F O U N D E D IN 1949 NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

F r e m l i n P o t Dar t s f i na l I F O n l y X -word Sport R e v i e w s

P3 P3 P4

p 7 & 8 P 6

N o . 419 F r i day 14th May , 1976 F R E E !

Telephone Bills- PO errors or student fiddle?

ePO backs down on 2 Hall bills

C O N F U S I O N NOW surrounds the profi tabi l i ty of ' ca l l -box '

phones in h a l l s of res idence fol lowing Monday's meeting of

the F i n a n c e Sub-Committee of the C o l l e g e Student R e s i d e n c e

Committee (SRC)*. At the meeting Wardens and student

representat ives heard that b i l l s from the Post Of f ice (PO)

for the use of these phones exceeded cash rec iepts by a

staggering £ 4 , 9 0 5 for this s e s s i o n alone'.

The f igures presented to the meet ing showed d e f i c i t s of £1338 for the B e i t H a l l P h o n e s , £1548 for those i n T i z a r d H a l l and £1578 for those in L i n s t e a d H a l l . T h i s in format ion w a s con­

f i rmed by the C o l l e g e f i nance department on Wednesday.

Investigation

The C o l l e g e ' has a s k e d the

P O to inves t iga te the d i s ­

c repanc ies to e l im ina te any

p o s s i b i l i t y o f meter errors at

thei r e n d . Jus t pr ior to go ing

to p ress F E L I X unders tands

that the P o s t O f f i ce has

b a c k e d down over the i r b i l l s

for T i z a r d and L i n s t e a d H a l l s .

T h e y have yet to report b a c k

on the b i l l for B e i t H a l l .

There i s a strong l i k e l i h o o d

that they w i l l back down here

as w e l l s i nce one phone in

B e i t w a s b i l l e d for an ex t r a ­

ord inary £600 in F e b r u a r y .

" N o comment"

C o n t a c t e d by F E L I X , the

P O d e c l i n e d to comment on the

d i s c r e p a n c i e s and a spokesman

for the E n g i n e e r i n g department

sa id i t was s t r i c t l y a matter

be tween IC and the P o s t

O f f i c e .

The current s i tua t ion a r i ses

because C o l l e g e o f f i c i a l s empty

the ' c a l l - b o x ' phones every

two weeks and the P O b i l l

I C by the i r meter read ings at

P O exchange every month.

L a s t year the C o l l e g e made a net l o s s o f £83 for a l l the c a l l - b o x phones in h a l l s of r es ­i d e n c e . U n t i l F e b r u a r y , the S R C had budgeted for the same l o s s th is year . H o w e v e r , phone

b i l l s then i n c r e a s e d the e s t i m ­ate to £775. L a s t Monday , t h i s f igure w a s aga in r a i s e d , th i s time to £5,000, i n the wake of the P o s t O f f i ce b i l l s .

T h e f igures have brought to the sur face the state of d i s rep ­a i r of some P . O . phones in the h a l l s . R o n K i l l , subwarden of T i z a r d H a l l , comp la ined that 'the phones are not maintained

properly'. Fur ther , one of the T i z a r d phones i s current ly g i v ­ing free c a l l s . Mr K i l l w a s unaware whether th i s had been reported to the C o l l e g e or the G . P . O .

Ano the r i nc iden t occu red l a s t Feb rua ry (197 5) whe n two phone s i n L i n s t e a d H a l l were fo rc ib ly robbed.

Author i t ies baffled

A t present the C o l l e g e au th ­o r i t i es are ba f f l ed by the phone b i l l d i s c r e p a n c i e s , other than sugges t ing a m is take at the P o s t O f f i c e end . Neve r t he l es s i n 1973 a former I C student was p rosecu ted for f raudulent use of G . P . O . phones at I C . A t that t ime the C o l l e g e w a s concerned over the number of s tudents ob ta in ing free c a l l s by us ing e n g i n e e r s * s p e c i a l c o d e s . F E L I X understands that t h i s loopho le has now been c l o s e d .

Other i l l e g a l p r a c t i c e s i n th is f i e l d inc lude the use of ' tone b o x e s ' and w i re tapping to e l e c t r i c a l l y s imu la te the i n ­ser t i on of c o i n s . A te lephone eng ineer conac ted by F E L I X s a i d that e laborate methods wou l d be requ i red to a c c o m p l i s h t h i s . H e d i d not say that e i ther were beyond the ingenui ty o f I C s tuden ts .

AGM report A t the A G M yes te rday B i l l

G e r ra rd , R o n K i l l and J o h n Downs were awarded the U n i o n G ene r a l A w a r d by IC U n i o n p res iden t P e t e r T e a g u e . T h e awards were made in recogn i t ion o f the i r s e r v i c e s to the U n i o n .

S o c i a l C o l o u r s and A C C A t h l e t i c C o l o u r s were a l s o aw­arded . Ian Morse and G i l l M c -C o n w a y , the two fu l l - t ime staf f who work on F E L I X , were awarded S o c i a l C o l o u r s as was John M c C l o s k e y who has been the F E L I X T e c h n i c a l Manager for the pas t two y e a r s .

T h e meet ing a l s o d i s c u s s e d h a l l and house rents and re fec ­tory p r i c e s . It had been d e c ­ided at an S R C meet ing that there w o u l d be attempts to make the res i dence accoun ts break even next yea r . H o w e v e r , t h i s wou ld mean a 30% inc rease i n

rents to r a i s e the £80,000 requ­i red .

Sou ths ide h a l l rents wou ld go up from £7.25 to £9.40 and house rents for s i ng l e rooms from £6.20 to over £7.

The meet ing d e c i d e d that any rent i n c r e a s e s must keep rents w i t h i n the na t iona l e lement for accommodat ion as a l l o w e d i n the student grant.

A 10% f la t i nc rease i n re fec ­tory p r i c e s and a l l o w i n g them to f loa t w i th commodi ty p r i ces had been put forward by the Ca te r i ng Manager , but the p roposa l met w i th a c o o l r e c e p t i o n . In v iew of the U n i o n ' s p o l i c y that r e f e c ­tory p r i c e s shou ld on ly go up once a y e a r , a sugges t i on by John Downs that we opt for a large f la t percentage inc rease seems l i k e l y to be the l ine f o l ­l owed in nego t ia t ions w i th the C o l l e g e .

Jez conks out J E Z , the R C S ' s 1916 D e n n i s

f i re eng ine , suf fered severe

damage when she broke down on

K i n g ' s R o a d , C h e l s e a l a s t

Sunday af ternoon. T h e damage

c a u s e d i s es t ima ted at over

£1000.

The f i re eng ine stut tered to

a hu l t w i th p i e c e s of metal lef t

t r a i l i ng beh ind i t . It appears

that a camshaf t j ou rna l moved

in to the path of the N o . 3

con-rod wh i ch bent the other

camshaf t and broke the con- rod .

T h i s con- rod then c racked the

p i s t o n and put ho les i n the

crank c a s e and sump.

J e z w a s towed back to i ts

garage beh ind the B i o c h e m i s t r y

b u i l d i n g by E x p l o r a t i o n B o a r d ' s

K - 9 lo r ry .

E a r l i e r in the day , J e z had

taken part in the F E L I X T reasu re

Hunt w h i c h was narrowly won

by the B o ' team. B e a t e n into

second p l a c e were the R C S

second team of Dave Dodge ,

Graham P a t e r s o n and N i g e l

D a v i e s .

T h i s w a s the s e c o n d t reasure

hunt o rgan i se d by F E L K and a

f u l l comple tent of teams from

each C C U took part . T h e

con tes tan ts found the c l u e s

so d i f f i c u l t that, i n re t r ibu t ion ,

some of them dumped P a u l

B e n t l e y ' s ca r i ns i de B e i t

A r c h w a y thus b l o c k i n g i t .

At tempts to put the car ins ide

the F E L I X O f f i c e f a i l e d

b e c a u s e the doors are not

w ide enough.

JHLL&. ——

1

s m a l l a d s SIR ARTHUR ACLAND ENGLISH ESSAY PRIZE

1976-77

1. T h e ob jec t o f the compet i t i on i s to encourage good

wr i t ing of E n g l i s h .

2. The compet i t i on i s open to a l l reg is te red s tudents of

the C o l l e g e

3. E s s a y s must reach the R e g i s t r a r not la ter than 1 March

1977.

4 . A to ta l of £50 i s a v a i l a b l e for the award of up to f ive

p r i z e s .

5. A s u c c e s s f u l cand ida te may not compete a g a i n .

6 . P r i z e e s s a y s may be p u b l i s h e d sub jec t to the p e r m i s s i o n

of the C o l l e g e .

7 . A cand ida te must submit an o r i g i na l E n g l i s h e s s a y of

about 3,000 to 5,000 words i n length on one of the

sugges ted sub jec t s l i s t e d be low or on any top ic of h i s

c h o i c e . A l l e s s a y s shou ld be read i l y unders tandab le to

the n o n - s p e c i a l i s t reader .

