e s t i o n o f
N o b b i n g h a s b e e n r a i s e d as w e
b e l i e v e s o m e r u n n e r s a n d r i d e r s
Page 2 FELIX, November 7, 1980
have been gaining unfair a d v a n
tage by this process ( n o t a b l y
G u n n e r r idden by H u r d y G u r d y ) .
However , I digress. M r M o r t o n
had no intention of offending two
such illustrious Associates of the
R o y a l C o l l e g e o f S c i e n c e as
Messrs Fox and O ' B o y l e . M r
M o r t o n believes that his sources
of idiosyncratic inspiration are at
least as good, if not better than,
those of F o x a n d O ' B o y l e . H e
t h e r e f o r e b e l i e v e s t h a t these
gentlemen would be p r o u d to
have their names associated with
such an event and that their
d e m a n d for an apology is both
u n w a r r a n t e d a n d p r e m a t u r e .
J u d g e by the event, F o x a n d
O ' B o y l e . M r M o r t o n is certain it
will be up to your own idiosyn
cratic standards and an apology
for using your names will be
issued if it is not.
M r M o r t o n hopes the doubt ing
tone of the letter from Fox a n d
O ' B o y l e wil l not prevent entries
f looding in for the race. W e wil l
show how well we can manage
without them!
} ours sincerely
R o c k M i n t o n
H e a d L a d to M r M o r t o n ' s Stable
F o r t w o w e e k s i n a r o w
( F E L I X 565 and 566), you have
p u b l i s h e d i n y o u r E d i t o r i a l s
untrue a n d actionable statements
about me, presented as if they
were facts and mixed with your
characteristic 'presumably 's and
hearsays. W h i l e it is not worth
my time to c o m m e n t on your
p r e s u m p t i o n s , it is a b s o l u t e l y
n e c e s s a r y to c h a l l e n g e y o u r
' f a c t s ' a n d set t h e r e c o r d s
straight.
O n 2 1 / 1 0 / 8 0 , I received a call
from I C U H o n Sec (E Lindsay)
asking who would be seconding
my mot ion at the U G M . In the
discussion that followed (over the
phone a n d in the U n i o n Office
less than five minutes later), I d id
N O T say, or give the impression,
that M a r y A t t e n b o r o u g h had
backed out' of anything . T h e r e
was a witness present. I therefore
c h a l l e n g e y o u to s u b s t a n t i a t e
your aspersion that the contrary
is true.
M a r y herself savs she d id not
'back out ' . Y o u have alleged in
print'that she d i d . Therefore , the
onus is on you to produce any
concrete evidence you may have
to s u p p o r t y o u r p o s i t i o n . B y
publ i shing the d a m a g i n g state
ment in your E d i t o r i a l , you have
erred on points of fact a n d of law.
A n d if you have any knowledge
of I C U constitutional documents
at al l , you would accept that the
F E L I X E d i t o r is responsible for
facts in his E d i t o r i a l , irrespective
of the initial source of his alleged
m i s - i n f o r m a t i o n . It is u n
believable that an E d i t o r should
c la im he is not responsible for a
statement he wrote a n d published!
A n y decent E d i t o r , if he c o m
mitted the b lunder at al l , would
have apologised to M a r y by now.
S i n c e y o u h a v e so far not
p r o v e d y o u r s e l f s u f f i c i e n t l y
conversant with the basic p r i n
ciples a n d practice of responsible
journalism, one should not take
seriously your latest attempt to
dabble in matters of law. Indeed
it is astonishing that someone
w h o has p u b l i s h e d n u m e r o u s
actionable Editorials and lead
stories should^hint of l itigation.
People who live in glass houses
are better advised not to throw
stones recklessly.
If you want to debate the issue
f u r t h e r — I ' v e n o t i m e for
trivalities — you can take me up
on the pages of F E L I X or on the
lloor of the U G M . I shall accept,
provided there is a guarantee of
equal writ ing space or speaking
time lor each side, with neither
cheating. F o r one side to mis-use
office by publ ishing his views
while preventing the reply of the
o t h e r f r o m b e i n g p r i n t e d is
c o w a r d l y , u n a c c e p t a b l e a n d
unconsitutional .
D a r e Afo labi
M e c h E n g P G
Ed's Comment
D e a r D e n n i s , ,
I regard you as a compulsive liar of
the most detestable kind. O n the
last day for accepting motions, L i z
Lindsay received a call from you in
which you said that although you
had not asked M a r y Attenborough
" y o u felt sure she would agree to
second the m o t i o n " . L i z tried to
phone M a r y , but was unable to
contact her. Just before the closing
d e a d l i n e y o u r a n g b a c k a n d
w i t h d r e w M a r y a n d suggested
someone called Fernando.
I resent your letter and all of
your other letters, and I don't like
the way you have treated M a r y in
this matter; I think you owe her an
apology.
I too have no time for trivialities
and hence I have no wish to discuss
the matter (whatever it is!) any
further.
Y O L J elected me to Office and
Y O U have the power to remove
me, why don't you exercise your
rights? I regard you as a crackpot
and will tolerate you no longer.
Y o u may consider your right of
reply in print to this comment
u n a c c e p t a b l e a n d u n c o n s t i t u
tionally withdrawn in a cowardly
manner if vou like.
Last Orders for
Ken O N F R I D A Y , O c t o b e r 24, K e n
N e w t o n (Sports C e n t r e R e c e p
t i o n i s t ) w a s s u s p e n d e d f r o m
duty by C h i e f Security Officer ,
M r Reeves. Last T h u r s d a y , a
d i s c i p l i n a r y c o m m i t t e e sat to
discuss M r Newton 's e m p l o y
ment. T h e committee decided
to al low M r N e w t o n to submit
his resignation.
In the past, M r N e w t o n h a d
r e c i e v e d t w o w a r n i n g s i n
w r i t i n g a n d n u m e r o u s v e r b a l
cautions from Col lege c o n c e r n
ing his abusive language, a n d
p e r p e t u a l l y i n e b r i a t e d s tate ,
w h i c h often resulted in i rregul
arities in his till at the sports
centre.
RCM Director
snubs FEUX
F E L I X is n o l o n g e r t o be
distributed a r o u n d the R . C . M .
O r i g i n a l l y copies were left in
t h e e n t r a n c e h a l l , b u t t h e
D i r e c t o r d i d not approve of a
' f o r e i g n ' p u b l i c a t i o n b e i n g
c irculated in the Col lege . T h e
President of the R . C . M . S t u
dents Association agreed to keep
a l l c o p i e s i n h i s o f f i c e f r o m
where they c o u l d be picked up
by students. Inevitably, d e m a n d
w a s n o t v e r y h i g h , a n d t h e
President has decided that in
future he wi l l only collect 20 or
30 each week.
Which is Witch?
-Dancing to the 'Monster Mash' at this year's Halloween Party-
Perennial favourite of ghoul and disco freak alike, the Halloween Party
was again crowded with merry-makers. Tony West's Acme Disco kept
things moving, and the witching hour passed without the bat of an eyelid
(or the eyelid of a bat?). See you at next year's reincarnation.
Size 20 Soars
M A N Y A G u i l d s m a n gathered
in Beit Q u a d on Wednesday to
c e l e b r a t e t h e f a i l u r e o f G u y
Fawkes ' 375 years ago.