S e r i o u s n e s s and so lemn i t y .

T h e cu l t u ra l va l ue of the " u s e f u l n e s s " o f s c i e n c e .

T h e ro le of imag ina t ion in s c i e n c e and in l i te ra tu re .

T h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y of the p r o f e s s i o n a l eng ineer in

s o c i e t y .

P r o b l e m s i n the t ransfer of techno logy to under ,

deve loped c o u n t r i e s .

T h e future of r e l i g i o n and the r e l i g i o n o f the future.

ICWA AGM SUB-WARDENSHIPS

. A p p l i c a t i o n i s i nv i t ed

T o d a y gasp . f r o m a n y w o m a n m e m b e r 0 f

At l unch t ime , no l e s s . s t a f f o r a n y u n m a r r i e d

i r - W A ? woman student who w i l l be

I C W A L o u n g e a postgraduate next s e s s i o n ,

— • for the pos t of L a d y Sub-

W I N E T A S T I N G S O C I E T Y Warden of B e i t H a l l , wh i ch

Informal supper and tas t i ng w

i f

H

become vacan t w i t h

i n P h y s i c s l e v e l 8 Common ? Q ~ ^ « i S e S S

' °n

Room at 5.45pm. Wine 1 9 7 6 / 7 7 . S ing le room

compet i t i on w i th a d i f f e rence . accommodat ion in B e . t H a

5.45pm on T u e s 25th M a y . !s

ava i lab le_ and a s m a l l

U n i o n S C R . honorar ium i s p a i d . T h e I arlv Sub-Warden w i l l hp

External A f f a i r s expec ted to take an ac t i ve

. in teres t in the s o c i a l l i f e of

There w i l l be a meet ing o f t n e Hal l and to work c l o s e l y

the IC U n i o n E x t e r n a l w i t h t h e W a r d e n .

A f f a i r s Commi t tee on A p p l i c a t i o n s to D r C

Monday 17th at 12.30pm i n H a l l s > warden o f B e i t H a l l ,

the U n i o n Senior Common t o be r e c e i v e d not la te r than R o o m

- 28th M a y .

F O L K EVENING» X W O A S S I S T A N T S U B -

i n W A R D E N S (one m a l e , one

MTwiwr- u n u c r j female) are requ i red in

M I N I N G H O U S E Fa lmou th H a l l from the

on Wed 19th May s e s s i o n 1976/77. A p p l i c a t i o n s

at 8.00pm are i nv i t ed for these pos ts

Re f reshments A v a i l a b l e f r o m s i n g l e postgraduate

Eve ryone w e l c o m e , s tuden ts . T h e Sub-Wardens

e s p e c i a l l y s i n g e r s . w i l l be expec ted to a s s i s t

_ • v p the Warden in h i s d u t i e s ,

LORRY TRIP a n d s i n g l e study-bedroom

Th ree p l a c e s are a v a i l a b l e accommodat ion wou ld be

in a lorry go ing out to p rov ided rent- f ree.

P a k i s t a n on 23rd J u n e . If A p p l i c a t i o n s to Dr D M

in te res ted contac t D e n y s Monro, Warden of F a l m o u t h

Whi t ley , C i v E n g 3. H a l l , to be r e c e i v e d not

i . A n i P Q j A r K P T Q l a t e r t h a n 2 8 t h M a y I 9 7 6

'

Wholesa le out le t o f ve l ve t ISLAM and other j a c k e t s from top E x h i b i t i o n of books in the

L o n d o n fash ion h o u s e . L y o n P l a y f a i r L i b r a r y .

£15 - £20 L e v e l one . 10th May t i l l

Con tac t M ike in Se l k i r k 482 4th J u n e .

SIR ARTHUR ACLAND ENGLISH ESSAY PRIZE

1976-77

1. T h e ob jec t o f the compet i t i on i s to encourage good

wr i t ing of E n g l i s h .

2. The compet i t i on i s open to a l l reg is te red s tudents of

the C o l l e g e

3. E s s a y s must reach the R e g i s t r a r not la ter than 1 March

1977.

4 . A to ta l of £50 i s a v a i l a b l e for the award of up to f ive

p r i z e s .

5. A s u c c e s s f u l cand ida te may not compete a g a i n .

6 . P r i z e e s s a y s may be p u b l i s h e d sub jec t to the p e r m i s s i o n

of the C o l l e g e .

7 . A cand ida te must submit an o r i g i na l E n g l i s h e s s a y of

about 3,000 to 5,000 words i n length on one of the

sugges ted sub jec t s l i s t e d be low or on any top ic of h i s

c h o i c e . A l l e s s a y s shou ld be read i l y unders tandab le to

the n o n - s p e c i a l i s t reader .

S e r i o u s n e s s and so lemn i t y .

T h e cu l t u ra l va l ue of the " u s e f u l n e s s " o f s c i e n c e .

T h e ro le of imag ina t ion in s c i e n c e and in l i te ra tu re .

T h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y of the p r o f e s s i o n a l eng ineer in

s o c i e t y .

P r o b l e m s i n the t ransfer of techno logy to under ,

deve loped c o u n t r i e s .

T h e future of r e l i g i o n and the r e l i g i o n o f the future.

ICWA AGM SUB-WARDENSHIPS

. A p p l i c a t i o n i s i nv i t ed

T o d a y gasp . f r o m a n y w o m a n m e m b e r 0 f

At l unch t ime , no l e s s . s t a f f o r a n y u n m a r r i e d

i r - W A ? woman student who w i l l be

I C W A L o u n g e a postgraduate next s e s s i o n ,

— • for the pos t of L a d y Sub-

W I N E T A S T I N G S O C I E T Y Warden of B e i t H a l l , wh i ch

Informal supper and tas t i ng w

i f

H

become vacan t w i t h

i n P h y s i c s l e v e l 8 Common ? Q ~ ^ « i S e S S

' °n

Room at 5.45pm. Wine 1 9 7 6 / 7 7 . S ing le room

compet i t i on w i th a d i f f e rence . accommodat ion in B e . t H a

5.45pm on T u e s 25th M a y . !s

ava i lab le_ and a s m a l l

U n i o n S C R . honorar ium i s p a i d . T h e I arlv Sub-Warden w i l l hp

External A f f a i r s expec ted to take an ac t i ve

. in teres t in the s o c i a l l i f e of

There w i l l be a meet ing o f t n e Hal l and to work c l o s e l y

the IC U n i o n E x t e r n a l w i t h t h e W a r d e n .

A f f a i r s Commi t tee on A p p l i c a t i o n s to D r C

Monday 17th at 12.30pm i n H a l l s > warden o f B e i t H a l l ,

the U n i o n Senior Common t o be r e c e i v e d not la te r than R o o m

- 28th M a y .

F O L K EVENING» X W O A S S I S T A N T S U B -

i n W A R D E N S (one m a l e , one

MTwiwr- u n u c r j female) are requ i red in

M I N I N G H O U S E Fa lmou th H a l l from the

on Wed 19th May s e s s i o n 1976/77. A p p l i c a t i o n s

at 8.00pm are i nv i t ed for these pos ts

Re f reshments A v a i l a b l e f r o m s i n g l e postgraduate

Eve ryone w e l c o m e , s tuden ts . T h e Sub-Wardens

e s p e c i a l l y s i n g e r s . w i l l be expec ted to a s s i s t

_ • v p the Warden in h i s d u t i e s ,

LORRY TRIP a n d s i n g l e study-bedroom

Th ree p l a c e s are a v a i l a b l e accommodat ion wou ld be

in a lorry go ing out to p rov ided rent- f ree.

P a k i s t a n on 23rd J u n e . If A p p l i c a t i o n s to Dr D M

in te res ted contac t D e n y s Monro, Warden of F a l m o u t h

Whi t ley , C i v E n g 3. H a l l , to be r e c e i v e d not

i . A n i P Q j A r K P T Q l a t e r t h a n 2 8 t h M a y I 9 7 6

'

Wholesa le out le t o f ve l ve t ISLAM and other j a c k e t s from top E x h i b i t i o n of books in the

L o n d o n fash ion h o u s e . L y o n P l a y f a i r L i b r a r y .

£15 - £20 L e v e l one . 10th May t i l l

Con tac t M ike in Se l k i r k 482 4th J u n e .

SUMMER F L A T S If anyone has a f lat they

wou ld l i k e to let to IC

s tudents over the summer

v a c a t i o n or i f they wou ld

l i k e to rent one, cou ld

they p l e a s e see D a v e

R a w n s l e y (Student R e s i d e n c e

o f f i ce r ) in the U n i o n O f f i c e .

FOR SALE

P h i l i p s 202 e l e c t r o n i c deck ,

G P 412 e l i p t i c a l s t y l u s

ca r t r idge , S i n c l a i r 3000

amp l i f i e r , Wharfedale Me l ton

2 speake rs and K O S S

headphones . £160. C o n t a c t

F rank H ibbe r t , C i v E n g I,

31 Weeks H a l l . T e l : 589 9609

or int 4238 .

D i s c u s s i o n P r o g r a m m e

A sma l l number of peop le

have s a i d that they wou ld

be in te res ted in tak ing part

in a t e l e v i s i o n d i s c u s s i o n

programme. T h i s w i l l be

t ransmi t ted l i ve on B B 2 from

th i s Sunday. If anyone e l s e

i s i n te res ted , wou ld they

p l e a s e contac t De r r i ck

Eve re t t in the U n i o n O f f i c e

( int 3915).

FOR SALE A K A I 4000 D B . 1 year o l d .

G o o d c o n d i t i o n . £165 ono.

( P r i c e i n c l u s i v e o f K O S S

headphones K O 727 B in

good n i c k , dust cove r and

spare spoo l ) . Con tac t P a u l

E k p e n y o n g i n the F E L I X

o f f i c e Int 2881 .

Bear IC on your chest!

Wear the all new IC Sweat Shirt

Available NOW from IC Union Office

Only £3.00 and all profits to RAG!

Colours: Red, sky-blue, navy, bottle green, maroon, black

and white

Sizes: X-large, large, medium, and small

Printing: White on all colours and Royal on the White shirts

F i l l

The Fremlin Cup Final

Moorhouse makes

it at last! L a s t Monday s a w the

cu lm ina t i on o f t h i s y e a r ' s

f i r ece l y con tes ted compe t i t i on

for the c o v e t e d , dar ts s i n g l e s ,

knock-out t rophy, the F r e m l i n

P o t . T h e record entry of 40

had been reduced to the e ight

quarter f i n a l i s t s who were

pa i red thus: - Tom A d e y v

Andy G r i b b l e ; Steve Jones v

Mike G i b s o n ; A n d y S l a c k v

Steve Moorhouse and A l a n

What l ing v R i c h a r d Parmentero

F o r those in t r igued by

c o i n c i d e n c e s a l l the t o s s e s

came up heads and the p laye r

from the bottom ha l f draw won

2—0, though those s c o r e l i n e s

might be m i s l e a d i n g w i th

respec t to the qua l i t y o f p lay

i n these ma t ches . D e s p i t e the

c o n s i d e r a b l e t e n s i o n i n v o l v e d ,

the f i n a l s were of a h igh

s tandard and prov ided a great

dea l of enter ta inment on the

night . T h e h ighes t score in th is

round and , in fac t , of the who le

even ing w a s A n d y G r i b b l e ' s

137 (60 20 57) who on l y had

123 to get at the t ime.

Competent f i n i s h i n g proved

to be the d e c i s i v e fac tor i n

these matches and the semi­

f i n a l s were no e x c e p t i o n .

D e s p i t e the w i l d l y f l uc tua t ing

s c o r e , p l aye rs tended to

f i n i s h together w h i c h meant

that the s low sco re rs were

ab le to take advantage of the

fas ter s c o r e r s ' poor f i n i s h i n g

a b i l i t y . T h u s Steve Moorhouse

and Mike G i b s o n ran out winners]

over R i c h a r d Parmenter and

Andy Gr i bb le r e s p e c t i v e l y .

The s tage was then set for

a tense , a l l le f t -handed f i n a l .

Steve won the toss in th is

" b e s t of f i v e " f ina l and

prompt ly stormed ahead wi th

throws of 101, 100 and 60.

H i s bad f i n i s h i n g , af ter

reach ing a double top, was

pun ished by Mike who had been

dogged ly c h a s i n g h im .

However , th is proved to be

M i k e ' s las t f l i ng as h i s nerves

became the better of h im and

Steve took the next three

games in s u c c e s s i o n . So after

numerous attempts Steve

f i na l l y won the F r e m l i n and

den ied Mike the oppor tun i ty of

ho ld i ng both major IC dar ts

t i t l es i n the same year .

P a u ' WhiVock

1F Only:. Y O U A R E about to read the

f i rs t g r ipp ing ins ta l lment of a

new s e r i e s of IF O n l y s . (Af ter

an in t roduct ion l i k e that I

doubt very much whether you ' re

about to read anyth ing of the

k ind) . W e l l , if t ha t ' s your

a t t i tude, you just B O F F ! (I'm

awfu l l y sorry about that —

everyone seems to be under the

impress ion that us I F ' e r s are

gen t i l e young ma idens , (oh,

y e a h ? - E d ) , so I therefore

appeal to the minor i ty who may

c l a s s t hemse lves a s s u c h to

forg ive me for that d e v a s t a t i n g l y

porn-oh outburst . Sorry.)

If you were o f fended, don ' t

read on , because I'm in a dead

narsty mood; apart from the fact

that I've just shut the door on

my f inger and de f i n i t e l y failed

my b las ted German Chamber of

Commerce exam (which I d idn ' t

rea l l y care two hoots about . . .

much!) , my drat ted watch has

broken and the bath water was

c o l d . Now if that wou ldn ' t puW

you in a bad mood, you must be

an abso lu te a n g e l , and that

means you haven ' t been at IF

very long. I w i l l , therefore,

persona l l y honour you wi th a

further free two-year cou rse at

I ' lnst i tut F r a n c a i s du Royaume-

Ur i where you w i l l be t ransformed

into a normal person or wo rse ,

as Dave C h a n c e w i l l t e l l y o u .

H e ' s been here qu i te a few

t imes , and h e ' s de f i n i t e l y

worse .

Enough of th is reba ld ry . T o

any of you who have comp le te l y

forgotten that there w a s ever

s u c h an a r t i c l e as ' I F O n l y ' ,

then I w i l l remind y o u . I t 's

I F ' s very own l i t t le port ion of

' F E L I X ' , where any of us can

re l eas e our fee I i ngs on anyth i ng,

and P i n g - P o n g (our f r i end ly ,

f u z z y , fungus- topped F E L I X

Ed i to r ) has to ld me, in perosn ,

that we are under no ob l iga t ion

to keep it c l e a n . So if you have

any emot iona l , persona l or

sexua l problems, forget about

A n n a Rayburn and launch

yourse l f into wr i t i ng an ' I F

O n l y ' . It may not s o l v e your

hang-ups but at least it w i l l

prov ide I C ' s Un ion E x e c wi th

a bi t of f resh scanda l to g loat

over in the Un ion bar.

J u l i a R o s s

F E L I X Published by the Editor on

behalf of I .C.Union Publication Board. Printed Off-set Litho on the premises.

Fe l ix Office,PrinceConsort Fid, London SW7 2BB.

T e l . 01 589 5111 ext 1048,1042

© F E L I X , 1976

Many thanks G i l l , Ian,

Terry, Cl ive & Dave K

Attack on critics S i r , - Often in the past I have

read the record rev i ews and

thought that the c r i t i c knew

nothing about the ar t is t (s)

whose record he w a s rev i ew ing :

now I know that he knows

noth ing .

I have no comp la in t s about

h i s rev iew of the t r acks , as

that i s a purely persona l

v iewpo in t , but when he ta l ks a

load of bu l l sh i t about the

ar t is t that i s d i f ferent .

The record that I refer to

is " S a y it a in ' t s o " , by Murray

H e a d . I would l i ke to l is t be low

some of the absurd statements

made in the r ev i ew :

1. Quote " . . . t h e bulk of H e a d ' s

ef forts earn him zero for s tar

q u a l i t y " Murray head was for a

coup le of years the or ig ina l

J u d a s in " J e s u s C h r i s t

S u p e r s t a r " , one of the main

parts in the show. B e s i d e s th is

Mr Head i s p lay ing support to

E l t o n John on h i s la test tour -

zero for s tar qua l i ty, o b v i o u s l y !

2. Quote " H e might w e l l have

been f lus te red by h i s f i rs t

venture to a record ing s t u d i o ' '

F i r s t venture ! ! A s p rev ious l y

s ta ted , he p layed the part of

J u d a s on the s tage and a l s o on

the o r ig ina l sound t rack (poss­

ib ly on the f i lm as w e l l , but

I'm not too sure) . A s w e l l as

th is he r e l e a s e d an L P on

C B S c a l l e d " N i g e l L i v e d " .

The L P took the form of a

diary of a boy who comes down

to the b ig c i t y ie London to

seek fame and fortune, but

ge ts in w i th d i f ferent t ypes

and even tua l l y ends up a

drug add ic t . The L P has a few

tr i te s ongs ; but the ove ra l l

sound is good, and was we l l

rece ived by most of the c r i t i c s

in the genu ine mus ic papers .

T h u s , th i s i s Murray H e a d ' s

third venture into the s tud io

and, in my most l i v i b l e

op in ion see ing that we people

ou ts ide the l i terary f i e l d

know s o l i t t le about m u s i c , h i s

best s o far. I have to agree

about the song " Y o u ' r e so

T a s t y " , but a l l of the others

are done in the usua l superb

Murray Head s t y l e .