Despite conditions conducive
to permafrost the c r o w d witness
ed quite a few fireworks, a ided
a n d abetted by a G u i l d s barbe-
que.
T h e evening c u l m i n a t e d in
the l a u n c h i n g of ' T h e M o n s t e r ' ,
a 'Size 20 Skyrocket with c h a i n
of stars-red to green. ' , as m a n u
factured by S t a n d a r d .
Rae out for
the count I N O R D E R T O c o u n t t h e
large quantities of lOp pieces
collected from the machines in
the U n i o n L o u n g e , the U n i o n
F i n a n c e C o m m i t t e e has decided
to buy a special machine . T h e
m a c h i n e wi l l cost about ,£200.
R a e Snee pointed out that at
p r e s e n t it t a k e s U n i o n s t a f f
about twelve hours to do the
j o b w h i c h , w i t h the help of the
m a c h i n e , she wil l now do all by
h e r s e l f . F o r t h i s r e a s o n R a e
believes this to be a very cost-
effective purchase.
F E L I X , November 7, 1980 Page 3
IC Radio There's a new half hour Droqramme on IC Radio
from this Friday evening. Going by the name of
"Don't Touch That Dia l " , it's a collection of
music, interviews and features that you won't
hear anywhere else — definitely! A team of eaoer
young radio journalists from the London College
of Printing are putting the programme together,
and they'll welcome your views and comments on
how you'll like the show. Tune in at 8 o'clock for an
earful
The first programme includes a feature on
Kinky Friedman the first Jewish country and
western star, a report on cannabis growing in
France with the Government's blessing, and hints
on how to cut a dash this winter in the latest
urban guerrilla outfits.
PG Football A l t h o u g h a postgrad football tournament
would, by necessity have to played outside of a bed, we don't really expect the standard to be very high, the point is that people enjoy playing. Many postgrads have difficulty in getting away during the afternoon so that an indoor five-a-side competition may be most feasible for this term; in addition there are a number of eleven-aside teams who would welcome offers of games. All this requires organisation, so as a start maybe interested individuals could come along to our meeting oh Monday, November 10 at one o'clock in the Senior Common Room (in the Union Building) where hopefully we can get some idea of the n u m b e r s i n v o l v e d , a n d the k i n d of arrangements which would suit people best; anyone who is interested but has an aversion to meetings should leave a note for me, care of Chem Eng.
Marcus Karolewski
Last Week's Competition Thanks for the flood of entries to the "What I
would do with £500 of Union money if John
Passmore had not got to it before I could"
essay competition. After sifting through all of
the entries I have finally decided on the
following two joint winners; prize £2.50 each.
- Ed.
Dear Steve
What would I do if I had got my hands on
the £500 of U n i o n money before J o h n
Passmore? Well. I would have bought a new
set o f shirts and started running a second
rugby team. Then I would be able to give a
game.to all the ex-Gaelic footballers who
now want to play rugby because they have
realised that, however well John Passmore
organises a team, there are no pitches,
referees or opposition within 300 miles of
London.
Yours
Tim Latham
Captain R C S Rugby Club
RCSA Careers The R C S A is organising a Careers Brains Trust on Thursday, November 20 at 6:30pm in the J C R Sherfield. This is an informal evening with free refreshments. The event aims to give final-year students an opportunity to talk with old students about jobs, careers and prospects in the outside world.
Representatives will be present from a wide range of occupations and at many levels; from industry, schools, commerce and government, and in management, research, sales, finance, etc.
This should be very informative even if you already know what you want to do next year.
In Memoriam, £500 of Union Money
S o fare* sll then, £500, of U n i o n money,
A s u m trivial
W h e n compared to
F a r
Larger sums spent on
J C R refarnishing
M y friend Ke i th
Says House Committee
Dec ided
Not to
F u r n i s h the J C R
A l l at once
But it
W a s done anyway
Democracy is a
Wonderful
Thing.
Perhaps the
M o s t democratic
U s e of U n i o n money
W o u l d be
The one taken advantage of
By most IC students,
M a y b e
Providing more T V s
F o r Southside residents
O r even
A tedious
J C R booze up.
M y friend Keith 's m u m
Suggests that we
Erect a gibbet
In Beit Q u a d
And hang
Errant
U n i o n Officers.
A n y suggestions
F o r first up?
E Jarvis — Only (23)
flunt fteidre
Visits friends
Episode One
At the railway station the 10:30p.m. express
from Southend was late. The porters weeded
the flowerbed — it had not been done for
some while. A passenger sat conspicuously
alone.
"How do you print tickets?" asked Aunt
Deidre at the appropriate office.
"With a machine," replied the belligerent officer.
Far from being put off, Aunt Deidre continued with
her enquiries, but the clerk turned disinterestedly
away.
Pa<Jk4 FELIX, November 7, 1980
Work in Shell covers II areas of activity.
Mechanical Engineers make an important contribution in all of them.
A number of people, including some Undergraduates,
have the idea that an oi l company can offer little scope to
Mechanical Engineers. Yet, as far as Shel l is concerned,
nothing could be further from the truth.
Y o u wi l l find the wide range of work of many
Mechanical Engineers described in our booklet
'Opportunities for Graduates, 1981', and this should
come as no surprise i f you think about the technical
scope of our activities. Spread more widely across the
world of Shel l than probably any other group of
professionals, we have a good few hundred Mechanical
Engineers with virtually unl imited scope to move into
any sphere, and there are scarcely any activities
equivalent to the 'shop floor'.
Early management involvement Right from your early months you wi l l be involved in
the management of engineering projects, for with Shel l
you are emphatically not someone who just solves
problems on paper. Planning and co-ordinating
programmes and negotiating with contractors w i l l all
be part of your task, working in small teams.
We shall expect you to do your problem-solving in a
context of great autonomy, while you are quite likely to
find yourself having to work out your own technology.
A n d you are certain to meet human problems as well as
mechanical ones.
M o s t people seem to like it that way.
Opportunities to acquire new skills Whatever your engineering interest at Universi ty ,
Shell can offer an enormous variety of possibilities,
particularly as we diversify our worldwide business.
T h e training and scope for career development,
including senior management opportunities, match the
wealth of experience we provide so that with Shel l you
can be qualified for any field. A n d you wi l l be
encouraged to acquire Chartered Engineer status in
your early years, doing professional work that satisfies
the Institution's requirements. We believe in growing
b u r own leaders and in making the fullest use of the best
brains around.
I f you're among the best of Undergraduates, and
particularly i f you're in your final year, you could well
find it worthwhile considering Shel l at least to the point
of looking at our 1981 booklet now at your Careers
Service. W e ' l l be meeting students early in the New
Year, telling them how they can
put their qualifications to
rewarding use.
O r get in touch with
A n n Simons, Recruitment
Div i s i on (F5) P N E E / 2 4 ,
Shell International
Petroleum Company L i m i t e d ,
Shel l Centre, L o n d o n S E i 7 N A .
Telephone: 01-934 2947.