3. Quote "Mur ray Head has

. . .yet to d i s c o v e r what he does

b e s t " .

If he doesn ' t do anyth ing

we l l then why was a who le

programme ded i ca ted to him

and h i s mus ic on C a p i t a l

R a d i o a few week s ago? Sure ly ,

they must know what is go ing

to draw the a u d i e n c e s away

from the B B C s t a t i o n s .

4. Quote " . . . o r Head is low

on ta lent . Judg ing from the

f ra i l v o c a l s I s u s p e c t the

l a t t e r " .

I feel that I have s a i d

su f f i c i en t to show that he i s

not that low on ta lent , and,

in fac t , very far from i t .

About the s o n g s : George

Me l l y May be ab le to do a

vers ion of " S o m e o n e s R o c k i n g

My Dreamboa t " w h i c h is

c l o s e r to the o r i g i na l 1920 ' s

ve rs ion of the song but the

Murray Head ve rs ion is how he

wants to do i t , not how you want

him to do it. What about

" N e v e r E v e n T h o u g h t " and

" S i l e n c e i s a Strong R e p l y "

they s tand out even more

than " B o a t s A w a y " and

" D o n ' t Forge t H im N o w " .

In future I a s k ; p l ease don' t

t e l l every th ing that you th ink

you know about an a r t i s t when

in fac t you know no th ing .

That is about a l l that I

rea l l y w i s h to gr ipe about . Be

warned, the reader doesn ' t

l i ke pr inted ignorance .

Y o u r s ,

W . P . J A C K S O N

Chem II

Nightline

581 2468 N?8

Sports Centre

r z z

int. 2468

Accommodation Office

Nightline

PRINCES.GDNS.

South Side

Someone to ta lk to

Informat ion o n : -

p regnancy , l ega l a i d , gay

cen t res , d rugs , la te night

b u s e s e tc .

You will find

Nightline at:

8 P r i n c e s Gardens

South K e n s i n g t o n

4 f l H R

De price o' inflation BIN KEEPIN" d e w a s y e y e on

de c a s h f low problem o ' de

recent w e e k s . De bank manerger

s a y i n ' de idea i s fo ' me to leave

de c a s h in de bank , not de

bank l e a v i n ' d e p i l e s o '

f i ve rs w i d me. I f i n d i n ' dat de

p res iden t ia l s a l l e r y h a v i n ' t ' be

supper l imented w i d de b l a c k ­

mai l p roceeds s i n c e de

Con fe rence s l a s h e d on de c a s h

payments to de top nobs on de

execbe r t i ve . It b in s l i p p e d in

w h i l e de left a n ' r ight f r e n i n '

over de po in ts o ' order a n ' de

c h a n g i n ' o ' de c o n s t i t u t i o n a n '

no one n o t i c e , de cut in de

b red . I need in ' mo' c a s h fo ' de

f ack - f i nd i n ' m i s s i o n s to de

Iron C u r t i n a n ' s o fo r th . C r o t t a

f ind out on de la tes t w a y s o '

' w i p i n ' out a few hummered

r ight w ing buggers now de p r i ce

o ' lead s o h i g h .

De Na t i ona l Gumment got de

s c r e w s on de e d u c a t i o n . Wh i le

c.e popper lace U n i n ' up fo ' de

four per cen t a l l roun ' de real

leaders l i ke yours t rue ly

e d i n ' up w i d twenty per cen t

l e s s . "Wo t about de B a l a n c e

o ' P a y m e n t s " dey say " a n ' de

G N P a n ' B r i t L e y l a n d . "

P u s o n l l y I c a n ' t see why

y ' a l l s o f u s s e d 'bout de

pound Stirling on ly b e i n '

worth a d o l l a r a n ' 'ar f in de

U of S A . If yo" a s k i n ' me de

who le th ing am a cra f ty plot

by de gumment so dat land In

de U K get s o cheap fo ' de

Y a n k s dat de famous Bung

C r o s b y a f fo rd in ' to buy Ireland

fo ' conve r t . n ' to de go l f c o u r s e .

Dere shure am enuff h o l e s a n '

c ra ters in it a l ready .

If de F e l i c s don ' ca re to

support me, de ed i te r , de P a u l

P i n g Pong gonna be w a l k i n '

a roun ' w i d de teef in de hat

a n ' de c ru t ches under de

good arm. I a l s o f i n d i n ' he

respons ib l e fo ' de racket o'

de r e v v i n ' ca r s a n ' de t i res

s k e r e e c h i n ' up de Ma le t St on

Sunday am. I a w a k i n ' at f l a n '

s a y i n ' " H u m , de mi lkman

ear ly t o d a y " a s de m i l k

bot t les c runch in ' in de s t reet ,

on ly T" f i n ' de spor ts c a r s

c o m i n ' roun' de corner on

de trendy P i r e l l i rad iums l i ke

a cheetah w i d a p in in de bum.

It not de Emera ld F i t i b a l d i out

fo ' de Sunday T i m e s but de

F e l i c s T resu re hunt. How de

s toodents a f fo rd in ' de g a s , I

t h i n k i n ' . A n de wors th ing am

that no one got de answe rs s i t e

on account o ' de expert dat P .

Pong brought in g i t t i n ' de

c l u e s a n ' i ns t ruc t ions wrong.

De d r i ve rs got so mad dey pu l led

de w ing off o ' de o rgan ize rs

ca r .

Dere us in de top o ' de

number one Un ion o ' de s tood ­

ents s a y i n ' to de w o r l ' " H e y

M a n , wot ta bout de poor

s t u d e s " an f i nd i n ' dey got de

spare c a s h fo ' de f l ash c a r s .

I t h i nk i n ' o' rechomend in ' a

cut in de grant ' s tead o' de

£2000pa we push i n ' , on ly I

gotta th ink o ' my own we l fa re

f i r s t .

T P

PRIZE CROSSWORD No. 35

1 5L 3 t S & 1 8

to II ra.

1 my

IS i

ft

$

l o

•xt 1 • i *«. Z.S •

i t a ? 3.1 3<t

r 1 33 »<»• l

a *:

A C R O S S

I. D e v i l can be c r i p p l i n g

9 . V i e w e r s that c a n go square?

I I . 12thor 6th J e w i s h month

13. Write o n e ' s name backwards

14. Lug back w i th note a

l ight s l edge

15 . Rus t c o c k n e y cow c o v e r i n g

17 . D i d someone Troy to get

her?

18. N o s l i w dlorah

19b Same a s rear( 1)

20 . B a c k up a w e l l sung an imal

2 1 . Very inde f in i te g i r l ?

2 3 . Not mends or any others

2 5 . Speak of woo len staf f

2 6 . 1 0 . 0 0 : - H a H a

10 .01 : - T h e weather

28 . A c o s t to c r o s s an i s l and

30 . P A in some d iscomfor t (oh,

what a g i v e away I)

32 . A Shakespea r i an mispr in t

back aga in (cf p rev ious x-word)

3 3 . W ise man can make a c l a w

34 . La t te r he i s unknown

3 5 . C r e a s e d now, but c o m m u n i ­

c a t e s

DOWN

1. D e s i r e a pound from a

doctor , but dep ress not corrupt .

2 . A sort of jynx

3 . D i e s a sort of comment to

the aud ience

4 . F rom l o s s to back c r y i ng

5 . A co rp in March?

6 . No pence in money book

g i v e s a sw ind le r

7 . A lute is made from

b u b l r i e s h e s ?

8 . Ganny a lgy pound for tree

10 .Same a s s h i e l d

12 . Someth i ng wonderfu I'

16 . (Spers) same as hoar

17. Juno

2 2 . S c o t t ' s rawn

2 3 b L i z does it, the farmers

want it

24bNab( , Na2 SOr , C a S 0 4

2 5 . Soon

27. A p e ten po in t s?

2 9 . R u s s e l l i s l i ke a l ion letter

3 1 . Born (fern)

32 . Look up

COLOUR PHOTOS

U R G E N T L Y WANTED

A n y b o d y who has any co lou r photos ( t rans­p a r e n c i e s or p r in t s ) of even ts at I C , pa r t i cu la r l y Morphy Day and R a g e v e n t s , is a s k e d to contac t P a u l E k p e n y o n g or C l i v e Dewey at the F E L I X O f f i ce as soon as p o s s i b l e .

No correct so lut ions were

received to Crossword No.34

T h e cumulat ive pr ize of £ 3

wi l l be given to the f irst

correct solut ion drawn out

of the Ed i to r ' s Hat at noon

next Wednesday, May 19th.

The Ed i to r 's d e c i s i o n wi l l

be f ina l .