FELIX, November 7, 1980 Page 5
WEDNESDAY BEER FESTIVAL I C R C h a p s C l u b U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e
12th Nov RAGARAMA 7 : 3 0 p m
THURSDAY E X E C T O R T U R E Bei t Q u a d R C S L ' n i o n C o n c e r t H a l l
13th Nov L u n c h ) i m e SMOKING CONCERT 7 : 3 0 p m i
fbursday I3tb (!~fToocmber d 730 in the
« Union Concert ggtf '%kek £1 Rag & Drag Disco Fri Nov 14
FRIDAY 14th Nov
F L O A T BUILDING see y o u r
e c u
RAG & DRAG J C R 8 : 0 0 p m
D I S C O
SATURDAY 15th Nov
R A G PROCESSION C C U O i l i c e s
•fc 1 2 : 3 0 p m
SCAB NIGHT U n i o n C o n c e r t H a l l
7 : 3 0 p m
starring G O D
A N D SUPPORT with SMOKESTAK and B L U E MAX
featuring T H E H O U N D O F T H E BASKERVILLES plus special entertainment, an EROTIC INFERNO
Saturday, November 15, 7:30pm
Tickets from IC Union Office.
I n t e r - C C U 1 0 : 0 0 a m BAR NIGHT I ' n i o n B a t
SUNDAY RAFT RACE C C U Of f i ces 7 : 0 0 p m
16th Nov A L L STARS RUGBY Beit A r c h
1 2 : 3 0 p m
F O X / O ' B O Y L E MEMORIAL
HANDICAP CHASE
a l t e r B a r N i g h t
MONDAY P R A M RACE B e i t Q u a d F o l k C l u b C o n c e r i U n i o n L o w e r R e f e c t o r y
17th Nov L u n c h t i m e BOB PEGG 8 : 0 0 p m
Union Lower Refectory
Monday 17th Nov.
80p 800pm
* all girl band
Tuesday 18th Nov
8:00pm JCR
tickets 50p from CCU offices
Schoolgirls and Dirty Old Men
TUESDAY 18th Nov
WEDNESDAY 19th Nov
A e r o s o c
PAPER DARTS
a n d I n t e r - C C U
BOAT RACE
B e i t Q u a d
L u n c h t i m e
MORPHY DAY C C U Of f i c es
12:30 p m
M i n e s
DIRTY DISCO
J C R
8 : 0 0 p m
DRINK U L U DRY U L U , M a l e t St
M O R P H Y DAYtheshithttsthefan
SBooe at $sirst Site
T H U R S D A Y 20th Nov
Mech Eng 220
6:30pm 50p
„ Quildt'
8aftit i l
M O D E T T E S
+4 O T H E R B A N D S
2 F I L M S
F R I D A Y 21st Nov
U N I O N B U I L D I N G
7:30pm
Bar until 4:00am
£3.00
THURSDAY 20th Nov
DWILE FLONKING Be i t Q u a d
L t i n r h t i m e
RAG FILMS M e c h E n g 220
(USOpm
FRIDAY 21st Nov
DISGUSTING GAMES Be i t Q u a d
L u n c h ) i m e
GUILDS CARNIVAL L ' n i o n B u i l d i n g
7 : 3 0 p m
GO BACK HOME This article is written to reveal some of the difficult situations
that o v e r s e a s s t u d e n t s , g r a d u a t e s in par t i cu la r , are now
f a c i n g u n d e r the p r e s e n t s y s t e m . A l t h o u g h m y o w n
experience is being referred to, some points like high tuition
fees and the work permits are relevant to most overseas
students.
Mark Wong outlines the difficulties faced by overseas IC graduates when applying for a job in this country.
I came to Bri ta in four years
ago from H o n g K o n g (a British
colony) . A s I was b o r n in H o n g
K o n g I have a British passport
^i.e. British nationality) but I
am a British subject, not a British
citrjn: therefore I a m classified
as an overseas student. I came
t o I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e to d o
c h e m i c a l e n g i n e e r i n g a l t e r I
f i n i s h e d m y A l e v e l s i n o n e
year. I have learnt a lot, not 1
o n l y a c a d e m i c a l l y , these f o u r
years. I like this country a n d I
have made a lot of friends. I feel
accepted by most of the people
I have met, so I think I could
s e t t ' " i n this c o u n t r y . In m y
final year , I dec ided to settle
d o w n here a n d make a career in
c h e m i c a l engineering. It is not
o n l y b e c a u s e t h e r e a r e m o r e
o p p o r t u n i t i e s for a c h e m i c a l
e n g i n e e r h e r e t h a n in H o n g
K o n g , hut I c a n also contribute
more from both my educat ion
a n d cul tural b a c k g r o u n d .
I joined the m i l k r o u n d a n d
looked for a suitable j o b . After
some considerat ion, I chose a
list o f n i n e c o m p a n i e s , a l l of
them were oi l companies , c h e m
ical manufacturers or c h e m i c a l
engineering contractors. H o w
ever, I encountered a p r o b l e m
in getting a j o b , a n d that is, I
have to have a work permit in
o r d e r t o be e m p l o y e d . A n
e m p l o y e r who is interested in
e m p l o y i n g a n overseas worker
l i k e m y s e l f c a n a p p l y to the
H o m e Office o n behalf of the
o v e r s e a s w o r k e r f o r a w o r k
permit . H o w e v e r , the overseas
worker has to at least satisfy a
list of regulations la id d o w n by
the H o m e Office . In the past, it
was difficult but still possible to
get a work permit . In 1979, a
new legislation c a m e in m e a n i n g
t h a t t h e a p p l i c a n t o v e r s e a s
worker of the work permit must
be over the age of 23. T h i s rule, to
me, is put in just to stop most of
the overseas graduates getting a
j o b h e r e . T h e r e a r e o t h e r
r e g u l a t i o n s l i k e the e m p l o y e r
h a s to a d v e r t i s e t h e j o b i n
Br i ta in a n d other E E C countries
a n d show that he has no suitable
c a n d i d a t e from this c o u n t r y or
other. E E C country .
I w a s w a r n e d m a n y t i m e s
that it was likely to be extremely
d i f f i c u l t t o o b t a i n a w o r k
permit . Despite this, I went to
the first r o u n d of interviews. A
couple of companies d i d n ' t even
give me a first interview. O n e of
these companies stated clearly-
in the letter that it was because
they w o u l d not be able to get
me a work permit . I was turned
d o w n by another two companies '
after first interviews p r o b a b l y
also because of the work permit
p r o b l e m . Nevertheless, I received
s e v e n i n v i t a t i o n s f r o m f i v e
companies (some of these c o m
p a n i e s h a v e s u b s i d i a r i e s a n d
divisions) so, the first r o u n d of
interviews 'was successful given
m y p r o b l e m . T h e second r o u n d
of interviews was also reasonably
s u c c e s s f u l a l t h o u g h the w o r k
permit issue was inevitably raised
a n d discussed. T h i s issue was
certainly taken into account by
the employer before they decided
whether to offer me a j o b or not.
A t the e n d , I h a d three offers of
e m p l o y m e n t : one from an oil
c o m p a n y a n d the other two from
the same but different parts of an
international oil a n d chemica l
c o m p a n y . I then made u p m y
m i n d to j o i n the international oil
a n d c h e m i c a l giant. A good deal
of effort was then put in by the
c o m p a n y to p r e p a r e f o r the
appl icat ion of m y work permit . I
r e m a i n e d in L o n d o n after the
t h i r d year exams to wait for the
outcome of the appl icat ion . T h e
b a d news c a m e in e a r l y j u l y when
the H o m e Office turned d o w n my
a p p l i c a t i o n . T h e c o m p a n y
informed me of the result a n d that
we h a d the right to appeal against
the H o m e Office decision. A week
later, I got in touch with the
c o m p a n y a g a i n a n d I w a s
surprised a n d disappointed to
hear that the c o m p a n y , after
a week of careful consideration
w o u l d not appeal on m y behalf
because the chance of success
was extremely sl im. T h e y could
do nothing but to w i t h d r a w the
offer of e m p l o y m e n t .