Solution to Crossword No. 34

'Ml

m i x s

How to complain-effectively a) A s a consumer

Under the Sa le of G o o d s ( Impl ied

Te rms) A c t 1973 you are en t i t l ed to

return any fau l ty a r t i c l e to the re ta i l e r

from w h i c h you pu rchased i t . Y o u c a n

have your money back and do not have

to accept a rep lacement , repa i r or c red i t

note un less you chose to. E x p e n s e s

incurred due to the fau l t c a n a l s o be

c l a i m e d from the s h o p . E x c e p t i o n s not

cove red by the A c t are s e r v i c e s s u c h as

dry c l e a n i n g and goods bought at an

auc t i on . No r *can you c omp la i n i f the

fau l t was brought to your a t tent ion i n the

shop or i f you examined the a r t i c l e

before purchase and cou ld reasonab ly

have no t i ced any d e f e c t s .

H a v i n g dec ided to c o m p l a i n , what

do you do? T a k e the goods back to the

shop w i th the r e c e i t . If you ob ta in no

s a t i s f a c t i o n wr i te to the Head O f f i c e by

reg is te red le t ter . T h e L S E l a w students

at the Welfare Cent re c a n he lp y o u w i th

t h i s . If th i s does not b r ing resu l t s you

c a n talte the matter to cour t . F o r a r t i c l e s

worth l e s s than £100 th is w i l l on ly c o s t

you £5 w h i c h i s re turnable i f you w i n the

c a s e . A g a i n the L S E s tudents c a n a d v i s e

y o u .

In a pr iva te s a l e , for examp le , buy ing

a car from a pr ivate motor is t , it i s up to

you to examine the v e h i c l e . Y o u may

and s h o u l d , as i n any s a l e , c h e c k that the

s e l l e r i s the r igh t fu l owner . R e d r e s s i s

p o s s i b l e i f , for e x a m p l e , the car i s not as

desc r i bed w i th respec t to age or m i l e a g e .

b) A s a letter writer

C o m p l a i n t s about the G P O s h o u l d

f i rs t be taken to the l o c a l P o s t O f f i c e .

If you get no joy then, check i f there i s

a l o c a l P o s t O f f i ce A d v i s o r y Commi t tee

( A d d r e s s e s at the Welfare Cent re or i n

the phone book) . T h e s e are independent

vo luntary bod ies w h i c h a d v i s e the G P O

about l o c a l consumer n e e d s . Ano ther

source of he lp i s the P o s t O f f i c e U s e s

Na t i ona l C o u n c i l ( P O U N O , T e l : 0 1 / 9 2 8

9458. They are a l s o an independent body

and ex i s t s o l e l y to represent the consumer .

c) A s an NHS patient

Y o u are l e g a l l y en t i t l ed to be treated

wi th ' r e a s o n a b l e ' care and s k i l l . If you

th ink you have suf fered due to neg l i gence

on the part of a G P , dentest o p t i c i a n , or

chemis t con tac t the l o c a l F a m i l y

P r a c t i t i o n e r s ' Commi t tee . If the compla in t

concerns an h o s p i t a l con tac t the H o s p i t a l

Admin is t ra to r . A d v i c e on how to comp la in

c a n be obta ined from your l o c a l communi ty

Hea l th C o u n c i l . A d d r e s s e s at the

wel fare Cent re or i n the phone book .

d) A s a rate payer

If you w i s h to c o m p l a i n about

ma ladmin i s t ra t i on by a l o c a l au tho r i t y , '

or water author i ty y o u c a n make a compla in t

through that author i ty to the l o c a l

Ombudsman. T h e Ombudsman i s an

independent C o m m i s s i o n e r who c a n look

into the way th ings are h a n d l e d , but not

the meri ts of any d e c i s i o n made by the

author i ty . C o n t a c t the Welfare Cen t re for

further d e t a i l s .

We are open Mon — F r i 12.30 — 1.30pm;

l ega l adv i ce on Wednesdays , and are

loca ted at the top of the U n i o n .

Appendices

1. O v e r s e a s Students ! A re you in te res ted

i n day t r ips to Strat ford upon A v o n ,

C h i c h e s t e r , Cambr idge e tc or h o l i d a y s i n

the L a k e D i s t r i c t ? C o n t a c t the Welfare

Cent re for dates or phone In ternat iona l

House on 636 9 4 7 1 .

2. Wot happened to G A Y S O C ? I rece ive

bumph on gays from time to t ime, for

examp le , they are h o l d i n g a con fe rence at

the end of May . Anyone in te res ted contac t

me through U n i o n le t te r r a c k s or at the

C e n t r e .

3. H E L P ! N e a r l y a l l the C e n t r e ' s he lpe rs

are l e a v i n g th is summer. A n y o n e in te res ted

in he lp i ng out for one luncht ime a week

p l e a s e come and see me at the C e n t r e .

Sue K a l i c i n s k i

Smug, uncritical IC B U R N T H E W O R K S H E E T S ! -

No joke; I am dead ly s e r i o u s .

Burn the heret ic you a l l c r y , but

before you do , L e t me e x p l a i n ,

for those of you who c a n

imagine a wor ld wi thout them —

no harder than to imagine l i fe

af ter death or o b l i v i o n , as the

c a s e may be, why 1 th ink they

are an insu l t to i n t e l l i g e n c e .

Anyone who does not know

what a work-sheet is shou ld

be re jo i c ing and shou ld c h e c k

that they are at IC or that they

have not been at tending

c o u r s e s e l s e w h e r e , e r roneous ly .

I do not blame the people who

produce them — they are

invo lved in "mo re impor tan t "

th ings and have no t ime to

worry about the educa t iona l

mer i ts of the work-sheet and

l e t ' s face i t , most people at

IC ac tua l l y be l i eve they want

to do them — m a s o c i s t s !

The ones I r ece i ve are

master p i e c e s among work­

s h e e t s , bu tdoes th is c h a n n e l l i n g

and normal isa t ion of my

idea do me or anyone e l s e

any good?

T h i s r a i s e s the ques t ion of

the funct ion of educa t i on in

s o c i e t y . Whatever may be s a i d ,

on ly someone l i v i ng in

cuckoo land cou ld c l a i m the

sys tem was not produc ing , at

a l ! l e v e l s , people wi th

reg imented, s tereotype minds

— an e a s y to hand le commod i ty ,

but for whom? Wi l l they treat

us l i ke any other c o n s u m a b l e ?

Who are the u s e r s ?

F o r g i v e me for th ink ing that

on ly one sub jec t i s taught at

undergraduate leve l - that i s

conformi t ty , perhaps we have

some " u s e r s " here . Eve ryone

look up from your m i c r o c o s m i c

w o r l d s , can you s e e any?

Fac to ry fodder does not change

in e s s e n c e over the y e a r s , or

up the educa t iona l ladder , it

just gets more s o p h i s t i c a t e d ;

accoun tancy fodder or t e c h n i c a l

fodder.

What about work s h e e t s ,

that method of educa t ion that

shou ld have d ied out w i th

ph log is ton theory: Den ied of

the Zombi a c t i v i t y of putt ing

numbers into equat ions what

cou ld you do? Start t h ink ing !

You would have noth ing better

to do than the sub jec t you

came here for. What w a s it

c a l l e d now? Soc ie ty s t r i v e s to

negate expe r i ence : a second

law of thermodynamics operates

in reverse , if you let i t , the

w a y s in wh i ch you th ink and

ac t w i l l a l l be determined for

y o u .

S o c i a l l y , what goes on at

th is C o l l e g e ? T rad i t i on

demands that you get drunk

every other night and the

n igh ts in between spent in

converse on the art of th rowing-

up and what a sw ine you can

be towards women and other

m ino r i t i es . From your f i rs t day

the un ions make qui te sure the

m i n d l e s s t rad i t ion w i l l never

be forgot ten.

There is a s o c i a l a l te rna t i ve .

Spend your e v e n i n g s in your

own c l i q u e expand ing the

f ront iers of bourgeo is i deao logy .

How much have you expe r i enced

of your sub jec t l i f e , each other

s i n c e you came here? The

oppor tun i t ies e x i s t , why not

make the most of them? Burn

the work s h e e t s . It i s a s tep

in the right d i rec t i on and

perhaps it cou ld s top the

turning that must be go ing on

in the H u x l e y ' s fami ly g rave .

Stephen Humby

I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E WIND E N S E M B L E

Outdoor Concert

T h e Q u e e n ' s T o w e r , Imper ia l C o l l e g e

Suppe: Over tu re : L i g h t C a v a l r y

E l g a r : March : P o m p and C i r c u m s t a n c e N o . 1

TSCHAIKOWSKY : 1812 O V E R T U R E

Q u e e n ' s Tower B e l l s rung by the U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n

B e l l R i n g e r s P y r o t e c h n i c s by the Imper ia l C o l l e g e Dramat i c

Soc ie t y

1.00pm T u e s d a y May 18 1976 A l l Welcome

FELIX Photographic Competition

The competition is open to all staff and students of Imperial College, except members of tbe F E L I X staff. This year all entries must be B&W or Colour prints. There will be nine categories:

B&W Portrait L a n d s c a p e Natural History Photojournal ism General

C O L O U R Portrait L a n d s c a p e NaturaJ History General

1. Prints must possess a surface area greater than 48sq inches. 2. Prints may be mounted or unmounted. Only unmounted prints may be reproduced.

3. F E L I X reserves the right to reproduce any entries. Only prints made on glossy paper may be reproduced. 4. If there are insufficient entries for any of the categories prints entered for those categories wHl be judged under th-; General section.

5. Entries should have the name, department and year of the photographer attached to each print. 6. There is an entrance fee of lOp per competitor. A H fees will be added to the prize money. 7. Last date for entry is 2.00pm on Friday 21st May.

8. There will be cash prizes. 9. The judges decision will be final.

10. Prints should be delivered to the F E L I X office.

J J U J J L

Seviews Books

Alexander Solzheni tsyn — Gulag

Arch ipe lago vol 2 (Fontana 695pp, £1 .00 ) ' .

W H E N I F I R S T read vo lume one of th i s

three vo lume h is to ry of the R u s s i a n Ter ror

(before, dur ing and af ter the S t a l i n i s t

per iod) , I thought that it was the most

d is tu rb ing th ing I had ever r e a d . T h e

f i r s t vo lume d e a l t ma in l y w i t h the

interrogat ion and transport of p r i soners —

th i s book is a lmost en t i re l y devo ted to

the des t ruc t i ve labour camps t h e m s e l v e s .

It was not d i f f i c u l t to f i nd onese l f in

such a camp; S o l z h e r i t s y n records hundreds

of i nd iv idua l s t o r i e s . F o r examp le , the

farmer who swore at h i s c o w ; the deaf

mute who hung h i s j acke t on a bust of

L e n i n - ten y e a r s ! T h e coup le sen tenced

for ho ld ing a s p i r i t u a l i s t s e a n c e ; the

a l c o h o l i c who r ece i ve d e igh t yea rs for

d r i nk ing ! And when one i n d i v i d u a l w a s

a r res ted , a l l the members of h i s fami ly

were pu l led in as w e l l , and a l l the i r

ne ighbours who had f a i l e d to inform on

them! We must not forget the thousands of

Only for strong stomach

peop le pu l l ed in off the s t ree ts at random

and g i ven ten or twenty year s e n t e n c e s !

T h e p ic ture i s indeed hor r i f y ing . Very

few su r v i ved the i r s e n t e n c e s - and those

who d id s o were immedia te ly g i ven

add i t i ona l terms!

What was the purpose of a l l t h i s ?

P a r t i a l l y , the author e x p l a i n s , to prov ide

a s l a v e labour f o r ce , but p r imar i l y to

force the popu la t ion into a fear of

s tepp ing out of l i n e , of dar ing to c r i t i c i s e

author i ty or any a s p e c t of the s ta te . The

work for w h i c h the s l a v e labour was used

w a s not a l w a y s urgent or e v e n u s e f u l .

F o r examp le , the S t a l i n White Sea -

B a l t i c C a n a l , bu i l t on a whim of the

leader in twenty months . Dur ing one

w in te r 100,000 men, women and ch i l d ren

( yes , and it w a s p o l i c y to d i v i d e f a m i l i e s

into di f ferent camps) d i ed on th i s one

project — and thei r bones can be seen in

the conc re te of the c a n a l .

T h i s cana l se rved and se rves no

nava l use wha tsoeve r . But it prov ided

one more pit to devour the s o c i a l l y

undes i rab le e l e m e n t s .

It i s in te res t ing to f o l l ow the cor rup t ion ,

even of s o c i a l i s m , w i t h i n the camps ; the

development of a r ig id c l a s s s t ruc ture ; the

ever i nc reas ing use of compet i t ion and

incen t i ves in order to f u l f i l l the work

norms; and the large s c a l e chea t ing

used to rece i ve h igher ra t ions .

We are to ld how th is corrupt ion leaked

out into s o c i e t y at large and we rece i ve

other va l uab le i ns igh ts into that s o c i e t y .

One sen tence , in par t i cu la r , s tands out —

"out of every four to five city dwellers

there would most certainly be one who at

least once in his life had received a

proposal to become an informer".

T h i s i s ce r ta in l y more d is tu rb ing than

V o l One — I a d v i s e you not to read it

u n l e s s y o u have a s t rong s tomach '

D. Everett

A remarkable tale T S E l i o t : T h e Great Li terary Hoax by

L B Gowers (Penguine 60p)'.

IN 1917 E B Ha tcha rd , a young Cambr idge

D o n , pub l i shed " P r u f r o c k and other

o b s e r v a t i o n s " under the pseudonym of

T S Eliot. T h i s c o l l e c t i o n of " p o e m s "

was intended as a sa t i re on E z r a P o u n d ,

whose irreverent and f r i vo l ous peoms had

i rr i tated Ha tcha rd . One example of th i s

f r i vo l i t y i s P h y l l i d u l a , w h i c h , perhaps

sugges ts a c l a s s i c a l poem, but s ta r ts

" P h y l l i d u l a i s sc rawny but a m o r o u s " .

The portrait of the w h i m s i c a l but rather

pretent ious young man in " T h e L o v e

Song by J A l f r e d P r u f r o c k " was intended

to represent P o u n d ' s poet ry .

The next poem, " A Por t ra i t of a L a d y ' ,

parod ies P o u n d ' s 'Po r t r a i t d 'une Femme '

by use of a comple te a n t i t h e s i s of

s t y l e . Hatchard c h o s e the name 'TS Eliot'

because it i s an anagram of t o i l e t s , the

only p lace Hatchard fe l t s u i t a b l e for

Pounds poetry.

A further c o l l e c t i o n was pub l i shed in

1920, w h i c h i nc luded the notor ious

and obscu re l y o b s c e n e Sweeny P o e m s .

(In fac t , Sweeny E r e c t i nc l udes a graph ic

desc r i p t i o n of in te rcourse behind the

facade of words . )

' T h e Waste L a n d ' , the next to be

p u b l i s h e d , and the most famous poem,

parod ies not on ly P o u n d , to whom it is

d e d i c a t e d , but a l s o others s u c h as

Rupert B rook , (the f i rs t part is an

ana logue of h i s ' G r u n t c h e s t e r ' , and a l s o

work ing c l a s s s p e e c h , cf the latter part

of ' A Game of C h e s s ' , w i th i ts grat ing

she saids.)

T h e s e s a t i n e s were i n i t i a l l y c i r c u l a t e d

on ly in Cambr idge , unt i l 1932 when a

pup i l of H a t c h a r d ' s , F R L e a v i s , pub l i shed

an e s s a y ' N e w B e a r i n g s in E n g l i s h

Poe t r y ' ( ava i l ab l e in P e l i c a n ) . S i n c e

then, the joke has spread far beyond the

con f i nes of C a m b r i d g e , and as a resul t of

further ' e c p o s i t i o n ' by va r ious d i l e t t an tes ,

what o r i g i na l l y began as a s c h o l a s t i c

joke is now taken s e r i o u s l y by many

dabb le rs in poetry.

T h i s remarkable ta le of a pseudonym

w h i c h became one of the best known poets

of th is century p rov ides much to amuse

those more in teres ted in t h i s a r e a ,

a l though much of the o r ig ina l humour of

poems i s los t , s i n c e a t t i tudes and

f ash ions have changed so much. The

s t y l e of the book makes it fa i r l y easy

go ing , a l though some of the de ta i l ed

a n a l y s i s becomes d u l l , as do most jokes

w h i c h have to be e x p l a i n e d . T h i s is a

book I wou ld thoroughly recommend,

a l though to those few IC s tudents who

have heard of T S E l i o t , it may come as an

embarrassment to r e a l i s e that they have

been duped. H i lax

Music Better than Skol

T H I S L P s tands out, w i th few o thers , a s one of the rea l l y wor thwh i le m u s i c a l ef for ts of the las t twe lve months and , t reads the ground that good mus i c shou ld tend towards — qua l i t y s ongs , great , c l e a n , product ion, most important of a l l , p e e r l e s s m u s i c i a n s h i p — guys who are c a p a b l e of p l ay ing whatever i s asked of them and of cons tan t l y i nven t i ng w i t h i n any t ime—signature or background you care to c h o o s e .

B e a u t i f u l , beau t i f u l , sounds cove r both s i d e s . Moody and ye t c a r e s s i n g l y soft a c o u s t i c p i a n o / o r c h e s t r a ' s o u n d ef fect in ter ludes s lo t ted between some of the sharpest rhythmic j a z z yet produced by the new wave a r t i s t s , such a s B i l l y Cobham, Horb le H a n c o c k , and Return to Fo reve r (with whom L e n n y White i s res ident pe rcuss ion maest ro) , that are

f i na l l y r e c e i v i n g some of th3 popular i ty they d e s e r v e .