I just don ' t understand why I
should not be al lowed to take
u p the j o b here when I have
h a d four years of good education.
T h e r e are employers looking for
good graduates, there are e m
p l o y e r s w h o c o u l d n o t f i n d
s u i t a b l e c a n d i d a t e s for t h e i r
vacancies and there are people
like myself being offered a job
but not al lowed to take it. E v e n
i f t h e r e w e r e n o s h o r t a g e o f
c h e m i c a l engineers, some large
companies can certainly absorb
more than they need and m a n
p o w e r is o n e o f t h e m o s t
important assets of a c o m p a n y .
T h e fact that I was offered a j o b
d i d not m e a n that a B r i t i s h
citizen was thrown out of work
or prevented from taking up a
job.
D e s p a i r e d w i t h t h e H o m e
Office decision, I c a m e back to
Col lege and tried to obtain a
scholarship or sponsorship to do
a further degree; by this time,
my degree was known — a very
good second upper.
I r a n i n t o d i f f i c u l t y a g a i n
because I a m not eligible for a
S R C g r a n t a n d m y fa m i l y
cannot afford m y fees a n d l iv ing
expenses ( T u i t i o n fees for over
seas students at Imperial College
are £ 3 , 0 0 0 p a for session 198071,
a m i n i m u m s u m of £ 2 , 7 0 0 p a as
l iv ing expenses is r e c o m m e n d e d
by the L o n d o n Conference on
Overseas Students in consultation
w i t h the B r i t i s h C o u n c i l . ) It
w o u l d be d i f f i c u l t to ask a n
industrial sponsor to pay £ 5 , 7 0 0
a year to support a student for a
further degree, as he might as
w e l l e m p l o y the s t u d e n t a n d
give h i m £ 5 , 5 0 0 p a salary. I was
fortunate enough to get a fees
r e m i s s i o n f r o m the O v e r s e a s
Student Fees Support Scheme.
P r a c t i c a l l y f o r t h e 1 9 8 0 / 1
session I had only need to pay
£ l , 1 0 5 p a , as the tuition fees as I
l imited myself to those projects
and courses which have money
attached to them. I a m grateful
t h a t I c o u l d f i n d s o m e t h i n g
interesting and be sponsored to
do it.
H o w e v e r , there are m a n y sell-
sponsored students, both post- •
g r a d u a t e a n d u n d e r g r a d u a t e ,
who cannot afford the high fees.
It m e a n s that m a n y c a p a b l e
students who are interested in
d o i n g research a n d being e d u
c a t e d are l o s i n g t h e i r o p p o r
tunities. F r o m the College point
of view, it may mean a sub
stantial decrease in the intake of
overseas students. C u r r e n t l y 46%
o f p o s t g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t s at
I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e c a m e f r o m
overseas. C a n the College afford
losing hal f of this 46% of overseas
students?
Small Ads •Cooker, 1 ring electric cooker with grill. Perfect for preparing all your meals. £22 or best offer. Ring Beth on int 3477 (days) or 3673 (evenings). •Suzuki TS 250trail bike, 1976, tax and MOT, light, yet fast in traffic, £325. Contact Dave Green, E E letter-racks or 969-0927.
•Honda 250, R reg, k10 months T&T, £290ono. Liam Spring, Physics 2 letter-racks.
•1973 Ford Escort, fair condition, new exhaust, tyres, brakes, radio spares, reliable runner, £500ono. Contact Andy Thickpenny, RSM Room 201 or telephone 2682.
•Texas T158 calculator, very good condition, £50ono. Please contact Gary Smith, Civ Eng 1 letter-racks. •Envelopes and brown paper: we have a surplus of used envelopes and brown paper. If you would like some, come to the enquiry desk of the Life Sciences Library (level 4, Lyon Playfair Library). •Wanted for Dramsoc production: one large nude lady. Apply Dramsoc Storeroom.
•Wanted: reliable person to collect young child from school. Approx 4:30-5:15, sometimes less, but same rate would be paid. To start in January. Rates are negotiable. Ring 995-6480 after 6:00pm.
•Cleaners needed for the Summer A c commodation Centre from December 15-18. £1.30 per hour. Please apply to the S A C Office, Southside or Room 170, Sherfield Building. • A n y spare furniture, give to me — Simon Shaw, Guilds Office.
•Lost: an original French beret with great sentimental value. Misplaced in College on Wednesday afternoon. Reward for its recovery. Contact Mark Clegg, Mech Eng 2. • G o d will be appearing on November 15. Plenty of S C A B S . •India Soc Cheese and Wine Party is on Wednesday, November12at8:00pm, in the Bot/Zoo Common Room. •Just started: Swimming training sessions from 6:30pm to 7:30pm on Friday nights. All welcome. •Hurry, the last day for submission of articles for the Micro Club Newsletter is November 29. So if you have anything you want included, let me have it as soon as possible. Benny Notarianni, Physics 2.
•Archery: Anyone interested in forming an Archery Club, there is a meeting on Tuesday, November 11 at 12:45pm in the Green Committee Room. If you are unable to attend, but are interested, contact Ramesh Rao, Physics 2. • IC Exploration Board: Students who may be interested in organising, or taking part in, expeditions next summer, are invited to contact the Board Chairman, Dr Schroter on int 3724 or the Secretary, Don Adlington, on int 4205 for preliminary discussion. The Board has its first meeting of the session on November 26 and ideally outline proposals should be submitted well before that date.
•Smokestak, rivvum and blooze. The future of British rock and roll is in your hands. You need the music! We need an audience! Any reasonable gigs considered. Amazing bargain prices. C o n tact 'Eric' Jarvis or Martin (El Ropo) Bayliss c/o IC Radio. Buy now while stocks last.
Page 8 FELIX, November 7, 1980
Hello, it's time to put pen to paper again. Sorry about not going to Windsor last week, but we are definitely going tomorrow, so please all turn up at the RSM Union Ofice at 9:30am for a little Rag collecting, Rag Mag selling and a few drinks. Hope you all enjoyed the fireworks on Wednesday, sorry about the short notice, but we did not think of doing it until last weekend.
In Rag Week, there will be our annual fete, Ragorama, organised by Chaps Club, a Dirty Disco (schoolgirls and dirty old men) and an all girl band for only 50p. We need a design for a raft for the race, piles of rotting matter for Morphy Day, helpers for the float for the procession and heaps of enthusiasm to see us through the week.
There will be an RSM trip to see Caligula soon. See ya. „ . .
Crispin RSM UP
Continuing the long-running saga of an ordinary
student's decline into debauchery, RCS proudly
present the thrills, spills, and bills of the start of
Rag Week.
With the Rag Procession being only a week
away, tomorrow and Sunday afternoon are being
given over to construction of the RCS float. Drop
into the RCSU Office any time after 2:00pm both
days and earn your place on the float in the
procession.
The excesses of Rag Week begin next
Wednesday with the Beer Festival all afternoon in
the JCR. If you want some sort of refuge from all
this animal behaviour you can try to find it in the
RCSU Office and help to produce the Broadsheet
'piss up' edition.