Trtere are a l s o some e x c e l l e n t , new, a x e n e n on th i s a lbum (nam<3checks for Raymond G O . T V B Z and Doug Rod r i guez — b ig futures there) and who w j u l d have thought ex -san ta ; io id Doug Rauch capab l e of such fe roc ious l y f ine b a s s b u z z i n g , cons i de r i n g the number of mantras and <V:rto-compositions the poor s o d ' s had to endure . San tana c o u l d w e l l be better off do ing th is ins tead of a l l o w i n g C B S to re lease cheapo , d i r e l i c t , l i v e , t r ip le — a lbum record ings from some obscure N i p As t rodome.

So w h i l e everybody looks around for gu i t a r i s t s wi th enough gu ts , b ra i ns , and sure touch to *avage some ho r i zon , a lbums of th i s qua l i t y go unno t i ced , and toys l i k e Queen get landed on us a s the m e s i a h s of the new. year . If you want

to hear a real gui tar s o l o , worthy of res to r ing yer fai th in the instrument, l i s t en to the open ing minutes of " M a t i n g D r i v e " on s i d e two — a mass of power p lay ing and invent ion un l i ke l y to be heard e l sewhere for some t ime, and the uns toppab le beat makes the number more Invogorat ing than the proverb ia l knee- t remblers . Forget Sko l — th is re f reshes you bes t . I t 's even more memorable for I t 's comple te d i s s i m i l a r i t y to the anaemic pop " m u s i c " cur rent ly churned out by the med ia .

J u s t feas t your ears on th is beauty . No th ing but unreserved p ra ise Is dese rv i ng for Lenny White, h i s cohor ts , and the f a r - see ing , c l ea r - t h l nk i ng , cognoscen t i of A t l a n t i c R e c o r d s (s tanding ovat ion) for mak ing a v a i l a b l e such a good record aga ins t recent t rends. Great stuff !

HIC

M U X 7

B i k e C l ub .

Bleasdale makes his mark

Orienteer ing

Thrown off course T H E R E WAS de f i n i t e l y

someth ing s u s p i c i o u s about

the a c t i v i t i e s of seve ra l of our

sen io r o r ien teers las t weekend .

F i r s t l y , D a v i d R o s e n , running

the O lymp ic marathon t r ia l at

Rotherham, and thus d i s d a i n i n g

to take part in the Southern

N a v i g a t o r ' s Even t at Lower

Bourne Fo res t near Fa rnham.

T h e n , on Sunday morning

i t se l f , A l a n L e a k e y proferr ing

vague e x c u s e s about not

running, o therw ise engaged ,

e t c , and g u i z z i c a l g l a n c e s from

the rest of us , who were

p u z z l e d why th is pa r t i cu la r

event shou ld seem so a v e r s i v e ,

e s p e c i a l l y on a b l i s t e r i n g May

day .

It was no t .un t i l we reached

our des t ina t ion that we saw the

l ight of day . Owing to a

l imi ted supp ly of maps , the

organ isers had f i t fu l l y dec ided

that compet i tors on the ' A '

and ' B ' cou rses shou ld run

'Map Memory' - wh ich b a s i c a l l y

en ta i l ed t ry ing to memorise the

cou rse , not in who le (perhaps

th is fate w i l l awai t us shor t l y ) ,

from contro l to c o n t r o l . T h o s e

new to th is type of compet i t ion

env i saged or ien teer ing wi thout

a map being somewhat ak in to

k a m i k a z i .

Undaunted , we rose to the

o c c a s i o n in d i f fe r ing orders of

magni tude. On the ' A ' cou r se ,

C l i v e R e i d in 85 .15 and Steve

Webb in 105.31 managed to

overcome the techn ica l

d i f f i c u l t i e s of the latter part

of the cou rse , wh ich forced Ian

Isherwood to re t i re . T o add

insu l t to in jury, Steve later

showed Ian h i s m i s t a k e . On the

shorter ' B ' cou rse , w h i c h was

rea l l y the f i rs t 1/3 rds of the

MIN ING H O U S E tr iumphed in the

RSM 6 — A - s i d e s o c c e r c o m ­

pet i t ion last Saturday, by

de fea t ing Mat Met 1, 2—0 in

the semi - f i na l and Geo logy 2 A ,

2—1 in the f i n a l . M in ing house

f a i l e d to produce the i r expec ted

f luent , en te rp r i s ing footba l l in

the ear ly league matches ,

though s t i l l get t ing through to

the last four. The semi - f i na l

and f ina l were en t i re ly d i f ferent

s to r i es w i th M in ing house

producing some exh i l a ra t i ng

p lay . In the sem i - f i na l a

b r i l l i an t move, i nvo l v ing

' A ' cou rse , T im Murphy in

95 .25 narrowly beat M i k e

Welford by two minu tes .

Fo r tuna te l y , both cou rses

were not too c h a l l e n g i n g ,

though many would tes t i f y that

the dense forest a reas were to

be avo ided at a l l c o s t s .

E n t e r p r i s i n g l y , three of our

accompaniment d e c l i n e d the

c h a l l e n g e , and c h o s e the ' C

cou rse , a chance to employ

real or ienteer ing techn iques

wi th a proper map, and humor­

ous ly p ic ture the qu i xo t i c

adventures of the foo l -hardy .

On a course s l i gh t l y shorter

than the ' B ' cou r se , Hans

A c h t r i c k , a f r iend of A l a n ' s ,

found the terrain to h i s l i k i n g ,

record ing 52.57; J o n G i b b i n s

(66.05) and D iane Benge

(74.15) in c red i tab le t imes ,

enforced the rule that n a v i ­

gat ing w i th a map was a much

more t ime-sav ing past ime

than re ly ing on an ever -

forgetful memory.

F o r those who are in terested

in th is men ta l l y -exac t i ng ,

though not n e c e s s a r i l y

p h y s i c a l l y - d e m a n d i n g s p o r t ,

the c lub ho lds week l y luncht ime

meet ings every F r i d a y in the

Un ion Senior Common Room,

where you w i l l learn more of

our a c t i v i t i e s , both spor t ing

and s o c i a l , to wh i ch a l l are

we lcome. The next event i s on

Sunday 16th May, in E p p i n g

F o r e s t , a Badge Even t

o rgan ised by C h i g w e l l O C ,

where there w i l l be c o u r s e s for

the nov i ce and the expert —

the c l u b lends out w h i s t l e

and c o m p a s s e s for newcomers ,

the only other requirement

being a modicum of common

s e n s e .

p rec i s i on pass ing from Ha l let

and J o h n s o n , t an ta l i s i ng

d r ibb l ing by Frampton and

D u n c a n . Was f i n i shed superb ly

by a pav lov v o l l e y . In the f ina l

Geo logy 2A made Min ing house

work hard, but through a g i l e

goa l keeping by Mayo , three

ef for ts by Duncan wh i ch hit

the c r o s s bar, and two w e l l —

taken ind i v idua l goa l s by

Frampton , M in ing house were

deserved w inne rs . Cong ra tu l a ­

t ions must go to the o rgan isers

a n d t h e t e a m s for mak ing it s u c h

an en joyab le d a y ' s s o c c e r .

In the second of a wor ld

s h a t t e r i n g s e r i e s of

appearances , Mart in B l e a s d a l e

took h is K a w a s a k i 400 to the

Bemsee A c e of C l u b s Road

R a c e s at Snetter ton (near

Norwich) on May 1s t . The

glory was to be a l l M a r t i n ' s

as our other racer , N i c k J a m e s ,

had left h i s V e l o c e t t e in

B i rmingham (so he c la imed)

and cou ld not compete . Ins tead,

he was re legated to rac ing

the v a n !

P r a c t i c e was at 11am for

the K a w a s a k i and , un fami l ia r

wi th the c i r c u i t , Mar t in took a

s l igh t detour a long the g rass

verge at Sea rs Corne r , do ing a

sedate 60mph. T h e marsha ls

looked qu i te peturbed! On the

second and s u c c e s s i v e t r i es , a

more conven t i ona l corner ing

s t y l e was adopted.

Mar t i n ' s f i rs t race was the

100cc P roduc t i on R a c e , wi th

mach ines such as Honda

750-4s , Nor ton Commandos

and , of c o u r s e , Y a m a h a s ,

St Johns C o l l e g e , Cambr idge

usua l l y prov ide st rong oppos i t i on

and th i s year was no e x c e p t i o n .

IC 1st XI t rave l led down fee l i ng

conf ident yet were narrowly

beaten in a su rp r i s i ng l y low

sco r i ng match.

A n ear ly c o l l a p s e and then

a pa in fu l l y s l o w accumu la t i on

of 128 runs left St Johns ample

t ime to score the required runs .

Severa l of I C ' s batsmen were

out p lay ing premedi tated s h o t s ,

f rustrated by the pers is ten t

accu racy of the oppos i t i ons

bow l i ng . The c o l l a p s e was s l o w

and the r e s i s t a n c e s t rong yet

the performance was feeb le

and very ted ious .

200 again A W E E K A G O on Wednesday

IC 1st XI p layed South Stanmore

at Ha r l i ng ton . A f te r a very

br isk start of 48 runs in 20

minutes (Tom Ghosh 3 1 ,

Tony P a u l 27) there was a

lu l l in the s c o r i n g , but once

V i c k Brown (76 not out) and

R i c h a r d P a s h l e y (52 not out)

had se t t l ed in IC were ab le to

dec la re at tea w i th the score

at 202 for 3 .

A f te r tea , Chandra Ku lka rn i

ach ieved the in i t i a l break­

through by tak ing the f i rs t

two w i c k e t s . The subsequent

c o l l a p s e was brought about

by some e x c e l l e n t bowl ing by

John Gowle t t (5 for 26) and

the oppos i t i on were a l l out for

6 6 .

S u z u k i s and K a w a s a k i s . S t i l l

unfamil. iar wi th the c i r c u i t ,

Mart in f i n i s he d 34th out of 36 ,

wi th h i s lap t imes get t ing better

each lap . He a l s o got a B e m s e e

C h a m p i o n s h i p p o i n t f o r f i n i s h i n g

10th in h i s c l a s s . The race

was won by Tom Pemberton on

h i s K a w a s a k i 500 . Ge ts

everywhere , that one.

The second race of Mar t i n ' s

day was a l s o for 1000cc

product ion m a c h i n e s . On h i s

second lap, he had a " m o m e n t "

on Corams Corner but thought

it was merely too much power

too ea r l y . On h i s next v i s i t to

Co rams , he found a p i l e of

mach ines on the s i d e of the

t rack where the race leaders

had d i s c o v e r e d the o i l Mart in

s l i d on , Fo r tuna te l y , no one

was badly hurt. Mar t in f i n i shed

the race 31st out of 36 , hav ing

had a d i c e w i th 3 Y a m a h a s

and get t ing ahead of two of

them. W e ' l l be back later for

the rest of the f i e l d !

R . S . L . Wilkes

St Johns were forced to f ight

and the resu l t was in ques t i on

t i l l near the end . Some

e x c e l l e n t c a t c h e s , notably two

taken by the w i cke t keepe r

John T h o m b a n k kept the

pressure on St J o h n s , however

not a l l c h a n c e s were taken-

They sco red the w inn ing runs

w i th three overs of their last

twenty remain ing . T h i s was a

d i sappo in t i ng p e r f o r m a n c e

cons ide r i n g the resu l t s of the

matches of the s e a s o n .

IC Sunday XI v Parkf ie ld II

A F T E R A s o l i d start IC

scored s t e a d i l y w i th

con t r ibu t ions from a l l batsmen

notably John Thornback (26).

T h e ta i l had a last f l i ng and

the cap ta in dec la red at 147 for

8 .

The oppos i t i on were soon

s t rugg l ing aga ins t good

accura te bowl ing and N i c k

T reen g u i l e and pace (?) w a s

too much for them. However

they managed to hold on for a

draw at 86 f o r 8 . Cong ra tu la t i ons

are due for an e x c e l lent f i e l d i n g

d i s p l a y ; seve ra l good c a t c h e s

were taken and the ground

f i e l d i ng was very keen i ndeed .

M o r e

S P O R T

on b a c k p a g e

S o c c e r

Mining triumph

Cr i cket

Narrow victory for St John's

IC retain U L U championship

For the second successive

year IC won the University of

London Athletic Championship

due to several enthusiastic

performances in previously

untried events and the strength

and depth of middle distance

running of the college.

The day's athletics started,

a predictable half an hour later

than scheduled with the

hammer event. Our three

throwers all found this

event a little difficult, but with

a little determination and a lot

of strength each managed

commendable distances gaining

second fourth and fifth places.

Our one sprinter, Alan

Gregory was IC's only sprint

finalist of the day coming

fifth in the hundred metres.

The first success of the

day came in the 3000 metres

steeplechase, Rob All inson

stormed round the seven and

a half laps unconcerned about

his two foot landing technique

in the water jump to finish

first. Ian E l l i s suffering a

little in the dust storm created

by Rob came in second only

thirty yards behind him and

two hundred in front of the next

man.

Whilst Rob Doyle, Gordon

Chandler and John walked to

the Shot Put t c i r c l e , a q u i c k

s p i k e change s a w D a v e Henton

w in through to the f i na l of the

400m record ing a persona l best

at the same t ime.

T h e 3000m w a l k was

attempted by D a v e Lo rd and

M i k e " S t r o l l e r " Welford. A

dub ious s t y l e of w a l k i n g down

the back s t ra ight by some

oppos i t i on meant the IC had to

be content w i t h s e c o n d and

fourth p l a c e .

Andy Davey s a l v a g e d a

po in t from the 400m hu rd les ,

an event in wh i ch we d e f i n i t e l y

m i s s e d I C ' s Dave Wes t .

With wet s p i k e s d r ied in the

bak ing s u n , R o b A l l i n s o n

proceeded to w in the 5000m at

a s teady pace , just fas t enough

to keep the second p l a c e man,

S teve Webb from t ry ing any th ing

fas t on the las t l ap .

A n hour later the temper­

ature had dropped be low 7 0 * F

and seven cough ing IC runners

went back on to the c inder

t rack to star t the 1500m.

The f i e l d of twenty runners

set off at a b r i sk pace and at

1000m to go IC were ho ld ing

2 ,3 ,4 ,5 ,6 p o s i t i o n s . In the las t

four-hundred metres t h i s had

changed to 1,3,4 and 6th p l a c e s

w i t h Rob A l l i n s o n w i n n i n g .

T h e order was re ta ined w i th

Cricket

continued from page 7

IC 3rds v Melrose

T H E C O U R A G E O U S c r i c k e t e r s

of IC 3rds set out to do bat t le

aga ins t Me l rose on a s c o r c h i n g

May day (302 K ) . The sk ippe r

of the th i rds won the toss and

d e c i d e d to bat. Twenty runs

were b r i s k l y sco red before the

l oss of the f i rs t w i c k e t . A f te r

the l oss of another w i c k e t and

Ken Cowan came in to bat and

sco red 49 out of the tea- t ime

tota l of 95 for 9 . The last

w i c k e t soon f e l l l eav ing

Me l rose plenty of t ime in wh i ch

to sco re the 99 runs requ i red ,

a task w h i c h they never looked

l i k e l y to f a i l .

F o r IC P a u l A l l a n (Geordie)

took f i ve good w i c k e t s but

Me l rose sco red the n e c e s s a r y

runs for the l oss of s i x w i c k e t s .

It was a d i sappo in t i ng perform­

ance by the 3rds and some

better bat t ing w i l l be requi red

in future games .

Steve Webb th i rd a second or two in front of Ian E l l i s ; Tony We i r came in s i x t h .

Imperial won the team trophy by s e v e n po in ts (84) from. R o y a l H o l l o w a y C o l l e g e . T h a n k s must go to a l l the a th le tes who turned up and managed to keep the c u p where it b e l o n g s .

P S . I w i s h we cou ld f ind some

sp r i n te r s . b y , „ E | | j s

E A R L Y C O L L A P S E

KNOCKS OUT IC

IC 2nd XI v Kenton Traders

IC WON T H E toss and dec ided

to bat on a p i tch wh i ch had

taken a lot of ra in in the past

24 hours . The oppos i t i on

opening bowlers s u c c e s s f u l l y

swung the ba l l around and the

c o l l e g e team were soon in

t roubel at 18 for 3 . T h e c o l l a p s e

con t inued to 66 for 8 w i c k e t s

w i th the sp i n bowlers get t ing

a lot of turn from the p i t ch .

However two exce l l en t s tands

between T r e w h e l l a , the

opening batsman, and f i r s t l y

R i c k a r d and then Young

suceeded in g i v i ng the IC

bowle rs a chance when the

oppos i t i on bat ted. F i n a l l y , w i th

90 minutes to play IC dec la red

at 1 1 6 - 9 , wi th T r e w h e l l a 53

not out and the p i tch apparent ly

.becoming e a s i e r to bat on.

The opening bowlers

s u c c e e d e d in con ta in ing the

Kenton batsman, Sparke took 2

w i c k e t s and w i th the sp i n

bowle rs coming on , Kenton

were s t rugg l ing at 45—5 after

2 w i c k e t s in 2 b a l l s for

What t ing. However , the batsmen

then began to get on top.

A l thoug t t the b a l l w a s f requent ly

in the a i r it hardly ever went

to hand and Kenton ran out the

w inners by 5 w i c k e t s w i th

only 3.3 overs left to p lay .

Scores:

IC 2nd XI Kenton Traders

116 - 9 declared 117-5

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