Highlight of Thursday is undoubtedly the RCS
Smoking Concert. Help/advice/sketches, etc.,
etc. should all go to the Ents Chairman, Dave
Thompson, Physics 2.
Rag and Drag is on next Friday night and
tickets will be available shortly. Meanwhile I'm
going away to work out some method of avoiding
Exec torture.
TTFN
PJ
The Lord Mayor's Procession tomorrow; if you
join the crowds get there early, to get a good
place, and give the Guilds float a shout.
Tomorrow evening is the Guilds/IF Kiddies
Party. The idea is to dress up as an under 10; if
you don't, there is a 25p surcharge on top of your
50p ticket, which you can get from the Guilds
Office. You also need to bring a bottle. The party
starts at 8:00pm in the JCR.
Don't miss the UGM on Tuesday. We'll have
some fun and games for you (and so might "you
know-who").
Then Rag week starts on Wednesday fnuff
said).
Andy Dixon
Christian Union
This is the title of a book you should be seeing quite a lot round College next week. It's written by David Watson, and the question is addressed to the supernatural realm, where many people maintain that God exists. The book looks at whether, with mankind and the world in its present state, it is reasonable to take seriously the suggestion that God does exist. It also examines the ways that Christians claim that God has communicated with us, predominantly through Jesus Christ. If God does exist, and is interested in people, this has important consequences for us, and the book looks at how we can relate to God, and how He has made this possible, and what we should do about it.
You've probably guessed by now that the book in being distributed by IC Chrisian Union; we have found in our own experience that what David Watson talks about is true, and we don't want to keep it to ourselves, so why not get hold of a copy? It will be on bookstalls in departments and the JCR during the ICCU Bookweek, next Monday to Friday; the cost is £1.00, but if the grant is wearing thin, talk to someone nicely and they might give you one!
On the subject of questions, we've also arranged a talk next Thursday, November 13 at 6:30pm in Civ Eng 207 on the subject Is Reality Possible?
W h a t ' s o n
Friday, November 7
• C U T a l k : Jesus Said I am the Resurrection, 6:30pm,
Music Room, 53 Princes Gate.
• F r e e D i s c o , 8:00pm, Lower Lounge.
Saturday, November 8
• I C C A G T r i p to Holly St Adventure Playground,
10:00am, Beit Arch. Transport provided.
Sunday, November 9
• W a r g a m e s C l u b M e e t i n g , 1:00pm, SCR.
Monday, November 10
• L i b e r a l C l u b M e e t i n g , 12 :45pm, U p p e r L o u n g e .
• F o l k C l u b Live In The Lounge with 'Eric', Steve and
others, 8:00pm, Union Lower Lounge. Free.
Tuesday, November 11
• A r c h e r y M e e t i n g , 12:45pm, Green Committee Room.
Your attendance will be appreciated.
• S T O I C T r a n s m i s s i o n , 1:00pm, JCR and Halls. See
posters for details.
• M O P S O C Tropical Cyclones, 1:00pm, Physics LT2.
• D e p t o f H u m a n i t i e s present:
1. World War Two: Beyond the Fighting.
3. Deception with Dr Charles Cruickshank
1:30, Read Theatre, Sherfield Building.
2. What's New In Engineering?
3 The Conquest of Height and Distance, with G B
Godfrey, 1:30pm, Pippard Theatre, Sherfield Building.
• R i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , between 1:00pm and 2:00pm,
Elec Eng room 1110.
• C o n s e r v a t i v e S o c i e t y : with Teddy Taylor, 1:30pm,
Maths 139.
• H a w a i i a n W i n d s u r f i n g : films, talks and election of club
officers, 6:30pm, Mech Eng 342.
• P h o t o s o c S o c i a l E v e n i n g , 7:30pm, Stan's Bar. All
members and friends welcome.
• M i c r o c o m p u t e r C l u b m e e t i n g , 7:30pm, Dept of Com
145.
Science Fiction Society
The society's attempt to shorten the impending thirty thousand years of anarchy caused by the continuing publication of Omni proceeds apace (from the Latin " a pace" meaning " to the peace"). This Friday, November 7, in Southside Upper Lounge, at 1:00pm (this boy knows how to build up suspense) ICSF sock will be (he's still at it) selling (wait for it) PERIHELION, the first issue of our new organ (hence the number 6 on the front), a limited edition all signed by the secretary. Yes, Perihelion 6, the magazine which does for SF criticism what Larry Niven did for Christian Barnard. We would have charged £1, but we decided not to gloss the pages, so it only costs 30p (20p for members). Perihelion 6, the magazine of which Christopher Priest said: "I think I've got one of those already".
Coming soonish: a really triffic film from the man who brought you MASH, California Split,
Nashville, etc — Robert Altamn. QUINTET — the show that really hits the ice. To keep their minds off the cold produced by the onset of the next ice age, five people decide to kill Paul Newman. As Sir Robert Mark once said: "I'm convinced it's a major contribution to road safety".
Yours stuimming naked over coral reefs,
A spokesman for IC Science Fiction Sock
Wednesday, November 12
• I n d u s t r i a l S o c i e t y C o n f e r e n c e on The Steel Closures
with Prof Silberston as chair, Huxley 213. The itinerary
will be:
2:00— Introduction
2:15— Film, Steel (from 'Inside Business')
3:00— Sir Charles Villiers
4:00— Tea (free)
4:15— Mr Martin Upham, Research Officer ISTC on
The Closures - an alternative
•5:15- Delegates join work groups to debate the problems
6:00- Group leaders report back to conference on dis
cussions
6:45- Final resolutions on closures prepared by con
ference
7:00- Close of conference
• W a r g a m e s C l u b M e e t i n g , 1:00pm, SCR.
• C a n o e C l u b S l i d e S h o w of 1980 summer tour to the
French Alps, 7:30pm, Union Upper Lounge.
Thursday, November 13
• E c o l o g y P a r t y , 1:00pm, Maths 340.
• S T O I C T r a n s m i s s i o n , 1:00pm and 6:00pm, JCR and
Halls. Featuring News-Break.
• I C G l i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , 5:30, Aero 254
• D e p t o f H u m a n i t i e s presents
1. Film Conquest of the Waters (from 'Life on Earth'),
1:30pm, The Great Hall, Sherfield Building.
2. Lunch-hour Concert with the Jubilus String Quartet,
the Music Room, 53 Princes Gate.
• E N T S F i l m Foul Play, 6:30pm, Mech Eng 220, 40p.
• C U , Is Reality Possible with Chris Coleman, 6:30pm, Civ
Eng 207.
C H I L E A N D L A T I N A M E R I C A N W E E K
November 10- 16 1980
Mon 10, 7pm: A talk by Malcolm Coad.
Tues 11, 7pm: Films, Victor Jara Sings and Message
from Chile.
Wed 12, 7pm: Film: El Salvador, Victory or Death.
Thurs 13, 7pm: Talks, Present Repression and Disap
peared Persons in Chile with relatives of disappeared
prisoners.
Fri 14, 7pm: Poetry reading, Dance and Music.
Sat 15, 7pm: Musical groups, Pueblo and Raul Valencia,
Disco dancing and raffle.
There are exhibitions, Latin American music and food
and drinks every day during Chile and Latin American
Week.
I C L a t i n A m e r i c a n S o c
Friday, November 7: Freshers' Party, 6:30pm,
Lower Refec. Members free, non-members 50p.
Thursday, November 20: Latin American Soc General
Meeting, 12:30, Chem Eng Lecture Theatre 1.
FELIX, November 7, 1980 Page 9
B y B . B . W o l f f e
Hi, I'm back! Hope you missed me.
I notice that while I've been away
the RCS Broadsheet mob have snat
ched the opportunitv to start up their
Rumour, Crud, Scandal column. Well,
what can I say? They seem to have a
preoccupation with people who wear
yellow trousers. They claim this is the
latest trend. Hogwash Sir! Why, I was
wearing yellow trousers when I was in
nappies!
An interesting snippet came to light the other
day. It was learned that the Department of
Computing owns a kosher gown for use at
such occasions as Commemoration Day. We
were intrigued, firstly, that there is such a thing
as a kosher gown (made of synthetic fibres)
and, secondly, why the DoC should want to
purchase one.
Normally, all gowns for Commemoration
Day are borrowed from the University of
London's store; however, when Professor
Manny Lehman, head of DoC, insisted on a
kosher gown they were a little slow on the
uptake. Consequently, the DoC bought Prof
Lehman the gown out of departmental money.
Amazing!
A rather amusing incident occurred in dear old
Weeks Hall recently. A Chinese student with
an obvious concern over the scarcity of such
wonderful accommodation had allowed a
friend to share his humble abode. Not content
with merely risking detection of the offence, he
made absolutely certain that his charitable act
would be revealed by moving a second bed
into his room.
Eagle-eyed warden, Dr Don Monroe, was
quick to catch on. He swooped (hawk-like)
and removed the offending item while the
culprits were away.
Intending to have a firm word with the
chappie (and presumably to reprimand him)
Dr Monroe re-visited the room later and
rapped smartly on the door. He was admitted
following a series of suspicious noises from
inside and was aghast to see a guest. Two
pillows lay adjacent on the floor.
O n asking to inspect the wardrobe, Dr
Monroe was hastily drawn into a discussion
by the occupant involving at least four different
excuses. He feigned interest, but in an instant
deftly flicked open the wardrobe door. Imagine
his surprise when a third Chinaman fell onto
the floor!
Subsequently the founder of the commune
was fined £25 and coughed up without
argument. Well done, Don! That's one in the
eye for Maoism!
B o f t c f a m a RMk
T h e F E L I X Office has recently received a copy
of Sphinx, the L i v e r p o o l A r t s M a g a z i n e .
Considering that Sphinx was a runner-up in
the N U S / G u a r d i a n best magazine awards, it is
a pity that the issue we received contains such
a glaring boo-boo.
O n the back is a Barciaybank C a s h A r o u n d
T h e C l o c k advert. At the end it says: " Y o u ' l l
find your nearest Barciaybank machine at 30
Market Hill o r 35 Sidney Street, C a m b r i d g e " .
Some of us sitting around in the FELIX Office
had an amusing thought the other day. Heard
of Trevor Phillips? Big. Trev was sabbatical
I C U President in 1974/5. Then he was
sabbatical U L U President, then he was
sabbatical president of the London Students'
Organisation (LSO). After that, he was a
sabbatical member of the NUS Exec later to
become sabbatical NUS President.
Someone had the bright idea that he might
actually have a year of his chemistry degree
still to complete.
THIS Dennis Afolabi chappie seems to be
acting like a man who is going to die of an
incurable disease within a couple of months
and wants to go out with a bang. He is going
out of his way to be as objectionable as
possible to as many people as he can in a
very short space of time. Not only is he
getting up Steve Marshall's nose, he's getting
up the Haldane Librarian's as well.
Richard Williams (the Librarian) has
recieved a letter from Mr Afolabi on behalf of
the / . ' ' ro -Car ib Soc demanding that the
library stock the following journals: Africa
(60p monthly), West Africa (30p weekly),
Root (75p monthly), and West Indian World
(30p weekly). The thought behind this is that
as thj Chinese, Turkish, Greek, Arabic, and
Swedish readers have journals in the library,
so should Afro-Carib Soc.
Mr Williams wrote back informing Mr
Afolabi that these Societies bought the
journals themselves and the library very
kindly gave them shelf space; he offered shelf
space to Mr Afolabi for his journals. This was
not good enough for Danny though, who
wrote back asking Mr Williams to justify the
Haldane's subscriptions to Punch and Gay
News in preference to, for example, Root.
T o quote his letter:". . .we would be most
obliged if you could kindly let us know the
reason for taking Gay Neujs but not West
Indian World, and Punch but not Root."
Is this jerk for real?
Stop Press
I have just heard that Diogenes has taken his
cause to the Internal Services Committee.
He is demanding that out of the £120
allocated to the Haldane for subscriptions,
£47.40 should be devoted to his Afro-Carib
journals.
Punch readers unite to stamp out this
verminous filth!
HoMfeat Jcfee S c o u r g e of the Nat West B a n k , J o h n
Whitehouse, has been complaining to the
bank's student liason officer, Tom Cottrell.
John's been wingeing about waiting two weeks
for his service till card. Tom didn't have the
heart to tell him he's been waiting three weeks
for his.
Sfes Scuidwick Mr Mooney, Dietician-In-Chief (DIC for short)
hits the headlines again. Victor Mooney first
found fame with our "Mouldy Chickens" story,
then the rotten food in Southside due to the
cook-freeze abuse.
Recently, a young lady was surprised to find
a slug wriggling about inside a sandwich she
had just purchased from the Union Lower
Refectory. The person at the till tried to calm
her down: "Don't make a fuss, love, just take
another one" . Reticent at the thought of
finding half a slug in her next choice, she
refused and left in disgust.
After she had gone, the person at the cash
desk deftly removed the slug, rearranged the
tomatoes and lettuce and subtly, replaced the
offending sandwich. Just think, Y O U may
have eaten that sarnie, nice thought, huh! I
don't want to cast aspersions, but just how
many of Mooney's sandwich makers roll
bogies mid sandwich or don't wash their hands
after going to the toilet?
In my time at College I've found one hairpin,
five hairs (and dandruff), 27 assorted pieces of
plastic, one cockroach leg, three pairs of false
teeth, a nail file, two big toe nails, one false
eyeball, an Irish 5p, a 3amp fuse, a ball point
pen refill, a cabbage white pupa, a false
eyelash, a contact lens, a golf tee, and a small
piece of paper with the word B O A Z written on
it. Is this a record?
Page 10 FELIX, November 7, 1980
Wednesday, Oct 29 Rugby Rugby 1st X V V V i n e S t P o l i c e 4-6 1st X V V C h e s h u n t 1 3-67
C & G l s t s V Q M C l s t s 8-29 2 n d X V V C h e s h u n t 2 0-68
C & G 2 n d s V Q M C 2 n d s 18-4 R C S V B P 29-8
Football Footbal l
I C 1st X I V B e d f o r d 0-0 I C 7 X I V L S E 7-3
I C 2 n d X I V B e d f o r d 4-2 H o c k e y
H o c k e y I C 1st X I V O M T 2-2
1st X I V R o y a l H o l l o w a y 8-1 I C 2 n d X I V A l e x H o w d e n 13-0
G u i l d s V G o l d s m i t h s 7-0 L a d i e s V R o y a l H o l l o w a y 0-10
RSM Football AFTER a great start by RCV (they won the
toss) the game kicked off, under the direction
of the ref, new to the game. Inspired by this
RSM started to play some decent football and
bar a few misunderstandings between the ref
and the laws, RSM managed to score the first
goal, well taken by T Hanker. This brought
RCV (and the ref) to action and for a while
RSM defended well though not well enough
since RCV scored to make the goal tally
equal. With the ref now venturing from the
centre circle both teams were spurred on to
even greater efforts by this show of
confidence, and soon after RSM got another
goal, this time from James W.
Football Seconds TWO BEDFORD goals mid-way through the
second half made IC fight to win a match
which should have been won easily.
IC dominated the first half, without creating
many clear cut chances and at half-time the
score was 0-0.
Soon after the break, however, Clarke shot
fiercely from a narrow angle to give IC the
lead. The team began to play with confidence
and went further ahead when Veenman
slotted his shot past the approaching keeper.
Two well taken Bedford goals, drew the
score level at 2-2.
With the possibility of a draw against such
mediocre opposition, IC stepped up the effort
once more and regained the lead when Carr
heapfe'd a lose ball over a stranded keeper. IC
finally finished off the opposition when a shot
from Niccolls entered the net.
TEAM: Veats, Curran, Beer, Armstrong,
MacDonald, Griffiths, Carr, Niccolls,
Veenman, Clarke, Saunders.
Guilds Hockey A F T E R a well -contested start in which
Goldsmiths looked a competent team, Forbes
opened the scoring with rather a limp shot. In
minutes, Guilds were two up with a short
corner put away by Andy Liles. Gui lds
pressed forward and were rewarded by a
somewhat dubious goal from Gray. Gold
smiths lost a man at half-time and Guilds
controlled the game for the rest of the match,
with Andy Liles completing his hat-trick from
short corners. Andy Garms and Chris Liles
also netted in neat solo efforts. Guilds missed
a lot of chances but overall it was a good team
effort.
TEAM: Hancox, Shaw, Rao, Black, Eldridge,
Liles A, Forbes, Garms, Gray, Liles C. Driver
and ref, Webb P.
Compiled by
Phil Webb,
Sports Editor.
Saturday, Nov 1
RCS Rugby SINCE so many people want to play in our one team, it was decided to play a Saturday match for those people who weren't regulars.
A team of 12 eventually took the field against an ageing 14-man BP team. Phil Morgans and Ian Mawer proved to be too fast for the opposition backs, and were rewarded with three and one tries respectively. Morgans proved as elusive in the bar as he was on the field, and avoided buying a hat-trick jug. Dave Fenton scored his first (and probably last) try of the season, three conversions and a penalty were kicked by Skipper Latham. Chris Boyd made his presence felt in the back row, and was not responsible for either of the two tries scored against us.
We spent a pleasant hour in the clubhouse after the match, and my thanks to those heroes who turned out: Edwards, Curnock, O ' D o h e r t y , P i l g r i m , M o r g a n s , Mawer, Latham, Pearce, Fenton, Ellwitt and two Smiths.
Football Sevenths THE NEWLY FORMED IC VII team slammed
seven goals past LSE Vths in a 7-3 victory.
The team quickly began to perform as a well
c o o r d i n a t e d unit , p u t t i n g L S E u n d e r
pressure. IC went two nil up with fine goals
from Bartolomasi and Martin. At this stage
LSE staged a comeback, and as IC relaxed
they scored three quick goals to lead 3-2 at
half-time, having forced Rijnbeek into making
to fine saves.
As the second half wore on IC gained a
stranglehold on midfield, where the main
battle was being fought, and were able to set
up many attacks with only twenty minutes
remaining Caseau levelled with a header.
Then Milner put IC 4-3 up. Further goals from
Milner and centre-half Haberlin (2) ensured
an emphatic win for IC. This was a good,
confident display from IC VII and demo-
strates the high quality of football at IC this
year.
T E A M : Rijnbeek, Wilson (sub Bird),
Maynard, Know, Haberlin, Caseau, Gaskill,
Martin (sub Twyford), Milner, Bartolomasi,
Coussens.
Hockey Firsts I C S T H I R D G A M E this season in the
Middlesex League turned out to be their
toughest fixture so far.
From the start O M T s were obviously
determined to get a result from this game and
attacked hard and fast. But for the first ten
minutes IC gave as good as they got and
| eventually scored through a well struck shot
corner from Ian Crowe.
Then IC made the mistake of relaxing and by half-time OMTs had been allowed control of the game and had scored twice to take the lead.
Positional changes at half-time strengthened IC's midfield and saw them gradually claw their way back into the match. About fifteen minutes from the end, IC levelled the score with a perfectly executed short corner through Ian Crowe.
For the last ten minutes IC really dominated the match and were unlucky several times not to score the winning goal.
T E A M : Webb, Crowe, Hughes, Coates-worth, Riley, Whitaker, Clarke, Franklin, Gatley, Ayres, Rich.
Hockey Seconds THE SECONDS extended their 100% record
last Saturday in a hard fought match in which
the IC goalkeeper was constantly kept under
heavy pressure. IC had great difficulty in
breaking down a well regimented Howden
defence, and it was not until after thirty
seconds that we managed to open the
scoring.
After this, despite centre forward Spanker
doing his best to miss the goal, IC soon
increased their lead, with Streaker scoring a
stonker of a goal.
The second half started much like the first,
with the IC goalkeeper again being kept very
busy.
Full time came with relief, the 13-0
scoreline telling the full story of what a hard
fought battle it had been.
Special mention must go to Mike Chew and
Andy Garms who scored five goals each, ana
to Lloyd Williams who sportingly played in
goal for the opposition.
TEAM: Williams, Parker, Rampton, Bird,
Shaw, Chew, Garms, Rao, Streaker, Gray,
Shindter, Masom.
Squash AT LAST, IC Squash Club has four good
courts. We have four teams in the U L U
leagues with a ladies' team hopefully joining
the ladies' league after Christmas . The
standard of all the teams is, as usual, fairly
high, with the thirds making a very good start
to the season. However, we have still to
assess the ability of several people, so don't
despair if you haven't played for a team yet.
Thanks to swift Jacqueline Chandler for
organising the ladies and to all the squash
socialites of last Thursday.
Richard Thompson
IC Squash Captain
Tennis THE RULES and groups for the winter round-
robin tournament are now on the tennis
noticeboard in the Sports Centre, so get your
matches arranged as quickly as possible. (If
there are) any queries about either groups or
the rules please contact Tony Tsoukkas, Civ
Eng 3.
Snooker THE B TEAM returned to form and beat Charing Cross 3-2. S Bennett managed to extend his unbeaten run to two frames and is confident about this week's encounter with the C team. Training for all B team members starts at 8:30am on Sunday morning.
The A team just managed to win against LSE 3-2. They are now in danger of early morning training and losing their prestigious position in the snooker league.
A 'Doubles Tournament' is being run within the next few weeks and entrants names are now being taken.
FELIX, November 7, 1980 Page 1 1
Erratum
William Cortazzi has asked me to point out
that he is not IC's resident fascist as reported
in last week's F E L I X . We would wish to
apologise for any confusion that this may have
caused.
CB Radio
Thanks to the Ferret and G8RRD for their
summing up letters on the C B issue. The topic
was a new one to me and I now feel quite well
J formed on the subject. However, the topic is
now closed in the letters page.
Aunt Died re
Please find enclosed a new cartoon series
entirely created from next to nothing by myself
(artist) and Simon Turner (writist). We hope
you will find it stimulating for the rest of the
year and advise you to keep your back issues
to be able to appreciate it fully. Hope you enjoy
reading it as much as we enjoyed creating it.
We need you
If you want to come and join the happy bunch
working on FELIX, don't get thinking it's too
late, we always need people.
We need more people who take photos and
develop them. We need photos quickly which
means films have to be developed and printed
up almost immediately. We do, of course, pay
expenses.
We need people to write news stories, paste
up pages, typeset, collate on Thursday, etc.,
etc. You needn't have any prior experience,
you'll pick at us as you go along.
I would ask, though, that you bear with us;
producing a paper every week is very hectic —
while we want to attract and encourage staff
we also have to get the paper out. We need
hardened souls who can cope with deadline
panics.
On Thursday night, we collate FELIX, this is
usually quite sociable (shouting above the
noise of the folding machine, slagging off the
Union Exec, etc., etc.). Let's face it, putting
together 4,000 copies of FELIX by hand is so
deathly boring that we have to do something to
relieve the tedium. This will undoubtedly
explain the topless dancer many of you will
have seen if you have passed the office on
Thursday night.
Join the 24-hour, nearly 7 days a week club.
Join FELIX and see the sun rise!
Southside Security Survey
Last Monday morning at 4:00am, I conducted
a security survey of Southside. The freedom of
access to the building has been the subject of
much discussion following the violent incident
in Keogh last week and the rape last term.
I have concluded that it is extremely easy for
anyone (without a key) to gain access to
Southside at the moment.
The Keogh/Selkirk main door was locked
just as it usually is, but the Falmouth/Tizard
doors were not; efficient door-closers must be
fitted to these doors.
I was very surprised to see the fire escape
doors at the Falmouth/Tizard end actually
back on their hinges after my editorial
complaint last week. I was even more
surprised to see how they were locked. In the
past, the two fire escape doors at each end of
Southside automatically unlocked when the
firebell was triggered. However, on Sunday
and at the time of writing (Wednesday
evening) these doors were fastened shut with a
bolt attached to the inside of the door. These
bolts were easily unlocked by slipping one's
hand through the door slats from the outside,
thus offering 24-hour easy access to
Southside.
Monday morning, I phoned Captain Lindley
(Domestic Secretary) who was unavailable for
comment. I then phoned Bob Foggon, Fire and
Safety Officer who didn't like the arrangement
from a safety point of view as the doors should
automatically open in case of fire, and not be
bolted up. Mr Reeves, Chief Security Officer,
told me that all doors in College were being
improved from a security point of view and the
fire-bell-triggered opening of these doors was
at present being improved by the Estates
department, hence the temporary bolts.
IN C O N C L U S I O N ; I find this whole
situation totally unsatisfactory. At the
moment, the doors pose a safety and security
h a z a r d to S o u t h s i d e residents . While
accepting maintenance is necessary, it is
taking far too long for the Estates department
to pull their fingers out. And putting a bolt on
the inside which one can open from the
outside seems, to me at least, a pretty poor
substitute for security. It would be a simple
matter to prevent access to the bolt from the
outside.
Southside Plant
Well, that was a wizard wheeze last week
wasn't it? Within two hours of FELIX 'hitting
the streets' the offending plant had been
watered and someone had cut all the dead
leaves off.
Talk about 'Power of the Press'. Wow!
Stop Press:
Bob Foggon has informed me (Thursday) that
is likely that the firebell-triggered doors will
come into operation from early next week, and
the bolts will be removed.
To meet the occasion of a fire where the
firebell is not triggered, a fire alarm will be'
situated near the escape doors.
Blood Doninq
I forgot to include a blood doning ad last
week. Doning took place yesterday and will
be on today in the Union Dining Hall until
12:00 noon and in the afternoon from 2:00pm
to 4:00pm.
Thanks to . . . .
Patrick, Caroline, Mark, Eric, Steve, Phil,
Colin, Shanne, Dave, Chris, Doris, and her
friends, BB, Ian, Maz and God knows who
else.
Puzzle Corner By Scaramouche
Meanwhile, back at Primelia College, the
professor of logic has lost his Occam Razor
(used for splitting hairs). Being certain he has lent
it to ot,e of his final year students, he asked
them about it.
Amble said: I borrowed it from Eager at
least t\Ace, and lent it to Clumsy once. I
never lent it to Bumble.
Bumble said: Whenever I lent it to Amble
or Clumsy (and I'm not sure that I ever did) I
had just borrowed it from Eager.
Clumsy said: I lent it to Bumble, Eager,
and Fumble just once each.
Drudge said: It passed once between each
of the others and me.
Eager said: I lent it to Fumble once. I'm
not sure if he gave it straight back, but he
never gave it to me on any other occasion. I
never borrowed it from Bumble, but if I lent
it to him, then I never borrowed it from the
man who has it now.
Fumble said: It passed between me and
Bumble once. I never lent it to Amble or
Clumsy.
The professor drew a deep breath and
several c o m p l i c a t e d diagrams, finally
concluding that a certain number of his
students could be excluded from his list of
suspects.
Which ones?
Solutions, comments and criticisms to me
c/o FEUX Office. There will be a prize of £2
for the first correct solution opened at noon on
Tuesday.
Last Week's Solution
10 and 11.
Since Splinter could not solve the problem
he'was set, there are two solutions to x 2 + y 2 =
k for k fixed, not divisible by 5, and less than
260. 102 + l l 2 = 142 + a 2 = 221 is the only
solution. If anyone can explain to me why
there are so many values for k which are
divisible by 5 (50, 65, 85, 125, 145....) but only
one value which isn't, I will be most grateful.
It helps to find the solution if you notice that
a 2 + b 2 = c 2 + d 2 if a 2 - c 2 = d 2 - b 2 = (a+c)(a-c) =
(d+b)(d-b).
Lots of people assumed that "roughly the
same age" meant "the difference in ages is one
year". Although it isn't necessary to assume
this to solve the puzzle, it does lead to the
correct answer, and offered a short cut which I
hadn't bargained for. Consequently several
people submitted corrected entries. Tim
Lawes, Maths 3, is the lucky winner, and he
can collect his prize from the FELIX Office.
PHOTOSOC flan sale, 12:45 to 1:15pm
Tues, Old Darkroom, Beit Quad.
C O L O U R PRINT FILM
KodacolourH Instamatic C110-20 £1.20
Kodacolour 400 Instamatic C G 110-20 1.35
Kodacolour II 35mm C 135 36 1.80
Kodacolour 400 35mm C G 135-36 2.20
C O L O U R SLIDE FILM
Kodachrome KM 135 36 £3.95
Kodachrome 64 35mm KR 135 36 3.95
Extachrome 400 35mm EL 135 36 3.50
Ektachrome 160 35mm Tungsten
B L A C K A N D WHITE PRINT FILM
Word FP4 & HP5 35mm 35exp £1.30
Diord FP4 & HP5 35mm 5 metres 2.50
Kodak Tri-X 35mm 36exp 1.40
Kodak Tri-x 35mm 4.50
PAPER AND CHEMICALS TO ORDER.
FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London,
SW7 2BB. (589 5111 ext. 1048/int. 2881) Copyright FEUX 1980. Editor: S.J. Marshall, Advertising Manager: MA. Smith. Registered at the GPO as a newspaper.